Original subtitles

[♪♪]

♪ There's a time for love And a time for living ♪

♪ You take a chance And face the wind ♪

♪ An open road And a road that's hidden ♪

♪ A brand new life Around the bend ♪

♪ There were times I lost a dream or two ♪

♪ Found the trail And at the end was you ♪

♪ There's a path you take And a path not taken ♪

♪ The choice is up to you My friend ♪

♪ Nights are long But you might awaken ♪

♪ To a brand new life ♪

♪ Brand new life ♪

♪ A brand new life Around the bend ♪

[♪♪]

How's that letter coming?

I just finished it.

It's absolutely perfect. Not one typo.

You know, mother...?

I've been thinking. Uh-oh.

Cordially is too...cordial.

No, cordially is just cordial enough.

No, we should make it more sincere.

Sincerely.

Aw, you're probably right. Cordial is fine.

Hey!

Swish! Two points. Heh, heh.

You know the worst thing about working for Angela?

The typing?

No, Angela.

C'mon now, Mona. She's a great boss.

Tony, I'm taking a client out to dinner

at the club tonight. Could you go to the cleaners

and pick up my grey suit, make sure the car has gas in it,

the battery has whatever you put in it, and have it back by 5:30.

What a slave driver.

Um, Mother, I need a copy

of the Brightview Lighting Prospectus,

the media plan, and...

there's only one "D" in dear.

Angela, you'd make fun of a person with a typing impediment?

Oh! [CHUCKLES]

Two for two here. Hey, Angela, I think it's great.

I think it's great that you're branching out, you know?

You have your own agency now, you have your own office.

Why don't you work there? Huh?

We do work there. We work everywhere.

We work in the car, on the way to the train,

we work on the train, on the way to the office.

Yesterday, she followed me into the ladies room

with a dictaphone.

I couldn't help it. I got inspired.

Mother, Mother, where are you going?

You have to finish this letter.

Dear, Angela.

Take a hike.

Cordially, Mother.

Make that, "sincerely".

Hey, guess what today is?

Um, I'd say Tuesday, but I always get the easy ones wrong.

It's report card day.

Hey. Oh, I love report card day.

He always comes home with straight A's.

Makes me so proud.

Angela, aren't you putting a little pressure on the kid?

What if he didn't get straight A's?

You're right. Um, sweetheart,

I want you to know that the grades aren't important.

You tried your best and that's what matters.

What did you get? Straight A's!

[SCREAMING] I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!

Hi, everybody.

Hi, Sam. Honey, honey...

...don't you have something to show me?

Oh, yeah, my new shirt. I borrowed it from Marci.

Wow, it's very nice. Heh, heh.

But I was thinking about something else.

Hm...I wonder what that could be.

Well, uh, let's see, let me give you a hint.

It should have an A in it.

If it had four B's and a C, you'd be closer.

A "C"! What did you get a C in?

Sex education.

C's good.

Oh, Mom, my teacher told me to give you this.

Oh, letter from the teacher.

Let's see what wonderful things she has to say about you.

Oh, dear...

What's the matter? Hey, what happened?

What? You get in a fight on the playground, pal?

Uh-uh. I don't even go on the playground.

Yeah, that's what your teacher says.

She seems to think you're a little too serious.

She seems to think that an extra-curricular activity

would broaden your horizons.

Hey, that's great. That's a great idea.

You could join a team after school.

You mean a sports team?

No, Angela, the 6 o'clock news team.

Of course, a sports team.

You know, fresh air, exercise, urine test.

Let me see this.

All right, hey, how 'bout softball?

I can't hit.

How 'bout soccer? I can't kick.

Basketball?

You'd get stepped on. I'd get stepped on.

Tony, he needs to go out for something

he's going to be good at.

How 'bout chess?

There's a lot of exercise in chess,

I mean, you could tap your finger '

til the other guy makes his move.

At least you never heard of a serious chess accident.

[GROANS] That's because you've never seen chess played in Brooklyn.

See, this one time-- I remember this guy, Morty Gunther, right?

He's sittin' on a stoop, very intense chess game, right?

Just then a garbage truck goes out of control,

hits a fire hydrant, the fire pump shoots water

across the street. Hits Morty right in the face.

Almost drowns him, and you say chess isn't dangerous. Hah!

How 'bout gymnastics?

Gymnastics! That's a good one.

You know, I seen you do a pretty good roll the other day.

I know you tipped over Grover, but you landed on your feet.

Huh? Almost. Heh-heh-heh.

Tony, he's not cut out for that kind of thing.

Angela, what do know about gymnastics?

Well, I know it's usually not done with a dog.

Aw, that's because

you've never seen gymnastics

played in Brooklyn.

I remember this one time, Sister Maria Pacifica, right?

Her habit and a Saint Bernard. It was like--

Tony, may I speak to you in the kitchen, please?

Jonathan, this is a great story. I'll finish it when I get back.

What, what?

I don't think you should be encouraging Jonathan

to take up gymnastics. Aw, Angela,

let me tell you something. Is this about Brooklyn?

No, it's not about Brooklyn.

But just about this time little boys start falling

into two distinct categories.

On your one hand, you got your well-rounded, athletic kids.

And on the other hand? There's Jonathan.

What is that supposed to mean?

Don't get me wrong. He's a great kid.

He's a great kid. It's just that he's sort of...

Well, he's kinda...

Angela, he does extra credit reports without being asked.

He's, he's a self-starter.

He collects stamps. He has an eye for detail.

He runs on his tiptoes. So do I.

It's too late for you.

But there's still hope for Jonathan.

What are you trying to say?

Angela, please, sit down here. Have a seat.

Now, look...

I didn't wanna have to be the one to tell you this,

but are you familiar with the term, "wimp"?

My son is not a wimp.

Hm, the mother's always the last to know.

Why is it, because a boy is well behaved,

intellectual, and a little uncoordinated,

people call him a wimp?

'Cause that's what wimp means.

Well, I refuse to accept that kind of stereotyping.

By that standard one could say that Einstein was a wimp.

Ah, did you ever see him run, Angela?

I'm only kidding.

It's not that the kid can't win a Nobel Prize,

but sports would be good for him.

Well, what if it's not?

I mean, what if he can't do it?

What if the other boys laugh at him? Oh...

What if he gets athlete's foot?

Angela, that's all part of growing up.

Give him a chance. Hey, look,

he might surprise you. You know, after all,

he does have one of the best personal trainers in the field.

Who?

Me! What do you mean, who?

I'm gonna train him. This could be

a big turning point in Jonathan's life.

Do you realize, with hard work and dedication,

your son could turn into...a jock.

All right, c'mon. Four...

That's good, that's good, that's good.

Five... Ooh, great!

I think I can do one more.

All right, all right.

TONY: Wow, terrific! [JONATHAN GRUNTS]

All right, get out of here.

Whew! What a workout. What's next?

Okay, I think we should take a little break, here.

No, I wanna do chin-ups.

Oh, okay, chin-ups. Here you go.

One...two...

Three, four, five. I hate to see a kid suffer.

Knock, knock, knock.

Lady in the locker room.

Hey, Mom.

What are you doing here?

This is a guy place.

Well, I came to see how my guy was doing.

Well, let me just tell you about your guy.

He's making some big strides. He's making some little strides,

but he's making a lot of them. [LAUGHS]

Go ahead, show your mother what I taught you.

[HOCKS A LOOGIE] TONY: No, no, no!

Not that. I meant the rings.

Uh, stand back.

TONY: Alley oop!

All right.

Okay, remember now,

keep your balance and your concentration.

Hold on to your shorts.

Oh, my God. He's upside down.

He's supposed to be.

Well, then he's doing great.

Yeah, and now... the grand finale--

A feat never before performed without a big net

or a big insurance policy.

--the flyaway dismount.

Oh! Oh! Yup! Hey!

Oh, sweetheart!

Oh, oh, you were...

...you were wonderful.

I am so proud of you.

Yeah. Hey, Jonathan, looked pretty good.

Pretty good? He was perfect.

He was perfect. He's gonna be the best gymnast on the team.

We're gonna trash those twerps on Saturday.

That's locker room talk.

You wanna hear some more Tony taught me?

Ah... Hah! No, that's enough.

Did, uh, did you say Saturday?

Yeah, yeah, that's when we're taking on the Wilton Warriors.

[BOTH GRUNT]

[GIGGLING] Oh, dear...

I have to be in Hartford on Saturday.

It's our first meet.

Well, you know that I'd change the meeting if I could,

but now that I'm on my own, I just have to work

twice as hard to beat the bigger agencies.

You understand, don't you, honey? No.

I understand, Mom. Go get 'em.

You too, sweetheart.

You know what?

Even though I'm not gonna be there,

you're gonna make me so proud.

I know that Jonathan Bower's gonna be the best gymnast there,

right? Right!

Oh! Ooh!

Goodness, you're all sweaty.

Yeah, and he smells too.

Aah!

I can't believe that I have to spend Saturday afternoon

watching elementary school kids stand on their heads.

Dad, it's so uncool. [SIGHS]

What if someone sees me?

Oh, nobody will be watching you.

They're all gonna be looking at me.

[LAUGHS]

You're not gonna be doing something

really embarrassin, are you?

Of course not. Just this...

MONA: Yay!

[IN UNISON] Twist and twirl, flip and run,

show those twerps we're number one!

Go, Muskrats!

Maybe if I wore a ski mask

and left the country. Aw, c'mon!

What? Are you kidding me?

This is gonna be great. All right, you got the pom poms.

Yeah. I got the Gatorade and the equipment bag.

We got everything. Let's go.

C'mon. Okay.

[IN UNISON] Jonathan!

Are you guys ready to go yet? Yeah...

Hey, you're looking pretty good there, champ.

My headband's kinda tight.

Oh, well, that's because it's a wrist band.

A coach's work is never done. Heh, heh. C'mon.

Tony? Yeah.

Do you think I'll do okay?

You're gonna do great, are you kidding me?

[IN UNISON] You're gonna twist and twirl, flip and run,

show those twerps we're number one!

Go, Muskrats! Yay!

MONA: Hit the car!

Okay, you're doing great, just turn a little sideways.

No, not that far.

All right, come on in, straight, straight.

Up... Here we go.

Here, okay, watch your step, now.

All right, okay, I got you.

Okay... Aah!

No, no, no!

Well, does it hurt, honey?

Only when I bump into things.

[THUDS] Oof!

I see what you mean.

Oh!

This is the worst.

What if my arm stays like this?

Oh, c'mon, Jonathan.

Your shoulder' gonna be good as new.

Hey, take a look at this nose.

I broke this nose two times and I could still smell.

Yeah, when I was a kid I broke my finger--

I could still dial.

I once fractured my pelvis.

And she can still dance.

That's right. All night long.

[TONY GROANS]

Jonathan, would you like some ice cream?

Well, how 'bout, how 'bout a piece of cake?

Candy?

Cash?

Did they check for head injuries?

I really messed up.

You didn't mess up, but why would you do that hard dismount

that you'd never tried before?

Well, I was behind in points.

There was no other way I could win.

You did a great flip and a half.

You just landed on the wrong half.

Yeah, you'd have come out just fine

if you'd started on your head.

Yeah! And look at the bright side.

You're all set if you wanna make a right hand turn.

[GROANING, LAUGHING]

See? Things could be a lot worse than they are.

Oh, God, yeah. Yeah, sure.

ANGELA: I'm home. [FRONT DOOR CLOSES]

Like now.

[GASPS] Hi, Angela.

Heh, heh.

How'd it go? Terrible.

I didn't get the account.

Aw, are you kidding me?

You sent them dozens of letter, you called them every day,

you drove all the way up there on a Saturday,

you hounded them for weeks. What happened?

They said I was too pushy.

Go figure. Yeah.

Well, I guess you win some, you lose some.

Oh, how was the meet?

Well, you win some, you lose some.

Oh, Jonathan lost.

Poor thing.

Yeah, well, that's kinda the good news.

Well, he's all right, isn't he?

Oh, yeah, he's fine. Nothing to worry about...

now.

Huh? Where is he? Well, he's in the kitchen,

but please let me explain so that you don't go in and--

[ANGELA SCREAMS]

--do that.

My poor baby. What happened?

What is this?

It's a piñata, Angela.

See, Angela, he broke his shoulder,

but the doctor said he's gonna be fine

and out of his cast in six weeks.

Six weeks? Six weeks--

Do you know how long six weeks is to a child?

Forty two days.

See, Angela? After all he's been through

he still remembers his multiplication tables.

Sweetheart, I want you to tell me all the details.

Angela, I'm not so sure you wanna hear this.

I know I don't.

The experts say that you should not keep a traumatic experience

locked inside of you. Now, you tell Mommy all the details.

Okay.

Well, I was doing this really hard dismount

and I smashed into the mat real hard

and I heard my bones crack real loud.

It's like when you put the chicken bones in the disposal...

[IMITATES CRUNCHING NOISES]

I-I see.

Well, the next thing I know I'm on this metal table

and the doctor's sticking this long skinny needle

all the way into me.

Mm-huh...

And then I wake up

and I look over and I see the doctors

working on this guy who must've been run over

by a steamroller

and there's all this gooey and gushy stuff.

I think it was supposed to be on the inside,

but it was on the outside.

Mom?

Yes, dear.

What do you think the gooey stuff was?

[SAMANTHA GROANS]

See that? The experts say, you're not supposed to keep

your lunch locked up inside. Heh, heh!

Darling, it sounds like a horrible experience.

Yeah, and then there was this other guy--

Oh, why don't I take you upstairs

so you can lie down?

I don't wanna lie down.

Well, I do.

Sweetheart, you go upstairs with Grandma, I'll be up in a minute.

The doctor took care of you. You're gonna be just fine.

Is there anything you need?

A bigger watch band.

Follow that arm.

Well, all's well that ends well--

Don't you even speak to me.

You broke my child.

Oh, Angela, I know, I know it's all my fault.

You were supposed to look after him.

I know, I know. I let him down...

real hard.

But look, I broke him, I'll fix him.

I know exactly what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna drive him to the doctor and take him to school.

I'm gonna carry his books, and do his homework.

I'll even feed his lizards.

Not that big green one, though. He's got a bad attitude. Ew!

You think that's gonna make up for it?

All right, I'll feed the green one too.

[SIGHS]

If you want me I'll be out in the garage

looking for bugs.

Mother, Mother what are you doing with the plant stand?

I had to have something to prop up the kid's arm.

My poor baby. Well, at least he's got something

to hang his clothes on now.

You know, I may just never forgive Tony for this.

Tony? Why, what did he do?

He talked me into letting Jonathan do this.

He pushed him beyond his limits.

He never should've let him compete if he wasn't ready.

He was ready. He just tried too hard.

Well, then he was just too competitive.

Doing those flip things and those half watchamabobs.

And we all know who's fault that was.

Yeah, yours.

Mine? I wasn't even there.

No, you were off in Hartford

trying to beat out the competitors,

trying to be the world's best advertisingmabob.

What is that supposed to mean?

Angela, who do you think that Jonathan looks up to?

You.

Really?

Yeah, astounding, isn't it?

Look, Angela,

he sees that you always have to be the best.

So he feels that he's always got to be the best...

...so you'll be proud of him.

Mother,

I would be proud of him no matter what he did.

Well, don't tell me...

...tell him.

She already did.

Sweetheart?

Come here.

[THUDDING] Oh, God.

Oh!

Jonathan...

you know...

sometimes...

we both push too hard.

And that's not good for either one of us.

You don't always have to be the best...

...just happy,

and in one piece.

You understand what I'm saying?

Yeah, but I wish you would've told me yesterday.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

Gotcha! Oh, oh...

Oh, hey...

Aw, hey, I'm really sorry about that leg,

but you're not gonna need it where you're going.

Hi.

What are you doing?

I'm looking for Mr. Goodbug.

I tucked Jonathan in.

Well, most of him.

How's he doing?

Oh, he's, uh, he's fine.

I want to apologize.

It's not your fault that Jonathan got hurt.

My son is driven because I'm driven and...

...well, it's very clear to me now.

Had a talk with Mona, huh? Yeah.

And from now on, I'm not gonna be perfect,

and I'm not gonna expect everybody around me

to be perfect. Wow, wow, yes,

so that means I can burn dinner?

Absolutely.

So then it's okay for me to scratch the Jag?

Okay. [LAUGHS]

And it's okay if I let one of these spiders out

and he's crawling up your leg? Aah!

Just checking. I got 'em all.

You know...? [CHUCKLES]

I always wondered what it would be like to go for the gold.

Oh, yeah?

Well, why don't you hop up there and see?

Oh, no!

Tony!

I couldn't. I'm not dressed for it.

I mean, besides, you need a net or something, don't you?

Heh-heh-heh! You don't need a net or something.

C'mon, you'll be fine. No, I...

Come on, you wanna...

[BOTH LAUGH]

C'mon, c'mon, take off your shoes.

C'mon. Well...

All right, grab onto those rings. All right.

Okay, now remember, just concentrate

when you're up there, okay? Ready?

Alley oop!

Okay, all right. Uh-huh.

Now, now, you got it? Uh-huh.

You fine? Uh-huh.

Okay, I'm tired, I'm going to bed.

Tony!

Tony! Tony, you come back!

One more thing... Tony! Tony, no! Oh!

[♪♪]