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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,123 --> 00:00:21,504 EXCUSE ME. 2 00:00:21,573 --> 00:00:22,815 DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE RAVE IS? 3 00:00:22,884 --> 00:00:24,679 YEAH. 4 00:00:24,748 --> 00:00:27,510 I GOT THIS FLYER, AND I CAME EARLY. 5 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,617 I'M READY TO GO SKANKING. LET'S GO! 6 00:00:31,686 --> 00:00:33,516 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! 7 00:00:33,585 --> 00:00:34,862 WE HAVE A RAVE, 8 00:00:34,931 --> 00:00:36,484 AND IT'S A WONDERFUL RAVING PARTY. 9 00:00:36,553 --> 00:00:37,899 Woman: WE'D LIKE TO TAKE YOU. 10 00:00:37,968 --> 00:00:39,901 COME ON. JOIN US. COME ON. 11 00:00:58,541 --> 00:01:00,198 NAILED IT. 12 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,313 AH-CHOO! 13 00:01:27,673 --> 00:01:29,365 OOH! 14 00:01:41,549 --> 00:01:44,034 HELLO, THERE. I'M BETTY WHITE. 15 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,451 AND THIS IS "OFF THEIR ROCKERS." 16 00:01:46,520 --> 00:01:50,282 A LOT OF PEOPLE ASK ME WHERE I GET MY ENERGY FROM. 17 00:01:50,351 --> 00:01:53,734 WELL, THAT'S EASY. I DO A LOT OF THIS. 18 00:01:56,426 --> 00:01:58,877 OH, THANK YOU, DEAR. 19 00:01:58,946 --> 00:02:00,223 ALL RIGHT. 20 00:02:00,292 --> 00:02:02,570 ALL RIGHT, LADIES. SLOWLY. 21 00:02:02,639 --> 00:02:04,952 UP... 22 00:02:05,021 --> 00:02:07,472 AND DOWN. 23 00:02:07,541 --> 00:02:08,542 MMM. 24 00:02:08,611 --> 00:02:09,991 UP... 25 00:02:16,032 --> 00:02:18,034 LIKE YOUR HOODIE. 26 00:02:18,103 --> 00:02:20,554 IT WOULD LOOK BETTER ON MY BEDROOM FLOOR. 27 00:02:30,564 --> 00:02:34,947 MISS, I HAVE SOMETHING I'D LIKE YOU TO TRY. 28 00:02:35,016 --> 00:02:38,158 IT'S AN ENERGY DRINK DEVELOPED BY MY SON-IN-LAW. 29 00:02:38,227 --> 00:02:40,850 100% ORGANIC. 30 00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:42,438 YOU'RE GONNA LOVE IT. 31 00:02:42,507 --> 00:02:43,611 - WHAT'S IN IT? - TRY IT. 32 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:45,579 GOOD STUFF. 33 00:02:45,648 --> 00:02:48,513 SPECIAL INGREDIENT -- LITTLE CRUNCHY, RIGHT? 34 00:02:48,582 --> 00:02:50,170 YEAH. 35 00:02:50,239 --> 00:02:53,000 GROUND-UP SCORPIONS. 36 00:02:53,069 --> 00:02:54,519 SCORPIONS? 37 00:02:54,588 --> 00:02:56,452 SCORPIONS. YOU KNOW. 38 00:02:56,521 --> 00:02:57,625 REAL SCORPIONS? 39 00:02:57,694 --> 00:03:00,318 SCORPIONS ARE A GREAT SOURCE OF PROTEIN. 40 00:03:00,387 --> 00:03:01,733 YEAH. 41 00:03:01,802 --> 00:03:02,872 I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 42 00:03:02,941 --> 00:03:04,701 I CAN'T DRINK IT MYSELF. 43 00:03:04,770 --> 00:03:07,704 I FELT GREAT, BUT THEN THE RASH AND THE DIARRHEA -- 44 00:03:07,773 --> 00:03:09,189 I JUST DON'T TOUCH IT. 45 00:03:12,882 --> 00:03:14,573 SEE HOW YOU FEEL IN ABOUT A HALF-HOUR. 46 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:26,689 EXCUSE ME. COULD YOU HELP ME FOR A SECOND? 47 00:03:26,758 --> 00:03:29,139 WELL, I CAN'T READ THIS TEXT. 48 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,210 I DON'T HAVE MY GLASSES. 49 00:03:30,279 --> 00:03:31,487 OH, OKAY. 50 00:03:31,556 --> 00:03:34,214 IT SAYS, "GET HOME AND MAKE --" WHAT? 51 00:03:34,283 --> 00:03:36,768 "GET HOME AND MAKE MY DINNER, WOMAN"? 52 00:03:36,837 --> 00:03:39,253 - ARE YOU KIDDING ME? - THAT'S AWFUL. 53 00:03:39,322 --> 00:03:40,496 IT'S AWFUL. YOU HAVE TO TEXT BACK FOR ME. 54 00:03:40,565 --> 00:03:42,187 OKAY. TELL HIM THIS. 55 00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:46,329 "ASK THAT FLOOZY TWO DOORS DOWN TO MAKE DINNER FOR YOU " 56 00:03:46,398 --> 00:03:47,572 JUST SAY -- YEAH. 57 00:03:47,641 --> 00:03:49,263 REALLY? YES, REALLY. 58 00:03:49,332 --> 00:03:51,334 - WHO IS THIS PERSON? - WELL, IT'S MY HUSBAND. 59 00:03:51,403 --> 00:03:54,751 I WANT YOU TO SAY, "I'M HAVING DINNER WITH MORTY." 60 00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:56,615 WELL, I SAID, "ASK THAT FLOOZY TWO DOORS DOWN 61 00:03:56,684 --> 00:03:58,030 "TO MAKE YOUR DINNER 62 00:03:58,099 --> 00:03:59,066 I'M HAVING DINNER WITH MORTY." 63 00:03:59,135 --> 00:04:01,655 I GOT TO GO. OKAY. I'M SO -- 64 00:04:01,724 --> 00:04:02,725 OH, YOU WERE FABULOUS. 65 00:04:02,794 --> 00:04:04,174 YOU MIGHT HAVE SAVED MY MARRIAGE. 66 00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,624 THANK YOU. 67 00:04:07,143 --> 00:04:08,351 THANK YOU, CUTIE! 68 00:04:45,457 --> 00:04:47,942 ARE YOU GONNA TAKE THE TWO SHOTS LIKE I DID, 69 00:04:48,011 --> 00:04:49,910 OR ARE YOU JUST GONNA HIT ME OUT? 70 00:04:49,979 --> 00:04:52,119 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 71 00:04:57,642 --> 00:05:00,817 YOU'LL NEVER WIN NOW. 72 00:05:00,886 --> 00:05:02,819 WOMEN DON'T HAVE THE BALLS TO PLAY THIS GAME. 73 00:05:06,996 --> 00:05:08,446 OOH! 74 00:05:08,515 --> 00:05:10,413 AND NOW NEITHER DO YOU. 75 00:05:25,532 --> 00:05:27,499 THANK YOU! 76 00:05:27,568 --> 00:05:30,088 I'M GETTING MARRIED IN SEPTEMBER, AND I'M GOING -- 77 00:05:30,157 --> 00:05:32,815 OOH! THANK YOU! 78 00:05:32,884 --> 00:05:35,645 LISTEN, I'M ON MY BACHELORETTE SCAVENGER HUNT. 79 00:05:35,714 --> 00:05:37,440 AND I'VE HAD TO GET PEOPLE TO -- 80 00:05:37,509 --> 00:05:40,892 HOT GUYS -- TO BITE OFF MY CANDIES. 81 00:05:40,961 --> 00:05:42,203 I WAS WONDERING IF YOUR HOT GUY 82 00:05:42,272 --> 00:05:43,722 WOULD HELP ME WITH MY BACHELORETTE PARTY. 83 00:05:43,791 --> 00:05:45,828 OH, FANTASTIC. 84 00:05:49,452 --> 00:05:51,972 OH, HE'S GONNA GET ONE. OKAY. 85 00:05:52,041 --> 00:05:54,492 OH, FANTASTIC. 86 00:05:54,561 --> 00:05:56,942 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 87 00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:03,708 I HAVE TO GET VERY HOT GUYS TO BITE MY CANDY OFF 88 00:06:03,777 --> 00:06:05,641 AND THEN SIGN AND PROVE THAT THEY DID. 89 00:06:05,710 --> 00:06:09,265 WOULD YOU BITE ONE OF MY CANDIES OFF? 90 00:06:09,334 --> 00:06:12,061 WOULD YOU WRITE A TRAMP STAMP ON MY BACK? 91 00:06:12,130 --> 00:06:13,821 YEAH. SO, WHAT IS YOUR NAME? 92 00:06:15,133 --> 00:06:16,790 THAT'S GREAT. 93 00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:30,010 I RECENTLY NOTICED THAT LUXURY WATER COMPANIES 94 00:06:30,079 --> 00:06:33,600 ARE USING ADDITIVES, OVERCHARGING THE PUBLIC, 95 00:06:33,669 --> 00:06:36,326 HIRING A CELEBRITY SPOKESPERSON, 96 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:39,191 AND THEN CALLING THEMSELVES SMART. 97 00:06:39,260 --> 00:06:41,055 SO I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, 98 00:06:41,124 --> 00:06:45,681 WHY NOT CUT OUT THE MIDDLEMAN AND GIVE THE PUBLIC A LOW PRICE, 99 00:06:45,750 --> 00:06:49,443 LOCAL, ADDITIVE-FREE WATER BOTTLED AT THE SOURCE? 100 00:06:49,512 --> 00:06:51,790 NOW, I CALL THAT... 101 00:06:51,859 --> 00:06:53,689 GENIUS. 102 00:07:02,836 --> 00:07:03,768 HEY, DORK. 103 00:07:03,837 --> 00:07:06,253 THANKS FOR THE GUMMIE BEARS. 104 00:07:06,322 --> 00:07:08,048 NOW BUY SOME YOURSELF. 105 00:07:22,925 --> 00:07:26,307 EXCUSE ME. DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG THIS PIER'S BEEN HERE? 106 00:07:26,376 --> 00:07:29,759 LIKE, WHEN DID THE WOOD BECOME THE... 107 00:07:29,828 --> 00:07:32,279 CAN YOU HEAR ME? 108 00:07:32,348 --> 00:07:33,970 I'M SORRY. WHAT DID YOU SAY? 109 00:07:34,039 --> 00:07:35,627 DO YOU KNOW WHEN THE WOODEN PIER WAS TAKEN DOWN 110 00:07:35,696 --> 00:07:36,973 AND THEY BUILT THE -- 111 00:07:37,042 --> 00:07:38,872 OH, THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART. 112 00:07:41,081 --> 00:07:43,290 OH, I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY. SAY AGAIN? 113 00:07:43,359 --> 00:07:45,603 I SAID, DO YOU KNOW WHEN THE WOOD PIER WAS TAKEN DOWN? 114 00:07:45,672 --> 00:07:47,777 OOH. OOH. AH, YEAH. 115 00:07:47,846 --> 00:07:50,884 OH. OH, MY GOD. 116 00:07:50,953 --> 00:07:52,161 THIS IS MY JAM. 117 00:07:52,230 --> 00:07:53,783 WHAT IS IT? THIS IS MY JAM. 118 00:07:53,852 --> 00:07:55,026 OH. IT'S MY JAM! 119 00:07:55,095 --> 00:07:56,821 OH! YES! 120 00:07:56,890 --> 00:07:59,168 YES! 121 00:07:59,237 --> 00:08:03,931 WHOO! WHOO! WHOO! WHOO! WHOO! WHOO! WHOO! WHOO! 122 00:08:07,970 --> 00:08:10,317 COULD YOU HELP ME OUT FOR A MINUTE 123 00:08:10,386 --> 00:08:11,939 AND TAKE A LITTLE VIDEO? 124 00:08:12,008 --> 00:08:13,320 UH... 125 00:08:13,389 --> 00:08:14,632 IT'LL JUST TAKE A MINUTE. HERE, STAND OVER HERE. 126 00:08:14,701 --> 00:08:16,530 OKAY. 127 00:08:18,359 --> 00:08:21,673 - HI. - WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 128 00:08:23,054 --> 00:08:25,505 THIS LAST YEAR THAT WE'VE BEEN TOGETHER 129 00:08:25,574 --> 00:08:28,266 HAS BEEN BY FAR THE GREATEST YEAR OF MY LIFE, 130 00:08:28,335 --> 00:08:31,649 AND THAT'S WHY I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION TO ASK YOU. 131 00:08:31,718 --> 00:08:33,133 - REALLY? - YEAH. 132 00:08:34,203 --> 00:08:35,549 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 133 00:08:35,618 --> 00:08:38,897 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT'S GOING ON? 134 00:08:38,966 --> 00:08:40,071 ARE YOU PROPOSING TO ME? 135 00:08:40,140 --> 00:08:41,106 YEAH. 136 00:08:41,175 --> 00:08:43,592 I TOLD YOU AT THE VERY BEGINNING 137 00:08:43,661 --> 00:08:47,181 THAT THIS WAS A PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP AND THAT'S IT. 138 00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:49,045 HE'S ASKING ME TO MARRY HIM? 139 00:08:49,114 --> 00:08:50,046 I'M SORRY. 140 00:08:50,115 --> 00:08:51,531 NO. RECORD THIS. 141 00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,567 NO, THANKS! 142 00:08:53,636 --> 00:08:56,087 I DON'T THINK THAT WENT TOO WELL. 143 00:08:56,156 --> 00:08:58,089 DID I DO ANYTHING WRONG? 144 00:08:58,158 --> 00:08:59,504 UM... 145 00:08:59,573 --> 00:09:00,850 OH, MY GOD. 146 00:09:00,919 --> 00:09:02,265 THANK YOU. 147 00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:04,440 HEY, HONEY! 148 00:09:14,795 --> 00:09:17,936 BETTY, I AM SO FRUSTRATED. 149 00:09:18,005 --> 00:09:19,144 WHAT'S WRONG? 150 00:09:19,213 --> 00:09:22,044 I SENT A TEXT TO THIS GUY I REALLY LIKE, 151 00:09:22,113 --> 00:09:24,494 AND HE HASN'T TEXTED ME BACK YET. 152 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:27,290 WELL, STOP CHECKING YOUR PHONE EVERY TWO SECONDS. 153 00:09:27,359 --> 00:09:30,224 YOU'RE GONNA MAKE YOURSELF SICK WITH TEXT-PECTATIONS. 154 00:09:30,293 --> 00:09:33,089 WELL, WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? 155 00:09:33,158 --> 00:09:34,435 OH, GO FOR A JOG. 156 00:09:34,504 --> 00:09:36,748 READ A BOOK. WATCH A MOVIE. 157 00:09:36,817 --> 00:09:38,508 DO ANYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF 158 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,890 TO GET YOUR MIND OFF WAITING FOR HIS TEXT. 159 00:09:40,959 --> 00:09:42,305 WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU DO 160 00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:44,756 TO GET YOUR MIND OFF WAITING FOR A TEXT? 161 00:09:44,825 --> 00:09:46,655 I'D TEXT MY BACKUP GUY. 162 00:09:46,724 --> 00:09:50,175 AND THEN SUDDENLY THE FIRST GUY TEXTS ME BACK. 163 00:09:50,244 --> 00:09:53,420 LIKE -- LIKE A KARMIC RESPONSE. 164 00:09:53,489 --> 00:09:55,871 NO, LIKE A JEALOUS RESPONSE. 165 00:09:55,940 --> 00:09:58,528 THEY'RE BEST FRIENDS. 166 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:01,739 AND MY BACKUP GUY CAN'T KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT. 167 00:10:05,639 --> 00:10:08,297 RUN! RUN! HURRY! 168 00:10:08,366 --> 00:10:11,127 COME ON! YOU CAN DO IT! 169 00:10:11,196 --> 00:10:12,681 YOU CAN DO IT! YES! 170 00:10:15,718 --> 00:10:18,238 COME ON! YOU CAN DO IT! 171 00:10:18,307 --> 00:10:19,791 COME ON! COME ON! 172 00:10:32,355 --> 00:10:34,875 YOU CAUGHT US IN THE MIDDLE OF A PITCH MEETING. 173 00:10:34,944 --> 00:10:36,705 I'M LOOKING FOR A NEW PROJECT. 174 00:10:36,774 --> 00:10:38,327 HOW ABOUT THIS ONE, BETTY? 175 00:10:38,396 --> 00:10:40,018 YOU PLAY THIS GORGEOUS WOMAN 176 00:10:40,087 --> 00:10:43,643 THAT HAS TO TAKE DOWN THE WHOLE RUSSIAN MOB TO SAVE HER FAMILY. 177 00:10:43,712 --> 00:10:45,230 NO. TOO BORING. 178 00:10:45,299 --> 00:10:47,198 Woman: HOW ABOUT THIS? 179 00:10:47,267 --> 00:10:51,443 IT'S A HEROIC STORY OF THE FIRST WOMAN TO CLIMB MT. EVEREST. 180 00:10:51,512 --> 00:10:53,998 NO. I'M LOOKING FOR A CHALLENGE. 181 00:10:54,067 --> 00:10:56,690 Man: HERE'S A SCRIPT THAT'S JUST CALLED 182 00:10:56,759 --> 00:11:00,521 "THE UNTITLED ROMANTIC GEORGE CLOONEY PROJECT." 183 00:11:00,590 --> 00:11:02,040 OH, LET ME SEE THAT. 184 00:11:04,111 --> 00:11:05,872 MM! 185 00:11:05,941 --> 00:11:07,977 I LIKE WHAT I'M SEEING HERE. 186 00:11:08,046 --> 00:11:10,221 WHAT? 187 00:11:10,290 --> 00:11:12,913 IT'S IMPORTANT FOR ME TO STRETCH. 188 00:11:12,982 --> 00:11:16,399 YOU KNOW, AS AN ARTIST. 189 00:11:21,991 --> 00:11:23,268 EXCUSE ME. 190 00:11:23,337 --> 00:11:26,133 HAVE YOU EVER HAD A PROBLEM WITH A BULLY? 191 00:11:26,202 --> 00:11:27,514 I HAVEN'T. 192 00:11:27,583 --> 00:11:30,862 WELL, I'VE BEEN TALKING TO MY GRANDSON HERE, OKAY? 193 00:11:30,931 --> 00:11:32,208 HE'S HAVING A PROBLEM, 194 00:11:32,277 --> 00:11:35,418 AND WHAT I TOLD HIM WAS THAT YOU CAN'T TALK TO A BULLY. 195 00:11:35,487 --> 00:11:37,455 YOU HAVE TO STAND UP TO A BULLY. 196 00:11:37,524 --> 00:11:39,181 AND I'M TELLING HIM THAT HE'S GOT TO GO IN THERE 197 00:11:39,250 --> 00:11:42,909 AND HE'S GOT TO HIT THAT KID IN THE SOLAR PLEXUS -- 198 00:11:42,978 --> 00:11:43,944 NO? YOU DON'T THINK SO? 199 00:11:44,013 --> 00:11:46,464 OH, YOU'RE A TEACHER. 200 00:11:46,533 --> 00:11:47,741 SO THEY KNOW NOT TO MESS WITH YOU. 201 00:11:47,810 --> 00:11:50,192 I DON'T KNOW. 202 00:11:50,261 --> 00:11:52,125 I'M OLD-SCHOOL. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 203 00:11:52,194 --> 00:11:53,920 I WAS BULLIED WHEN I WAS A KID, 204 00:11:53,989 --> 00:11:56,785 AND THE ONLY WAY I STOPPED IT WAS I WENT UP TO THAT KID, 205 00:11:56,854 --> 00:11:58,683 AND I HIT HIM IN THE SOLAR PLEXUS, 206 00:11:58,752 --> 00:11:59,960 AND THEN I TOOK HIS EYE, 207 00:12:00,029 --> 00:12:02,480 AND I GAVE HIM THE EYEBALL GOUGE, 208 00:12:02,549 --> 00:12:05,310 AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNEW, I HAD RESPECT. 209 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,244 YOU KNOW WHAT? 210 00:12:08,313 --> 00:12:10,730 LET'S GO FIND THIS KID AND DO SOME ASS-KICKING. 211 00:12:10,799 --> 00:12:13,249 COME ON. LET'S GO. 212 00:12:37,860 --> 00:12:41,139 COULD I INTRUDE FOR A SECOND? 213 00:12:41,208 --> 00:12:44,073 WHICH ONE OF THESE DO YOU LIKE FOR MY WIFE? 214 00:12:45,523 --> 00:12:48,491 I'M GONNA TRY IT ON. SHE'S MY SIZE. 215 00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,252 I'M GONNA TRY IT ON JUST SO I MAKE SURE I GET THE RIGHT ONE. 216 00:12:50,321 --> 00:12:51,943 OH, MY GOD. 217 00:12:52,012 --> 00:12:55,257 I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS. 218 00:12:57,569 --> 00:12:58,985 AND IF THIS WORKS -- 219 00:12:59,054 --> 00:13:02,574 'CAUSE SHE'S -- YOU KNOW, SHE'S NOT SVELTE. 220 00:13:08,063 --> 00:13:10,134 THAT'S CLOSE. 221 00:13:10,203 --> 00:13:11,273 I'M GONNA TAKE THIS. 222 00:13:11,342 --> 00:13:12,550 I'D TAKE THAT ONE OVER THE BLUE ONE. 223 00:13:12,619 --> 00:13:14,276 - OVER THE BLUE ONE. - YEAH. 224 00:13:14,345 --> 00:13:16,243 THANKS A MILLION. I APPRECIATE IT. 225 00:13:20,765 --> 00:13:23,181 I DON'T KNOW WHAT JUST HAPPENED. 226 00:13:31,224 --> 00:13:33,813 CAN I SIT HERE A MINUTE? 227 00:13:33,882 --> 00:13:35,953 I WAS READING MY HOROSCOPE TODAY, 228 00:13:36,022 --> 00:13:38,438 AND IT SAID I WOULD ENCOUNTER SOMETHING 229 00:13:38,507 --> 00:13:41,096 REALLY, REALLY SPECIAL, SO, THERE YOU ARE. 230 00:13:42,649 --> 00:13:47,930 I JUST GOT TO TELL YOU, I HAVE A CRUSH ON YOU. 231 00:13:47,999 --> 00:13:51,416 YOU DON'T HAVE TO -- YOU DON'T HAVE TO AGREE OR ANYTHING. 232 00:13:51,485 --> 00:13:53,384 I JUST WANT TO JUST POUR OUT MY HEART 233 00:13:53,453 --> 00:13:55,800 BECAUSE IT'S A WONDERFUL DAY AND I FEEL SO ALIVE. 234 00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:58,147 I FEEL SO WONDERFUL THAT I JUST HAD TO SAY THIS. 235 00:13:58,216 --> 00:13:59,666 AND YOU KNOW THE WONDERFUL THING IS 236 00:13:59,735 --> 00:14:03,187 THAT WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON WHERE WE'RE THE OPPOSITE SEX. 237 00:14:03,256 --> 00:14:04,636 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK. 238 00:14:04,705 --> 00:14:07,294 I WANT YOU TO KNOW I'M A VERY SKILLED LOVER. 239 00:14:07,363 --> 00:14:08,330 OKAY. 240 00:14:08,399 --> 00:14:10,539 I REALLY AND TRULY AM. 241 00:14:10,608 --> 00:14:11,816 IS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND? 242 00:14:14,163 --> 00:14:15,889 YOUR HUSBAND. WELL, THAT'S OKAY. 243 00:14:15,958 --> 00:14:18,271 I MEAN, YOU KNOW, THERE'S NOTHING WRONG 244 00:14:18,340 --> 00:14:20,480 WITH HAVING ANOTHER PERSON AROUND. 245 00:14:20,549 --> 00:14:22,620 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 246 00:14:22,689 --> 00:14:24,898 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK. 247 00:14:24,967 --> 00:14:27,694 YOU'RE NOT HURT BY WHAT I'M SAYING, THOUGH, ARE YOU? 248 00:14:27,763 --> 00:14:29,316 I'M SHOCKED. 249 00:14:29,385 --> 00:14:30,766 YOU KNOW WHAT? 250 00:14:30,835 --> 00:14:32,043 I'M AN OLDER GUY, 251 00:14:32,112 --> 00:14:33,596 BUT WE COULD START A WHOLE NEW LIFE TOGETHER. 252 00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:37,531 HOW -- HOW DID I END UP IN THIS SITUATION? 253 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,395 WELL... THANK YOU. 254 00:14:39,464 --> 00:14:40,949 BUT I'LL JUST GO ON AND, YOU KNOW... 255 00:14:44,538 --> 00:14:46,540 NICE TO HAVE MET YOU. 256 00:14:50,544 --> 00:14:52,546 SEE YOU. SEE YOU LATER. 257 00:14:54,065 --> 00:14:55,791 AND IT'S YOUR LOSS. 258 00:15:11,048 --> 00:15:12,394 SIR? 259 00:15:12,463 --> 00:15:15,121 WE HAVE A NEW POLICY. 260 00:15:15,190 --> 00:15:17,640 WE WANT TO ENSURE THAT ALL OUR PATRONS 261 00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:20,264 ENJOY THE BEST POSSIBLE MOVIE EXPERIENCE, 262 00:15:20,333 --> 00:15:23,336 SO I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO PUT YOUR CELLPHONE IN THIS BOX. 263 00:15:23,405 --> 00:15:26,304 REALLY? YEAH. 264 00:15:26,373 --> 00:15:27,547 YEAH. 265 00:15:27,616 --> 00:15:30,930 WE CAN'T HAVE CELLPHONES IN THE THEATER ANYMORE. 266 00:15:30,999 --> 00:15:32,414 SO, IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND. 267 00:15:32,483 --> 00:15:35,175 I-I-I CAN'T DO THAT. I'M SORRY. 268 00:15:35,244 --> 00:15:37,108 REALLY? WHY NOT? 269 00:15:37,177 --> 00:15:40,318 I NEED TO HAVE MY CELLPHONE. I TURN MY CELLPHONE OFF. 270 00:15:40,387 --> 00:15:41,457 LOOK, I DIDN'T MAKE THE RULE. 271 00:15:41,526 --> 00:15:42,665 RICHARD. RICHARD. 272 00:15:42,734 --> 00:15:43,770 WHAT? HANG ON. 273 00:15:43,839 --> 00:15:46,428 WE CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT THIS MAN IS DOING. 274 00:15:46,497 --> 00:15:47,774 OOH! 275 00:15:47,843 --> 00:15:49,431 WHEN I TOOK HIS PHONE, LOOK WHAT HE WAS WATCHING. 276 00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,295 LOOK WHERE HIS FOOT IS. 277 00:15:51,364 --> 00:15:53,124 IS THAT HIS FOOT? 278 00:15:53,193 --> 00:15:54,505 YES! 279 00:15:54,574 --> 00:15:56,127 THAT'S HIS FOOT? YES. 280 00:15:56,196 --> 00:15:57,577 WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE REST OF THIS! 281 00:15:57,646 --> 00:16:00,752 WATCH IT IN THE OFFICE. LET'S GO IN THE OFFICE. 282 00:16:00,821 --> 00:16:02,478 WOW. 283 00:16:12,523 --> 00:16:14,559 GOSH, DO I LOVE GARDENING. 284 00:16:14,628 --> 00:16:17,493 AFTER AN AFTERNOON WITH MY FLOWERS, 285 00:16:17,562 --> 00:16:19,979 I FEEL REFRESHED, REJUVENATED... 286 00:16:21,566 --> 00:16:23,948 ...READY FOR THE REST OF MY DAY. 287 00:16:34,131 --> 00:16:37,030 IT'S TANGO TIME. 288 00:16:49,870 --> 00:16:52,080 HOW ARE YOU GUYS DOING TODAY? 289 00:16:52,149 --> 00:16:53,633 NOT BAD. HOW ABOUT YOURSELF? 290 00:16:53,702 --> 00:16:55,669 I'M DOING GOOD. 291 00:16:55,738 --> 00:16:57,913 JUST RESTING A LITTLE BIT BEFORE I GET ON THE TRAIN. 292 00:16:57,982 --> 00:16:59,466 YOU GUYS GOING SOMEWHERE? 293 00:16:59,535 --> 00:17:01,606 RHODE ISLAND. 294 00:17:01,675 --> 00:17:03,919 THAT'S WHERE I'M GOING. 295 00:17:03,988 --> 00:17:05,645 YEAH! 296 00:17:05,714 --> 00:17:06,922 YOU KNOW WHAT? 297 00:17:06,991 --> 00:17:08,924 YOU GUYS ARE REALLY CUTE. 298 00:17:11,133 --> 00:17:15,275 AND I WAS WONDERING -- I'VE ALWAYS HAD THIS FANTASY... 299 00:17:15,344 --> 00:17:19,003 TO HAVE A THREESOME ON THE TRAIN. 300 00:17:20,625 --> 00:17:22,558 I HEARD THAT IT'S, LIKE, BETTER 301 00:17:22,627 --> 00:17:25,113 WHEN YOU'RE GOING LIKE 100 MILES AN HOUR. 302 00:17:26,666 --> 00:17:28,116 SO, YOU'D BE INTERESTED? 303 00:17:28,185 --> 00:17:29,255 UM... 304 00:17:29,324 --> 00:17:30,739 IT'LL BE WORTH YOUR WHILE, REALLY. 305 00:17:30,808 --> 00:17:31,878 WE'LL HASH IT OUT. 306 00:17:31,947 --> 00:17:33,638 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 307 00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:49,068 OH, MY GOSH. 308 00:17:49,137 --> 00:17:51,898 OH, MY GOSH. OH, MY GOSH. 309 00:17:51,967 --> 00:17:53,589 I LOST MY WEDDING RING. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 310 00:17:53,658 --> 00:17:54,935 IT WAS ON MY FINGER JUST A MINUTE AGO, 311 00:17:55,004 --> 00:17:55,971 AND IT'S NOT ANYWHERE. 312 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:57,490 DO YOU SEE ANYTHING DOWN HERE? 313 00:17:57,559 --> 00:17:58,491 I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! 314 00:17:59,526 --> 00:18:01,045 OH. 315 00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:02,495 OH, MY GOSH. 316 00:18:02,564 --> 00:18:04,842 MY BOYFRIEND JUST TEXTED ME. 317 00:18:04,911 --> 00:18:06,050 I LEFT IT ON THE NIGHTSTAND. 318 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:08,846 I'M SO RELIEVED. OH! THANK GOODNESS. 319 00:18:08,915 --> 00:18:10,192 OH! 320 00:18:17,372 --> 00:18:19,477 LADIES, CAN I TALK TO YOU? 321 00:18:19,546 --> 00:18:21,583 THANK YOU. 322 00:18:21,652 --> 00:18:24,862 OH, I'M GIVING AWAY FREE FLIGHTS TO HAWAII. 323 00:18:24,931 --> 00:18:26,691 Woman: WE HAVE TO SIGN UP AND GIVE OUR E-MAIL? 324 00:18:26,760 --> 00:18:28,245 NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SIGN ANYTHING UP. 325 00:18:28,314 --> 00:18:30,074 YOU JUST HAVE TO BE MY DATE. THAT'S ALL. 326 00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:34,354 MY GRANDDAUGHTER IS GETTING MARRIED, 327 00:18:34,423 --> 00:18:37,185 AND I'D LIKE TO WALK IN WITH SOMEBODY LIKE YOU GUYS. 328 00:18:37,254 --> 00:18:38,669 ARE YOU SERIOUS? 329 00:18:38,738 --> 00:18:41,154 IT WOULD REALLY BE JUST WONDERFUL IF THAT COULD HAPPEN. 330 00:18:41,223 --> 00:18:43,605 AND IF THAT WORKS OUT, 331 00:18:43,674 --> 00:18:46,435 WE COULD DO IT CHRISTMASTIME AND MAYBE EVEN EASTER. 332 00:18:46,504 --> 00:18:47,816 I DON'T KNOW. 333 00:18:47,885 --> 00:18:48,989 HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO HAWAII? 334 00:18:49,058 --> 00:18:50,336 YEAH, I'VE BEEN. 335 00:18:50,405 --> 00:18:52,441 BUT NOT WITH SOMEBODY I DON'T KNOW. 336 00:18:52,510 --> 00:18:55,996 UH, YOU KNOW, I COULD TAKE YOU OUT BEFORE WE GO. 337 00:18:56,065 --> 00:18:59,068 THAT'S SO CRAZY. BUT, NO, THANKS. 338 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,346 YOU SURE? 339 00:19:00,415 --> 00:19:02,106 WELL, YOU'RE MISSING THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE. 340 00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:05,592 THE CHANCE OF A LIFETIME, I'LL TELL YOU. 341 00:19:05,661 --> 00:19:07,146 BYE! 342 00:19:12,427 --> 00:19:14,256 HI. DO YOU HAVE A PHONE I CAN BORROW? 343 00:19:14,325 --> 00:19:15,292 MINE IS DEAD. 344 00:19:15,361 --> 00:19:18,260 OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH. 345 00:19:20,538 --> 00:19:22,575 HOLA. 346 00:19:22,644 --> 00:19:23,714 FERNANDO? 347 00:19:23,783 --> 00:19:25,647 AH! 348 00:19:25,716 --> 00:19:27,925 I HAVEN'T TALKED TO YOU IN SO LONG. 349 00:19:27,994 --> 00:19:29,547 WHAT IS THE WEATHER IN SPAIN? 350 00:19:31,239 --> 00:19:33,068 YOU KNOW, ONE OF THE THINGS I WANT TO DO 351 00:19:33,137 --> 00:19:34,345 IS GO TO A BULL FIGHT. 352 00:19:34,414 --> 00:19:36,830 WHAT TIME AM I CALLING YOU THERE? 353 00:19:36,899 --> 00:19:39,799 OH, YOU'RE KIDDING. I'M SO SORRY. 354 00:19:39,868 --> 00:19:43,561 I WOKE YOU? OH, MY GOD. 355 00:19:43,630 --> 00:19:46,012 NO, IT ISN'T -- THIS PHONE CALL ISN'T COSTING ME ANYTHING. 356 00:19:46,081 --> 00:19:48,670 WE CAN TALK FOR AS LONG AS YOU LIKE. 357 00:19:48,739 --> 00:19:51,224 YEAH. HOW IS YOUR MOTHER? 358 00:19:53,399 --> 00:19:55,263 YES. 359 00:19:55,332 --> 00:19:59,577 YOU KNOW, SHE GAVE ME A WONDERFUL RECIPE. 360 00:19:59,646 --> 00:20:01,717 I CAN'T WAIT TO TASTE HER COOKING AGAIN. 361 00:20:01,786 --> 00:20:04,617 OH, YES. 362 00:20:04,686 --> 00:20:06,239 I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU. 363 00:20:06,308 --> 00:20:07,792 BYE. 364 00:20:07,861 --> 00:20:09,035 I GOT TO GO. HERE'S YOUR PHONE. 365 00:20:09,104 --> 00:20:10,243 THANK YOU. 366 00:20:22,945 --> 00:20:24,292 I OFTEN GET ASKED, 367 00:20:24,361 --> 00:20:27,640 "WHAT'S THE SECRET TO A LONG AND HAPPY LIFE?" 368 00:20:27,709 --> 00:20:29,504 I DON'T HAVE THE ANSWER, 369 00:20:29,573 --> 00:20:32,196 BUT A VERY OLD FRIEND OF MINE SAID, 370 00:20:32,265 --> 00:20:33,577 "FOLLOW YOUR BLISS 371 00:20:33,646 --> 00:20:36,027 "AND THE UNIVERSE WILL OPEN DOORS 372 00:20:36,096 --> 00:20:38,064 WHERE THERE WERE ONLY WALLS." 373 00:20:38,133 --> 00:20:41,101 OH, DEAR, DEAR CONFUCIUS. 374 00:20:41,170 --> 00:20:43,172 HE WAS A WISE MAN. 375 00:20:44,588 --> 00:20:47,038 AH. 376 00:20:47,107 --> 00:20:49,627 MADE GOOD COOKIES, TOO. 377 00:20:49,696 --> 00:20:51,629 MMM. 25761

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