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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:27,958 --> 00:00:32,032 OH, MY GOD! OH! 2 00:00:32,101 --> 00:00:35,276 OH, IT'S NOT FOR ME. 3 00:00:35,345 --> 00:00:36,933 OH! 4 00:00:57,609 --> 00:00:59,266 NAILED IT. 5 00:01:10,104 --> 00:01:13,107 AH-CHOO! 6 00:01:13,176 --> 00:01:16,352 ♪ WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT ♪ 7 00:01:16,421 --> 00:01:26,672 NO! 8 00:01:26,741 --> 00:01:28,364 OOH! 9 00:01:40,238 --> 00:01:42,723 OH, HI, THERE. WELCOME TO "OFF THEIR ROCKERS." 10 00:01:42,792 --> 00:01:44,449 NeNe AND I WERE JUST TALKING 11 00:01:44,518 --> 00:01:46,865 ABOUT SOME OF OUR FAVORITE BREAK-UP SONGS. 12 00:01:46,934 --> 00:01:51,387 WELL, YOU KNOW, WHEN I AM FEELING RICH AND FABULOUS, 13 00:01:51,456 --> 00:01:53,872 I LIKE TO LISTEN TO "I WILL SURVIVE." 14 00:01:53,941 --> 00:01:56,081 OH, POOR ROBERT PATTINSON 15 00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:59,015 BLASTED THAT FOR MOST OF LAST YEAR. 16 00:01:59,084 --> 00:02:02,501 BUT, YOU KNOW, WHEN I AM FEELING BITTER AND ANGRY, 17 00:02:02,570 --> 00:02:05,228 I LIKE TO LISTEN TO "BEFORE HE CHEATS." 18 00:02:05,297 --> 00:02:07,679 OH, THERE'S NOTHING THAT HEALS A BROKEN HEART 19 00:02:07,748 --> 00:02:08,921 LIKE A TALE OF REVENGE. 20 00:02:08,990 --> 00:02:10,406 WHAT ABOUT YOU? 21 00:02:10,475 --> 00:02:12,201 "UN-BREAK MY HEART," 22 00:02:12,270 --> 00:02:16,274 OR ARE YOU A "SINCE U BEEN GONE" TYPE OF CHICK? 23 00:02:16,343 --> 00:02:17,861 OH, NeNe, YOU KNOW ME. 24 00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:20,899 I'M NOT REALLY ONE TO SIT AROUND AND WALLOW. 25 00:02:20,968 --> 00:02:22,970 WHAT'S YOUR BREAK-UP SONG? 26 00:02:23,039 --> 00:02:25,869 "IT'S RAINING MEN." 27 00:02:25,938 --> 00:02:27,595 HALLELUJAH! 28 00:02:35,293 --> 00:02:36,984 HI. 29 00:02:37,053 --> 00:02:39,711 OH, EXCUSE ME. 30 00:02:39,780 --> 00:02:43,266 I SAW SOMETHING THAT REALLY LOOKED INTERESTING. 31 00:02:43,335 --> 00:02:45,510 OOH, IT'S HEAVY. WHAT IS THIS? 32 00:02:45,579 --> 00:02:47,443 MIRRORS. OH. 33 00:02:47,512 --> 00:02:49,893 THEY'RE LITTLE HEXAGONS. 34 00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:52,172 THAT'S NICE. OH, I LIKE IT. 35 00:02:52,241 --> 00:02:53,897 I THINK I'LL KEEP IT. THANK YOU. 36 00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:56,831 UM, WHAT? 37 00:02:58,902 --> 00:03:00,525 WHAT?! 38 00:03:00,594 --> 00:03:02,975 OKAY. 39 00:03:10,707 --> 00:03:12,606 EXCUSE ME, COULD YOU GIVE ME A HAND? 40 00:03:12,675 --> 00:03:14,953 I TOLD MY GIRLFRIEND I COULD NOT MEET HER DOWN HERE, 41 00:03:15,022 --> 00:03:16,679 'CAUSE I WAS MEETING MY NEW BOYFRIEND, 42 00:03:16,748 --> 00:03:18,301 AND SHE'S JUST PARKING THE CAR. 43 00:03:18,370 --> 00:03:20,303 COULD YOU JUST BE MY BOYFRIEND FOR A SECOND, 44 00:03:20,372 --> 00:03:21,442 AND JUST KIND OF, YOU KNOW, FAKE IT WITH ME? 45 00:03:21,511 --> 00:03:22,512 PLEASE? OKAY. OH, THERE SHE IS! 46 00:03:22,581 --> 00:03:24,859 - HELEN, HOW ARE YOU? - OH, HI, DOTTIE! 47 00:03:24,928 --> 00:03:26,171 THIS IS DOTTIE. 48 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,069 OH, WELL, NICE TO MEET YOU. 49 00:03:28,138 --> 00:03:29,243 THIS IS FRANK. 50 00:03:29,312 --> 00:03:31,797 OH, HI, FRANK. AND WHERE'D Y'ALL MEET? 51 00:03:31,866 --> 00:03:33,074 ISN'T HE DARLING? 52 00:03:33,143 --> 00:03:34,455 UH, WHERE DID WE MEET? AT THE DOG PARK? 53 00:03:34,524 --> 00:03:35,870 SHE DOESN'T HAVE A DOG. 54 00:03:35,939 --> 00:03:38,666 WELL, NO. I HAD MY GIRLFRIEND'S. 55 00:03:38,735 --> 00:03:40,806 MY GOODNESS, YOU ARE A FLIRTY YOUNG THING, AREN'T YOU? 56 00:03:40,875 --> 00:03:42,222 YOU LIKE THEM YOUNG, DON'T YOU? 57 00:03:42,291 --> 00:03:44,051 WELL, YOU KNOW. YOU CAN'T BLAME ME, CAN YOU? 58 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,053 DO YOU REALLY DO IT THREE TIMES A DAY? 59 00:03:46,122 --> 00:03:47,572 YOU ARE EMBARRASSING US, DOTTIE. PLEASE. 60 00:03:47,641 --> 00:03:50,057 OKAY, WELL, Y'ALL DO WHAT YOU DO. 61 00:03:50,126 --> 00:03:52,370 I'M GONNA GO HAVE BREAKFAST WITH THE GIRLS. 62 00:03:52,439 --> 00:03:53,405 BYE-BYE. GOOD TO SEE YOU. 63 00:03:53,474 --> 00:03:54,510 BYE-BYE. 64 00:03:54,579 --> 00:03:56,305 YOU ARE SO CUTE. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 65 00:03:56,374 --> 00:03:58,824 LISTEN, YOU KNOW, HOW ABOUT A MOVIE? 66 00:03:58,893 --> 00:04:00,170 TONIGHT? 67 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,069 TODAY, TONIGHT -- YEAH. RIGHT NOW! 68 00:04:02,138 --> 00:04:03,312 DO WE GET YOUR SENIOR-CITIZEN DISCOUNT? 69 00:04:03,381 --> 00:04:05,314 ABSOLUTELY! 70 00:04:05,383 --> 00:04:06,694 HELL YEAH! 71 00:04:26,162 --> 00:04:28,060 GET THE BANANAS! 72 00:04:28,129 --> 00:04:30,062 Man: I DON'T WANT BANANAS. 73 00:04:30,131 --> 00:04:31,719 NOW, PLEASE, GET THE BANANAS. 74 00:04:31,788 --> 00:04:33,238 NO. I'M NOT GETTING BANANAS. I'M GETTING BANANA-CREAM PIE. 75 00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:35,378 I'M GONNA EAT WHAT I WANT TO EAT. 76 00:04:35,447 --> 00:04:37,277 IF YOU ATE WHAT YOU WANTED TO EAT, 77 00:04:37,346 --> 00:04:38,864 YOU'D EAT PIZZA ALL DAY. 78 00:04:38,933 --> 00:04:40,452 JUST GET THE BANANAS. WOULD YOU HOLD THIS, SIR? 79 00:04:40,521 --> 00:04:42,420 WHAT'D YOU BRING ME HERE FOR? YOU KNOW I WANTED TO STAY HOME. 80 00:04:42,489 --> 00:04:44,801 WHY DON'T YOU LET ME STAY HOME? 81 00:04:44,870 --> 00:04:46,389 YOU SHOULD STAY HOME! 82 00:04:46,458 --> 00:04:47,597 YES! 83 00:04:47,666 --> 00:04:48,598 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 84 00:04:48,667 --> 00:04:49,806 I CAN STAY HOME. 85 00:04:49,875 --> 00:04:51,256 YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE! 86 00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:53,707 YOU'RE A DRAMA QUEEN. YOU KNOW THAT? 87 00:04:53,776 --> 00:04:56,744 I'M GONNA WAIT IN THE CAR. 88 00:05:03,475 --> 00:05:04,890 OKAY, LET'S START 89 00:05:04,959 --> 00:05:08,238 OUR "OFF THEIR ROCKERS" EMPLOYEE REVIEWS. 90 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:11,794 RICHARD, IT SAYS YOU PANTSED 91 00:05:11,863 --> 00:05:16,246 OVER A DOZEN PEOPLE ON THE BOARDWALK LAST WEEK. 92 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,524 AND, MICHAEL, 93 00:05:17,593 --> 00:05:20,147 YOU WERE BANNED FROM THE GROCERY STORE 94 00:05:20,216 --> 00:05:25,152 FOR BREAKING A RECORD-NUMBER OF PICKLE JARS AND WATERMELONS? 95 00:05:26,947 --> 00:05:30,468 AND, ANN, IT SAYS HERE YOU WERE DISRUPTIVE, 96 00:05:30,537 --> 00:05:35,265 REBELLIOUS, AND SHOCKED AND OFFENDED COUNTLESS PEOPLE. 97 00:05:37,751 --> 00:05:39,511 CONGRATULATIONS, ANN. 98 00:05:39,580 --> 00:05:43,929 YOU ARE OUR "OFF THEIR ROCKERS" EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH. 99 00:05:43,998 --> 00:05:45,828 YOU'RE REALLY MOVING UP THE LADDER. 100 00:05:50,315 --> 00:05:53,767 JUST DON'T YOU FORGET WHO'S BOSS. 101 00:06:00,532 --> 00:06:02,189 EXCUSE ME, GIRLS. 102 00:06:02,258 --> 00:06:05,157 JUST A MOMENT. COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR, PLEASE? 103 00:06:05,226 --> 00:06:08,368 DO YOU MIND WATCHING MY SCOOTER, JUST FOR A MINUTE? 104 00:06:08,437 --> 00:06:10,024 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. OKAY? JUST WATCH IT. 105 00:06:10,093 --> 00:06:11,163 THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THANK YOU. 106 00:06:51,307 --> 00:06:53,413 OH, HERE COMES BETTY. 107 00:06:53,482 --> 00:06:55,138 HEY, BETTY. 108 00:06:55,207 --> 00:06:57,658 I JUST SAW A TAPE OF NEXT WEEK'S SHOW, 109 00:06:57,727 --> 00:06:59,729 AND I THINK IT'S THE BEST ONE YET. 110 00:06:59,798 --> 00:07:01,386 OH, REALLY? 111 00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:04,009 DON'T GET TOO EXCITED OR ANYTHING, 112 00:07:04,078 --> 00:07:05,632 BUT I'M THINKING EMMY. 113 00:07:05,701 --> 00:07:08,048 OH, REALLY? 114 00:07:08,117 --> 00:07:09,601 YOU WANT TO SEE IT? 115 00:07:09,670 --> 00:07:11,396 - YEAH! - YEAH! YEAH! - YEAH! 116 00:07:22,096 --> 00:07:23,822 OOP. 117 00:07:23,891 --> 00:07:25,341 WRONG TAPE. 118 00:07:37,871 --> 00:07:39,769 HI. 119 00:07:39,838 --> 00:07:42,565 HOW ARE YOU TODAY? 120 00:07:42,634 --> 00:07:44,498 GOOD. THIS IS MY HUSBAND, MURRAY. 121 00:07:44,567 --> 00:07:46,638 HE LOVED COMING TO THIS OLD BUILDING. 122 00:07:46,707 --> 00:07:49,917 I'M BRINGING HIM HERE FOR ONE LAST TIME, 123 00:07:49,986 --> 00:07:53,403 SO HE CAN VISIT A LITTLE BIT. 124 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,543 I'M REATHA. 125 00:07:54,612 --> 00:07:55,578 CONNER. 126 00:07:55,647 --> 00:07:58,685 CONNER? NICE TO MEET YOU. 127 00:07:58,754 --> 00:08:02,585 NOW, YOU REMEMBER -- YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE. 128 00:08:02,654 --> 00:08:06,865 SO ENJOY LIFE AND NEVER LOOK BACK. 129 00:08:06,934 --> 00:08:08,833 OKAY? OKAY, BYE-BYE. 130 00:08:08,902 --> 00:08:11,042 HAVE A GOOD DAY. 131 00:08:30,337 --> 00:08:35,066 MA'AM, I'M WITH THE DEPARTMENT OF PET SERVICES, 132 00:08:35,135 --> 00:08:38,518 AND THERE'S BEEN A RECENT RASH OF DOG DOPING 133 00:08:38,587 --> 00:08:40,278 GOING ON IN THIS PARK. 134 00:08:40,347 --> 00:08:43,902 SO I WAS JUST OBSERVING -- 135 00:08:43,971 --> 00:08:47,630 YOUR CANINE WAS ACCELERATING AT A PRETTY GOOD RATE OF SPEED. 136 00:08:50,253 --> 00:08:51,841 YEAH, I KNOW. 137 00:08:51,910 --> 00:08:54,879 COULD YOU GET YOUR DOG TO PEE IN THIS CUP FOR US, PLEASE? 138 00:08:54,948 --> 00:08:56,397 UM... 139 00:08:56,466 --> 00:08:57,916 YEAH. THANK YOU. 140 00:08:57,985 --> 00:09:01,437 I DON'T THINK THAT I CAN, TO BE HONEST WITH YOU. 141 00:09:01,506 --> 00:09:04,198 WELL, WE CAN'T HAVE THE DOGS RUNNING AROUND WITH, 142 00:09:04,267 --> 00:09:05,924 YOU KNOW, JUICED UP AND... 143 00:09:07,926 --> 00:09:09,549 WELL, THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GONNA DETERMINE. 144 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:16,866 YEAH, WELL, I'M NOT GONNA -- 145 00:09:16,935 --> 00:09:19,248 YES, I WORK FOR THE... 146 00:09:19,317 --> 00:09:21,802 IF YOU CAN DO THAT, I'LL BE IN MY VAN. 147 00:09:21,871 --> 00:09:24,391 AS SOON AS YOU COLLECT THAT SAMPLE -- 148 00:09:32,157 --> 00:09:34,574 REQUESTING BACK-UP. 149 00:09:34,643 --> 00:09:37,024 I GOT A HOSTILE DOG-OWNER REFUSING TO SUBMIT A SAMPLE. 150 00:09:47,414 --> 00:09:50,072 WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE THE BETTER KISSER? 151 00:09:50,141 --> 00:09:51,487 I AM THE BETTER KISSER. 152 00:09:51,556 --> 00:09:52,799 I AM THE BETTER KISSER. 153 00:09:52,868 --> 00:09:55,974 EXCUSE ME, SIR, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND? 154 00:09:56,043 --> 00:09:59,357 MY SISTER SAYS THAT SHE'S A BETTER KISSER THAN ME. 155 00:09:59,426 --> 00:10:00,496 WHO DO YOU THINK, JUST BY LOOKING AT US? 156 00:10:00,565 --> 00:10:02,878 ME OR HER? WHICH ONE DO YOU THINK? 157 00:10:02,947 --> 00:10:05,156 YOU CAN'T CHOOSE BY LOOKING! 158 00:10:05,225 --> 00:10:07,572 OH, WE HAVE TO KISS HIM? 159 00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:09,885 OKAY, WHO DO YOU WANT TO HAVE KISS FIRST? 160 00:10:09,954 --> 00:10:11,162 WHO DO YOU WANT TO KISS FIRST? 161 00:10:11,231 --> 00:10:12,784 HONESTLY, HERE'S HOW I WOULD DO IT. 162 00:10:12,853 --> 00:10:15,200 I'D PROBABLY SAY THE PERSON 163 00:10:15,269 --> 00:10:19,239 WHO SEEMS MORE ENERGETIC ABOUT THE SITUATION. 164 00:10:19,308 --> 00:10:21,206 - ENERGETIC? - OH! THAT'S ME! 165 00:10:21,275 --> 00:10:23,277 OH, YEAH, YEAH. OKAY. 166 00:10:23,346 --> 00:10:25,763 NO. NO, I'M THE BETTER KISSER. YOU KNOW WHY? 167 00:10:25,832 --> 00:10:28,213 BECAUSE YOUR HUSBAND TOLD ME I WAS A BETTER KISSER. 168 00:10:28,282 --> 00:10:30,112 MY HUSBAND?! HOW DARE YOU?! 169 00:10:30,181 --> 00:10:32,252 WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT WAS MY HUSBAND? 170 00:10:32,321 --> 00:10:33,840 YOU JEZEBEL! 171 00:10:33,909 --> 00:10:35,876 DOTTIE, IT WAS NEW YEAR'S EVE, AND IT WAS JUST ONE KISS. 172 00:10:35,945 --> 00:10:38,189 OH, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. 173 00:10:47,992 --> 00:10:50,442 DO YOU HAVE THE PLANS? 174 00:10:50,511 --> 00:10:52,306 I'M AGENT SIX. 175 00:10:52,375 --> 00:10:54,515 WHAT'S THAT? 176 00:10:54,584 --> 00:10:57,104 Cover your lips. They'll read your lips. 177 00:10:57,173 --> 00:11:02,316 My government is willing to make a deal 178 00:11:02,385 --> 00:11:04,629 for those plans. 179 00:11:04,698 --> 00:11:06,631 Look, I'm gonna give you a number 180 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:10,014 to take back to your people -- six million. 181 00:11:10,083 --> 00:11:13,224 We'll be in touch. 182 00:11:47,396 --> 00:11:49,743 EXCUSE ME, HUN, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? 183 00:11:49,812 --> 00:11:52,228 WHERE DO THE KIDS GO TO DANCE AROUND HERE? 184 00:11:52,297 --> 00:11:55,749 DO YOU KNOW? WELL, WHY NOT RIGHT HERE?! 185 00:11:55,818 --> 00:11:57,820 HIT IT! 186 00:11:57,889 --> 00:11:59,166 YEAH! 187 00:11:59,235 --> 00:12:00,581 UH-HUH! 188 00:12:00,650 --> 00:12:02,031 Man: YEAH, BABY! 189 00:12:02,100 --> 00:12:03,723 WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! 190 00:12:03,792 --> 00:12:06,070 I'M HITTING IT! YEAH! 191 00:12:07,968 --> 00:12:10,557 OH, FINALLY SOME MUSIC! VERY GOOD! 192 00:12:10,626 --> 00:12:14,457 YEAH! LET IT RIDE, BABY! LET IT RIDE! 193 00:12:18,289 --> 00:12:20,636 YES! 194 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,091 BYE. 195 00:12:39,862 --> 00:12:41,519 OH, I AM SO EXCITED. 196 00:12:41,588 --> 00:12:45,385 NeNe'S GONNA SHOW ME HOW TO BE A REAL HOUSEWIFE. 197 00:12:45,454 --> 00:12:49,285 WELL, THE SECRET TO A REALLY GOOD WINE THROW 198 00:12:49,354 --> 00:12:50,942 IS IN YOUR WRIST. 199 00:12:51,011 --> 00:12:54,083 OH. LIKE THIS? 200 00:12:54,152 --> 00:12:55,740 EH, WELL, THAT WAS GOOD, 201 00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:58,985 BUT YOU REALLY NEED TO PUT SOME EMOTION BEHIND IT. 202 00:12:59,054 --> 00:13:00,676 LIKE, THINK OF THE PERSON 203 00:13:00,745 --> 00:13:02,574 THAT DIDN'T INVITE YOU TO THEIR PARTY 204 00:13:02,643 --> 00:13:05,129 OR THE PERSON THAT INSULTED YOUR PERSONAL CHEF 205 00:13:05,198 --> 00:13:08,615 OR EVEN THE PERSON THAT BAILED ON YOUR CHARITY EVENT, 206 00:13:08,684 --> 00:13:12,170 AND THEN YOU JUST SORT OF GO BOOP! 207 00:13:12,239 --> 00:13:14,310 I THINK I'VE GOT IT. 208 00:13:16,726 --> 00:13:18,383 BOOP! 209 00:13:18,452 --> 00:13:20,696 OH, BETTY! THAT IS EXCELLENT! 210 00:13:20,765 --> 00:13:22,594 YOU KNOW, IT TOOK ME YEARS 211 00:13:22,663 --> 00:13:25,252 TO GET MY WINE-THROWING FORM DOWN. 212 00:13:25,321 --> 00:13:28,738 BUT YOU? GIRL, YOU ARE A NATURAL. 213 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:32,294 CAN I GO RINSE OFF NOW? 214 00:13:32,363 --> 00:13:33,640 NOT YET. 215 00:13:33,709 --> 00:13:36,470 SHE'S GONNA SHOW ME HOW TO THROW A TABLE AT YOU, NEXT. 216 00:13:46,066 --> 00:13:48,241 CAN I HELP YOU LADIES RIGHT HERE? 217 00:13:48,310 --> 00:13:49,518 WHAT CAN I GET YOU? 218 00:13:49,587 --> 00:13:51,175 CAN I HAVE A SMALL POPCORN, PLEASE? 219 00:13:51,244 --> 00:13:54,178 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? I GOT A SPECIAL ON POPCORN. 220 00:13:54,247 --> 00:13:56,594 JUST FOR YOU, I GOT A NICE BAG OF POPCORN. 221 00:13:56,663 --> 00:13:59,390 AND I'VE GOT A NICE, LARGE DRINK. 222 00:13:59,459 --> 00:14:00,978 OKAY, LET'S SEE, THE TWO OF THEM -- $62.50. 223 00:14:01,047 --> 00:14:02,186 YOU CAN'T BEAT IT. 224 00:14:02,255 --> 00:14:03,843 IT'S THE LAST ONE I'VE GOT. HEY, LISTEN. 225 00:14:03,912 --> 00:14:06,915 I'VE GOT A GALLON OF BUTTER, AND LET ME GET YOU A LID. 226 00:14:06,984 --> 00:14:09,849 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. I NEED THE LID AND THE BUTTER! 227 00:14:29,075 --> 00:14:30,904 EXCUSE ME, MISS. COULD YOU HELP ME A MINUTE? 228 00:14:30,973 --> 00:14:34,666 I THINK I'M SET AT 50. COULD YOU POSSIBLY SET ME AT 70? 229 00:14:34,735 --> 00:14:36,806 'CAUSE I THINK IT WOULD BE BETTER. 230 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,463 MY DOCTOR SAYS I HAVE TO WORK OUT. 231 00:14:38,532 --> 00:14:39,948 IT'S REALLY GOOD FOR MY HEART. 232 00:14:44,021 --> 00:14:45,746 OH, THAT IS IS SO PERFECT! 233 00:14:45,815 --> 00:14:47,403 OH! THANK YOU. 234 00:14:47,472 --> 00:14:48,611 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 235 00:14:53,099 --> 00:14:54,790 ♪ DAH-DAH-DAH-DAH-DAH DAH! ♪ 236 00:15:12,221 --> 00:15:14,775 EXCUSE ME, SIR. CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? 237 00:15:14,844 --> 00:15:16,087 YEAH. 238 00:15:16,156 --> 00:15:19,608 TODAY'S MY 50th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, 239 00:15:19,677 --> 00:15:22,542 AND SO I WENT TO A TATTOO PARLOR TO HAVE A TATTOO DONE. 240 00:15:22,611 --> 00:15:25,200 THE GUY WAS LIKE A LITTLE BIT UNDER THE WEATHER, 241 00:15:25,269 --> 00:15:27,961 AND I'M NOT QUITE SURE IF HE DID WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO, 242 00:15:28,030 --> 00:15:29,825 'CAUSE I CAN'T SEE WHAT HE DID. 243 00:15:29,894 --> 00:15:32,241 IT'S SUPPOSED TO SAY, "PENNY'S LOVER." 244 00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:34,278 P-E-N-N-Y -- WHAT DOES IT SAY? 245 00:15:34,347 --> 00:15:36,901 WHAT'S IT SAY? 246 00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:38,351 IT SAYS P-E-N-I-S. 247 00:15:38,420 --> 00:15:40,353 WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 248 00:15:40,422 --> 00:15:43,321 "P-E-N-I-S LOVER" 249 00:15:43,390 --> 00:15:45,047 WELL, BUT THAT SPELLS PENIS, DOESN'T IT? 250 00:15:45,116 --> 00:15:46,531 YEAH. 251 00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:49,500 I'M GONNA GO GET HIM. I GOT -- THAT'S AWFUL. 252 00:15:49,569 --> 00:15:51,122 UGH, CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 253 00:15:51,191 --> 00:15:53,918 I'M GONNA GET THAT GUY! 254 00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:55,920 OH, MAN. 255 00:16:09,416 --> 00:16:10,797 Man: IF YOU'RE READY... 256 00:16:10,866 --> 00:16:12,109 YEAH, I'M READY. 257 00:16:12,178 --> 00:16:13,213 ALL I NEED IS TO FIND SOMEONE. 258 00:16:13,282 --> 00:16:15,146 OH, WE GOT TWO PEOPLE HERE. 259 00:16:15,215 --> 00:16:17,183 WOULD YOU GIVE US A START? 260 00:16:17,252 --> 00:16:19,012 ON YOUR MARKS... 261 00:16:19,081 --> 00:16:21,049 ON OUR MARK, GET SET... 262 00:16:21,118 --> 00:16:22,326 GO! 263 00:16:22,395 --> 00:16:23,603 - YEAH, BABY! - WAIT A MINUTE! 264 00:16:23,672 --> 00:16:25,156 YEAH, I GOT YOU, BABY! 265 00:16:25,225 --> 00:16:26,226 AH, YOU CHEATED! 266 00:16:26,295 --> 00:16:28,539 YOU'RE ALWAYS CHEATING. 267 00:16:28,608 --> 00:16:31,645 - NO, I'M NOT! - YOU GOT A SUPER DRIVE! 268 00:16:31,714 --> 00:16:33,785 COME ON, BABY! 269 00:16:42,104 --> 00:16:45,349 AT MY AGE, LIFE IS ALL ABOUT MAINTENANCE. 270 00:16:45,418 --> 00:16:47,937 THAT'S WHY IT'S TIME FOR A HIP REPLACEMENT. 271 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:51,941 IT'LL BE PAINFUL, BUT I HAVE TO DO IT. 272 00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:54,220 LOU, YOU'RE NOT HIP ENOUGH FOR ME. 273 00:16:54,289 --> 00:16:55,842 GET OUT. 274 00:17:02,918 --> 00:17:04,713 NOW, THAT'S MORE LIKE IT. 275 00:17:11,375 --> 00:17:13,032 HI. 276 00:17:13,101 --> 00:17:15,551 MY FRIEND JUST GOT A BOOB JOB. 277 00:17:15,620 --> 00:17:18,071 DO YOU THINK IT LOOKS REAL? 278 00:17:18,140 --> 00:17:19,900 I DON'T THINK IT LOOKS REAL. 279 00:17:19,969 --> 00:17:22,041 Woman: I LOVE IT. I'M VERY HAPPY. 280 00:17:22,110 --> 00:17:25,182 IF YOU LOVE IT AND YOU'RE HAPPY, THERE YOU GO. 281 00:17:25,251 --> 00:17:27,494 YOU ASK, AND THE LORD PROVIDES. 282 00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:45,340 Man: OH, YEAH. LITTLE FASTER. 283 00:17:45,409 --> 00:17:46,996 A LITTLE FASTER! 284 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,344 A LITTLE FASTER! 285 00:18:06,533 --> 00:18:07,845 OH, YEAH. 286 00:18:07,914 --> 00:18:09,674 OH, MY! 287 00:18:09,743 --> 00:18:12,505 OH, BABY, YOU WERE SO HOT! 288 00:18:12,574 --> 00:18:14,231 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. 289 00:18:38,324 --> 00:18:39,946 SIR, COULD YOU HELP ME A MINUTE, PLEASE? 290 00:18:40,015 --> 00:18:41,568 - SURE. - THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 291 00:18:41,637 --> 00:18:44,019 IF YOU COULD REACH -- I CAN'T REACH -- THAT DISH. 292 00:18:44,088 --> 00:18:46,918 SEE THAT DISH? YEAH. I JUST WANT TO KNOW. 293 00:18:46,987 --> 00:18:49,024 DO YOU THINK THAT MATCHES THAT PRETTY GOOD? 294 00:18:49,093 --> 00:18:50,508 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 295 00:18:50,577 --> 00:18:52,614 I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T THINK SO, ACTUALLY. 296 00:18:52,683 --> 00:18:54,063 REALLY? OH! 297 00:18:55,962 --> 00:18:58,965 YOU DID IT! YOU BROKE THOSE DISHES. 298 00:18:59,034 --> 00:19:00,484 - NO, I DIDN'T. - YES, YOU DID. 299 00:19:00,553 --> 00:19:03,590 YOU BROKE THE DISHES. SIR, YOU BROKE THE DISHES. 300 00:19:03,659 --> 00:19:05,903 - WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS DAMAGE? - HIM! 301 00:19:05,972 --> 00:19:07,732 NOPE. 302 00:19:07,801 --> 00:19:09,044 SIR, SOMEONE'S GONNA HAVE TO PAY FOR THIS. 303 00:19:09,113 --> 00:19:10,079 I'M GONNA SORT THIS OUT. 304 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,322 PLEASE, STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE. 305 00:19:11,391 --> 00:19:12,910 DO NOT MOVE. 306 00:19:12,979 --> 00:19:15,637 SIR! SIR! 307 00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:19,261 SIR! SIR! 308 00:19:24,749 --> 00:19:26,648 ME TOO. I WAS TRYING TO HELP HIM OUT. 309 00:19:26,717 --> 00:19:28,236 OH, MY GOODNESS! 310 00:20:01,786 --> 00:20:04,410 Man: I'M LOSING MY MIND HERE. 311 00:20:19,114 --> 00:20:21,841 WHOO! 312 00:20:27,881 --> 00:20:30,815 ONE OF THE THINGS I LOVE MOST ABOUT MY FRIENDS 313 00:20:30,884 --> 00:20:33,853 IS THAT WE HAVE SO MANY CLUBS TO KEEP BUSY WITH. 314 00:20:33,922 --> 00:20:36,027 ON MONDAYS, WE HAVE BOOK CLUB. 315 00:20:36,096 --> 00:20:38,685 ON TUESDAYS, WE HAVE COOKING CLUB. 316 00:20:38,754 --> 00:20:39,859 AND TONIGHT... 317 00:20:39,928 --> 00:20:41,964 WE HAVE FIGHT CLUB. 318 00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:45,209 AND THE FIRST RULE OF "OFF THEIR ROCKERS" FIGHT CLUB 319 00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:47,246 IS WE'RE TOO DAMN OLD FOR RULES. 320 00:20:48,730 --> 00:20:50,007 DON'T WORRY. 321 00:20:50,076 --> 00:20:51,940 THEY ALREADY TOOK THEIR TEETH OUT. 22250

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