Original subtitles

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

♪ There's a time for love And a time for livin' ♪

♪ So take a chance And face the wind ♪

♪ An open road and A road that's hidden ♪

♪ A brand-new life Around the bend ♪

♪ There were times ♪

♪ I lost a dream or two ♪

♪ Found the trail ♪

♪ And at the end was you ♪

♪ There's a path you take And a path not taken ♪

♪ The choice is Up to you, my friend ♪

♪ Nights are long But you might awaken ♪

♪ To a brand-new life ♪

♪ Brand-new life ♪

♪ A brand-new life Around the bend ♪

Twenty-eight, 29, 30--

How's this? How's this?

It's somebody's birthday, I wonder who,

it's Angela Bower's.

And she's looking almost as good as new, eh?

Oh, I can't wait till Friday to yell surprise.

Dad, will you forget it?

You know Angela snoops around

when her birthday's coming.

She's gonna find out,

especially with that immature blabbermouth in this house.

No way. Mona says she won't talk.

Well, I guess I better go help Mona move in.

Move in where?

Here. She's bunking with me

while her apartment's being painted. If that's okay with you.

What if it's not?

Then she takes your room, and you get the couch.

Go help your roomie.

All right!

Hello, Angela. Hello.

Uh, Tony, what day is tomorrow?

Um, Thursday.

Oh.

Well, then the day after that would be Friday.

Friday the 20th.

Oh! Thanks for reminding me.

About what?

I gotta clean out the garage on Saturday.

Saturday the 21st.

Oh.

Did I mention I went shopping today?

Uh, no. Where did you go?

Oh, the usual-- Bloomingdale's, Saks, Bonwit's...

Hallmark.

Oh, gosh. I knew I forgot something.

Bloomie's is having a great sale on sweat socks.

Relax, Sam.

I'm not going to tell about Angela's party--

[GASPS] [GASPS]

Why, you immature little blabbermouth!

Oh! Aww, you didn't forget.

No, it was Dad's idea.

Aww, how did you know I wanted a surprise party?

You told me last year at your birthday.

Aww! And you remembered.

Angela, please, stop aww-ing.

And you! Weeks and weeks of planning, all for naught.

Well, she doesn't know about the sweater you bought her.

Why, you...

[MUSIC PLAYS]

ANGELA: Tony...

Tony...

Tony...

ANGELA: Oh, Tony!

ANGELA: Well, good morning.

How's my favorite guy? Tired.

What, you have trouble falling asleep?

No, I had trouble staying asleep.

You kept calling Tony's name.

What? Calling for Tony?

Heh, no, honey. You must've been dreaming.

No, I don't think so.

It sounded like, "Tony."

Oh, I couldn't have.

"Oh, Tony."

I get the picture.

Uh...you know, I just remembered.

I did call Tony's name last night.

My window was stuck. I couldn't get it open.

Good morning, Angela.

Come on, pop tart. We'll miss the bus.

Okay. Uh...

Mom, why would you want your window open

when it was freezing outside?

Because...cold air is good for you.

Zip up.

Bye-bye.

Bye. Bye.

Have a good day.

Morning, Angela. What's your pleasure?

Why? What do you mean?

Nothing, I mean what do you want for breakfast? Are you okay?

Just coffee, and I'm-I'm fine.

Actually, I didn't sleep very well last night.

Did you?

Me? Slept like a log, heh.

Oh, so you didn't hear any strange noises?

Like what?

Like, uh-- Jonathan talking in his sleep.

Uh, I think he said something about wanting a pony.

A pony? No. No, I don't remember.

Hey. Once this head hits the bed, it's all over you know what I mean.

I'm talking lights out, Z city, good night, Mrs. Callabash.

[IMITATES SNORING, CHUCKLES]

Well, good.

I guess I better get going.

Have a nice day.

You too.

Ooh.

Tony, what if Jonathan sleep-talks again?

Well, I'm sure he won't, but, uh--

but if he does, I know how to stop it.

Oh? Yeah, yeah,

I used to have this teammate, Big Ted O'Brian,

and he started sleep-talking about this lady-friend.

He was afraid that Mrs. Big Ted

would find out. What'd he do?

He went to the team doctor, who gave him the cure.

You know, exercise, hot bath, warm milk, right before bed.

Did it work? No, no.

His wife caught them warming up in the bullpen, heh.

Did it work for the sleep-talking?

Oh! Yeah, like a charm.

Oh. I think I'll draw a hot bath tonight...

For Jonathan. Ah.

Well...good bye. Bye.

Bye.

Hm.

Okay, now, we grab all the food.

We grab the food, we stuff our faces,

we talk about boys all night long,

and then we tell your dad we went to sleep at 10:00.

Mona, you are such a bad influence.

We've gotta do this more often.

[SAM GIGGLES]

[JUMPING FOOTSTEPS]

Shh! Shh!

You hear that?

Maybe it's a burglar.

I hope not.

I look a wreck!

[COUNTING QUIETLY]

[SCREAMS]

Oh. Hi. What are you doing here?

[IN ROBOTIC VOICE] We are here to pillage and plunder.

[LAUGHING] What are you doing, jumping up and down?

Oh, was I jumping up and down?

I guess I'm all revved-up about my birthday.

Angela, I think your turban's wound too tight.

Bye, Angela. Time to go oink out.

Good night, dear. Sweet dreams. Bye.

I'll settle for quiet ones.

ANGELA: Tony, Tony.

Uh, I guess the window's stuck again.

ANGELA: Tony...

Tony...

Listen to me!

We're listening.

Okay, okay. Come on, come on.

Let's go back to bed. Come on, let's go.

Come on, the excitement's over.

Break it up. Come on.

ANGELA: Tony!

I love you!

Pancakes for breakfast?

Uh-huh.

[SIGHS]

[CHUCKLES]

Why did Mom say that about you last night?

Oh. Hey, hey, hey.

Maybe we're jumping to conclusions here, huh?

How do we even know that Angela was talking about me?

Angela knows a lot of other Tonys.

Like who?

Well, uh... Tony Bennett, huh?

Tony Randall, huh?

Tony-- Tony the mechanic.

Heh. His name is Julio. [TONY GROANS]

All right, all right. So maybe it was me, huh?

All right, maybe it was me. But, you know,

I mean, maybe Angela's just carried away

'cause I'm throwing her a party.

You know how she gets about parties--

Sentimental overload.

Feeble, Dad.

All right, all right, all right, all right.

What did Angela really say last night?

She loves me.

So what, huh?

I love her.

Just like I love you, and you, and Mona.

This is a very loving household, understand?

No. [SIGHS]

Dad, it's okay. I'm really happy for you.

And if things all work out, I have dibs on your room.

Are you saying what I think you're saying?

Yeah! Your mom has it bad for my dad!

S-- Samantha.

And my dad has cocker spaniel eyes for your mom.

Uh--!

Excuse me, but nobody has it bad for anyone.

And there are no dog eyes in this house

except for Grover's. [SCOFFS]

Sure, Dad. All right, all right,

so Angela thinks I'm a terrific man.

I think she's a terrific woman.

And that's it, we're both terrific people,

over and out.

And if anything should happen to change,

you two'll be the first to know.

If Mom talks any louder,

the neighbors will be the first to know.

Har-dee-har-har.

Listen, nobody's gonna know nothin'.

Because what you heard last night

was Angela's very private thoughts.

And I think we should-- We should respect that privacy.

Now, I don't think we should say anything.

Lie.

Samantha!

Lie.

Uh-oh.

Jonathan, one peep out of you,

and your lizard's a watch band.

Well, hi, sweethearts. Hi, Mom.

Hi, Angela. Mmm. Great dress.

Thank you. Isn't there something else you want to say?

Oh, yeah!

Nice do.

No, I was expecting to hear:

"Happy birthday, I love you."

Oh, that.

Happy birthday, Mom.

I love you. Oh! Mmm.

Happy birthday, Angela. I love you too.

In fact, this is one very loving household.

Yeah, we are one lucky bunch, aren't we?

Yeah.

So, sweetheart, how did you sleep last night?

Uh...last night?

Oh, I slept like a log.

I think I even snored.

[IMITATES SNORING]

Well, that's wonderful.

See you tonight at the birthday fest. Muah!

Bye. Muah!

You did good, kid.

Only next time, lose the snoring bit.

Hey, Mona. How's the painting going?

Don't change the subject.

Dish me the dirt about last night.

Mona, if you don't mind, I'd rather not talk about it.

All right. All right, Mr. Sensitive.

Not another word...

not even in my sleep.

[GIGGLES]

Oh, hey, Mona, look who it is. Ready, hit it.

[IN UNISON] ♪ It's somebody's birthday I wonder who ♪

♪ It's somebody right In this room near you ♪

♪ So look all around you Until you see who ♪

♪ Is laughing and smiling My goodness, it's you ♪

[ANGELA SQUEALS, LAUGHS]

Oh!

Oh! Oh!

You guys!

All right. What does the birthday girl

want for her birthday breakfast?

Birthday omelet? Birthday pancakes?

Birthday French toast?

[LAUGHS] Birthday coffee with birthday milk.

And you know, the birthday sugar's on the table.

Thank you.

Think I'm going to have a birthday barf.

Angela, I have a special present for you.

Oh, Mother, you shouldn't have. What is it?

I'm not going to the office today.

You always know what I want.

I have to keep my eye on those painters in my apartment.

One of them works without a shirt on.

Ah. Well, that's because you got the thermostat

jacked up to 90. Yeah.

I wonder what he'd take off at 100.

Oh, okay. Tony, I'll leave you to your party preparations.

I'll leave you to your cheap thrills. See you at 6.

Hey! Hey, don't be late. Remember, it's a surprise party.

I know. [TONY SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

Oh... Okay, now...

Where were we?

You were prying, and I was ignoring.

I bet I win. Look, Mona,

if I were you, I'd forget what you heard last night.

Because, you know, listening to Angela sleep talk

is just as bad as reading her mail.

So what? I do that too.

TONY: Mona, she was just sleep talking.

MONA: She was sleep-gushing.

Hi, Mom.

Oh, uh, Jonathan, what are you doing here?

I forgot my homework. The bus is waiting.

Oh, I-I was looking for my keys.

Oh.

Well, here they are.

Oh, by the way,

you can hear better if you tilt your head.

TONY: Mona, it was no big deal.

No big deal?

She said she loves you.

I know. I was there.

So was I. So were the kids.

We all heard it.

TONY: Mona, please, enough.

MONA: Tony, I can't stop thinking about it. Tell me.

TONY: There is nothing to tell.

Level with me.

You and Angela

have some heavy-duty feelings for each other, right?

Mona, would you lighten up?

This is not The Young and the Restless.

Come on here. I mean, hey,

Angela's just sleep talking 'cause she ate too much lasagna.

So what are you going to do about it?

Use less garlic.

Tony, it's a tough world out there.

[GROANS]

And good relationships are hard to come by.

So if someone says that they love you,

even if they're asleep,

you go for it. I would.

Heh, heh. Well, that's you.

It's different with me and Angela.

Oh, are you kidding me?

There is enough electricity in this house

to light up a small city.

Oh, come on. No way, Mona. No--

Well, maybe Dubuque.

TONY: Oh, I can't understand this. Where is she?

Oh, boy.

Where did you go?

Oh.

Dad, can I ask a dumb question?

Why are we trying to surprise Angela

if she already knows about the party?

Because I planned a surprise party,

and that's what she's gonna get: a surprise party.

Just thought I'd ask.

Any other questions?

Yeah. Where is she?

I've been sitting in the dark for a half hour.

Maybe we should cut the cake.

Don't even breathe on that cake.

I want everything to be just perfect for Angela.

Boy.

This chocolate fudge cake is heaven.

Oh, Mona, how could you do that?

I didn't touch any of the letters.

Uh-oh.

Well, so it says, "Happy birthday, ngela."

[GROANS]

It's the worst surprise party I ever gave in my whole life.

The guest of honor doesn't show up,

I got a half-eaten cake,

and I just broke the rubber band on my hat.

Where could she be?

The answering service said she left the office hours ago.

Guys, maybe she decided she didn't want a surprise party.

No way. Mom was so excited,

she tried to find out

what Grandma and Tony were getting her.

What do you mean?

This morning, when I came back to get my homework,

I saw her listening at the kitchen door.

Uh-oh. Trouble.

All right, all right, all right. Let's not overreact.

I'll check all the hospitals. You check 31 Flavors.

[MUSIC PLAYS]

Happy birthday, Angela.

It's just you and me, kid.

Troubles, lady?

I can't believe what I did.

I was talking in my sleep,

and I said I love my housekeeper,

and everybody heard me.

You love your housekeeper?

This ain't that kind of bar, lady.

No.

No, you don't understand.

My housekeeper's a man. Ah.

and I can never face him again.

That's really humiliating.

This one's on the house.

Right now, my family's throwing me a party,

but I'm too embarrassed to go.

Do you think I'm a horrible person?

Uh, shouldn't you be telling this to a shrink?

I tried. She's on vacation.

Mine always leaves an emergency number.

Yo, yo, give me another belt.

Make it a double.

Okay. Another virgin tequila sunrise coming up.

Hey, lady, you sure you don't want anything stronger?

Oh, no. I'm-I'm fine.

The grenadine is really beginning to kick in.

I'm feeling a lot better.

Lady, uh, if you're so crazy about this guy,

why haven't you said so when you're awake?

Because I--

I don't know.

Well, it's obvious to me.

Your subconscious is manifesting

deep-seated desires,

but your conscious self is in a sublimation mode.

In lay parlance,

you ain't ready.

You must have studied under a great bartender.

This seat taken?

Tony.

Uh, how did you find me?

Ah, the Micelli network.

First, Frank the conductor

saw you get off the Fairfield train.

I called Al the fireman, Joe the policeman

and Roxy the meter maid

to keep an eye out for your Jag.

Which one of them found me? Tony the housekeeper.

I was across the street filling my van.

I spotted your car. Angela,

what are you doing on this side of town?

Mona wouldn't even come to a place like this.

Mona?

You know Mona?

Great little hula dancer.

Uh... Joe, say aloha to Tony Micelli, my housekeeper.

Oh, so you're the deep-seated desire, huh?

You told him?

Well, why not? Everybody else knows.

Angela, we have to talk.

Tony, you don't have to say anything. I'm fine.

I'm perfectly fine. Really.

Uh, the number of my shrink.

Uh, thank you.

Look, Tony,

in-in light of my bedroom blatherings, I, um,

I don't think our situation gonna work anymore.

One of us has to move.

I'll look for a place in the morning.

Oh, come on, Angela.

Nobody's moving anywhere.

You shouldn't be embarrassed about last night.

You didn't do anything that I haven't done.

Remember that time when I was getting my appendix out?

And I was under that anesthesia,

and I said pretty much close to what you said.

You said exactly what I said.

All right, okay, so there you go.

We both have, you know, feelings.

You two would make a great couple

if you could both stay unconscious.

He has a point, Tony. Oh, baloney.

I don't have to be unconscious to tell you how I feel.

You don't? No.

So tell me.

Tell you what?

How you feel.

Oh, oh, that.

Well, uh...

Well, Angela, uh, look, uh...

We know each other a long time,

and, uh... And we live down the hall.

And, uh...

We've shared many... appliances.

And, um, well, when you've been through all of that...

Well, let me put it another way, Angela. You know...

It's a tough world out there, huh?

Well, I guess that about wraps it up.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

BARTENDER: Happy birthday

to today's best customer.

Oh...

Make a wish. Thank you.

When I was a little girl... Ah...

I used to stay up all night before my birthday,

thinking of what I was going to wish.

And when I finally decided,

I made sure that I didn't tell anybody

because, well, then I was sure

that it just wouldn't come true.

Angela, the candle's melting in the beer nuts.

[BLOWS]

Hope your wish comes true.

You do? Yes.

Happy birthday.

Come on. Let's get out of here.

You got family waiting for you

and a cake that says, "Happy birthday, la" on it.

What?

Never mind. Just say goodbye to Joe.

Good-bye, Joe. Thanks. Good night.

Take care, Joe.

Hey, uh, Angela. Yeah?

You ever been to Dubuque?

Dubuque?

it's a nice city. Very well-lit.

[MUSIC PLAYS]

ANGELA: Oh, chocolate fudge.

Can I have another piece?

[SIGHS]

SAM: Aw, Dad, please just let me go to the mall.

MONA: Oh, Charlie, I love the way you...

painted the ceiling.

TONY: Micelli steps up to the plate.

Here's the pitch. And it's going, going, gone!

This is Mel Allen...

ANGELA: Oh, are those cookies for me?

[ANGELA, SAM, MONA, & TONY'S VOICES OVERLAPPING]

Oh, I can't take it anymore!

Stop!

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]