Original subtitles

HEY -- WHAT --

WHAT THE...

NOW IT'S IN TUNE.

HEY!

TAKE MY PICTURE!

OH, MY GOD!

HIT ME!

COME BACK HERE!

SAY, "BIG BOOBS."

AAAAAAH! OH!

OKAY, TEAM. WE'VE GOT A FULL DAY OF PRANKING AHEAD OF US.

EVERYONE HAVE THEIR DISGUISES?

WHOA. HOLD ON.

BETTY, YOU HAVE SUCH A SWEET, LOVING FACE.

NOBODY WOULD CALL THE COPS ON YOU.

PLUS, I GET AWAY WITH A WHOLE LOT MORE WHEN I'M A WHITE LADY.

ME TOO.

DO YOU HAVE AN ASPIRIN? I HAVE A BIT OF A HEADACHE.

- HEY, GET BACK HERE! - OH, I GOT TO GO! I GOT TO GO!

I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!

HEY, JIMMY, WE GOT A RUNNER.

HERE YOU GO.

- THANK YOU. - SORRY FOR THE GLOVES.

I'M DEALING WITH A NIGHTMARE THING IN THE TOILET BACK THERE.

- I'LL BE BACK IN A MINUTE. - THANKS.

Man:

WE SHOULD PROBABLY SWAP THESE OUT

JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE.

OKAY. YOU DIDN'T DRINK OUT OF IT DID YOU?

OKAY.

DID YOU DRINK ANY?

I DID! OH, NO.

OH.

HEY, GIRL. HOW YOU DOING?

GIRL, I WENT TO THIS PARTY LAST NIGHT.

HOO -- IT WAS OFF THE CHAIN.

OH, YEAH. THERE WERE ALL THESE YOUNG GUYS THERE.

YOU KNOW THE KIND I LIKE.

GIRL, WHAT THEY LACK IN EXPERIENCE,

THEY MAKE UP IN STAMINA.

I DRANK THE PUNCH, AND IT MUST HAVE BEEN SPIKED,

'CAUSE THE NEXT THING I KNOW I AM UPSTAIRS IN THE BEDROOM

WITH THIS YOUNG GUY.

OH, YEAH, WELL, THEN THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW,

I AM DOING HIM RIGHT THERE IN THE HOT TUB.

MM-HMM.

LET'S JUST SAY HE WAS GIFTED, ALL RIGHT?

OH, YEAH, BUT NOW I'M HUNG OVER, GIRL.

I GOT THIS HEADACHE. AND LET ME CALL YOU BACK.

I THINK I'M FEELING A LITTLE SICK.

OKAY, BYE-BYE.

SHE SAID SHE WAS DOING HIM.

AND SHE SAID, "WHAT THEY LACK IN EXPERIENCE

THEY MAKE UP IN STAMINA."

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT MELON?

OH, IT'S A SPAGHETTI SQUASH.

- OH, IT'S A SPAGHETTI SQUASH? - YEAH.

OH, I DON'T LIKE THAT.

OH. I'M JUST TRY--

NO. UH, YOU -- YOU EAT THESE?

- MACADAMIA NUTS? - YEAH.

I LOVE 'EM. YOU DO?

YEAH. I DON'T LIKE THAT.

OH. BRUSSELS SPROUTS.

- BRUSSELS SPROUTS. - SEE, I'M BEING HEALTHY.

I'LL TAKE THESE. THANKS.

SOME VIEWERS HAVE SAID

THAT OUR PRANKS CAN BE A LITTLE DANGEROUS.

I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW WE TEST EVERYTHING FOR SAFETY.

HERE YOU GO, BETTY.

OH, THANK YOU, MICHAEL.

AAAAH!

NOW, YOU SEE, THAT'S NOT SAFE.

SO WE WON'T USE THAT ONE.

WATCH YOURSELF, OKAY?

OKAY.

YES! YES! HA!

THAT WAS THE STRANGEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN.

MAN, HE JUST REALLY DID NOT LIKE THOSE MUGS.

OH.

HOPE YOU'RE ENJOYING THE SHOW.

I'M JUST SITTING HERE, ENJOYING MY VIEW.

BETTY, I'M GONNA GET GOING NOW.

OH, THANK YOU, SERGIO. YOU'VE DONE A GREAT JOB.

IT'S ALWAYS MY PLEASURE. YOU KNOW THAT.

COME BACK TOMORROW?

MAYBE YOU CAN ACTUALLY CLEAN THE POOL.

AHH.

LISTEN, I WANT TO TALK TO YOU FOR ONE SECOND.

ARE YOU OKAY? I'M FINE.

YOU'RE NOT A PERVERT? ARE YOU?

NOT EXACTLY, BUT I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU --

DO NOT TELL ANYBODY

I'M NOT WEARING ANYTHING UNDER THIS TRENCHCOAT. OKAY?

- IT'S OUR SECRET. - THANKS.

OKAY. BYE.

HI. HOW ARE YOU?

WHERE DO YOU GET THAT?

UM...

FROM THE CEREAL AISLE.

REALLY? WELL, I'LL JUST TAKE THIS.

- OH, AND -- OH, I LIKE THESE BEANS, TOO. - EXCUSE ME?

NO, NO, NO, NO.

I'M SHARING.

WHAT?

YOU'RE TOO SLOW. WHAT TAKES YOU SO LONG?

CAN'T YOU HURRY?

YOU'RE TOO SLOW.

- Woman: LET'S GO. - YOU'RE TOO SLOW.

COME ON!

WE GOTCHA. WE GOTCHA!

THAT IS GROSS.

WHAT?

OH, HEY, THANKS FOR COVERING FOR ME.

OOH!

EXCUSE ME?

I FORGOT MY GLASSES. CAN YOU READ THIS TEXT?

IT SAYS, "WHERE ARE YOU?"

DO -- DO YOU KNOW HOW TO TEXT?

DO I KNOW HOW TO TEXT? YEAH.

YEAH.

CAN YOU SAY, "I'M IN LONG BEACH"?

THAT'S IT? JUST "IN LONG BEACH"?YEAH.

THERE YOU GO.

THANK YOU.

NO PROBLEM.

GOOD LUCK. YEAH.

OH, WAIT.

SHE JUST SENT ME SOMETHING. CAN YOU READ THAT?

WHAT DOES IT SAY?

IT SAYS, "I'M AT HOME NAKED."

- Woman: IS THAT WHAT IT SAYS? - YES.

I GUESS I'D BETTER GO.

OH, MY GOSH.

OKAY, LOU. HERE WE GO.

HUH? ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT. THERE YOU GO.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL SEE YOU IN A LITTLE BIT.

HAVE A GREAT DAY. ALL RIGHT.

"4-LETTER WORD."

"4-LETTER WORD FOR SOMETHING YOU'D SEE WAVING FROM A POLE"?

FLAG.

OR IS IT "SLUT"?

I-I MEAN, BOTH -- BOTH WORK.

SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT KEEPING YOUR BRAIN SHARP?

UH...

S-L-U-T.

AHH.

HEY, MAN. LOOK AT THAT.

WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING THERE?

- WHAT IS THAT? - PEPSI.

THANKS. I LOVE THAT. APPRECIATE IT.

WHAT?

EXCUSE ME? CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?

MY GRAND-NIECE IS GETTING MARRIED,

AND IT'S SEMI-FORMAL.

AM I DRESSED OKAY FOR THAT?

OH, I THINK SO. REALLY?

- DEFINITELY. - YEAH.

DO MOST YOUNG PEOPLE TODAY

- HAVE SEX BEFORE THEY GET MARRIED? - MOST.

YEAH. THEY DO?

WELL, THESE KIDS HAVE NEVER LIVED TOGETHER,

THEY'VE NEVER BEEN TOGETHER.

I THINK THAT'S AWFUL.

YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T BUY A COW UNLESS I TASTED THE MILK.

WOULD YOU?

I USED TO GO WITH THIS GUY WHO SAID,

"IT'S NOT THE SIZE OF THE BOAT.

IT'S THE MOTION OF THE OCEAN."

I THINK THAT'S BULL .

I MEAN, WHAT IF THE BOAT IS A DINGY,

OR, ON THE OTHER HAND,

WHAT IF IT'S THE SIZE OF THE TITANIC?

I WOULDN'T WANT THAT SMASHING INTO MY ICEBERG, YOU KNOW?

BLESS HIS HEART, WHEN MY HUSBAND WAS LIVING,

HE WAS A PINK SUBMARINE.

LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.

WHAT IS HE WORKING WITH?

HE'S GOOD.

I THINK I'M DOING ALL RIGHT.

HE IS THE WORLD'S BEST COMPUTER HACKER.

SITTING ON THE BOULEVARD, THEY CALL HIM, "THE BOULEVARD,"

BUT HE IS RAMON, THE WORLD'S GREATEST HACKER.

YOU'VE NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT.

HE'S BROKEN THE CODE OF EVERYTHING.

HE'S THE MAN THAT WE NEED.

HE IS THE MAN THAT'S GOING TO SAVE THE WORLD.

RAMON, THE GREATEST HACKER EVER,

STARRING THE GUY IN THE WHITE SHIRT,

THE RED HAT, AND THE GLASSES.

IN THEATERS NEAR YOU, THIS FALL.

RAMON, THE WORLD'S BEST COMPUTER HACKER.

HOW ARE YOU?

HELLO. HI.

DO YOU LIVE IN LOS ANGELES?

NO, I STAY IN LA PUENTE.

- LA PUENTE? - YEAH.

THAT'S WHERE I LIVE.

OH, OKAY. YEAH. YEAH.

THERE ARE SOME GOOD RESTAURANTS THERE.

YES, A LOT. RIGHT.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF FOOD? JUST CURIOUS.

I LIKE THAI FOOD AND SUSHI.

ME TOO.

- THAI AND SUSHI. - YEAH.

THAT'S IT. THAI FIRST, SUSHI SECOND.

RIGHT. RIGHT. RIGHT. WOW.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME, BY THE WAY?

JAHARRA.

JAHARRA? YEAH.

I HAVE AN AUNT NAMED JAHARRA.

OH.

YEAH, YEAH. MY NAME'S RICHARD.

HELLO. HELLO. HELLO.

IT'S AMAZING, YOU KNOW, TO RUN INTO SOMEBODY YOU HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON.

YEAH. I KNOW.

THAT'S RARE. I KNOW.

AT MY AGE...

I DON'T HAVE A LOT OF TIME TO, YOU KNOW, MESS AROUND.

- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? - YEAH.

SO... I WAS JUST WONDERING.

I WOULD CONSIDER MYSELF THE LUCKIEST MAN IN THE WORLD

IF YOU WOULD BE MY WIFE.

YOU KNOW, I COULD FEEL THE CONNECTION RIGHT AWAY.

NO, I UNDERSTAND. I UNDERSTAND.

YOU NEED A LITTLE TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT.

IT'S OKAY.

I'M GONNA GET SOME COFFEE. YOU THINK ABOUT IT.

OKAY. OKAY.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. OKAY.

HUH? YOU OKAY?

OH! GAH!

I JU-- YOU ALL RIGHT?

I GUESS I FELL ASLEEP AT THE WHEEL.

YEAH, YEAH. OKAY. GEE, HEY.

OH, THANKS, MAN. OKAY. NO WORRIES, BROTHER.

THANK YOU.

OH, EH -- OH, HEY.

YEAH, LET'S TAKE THE KEYS OUT AND JUST HOLD IT FOR A WHILE,

'CAUSE I DON'T WANT YOU GOING IN THE STREET.

YOU WANT TO GO PARK IN THE SHADE?

I'LL PUT IT IN THE SHADE, YEAH.

YEAH, LET'S GO OVER HERE.

HAVE A BEAUTIFUL WEEKEND.

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK WHEN YOU'RE DEEP IN YOGA,

BUT I JUST HAVE TO TELL YOU

HOW MUCH I'M ENJOYING MAKING FUN OF THE YOUNGER GENERATION.

MASTER, WHAT DO I GET OUT OF THIS POSITION?

A WHOLE LOT OF DATES.

THAT'LL TEACH HIM.

FELLAS!

SHE'S GOT A REALLY HOT DATE TONIGHT.

- OH, YEAH? - YEAH.

IT'S A THIRD ONE.

SO YOU KNOW SHE'S GONNA GET SOME --OKAY.

ANYWAY, YOU'RE THE GUY'S AGE.

AND WHICH ONE SHOULD SHE WEAR?

OH, BABY.

WHAT -- WHAT DO YOU THINK?

THIS IS TOUGH. WELL...

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE BETTER?

PERSONALLY, UH... I'D GO WITH THE, UH, BLACK.

THE BLACK? IT'S DEFINITELY THE BLACK.

SO, UH, YOU THINK THIS WILL GUARANTEE

THAT I'LL GET LUCKY?

YOU THINK?

YOU THINK?

UH, WELL, I HOPE.

I HOPE.

OKAY. GOOD LUCK.

- THANK YOU! - THANK YOU.

IS THAT YOU, RICHIE?

- OH, MY GOD, NICK! - RICHIE! I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN 20 YEARS.

- OH, MY GOD, NICK! - HOW YOU DOING?

HOW YOU BEEN, NICK? BOOM!

- BANG! AAH! AAH! - OH! OH!

YOU'RE BUYING.

LET'S GET A BEER. COME ON. RIGHT DOWN HERE, RIGHT DOWN HERE.

OH, MY GOD.

YEAH, COME ON.

DAMN, IT'S BEEN YEARS.

THAT'S SO SWEET.

GOOD AFTERNOON. HOW ARE YOU? HELLO.

OH, YOU KNOW, WE'D LIKE TO INVITE YOU

TO A FUN MIXER TONIGHT IF YOU'D LIKE TO COME.

YOU JUST NEED TO BE THERE BEFORE MIDNIGHT,

BECAUSE THAT'S WHEN WE HAVE THE WET T-SHIRT CONTEST.

OKAY?

WELL, WE LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING YOU THERE TONIGHT, OKAY? OKAY?

THANK YOU. GOOD DOG.

SEE YOU LATER.

OH, HI, THERE.

LOOKS LIKE WE'RE JUST ABOUT DONE WATCHING OUR SHOW.

AND THE LADIES AND I ARE JUST ABOUT DONE

WITH OUR HOME-IMPROVEMENT PROJECT.

YOU SAID YOU WANTED MY HELP WITH THE PROJECT.

OH, THERE IT IS.

NOW, COME ON. GO ON UP THERE AND GET -- GET BUSY.

ALL RIGHT, LADIES. MAKE IT RAIN.

OH.

SHOW'S OVER, BUT THE PARTY'S JUST BEGINNING HERE.

SEE YOU NEXT TIME.