Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

♪ There's a time for love And a time for livin' ♪

♪ So take a chance And face the wind ♪

♪ An open road And a road that's hidden ♪

♪ A brand-new life Around the bend ♪

♪ There were times ♪

♪ I lost a dream or two ♪

♪ Found the trail ♪

♪ And at the end was you ♪

♪ There's a path you take And a path not taken ♪

♪ The choice is up to you My friend ♪

♪ Nights are long But you might awaken ♪

♪ To a brand-new life ♪

♪ Brand-new life ♪

♪ A brand-new life Around the bend ♪

I don't know why I read the paper.

Everything's so depressing.

It's acid rain, government scandal, Central America.

Oh, you think that's bad.

Mr. Dithers is about to fire Dagwood.

Mr. Dithers, is he still alive?

Yes.

He must be over 100.

Yeah. And not a wrinkle.

You want some more coffee?

Oh, I'll get it.

No, no. This is your day off.

I wouldn't think of interrupting your mindless pursuits.

Oh, well, thank you, Angela.

You're welcome, Tony.

Well, let me make myself comfy here, huh?

Ooh, boy. This Brenda Starr,

she's a looker.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

SAMANTHA: I'll get it!

Oh, good.

Hi! Ooh! Ooh!

Major textiles.

Nice pearl accents.

Très preppie.

It should be great, you know what it cost me?

Practically nothing.

So, what's the big news?

Tell us! Tell us!

Later. Come on.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What later? What--? What news?

It's no biggie, Dad. I'm just going to the library.

Decked out like that?

It's a study date.

With who, Calvin Klein?

Samantha, since when do you go on study dates?

Dad. I'm a high school freshman now.

My time is very limited.

I have to combine activities whenever I can.

Oh, good, good. You could smile when you take out the garbage.

You have to take out the garbage?

Our housekeeper does that.

Whoops. Sorry, Mr. Micelli.

Okay, Sam, who is this young scholar, anyway?

Why haven't you mentioned this before?

And how come I haven't met him?

Can we continue this in the kitchen, please?

Oh, I'd be delighted. Excuse us.

Why can't parents just give you money and leave you alone?

Yeah.

Dad, do you have to cross-examine me

in front of my friends?

Oh, no, I can do it anywhere.

This sounds like a father-daughter moment.

Maybe we should leave them alone.

No, please stay. I need all the help I can get.

Well, I don't know what the issue is,

but I'm with you, sister.

Aw, sure, go ahead. All of youse gang up on me.

It's the only chance I've got.

Dad, look, if you haven't noticed,

I'm growing up.

Yeah, yeah, I noticed.

Any chance I could talk you out of that?

Dad, I'm in high school now, and I need more independence.

You can't ask me about every little thing.

You're right. Who is this guy?

He's someone you don't know.

Well, why don't I know him?

Because I don't know him too well, either.

How can you go out with a guy you barely know?

Well, I--

[MUTTERS]

I don't know about this. I mean, we had an agreement.

Before you go out with them, I get to meet them.

Come on, Dad. Loosen up.

Yeah, Dad. Chill out, man.

[MUTTERS]

I think what Samantha and Mother are trying to say

is that every young girl needs a little privacy.

I mean, what's the problem

if you know who she's gonna be with,

where she's going, and what time she's coming back?

Mason, library, 5:30.

Oh.

I guess.

[WOMEN CHEER]

All right!

Right on!

Dad, and please, no more third degree, okay?

Okay.

[GROANING]

Tony, you're growling again.

College?

Shh!

Does your dad know you're dating a college man?

Honey, my father treats me as an adult.

I don't have to account for my every move.

Wow...

So... What's his name? How'd you meet him?

Where? Come on, give us the deets.

His name is Mason, and I met him at the mall in the bookstore.

What were you doing in a bookstore?

Getting change to use the phone.

Does he know you're in high school?

Sure he does, but he doesn't mind.

I mean, chronologically, I'm almost 15,

but emotionally, I'm at least 16.

And since girls mature faster than boys,

my 16 is like being in college.

So even though I'm in high school...I'm not.

So does that mean we'll see you in school tomorrow or what?

When do we get to meet this guy?

Meet him? Uh, well, he's kind of busy.

Well, doesn't he have some free time?

Sure, but even his free time is busy.

You know how it is in college.

Oh, yeah.

Come on, guys. Walk me to the bus.

[HUMMING]

SAMANTHA: Hey, bye, Dad.

Okay, Samantha, look, have a good time,

and don't strain your eyes.

Oh, Julie, that reminds me.

I gotta give your mother that recipe for

Grandma's eggplant parmesan.

But Dad, I've gotta go.

Go ahead, I'll catch up with you.

Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. Bye! Bye!

So Julia...

Sam's got a hot date, huh?

Oh, yeah. He's really hot.

[BOTH GIGGLING]

How hot?

Well, he's--

Wait a minute.

I know what you're trying to do, Mr. Micelli,

but it won't work.

Oh, you're sharp, Julia.

Ooh, are you sharp. Wow.

You know, we can use people like you in the CIA,

and I think they do.

Um, let's see. Where is that recipe?

Let's see. Um... Oh, hey, but, Julia,

not for nothing, you mean to tell me you're not gonna

go down and check this guy out?

Nah. You need ID.

ID? No, I-- I don't think you need ID to get in the library.

Sure you do.

No, no. No, you don't.

Sometimes you do.

Oh, like when?

Like when it's a college.

Aha!

Oh, no. I'm dog meat.

We work well together, Julia.

Uh...Samantha,

I-- I reserved a table off in the corner

where it's quiet and we can be alone.

Alone?

You know, Mason, it's hard for me to concentrate

when it's too quiet.

Let's just stay out here where the action is.

Whatever you say.

Thank you.

So how do you like my library?

Nice.

Lots of books.

Actually, the section on thermonuclear physics

is pretty thin.

Serious bummage.

Good word!

You know, you certainly have your finger

on the pulse of American slang.

I try.

You know, Sam, I've been thinking a lot about today.

Me too.

Hey, where do the cheerleaders sit?

I love your mind!

You come at the world from such an interesting angle.

Thanks.

So?

Where do they sit?

Oh, I'm sorry. The cheerleaders don't come here.

Only the football players.

Football players?

Here?

Sure, they come to see me.

It's a symbiotic relationship.

I help them pass their courses.

They let me use their weight room.

But I guess that's kind of obvious.

Oh, yeah.

Well, since this is a study date,

I guess we should study.

Right.

I need some periodicals. I have to get an article

on fiber optics and superconductivity.

Hey, see if they have a copy of Vogue.

[LAUGHS]

Hey, there.

Hi.

Skeeter? Skeeter Barnes?

How'd you recognize me out of uniform?

I read...

about you on the sports page.

[CHUCKLES] Uh, where's Mason?

He's supposed to tutor me in Marriage and Family.

You know, if I flunk,

they're gonna make me give back the Mercedes.

You're kidding. Heh.

Boy, life just isn't fair.

Tell me about it. Like this Sunday.

I blocked this punt, you know.

I scoop it up, I take the ball

the length of the field for a touchdown.

They call it back?

They don't put my picture in the paper.

Wow. This is great.

Jock talk with Skeeter Barnes.

Wait until I tell my friends.

I'm gonna check 'em out.

Okay.

Excuse me, sir.

Yeah.

Are you a student?

No. No. Never was.

Good athlete, though.

Um, I'm looking for my daughter.

She's got brown hair, brown eyes and a beautiful smile.

Well, that narrows it down

to 50 percent of the girls on campus.

Yeah, yeah. Well, I tell you what.

Picture me in a dress, only younger and smaller.

Oh, her.

The reading room.

Oh, by the way,

you do have a beautiful smile.

Oh, thanks. I use a whitener and a brightener.

Careful! Person here.

Oh, oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It's just that my daughter's on a study date with some guy.

When I find him, I'm gonna wring his neck.

What does your daughter look like?

Like that.

Oh, no.

What?

Nothing.

I break the tackle, I head around the outside here.

It's beautiful. I was wide open.

You...

ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Oh, no!

I can't believe it. How did you know I was here?

I have my ways.

Julia is dog meat.

Do you have any idea how old she is,

you cradle robber?

Dad, you've got it all wrong.

I've got it all wrong? Let me tell you something, Mason,

she's nothing but a freshman in high school! She's a kid!

Will you listen to me?

Hey, pal,

you're messing up my story about the three broken tackles.

And I ain't Mason.

Oh.

Skeeter.

Word gets around.

That's what I've been trying to tell you.

Okay, okay. If he's not Mason, that's all right.

I'm not leaving this and nobody else is leaving

until I find this Mason guy. Where is he?

Thanks, everybody.

You're Mason?

How do you do?

TONY: What are you doing there?

[WAILS] Losing my grip.

Samantha, he can't be over 15.

I can if you let me live.

What are you doing in college?

Majoring in Abnormal Psychology,

minoring in Kinetic Physics.

Well, what are you doing in college?

I'm being humiliated by my father.

Hey, Samantha, you come back here!

How could you do this to me?

Sa--

So Mason, how are your grades?

One more level and this will be

the highest house of cards ever built.

You think I can do it, Grandma?

No way.

Mother, that is a terrible way to talk to a child.

Haven't you heard of positive reinforcement?

Are you getting a double chin?

Hi.

Don't slam the door!

Well...

look who is here.

The spy who came in from the library.

I guess Sam is back.

And she told us everything.

And you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

If you weren't the cook,

I would send you to your room with no dinner.

Well, sure, sure. Go ahead.

Take her side in this.

She probably blew it out of proportion.

What did she tell you?

She said you stormed in there,

you yelled at a star football player,

you pulled a young innocent boy off a ladder,

and called her a kid in front of the entire library.

Oh, no way, no way. That kid fell off the ladder.

I didn't pull him.

Well, that changes everything.

Let me just tell you something.

A college library is no place for a 14 year old.

Almost 15.

I don't care if she's almost 16.

And anyway, all she had to do was level with me, you know?

I am not an unreasonable father.

Ha!

I am a very open-minded parent.

Double ha!

Don't make a draft!

You know what the funny thing about this is?

I'll tell you what the funny thing is.

I like this kid. I mean, hey,

he's innocent, he's awkward, he's shy.

Everything I'm looking for in a guy.

Isn't this a bitter irony?

He's your type. He's Sam's type.

Sam's type? What makes you think that?

Tony, all the signs are there.

The new sweater, the new skirt, the pearls.

She came back brokenhearted.

I'm telling you, she's hurting.

The first cut is the deepest.

Angela, things are bad enough

without quoting Rod Stewart.

All right, all right.

Sorry.

I broke her heart.

I'm gonna have to go mend it.

It's not gonna be easy.

How can you mend a broken heart?

Now the Bee Gees, Angela?

What is this, Name That Tune?

I'm sorry. I'll let it be.

Where are you going?

Well, it's not too late yet. I'm gonna go find Mason

and get those two kids back together again.

♪ How can you mend... ♪

Don't slam the door!

♪ A broken heart ♪

Grandma, I did it! I did it!

Yes, Jonathan?

[♪♪♪]

Is my father gone?

Yeah, he is.

Come on down here.

Come here.

How are you feeling?

Ah...

Well?

Angela, I've got major father problems.

[STAMMERING]

I know the feeling.

You do?

I thought it was your mother.

Yeah, that too.

Sam, when I was about your age,

my father was very protective of me.

And when I had my first high school dance,

he didn't trust my date,

so he volunteered to be a chaperone.

Oh, Angela, that's so embarrassing.

No, embarrassing was when everyone was doing the frug,

and my father started a conga line.

I can't believe it.

You actually did the frug?

That's not really the point of the story, Sam.

The point is,

sometimes...

Sometimes fathers have a hard time

letting their little girls grow up.

Tell me about it.

So you got to be patient,

and you got to give him-- You got to give him room to grow.

You know, he's never had a 14-year-old daughter before.

Almost 15.

Yeah.

And remember, honey,

whatever crazy thing he does,

he does it because he loves you.

Just like my father loved me.

Angela, you're making it hard for me to stay mad.

I'm sorry about that.

And I know something

that's gonna make it a lot harder.

Do you know where your father is right now?

At the mall buying me a new outfit?

No.

No, it's much better than that.

Yeah?

Yeah.

He's bringing Mason over here

so you two can get back together.

What?

Oh, no. I'm dead.

Oh, you mean that's not what you want?

Angela, Mason is shy, awkward, and innocent,

everything I'm not looking for in a guy.

[GASPS] Oh, dear.

Sam.

You're never gonna guess.

You couldn't find him?

Ah...

[LAUGHS]

Here he is...

Your boy genius and mine...

Mason Peters.

Hey, babe.

[LAUGHING]

Hey, I taught him that.

Dad, can I speak to you for a minute?

Any time, sweetheart.

Hey, you stay right here, Mase, huh?

We're on a first-syllable basis.

So Mase...

I, uh...

I understand you're majoring in Psychology.

That must really prepare you

for life's little setbacks.

Not really. Not when you're as vulnerable as I am.

Oh.

Dad, what is he doing here?

Well, look, honey, I thought about it,

and I realized that I went crazy again,

and I made a minor scene.

This is my way of saying I'm sorry.

You really blew it.

Huh?

Dad, I don't like Mason.

I mean, not in that way.

Well, what were you doing with him

in the library then?

I wanted to see what the college scene was like.

The college scene?

Sweetheart, you just got into the high school scene.

What's the rush?

Dad, you don't understand.

Yeah-- Yes, I do. I understand.

I mean, you wanted to feel grown-up.

I wanted to feel grown-up when I was a kid.

Oh, Dad, please, not another "when I was a kid" story.

All right, all right.

What, Angela told you about the conga line?

Samantha, you know, being a kid is a special time.

You really got to enjoy it.

Because before you know it,

you'll be telling your own kid "when I was a kid" stories.

Never. I'll just smack them around. It'll be a lot kinder.

Speaking of kindness,

there's a shy, awkward kid out there

who thinks you really like him.

What's gonna happen when he finds out you don't?

You're right.

I didn't think of that.

Well...

you're just gonna have to tell him

that you won't let me date a college guy.

Oh, well, sorry, Sam,

but this is one you're gonna have to handle yourself.

Okay...

I'll tell him that you won't let me date a college guy.

Heh, heh. That's not good enough, Sam.

You know, being grown-up

is more than wearing preppy clothes

and sneaking into libraries.

I mean...

It's got to do with not using people,

and-and being upfront with people

and a lot of other things

we're gonna talk about when you're 28.

But, hey...

if you want me to treat you like a grown-up...

this is a good chance for you to act like one.

[SIGHS]

And it's interesting.

Even though Pavlov is given most of the credit,

you know, theory of behavioral conditioning,

you've really got to tip your hat

to Harlow and his monkeys.

Amazing.

I never knew that side of it.

Angela, would you mind if--?

Not at all.

Uh...

I'm looking so forward to reading your thesis.

Excuse me.

Lovely woman.

She didn't understand a word I said.

Uh...

Mason, I don't know how to tell you this.

You don't have to.

Your dad filled me in.

I'm crazy about you too.

Oh, right. He's right in the next room.

Mason, there might have been a slight misunderstanding here.

Sometimes people go out with people

for the wrong reasons.

Am I getting dumped?

Mason, you're a genius.

You don't want someone without a high school diploma.

Yep, I'm getting dumped.

I knew I should have taken you to the Yale library.

Actually, that wouldn't have mattered.

Mason, I did something not very nice.

I went out with you because you're in college...

and I wanted to hang out there

to impress my friends and feel grown-up.

I didn't stop to think that you might get hurt.

Mason, say something.

I'm hurt.

Anything but that.

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

Is there anything I could do

to make you feel better?

Nah.

Yeah.

Come with me to my homecoming dance.

It would be great to walk in there

with a babe like you on my arm.

But then you'd be using me.

Yeah.

Okay.

If my dad lets me.

Okay, Dad, you can come out now.

How's it going?

Great. I'm going to the homecoming dance with Mason,

if that's okay with you.

That means you didn't tell--

Yes, she dumped me, Mr. Micelli,

but she did it with such panache.

She gets that from me, you know.

So can I go without a parental chaperone?

How about parental transportation to and from?

That's the best deal you're gonna get.

I'll take it.

Oh, good. Oh, my girl.

Oh, Mason, oh.

Oh, isn't this nice?

Friends, father, daughter,

me.

ANGELA: Come on. It will be fun.

MONA: Oh, no way, Angela.

SAMANTHA: This is so embarrassing.

JONATHAN: Please don't make us.

TONY: I thought you hated this.

ANGELA: Okay, everybody.

ALL: One, two, three, la conga!

One, two, three, la conga!

One, two, three, la conga!

One, two, three, la conga!

[♪♪♪]