All language subtitles for Betty.Whites.Off.Their.Rockers.S03E05.Back.in.the.Day.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-FLUX_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:16,016 YEAH. 2 00:00:16,190 --> 00:00:17,452 YES, SIR. 3 00:00:17,626 --> 00:00:19,323 YOU KNOW ABOUT THE HALF-PRICE SUIT? 4 00:00:19,497 --> 00:00:21,978 IT'S ALL THE RAGE. 5 00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:25,025 I LOVE IT! 6 00:00:29,464 --> 00:00:30,900 EXCUSE ME. MISS? 7 00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:40,518 WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE TODAY'S SPECIAL? 8 00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:51,399 BACK IN THE DAY, I USED TO EAT FIVE HOT DOGS, 9 00:00:51,573 --> 00:00:53,140 THREE POTATO KNISHES, 10 00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:55,490 AND WASH THEM DOWN WITH TWO BOTTLES OF CREAM SODA, 11 00:00:55,664 --> 00:00:57,622 AND I NEVER ONCE GOT INDIGESTION. 12 00:00:57,796 --> 00:01:00,364 WELL, BACK IN THE DAY, I COULD PLAY TENNIS IN THE MORNING, 13 00:01:00,538 --> 00:01:02,888 GOLF AT LUNCH, AND SOCCER IN THE EVENING. 14 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:06,196 BACK IN THE DAY, I COULD WALK INTO ANY CLUB 15 00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:08,720 AND LEAVE WITH THE HOTTEST GUY IN THERE. 16 00:01:08,894 --> 00:01:10,505 WHAT DAY WAS THAT, BETTY? 17 00:01:10,679 --> 00:01:11,767 YESTERDAY. 18 00:01:13,899 --> 00:01:15,684 JUST LET YOURSELF OUT, DEAR. 19 00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:25,520 ♪ OOH, GIRL ♪ 20 00:01:31,265 --> 00:01:33,963 BUP, BUP, BUP, BUP, BUP, BUP, BUP, BUP. 21 00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:38,576 BUP. 22 00:01:40,622 --> 00:01:43,320 BUP. 23 00:01:46,628 --> 00:01:48,673 BUP, BUP, BUP, BUP! 24 00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:52,373 BUP! BUP, BUP. 25 00:01:54,853 --> 00:01:56,638 ♪ BUP, BUP-BUP, BUP, BUP, BUP ♪ 26 00:01:56,812 --> 00:02:01,251 ♪ BUP, BUP, BUP, BU-U-U-UP, BUP, BA ♪ 27 00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:03,035 ♪ BUH! ♪ 28 00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:04,602 YAY. GO RAIDERS! 29 00:02:04,776 --> 00:02:06,343 - THAT'S RIGHT. - YAY! 30 00:02:06,517 --> 00:02:07,910 THAT'S RIGHT, GIRL. 31 00:02:08,084 --> 00:02:09,564 YEAH. YOU DO YOUR THING. 32 00:02:09,738 --> 00:02:10,782 LOOK AT YOU. 33 00:02:30,585 --> 00:02:32,891 I SEE YOU HAVE YOUR PHONE. 34 00:02:33,065 --> 00:02:34,632 YEAH. RIGHT. 35 00:02:34,806 --> 00:02:38,593 THE PROBLEM IS THAT WE'RE CHARGING NOW FOR WI-FI USE 36 00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:40,638 AS PEOPLE WALK UP AND DOWN THE STREET, 37 00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:43,075 - SO IT'S NOT FREE ANYMORE. - OKAY. 38 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,208 YOU ARE PREPARED, OBVIOUSLY, TO PAY FOR THAT, AND -- 39 00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:47,689 NO. I'M NOT GONNA PAY FOR THAT. 40 00:02:47,863 --> 00:02:49,952 SO, I'M GONNA HAVE TO WRITE THAT UP. 41 00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:54,739 THAT'S WI-FI PIRACY, 42 00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:56,480 AND THAT'S COMES, I'M SORRY TO SAY, 43 00:02:56,654 --> 00:02:58,352 WITH A PRETTY HEFTY FINE. 44 00:02:58,526 --> 00:02:59,527 WHAT? HOLD ON. 45 00:02:59,701 --> 00:03:01,093 IT'S OFF. 46 00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:05,402 EXPLAIN IT TO THE JUDGE, AND IT'S A $750 FINE. 47 00:03:05,576 --> 00:03:06,708 WHAT? 48 00:03:06,882 --> 00:03:08,536 WHAT HAPPENS IF I PAY FOR IT, THEN, 49 00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:10,277 INSTEAD OF TAKING THE TICKET? 50 00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:12,844 PAY FOR WHAT? THE WI-FI USE. 51 00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:16,326 LOOK, I'M JUST DOING MY JOB, REALLY. 52 00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,023 WHERE DO I PAY THIS? 53 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,677 WELL, JUST KEEP YOUR PHONE ON. 54 00:03:19,851 --> 00:03:21,244 YOU'LL BE GETTING AN E-MAIL. 55 00:03:34,126 --> 00:03:35,693 EXCUSE ME, SIR. 56 00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:39,915 DO YOU THINK IT'S REALLY BAD TO READ SOMEBODY'S DIARY? 57 00:03:40,089 --> 00:03:41,656 YEAH, IT IS. 58 00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:44,528 WELL, I KIND OF READ MY GRANDDAUGHTER'S DIARY, 59 00:03:44,702 --> 00:03:46,400 AND THERE WAS SOME STUFF IN HERE I DIDN'T QUITE UNDERSTAND. 60 00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:48,184 I WAS WONDERING. 61 00:03:48,358 --> 00:03:53,102 SHE HAD SOMETHING IN HERE, "Y-O-L-O" -- YOLO. "YEAH. 62 00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:56,279 DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? "YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE." 63 00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:58,107 OH! OH, THAT'S NICE! 64 00:03:58,281 --> 00:04:01,719 AND THEN, THE OTHER THING I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WAS, 65 00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:06,724 "I TRIED TO GO...REVERSE COWGIRL FOR THE FIRST TIME." 66 00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:09,858 I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS. 67 00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:11,860 WELL, DO YOU THINK SHE'S TAKING HORSEBACK-RIDING LESSONS? 68 00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:15,864 WAS SHE MENTIONING A GUY WHEN SHE SAID THAT? 69 00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:18,432 SHE SAID SHE HAS A NEW GUY IN HERE LIFE, YEAH. 70 00:04:18,606 --> 00:04:21,173 DO YOU THINK HE'S TEACHING HER HORSEBACK RIDING? 71 00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:22,436 HOW OLD IS SHE? 72 00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:24,089 OH, SHE'S 19. 73 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:27,223 OH, YEAH, HE PROBABLY IS. 74 00:04:27,397 --> 00:04:29,356 - IT'S NOT DANGEROUS, IS IT? - NO. 75 00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:31,401 I WOULDN'T WANT HER TO FALL OFF A HORSE OF ANYTHING. 76 00:04:31,575 --> 00:04:33,142 I DON'T THINK SHE'LL FALL OFF. 77 00:04:33,316 --> 00:04:36,101 OKAY, WELL...IT'S OKAY. IT'S REALLY OKAY. 78 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:39,279 OKAY, WELL, I HOPE SHE DOESN'T GET BUCKED OFF. 79 00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:45,372 OKAY. THANK YOU SO MUCH! 80 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:50,333 IT'S GREAT BEING OLDER. 81 00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:54,119 YOU CAN'T IMAGINE THE HISTORICAL THINGS I'VE SEEN. 82 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,165 YOU KNOW, I CAN REMEMBER 83 00:04:56,339 --> 00:05:00,343 WHEN THE DEAD SEA SCROLLS WERE JUST GETTING SICK. 84 00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:14,618 HI. ARE YOU ROBBIE? NO. 85 00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:15,924 NO? NO, I'M NOT. 86 00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:17,534 OH. OH, I'M SORRY. 87 00:05:17,708 --> 00:05:19,231 I'M SUPPOSED TO MEET SOMEONE IN A JACKET HERE... 88 00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:20,755 OH, REALLY? ...NAMED ROBBIE. 89 00:05:20,929 --> 00:05:22,452 YEAH. IT'S, LIKE, A BLIND DATE. 90 00:05:22,626 --> 00:05:24,280 BUT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR A WHILE, 91 00:05:24,454 --> 00:05:26,543 SO I THINK I GOT STOOD UP. OH. 92 00:05:26,717 --> 00:05:28,502 DO YOU MIND IF I GET A BITE TO EAT 93 00:05:28,676 --> 00:05:30,591 AND JOIN YOU FOR LIKE 10, 15 MINUTES? 94 00:05:30,765 --> 00:05:32,201 - THAT'S TOTALLY FINE WITH ME. - OKAY, GREAT. 95 00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:34,072 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. - OKAY. 96 00:05:47,042 --> 00:05:49,610 OH! I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER. 97 00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:52,264 SO, SHOULD WE GO GET A LITTLE FOOD? 98 00:05:55,311 --> 00:05:56,878 ARE YOU READY? 99 00:06:09,151 --> 00:06:12,850 BETTY, DID YOU THROW A WATER BALLOON AT ME? 100 00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:14,765 WELL, NO. 101 00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:18,726 MY LITTLE PROTéGé AND I HAVE BEEN READING HERE ALL AFTERNOON. 102 00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:20,597 MUST HAVE BEEN REATHA. 103 00:06:22,991 --> 00:06:27,169 YOU'RE A FAST LEARNER. 104 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,915 HI. 105 00:06:34,089 --> 00:06:36,744 SORRY, DO YOU HAVE A RESERVATION TO SIT IN THIS AREA? 106 00:06:36,918 --> 00:06:38,702 - NO. - OH, ARE YOU SURE? 107 00:06:38,876 --> 00:06:40,182 YEAH, I'M SURE. 108 00:06:40,356 --> 00:06:43,054 MAYBE YOU'RE NAME IS ON THE LIST. I DON'T KNOW. 109 00:06:43,228 --> 00:06:45,840 NOT ON HERE, HUH? 110 00:06:47,885 --> 00:06:49,496 OH, JUST GOT HERE. YEAH. 111 00:06:49,670 --> 00:06:51,498 I CAN SQUEEZE YOU IN IN ABOUT TWO WEEKS. 112 00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:55,458 - YOU'RE ABOUT TO LEAVE? - YEAH. 113 00:06:55,632 --> 00:06:57,199 UH-HUH. WELL, THEN I'M AFRAID 114 00:06:57,373 --> 00:06:59,810 I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE NOW. ALL RIGHT. 115 00:06:59,984 --> 00:07:02,813 YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS TO LEAVE OR THERE WILL BE A CHARGE. 116 00:07:02,987 --> 00:07:03,901 REALLY? YES. 117 00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:06,904 10...9...8... 118 00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:10,691 7...6...5... 119 00:07:10,865 --> 00:07:12,301 HAVE A NICE TRIP. 120 00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:21,049 HI, GUYS. HI. 121 00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:24,052 I'M ANN. I'M YOUR WAITRESS. 122 00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:26,794 - HOW ARE YOU TODAY? - GOOD. HOW ARE YOU? 123 00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:29,666 - DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'D LIKE TO DRINK? - STONE IPA. 124 00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,973 - I'M SORRY? - THE STONE IPA. 125 00:07:32,147 --> 00:07:34,149 I DON'T HEAR TOO WELL, SO YOU HAVE TO REALLY SPEAK UP. 126 00:07:34,323 --> 00:07:36,673 WAIT A MINUTE. 127 00:07:38,675 --> 00:07:39,763 YOU'LL HAVE TO TELL ME. 128 00:07:42,984 --> 00:07:44,333 AND DO THAT. 129 00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:45,682 THE STONE IPA, PLEASE. 130 00:07:45,856 --> 00:07:47,554 UH-HUH. OKAY. IF YOU COULD. 131 00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:48,729 HOEGAARDEN. 132 00:07:48,903 --> 00:07:50,165 A GOOSE ISLAND. 133 00:07:50,339 --> 00:07:52,950 AND WHAT ABOUT YOU? BUD LIGHT. 134 00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:56,650 OKAY, I GOT IT -- FOUR COKES. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 135 00:07:56,824 --> 00:08:00,175 ♪ OH-OOH, OH ♪ 136 00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:03,744 ♪ OH-OOH, OH ♪ 137 00:08:03,918 --> 00:08:06,137 EXCUSE ME, SIR. 138 00:08:06,311 --> 00:08:08,923 I'M FATHER BRENNAN FROM THE CHURCH. 139 00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:10,881 THE REASON THAT WE'RE HERE 140 00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:16,321 IS THAT WE BELIEVE THE SON OF THE BEAST IS BORN. 141 00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,759 MM-HMM. DO YOU BELIEVE THAT? 142 00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:20,369 HAVE YOU... 143 00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:23,067 HAVE YOU NOTICED ANYTHING PECULIAR ABOUT YOUR CHILD? 144 00:08:23,241 --> 00:08:24,808 - HUH? - NO. 145 00:08:24,982 --> 00:08:27,419 FOR INSTANCE, I MEAN, IS THERE ANY SPECIAL HAIR 146 00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:29,596 GROWING IN THE BACK OF HIS NECK... 147 00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:31,511 ...OR DOES IT VOMIT A LOT? NO. 148 00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:34,339 DOES IT HAVE THE NUMBER 666 ON HIS HEAD? 149 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,558 NO. 150 00:08:35,732 --> 00:08:37,125 JUST LET ME TAKE A QUICK LOOK. 151 00:08:37,299 --> 00:08:39,431 GOOCHY, GOOCHY, GOOCHY GOO. 152 00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,912 ARE YOU SATAN'S LITTLE BABY, HUH? 153 00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:44,393 OH, GOOCHY, GOOCHY, GOO. 154 00:08:44,567 --> 00:08:46,351 YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST IN CASE, 155 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:49,441 TAKE THIS HOLY WATER AND SPRINKLE IT ON HIM. 156 00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:51,269 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 157 00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:06,328 WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY A DOUGHNUT? 158 00:09:06,502 --> 00:09:07,851 UM, I CAN JUST HAVE IT? 159 00:09:08,025 --> 00:09:09,897 Y-YEAH. TAKE YOUR PICK. 160 00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:11,768 - I'LL JUST GO WITH THIS GUY. THANK YOU. - OKAY. 161 00:09:11,942 --> 00:09:13,988 - DOES IT TASTE GOOD? - UM... 162 00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:15,859 IT'S DECENT, YEAH. 163 00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:17,557 GOOD, GOOD...YEAH. 164 00:09:17,731 --> 00:09:19,036 ...'CAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT? 165 00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:21,256 I FOUND THEM IN THE TRASH OVER THERE, 166 00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:23,911 AND I JUST TOOK OUT A COUPLE CIGARETTE BUTTS AND STUFF. 167 00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:25,173 WHY'D YOU DO THAT? 168 00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:26,522 WELL, I FOUND THEM IN THE TRASH. 169 00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:28,176 WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO ME?! 170 00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:29,438 DO YOU LIKE IT? 171 00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:30,482 NO! OH. 172 00:09:30,657 --> 00:09:31,832 NOT ANYMORE. AW. 173 00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:34,878 I'VE ALREADY EATEN THREE OF THEM. 174 00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:44,018 EXCUSE ME, SIR. HELLO. 175 00:09:44,192 --> 00:09:47,369 COULD YOU HELP ME OUT WITH SOMETHING HERE? 176 00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:50,981 I'VE BEEN ON HOLD -- HERE -- WITH MY DOCTOR, 177 00:09:51,155 --> 00:09:53,027 AND I HAVE TO USE THE RESTROOM. 178 00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:55,725 AND EVERY TIME I WENT IN THERE, I LOST THE SIGNAL, 179 00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:57,031 SO, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 180 00:09:57,205 --> 00:09:58,815 JUST HANG ON. 181 00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:02,950 TAKE A MESSAGE OR SOMETHING IF THEY GET ON THE LINE. 182 00:10:03,124 --> 00:10:05,909 Hello, Richard. Thank you so much for holding. 183 00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:07,650 HE JUST WENT TO THE BATHROOM, 184 00:10:07,824 --> 00:10:09,870 AND HE'LL BE BACK IN A COUPLE OF SECONDS. 185 00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:11,959 Who am I speaking to? 186 00:10:12,133 --> 00:10:14,135 UM, I DON'T KNOW. HE HANDED THE PHONE TO ME. 187 00:10:14,309 --> 00:10:16,311 - I'M JUST HOLDING IT. - What's your name? 188 00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:18,356 MY NAME IS BRANDON. 189 00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:20,968 Brandon, you're holding Richard's phone? 190 00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:23,361 YES. HE JUST HANDED ME THE PHONE. 191 00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:25,886 All right. Listen... 192 00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:29,150 his hands and body have a highly contagious rash. 193 00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:31,892 Anything he has, including the phone you're holding, 194 00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:33,589 is highly contagious. 195 00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:35,809 You're gonna need to wash your hands thoroughly, 196 00:10:35,983 --> 00:10:37,680 call a dermatologist, 197 00:10:37,854 --> 00:10:39,595 and schedule an emergency appointment. 198 00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:41,423 There's going to be a series of lotions, 199 00:10:41,597 --> 00:10:43,773 but you need to get them quickly. 200 00:10:43,947 --> 00:10:45,819 You're sure to be infected. 201 00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:49,431 Hello, Brandon? Brandon, are you there? 202 00:10:49,605 --> 00:10:51,476 Brandon? 203 00:10:53,783 --> 00:10:57,874 PEOPLE WHO TALK DURING MOVIES ARE THE ABSOLUTE WORST. 204 00:10:58,048 --> 00:11:00,311 I TOOK A DATE TO THE MOVIES LAST WEEK, 205 00:11:00,485 --> 00:11:02,662 AND HE KEPT POINTING AT THE SCREEN AND SAYING, 206 00:11:02,836 --> 00:11:05,316 "THERE I AM! THERE I AM!" 207 00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:10,234 GEEZ, CLOONEY, YOU'D THINK YOU'D BE USED TO IT BY NOW. 208 00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:18,329 EXCUSE ME. YOU LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE AN OPINION. 209 00:11:18,503 --> 00:11:21,898 COULD HAVE YOU DO A REALLY QUICK SURVEY FOR ME? 210 00:11:22,072 --> 00:11:23,421 - HOW QUICK? - REALLY QUICK. 211 00:11:23,595 --> 00:11:25,249 HOW OFTEN DO YOU NORMALLY TAKE SURVEYS? 212 00:11:25,423 --> 00:11:27,382 I DON'T. NEVER. 213 00:11:27,556 --> 00:11:30,472 DO YOU PREFER THE TERM "SURVEY" OR "QUESTIONNAIRE"? "QUESTIONNAIRE." 214 00:11:30,646 --> 00:11:32,604 DO YOU THINK THAT THE CLIPBOARD FOR THIS SURVEY 215 00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:35,607 IS TOO LARGE, TOO SMALL, OR JUST RIGHT? IT'S TOO BIG. 216 00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:37,479 ONE VERY LAST QUESTION. 217 00:11:37,653 --> 00:11:39,960 DID YOU EVER TRY A THREESOME? 218 00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:41,788 WOULD YOU LIKE TO? 219 00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:46,662 JUST DON'T LOOK AT ME. 220 00:11:53,103 --> 00:11:55,715 EXCUSE ME. CAN YOU HOLD THESE FOR ME FOR A SECOND? 221 00:11:55,889 --> 00:11:58,326 YEAH, SURE. OKAY. THANK YOU. 222 00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:05,681 I GOT TO GET THESE DRY. 223 00:12:05,855 --> 00:12:07,335 THANK YOU. 224 00:12:12,209 --> 00:12:13,428 THINK THIS IS SEXY? 225 00:12:16,126 --> 00:12:18,346 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 226 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:21,479 OKAY, BYE-BYE. 227 00:12:21,653 --> 00:12:24,482 ♪ SHE DON'T WEAR NO FROWN ♪ 228 00:12:28,312 --> 00:12:31,141 WHEN I HEARD ABOUT ALL THESE TELEVISION SHOWS 229 00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:33,100 ON THE AIR TODAY THAT ARE ABOUT 230 00:12:33,274 --> 00:12:37,539 "HYPERSEXUAL BEINGS THAT DON'T AGE AND LIVE FOREVER," 231 00:12:37,713 --> 00:12:39,584 I WAS SURPRISED TO FIND OUT 232 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,891 THAT ALL THESE SHOWS ARE ABOUT VAMPIRES. 233 00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:47,636 I THOUGHT THEY WERE FINALLY MAKING "THE BETTY WHITE STORY." 234 00:12:55,687 --> 00:12:57,254 COULD I STOP YOU FOR A SECOND? 235 00:12:57,428 --> 00:12:59,691 YEAH. MY HUSBAND JUST DIED. 236 00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:02,042 YOU'RE HUSBAND JUST -- YEAH. 237 00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:03,260 MY HUSBAND DIED. 238 00:13:03,434 --> 00:13:04,871 DON'T FEEL BAD, BECAUSE 239 00:13:05,045 --> 00:13:06,524 HE WAS A DOG...WAIT. 240 00:13:06,698 --> 00:13:09,527 ...AND ALL HE CARED ABOUT WAS GOOD-LOOKING WOMEN. 241 00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:11,660 ANYWAY, COULD YOU HELP ME DO THIS? 242 00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:13,531 SO, YOU WANT TO DUMP THIS? 243 00:13:13,705 --> 00:13:15,403 YEAH. IF A HOT GIRL LIKE YOU WOULD DUMP THESE -- 244 00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:17,579 JUST HELP ME DUMP THESE ASHES, 245 00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:19,537 I COULD HAVE SOME CLOSURE. 246 00:13:19,711 --> 00:13:21,496 PLEASE. 247 00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:23,672 OH, PLEASE. HE WAS AWFUL. OH, NO, NO, NO! 248 00:13:23,846 --> 00:13:25,848 COME ON. COME ON. YEAH. 249 00:13:26,022 --> 00:13:27,589 YEAH. OKAY. 250 00:13:27,763 --> 00:13:31,027 - NO! NO, NO, NO. - GOODBYE, HARRY. 251 00:13:31,201 --> 00:13:33,682 MAY YOU REST IN HELL. 252 00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:35,162 OH! 253 00:13:35,336 --> 00:13:37,294 YOU'RE SWELL. 254 00:13:40,994 --> 00:13:44,040 YOU'RE THE BEST! 255 00:13:46,521 --> 00:13:49,263 ♪ LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA ♪ 256 00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:57,793 COULD YOU HELP ME FOR A SECOND? 257 00:13:57,967 --> 00:14:01,057 - SURE. - I'M HAVING A PROBLEM STARTING MY SCOOTER. 258 00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:03,843 THE THING IS, I'VE HAD SO MANY DUIs...YEAH. 259 00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:06,236 ...THAT IT HAS A BREATHALYZER ON IT, 260 00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:10,284 SO THIS BAD BOY WON'T START UNLESS IT'S GOT A CLEAN TEST. 261 00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:14,418 SO, IF YOU COULD JUST BLOW ON THAT, AND I'LL PRESS THIS. 262 00:14:14,592 --> 00:14:15,767 WE'LL SEE WHAT WE GOT. 263 00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:16,812 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 264 00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:18,988 YEAH! 265 00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:20,120 - CAN YOU DRIVE? - GREAT. 266 00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:22,296 NOW I'M GOOD. I'M GOOD TO GO. 267 00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:23,863 ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN DRIVE? 268 00:14:24,037 --> 00:14:26,604 YEAH, I THINK SO. YOU NEED A LIFT SOMEWHERE? 269 00:14:26,778 --> 00:14:28,345 SURE. - ALL RIGHT. 270 00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:31,000 OH, OKAY. 271 00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:32,610 MAKE WAY. 272 00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:35,831 WE COULD STOP FOR A LITTLE DRINK ON THE WAY. 273 00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:42,403 EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME. 274 00:14:42,577 --> 00:14:45,493 I WAS OUT HERE LAST NIGHT, AND I GOT KIND OF DRUNK, 275 00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,016 YOU KNOW, AND I WENT HOME WITH THIS GUY. 276 00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:48,365 AND I DON'T REMEMBER WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE, 277 00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:50,628 BUT HE SENT ME THIS...PIC. 278 00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:52,195 IS THIS YOU? 279 00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:54,371 WE CAN COMPARE, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 280 00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:56,765 PLEASE. I'M ASIAN. THAT'S DEFINITELY NOT ME. 281 00:14:56,939 --> 00:14:58,506 YOU SURE? YEAH. 282 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:01,204 - I WISH IT WERE, THOUGH. - THAT'S HOT. 283 00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:03,032 OKAY. 284 00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:07,471 OH, I FEEL YOU! 285 00:15:13,738 --> 00:15:15,653 HEY, ROLLERBLADER. 286 00:15:15,827 --> 00:15:18,004 HEY. HERE. 287 00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:19,396 COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. 288 00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:22,530 IT'S FOR THE RACE. GO, GO, GO! 289 00:15:22,704 --> 00:15:25,141 FASTER, FASTER. 290 00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:30,581 KEEP GOING. DON'T LET US DOWN. 291 00:15:30,755 --> 00:15:32,322 GO AHEAD. GO. GO! 292 00:15:32,496 --> 00:15:34,324 KEEP GOING. 293 00:15:35,238 --> 00:15:36,761 YEAH. COME ON. 294 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:40,330 WE'RE GONNA WIN. KEEP GOING, MAN. 295 00:15:42,506 --> 00:15:44,334 OH. EXCUSE ME. 296 00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:45,727 YOU'VE GOT THESE BANANAS. 297 00:15:45,901 --> 00:15:47,250 I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THEM. 298 00:15:47,424 --> 00:15:50,210 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT -- I'M GONNA HAVE YOURS, 299 00:15:50,384 --> 00:15:53,039 AND I'LL TRADE YOU FOR THESE EGGS, OKAY? 300 00:15:53,213 --> 00:15:55,650 I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. THANK YOU. 301 00:16:10,273 --> 00:16:13,189 HI. YOU HAVE KIDS? DO I? 302 00:16:13,363 --> 00:16:14,756 YEAH? WHY? 303 00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:16,236 WELL, IF YOU HAVE KIDS, 304 00:16:16,410 --> 00:16:18,020 DON'T SPEND A LOT OF TIME WITH THEM 305 00:16:18,194 --> 00:16:19,413 'CAUSE THEY'RE GONNA GROW UP AWFUL ANYWAY. 306 00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:21,023 I KNOW THAT FROM EXPERIENCE. 307 00:16:21,197 --> 00:16:23,025 - DON'T SPEND A LOT OF TIME WITH THEM? - NO. 308 00:16:23,199 --> 00:16:24,505 JUST DO OTHER THINGS. 309 00:16:24,679 --> 00:16:27,290 GO TO BARS, YOU KNOW? - WHY? 310 00:16:27,464 --> 00:16:29,075 'CAUSE THEY TURNED OUT AWFUL ANYWAY. 311 00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:31,338 - NO, I HAVE GOOD PARENTS. - YEAH? 312 00:16:31,512 --> 00:16:33,862 - THEY SPEND TIME WITH YOU? - A LOT. 313 00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:35,298 - REALLY? - YEAH. 314 00:16:35,472 --> 00:16:36,560 AND LOOK AT YOU NOW. 315 00:16:36,734 --> 00:16:37,866 I'M GREAT. 316 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,433 REALLY? YES. 317 00:16:39,607 --> 00:16:41,739 THAT'S NOT MY EXPERIENCE. 318 00:16:55,579 --> 00:16:59,148 AS A SENIOR, IT'S SO IMPORTANT TO PRACTICE SELF-DEFENSE 319 00:16:59,322 --> 00:17:01,107 SO YOU CAN PROTECT YOURSELF FROM PREDATORS. 320 00:17:03,152 --> 00:17:07,896 NO, I WILL NOT WIRE MONEY TO YOUR NIGERIAN BANK ACCOUNT! 321 00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:10,507 EXCUSE ME. 322 00:17:10,681 --> 00:17:12,292 CAN YOU TEXT SOMETHING FOR ME VERY QUICK? 323 00:17:12,466 --> 00:17:13,554 YEAH, YEAH. OH, THANKS. 324 00:17:13,728 --> 00:17:15,382 - I DO IT ALL THE TIME. - OH, OKAY. 325 00:17:15,556 --> 00:17:17,862 I CAN'T SEE WITHOUT MY GLASSES. OKAY. 326 00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,038 "I HIT THE TARGET." 327 00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:21,170 "I HIT THE TARGET"?YES. 328 00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:22,824 OKAY. "IT'S ELIMINATED." 329 00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:24,521 "IT'S ELIMINATED. "YEAH. 330 00:17:24,695 --> 00:17:28,264 GET RID OF THAT IN 30 SECONDS 331 00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:29,526 'CAUSE THEY'LL BE TRACKING YOU. 332 00:17:39,841 --> 00:17:45,238 ♪ YOU BETTER RUN, YOU BETTER RU-U-U-U-N ♪ 333 00:17:49,764 --> 00:17:52,332 EXCUSE ME. WILL YOU DO ME A FAVOR? 334 00:17:52,506 --> 00:17:53,985 WILL YOU HOLD THIS FOR JUST ONE SECOND? 335 00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,987 I FORGOT MY CREDIT CARD IN THERE. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 336 00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:58,381 - SURE. - OKAY. YOU GOT IT? 337 00:17:58,555 --> 00:18:00,470 THANK YOU. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 338 00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:21,100 EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME, MA'AM. 339 00:18:22,057 --> 00:18:23,928 MY SON THINKS I SHOULD START DATING AGAIN, 340 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,061 SO I WAS WONDERING, 341 00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:28,194 COULD YOU JUST PASS OUT SOME OF THESE FLIERS FOR ME? 342 00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:31,197 UM...JUST HAND THEM OUT TO ANY GUYS YOU KNOW. 343 00:18:31,371 --> 00:18:33,286 I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN DO THAT. I'M SORRY. 344 00:18:33,460 --> 00:18:35,375 'CAUSE I'M JUST --IF YOU COULD JUST TAKE TWO, 345 00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:37,855 MAYBE PUT THEM UP ON THE TREE FOR ME. 346 00:18:38,029 --> 00:18:39,466 WELL, CAN'T YOU DO THAT? 347 00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:41,642 OH, I AM, BUT SEE HOW MANY I HAVE? 348 00:18:41,816 --> 00:18:43,557 JUST TAKE A COUPLE, OKAY? 349 00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:45,776 I'M NOT SURE WHAT I'M GONNA DO WITH IT. 350 00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:47,430 WELL, JUST MAKE SURE, NO FATTIES, 351 00:18:47,604 --> 00:18:49,954 AND I LIKE THEM AROUND 24, 25 YEARS OLD. 352 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,218 THAT'LL BE GREAT. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 353 00:18:52,392 --> 00:18:54,655 - I DON'T KNOW -- HERE. - I APPRECIATE IT. 354 00:18:54,829 --> 00:18:56,744 THANK YOU. YOU'LL DO GREAT! 355 00:19:09,539 --> 00:19:11,846 - CAN YOU HELP ME? - YES. 356 00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:14,153 - WHAT HAPPENED? - I LOST MY CONTACT -- 357 00:19:14,327 --> 00:19:16,981 MY CONTACT LENS. YEAH. 358 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,114 YOU SEE IT? 359 00:19:19,288 --> 00:19:21,421 POPPED OUT, HUH? YEAH. 360 00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:31,431 YEAH. MM. 361 00:19:31,605 --> 00:19:33,084 WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 362 00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:35,043 - WHAT'S GOING ON? - I DROPPED MY CONTACT. 363 00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:37,654 YOU DON'T WEAR CONTACT LENSES! 364 00:19:37,828 --> 00:19:39,047 WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? 365 00:19:39,221 --> 00:19:41,441 - SHE HAS 20/20 VISION. - OH, I DON'T! 366 00:19:41,615 --> 00:19:43,182 ARE YOU UP TO THAT AGAIN? 367 00:19:43,356 --> 00:19:44,531 WELL, THEY HAVE GREAT BUTTS. 368 00:19:49,449 --> 00:19:53,104 AND NOW "BETTY WHITE'S PEARLS OF WISDOM." 369 00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:56,630 DON'T EVER TATTOO A BODY PART THAT MIGHT SAG. 370 00:19:58,588 --> 00:20:03,419 AND TRUST ME, IF YOU LIVE LONG ENOUGH, EVERYTHING SAGS. 371 00:20:03,593 --> 00:20:07,858 MY FRIEND USED TO HAVE A DRAGON TATTOOED ON HER BACK. 372 00:20:08,032 --> 00:20:10,687 NOW IT'S A GECKO. 373 00:20:12,646 --> 00:20:13,603 OH, BUP, BUP! 374 00:20:13,777 --> 00:20:14,996 OH! NO, NO, NO! 375 00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:17,520 GO! GO! GO! GO! 376 00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:23,134 REQUESTING BACKUP. I HAVE A WI-FI PIRATE. 377 00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:24,484 BUP, BUP, BUP, BUP, BUP! 378 00:20:24,658 --> 00:20:26,660 BUP, BUP, BUP, BUP, BUP. 379 00:20:28,139 --> 00:20:29,358 WHY'D YOU DO THAT? 380 00:20:32,187 --> 00:20:33,493 Hello, Brandon? 381 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:40,761 DON'T TOUCH THAT. 26829

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