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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,119 --> 00:00:18,018 HEY, GUY. HEY, BUDDY. 2 00:00:18,087 --> 00:00:21,814 CAN YOU TELL ME, IS THERE A CAR BEHIND ME? 3 00:00:21,883 --> 00:00:22,815 THERE'S A CAR RIGHT THERE. 4 00:00:22,884 --> 00:00:24,058 OH, NO? OKAY. OKAY. 5 00:00:24,127 --> 00:00:25,094 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! 6 00:00:25,163 --> 00:00:26,302 STOP, STOP, STOP! 7 00:00:27,786 --> 00:00:29,236 STOP. DAMN. 8 00:00:31,686 --> 00:00:33,067 NO, I SAID THERE WAS A CAR RIGHT THERE. 9 00:00:33,136 --> 00:00:34,137 THANKS A LOT, BUDDY. 10 00:00:53,501 --> 00:00:54,916 NAILED IT. 11 00:01:05,651 --> 00:01:06,687 AH-CHOO! 12 00:01:22,668 --> 00:01:23,704 OH! 13 00:01:36,613 --> 00:01:38,684 OH, HI, THERE. I'M BETTY WHITE. 14 00:01:38,753 --> 00:01:40,410 WELCOME TO MY CRIB. 15 00:01:44,690 --> 00:01:46,727 THIS IS THE KITCHEN. 16 00:01:46,796 --> 00:01:50,040 THE FRIDGE IS FULLY STOCKED WITH ENERGY DRINKS 17 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:53,043 AND GLUTEN-FREE MAC 'N' CHEESE. 18 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:57,047 UH, THOSE ARE...FOR THE DOG. 19 00:02:01,017 --> 00:02:03,502 THIS IS MY STATE-OF-THE-ART AQUARIUM 20 00:02:03,571 --> 00:02:06,540 AND MY PRICELESS TROPICAL FISH COLLECTION. 21 00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:12,097 AND THIS IS WHERE THE MAGIC HAPPENS. 22 00:02:20,968 --> 00:02:23,729 WHAT DID YOU THINK I MEANT? 23 00:02:35,534 --> 00:02:36,811 EXCUSE ME. 24 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:38,951 COULD -- COULD YOU GIVE ME A HAND HERE? 25 00:02:39,020 --> 00:02:41,368 I BORROWED THIS THING FROM MY GRANDSON. 26 00:02:41,437 --> 00:02:44,233 HE LOANED IT TO ME, AND I HOOKED IT UP TO MY COMPUTER, 27 00:02:44,302 --> 00:02:46,821 AND I HAD SOME WEBSITES THAT I WAS LOOKING AT, 28 00:02:46,890 --> 00:02:49,514 AND SOME OF MY PICTURES GOT ON THIS -- HIS THING, 29 00:02:49,583 --> 00:02:51,032 AND I'M MEETING HIM IN JUST A FEW MINUTES. 30 00:02:51,101 --> 00:02:53,000 COULD YOU SEE IF YOU COULD DELETE SOME FOR ME? 31 00:02:53,069 --> 00:02:54,174 I'M HAVING A HECK OF A TIME. 32 00:02:54,243 --> 00:02:55,658 DO YOU KNOW HOW -- YOU GOT TO TURN IT ON. 33 00:02:55,727 --> 00:02:57,349 OKAY, YEAH, I KNOW HOW TO DO THAT. 34 00:02:57,418 --> 00:02:59,972 HIT THAT THING. AND, THEN, I KNOW I UNLOCK IT LIKE THAT. 35 00:03:00,041 --> 00:03:01,422 YEAH, OH, OKAY, THERE IT IS. 36 00:03:01,491 --> 00:03:02,837 - OH, MY GOD. - I KNOW. 37 00:03:02,906 --> 00:03:04,943 SOME SITES THAT I -- I HOPE IT DOESN'T EMBARRASS YOU. 38 00:03:06,324 --> 00:03:08,326 OKAY, SO HOW CAN I -- I DON'T KNOW. 39 00:03:08,395 --> 00:03:10,397 DO YOU KNOW HOW TO GET TO THE PHOTO PART? 40 00:03:10,466 --> 00:03:12,571 GO TO "HOT STUFF." 41 00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:14,124 OH, THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT. THAT'S IT. 42 00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,471 YEAH, BUT WHY -- WHY... 43 00:03:16,817 --> 00:03:18,853 I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW. 44 00:03:18,922 --> 00:03:21,201 FROM WHAT I KNOW, YOU'RE GONNA PRESS THERE, 45 00:03:21,270 --> 00:03:22,202 AND YOU'RE GONNA GO BACK HERE. 46 00:03:22,271 --> 00:03:23,824 OH, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. 47 00:03:23,893 --> 00:03:24,859 "HOT STUFF," OKAY. 48 00:03:24,928 --> 00:03:26,447 OH, MY GOSH. OH, OKAY. 49 00:03:26,516 --> 00:03:27,448 IT GETS WORSE? 50 00:03:27,517 --> 00:03:28,587 IT GETS A LITTLE BIT WORSE. 51 00:03:28,656 --> 00:03:31,314 OKAY, SO, PULL DOWN THE ALBUMS. OH, MY GOSH. 52 00:03:31,383 --> 00:03:33,661 OH, WOW! OH, WOW! 53 00:03:33,730 --> 00:03:35,491 YEAH, IT GETS MUCH WORSE. 54 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:36,492 I GOT TO MEET HIM. 55 00:03:36,561 --> 00:03:38,148 I DON'T KNOW HOW -- 56 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,840 TO, UH -- HOLD ON. 57 00:03:39,909 --> 00:03:41,151 ALL RIGHT. OH, THERE YOU GO. 58 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,119 THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR HELP. 59 00:03:43,188 --> 00:03:44,707 OKAY. THANK YOU. 60 00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:10,698 EXCUSE ME, GUYS, COULD YOU COME OVER FOR JUST A SECOND? 61 00:04:10,767 --> 00:04:12,044 I NEED A LITTLE HELP. 62 00:04:12,113 --> 00:04:13,563 DO YOU KNOW IF THERE'S AN AREA 63 00:04:13,632 --> 00:04:16,325 WHERE YOU CAN JUST GET SOME REST FOR A WHILE, 64 00:04:16,394 --> 00:04:18,741 THE GROUND'S ARE A LITTLE SOFT, YOU CAN JUST REST? 65 00:04:18,810 --> 00:04:21,571 RIGHT THERE. YOGA PARK RIGHT THERE. 66 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:22,848 YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M SO TIRED. 67 00:04:22,917 --> 00:04:24,712 WOULD YOU JUST HELP ME LIFT THIS UP ON HERE? 68 00:04:24,781 --> 00:04:25,851 OKAY. 69 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:27,370 HELP! HELP ME! 70 00:04:27,439 --> 00:04:28,475 SHE'S CRAZY! 71 00:04:28,544 --> 00:04:30,753 OKAY. HE'S YOUR PROBLEM NOW. 72 00:04:30,822 --> 00:04:33,963 AAAAAAAAAH! 73 00:04:40,452 --> 00:04:42,592 HEY, BETTY, WHAT YOU DOING? 74 00:04:42,661 --> 00:04:44,767 I WAS JUST RESEARCHING MY FAMILY TREE, 75 00:04:44,836 --> 00:04:46,389 AND I WAS DELIGHTED TO DISCOVER 76 00:04:46,458 --> 00:04:48,184 YOU AND I ARE DISTANT COUSINS. 77 00:04:48,253 --> 00:04:50,220 OH, MY GOD. REALLY? 78 00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,739 OH, YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS. 79 00:04:51,808 --> 00:04:54,708 NOW I'M JUST ONE STEP AWAY FROM YOUR BOYFRIEND. 80 00:04:54,777 --> 00:04:57,504 YOU KARDASHIANS SHARE EVERYTHING, RIGHT? 81 00:04:57,573 --> 00:04:58,953 BACK OFF, BETTY. 82 00:04:59,022 --> 00:05:00,990 OH, A FAMILY FEUD. 83 00:05:02,371 --> 00:05:05,581 I JUST LOVE BEING A KARDASHIAN. 84 00:05:13,761 --> 00:05:14,969 SIR? 85 00:05:15,038 --> 00:05:16,626 COULD YOU HELP ME A MINUTE, PLEASE? 86 00:05:16,695 --> 00:05:19,008 I'M HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE TRYING TO DIAL THIS THING. 87 00:05:19,077 --> 00:05:20,803 OKAY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 88 00:05:20,872 --> 00:05:22,701 WOULD YOU JUST, YOU KNOW, PUNCH IN THE NUMBER FOR ME? 89 00:05:22,770 --> 00:05:23,978 AND THEN PUT "SEND." 90 00:05:24,047 --> 00:05:25,704 OKAY. HERE, HERE. HOLD ON TO IT. 91 00:05:25,773 --> 00:05:27,913 IT'S 4-0-7... 92 00:05:27,982 --> 00:05:29,259 4-0-7... 93 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,330 ...6-2-9... 94 00:05:30,399 --> 00:05:31,641 ...6-2-9... 95 00:05:31,710 --> 00:05:33,471 ...4-0-7... 96 00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:34,610 4-0-7 AGAIN? 97 00:05:34,679 --> 00:05:36,163 YEAH, 4-0-7 AGAIN. 98 00:05:36,232 --> 00:05:39,131 AND THEN 1-1-1. 99 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,236 THAT'S NOT -- 100 00:05:40,305 --> 00:05:41,479 YEAH, BUT IT IS FOR ME, ANYWAY. 101 00:05:41,548 --> 00:05:42,514 THEN PRESS "SEND." 102 00:05:42,583 --> 00:05:44,516 SEND...SEND -- SENT. OKAY, GREAT. 103 00:05:44,585 --> 00:05:45,966 NOW, LOOK. JUST TAKE A LOOK AT THAT. 104 00:05:46,932 --> 00:05:48,969 OH. WHAT THE -- 105 00:05:49,038 --> 00:05:50,833 AND THEY CAN'T CATCH ME. YOU KNOW WHY? 106 00:05:50,902 --> 00:05:54,388 BECAUSE YOUR FINGERPRINTS ARE ON THIS. 107 00:05:54,457 --> 00:05:55,803 YES. 108 00:05:55,872 --> 00:05:58,081 YES. 109 00:05:58,910 --> 00:06:00,774 I'VE BEEN A BAD BOY. 110 00:06:04,847 --> 00:06:06,055 ARE WE RICH NOW? 111 00:06:13,580 --> 00:06:15,513 OOH! THAT'S GOOD. 112 00:06:15,582 --> 00:06:17,411 NO. YES. 113 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:19,102 WHERE'S BETTY? BEATS ME. 114 00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:20,276 I DON'T KNOW. 115 00:06:20,345 --> 00:06:22,485 SHE SAID SHE'D BE DROPPING IN ABOUT NOW. 116 00:06:24,625 --> 00:06:28,249 OH. WELL, THAT WAS FUN. 117 00:06:28,318 --> 00:06:31,080 NOW I CAN CROSS TWO THINGS OFF MY BUCKET LIST. 118 00:06:31,149 --> 00:06:32,495 SKYDIVING AND? 119 00:06:32,564 --> 00:06:36,223 OH, I JOINED THE MILE-HIGH CLUB WHILE I WAS UP THERE, TOO. 120 00:06:36,292 --> 00:06:37,431 YES! 121 00:06:37,500 --> 00:06:39,744 DEAL ME IN. 122 00:06:49,926 --> 00:06:51,341 GOOD MORNING. 123 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,342 HI. 124 00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:53,896 AH, I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU, 125 00:06:53,965 --> 00:06:58,279 WE DON'T ALLOW THE DOWNLOADING OF PORNOGRAPHY ON OUR WI-FI, 126 00:06:58,348 --> 00:07:02,007 SO I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOU TO CANCEL WHAT YOU HAVE ON NOW. 127 00:07:02,076 --> 00:07:03,043 I DON'T HAVE PORN. 128 00:07:03,112 --> 00:07:04,182 WELL... 129 00:07:04,251 --> 00:07:06,495 I'M ON FACEBOOK, E-MAILING MY FRIENDS. 130 00:07:06,564 --> 00:07:10,913 WELL, I'M SURE YOU DON'T "DOWNLOAD" PORNOGRAPHY, BUT -- 131 00:07:10,982 --> 00:07:11,983 ARE YOU JOKING RIGHT NOW? 132 00:07:12,052 --> 00:07:13,674 NO, I'M NOT JOKING. 133 00:07:13,743 --> 00:07:15,296 YOU CAN LOOK AT MY PHONE. 134 00:07:15,365 --> 00:07:16,919 WE HAVE A MONITOR IN THE BACK 135 00:07:16,988 --> 00:07:18,955 THAT SAYS WHAT PEOPLE ARE WATCHING. 136 00:07:19,024 --> 00:07:20,750 I ABSOLUTELY SWEAR TO GOD. 137 00:07:20,819 --> 00:07:24,098 WELL, I'M JUST LETTING YOU KNOW WE DON'T ALLOW IT. 138 00:07:24,167 --> 00:07:26,722 I SWEAR TO GOD, SIR. 139 00:07:26,791 --> 00:07:30,242 I DON'T DOWNLOAD PORNOGRAPHY WHEN MY WIFE IS OUT OF TOWN, 140 00:07:30,311 --> 00:07:32,797 BUT LISTEN, I'M JUST -- 141 00:07:32,866 --> 00:07:36,214 THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING, SO JUST ENJOY YOUR COFFEE. 142 00:07:49,710 --> 00:07:51,609 DID YOU GUYS EAT HERE? 143 00:07:51,678 --> 00:07:52,748 NO. 144 00:07:52,817 --> 00:07:55,095 THE PRICES ARE SO OUTRAGEOUS. 145 00:07:55,164 --> 00:07:56,545 OH, YEAH. 146 00:07:56,614 --> 00:07:58,650 I HAVE A REALLY GOOD DEAL FOR YOU. 147 00:07:58,719 --> 00:08:00,134 YOU WANT TO BUY A HOT DOG? 148 00:08:00,203 --> 00:08:01,791 OH, NO, THANK YOU. OKAY? 149 00:08:01,860 --> 00:08:02,965 JUST $1.50. 150 00:08:03,034 --> 00:08:05,899 $1.50. OKAY? 151 00:08:05,968 --> 00:08:07,383 I GOT BUNS. 152 00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,456 $1 FOR THE BUNS, $1.50. 153 00:08:11,525 --> 00:08:13,493 I'M A FULL-SERVICE GUY. 154 00:08:13,562 --> 00:08:16,806 HEY, I GOT CONDIMENTS IN MY POCKET. 155 00:08:16,875 --> 00:08:18,394 YOU SURE? 156 00:08:19,913 --> 00:08:22,398 IF YOU GIRLS GET HUNGRY, JUST CHECK FOR ME LATER. 157 00:08:22,467 --> 00:08:24,365 I'LL BE THE GUY IN THE TRENCH COAT, OKAY? 158 00:08:24,434 --> 00:08:25,470 THANKS A LOT. 159 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,859 HOT DOGS! 160 00:08:49,701 --> 00:08:51,392 HI. HI. 161 00:08:51,461 --> 00:08:52,462 HOW'S YOUR DAY GOING? 162 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:54,810 IT'S GOING GOOD. HOW ABOUT YOU? 163 00:08:54,879 --> 00:08:56,190 I STARTED WITH A COLD SHOWER 164 00:08:56,259 --> 00:08:59,297 BECAUSE I DIDN'T HAVE ANY WATER -- HOT WATER. 165 00:08:59,366 --> 00:09:01,541 AND THEN I COULDN'T FIND MY CAT, 166 00:09:01,610 --> 00:09:03,543 AND THEN THE CONVENT TEXTED ME 167 00:09:03,612 --> 00:09:06,235 AND TOLD ME THAT I WAS LATE FOR A MEETING. 168 00:09:06,304 --> 00:09:08,099 MY LIFE! 169 00:09:10,204 --> 00:09:12,655 OH, MY GOSH. I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID THAT. 170 00:09:12,724 --> 00:09:16,486 I HAVE NEVER SAID A SWEAR WORD BEFORE NOW. 171 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,212 SORRY. THAT'S OKAY. 172 00:09:18,281 --> 00:09:19,420 NO, IT'S NOT. 173 00:09:20,905 --> 00:09:22,907 - DO YOU SWEAR? - NOT REALLY. 174 00:09:22,976 --> 00:09:26,151 WELL, IF YOU DID, WOULD YOU SAY A SWEAR WORD NOW 175 00:09:26,220 --> 00:09:29,396 SO I WON'T FEEL QUITE AS GUILTY AS I DO? 176 00:09:29,465 --> 00:09:30,742 WOULD YOU HELP AN OLD NUN OUT? 177 00:09:30,811 --> 00:09:31,950 WOULD IT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER? 178 00:09:32,019 --> 00:09:34,159 YES, 100%.. 179 00:09:34,228 --> 00:09:36,230 CAN'T YOU DO BETTER THAN THAT? 180 00:09:36,299 --> 00:09:37,438 ! 181 00:09:37,507 --> 00:09:38,578 OH! 182 00:09:39,613 --> 00:09:42,651 YOU NEED TO WATCH YOUR MOUTH AROUND NUNS. 183 00:09:54,455 --> 00:09:56,561 EXCUSE ME, LADIES. COULD YOU HELP ME A MINUTE? 184 00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:57,976 I'M TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING. 185 00:09:58,045 --> 00:09:59,081 HELLO. 186 00:09:59,150 --> 00:10:02,118 I DON'T KNOW. I'M NOT FROM HERE. 187 00:10:02,187 --> 00:10:04,880 WE CAN TRY. 188 00:10:04,949 --> 00:10:06,329 MY WIFE TOLD ME TO FIND THIS PLACE, 189 00:10:06,398 --> 00:10:08,608 AND I'M HAVING A HARD TIME TRYING TO FIND IT. 190 00:10:08,677 --> 00:10:09,850 I DON'T KNOW -- I DON'T KNOW -- I DON'T KNOW 191 00:10:09,919 --> 00:10:12,508 IF IT'S A RESTAURANT OR IF IT'S A SPA. 192 00:10:12,577 --> 00:10:13,509 WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR? 193 00:10:13,578 --> 00:10:16,374 WELL, IT'S CALLED THE G-SPOT. 194 00:10:16,443 --> 00:10:19,273 I CAN'T FIND IT ON THE MAP. WOULD YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS? 195 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,414 HER EX-HUSBAND KNEW WHERE IT WAS, 196 00:10:22,483 --> 00:10:24,002 BUT I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND IT. 197 00:10:24,071 --> 00:10:25,866 CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT IT IS, PLEASE? 198 00:10:25,935 --> 00:10:27,488 THE G-SPOT? 199 00:10:27,557 --> 00:10:30,043 I DON'T KNOW IF THERE'S A PLACE CALLED THAT, 200 00:10:30,112 --> 00:10:31,665 BUT THERE'S SOMETHING THAT -- 201 00:10:31,734 --> 00:10:33,460 WELL, I'M AN OLDER GUY, AND I'M VERY NAIVE. 202 00:10:33,529 --> 00:10:35,358 JUST TELL ME WHAT IT IS. THAT'S ALL. 203 00:10:35,427 --> 00:10:37,740 SHE'S ALWAYS AT ME TO GET NEAR IT. 204 00:11:18,505 --> 00:11:22,026 HERE IN HOLLYWOOD, EVERYONE'S ALWAYS ON A DIET, 205 00:11:22,095 --> 00:11:26,168 SO I FINALLY FIGURED I'D GET ON BOARD AND SIGN UP FOR ONE 206 00:11:26,237 --> 00:11:28,791 THAT DELIVERS EVERY MEAL RIGHT TO THE DOOR. 207 00:11:28,860 --> 00:11:31,345 OKAY, MISS WHITE, I'VE GOT YOUR THREE MEALS FOR TODAY. 208 00:11:31,414 --> 00:11:33,554 WE HAVE ONE CASE OF CHARDONNAY, 209 00:11:33,623 --> 00:11:36,972 ONE TRIPLE-CHOCOLATE CAKE, AND TWO DEEP-DISH PIZZAS. 210 00:11:37,041 --> 00:11:38,145 PERFECT. 211 00:11:38,214 --> 00:11:39,940 WOULD YOU PUT THEM BACK IN THE PANTRY? 212 00:11:40,009 --> 00:11:41,631 OF COURSE. THANK YOU. 213 00:11:43,426 --> 00:11:44,911 YOU HAVE NO IDEA 214 00:11:44,980 --> 00:11:47,948 HOW WE ACTRESSES SUFFER FOR OUR FIGURES. 215 00:11:58,269 --> 00:12:01,721 EXCUSE ME. I GOT AN AUDITION UP HERE IN, LIKE, FIVE MINUTES. 216 00:12:01,790 --> 00:12:03,067 I WAS WONDERING IF YOU HAD JUST A MINUTE 217 00:12:03,136 --> 00:12:05,172 TO RUN LINES WITH ME BEFORE I GO IN. 218 00:12:05,241 --> 00:12:06,691 "RUN LINES"? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 219 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,280 THAT MEANS, LIKE, I'M REHEARSING MY LINES BEFORE THE AUDITION. 220 00:12:09,349 --> 00:12:11,040 THEY JUST GAVE ME THIS. 221 00:12:11,109 --> 00:12:13,905 IF YOU'D TAKE ONE SECOND, I'D APPRECIATE IT. 222 00:12:13,974 --> 00:12:14,906 TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF IT. 223 00:12:14,975 --> 00:12:16,908 IT HELPS TO RUN IT WITH SOMEONE. 224 00:12:16,977 --> 00:12:19,186 SO, I'M JOE, AND YOU'RE TIFFANY. 225 00:12:19,255 --> 00:12:20,705 ALL RIGHT? 226 00:12:20,774 --> 00:12:24,847 I HAVEN'T MADE LOVE TO ANYONE AFTER MY FIRST WIFE DIED, 227 00:12:24,916 --> 00:12:27,022 SO YOU'LL HAVE TO BE PATIENT WITH ME. 228 00:12:27,091 --> 00:12:29,541 IT'S JUST LIKE RIDING A BIKE AGAIN. 229 00:12:29,610 --> 00:12:30,750 OKAY. 230 00:12:32,165 --> 00:12:35,030 JUST COME OVER HERE AND HELP ME UNDRESS. 231 00:12:35,099 --> 00:12:36,548 WOW! 232 00:12:36,617 --> 00:12:39,862 YOUR SKIN IS -- IT'S SO SOFT. 233 00:12:39,931 --> 00:12:43,176 I WANT TO DO IT WITH YOU ALL OVER THE HOUSE. 234 00:12:43,245 --> 00:12:44,867 TALK DIRTY TO ME. 235 00:12:44,936 --> 00:12:46,351 YOU WANT IT. 236 00:12:46,420 --> 00:12:47,352 YOU KNOW I DO. 237 00:12:47,421 --> 00:12:49,147 HOW DO YOU WANT IT? 238 00:12:49,216 --> 00:12:51,115 HOT AND WET. 239 00:12:51,184 --> 00:12:52,461 HOW HOT? 240 00:12:52,530 --> 00:12:53,773 VERY HOT. 241 00:12:53,842 --> 00:12:57,017 OH, MAN! YOU ARE GOOD! 242 00:12:57,086 --> 00:13:00,434 I GOT TO THANK -- LISTEN, THIS IS MY FIRST PORNO EVER. 243 00:13:00,503 --> 00:13:02,091 YOU MIGHT BE LOOKING AT A NEW STAR. 244 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:04,956 THANK YOU SO MUCH. APPRECIATE IT. 245 00:13:15,725 --> 00:13:17,244 EXCUSE ME. 246 00:13:17,313 --> 00:13:18,590 - YES? - I'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU. 247 00:13:18,659 --> 00:13:21,283 MY CELLPHONE JUST DIED, AND I NEED TO MAKE A CALL. 248 00:13:21,352 --> 00:13:23,216 CAN I BORROW YOURS? 249 00:13:23,285 --> 00:13:24,251 JUST TAKE A SECOND. 250 00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:25,908 YEAH. THANKS. 251 00:13:27,220 --> 00:13:28,152 OH, THANK YOU. 252 00:13:28,221 --> 00:13:29,774 OH, THAT'S GREAT. 253 00:13:34,227 --> 00:13:35,366 HELLO? 254 00:13:35,435 --> 00:13:37,678 THE PSYCHIC FRIENDLY NETWORK? 255 00:13:37,747 --> 00:13:39,232 YES. 256 00:13:39,301 --> 00:13:42,407 YES. I KNOW IT'S $1.99 A MINUTE. 257 00:13:42,476 --> 00:13:44,306 I NEED TO KNOW, MADAM, 258 00:13:44,375 --> 00:13:48,586 IF I SHOULD MARRY THIS MAN WHO'S ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM. 259 00:13:48,655 --> 00:13:50,899 I'VE BEEN GOING WITH HIM A LONG TIME. 260 00:13:50,968 --> 00:13:53,833 NO, HE USED TO BE BLOND. NOW HE'S GRAY. 261 00:13:53,902 --> 00:13:54,937 I'M SORRY. 262 00:13:55,006 --> 00:13:57,181 I'M SORRY. I DON'T KNOW HIS SHOE SIZE. 263 00:13:57,250 --> 00:14:00,184 YOU CAN'T MAKE PHONE CALLS FOR COLLECT CALLS. 264 00:14:00,253 --> 00:14:01,357 OH, NO. 265 00:14:01,426 --> 00:14:03,118 I'LL PAY YOU FOR IT AFTERWARDS. 266 00:14:03,187 --> 00:14:04,395 AND YES, I JUST NEED -- 267 00:14:04,464 --> 00:14:06,362 WE DON'T WANT THAT ON OUR PHONE BILL. PLEASE. 268 00:14:06,431 --> 00:14:07,501 BUT I'LL PAY YOU BACK! 269 00:14:07,570 --> 00:14:08,502 NO. PLEASE HANG UP THE PHONE. 270 00:14:08,571 --> 00:14:10,850 OH, OKAY. OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. 271 00:14:10,919 --> 00:14:13,507 WHATEVER. 272 00:14:13,576 --> 00:14:14,784 RUDE! 273 00:14:27,383 --> 00:14:29,420 I N-- I NEED SOME HELP. 274 00:14:29,489 --> 00:14:31,525 IS ANYBODY THERE? 275 00:14:31,594 --> 00:14:33,389 IS ANYBODY THERE? 276 00:14:33,458 --> 00:14:34,632 I NEED A LITTLE HELP. 277 00:14:34,701 --> 00:14:35,944 HELLO? 278 00:14:36,013 --> 00:14:38,739 YEAH, OKAY. I HAD TO BUY THIS CAKE FOR MY WIFE. 279 00:14:38,808 --> 00:14:40,880 SHE'S VERY PARTICULAR. IT'S HER BIRTHDAY CAKE. 280 00:14:40,949 --> 00:14:43,434 COULD YOU TAKE A LOOK AND MAKE SURE THAT THEY DID IT RIGHT? 281 00:14:43,503 --> 00:14:44,987 SEE IF IT'S AN "I" OR A "Y." 282 00:14:45,056 --> 00:14:46,368 COULD YOU OPEN IT UP, PLEASE? 283 00:14:46,437 --> 00:14:48,439 THAT WOULD BE GREAT. 284 00:14:48,508 --> 00:14:50,234 IS IT AN "I" OR A "Y"? 285 00:14:50,303 --> 00:14:51,545 THAT'S AN "I." 286 00:14:51,614 --> 00:14:52,650 YOU LIKE IT? 287 00:14:52,719 --> 00:14:53,720 FANTASTIC. 288 00:14:53,789 --> 00:14:55,895 WAS IT AN "A" CUP OR A "C" CUP? 289 00:14:55,964 --> 00:14:57,034 HELLO? 290 00:14:57,103 --> 00:14:58,104 I'D SAY "C." 291 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:01,314 BOY, I'M GONNA GET LUCKY TONIGHT. 292 00:15:01,383 --> 00:15:02,729 HEE-HEE-HEE! 293 00:15:23,923 --> 00:15:24,993 EXCUSE ME. 294 00:15:25,062 --> 00:15:27,996 I'M HAVING A PETITION SIGNED TODAY. 295 00:15:28,065 --> 00:15:31,102 WE ARE TRYING TO CITE PEOPLE FOR UNWANTED SMILING. 296 00:15:31,171 --> 00:15:34,416 IF I COULD GET THE TWO OF YOU TO SIGN THIS PETITION. 297 00:15:34,485 --> 00:15:36,280 YOU KNOW, THERE'S ENTIRELY WAY TOO MUCH SMILING 298 00:15:36,349 --> 00:15:39,041 GOING ON IN THIS CITY TODAY, AND WE WANT TO CITE THEM. 299 00:15:39,110 --> 00:15:41,043 THEY WOULD BE FINED $100, 300 00:15:41,112 --> 00:15:42,596 AND IT WOULD HELP THE CITY. 301 00:15:42,665 --> 00:15:44,046 I DON'T KNOW IF I'D SIGN THAT ONE. 302 00:15:44,115 --> 00:15:46,428 I DON'T THINK I CAN SIGN THAT ONE, UNFORTUNATELY. 303 00:15:46,497 --> 00:15:48,154 WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU GUYS ARE SMILING. 304 00:15:48,223 --> 00:15:49,258 I'M A BIT OF A SMILER. I'M SORRY. 305 00:15:49,327 --> 00:15:51,467 YEAH, YOU REALLY ARE SMILING. 306 00:15:51,536 --> 00:15:54,954 DON'T YOU THINK THAT PEOPLE SHOULD USE SMILING SPARINGLY? 307 00:15:55,023 --> 00:15:57,335 I CAN'T HELP IT. THEY JUST SLIP OUT SOMETIMES. 308 00:15:57,404 --> 00:15:59,579 AND WE NEED TO GO AFTER THE DENTISTS, TOO. 309 00:15:59,648 --> 00:16:01,822 AND THAT BLEACHING OF TEETH? 310 00:16:01,891 --> 00:16:03,997 THAT IS A GATEWAY TO SMILING. 311 00:16:04,066 --> 00:16:06,413 WE NEED TO STOP THAT WITH THOSE TRAYS AND THINGS. 312 00:16:06,482 --> 00:16:08,864 SO, COULD YOU SIGN THIS PETITION, PLEASE? 313 00:16:08,933 --> 00:16:10,693 I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THAT ONE. 314 00:16:10,762 --> 00:16:11,936 I CAN'T DO IT. 315 00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:14,490 I'M VERY PRO-SMILING, MA'AM. I'M VERY SORRY. 316 00:16:14,559 --> 00:16:15,526 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? 317 00:16:15,595 --> 00:16:17,459 YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM. 318 00:16:17,528 --> 00:16:19,840 YOU ARE NOT PART OF THE SOLUTION. 319 00:16:22,636 --> 00:16:24,604 STOP SMILING! 320 00:16:31,921 --> 00:16:34,027 MMM, REATHA! 321 00:16:34,096 --> 00:16:36,443 THAT SMELLS DELICIOUS! WHAT IS IT? 322 00:16:36,512 --> 00:16:38,135 JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING I COOKED UP 323 00:16:38,204 --> 00:16:40,309 FOR THIS NEW GUY I'M SEEING. 324 00:16:40,378 --> 00:16:42,587 I GOT THE RECIPE OFF THE INTERNET. 325 00:16:42,656 --> 00:16:44,831 IT'S SUPPOSED TO MAKE ANY GUY WHO EATS IT 326 00:16:44,900 --> 00:16:48,041 WANT TO RIP THE CLOTHES OFF THE FIRST WOMAN HE SEES. 327 00:16:49,249 --> 00:16:51,976 THAT MUST BE SOME RECIPE. 328 00:16:52,045 --> 00:16:54,323 OH, SOMETHING SMELLS GREAT. 329 00:16:54,392 --> 00:16:55,531 CAN I HAVE A PIECE? 330 00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:56,877 NO! 331 00:17:11,237 --> 00:17:13,998 YAHOO! 332 00:17:16,138 --> 00:17:17,795 NAILED IT. 333 00:17:34,294 --> 00:17:35,226 HI. HI. 334 00:17:35,295 --> 00:17:36,503 HOW ARE YOU? GOOD. 335 00:17:36,572 --> 00:17:37,711 - HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY? - OH, I'M GOOD. THANKS. 336 00:17:37,780 --> 00:17:40,404 OH, MY GOD. I'M ON VACATION. I'M ON VACATION. 337 00:17:40,473 --> 00:17:41,646 - IT'S NICE OUT. - I KNOW. 338 00:17:41,715 --> 00:17:43,027 ARE YOU ON VACATION, BY CHANCE? 339 00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:44,477 NO, I ACTUALLY WORK IN THAT BUILDING RIGHT THERE. 340 00:17:44,546 --> 00:17:45,512 OH, YOU DO? 341 00:17:45,581 --> 00:17:46,513 YEAH. IS THIS YOUR FIRST TIME? 342 00:17:46,582 --> 00:17:47,721 YES. MY FIRST TIME. 343 00:17:47,790 --> 00:17:49,206 SANTA MONICA'S SO BEAUTIFUL. 344 00:17:49,275 --> 00:17:50,345 I KNOW. IT IS. IT IS. 345 00:17:50,414 --> 00:17:52,071 BUT, YOU KNOW, THEY SAY ABOUT LA 346 00:17:52,140 --> 00:17:54,038 BEING WILD AND CRAZY AND ALL THAT. 347 00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:56,109 WHERE'S WILD AND CRAZY? THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW. 348 00:17:56,178 --> 00:17:57,593 GO TO MAYBE HOLLYWOOD. 349 00:17:57,662 --> 00:17:59,112 I'M SURE YOU'RE A WILD AND CRAZY GUY. 350 00:17:59,181 --> 00:18:00,527 OH, I AM. 351 00:18:00,596 --> 00:18:01,528 AM I TOLD OLD FOR CRAZY? 352 00:18:01,597 --> 00:18:02,529 NO, NOT AT ALL. 353 00:18:02,598 --> 00:18:04,635 YOU'RE JUST PERFECT. 354 00:18:04,704 --> 00:18:05,877 YEAH, YOU SHOULD GO. 355 00:18:05,946 --> 00:18:07,465 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT, LIKE -- 356 00:18:07,534 --> 00:18:08,742 YOU KNOW, WHEN I'M ON VACATION, I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS, 357 00:18:08,811 --> 00:18:11,780 LIKE, YOU KNOW, VACATION ROMANCE OR WHATEVER. 358 00:18:11,849 --> 00:18:13,954 WELL, YOU SAID I WASN'T TOO OLD FOR CRAZY, RIGHT? 359 00:18:14,023 --> 00:18:15,266 NOT AT ALL. NOT AT ALL. NOT AT ALL. 360 00:18:15,335 --> 00:18:18,062 LISTEN, YOU'RE A VERY HOT GUY. 361 00:18:18,131 --> 00:18:19,339 THANK YOU. 362 00:18:19,408 --> 00:18:21,583 I AM STAYING AT A LITTLE MOTEL ON OCEAN AND 11th. 363 00:18:21,652 --> 00:18:22,998 WHAT I WANT TO DO IS GIVE YOU THIS. 364 00:18:23,067 --> 00:18:24,413 I DON'T WANT YOUR FRIEND TO SEE THIS. 365 00:18:24,482 --> 00:18:25,897 OKAY? I'M GONNA GIVE YOU THIS KEY. 366 00:18:25,966 --> 00:18:27,623 TAKE THIS, PLEASE. I'M GONNA PUT IT RIGHT HERE. 367 00:18:27,692 --> 00:18:30,074 COULD YOU THINK ABOUT IT JUST FOR A HALF-HOUR OR SO? 368 00:18:30,143 --> 00:18:31,075 SURE. 369 00:18:31,144 --> 00:18:32,076 OKAY? OKAY? 370 00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:33,181 ALL RIGHT, THANKS. 371 00:18:33,250 --> 00:18:34,251 THANK YOU SO MUCH. I'LL MEET YOU THERE. 372 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:35,390 THANK YOU. 373 00:18:55,651 --> 00:18:57,377 JOHNNY? JOHNNY? 374 00:18:57,446 --> 00:18:58,827 HOW ARE YOU? HOW ARE YOU? 375 00:18:58,896 --> 00:18:59,897 I DON'T KNOW YOU. 376 00:18:59,966 --> 00:19:01,174 I KNOW YOU. DON'T YOU KNOW ME? 377 00:19:01,243 --> 00:19:02,175 - I DON'T KNOW YOU. - WE KNOW EACH OTHER. 378 00:19:02,244 --> 00:19:03,797 OH, COME ON, YOU'RE SUCH A PRANKSTER. 379 00:19:03,866 --> 00:19:04,902 GIVE ME A HUG. JUST GIVE ME A HUG. 380 00:19:04,971 --> 00:19:05,903 FINE. 381 00:19:05,972 --> 00:19:07,076 GIVE ME A BIG HUG. 382 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,768 - IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU. - I DON'T KNOW YOU. 383 00:19:08,837 --> 00:19:11,529 GOOD TO SEE YOU. OH, IT'S WONDERFUL. 384 00:19:30,859 --> 00:19:32,895 EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. 385 00:19:32,964 --> 00:19:34,311 CAN YOU HELP ME FOR A SECOND? 386 00:19:34,380 --> 00:19:37,279 I WANT TO EAT THIS ICE CREAM, THIS DELIGHTFUL TREAT, 387 00:19:37,348 --> 00:19:40,731 AND CAN YOU JUST, LIKE -- I CAN'T REACH IT. 388 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,802 CAN YOU JUST STICK -- 389 00:19:42,871 --> 00:19:44,942 JUST FOR A SECOND. 390 00:19:45,011 --> 00:19:45,943 ALL RIGHT. 391 00:19:46,012 --> 00:19:47,393 OKAY. OKAY. 392 00:19:53,019 --> 00:19:54,400 MORE. MORE, MORE. 393 00:20:01,165 --> 00:20:03,098 OW, BRAIN FREEZE! 394 00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:04,962 OW! OW! 395 00:20:05,031 --> 00:20:06,929 BRAIN FREEZE! 396 00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:11,658 I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT. 397 00:20:24,740 --> 00:20:25,948 OH, HELLO, THERE. 398 00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:27,881 I'M JUST GETTING READY TO GO OUT ON THE TOWN 399 00:20:27,950 --> 00:20:29,124 WITH MY GIRLFRIEND. 400 00:20:29,193 --> 00:20:30,781 HEY, BETTY. 401 00:20:30,850 --> 00:20:32,127 WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 402 00:20:32,196 --> 00:20:34,578 OH, YOU LOOK JUST DARLING. 403 00:20:34,647 --> 00:20:37,132 CAN I BAG SOME HOTTIES IN THIS OR WHAT? 404 00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:40,618 LET ME FIX JUST ONE THING, THOUGH. 405 00:20:47,660 --> 00:20:48,730 THERE. 406 00:20:48,799 --> 00:20:50,490 NOW YOU'LL SCORE. 27743

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