Original subtitles

♪ There is more to life than what you're living

♪ So take a chance and face the wind

♪ An open road and a road that's hidden

♪ Brand new life around the bend

♪ There were times I lost a dream or two

♪ Found the trail and at the end was you

♪ There's a path you take and a path not taken

♪ The choice is up to you my friend

♪ Nights are long but you might awaken

♪ To a brand new life

♪ Brand new life

♪ Brand new life around the bend ♪

Aw, you're kidding me.

Oh, no.

Philly Fingers' wife just threw him out of the house.

Why?

Ah, he got home late last night from a party.

Oh, well, that doesn't seem fair.

Well, it was a New Year's Eve party.

1984.

How about Joey?

Oh, how about Joey?

Aw, his wife just had a baby.

-Pee Wee? -How about Pee Wee?

He just had his rugs cleaned.

I didn't even know he had rugs.

Did I miss something?

Yeah, Dad's monthly poker game is off for Saturday night.

They've got nowhere to play.

I have a wonderful idea.

Oh, so what are we going to do then, now, come on.

Hello, hello, Mr. Fingers?

Yes, yes, it's Angela Bower.

How would you and your friends like to play at my house Saturday night?

Poker.

Oh, well, let's say 8:00-ish, and don't feel you have to bring anything.

Bye, bye.

Angela, that's very nice of you, Angela, it really is,

but, you know, these guys, they're a little, I don't know,

rough around the edges, you know.

-They're disgusting. -Thank you.

Come on, Tony, I'm really looking forward to meeting your friends.

Oh, you know...

All right, hey, look, I guess we could play poker in Connecticut, huh?

I better tell Pee-Wee to dress.

Oh, no, Tony, let's keep it informal.

No, Pee-Wee likes to play in his underwear.

A shirt would be nice.

You haven't seen his shirts.

Neither has the laundry. Get out.

Oh, a letter from my very best friend from graduate school.

I haven't seen her in years.

She coming for a visit, Angela?

Yes, she'll be here for dinner Saturday night.

That's my poker night.

Oh, what are you gonna do?

What am I gonna do?

Yeah, well, they're your friends.

Angela, you invited them.

Oh, I know, and I would love to meet them but just not with Emily.

She's so reserved and conservative.

She's not at all the free spirit that I am.

Oh, yeah, you and Madonna.

I guess I'll just have to call off my game.

You think your friends will understand?

What friends?

-Oh, Tony, I feel terrible. -It's okay.

No, let me see, let me see if I can switch it.

Oh, I know, I'll have her over for Sunday brunch.

Oh, that's a good idea.

You know, Emily, she sounds more like a brunch person,

whereas my guys, they're like, you know, Saturday night animals.

Hey, your homeowner's policy paid up?

They're here.

Hey, Joey.

What do you say, buddy?

Hey, what's happening?

Hey, Tone.

-Aloha. -Absolutely.

-Hey, hey, how's your rugs? -Wet.

-How's your baby? -Wet.

-Hey, how's your wife? -Don't ask.

Where's Eddie?

Well, we didn't want to come empty-handed,

so we picked up a couple of beers.

Hey, Tony.

Eddie, isn't that heavy?

No, it's light beer.

Hey, you got a match?

-Yeah, your face and my... -Angela.

Hi, guys.

Oh, you must be Pee-Wee.

What makes you say that?

Hey, and this is Joey Rossini.

Oh, yes, of course, hello again.

This is Mr. Philly Fingers.

Mr. Fingers.

That's right, and this is Eddie Carpucci,

-World Class Exterminator.

Exterminator? You do mean bugs?

Guys, guys, this is my boss, Angela Bower.

Tough job, Tony.

Got any openings for me?

Uh, no, but next time I'm planning a luau, I'll keep you in mind.

Oh!

My shirt.

Oh, this is wonderful.

I'm so delighted

that we could all be together tonight and hang out.

Come on, guys. Sit down here. Hey, you're looking good.

Hey, Pee-Wee, did you grow?

Ah.

I see all the guests have arrived.

I thought I smelled men.

Put your hand down.

-Oh, Mona, you look terrific. -Oh, Mother.

You are just going to be the belle of the Policeman's Ball.

You like it? It was on sale at Bergdorf's. It was a steal.

Oh, next time, talk to me. I mean, I could steal it for you wholesale.

Thank you. Sure thing.

Hey, you got a back door?

Relax, it's just my date.

BOB: Mona Robinson, this is Officer Bob.

I know you're in there.

Aw, he's so impatient.

Hey, who wants a beer?

I'll have one. Hey, Pee-Wee.

Gather around, sports fans.

All right, guys, come on, everybody, let's sit down and play some poker, huh?

Angela, what are you doing?

Playing poker.

You can't play poker. You don't know how to play poker.

Surprise, surprise. I've been studying for two days.

-You got cash? -This enough?

Let her play.

Angela, Angela, this is for real.

These guys win your money, they don't give it back.

Well, then, I'll just have to win, won't I?

One for you,

one for you, one for you,

one for you, one for you and one for me.

-Another one... -Would you just deal the cards?

It's, uh, all right with you guys

if I look at my list of what beats what, yes?

You can look at whatever you want.

Oh, thanks.

-Thank you.

Okay, I'll, uh, I'll open for a Washington, here.

I'll see that.

-I'm in. -Me, too.

Uh, I see that and let's go up one more.

-Uh, that's two dollars? -Yeah.

Oh, why not. And, uh...

Another one for good luck.

All right, all right, all right, all right, it's your money.

-I mean, uh... -Excuse me.

Uh, I don't have this on my list. What beats a royal flush?

-Oh, no.

Well, then, I'll just have to get one of those.

-Hey, hey, oh... -She bluffed us.

Not bad, Angela, not bad.

For a beginner.

Thank you, Tony.

Welcome to Connecticut, boys.

ANGELA: Oh, oh.

-Hey, Pee-Wee, stop hogging the beef jerky.

Thanks.

Hey, Pee-Wee, what is with you?

-Hey, you do stuff like that at home? -Yeah.

Loosen up, Tony.

Since he's moved to Connecticut he's gotten so uptight.

Are we gonna jaw all night or we gonna play poker?

I think I'm going to take your money and I'm going to get a little shut-eye.

Really, I have a very important brunch tomorrow.

Oh, yeah, I know how that can be.

Good night, you guys. Thanks a lot.

Goodnight, Angela, you're terrific.

Thanks.

Hey, uh, excuse me a second, guys.

-Angela. -Yo.

-TONY: Yo.

Um, you want me to throw these guys out?

You know, these games can go kind of late.

No, no.

I'm a sound sleeper. You guys enjoy yourselves.

-Thanks, Angela. -Yeah.

-Hey, Angela -Yeah?

You were really terrific tonight.

Yeah, I was, wasn't I?

They're a great bunch of guys.

You like them?

Yeah, I do.

I think they liked me, too.

Oh, are you kidding me? They loved you.

I mean, what's not to love?

I mean...

-Hey, Tony. -Yeah?

Are you in or what?

I'm in, I'm in. I'll be right there. Get in there.

I think I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go play cards.

-Okay. -Goodnight.

Goodnight.

Oh, all right guys, let's play cards, I'm feeling hot.

-I noticed.

Oh, oh.

Oh, you look wonderful.

Everything's gonna be just perfect for Emily.

-Hi, Ange.

-You in?

I'm glad I didn't do this.

-What are you doing up so early? -Early?

Early. Emily will be here any minute.

You're kidding me. Oh, I'm sorry. I lost all track of time here.

Dad, didn't you even notice the sunrise?

No. Was it nice?

Listen, don't worry about it, Angela.

The game's over and the guys are out of here.

-Go out, out, you out, come on.

Wait, where's my quiche? Where's my cucumber sandwiches?

-Well, I don't know. -I don't know.

I kinda got the munchies.

Come on, guys, let's go, let's go, let's go.

Angela, thanks for the hospitality.

Hey, Eddie, you coming?

No, I'm going to stick around and help Tony clean up.

You got a hose?

I got it, I got it, I got it.

Angela, Angela, Angela, look.

Look, me and Eddie'll have this place cleaned up spotless before she even shows up.

Eddie cannot stay here.

Why not? Eddie's my friend.

I know that, and he's a very lovely man.

And the next time we have a termite problem,

he's got the job, I promise.

But he and Emily come from two very different worlds.

And I don't think it's a good idea if those worlds collide.

Well, thank you, Carl Sagan.

Oh, come on, Angela. He won't embarrass you and anyway,

he'll be long gone before she shows up, okay.

Or I could be wrong.

It's her. It's her.

-Emily. -Angela.

-Oh, hi, come in. -Thank you.

Oh, this place is perfect.

It's so quaint, so charming.

Oh, it's wonderful.

Whoa. Who's the fox with the great maracas?

Emily, this is my housekeeper, Tony Micelli.

Hi, Emily, so nice to meet you.

And this is my good friend, Eddie Carpucci.

Who will be leaving shortly.

Nice to meet you.

That's quite a grip you have there.

Oh, that's from pumping spray cans.

I'm an exterminator, licensed.

Well, uh, Eddie, you don't wanna hurt the girl.

Eddie.

Let her go, Eddie, let her go.

So, uh, Emily, uh, what do you do to earn a buck?

Well, I perform studies on organizational productivity at Stanford.

Oh, I love a woman with big brains.

Well, isn't that nice.

-Do something. -Eddie, heel.

Tony, could I see you in the kitchen a minute, please?

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Hey, would you excuse us? Talk among yourselves.

I told you. I told you. I told you.

I know, I know, I know. You were right.

Emily's really uptight. Ugh.

Emily? I'm talking about Eddie.

You know, your friend who evaluates people's maracas?

To some people, that's a compliment.

You leave my mother out of this.

Your friend is ruining my brunch.

All right, all right, all right, I'll take him to the station.

It's obvious that oil and vinegar just don't mix.

Oh, my God. What are they doing?

I'm glad.

I am thrilled that you find this so amusing.

Uh, Tony, I think it's time we got back to our guests.

Good idea, Angela.

Emily, you never will guess who I saw the other day.

Well, I won't keep you in suspense.

It was Sarah Connors and she looks horrible.

What was that, Angela?

Uh, hey, Eddie, what do you say,

you don't wanna do anything you might regret like miss that train.

Let's hit the road, pal.

Please don't leave on my account.

Well, you know, he's gotta...

Angela, do you have any hand cream? My skin is so dry.

Uh, in my purse.

Oh, the kind with extra emollients

and deep penetrating moisturizers?

I don't think so.

Oh, it's the only kind I use.

Gee, is there a drug store around here?

Sure there is. I'll give you a lift.

Tony, can I borrow your van?

Well, wait, hey, Eddie, wait a second, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Her skin has always been very dry.

♪ Oh, what love got to do

♪ Got to do with it

♪ What's love

♪ But a second-hand emotion

Good morning, all.

Good morning, Mona. You're looking very chipper.

-How was the Policeman's Ball? -Oh, it was wonderful.

I could've danced all night.

But I didn't.

Where's Emily?

Uh, Eddie took her to the drug store in my van.

Oh, they must be back by now. Your van's parked out front.

Thanks, Moe and Larry.

I don't see them.

That's because the windows are all steamed up.

What are they doing?

Angela, we had that talk before you married Michael.

I knew you weren't listening.

Oh, here they come, here they come.

Sorry, we took so long.

What can I say?

Eddie, Eddie.

Can I talk to you in the kitchen, please? I think we got bugs.

Yeah, sure.

If they know how to crawl, I know how to kill them.

Would you believe, we had to drive to New Haven to find the hand cream?

No.

Hartford?

What do you think you're doing?

I'm looking for bugs. You said you had bugs.

I'll give you bugs, Eddie.

I can't believe you and Angela's best friend, you know.

I know. I know.

I couldn't help myself, Angela.

Look, when he started to nibble on my...

Please.

Spare me the details.

Eddie's so refreshing.

He's rough around the edges, strong but sweet.

Uncomplicated. Do you know what I mean?

Nibbled on your what?

You're not making this up, are you, Eddie?

No.

Gee, I mean, hey, she don't seem the type, you know.

It's true, Tony.

You wouldn't believe what they teach them in graduate school.

Of course not.

Tony and I don't...

Have a relationship like that.

I guess, opposites do attract.

That's what they say.

Who would have thought, I mean, Emily is so...

Classy.

And Eddie's so...

Physical.

Hey pal, uh, it's about time to catch that train.

Wanna give me a lift to the station?

You're leaving now?

Yeah, I gotta get back.

It was really nice meeting you, Emily.

You give me a call next time you're in town

or if you ever have any bug questions.

Oh, well, thank you, Eddie.

And listen, you do the same if you, uh,

ever do any work at Stanford.

Right.

Thanks for the hospitality, Angela.

You too, Emily.

I don't get it.

Why the quick getaway? I mean, aren't you gonna see her again?

What's the point, Tony?

What am I gonna do, take her to Marty's Melody Room

and teach her how to shoot pool?

She might like pool.

Okay, and then what?

Is she gonna marry me and live in Brooklyn?

It ain't natural, Tony.

Emily, that's it?

You're not going to see him again?

Well, no, Angela.

Not unless he shows up at the next faculty tea.

You didn't even try.

Oh, well, it might be fun for a while.

It might be a lot of fun.

But, eventually, a man like this

would suffocate in my world.

I'm famished.

What do you have to eat around here?

Nothing.

Oh, why don't we go to the Country Club for brunch?

Okay, uh, give me a moment to freshen up.

-Yeah, right around the corner. -Okay.

I forgot my keys.

How's Emily?

Hungry. How's Eddie?

Can't seem to get back to Brooklyn fast enough.

I'm gonna drive him.

Well, I'll be at the club.

Yeah, well, I figure while I'm in Brooklyn, I'm gonna shoot some pool.

Okay.

-Hey, Angela? -Yeah?

You don't shoot pool, do you?

No.

I didn't think so.

What the hell.

TONY: Who's the Boss? will be back in a moment. Stick around.

All right.

I see you and raise you

six cents. Ha!

Ooh, six cents.

Jonathan, can I borrow a nickel?

Okay, Grandma, but you're already four bucks in the hole.

Who asked you?

I think I wanna raise it.

Sweetheart, do you want to do that? That's your whole piggy bank.

Isn't four aces pretty good?

-I fold. -I fold.

I fold.

Hold it.

No way, pal. I fell for this with your mother.

I wanna see it. Here we are. I call.

Read them and weep, baby.

A full house.

Right.

Four aces.

I told you.

-All right. Credit cards. -Oh, wait a minute.