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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:22,310 --> 00:00:23,724 I'M SORRY. 2 00:00:23,793 --> 00:00:26,724 WE DON'T ALLOW OUTSIDE FOOD IN OUR RESTAURANT. OH. 3 00:00:26,793 --> 00:00:28,103 HERE'S OUR MENU, 4 00:00:28,172 --> 00:00:31,137 AND I'LL BE BACK TO TAKE YOUR ORDER IN JUST A MINUTE. 5 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,206 NAILED IT! 6 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,000 AH-CHOO! 7 00:01:22,068 --> 00:01:23,068 OH! 8 00:01:40,827 --> 00:01:42,000 HI THERE. 9 00:01:42,068 --> 00:01:44,034 AND WELCOME TO "OFF THEIR ROCKERS." 10 00:01:45,482 --> 00:01:49,000 LAST NIGHT'S PARTY WAS OFF THE HOOK. 11 00:01:51,344 --> 00:01:53,206 WHAT A MESS! 12 00:01:53,275 --> 00:01:55,758 UGH! 13 00:01:55,827 --> 00:01:57,517 WHAT'S THIS? 14 00:01:57,586 --> 00:01:59,103 OH. YEAH. 15 00:01:59,172 --> 00:02:00,862 YOU FOUND MY TEETH. 16 00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:05,689 NO. NO, THESE AREN'T MINE. 17 00:02:07,068 --> 00:02:09,172 OHH. 18 00:02:09,241 --> 00:02:12,310 WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT? 19 00:02:12,379 --> 00:02:14,103 MY FACE IS SO SORE. 20 00:02:15,551 --> 00:02:17,379 WHAT? 21 00:02:17,448 --> 00:02:18,482 WHAT'S WRONG? 22 00:02:18,551 --> 00:02:20,793 NOTHING, MICHAEL. 23 00:02:20,862 --> 00:02:22,241 N-NOTHING AT ALL. 24 00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:24,689 - UH, WHO WANTS COFFEE? - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. 25 00:02:26,172 --> 00:02:28,000 OHH. 26 00:02:36,793 --> 00:02:39,413 HI. I'M WITH CITIZENS AGAINST IDENTITY THEFT. 27 00:02:39,482 --> 00:02:40,758 OKAY. 28 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,310 AND I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WOULD SIGN MY PETITION. 29 00:02:42,379 --> 00:02:44,862 I JUST NEED YOUR NAME, YOUR SIGNATURE, YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS, 30 00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:47,517 THE LAST FOUR DIGITS OF YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER, 31 00:02:47,586 --> 00:02:48,689 YOUR MOTHER'S MAIDEN NAME, 32 00:02:48,758 --> 00:02:51,413 YOUR PET'S NAME, AND YOUR ATM PASSWORD. 33 00:02:51,482 --> 00:02:53,931 WOW. NO, I CAN'T DO THE ATM PASSWORD. 34 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,034 THAT'S -- THAT'S, UH... 35 00:02:56,103 --> 00:02:57,689 WELL, AREN'T YOU AGAINST IDENTITY THEFT? 36 00:02:57,758 --> 00:03:00,517 I AM AGAINST IT, SO THAT'S WHY I CAN'T GIVE YOU MY PASSWORD. 37 00:03:00,586 --> 00:03:02,206 BASICALLY, YOU'RE ASKING ME ALL THE SAME QUESTIONS 38 00:03:02,275 --> 00:03:06,172 THAT, UM, THAT YOU WOULD NEED TO STEAL SOMEONE'S IDENTITY. 39 00:03:06,241 --> 00:03:08,827 YOU HAVE TO FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE. 40 00:03:08,896 --> 00:03:10,689 I -- YEAH, BUT YOU -- THAT'S CRAZY. 41 00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:12,517 OKAY. UM... 42 00:03:12,586 --> 00:03:13,827 NO. 43 00:03:13,896 --> 00:03:16,206 - YOU'RE A SWEET LADY. - YES? 44 00:03:16,275 --> 00:03:20,620 BUT, I MEAN, I -- CITIZENS -- DO YOU HAVE A WEBSITE? 45 00:03:20,689 --> 00:03:22,137 YOU KNOW YOU'RE SUPPORTING IDENTITY THEFT 46 00:03:22,206 --> 00:03:23,551 IF YOU DON'T SIGN THIS PETITION? 47 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,517 I'M SUPPORTING IT IF I DON'T SIGN IT? 48 00:03:25,586 --> 00:03:27,862 YEAH, BECAUSE THIS IS GONNA HELP STAMP IT OUT. 49 00:03:27,931 --> 00:03:30,689 SO, IF I GET YOUR NAME, SIGNATURE, E-MAIL ADDRESS, 50 00:03:30,758 --> 00:03:34,551 AND LAST FOUR DIGITS OF YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER -- 51 00:03:34,620 --> 00:03:35,931 GIVING YOU ALL MY PERSONAL INFORMATION 52 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,551 IS GOING TO STOP IDENTITY THEFT? 53 00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:42,931 YES, BECAUSE IT'LL -- I WILL BE ABLE TO TURN IN THIS PETITION. 54 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,793 NO. NO, THAT'S CRAZY. 55 00:03:45,862 --> 00:03:47,137 I CAN'T DO THAT. 56 00:03:47,206 --> 00:03:48,206 AND MY MEEMAW ALWAYS TOLD ME 57 00:03:48,275 --> 00:03:50,172 BE NICE TO MY ELDERS AND STUFF LIKE THAT. 58 00:03:50,241 --> 00:03:51,482 I'M NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE, YOU KNOW? 59 00:03:51,551 --> 00:03:55,034 OKAY, WELL, OBVIOUSLY, YOU ARE FOR IDENTITY THEFT. 60 00:03:55,103 --> 00:03:56,448 THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE THAT WILL HELP ME. 61 00:03:56,517 --> 00:03:57,551 - I'M NOT FOR IDENTITY THEFT. - THANK YOU SO MUCH, SIR. 62 00:03:57,620 --> 00:03:58,862 NO, I PROMISE. THANK YOU, SIR. 63 00:04:26,413 --> 00:04:28,793 DUDE, WE WENT TO GEORGETOWN 50 YEARS AGO. 64 00:04:28,862 --> 00:04:29,793 YEAH. 65 00:04:29,862 --> 00:04:31,517 WE'RE HAVING A RAGER, OKAY? 66 00:04:31,586 --> 00:04:33,103 THAT'S THE INFORMATION. 67 00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:34,344 YEAH. OKAY. 68 00:04:34,413 --> 00:04:35,586 YEAH, OKAY. 69 00:04:35,655 --> 00:04:37,689 HOTEL ROOM A BLOCK AWAY. 70 00:04:37,758 --> 00:04:40,000 HERE -- HERE'S THE EXTRA KEYS FOR SOME CHICKS. 71 00:04:40,068 --> 00:04:41,344 - BRING THEM, OKAY? - YES. 72 00:04:41,413 --> 00:04:43,965 ALL RIGHT, NOW, WHEN WE WENT HERE, WE USED TO PARTY HARD. 73 00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:45,275 YEAH. OH, YEAH. 74 00:04:47,448 --> 00:04:49,206 - OKAY. ALL RIGHT. - RIGHT. 75 00:04:49,275 --> 00:04:51,551 IT'S GONNA BE FREAKIN' EPIC -- EPIC. 76 00:04:51,620 --> 00:04:52,655 - YEAH. EPIC? - EPIC. 77 00:04:52,724 --> 00:04:54,103 HEY, THAT'S GOOD, THEN. 78 00:04:54,172 --> 00:04:57,137 AND WE'RE GONNA PARTY SO HARD AND DAMAGE THE HOTEL SO MUCH, 79 00:04:57,206 --> 00:04:58,586 BUT WE'RE GONNA PAY FOR IT. 80 00:04:58,655 --> 00:05:00,862 WE'RE GONNA TEAR IT UP, MAN -- TEAR IT UP. 81 00:05:00,931 --> 00:05:02,103 - SO, HERE. - GUYS, GUYS. 82 00:05:02,172 --> 00:05:03,344 BRING MORE FRIENDS, ALL RIGHT? 83 00:05:03,413 --> 00:05:04,862 I JUST INVITED THE WHOLE RESTAURANT, 84 00:05:04,931 --> 00:05:06,172 AND THEY'RE ALL COMING. 85 00:05:06,241 --> 00:05:07,275 YAY! YAY! 86 00:05:07,344 --> 00:05:08,689 - YIPPEE! YAY! - PARTY ON! 87 00:05:08,758 --> 00:05:09,689 SEE YOU THERE. 88 00:05:09,758 --> 00:05:10,896 WE'LL SEE YOU THERE. 89 00:05:10,965 --> 00:05:12,620 WHOO-HOO! 90 00:05:17,724 --> 00:05:18,965 BE THERE OR BE SQUARE. 91 00:05:19,034 --> 00:05:20,206 PARTY TIME -- IT'S PARTY TIME! 92 00:05:34,517 --> 00:05:37,448 IN ORDER TO KEEP OUR PRANKING SKILLS SHARP, 93 00:05:37,517 --> 00:05:40,448 I HAVE THE CAST TRAINING 'ROUND THE CLOCK. 94 00:05:42,206 --> 00:05:44,206 - HELLO. MR. PANKY. - PRINCE ALBERT IN A CAN? 95 00:05:44,275 --> 00:05:45,310 HELLO. 96 00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:47,379 I'M CALLING FOR MIKE. 97 00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:49,827 LAST NAME IS "ROSCOPIC PENIS." 98 00:05:49,896 --> 00:05:51,310 YES. 99 00:05:51,379 --> 00:05:54,517 WOULD YOU PLEASE PAGE MIKE ROSCOPIC-PENIS? 100 00:05:54,586 --> 00:05:55,758 YEAH. 101 00:05:55,827 --> 00:05:57,896 WELL, THEN HOW ABOUT MR. JASS? 102 00:05:57,965 --> 00:05:59,655 FIRST NAME -- HUGH. 103 00:05:59,724 --> 00:06:01,896 THAT'S RIGHT -- HUGH JASS. 104 00:06:01,965 --> 00:06:03,965 IS HE THERE? 105 00:06:09,206 --> 00:06:11,103 LIGHTEN UP, ASHTON. 106 00:06:11,172 --> 00:06:12,689 IT WAS A JOKE. 107 00:06:14,413 --> 00:06:17,965 HE, OF ALL PEOPLE, SHOULD RESPECT THE CLASSICS. 108 00:06:39,655 --> 00:06:42,793 WERE YOU WATCHED? 109 00:06:42,862 --> 00:06:44,724 WHAT WAS THAT? 110 00:06:44,793 --> 00:06:48,655 LET ME DO THE TALKING. WE DON'T HAVE A LOT OF TIME. 111 00:06:48,724 --> 00:06:50,448 THIS IS YOUR NEW IDENTITY. 112 00:06:50,517 --> 00:06:52,551 THERE'S PLANE TICKETS, PASSPORT, 113 00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:55,689 SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER, DRIVER'S LICENSE -- 114 00:06:55,758 --> 00:06:58,034 EVERYTHING YOU'RE GONNA NEED. 115 00:06:58,103 --> 00:07:00,724 WE'RE GONNA RENDEZVOUS IN SWITZERLAND 116 00:07:00,793 --> 00:07:04,620 AT 1700 HOURS TOMORROW AT THE USUAL SPOT. 117 00:07:04,689 --> 00:07:10,000 REMEMBER... THE HAWK FLIES AT DAWN. 118 00:07:10,068 --> 00:07:11,241 OKAY. 119 00:07:17,586 --> 00:07:19,413 DUDE THAT THING. 120 00:07:19,482 --> 00:07:21,241 I'M GETTING THE OUT OF HERE. 121 00:07:22,517 --> 00:07:24,206 THAT WAS THE WEIRDEST THING EVER. 122 00:07:38,862 --> 00:07:40,758 THE HAWK FLIES AT DAWN. 123 00:07:46,862 --> 00:07:49,689 YOU KNOW, BETWEEN FACEBOOK, TWITTER, 124 00:07:49,758 --> 00:07:52,344 PINTEREST, LinkedIn, INSTAGRAM, 125 00:07:52,413 --> 00:07:55,482 I DON'T KNOW HOW PEOPLE KEEP THEIR SOCIAL NETWORKS STRAIGHT 126 00:07:55,551 --> 00:07:56,724 THESE DAYS. 127 00:07:56,793 --> 00:08:00,310 LUCKILY FOR ME, I'VE GOT HELP. 128 00:08:01,724 --> 00:08:03,068 HOW AM I DOING? 129 00:08:03,137 --> 00:08:05,965 YOUR PHOTO JUST GOT 247 LIKES ON INSTAGRAM, BETTY. 130 00:08:06,034 --> 00:08:07,517 OH, EXCELLENT. 131 00:08:07,586 --> 00:08:10,172 CEE LO JUST REQUESTED YOU ON LinkedIn. 132 00:08:10,241 --> 00:08:14,310 UH, MAKE HIM SWEAT IT OUT A FEW DAYS, AND THEN ADD HIM IN. 133 00:08:14,379 --> 00:08:15,965 YOU JUST GOT A FACEBOOK INVITE 134 00:08:16,034 --> 00:08:18,172 TO A PARTY AT ADAM LEVINE'S HOUSE. 135 00:08:18,241 --> 00:08:21,965 OH, UH... I HAVEN'T A THING TO WEAR. 136 00:08:22,034 --> 00:08:23,206 SO THAT'S A NO? 137 00:08:23,275 --> 00:08:24,758 NO, IT'S A YES. 138 00:08:24,827 --> 00:08:27,517 ADAM'S PARTY ARE SOMETIMES CLOTHING OPTIONAL. 139 00:08:28,724 --> 00:08:30,758 MM. 140 00:08:37,275 --> 00:08:39,172 HOW YOU DOING? 141 00:08:39,241 --> 00:08:40,448 DO YOU KNOW HER? 142 00:08:40,517 --> 00:08:42,965 NO. SHEILA? 143 00:08:43,034 --> 00:08:43,965 LEN! 144 00:08:44,034 --> 00:08:45,172 LEN. 145 00:08:45,241 --> 00:08:46,172 DO YOU RECOGNIZE ME? 146 00:08:46,241 --> 00:08:48,310 I DIDN'T THINK YOU... 147 00:08:48,379 --> 00:08:51,068 I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SINCE HIGH SCHOOL. 148 00:08:51,137 --> 00:08:53,206 WITH THE WHITE HAIR AND EVERYTHING. OH, MY. 149 00:08:53,275 --> 00:08:54,310 DO YOU REMEMBER PROM? 150 00:08:54,379 --> 00:08:56,413 OH, HOW CAN I FORGET? 151 00:08:56,482 --> 00:08:58,275 AH! 152 00:08:59,551 --> 00:09:01,827 GIRL! OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH. 153 00:09:01,896 --> 00:09:03,103 IT'S GOOD SEEING YOU. 154 00:09:03,172 --> 00:09:04,482 IT'S GOOD FEELING YOU. 155 00:09:04,551 --> 00:09:07,379 YOU ALWAYS WERE SO BAD! 156 00:09:12,551 --> 00:09:14,689 IT HAS TO BE 50 YEARS. 157 00:09:14,758 --> 00:09:16,551 50 YEARS. 158 00:09:16,620 --> 00:09:19,689 YOU KNOW, I LIVE RIGHT OVER HERE. 159 00:09:19,758 --> 00:09:20,862 OH, REALLY? YEAH. 160 00:09:20,931 --> 00:09:22,068 YOU LIVE IN THIS AREA? YEAH. 161 00:09:22,137 --> 00:09:23,103 SO DO I! 162 00:09:23,172 --> 00:09:27,517 YOU WANT TO GO AND...RE-CREATE PROM? 163 00:09:27,586 --> 00:09:28,896 IF YOU DON'T TELL MY HUSBAND. 164 00:09:28,965 --> 00:09:31,862 YEAH? OKAY. I'LL LEAVE HERE, THEN. 165 00:09:31,931 --> 00:09:33,448 I GOT SOMETHING FOR YOU. 166 00:09:46,413 --> 00:09:48,724 HOW ABOUT A LITTLE COFFEE DRINK? 167 00:09:48,793 --> 00:09:50,620 IT'S A REAL REFRESHING THING. 168 00:09:50,689 --> 00:09:51,655 HOW ARE YOU? 169 00:09:51,724 --> 00:09:53,034 GOOD, THANKS. HOW ARE YOU? 170 00:09:53,103 --> 00:09:55,103 IT'S CALLAHAN'S ICED COFFEE. PLEASE HAVE A LITTLE SIP. 171 00:09:55,172 --> 00:09:56,103 THANK YOU. 172 00:09:56,172 --> 00:09:57,275 YOU'RE WELCOME. ANY GOOD? 173 00:09:57,344 --> 00:09:58,448 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT'S GREAT WITH IT? 174 00:09:58,517 --> 00:10:00,103 DO YOU LIKE WHISKEY? YES. 175 00:10:00,172 --> 00:10:02,206 - YEAH. OH, GREAT. CAN I PUT A LITTLE IN FOR YOU? - YEAH, OF COURSE. 176 00:10:02,275 --> 00:10:03,827 'CAUSE I'M GONNA IRISH IT UP FOR YOU. 177 00:10:03,896 --> 00:10:05,241 OKAY, GREAT. THANK YOU. 178 00:10:05,310 --> 00:10:06,482 CHEERS. CHEERS. 179 00:10:06,551 --> 00:10:08,034 I'M GONNA HAVE A LITTLE BIT, TOO. MM-HMM. 180 00:10:08,103 --> 00:10:09,586 MMM. 181 00:10:09,655 --> 00:10:10,689 MMM. 182 00:10:10,758 --> 00:10:11,965 THANKS. 183 00:10:12,034 --> 00:10:13,551 DID I JUST SEE YOU DRINKING ON THE JOB AGAIN? 184 00:10:13,620 --> 00:10:15,379 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE GONNA ENJOY THIS SO MUCH. 185 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,206 IT'S ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL. 186 00:10:17,275 --> 00:10:19,724 NO. NO, THIS IS HIS. THIS IS HIS. 187 00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:22,206 - IS THAT YOUR -- IS THAT YOUR BOTTLE? - YEAH. 188 00:10:22,275 --> 00:10:23,206 IT'S YOUR BOTTLE? YES. 189 00:10:23,275 --> 00:10:24,724 SEE? I TOLD YOU IT WAS HIS. 190 00:10:24,793 --> 00:10:26,965 I DON'T CARE. I SAW YOU DRINKING ON THE JOB. 191 00:10:27,034 --> 00:10:28,586 - OH, PLEASE. - OKAY. 192 00:10:28,655 --> 00:10:29,965 GOD. YOU COME WITH ME. 193 00:10:30,034 --> 00:10:32,034 - OH, GET -- YOU KNOW WHAT? - THIS IS THE LAST TIME. 194 00:10:32,103 --> 00:10:33,103 GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME! THAT -- 195 00:10:33,172 --> 00:10:34,827 YOU'RE FIRED. OH, FINE. 196 00:10:34,896 --> 00:10:36,379 FIRE THIS! 197 00:10:48,827 --> 00:10:49,758 - HI. - HI. 198 00:10:49,827 --> 00:10:51,034 CAN YOU HELP ME? 199 00:10:51,103 --> 00:10:52,827 I HAVE LARYNGITIS, 200 00:10:52,896 --> 00:10:57,137 AND I WANT TO ASK MY ACTIVATED ASSISTANT A QUESTION. 201 00:10:57,206 --> 00:10:58,655 SO, COULD YOU DO IT FOR ME? 202 00:10:58,724 --> 00:11:00,275 SURE. ASK SIRI... 203 00:11:01,689 --> 00:11:07,275 I HAVE A VERY LARGE RODENT IN MY BACKYARD THAT'S DEAD, 204 00:11:07,344 --> 00:11:10,241 AND I WANT TO KNOW HOW TO GET RID OF IT. 205 00:11:10,310 --> 00:11:11,241 OH, OKAY. 206 00:11:11,310 --> 00:11:12,724 OKAY? 207 00:11:14,310 --> 00:11:18,620 HOW DO I GET RID OF A LARGE DEAD RODENT IN MY BACKYARD? 208 00:11:20,517 --> 00:11:23,137 IT'S -- IT'S A 180-POUND CORPSE. 209 00:11:23,206 --> 00:11:24,379 LET ME CHECK ON THAT. OKAY. 210 00:11:24,448 --> 00:11:26,275 THAT SOUNDS LIKE A -- WHAT IS THAT? 211 00:11:26,344 --> 00:11:27,896 WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SEARCH THE WEB FOR 212 00:11:27,965 --> 00:11:30,206 "HOW DO I GET RID OF A LARGE DEAD RODENT IN MY BACKYARD?" 213 00:11:30,275 --> 00:11:31,206 IT'S LIKE A SMALL PERSON. 214 00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:33,379 NO. 180-POUND CORPSE. 215 00:11:33,448 --> 00:11:35,344 THAT'S HEAVIER THAN ME. 216 00:11:35,413 --> 00:11:37,068 180? HONEST. 217 00:11:37,137 --> 00:11:40,689 I DON'T KNOW -- 190, 200. IT'S HUGE! 218 00:11:40,758 --> 00:11:42,344 SEARCHING FOR 219 00:11:42,413 --> 00:11:44,000 "HOW DO I GET RID OF A LARGE DEAD RODENT IN MY BACKYARD?" 220 00:11:44,068 --> 00:11:45,482 SHE'S LOOKING IT UP ONLINE, SO... 221 00:11:45,551 --> 00:11:46,758 THANK YOU. 222 00:11:46,827 --> 00:11:49,068 IT MAY BE EASIER TO LOOK UP ANIMAL REMOVAL. 223 00:11:49,137 --> 00:11:51,965 LET ME TRY ON MY PHONE. ONE SEC. OKAY. 224 00:11:54,137 --> 00:11:55,896 DO YOU KNOW WHERE THERE'S A WOODED AREA 225 00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:57,379 ANYWHERE AROUND HERE? 226 00:11:57,448 --> 00:11:59,620 - A WOODED AREA? - I LIVE CLOSE BY HERE. 227 00:11:59,689 --> 00:12:00,862 A WOODED AREA? YEAH. 228 00:12:00,931 --> 00:12:02,137 I DON'T KNOW. 229 00:12:02,206 --> 00:12:04,310 WHAT WOULD YOU WANT TO DO IN A WOODED AREA? 230 00:12:04,379 --> 00:12:07,275 WELL...I CAN'T TELL YOU, REALLY. 231 00:12:08,758 --> 00:12:10,448 YOU KNOW WHAT? JUST -- 232 00:12:10,517 --> 00:12:11,965 ARE YOU SURE? JUST FORGET IT. 233 00:12:12,034 --> 00:12:13,793 YEAH. THAT'S HUGE, THOUGH. WHAT IS THAT? 234 00:12:13,862 --> 00:12:16,310 WELL, I REALLY CAN'T TELL YOU. 235 00:12:16,379 --> 00:12:20,793 BUT IF ANYBODY ASKS, WE DID NOT HAVE THIS CONVERSATION, OKAY? 236 00:12:20,862 --> 00:12:22,586 I'M SORRY. 237 00:12:56,896 --> 00:12:57,931 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 238 00:13:13,689 --> 00:13:16,310 WELL, IF YOU CAN KEEP THE HEAT LOW ENOUGH, 239 00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:20,172 YOU CAN BROWN BOTH SIDES OF THE OMELET WITHOUT BURNING IT. 240 00:13:20,241 --> 00:13:21,724 OH, YOU'RE WELCOME. 241 00:13:21,793 --> 00:13:25,068 AND IF YOU EVER WANT ANY MORE ADVICE, I'M ALWAYS HERE. 242 00:13:26,137 --> 00:13:27,448 YOU, TOO. 243 00:13:27,517 --> 00:13:30,379 THANK YOU, MR. PRESIDENT. 244 00:13:30,448 --> 00:13:31,862 SORRY ABOUT THAT, 245 00:13:31,931 --> 00:13:35,172 BUT WHEN A PRESIDENT CALLS, YOU'VE GOT TO TAKE THE CALL. 246 00:13:36,241 --> 00:13:38,275 OH. 247 00:13:38,344 --> 00:13:39,655 SORRY. 248 00:13:39,724 --> 00:13:42,034 HANG ON A SECOND. 249 00:13:42,103 --> 00:13:44,137 HELLO? 250 00:13:44,206 --> 00:13:47,310 IT'S THE DEFENSE MINISTER OF CHINA. 251 00:13:47,379 --> 00:13:49,000 THIS MAY TAKE A WHILE. 252 00:13:49,068 --> 00:13:51,448 HE'S KIND OF NEEDY. 253 00:14:02,068 --> 00:14:03,758 EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. 254 00:14:03,827 --> 00:14:05,206 YEAH? 255 00:14:05,275 --> 00:14:08,413 I HAVE TO STOP YOU FOR A FARTING VIOLATION IN THE PARK. 256 00:14:08,482 --> 00:14:12,482 YOU FARTED MORE THAN FIVE TIMES A MINUTE, AND THAT'S ILLEGAL. 257 00:14:12,551 --> 00:14:14,689 YOU CAN ONLY DO FIVE. YOU DID SEVEN. 258 00:14:14,758 --> 00:14:15,931 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 259 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,344 WELL, YOU WERE FARTING AS YOU CAME DOWN THE LANE. 260 00:14:18,413 --> 00:14:20,344 - I WASN'T FARTING, SIR. - YES, YOU WERE. 261 00:14:20,413 --> 00:14:21,896 FARTING, AS IN -- WHAT -- AS IN GAS? 262 00:14:21,965 --> 00:14:22,931 YES, IN GAS. 263 00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,758 YOU MIGHT WANT TO CHECK YOUR PANTS. 264 00:14:24,827 --> 00:14:26,482 SO, WE HAD SOMEONE FOLLOWING YOU. 265 00:14:26,551 --> 00:14:27,620 IT'S PROBABLY A DOG. 266 00:14:27,689 --> 00:14:29,517 SOME PEOPLE -- LIKE, FOR EXAMPLE -- 267 00:14:29,586 --> 00:14:32,655 THIS IS HUMAN, YOU KNOW, HOMO SAPIENS. 268 00:14:32,724 --> 00:14:33,965 AND... 269 00:14:34,034 --> 00:14:36,827 THE OWNERS DON'T -- DON'T PICK UP THE FECES. 270 00:14:36,896 --> 00:14:37,896 I JUST WANT TO LET YOU KNOW. 271 00:14:37,965 --> 00:14:38,862 OH, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT -- 272 00:14:38,931 --> 00:14:40,275 I'M GONNA LET YOU GO THIS TIME, 273 00:14:40,344 --> 00:14:41,655 BUT JUST WATCH IT IN THE PARK, OKAY? 274 00:14:41,724 --> 00:14:43,034 SO I CAN'T COME AND RUN? 275 00:14:43,103 --> 00:14:47,482 NO, YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T FART. 276 00:14:47,551 --> 00:14:49,137 OH, WHOA. OKAY? 277 00:14:50,862 --> 00:14:52,034 ALL RIGHT, I GOT TO GO. 278 00:14:52,103 --> 00:14:53,034 ALL RIGHT. 279 00:15:01,827 --> 00:15:05,000 SIR? SIR? CAN YOU HELP ME, PLEASE? 280 00:15:05,068 --> 00:15:06,172 I'M LOOKING FOR MY HUSBAND. 281 00:15:06,241 --> 00:15:09,000 HE'S GOT A RED SHIRT ON AND BLACK PANTS. 282 00:15:09,068 --> 00:15:11,448 HE'S A JOGGER. HAVE YOU SEEN HIM ANYWHERE? 283 00:15:11,517 --> 00:15:12,827 - CAN YOU HELP ME? - I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM. 284 00:15:12,896 --> 00:15:13,931 - ARE YOU SURE? - YEAH. 285 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,862 ALL RIGHT, WELL, THANKS. I'LL KEEP LOOKING. 286 00:15:15,931 --> 00:15:17,862 - YEAH, NO PROBLEM. - I'LL KEEP LOOKING. 287 00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:32,068 EXCUSE ME. 288 00:15:32,137 --> 00:15:34,068 YEAH, THANK YOU. 289 00:15:34,137 --> 00:15:35,724 OH. 290 00:15:35,793 --> 00:15:36,724 OH, MY. 291 00:15:36,793 --> 00:15:38,931 OH, MURRAY. 292 00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:42,724 NICE DAY. 293 00:15:44,724 --> 00:15:46,517 I'M GOING TO FLORIDA. 294 00:15:46,586 --> 00:15:48,344 OH. 295 00:15:48,413 --> 00:15:49,517 FLORIDA? 296 00:15:49,586 --> 00:15:50,517 FLORIDA. 297 00:15:50,586 --> 00:15:51,551 OH, WHERE IN FLORIDA? 298 00:15:51,620 --> 00:15:53,241 YEAH, I'M TAKING MY HUSBAND... 299 00:15:53,310 --> 00:15:54,551 OH, OKAY. 300 00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,103 ...MURRAY. 301 00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:59,344 HE ALWAYS WANTED TO TAKE A TRIP, BUT WE NEVER GOT AROUND TO IT. 302 00:15:59,413 --> 00:16:00,482 OH, THAT'S PERFECT, THEN. 303 00:16:00,551 --> 00:16:02,275 SO, I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE. 304 00:16:02,344 --> 00:16:04,172 MM-HMM. 305 00:16:04,241 --> 00:16:05,862 MURRAY, YOU'RE SO SWEET. 306 00:16:05,931 --> 00:16:07,241 I'M GONNA MISS YOU. 307 00:16:07,310 --> 00:16:08,689 WHERE IN FLORIDA ARE YOU GONNA GO? 308 00:16:08,758 --> 00:16:10,965 OH, I-I'M GONNA GO -- 309 00:16:11,034 --> 00:16:14,206 OH. 310 00:16:14,275 --> 00:16:16,241 I DON'T HAVE AN ALLERGY OR SOMETHING. 311 00:16:21,103 --> 00:16:22,275 OH, EXCUSE ME. 312 00:16:22,344 --> 00:16:24,482 OH. 313 00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:26,931 OH, I'M SO -- I'M SO SORRY. 314 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,000 OH, MY GOD. 315 00:16:29,068 --> 00:16:30,413 OH, I'M SO SORRY. 316 00:16:30,482 --> 00:16:31,413 THAT'S FINE. 317 00:16:31,482 --> 00:16:32,758 OH, DEAR. 318 00:16:32,827 --> 00:16:34,034 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 319 00:16:49,448 --> 00:16:50,862 LAST WEEK AT THE CLUB, 320 00:16:50,931 --> 00:16:53,689 THIS GUY ASKED IF HE COULD TAKE A PICTURE OF ME 321 00:16:53,758 --> 00:16:57,620 BECAUSE HE WANTED TO SHOW SANTA WHAT HE WANTED FOR CHRISTMAS. 322 00:16:59,034 --> 00:17:01,655 MEN AND THEIR CHEESY PICKUP LINES. 323 00:17:01,724 --> 00:17:03,103 I CAN TOP THAT. 324 00:17:03,172 --> 00:17:04,517 THIS GUY SAYS TO ME, 325 00:17:04,586 --> 00:17:08,344 "YOU MUST BE A THIEF... BECAUSE YOU'VE STOLEN MY HEART." 326 00:17:08,413 --> 00:17:09,586 OHH. 327 00:17:09,655 --> 00:17:12,379 LAST NIGHT AT THE CLUB, SOME GUY ASKED ME 328 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:14,931 HOW I LIKE MY EGGS DONE IN THE MORNING. 329 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,172 OOH. 330 00:17:16,241 --> 00:17:18,551 HOW DO YOU EVEN ANSWER SOMETHING LIKE THAT? 331 00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:22,344 SUNNY-SIDE UP. 332 00:17:22,413 --> 00:17:23,758 HOW'S THIS, BETTY? 333 00:17:25,344 --> 00:17:26,965 PERFECT. 334 00:17:47,068 --> 00:17:49,620 EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. 335 00:17:49,689 --> 00:17:51,103 EXCUSE ME. 336 00:17:55,068 --> 00:17:56,241 EXCUSE ME. 337 00:18:54,275 --> 00:18:56,517 DO YOU KNOW WHERE RAWLINS PARK IS? 338 00:18:56,586 --> 00:18:58,965 NO, I JUST MOVED HERE LIKE TWO DAYS AGO. I'M SORRY. 339 00:18:59,034 --> 00:19:02,172 OH. DO YOU SEE THAT -- YOU SEE THAT YELLOW ARROW? 340 00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:03,517 UH-HUH. OKAY. 341 00:19:03,586 --> 00:19:06,896 YOU TAKE THAT SOUTH. THAT'S NEW HAMPSHIRE, OKAY? 342 00:19:06,965 --> 00:19:08,689 YOU GET TO WASHINGTON CIRCLE. 343 00:19:08,758 --> 00:19:09,931 YEAH. 344 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:12,344 YOU GO AROUND WASHINGTON CIRCLE, TAKE 23rd SOUTH. 345 00:19:12,413 --> 00:19:14,965 YOU KNOW HOW TO GET THERE -- TO RAWLINS PARK? 346 00:19:15,034 --> 00:19:17,172 WELL, RIGHT, BUT YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T KNOW. 347 00:19:17,241 --> 00:19:19,172 WELL, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA ASK ME HOW TO GET THERE. 348 00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:20,620 - SO, OKAY, HERE'S THE MAP. - WHY AM I GOING THERE? 349 00:19:20,689 --> 00:19:23,655 WE'RE RIGHT HERE. HERE'S DUPONT CIRCLE. 350 00:19:23,724 --> 00:19:25,413 HERE WE GO -- DUPONT CIRCLE. UH-HUH. 351 00:19:25,482 --> 00:19:27,275 NEW HAMPSHIRE. OKAY. 352 00:19:27,344 --> 00:19:30,068 23rd. AND THERE'S RAWLINS PARK. 353 00:19:30,137 --> 00:19:31,482 - THERE YOU GO. - WHAT'S DOWN THERE? 354 00:19:31,551 --> 00:19:33,448 OKAY. NOW YOU KNOW HOW TO GET THERE. 355 00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,896 OUT OF THE WAY, BITCHES! YES! 356 00:19:58,724 --> 00:20:00,172 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING? 357 00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:04,172 WE WANT TO MAKE A VIRAL COVER VIDEO OF PSY'S "GANGNAM STYLE," 358 00:20:04,241 --> 00:20:06,034 AND WE'RE WORKING OUT THE DANCE MOVES. 359 00:20:06,103 --> 00:20:07,241 YOU WANT SOME HELP? 360 00:20:07,310 --> 00:20:09,344 BETTY, WE'VE SEEN YOUR DANCE MOVES. 361 00:20:09,413 --> 00:20:11,448 I DON'T THINK YOU'LL BE MUCH HELP. 362 00:20:11,517 --> 00:20:13,965 NOT ME -- LEARN FROM THE MASTER. 363 00:20:16,103 --> 00:20:19,034 COME ON, BETTY. WE GOT THIS. 364 00:20:19,103 --> 00:20:21,448 BUT THIS IS THE "GANGNAM STYLE" EXPERT. 365 00:20:21,517 --> 00:20:23,517 PSY, PUT YOUR GLASSES ON. 366 00:20:25,551 --> 00:20:28,103 PSY! 24946

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