Original subtitles

♪ There's more to life than what you're livin'

♪ You take a chance and face the wind

♪ An open road and a road that's hidden

♪ A brand new life around the bend

♪ There were times when I lost a dream or two

♪ Found the trail, and at the end was you

♪ There's a path you take and a path not taken

♪ The choice is up to you my friend

♪ Nights are long but you're on your way

♪ To a brand new life

♪ Brand new life

♪ Brand new life around the bend ♪

All right, all right, come on,

wait one second, now, just let me get set up.

Wait.

Sam, all I gotta do is get this thing running again.

You read the instructions. Come on.

Dad, they're in Japanese.

-Japanese. -Yeah.

I got it. Hold this. Hai-yah!

Tape is rolling! Let's go!

-Little higher, little higher, babe. Okay. -Okay.

"Mona coming into her graduation party." Take one.

And... Action!

-Hi! -Cut. Cut.

Angela, what are you doing here? Where's the graduate?

We're freezing out here.

Would you let me make my movie?

Okay.

"Mona coming into her graduation party." Take two.

Good, go, go, go...

And... Action!

Yay!

Ya-hoo!

No more pencils. No more books.

No more teachers' dirty looks.

Yay!

-And... -ALL: Oh!

It does not seem possible.

My mother graduating from college.

They grow up so fast.

ALL: Speech!

Okay, all right, here?

-Okay, here? -That's good.

Well...

This has got to be the most exciting moment since...

Well, Tuesday night wasn't bad, either.

Mona, I'm taping a family show here.

Well, then just shoot me from the neck up.

All right.

I have to admit that it was pretty scary

going back to college after all these years.

But I do wanna give thanks to one person

for helping me, and guiding me and giving me support.

Oh, Mother...

Doctor Jack Emerson.

Well, I'll support anyone for free champagne.

All right, Jack, hey!

And no matter how many times

my chemistry experiments blew up,

you always encouraged me.

-Mmm-hmm, from a distance.

Hey, that's great, that's great.

Now how 'bout a word from the graduate's daughter?

Oh, no, no, I couldn't.

-Okay. -Maybe just one word.

-Okay, let's do it right here. -Okay.

And...

"Commencement.

So, Mona,

now that you have your degree in psychology, what are your plans?

Well, I have the same burning ambition

as any other honors graduate.

Get a Masters Degree?

Bum around Europe and try to find myself.

That's good. That's very good, yes, yes.

Sam, keep up, Sam. Keep up, come on.

Well, before you buy a travel iron,

I have something I'd like you to think about.

What? Plastics?

No, no, no, no, no, politics.

Hmm?

Apply for a job as a personnel counselor

at the Hadley Shoe Company.

Wait a minute, I mean,

what happened to bumming around Europe

and trying to find myself?

In a villa, on the Mediterranean

with a cute little count.

Don't worry, you won't get the job.

Well, that's a relief.

Wait a minute, what do you mean?

What are you saying? Why wouldn't I get the job?

-What's wrong with me? -Oh, nothing.

But, you see, they won't hire you because you're over fif...

-Over fort... -Overqualified?

-Uh, well, uh, over 22. -Oh.

You old flatterer.

Look, Mona, I'm a Chairman of a commission

against age discrimination.

And we'd like you to get the goods

on those creeps at Hadley's

and then we'll file a class action suit.

Well, I got class and I love action.

So I'll do it.

Ah, terrific.

Oh, and Mona. Not a word of this.

This whole mission depends on absolute secrecy.

Just call me Mona Hari.

-Oh, yes. Yes, oh, that's great. -This?

-Very natural. Whoo. -Oh.

Yes, major league, major league.

Dad, we ran out of tape five minutes ago.

Shh. Hmm.

Uh, Angela.

You couldn't have given a better party

if you were Italian.

Grazie.

I'm sorry, I goofed up the disposal.

-I was just trying to help. -Oh, don't worry about it.

The disposal's gonna be fine.

Just one thing you gotta remember about it.

It's on the other side of the s ink.

Oh, right.

Angela, the party was wonderful.

But you know, you've got enough brie left over

-to pave the driveway. - See?

I told you that imported stuff wasn't gonna move.

But my sausage and peppers... Right out the door.

-Sure, you ate them all. -Ha!

Hey, Mona, so did Doc Emerson finally leave?

Hmm?

Yeah, you two were as thick as thieves.

Yeah, I noticed that, too, Mona.

Really? I didn't think you took your viewfinder

off Betty Coed all night.

Carla Coed to you.

Whatever.

So, Mother, what were you and Doc Emerson huddled about?

Oh, you know... We talked about stuff.

You know, this and that.

Mother, don't hold out on us.

You know, Tony has ways of making you talk.

Yeah, Mona, don't make me use the fudge brownies.

Well, I guess it doesn't hurt to tell you.

I've got an interview for a job.

Hey, great!

-You're getting a job? -Mmm-hmm, yes, why not?

Oh, no reason.

I just... It's wonderful. Well, what is it?

Hey, yeah, knowing you, it's got to be

something terrific, huh, something really exciting.

I'd be working in a shoe factory.

Hey...

Hey, shoes are good. Shoes are good.

What, are you kidding me, they're a big part

-of American walking. -Mmm-hmm.

Yeah, I would be the personnel counselor

for the Hadley Shoe Factory.

Hadley Shoes? We did an ad campaign for them.

Well, don't worry, Mona.

They won't hold that against you.

Believe me, Tony, I'm not the least bit worried

-about getting this job. -All right.

Mother, a lot of other

new college graduates are going to be applying.

Yeah, but when Mona walks in there,

that company won't know what hit 'em.

What, are you kidding?

Tony, you don't know how true that is.

Well, if you will excuse me, now it is party time.

Angela, may I have the keys to the Jaguar?

Oh, all right, but just be careful,

-it's a very expensive car. -Oh, don't worry, darling.

My date has had his license for at least five years.

Hey, have a good time, Mone.

She is a card, boy.

I'm really worried about her.

Why? She'll be okay.

As long as she don't take him across the state-line.

I just think, she's getting so excited about something that may not happen.

Hey, I've seen this guy, I think it's gonna happen.

No, I don't mean the date, I mean the job.

You really think it's going to happen?

Why shouldn't it? She's a straight-A student.

Not the job, the date.

Angela, would you forget the date?

Why shouldn't she get the job?

She's got a dynamic personality.

-She's energetic. -And she's a grandmother.

Yeah, so?

So she's competing with a bunch of kids

for an entry level position.

Oh, and her entry level may be too close-to the exit level.

And if I know Sid Hadley, she can forget it.

Wait a minute,

I got a great idea, as per usual.

Uh, how well do you know this Sid guy?

-No, I'm not calling him. -Oh, come on, Angela.

You said it yourself, your mother's walking in there

with the deck stacked against her.

Let's slip her some aces.

You know that Mother hates when I interfere.

Interfering is the glue

that keeps American families together.

Tony, forget it. The answer is no.

WOMAN: Mr. Hadley, Angela Bower on eight-five.

Oh, Angela.

Hey, Angel.

How's the old ad game, huh?

Me? Well, you know what I always say...

Right, Sid, "There's no business like shoe business."

Ew. What a stiff.

Look, Sid, the reason I'm calling is

you have an interview with a Mona Robinson.

Really? She's outside his office right now.

Well, don't let her know that I called,

but I'd like her to have a really fair shot

at this job.

And Sid, I mean, a really fair shot.

Gotcha, Angela.

You don't have to hit me in the head

with a pair of wing tips, huh?

Her school transcript's right here.

It looks great, Dean's List,

Editor of the Yearbook, hmm,

I'd say the only thing standing

between Mona Robinson and this job

is my unemployed brother-in-law.

Uh, Sid, I'm sorry,

I just don't have an opening right now.

-Angela. -Uh, other than the mailroom.

Perfect, he's fabulous with stamps.

Angela, let's lace this thing up.

You have a spot for Howie, I have a spot for Mona.

Isn't that terrific?

Terrific. Thanks, Sidney.

This is terrific!

All right, Angela.

Did I tell you or did I tell you? You've got clout.

I have, haven't I?

Shirley, send in the lovely and qualified Mona Robinson.

SHIRLEY: Uh, Mr. Hadley, about Mona Robinson...

Well, she's here, isn't she?

-SHIRLEY: Yes, but... -Send her in.

You're Mona Robinson?

That's right, sonny.

Are you all right?

Just bunching up phlegm.

Okay, sonny, let's get on with the interview.

Well, Mrs. Robinson...

Mrs. Robinson.

-Mrs. Robinson. -Oh, yes, sorry, sorry.

Those short naps help.

Well, I've been looking at your transcripts here

and, uh, they're pretty good.

They're damn good.

Had to walk halfway across the campus

to get to some of those classes.

That's very commendable.

I see here that you took two semesters of Modern Dance?

Yeah, I did.

You wanna see a couple of steps here?

No, that's quite all right.

There's not much call for that around here.

Okay, Sonny, let's cut the small talk, huh.

I got the grades, I got the grit

and I got the gumption.

-You got medical? -Yes, we do.

-You got dental? -The best.

-Retirement? -And a pension fund.

What more do you want?

Maternity leave?

Oh, look, here comes Grandma's car!

Okay, Dad, ready?

Yeah, I'm ready, all ready, little higher, babe.

-Okay. -Right there.

Mona's new career. Take one.

And... Action!

And...

Where was your interview, a Turkish prison?

I don't wanna talk about it.

What happened? Hadley turned you down?

No, I report on Monday.

You got the job! Hey, Mona, that's really...

-Terrible?

I wasn't supposed to get it.

See, it was a set-up, a sting.

It was an undercover caper to fight age discrimination

and I blew it.

-Uh-oh!

I don't even know how the guy

could have given me the stupid job.

I tried everything but the death rattle.

Huh.

Some snitch tipped him off.

I wonder who that could have been.

Mother, why didn't you tell me what you were up to?

-Why? -Well, because...

Because it's very interesting.

You know, we have never had a spy in the family before.

Unless, of course, you count Uncle Ernie,

but then he was more of a Peeping Tom.

What's a Peeping Tom?

Uh, I'll tell you when you're older, Jonathan.

You always say that.

That's because I'm always older.

Isn't that great?

Well, nobody double-crosses this gal.

When I find out the fink who ratted on me,

I am going to staple his lips together.

If you'll excuse me now,

my support hose are killing me.

Rat fink stoolies.

Boy, you're gonna have to stop

meddling in your mother's affairs.

Me? Me? You...

"Help your mother, call Hadley...

"Meddling is the glue

"that keeps the American family together."

Excuse me, I said interfering was the glue.

Meddling is always a bad mistake.

Oh, thank you, thank you for clearing that up.

All right, Angela, I know it was me.

I'll have to bite the bullet and go tell Mona the truth.

No, it's all right, she's my mother.

I made the call, I will do it.

Okay.

Oh, hello, dear, come on in, come on.

Thanks.

My, my, my, Mother, you get younger every time I see you.

Well, I feel wonderful and life is wonderful.

-Mother?

Your mood swings are beginning to concern me.

Twenty minutes ago, you stormed out of the living room

ready to tar and feather someone.

Well, that was 20 minutes ago, dear.

Stay with the game, Angela.

So you're not upset

about the tip off on your undercover operation?

Oh, don't be ridiculous, there was no tip off.

I just spoke to Doctor Emerson

and we figured out how I must've gotten the job.

-You did? -Yes.

I got it on my own.

-You did?

Well, see, it makes sense when you think about it.

I am trained for the job, my transcripts were wonderful

and well, I guess no matter how much I tried to hide it,

the real me just came shining through.

Well... When, when you've got it, you've got it.

Uh, dear, did you want to say something to me?

Congratulations. I knew you could do it.

Ah, thank you, thank you.

Is everything okay?

Everything is fine.

Thanks for asking. Let's go.

No, I can't let you take the rap for this one, Angela.

-I can't let you. -No, let me, Tony.

-Let me. -No, no way, no way.

-Mona? -MONA: Huh?

I gotta tell you, it was my idea.

I made her call Hadley.

You called Hadley?

I spoke to him very briefly,

I'm sure I didn't influence him one way or the other.

Are you kidding me?

She went all out for you, Mona.

This girl loves you. Loves you.

I'm telling you, Mona, she even hired

-his brother-in-law. -Oh, I get it.

So you traded one bozo brother-in-law

for one useless mother, huh?

No, Mother, it wasn't like that at all.

Mona, that's not what I meant.

No, but it's the truth.

I didn't get the job on my own,

I didn't come shining through.

My daughter had to pull strings.

Mother, I just wanted to help you get your foot in the door.

I didn't wanna see you get hurt.

You know, what hurts

is the fact that you didn't have any faith in me.

Oh, wait a minute, Mona.

If you can't help your mother,

what's the sense of being a big shot?

Yeah.

Oh, I see what you're trying to do,

but who am I kidding, huh?

I am a woman who was raised to be pretty,

and to throw parties and use the right fork.

I never had a job in my life, and...

I guess it's a little late to be starting now.

You never had a job in your life?

MONA: No.

The closest I ever came to working

was the kissing booth at the Methodist bazaar.

There you go.

From there, it's a hop, skip and a jump

to counseling workers at a shoe factory.

Mother, you did a lot more

than kiss a bunch of Methodists.

You went to college for four years

and you prepared for this. And...

Well, that's true.

SHIRLEY: Mona Robinson is here to see you.

Wheel her in.

Yes? May I help you?

I'm Mona Robinson.

Uh, not so fast, Mr. Hadley.

See, I've got a few ideas

I wanna bounce off of you, first.

Bounce away.

Are you sure you're Mona Robinson?

Take my word for it, hmm?

Now, Mr. Hadley, when I inspected your factory,

I found that there were three pregnant women working.

Now, you are going to lose valuable employees

unless you start a day-care center.

That's a good idea, but only two of them are preggie.

The other one just eats a lot.

Well, that's another thing.

See, you make a dandy running shoe,

so what about giving your employees some freebies

and a place to work out?

You know, that's a great idea.

Right, and with a fitness center,

you could help them clear their minds,

and firm up their bodies.

I like firm bodies.

So do I, Sidney. So do I.

We're gonna get along great.

If I take the job.

What do you mean, "If"?

Mona Robinson does not take a job

as part of a pay-off, hmmm?

You know that deal you struck with Angela Bower?

Well, Angela is my daughter and she listens to her mother.

So now the deal is unstruck.

You mean Howie's unemployed again?

Oh, God, my wife's gonna kill me.

Well, I'm sorry,

Thank you.

Oh, by the way,

I'll want three weeks off next summer.

Three weeks? What for?

I'm going to bum around Europe.

TONY: Who's The Boss? will be back in a moment.

Stick around.

Angela, it's 9:30 here.

I can't go to work until I find out.

-Oh!

Hello?

Oh, you're getting faster there, Angela.

Yes, Mother, what happened? We've been sitting here waiting.

We haven't heard what's going on. What's happening? What's happening?

Angela, would you clam up and let her talk?

Mona, what's happening? We've been sitting here all morning.

What's happening, what's happening?

You are doing the same thing! Mother, tell us.

All right, Mona! Hey!

BOTH: There's no business like shoe business.

Mother?

-Mone? -Mother?

Well, what happened? Where is she?

Way to go, Angela.

You chased her off the phone with all your chatter.

Me? You're the one who was doing all the talking.

Come on, already.

You know, for two cents, I would hang up on you.

Oh, yeah? Go ahead.

Ey!