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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:22,608 MY FEET ARE KILLING ME. 2 00:00:22,677 --> 00:00:25,163 OH. 3 00:00:25,232 --> 00:00:27,717 OH, THESE ARE HORRIBLE. 4 00:00:27,786 --> 00:00:28,994 THEY'RE KILLING ME. 5 00:00:30,685 --> 00:00:33,619 ONE, TWO. 6 00:00:35,897 --> 00:00:37,140 I HATE IT WHEN THEY WAD IT UP 7 00:00:37,209 --> 00:00:38,555 BEFORE THEY GIVE IT TO YOU, YOU KNOW? 8 00:00:38,624 --> 00:00:39,556 OH. 9 00:00:41,282 --> 00:00:43,595 REALLY, I SPEND MORE TIME 10 00:00:43,664 --> 00:00:46,218 TRYING TO FLATTEN THEM THAN GETTING THEM. 11 00:00:46,287 --> 00:00:47,599 IT'S REALLY... 12 00:00:49,773 --> 00:00:51,775 I KEEP THEM CLOSE TO MY HEART. 13 00:00:57,436 --> 00:00:58,920 OH, GOOD. 14 00:00:58,989 --> 00:01:01,440 I THOUGHT I LEFT IT IN THE CLUB. 15 00:01:01,509 --> 00:01:02,786 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 16 00:01:02,855 --> 00:01:04,167 OH, TO FRESNO. 17 00:01:04,236 --> 00:01:06,100 OH. THAT'S NICE. DO YOU LIVE THERE? 18 00:01:06,169 --> 00:01:07,515 UH, NO. I'M VISITING A FRIEND. 19 00:01:07,584 --> 00:01:09,345 OH, HAVE A GOOD TIME. 20 00:01:09,414 --> 00:01:10,449 THANKS. 21 00:01:10,518 --> 00:01:12,037 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 22 00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:14,108 WELL, NOW THAT I'VE FINISHED THIS, 23 00:01:14,177 --> 00:01:16,386 I'M GOING BACK TO THE CHURCH. 24 00:01:16,455 --> 00:01:18,112 OH. 25 00:01:18,181 --> 00:01:21,322 YOU KNOW, A GIRL HAS TO DO THE LORD'S WORK. 26 00:01:22,392 --> 00:01:25,085 BYE. HAVE A GOOD DAY. 27 00:01:46,692 --> 00:01:47,797 NAILED IT. 28 00:01:58,497 --> 00:02:00,223 AH-CHOO! 29 00:02:16,032 --> 00:02:17,378 OOH! 30 00:02:29,942 --> 00:02:31,530 MMM. 31 00:02:31,599 --> 00:02:34,602 MM. HI, THERE, AND WELCOME TO THE SHOW. 32 00:02:34,671 --> 00:02:35,948 MMM. 33 00:02:36,017 --> 00:02:37,743 EXCUSE ME FOR EATING IN FRONT OF YOU, 34 00:02:37,812 --> 00:02:40,643 BUT I'M JUST TRYING TO FINISH THIS BEFORE MY NEW TRAINER, 35 00:02:40,712 --> 00:02:42,921 BOB HARPER FROM "THE BIGGEST LOSER," 36 00:02:42,990 --> 00:02:45,544 COMES IN AND MAKES ME EAT NOTHING BUT LETTUCE. 37 00:02:45,613 --> 00:02:46,959 HI, BETTY. YOU READY TO WORK OUT? 38 00:02:47,891 --> 00:02:49,583 WHAT ARE YOU EATING? 39 00:02:49,652 --> 00:02:51,792 HOT DOGS AND LICORICE FOR LUNCH? 40 00:02:51,861 --> 00:02:54,001 NO. IT'S JUST A SNACK. 41 00:02:54,070 --> 00:02:55,105 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? 42 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,279 I'M SO GLAD YOU CALLED, 43 00:02:56,348 --> 00:02:57,522 BECAUSE I'M GONNA GET YOU HEALTHIER, OKAY? 44 00:02:57,591 --> 00:02:59,006 FIRST THING I'M GONNA DO, CHECK YOUR HEART RATE. 45 00:02:59,075 --> 00:03:00,525 OKAY. LET'S SEE. 46 00:03:00,594 --> 00:03:01,767 HOW'S THAT HOT DOG? IS IT GOOD? 47 00:03:01,836 --> 00:03:03,562 OOH. YOU LIKE IT? 48 00:03:03,631 --> 00:03:04,943 ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU LOOK GREAT. 49 00:03:05,012 --> 00:03:06,186 YOUR HEART RATE'S GOOD. 50 00:03:06,255 --> 00:03:07,773 WHAT ELSE ARE YOU EATING BESIDES THIS CRAP? 51 00:03:07,842 --> 00:03:09,085 SOMETIMES, I LIKE PIZZA. 52 00:03:09,154 --> 00:03:10,397 OF COURSE YOU DO. 53 00:03:11,674 --> 00:03:14,090 UH, SO, IF WE'RE THROUGH HERE, 54 00:03:14,159 --> 00:03:17,024 I'M JUST GONNA START ON SOME DESSERT. 55 00:03:30,037 --> 00:03:33,592 SIR, I JUST WAS WONDERING THERE WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO. 56 00:03:33,661 --> 00:03:35,456 "WE FOUND LOVE " BY RIHANNA. 57 00:03:35,525 --> 00:03:37,147 DIDN'T YOU SEE THE SIGN? 58 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,011 I DIDN'T. YEAH. YEAH. 59 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,393 I'M AFRAID I'M GONNA HAVE TO WRITE YOU UP FOR THAT. 60 00:03:41,462 --> 00:03:42,946 RIHANNA, HUH? 61 00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:44,085 YEAH. OKAY. 62 00:03:44,154 --> 00:03:46,156 BUT WHY? 63 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,124 WHY? WHY? 64 00:03:48,193 --> 00:03:50,299 WHAT HAPPENED? WHY? HOW IS THAT A RULE? 65 00:03:50,368 --> 00:03:54,475 WELL, IF IT WASN'T RIHANNA, I MIGHT LET IT SLIDE, BUT OKAY. 66 00:03:54,544 --> 00:03:55,856 IF IT WASN'T RIHANNA? 67 00:03:55,925 --> 00:03:57,409 OKAY. 68 00:03:57,478 --> 00:04:00,378 I'M REALLY GETTING A TICKET. 69 00:04:00,447 --> 00:04:01,862 ALL RIGHT. I'M GONNA HAVE TO CALL FOR BACKUP. 70 00:04:01,931 --> 00:04:03,173 ARE YOU SERIOUS? 71 00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,934 ALL RIGHT. 72 00:04:05,003 --> 00:04:07,764 REQUESTING BACKUP. YEAH. 73 00:04:07,833 --> 00:04:09,525 WHY ARE YOU CALLING FOR BACKUP? 74 00:04:09,594 --> 00:04:11,181 YEAH, I HAVE A HOSTILE MUSIC LISTENER HERE. 75 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,804 Roger that, officer 82. 76 00:04:12,873 --> 00:04:14,461 Backup is on the way. 77 00:04:14,530 --> 00:04:16,635 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. JUST STAND RIGHT HERE, SIR. 78 00:04:16,704 --> 00:04:17,912 BACKUP IS COMING. 79 00:04:27,232 --> 00:04:28,958 WHERE YOU GOING, SIR? 80 00:04:41,453 --> 00:04:44,284 I'M A LIFEGUARD. OKAY. 81 00:04:46,216 --> 00:04:47,942 HERE WE GO! 82 00:04:48,011 --> 00:04:48,943 AAH! 83 00:04:49,012 --> 00:04:50,842 I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT. 84 00:04:50,911 --> 00:04:53,534 YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU. 85 00:05:10,413 --> 00:05:12,242 OH, YOU GOT IT! YOU GOT IT! YOU GOT IT! 86 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,658 HEY! 87 00:05:13,727 --> 00:05:15,176 HEY! COME HERE! COME HERE! COME HERE! 88 00:05:15,245 --> 00:05:16,523 COME HERE! 89 00:05:16,592 --> 00:05:18,697 COME HERE! COME HERE! COME HERE! 90 00:05:18,766 --> 00:05:20,043 I GOT IT. TAKE A LOOK WHAT HE'S GOT. 91 00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:21,769 I GOT IT. LET ME GET IT. 92 00:05:21,838 --> 00:05:24,116 OH! YOU GOT IT! YOU GOT IT! HERE SHE COMES! HERE SHE COMES! 93 00:05:24,185 --> 00:05:25,255 HERE! HERE! COME HERE! 94 00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,705 LOOK AT THIS! LOOK AT THIS! 95 00:05:26,774 --> 00:05:28,604 HEY, HOLD ON TO THIS. 96 00:05:28,673 --> 00:05:29,708 I THINK SHE'S CALLING THE COPS! 97 00:05:29,777 --> 00:05:30,709 SHE'S CALLING THE COPS! 98 00:05:32,918 --> 00:05:35,887 SHE'S CALLING THE COPS! 99 00:05:38,648 --> 00:05:41,789 DID HE REALLY TAKE IT FROM SOMEONE? 100 00:05:41,858 --> 00:05:44,067 COME ON. LET'S GO. 101 00:05:46,415 --> 00:05:48,624 LOOK, WHAT BETTY WANTS, BETTY GETS. 102 00:05:48,693 --> 00:05:51,661 IT'S IMPORTANT THAT MY TEAM IS ALWAYS FULLY PREPARED, 103 00:05:51,730 --> 00:05:54,526 SO I LIKE TO KEEP THEM ON THEIR TOES. 104 00:05:56,873 --> 00:05:58,875 THIS IS ONLY A DRILL. 105 00:05:58,944 --> 00:06:02,396 GRAB YOUR VALUABLES, AND MEET ME ON THE FRONT LAWN. 106 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:05,779 ALL RIGHT. HURRY UP, MICHAEL. 107 00:06:05,848 --> 00:06:08,644 OH, GOOD. YOU GOT THE WHOOPEE CUSHION. 108 00:06:08,713 --> 00:06:11,336 UH, UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH A DEAD CHICKEN? 109 00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:13,821 OH, YEAH, GOOD. YOU GOT THE AWARDS. 110 00:06:13,890 --> 00:06:17,273 UH, UH, YOU BE CAREFUL WITH HER. 111 00:06:20,069 --> 00:06:22,451 OH, I'VE TRAINED 'EM WELL. 112 00:06:31,460 --> 00:06:32,495 EXCUSE ME. 113 00:06:32,564 --> 00:06:35,360 THIS THING COMES WITH FOUR PLATES. 114 00:06:37,051 --> 00:06:38,225 IT'S JUST ME AND MY WIFE. 115 00:06:38,294 --> 00:06:39,675 I DON'T NEED FOUR PLATES. 116 00:06:39,744 --> 00:06:41,401 I JUST NEED TWO. OH. 117 00:07:06,253 --> 00:07:10,188 OH, MY DOCTOR TOLD ME I NEED TO EAT MORE VEGETABLES. 118 00:07:10,257 --> 00:07:13,847 HE SAYS IT'S JUST AS IMPORTANT WHEN YOU'RE 90 AS WHEN YOU'RE 9. 119 00:07:13,916 --> 00:07:16,677 AHH. 120 00:07:16,746 --> 00:07:20,198 OF COURSE, IT'S A LOT MORE FUN NOW. 121 00:07:20,267 --> 00:07:21,441 MMM. 122 00:07:33,522 --> 00:07:35,040 EXCUSE ME. 123 00:07:35,109 --> 00:07:37,457 WHERE DO YOU GET THIS? 124 00:07:37,526 --> 00:07:39,320 IT'S RIGHT IN THE FRIDGE ACROSS THE STREET. 125 00:07:39,389 --> 00:07:40,494 HAVE YOU EVER BOUGHT IT BEFORE? 126 00:07:40,563 --> 00:07:41,564 YEAH. I ALWAYS BUY IT HERE. 127 00:07:41,633 --> 00:07:43,324 IT'S 10 BUCKS. IT'S REALLY GOOD. 128 00:07:43,393 --> 00:07:44,636 10 BUCKS? YEAH. 129 00:07:44,705 --> 00:07:45,879 - THAT'S PRETTY GOOD. - YEAH. 130 00:07:45,948 --> 00:07:47,294 YEAH, I THINK I'LL KEEP IT. THANKS. 131 00:07:49,365 --> 00:07:50,711 WAIT, WHAT? 132 00:08:12,457 --> 00:08:13,596 HERE'S A TEST. 133 00:08:13,665 --> 00:08:16,565 COMPLETELY FILL IN THE BUBBLES. 134 00:08:16,634 --> 00:08:21,155 YOU HAVE ONE HOUR STARTING NOW. 135 00:08:21,224 --> 00:08:23,813 WHEN I SAY PENCILS DOWN, I MEAN PENCILS DOWN. 136 00:08:45,628 --> 00:08:48,286 IS THIS WHERE ALL THE TRAINS COME IN RIGHT IN HERE? 137 00:08:48,355 --> 00:08:50,530 THIS IS FOR THE METRO, THIS HALLWAY HERE. 138 00:08:50,599 --> 00:08:51,772 AH. 139 00:08:51,841 --> 00:08:53,222 AND THEN FOR THE TRAINS, 140 00:08:53,291 --> 00:08:55,845 I BELIEVE IT'S THE LOBBY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HALLWAY. 141 00:08:55,914 --> 00:08:57,088 OH, GOOD. 142 00:08:57,157 --> 00:08:58,158 - THANK YOU, YEAH. - YOU'RE WELCOME. 143 00:08:58,227 --> 00:08:59,435 YEAH. 144 00:08:59,504 --> 00:09:01,023 I'M WAITING FOR AN OLD FRIEND 145 00:09:01,092 --> 00:09:03,715 I HAVEN'T SEEN IN... I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MANY YEARS. 146 00:09:03,784 --> 00:09:05,268 - OH. EXCITING STUFF. - YEAH. 147 00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:07,547 I KNOW. HIS NAME IS PHIL. 148 00:09:07,616 --> 00:09:08,617 WE WERE IN THE WAR TOGETHER... 149 00:09:08,686 --> 00:09:09,618 OH, WOW. 150 00:09:09,687 --> 00:09:11,033 ...A LONG TIME AGO, 151 00:09:11,102 --> 00:09:13,173 AND WE WERE REALLY THROUGH THICK AND THIN, I'LL TELL YOU. 152 00:09:13,242 --> 00:09:15,865 BUT THEN, YOU KNOW, THINGS HAPPEN. 153 00:09:15,934 --> 00:09:18,834 I HAVEN'T BEEN IN TOUCH FOR ABOUT 40 YEARS. 154 00:09:18,903 --> 00:09:22,527 10 YEARS AGO, HE CONTACTED ME. 155 00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:26,427 AND WHAT'S INTERESTING IS THAT PHIL IS NOW PHYLLIS. 156 00:09:26,496 --> 00:09:27,877 OH, INTERESTING. 157 00:09:27,946 --> 00:09:31,985 YES. HE HAD A SEX-CHANGE OPERATION. YEAH. 158 00:09:32,054 --> 00:09:34,504 AND HE PUT SOME PICTURES UP ON FACEBOOK. 159 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,852 - THAT'S SO NEAT. - I'LL TELL YOU. HE LOOKS PRETTY HOT. 160 00:09:36,921 --> 00:09:38,923 PHYLLIS LOOKS PRETTY HOT, YOU KNOW? 161 00:09:40,234 --> 00:09:42,202 THEY CAN DO AMAZING THINGS THESE DAYS. 162 00:09:42,271 --> 00:09:43,341 THEY CERTAINLY CAN. 163 00:09:43,410 --> 00:09:44,653 YEAH, AND YOU KNOW WHAT? 164 00:09:44,722 --> 00:09:46,896 I FIGURE IF I PLAY MY CARDS RIGHT, 165 00:09:46,965 --> 00:09:48,277 I MAY JUST GET LUCKY. 166 00:09:48,346 --> 00:09:49,692 OH, MY GOODNESS. 167 00:09:49,761 --> 00:09:51,038 OKAY. I'D BETTER GO. 168 00:09:51,107 --> 00:09:52,695 ALL RIGHT, SIR. YOU HAVE A GOOD ONE, ALL RIGHT? 169 00:09:52,764 --> 00:09:54,766 - DO I LOOK OKAY? - YOU CERTAINLY DO. 170 00:09:54,835 --> 00:09:56,803 - HAVE FUN WITH PHYLLIS, ALL RIGHT? - THANK YOU. 171 00:09:56,872 --> 00:09:57,838 YEAH! 172 00:09:57,907 --> 00:09:59,599 ALL RIGHT. OKAY. 173 00:09:59,668 --> 00:10:01,083 YOU HAVE A GOOD ONE, ALL RIGHT? 174 00:10:01,152 --> 00:10:02,878 YOU KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED FOR ME, WILL YA? 175 00:10:02,947 --> 00:10:05,466 I CERTAINLY WILL. OKAY. YEAH. 176 00:10:39,846 --> 00:10:42,262 WOULD YOU LIKE A COMPLIMENTARY UMBRELLA? 177 00:10:42,331 --> 00:10:43,470 OH, NO. THAT'S OKAY. 178 00:10:43,539 --> 00:10:45,265 HERE YOU GO. 179 00:10:45,334 --> 00:10:48,337 KNOCK YOURSELF OUT. 180 00:10:48,406 --> 00:10:51,340 WOULD YOU LIKE A COMPLIMENTARY UMBRELLA? 181 00:10:52,168 --> 00:10:53,756 NO TROUBLE AT ALL. 182 00:10:53,825 --> 00:10:56,379 ENJOY IT. 183 00:10:56,448 --> 00:10:57,726 STAY DRY. 184 00:11:14,984 --> 00:11:17,021 HI. WELCOME BACK. 185 00:11:17,090 --> 00:11:18,954 YOU CAUGHT ME ABOUT TO INDULGE 186 00:11:19,023 --> 00:11:20,887 IN ONE OF MY GUILTIEST PLEASURES -- 187 00:11:20,956 --> 00:11:22,647 EATING CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES 188 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,718 WHILE WATCHING "THE BIGGEST LOSER." 189 00:11:24,787 --> 00:11:26,064 I'M ALWAYS AFRAID 190 00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:28,895 BOB HARPER'S GONNA YELL AT ME FOR EATING SWEETS. 191 00:11:28,964 --> 00:11:31,656 BETTY WHITE, ARE THOSE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES? 192 00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:34,624 OH, YES, BUT THEY'RE SUGAR AND GLUTEN FREE. 193 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:35,902 OH, IN THAT CASE, CAN I HAVE SOME? 194 00:11:35,971 --> 00:11:37,075 OH. 195 00:11:37,144 --> 00:11:38,456 THANK YOU. 196 00:11:38,525 --> 00:11:41,804 YOU KNOW WHAT ANOTHER ONE OF MY GUILTY PLEASURES IS? 197 00:11:41,873 --> 00:11:44,048 FIBBING TO MY TRAINER. 198 00:11:51,227 --> 00:11:52,470 EXCUSE ME. 199 00:11:52,539 --> 00:11:53,920 I FORGOT MY GLASSES. 200 00:11:53,989 --> 00:11:55,507 CAN YOU READ THIS FOR ME? 201 00:11:55,576 --> 00:11:57,095 UH-HUH. IT SAYS, "HEY, BABE. 202 00:11:57,164 --> 00:12:00,409 DID YOU FIND A GOOD CHICK FOR OUR THREESOME?" 203 00:12:00,478 --> 00:12:02,204 THREESOME? OH! 204 00:12:03,377 --> 00:12:04,482 OH, MY GOD. 205 00:12:04,551 --> 00:12:06,139 WHAT ARE YOU DOING LATER? 206 00:12:22,534 --> 00:12:24,571 HI. HOW YOU DOING? 207 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:25,572 NICE BENCH. 208 00:12:25,641 --> 00:12:27,885 PLEASE. OH, THANK YOU. 209 00:12:27,954 --> 00:12:30,232 UH, EXCUSE ME A MINUTE. CAN I ASK YOU A FAVOR? 210 00:12:30,301 --> 00:12:31,474 WHAT IS IT? 211 00:12:31,543 --> 00:12:32,924 A YEAR AGO, 212 00:12:32,993 --> 00:12:35,375 MY WIFE DIED RIGHT IN THAT SPOT WHERE YOU'RE SITTING. 213 00:12:35,444 --> 00:12:36,652 DO YOU MIND IF I...? 214 00:12:36,721 --> 00:12:38,171 PLEASE. OKAY. 215 00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:40,311 OKAY, JUST SIT OVER HERE. THAT WOULD BE GREAT. 216 00:12:40,380 --> 00:12:43,038 OH, THANK YOU SO MUCH. THIS IS VERY SACRED TO ME. 217 00:12:43,107 --> 00:12:44,108 THIS WAS THE SPOT. 218 00:12:44,177 --> 00:12:45,385 WELL, NO PROBLEM. 219 00:12:45,454 --> 00:12:46,524 NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? 220 00:12:46,593 --> 00:12:48,146 I HATE -- 221 00:12:48,215 --> 00:12:49,492 MAYBE IT WAS THAT SPOT. 222 00:12:49,561 --> 00:12:52,219 CAN I CHANGE WITH YOU AGAIN? THAT WOULD BE REALLY GREAT. 223 00:12:52,288 --> 00:12:54,187 I'LL TRY THIS ONE. 224 00:12:54,256 --> 00:12:55,809 WELL, THANK YOU. 225 00:12:55,878 --> 00:12:57,362 OH, YOU'RE REALLY, REALLY, REALLY VERY KIND. 226 00:12:57,431 --> 00:12:59,640 YOU KNOW, SHE JUST PASSED AWAY A YEAR AGO, 227 00:12:59,709 --> 00:13:01,332 SO I CAME HERE WITH A MEMORIAL. 228 00:13:01,401 --> 00:13:03,575 BUT THIS DOESN'T FEEL -- 229 00:13:03,644 --> 00:13:05,370 DO YOU MIND IF WE CHANGE AGAIN? 230 00:13:06,613 --> 00:13:08,063 I DON'T MEAN -- IT'LL BE BETTER FOR ME. 231 00:13:08,132 --> 00:13:11,376 BUT I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT I GET THE RIGHT FEELING, 232 00:13:11,445 --> 00:13:13,033 BECAUSE WHEN I GET THE RIGHT FEELING, 233 00:13:13,102 --> 00:13:15,070 THEN I'M GONNA SAY SOME PRAYERS AND STUFF LIKE THAT. 234 00:13:15,139 --> 00:13:16,968 - YOU WANT TO GIVE ME YOUR HAND? - I'LL GIVE YOU A HAND. 235 00:13:17,037 --> 00:13:18,487 BUT, WELL, HO-- WAIT A MINUTE. 236 00:13:18,556 --> 00:13:19,799 - YOU KNOW WHAT? - IS IT THIS SEAT? 237 00:13:19,868 --> 00:13:22,560 IT'S THAT SPOT. I CAN FEEL IT. 238 00:13:22,629 --> 00:13:23,872 IT'S IN MY CRAW. 239 00:13:23,941 --> 00:13:25,183 YOU CAN SIT WHEREVER YOU WANT. 240 00:13:25,252 --> 00:13:27,151 I KNOW, BUT YOU'RE VERY KIND. 241 00:13:27,220 --> 00:13:28,738 I JUST GOT TO GET THE RIGHT FEELING, 242 00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,879 BECAUSE IT WAS A VERY IMPORTANT MOMENT IN MY LIFE. 243 00:13:30,948 --> 00:13:32,087 YOU UNDERSTAND? 244 00:13:32,156 --> 00:13:33,916 AND I THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THAT. 245 00:13:33,985 --> 00:13:35,711 BUT THIS -- THIS... 246 00:13:35,780 --> 00:13:37,506 YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S THIS SPOT? 247 00:13:37,575 --> 00:13:38,921 THAT ONE. I GOT TO CHANGE IT. 248 00:13:38,990 --> 00:13:41,061 THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 249 00:13:41,130 --> 00:13:43,650 THIS IS THE ONE THAT FEELS THE BEST. 250 00:13:43,719 --> 00:13:45,203 MAYBE IT WAS OVER MORE TO THE LEFT 251 00:13:45,272 --> 00:13:46,549 LIKE THIS, LIKE THAT. 252 00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:47,999 WILL YOU PLEASE SIT DOWN? 253 00:13:48,068 --> 00:13:50,415 I DON'T WANT TO TAKE YOUR SEAT, YOU KNOW? 254 00:13:50,484 --> 00:13:51,969 YOU KNOW WHAT? 255 00:13:52,038 --> 00:13:54,109 I -- WHAT BEACH IS THIS? 256 00:13:54,178 --> 00:13:55,696 - THIS IS VENICE BEACH. - VENICE BEACH. 257 00:13:55,765 --> 00:13:57,526 YOU KNOW, I THINK WAS HERMOSA BEACH. 258 00:13:57,595 --> 00:13:59,148 I THINK I'VE GOT THE WRONG BEACH! 259 00:13:59,217 --> 00:14:02,738 I'LL SEE YOU LATER, OKAY? THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 260 00:14:19,065 --> 00:14:20,100 HI. 261 00:14:20,169 --> 00:14:21,170 HEY, THERE. 262 00:14:21,239 --> 00:14:23,034 I NEED AN IMPARTIAL JUDGE. 263 00:14:24,587 --> 00:14:26,382 WILL YOU DO IT? OKAY. 264 00:14:26,451 --> 00:14:29,144 READY, LANE 1, LANE 2. 265 00:14:29,213 --> 00:14:30,973 GO! 266 00:14:32,975 --> 00:14:34,666 HEY. HEY. YOU'RE CHEATING! 267 00:14:34,735 --> 00:14:37,083 I GOT YOU! I GOT YOU! 268 00:14:37,152 --> 00:14:38,498 I GOT YOU! 269 00:14:38,567 --> 00:14:41,501 I GOT YOU! I GOT YOU! 270 00:14:41,570 --> 00:14:43,020 I GOT YOU! 271 00:14:43,089 --> 00:14:44,055 WHO DO YOU THINK WON? 272 00:14:44,124 --> 00:14:45,677 IT WAS CLOSE. 273 00:14:59,415 --> 00:15:00,347 HOW ARE YOU LADIES DOING? 274 00:15:00,416 --> 00:15:01,590 GOOD. HOW ARE YOU? 275 00:15:01,659 --> 00:15:03,523 EXCELLENT. 276 00:15:03,592 --> 00:15:06,043 UH, I SEE YOU'RE ENJOYING A NICE SUB SANDWICH. 277 00:15:06,112 --> 00:15:07,354 YEAH. 278 00:15:07,423 --> 00:15:09,874 YOU KNOW, I HAVE A UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU. 279 00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:12,325 THE PRESIDENT WOULD LIKE TO MEET YOU. 280 00:15:13,636 --> 00:15:14,637 IS THAT SO? 281 00:15:14,706 --> 00:15:15,638 THAT IS SO. 282 00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:16,639 WOW. WHERE IS HE? 283 00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:17,882 WHERE IS HE? 284 00:15:17,951 --> 00:15:19,608 I SHOULD ASK YOU A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS FIRST. 285 00:15:19,677 --> 00:15:21,334 ARE YOU CURRENTLY EMPLOYED? 286 00:15:21,403 --> 00:15:22,922 - YEAH. - OKAY. 287 00:15:22,991 --> 00:15:24,440 AND YOU'RE IN REASONABLY GOOD HEALTH? 288 00:15:24,509 --> 00:15:26,028 YES. EXCELLENT. 289 00:15:26,097 --> 00:15:27,167 COLLEGE STUDENTS? 290 00:15:27,236 --> 00:15:28,651 YES. LOVELY. 291 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,515 GREAT CANDIDATES. 292 00:15:31,654 --> 00:15:37,350 UH, MR. PRESIDENT, CAN YOU COME IN PLEASE? 293 00:15:37,419 --> 00:15:39,007 OKAY, SEND HIM IN. 294 00:15:40,318 --> 00:15:41,733 HERE HE COMES. 295 00:15:41,802 --> 00:15:43,459 - HERE'S THE PRESIDENT. - HELLO. HOW ARE YOU? 296 00:15:43,528 --> 00:15:46,324 HI. I'M PRESIDENT OF THE WASHINGTON, D.C... 297 00:15:46,393 --> 00:15:47,670 OKAY. 298 00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:49,155 ...CONDO ASSOCIATION. 299 00:15:49,224 --> 00:15:51,019 - HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD. HOW ARE YOU? 300 00:15:51,088 --> 00:15:53,573 HAVE YOU BEEN THINKING ABOUT RETIREMENT? 301 00:15:53,642 --> 00:15:55,575 WELL, WE'RE HAVING 302 00:15:55,644 --> 00:15:57,784 A REAL WONDERFUL PARTY ON SATURDAY NIGHT, 303 00:15:57,853 --> 00:15:59,855 AND WE'D LIKE YOU TO COME. 304 00:15:59,924 --> 00:16:02,133 HERE'S SOME BROCHURES. 305 00:16:14,490 --> 00:16:15,422 HELLO, THERE. 306 00:16:16,941 --> 00:16:18,287 OH, EXCUSE ME. 307 00:16:18,356 --> 00:16:19,875 THAT'S THE BETTY PHONE. 308 00:16:19,944 --> 00:16:21,739 HELLO? 309 00:16:21,808 --> 00:16:24,086 OH, HI, ROBERT. 310 00:16:24,155 --> 00:16:26,364 Pattinson. 311 00:16:26,433 --> 00:16:29,747 YE-- CALM DOWN. 312 00:16:29,816 --> 00:16:31,507 CALM DOWN. 313 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:36,961 GET IN YOUR CAR, RACE TO THE NEAREST DRUG STORE, 314 00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:41,448 BUY THREE CANS OF THE STRONGEST HAIR SPRAY YOU CAN FIND. 315 00:16:41,517 --> 00:16:43,795 SPRAY FOR AT LEAST 10 MINUTES. 316 00:16:43,864 --> 00:16:44,796 UH-HUH. 317 00:16:44,865 --> 00:16:46,246 YEAH, AFTER THAT, 318 00:16:46,315 --> 00:16:49,077 NOTHING WILL MOVE THAT BEAUTIFUL MANE OF YOURS AGAIN. 319 00:16:49,146 --> 00:16:51,148 OH. OH. 320 00:16:51,217 --> 00:16:53,012 OKAY. 321 00:16:53,081 --> 00:16:56,256 GOOD LUCK, YOU SPARKLY LITTLE VAMPIRE, YOU. 322 00:16:58,845 --> 00:17:00,847 CELEBRITY EMERGENCY. 323 00:17:12,307 --> 00:17:13,860 YEAH. 324 00:17:13,929 --> 00:17:15,482 DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING. COME ON. 325 00:17:15,551 --> 00:17:16,656 JUMP IN. WIGGLE! WIGGLE! 326 00:17:16,725 --> 00:17:17,864 JUMP IN. WE'RE DOING THE WIGGLE. 327 00:17:17,933 --> 00:17:19,866 OOH! THEY'RE GOOD. 328 00:17:19,935 --> 00:17:20,901 YEAH, THE WIGGLE. 329 00:17:20,970 --> 00:17:22,213 OH! 330 00:17:22,282 --> 00:17:24,526 THANK YOU! 331 00:17:24,595 --> 00:17:26,459 WHOO! 332 00:17:28,599 --> 00:17:30,049 OH, YEAH! 333 00:17:30,118 --> 00:17:31,119 YOU GUYS ARE GOLD! 334 00:17:31,188 --> 00:17:32,396 THAT WAS SO GREAT. 335 00:17:32,465 --> 00:17:34,605 HEY! THANK YOU! 336 00:17:37,263 --> 00:17:38,850 THANK YOU! 337 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,722 E-E-EXCUSE ME. 338 00:17:48,791 --> 00:17:50,448 I FIXED YOUR DRINKS IN THE BACK, YOU KNOW, 339 00:17:50,517 --> 00:17:52,105 AND I LOST MY BAND-AID, 340 00:17:52,174 --> 00:17:53,762 SO I'M JUST WONDERING IF IT'S IN HERE OR SOMETHING, 341 00:17:53,831 --> 00:17:55,384 JUST LIKE IN THE BACK. 342 00:17:55,453 --> 00:17:57,524 MAYBE IT'S IN THIS ONE RIGHT HERE. 343 00:17:57,593 --> 00:18:00,217 ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? 344 00:18:00,286 --> 00:18:02,115 UH, I -- OH, NO. 345 00:18:02,184 --> 00:18:03,841 - LOOK, I'M SORRY. - IT'S STILL THERE. 346 00:18:03,910 --> 00:18:05,981 OH, YOU KNOW, BETTER SAFE THAN SORRY, RIGHT? 347 00:18:07,431 --> 00:18:08,811 I'M NOT DRINKING THIS. 348 00:18:10,227 --> 00:18:12,125 I'M NOT DRINKING THIS. 349 00:18:12,194 --> 00:18:14,576 THE GEEZER PUT HIS HAND IN MY DRINK. 350 00:18:16,405 --> 00:18:18,131 I'M NOT DRINKING THIS, AND MY TABLE'S A MESS. 351 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,281 EXCUSE ME, SIR. 352 00:18:30,350 --> 00:18:31,696 I FORGOT MY GLASSES. 353 00:18:31,765 --> 00:18:34,251 I TOOK THIS TEST, AND WOULD YOU MIND READING IT FOR ME? 354 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,115 OH, OF COURSE. 355 00:18:38,013 --> 00:18:39,118 CONGRATULATIONS. 356 00:18:39,187 --> 00:18:41,258 WHY? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 357 00:18:41,327 --> 00:18:42,500 IT'S POSITIVE, MA'AM. 358 00:18:42,569 --> 00:18:44,053 WH-- WHAT? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 359 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,952 YOU'RE PREGNANT, MA'AM. 360 00:18:46,021 --> 00:18:48,403 NO! 361 00:18:48,472 --> 00:18:50,129 I CAN'T BE PREGNANT AGAIN. 362 00:18:50,198 --> 00:18:51,130 WHAT? 363 00:18:51,199 --> 00:18:52,683 OH, MY GOD! 364 00:18:52,752 --> 00:18:53,718 OH, MY GOD. 365 00:18:53,787 --> 00:18:55,134 WHOA, HOLD ON. HOLD ON. 366 00:18:55,203 --> 00:18:57,136 SOMETIMES I'VE HEARD OF FALSE READINGS. 367 00:18:57,205 --> 00:18:58,723 THESE ARE NOT ALWAYS ACCURATE. 368 00:18:58,792 --> 00:19:00,000 BUT I WANTED TO GO TO SCHOOL. 369 00:19:00,069 --> 00:19:02,313 I WANTED TO GO BACK TO COLLEGE! 370 00:19:02,382 --> 00:19:03,970 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! 371 00:19:04,039 --> 00:19:05,730 MA'AM, CHECK WITH THE CLINIC, AND YOU'LL BE OKAY. 372 00:19:05,799 --> 00:19:06,835 OKAY. 373 00:19:06,904 --> 00:19:08,077 TRUST ME, CHECK WITH THE CLINIC. 374 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,182 OH! 375 00:19:10,597 --> 00:19:12,220 OH! 376 00:19:25,888 --> 00:19:27,683 OH. 377 00:19:28,512 --> 00:19:29,582 THANK YOU. 378 00:19:29,651 --> 00:19:30,790 NO PROBLEM. 379 00:19:30,859 --> 00:19:35,070 I NEED SOME 2x4s, SOME GALVANIZED BOLTS, 380 00:19:35,139 --> 00:19:38,038 SOME SHEETROCK, SOME DRYWALL SCREWS, 381 00:19:38,107 --> 00:19:40,834 AND A TAPE MEASURE, ALL RIGHT? 382 00:19:42,664 --> 00:19:45,494 WHEN YOU GET IT, DIAL 55. 383 00:19:45,563 --> 00:19:48,739 IT'S A BURNER PHONE. JUST THROW IT IN THE TRASH. 384 00:19:48,808 --> 00:19:52,087 I'LL MEET YOU HERE, AND I'LL PAY YOU, OKAY? 385 00:19:52,156 --> 00:19:54,054 OH, AND A DOZEN EGGS. 386 00:19:54,123 --> 00:19:57,126 MY WIFE, SHE'LL KILL ME IF I DON'T BRING THOSE HOME. 387 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,818 OKAY. 388 00:20:11,658 --> 00:20:12,901 YOU KNOW, I'VE KEPT 389 00:20:12,970 --> 00:20:15,421 SO MANY OF MY WONDERFUL COSTUMES OVER THE YEARS, 390 00:20:15,490 --> 00:20:18,113 BUT I THINK IT MIGHT BE TIME TO DONATE SOME. 391 00:20:18,182 --> 00:20:21,220 I JUST CAN'T DECIDE WHAT TO DONATE AND WHAT TO KEEP. 392 00:20:22,393 --> 00:20:25,569 BETTY, I THINK THIS CALLS FOR A... 393 00:20:25,638 --> 00:20:27,881 MOVIE MONTAGE! 394 00:20:29,504 --> 00:20:31,678 THIS WAS MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE PANTSUIT 395 00:20:31,747 --> 00:20:33,473 ON "THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW." 396 00:20:33,542 --> 00:20:34,716 KEEP! KEEP! 397 00:20:34,785 --> 00:20:36,856 I WORE THIS BIG-SHOULDERED DRESS 398 00:20:36,925 --> 00:20:39,686 IN ONE OF MY FAVORITE EPISODES ON "THE GOLDEN GIRLS." 399 00:20:39,755 --> 00:20:42,241 DONATE. DONATE. 400 00:20:42,310 --> 00:20:44,484 HOW ABOUT THIS ONE? 401 00:20:45,451 --> 00:20:47,142 DONATE. 402 00:20:47,211 --> 00:20:48,799 KEEP. 403 00:20:49,938 --> 00:20:52,251 GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY. 26803

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