Original subtitles

♪ There is more to life than what you're living

♪ So take a chance and face the wind

♪ An open road and a road that's hidden

♪ A brand new life around the bend

♪ There were times when I lost a dream or two

♪ Found the trail and at the end was you

♪ There's a path you take and a path not taken

♪ The choice is up to you my friend

♪ Nights are long but you might awaken

♪ To a brand new life

♪ Brand new life

♪ Brand new life around the bend ♪

♪ Wait a moment Wait a moment ♪

Good morning.

Morning, Mona.

Meatball heroes? For breakfast?

Ah, nah, Mona, this is for the kids' lunch.

Hot meatball subs for the first day of school.

Mmm-hmm. I give that meat two hours to turn gray,

and the fat to congeal into white, waxy globs.

Mona, Mona, Mona, you're talking to me here.

Not some kid on the street.

Good morning. Oh, Mother, wait until you see Sam.

Tony, those clothes you bought her

are absolutely adorable.

Now wait a minute.

Are we talking six-grade adorable

or are we talking junior high adorable?

Because she's going to be a teenager in two weeks.

Definitely junior high.

Okay. You know, because I really want her to fit in.

She will, Tony.

Not like Angela, who spent her first day

in the seventh grade hiding in her locker.

Mother, I was not hiding.

The ninth graders locked me in there.

Not that that's going to happen to Sam.

Of course not, Tony.

They only do that to nerds with cooties.

Thank you, Mother.

You know, the thing is that

I've been checking out these fashions

in Teen Scene magazine.

And, you know, that outfit I got her

is definitely bodacious.

Sam, now that you're in junior high,

will you still play with me?

Of course I will, Jonathan.

Just not in public.

I can live with that.

Good morning, everybody.

Oh, junior high girl.

Oh, you were right, Tony.

Does she look gnarly.

Boy, junior high's going to be

so much different than grade school.

I mean, I've never even heard of half these subjects.

First period, English Lit?

Oh, honey, that's just a fancy name for reading.

-Composition? -Writing.

-Algebra? -Arithmetic.

Human health and development?

Sex education.

I think I'm going to like junior high.

Oh, mamma mia!

Fifteen right,

22 left,

15 right. Oh, please open.

Please.

Oh, no.

-Sam. -Hi, Marci.

Am I glad to see you.

-How was gym? -Awful.

They make you take a shower.

Ugh...

Sam, don't look. Here come the popular girls.

Marci, we've only been here for three hours.

How can anybody be popular already?

We're talking Robin Fraser.

Her sister was only head cheerleader.

Those are her pom-poms bronzed in the trophy case?

Here they come. Should we say "hi"?

Yeah, but don't blow it.

Hi, Marci.

She's talking to me.

Hi, Robin.

Hi.

This is Bonnie and Julia.

-Hi. -Hi.

Hi.

Oh, this is Samantha Micelli.

-Hi. -Hi.

Hi.

Everyone calls me Sam.

Sam?

Cool nickname.

Come on. Let's go to lunch. I'm starved.

-Me too. -Me too.

You guys want to come?

Yeah, that would be... Pretty okay.

Look, there's Dolores Parkinson.

She went to our elementary school.

I think they're poor.

No, they're not. Her father's a dentist.

Yeah, but he advertises.

Oh, and look, she's brings her lunch.

Uh, I think I'll save my coffee for later.

Oh, awesome.

You're allowed to drink coffee?

Well, actually, it's not really coffee, it's...

Sam.

Brewed decaf. Let's go to lunch.

So where do you live, Sam?

Oak Hills Drive.

Nice neighborhood.

I bet your Dad's loaded.

Well, he really... Cleans up.

Oh, my God.

♪ Wait a moment Wait a moment ♪

So what do you think?

for a common goal...

Angela, is this going to be a long story?

I've got cookies in the oven.

I simply want to know why, with 30 of the industry's

most creative minds on my payroll,

I do all the work.

Simple. You're the best.

That's why they made you president.

You're right.

And, by the way.

Excuse me.

If I was looking at myself,

and I'm not saying I was,

you were watching me do it.

Hi, Dad. Bye, Dad.

Whoa, wait a minute.

Where are you going? Where're you off to?

-Where am I going? -Yeah.

I'm only going to Robin Fraser's house!

Robin Fraser? Well, how come I haven't met her, Sam?

Oh, that's because she's never over here.

I'm always at her house.

Bye, Dad.

See ya.

"See ya."

I'll give you "see ya."

Is everything okay?

She's never home anymore, Angela.

She's always going out.

Well, Tony, you wanted her to fit in.

You wanted her to make friends.

Well, how come I don't know any of them?

How come she don't bring them around?

Well, did you invite them over here?

Since when do kids need invitations?

They come over, they hang out,

they eat your food, they leave.

It's nice.

I've got a great idea.

Tony, why don't we have

a surprise party for her birthday?

I'll get to meet all her new friends.

Yeah. Well, let's make it a slumber party.

Let's not go overboard.

Oh, no, no, Tony, that's what you do

in the seventh grade.

You make popcorn, you talk about boys,

and you practice kissing.

With who?

Tony, you practice on the back of your hand.

We practiced in the back of a Chevy.

Lovely.

Hi, guys.

Honey, come here. Guess what?

For a surprise for Sam's birthday,

we're going to have all her girlfriends sleep over here.

Won't that be fun?

Girls, may I sleep next door at Peter's?

Well, it's okay with me if it's okay with Peter's mom.

Yeah? Oh, boy.

She says yes to everything.

That's why Peter's got so many brothers and sisters.

Tony, are we all set for Saturday?

Well, you know something, Angela?

Now that I think about it, Friday'd be better,

because she will not be expecting a thing.

Oh, Tony, Tony.

I can't, I have a date on Friday.

You do?

With who?

So, I guess you've got a big Friday night planned

with all your friends, huh?

I thought I did, but everyone's busy.

Oh, well, Sam. Don't worry, Sam.

They're probably just having a party and you're not invited.

Thanks a lot, Mona.

Oh, I wonder who that could be?

Sam, would you get that for me?

I'm a little busy here, okay?

Sure. It'll be the thrill of my evening...

Oh, thank you, sweetheart.

-That's them. -I'm outta of here.

Don't let any girls touch my stuff.

Get going. Get outta here.

-Surprise! -Ah!

I don't believe it!

Happy birthday, baby.

Dad, you knew about this the whole time?

What can I say, I'm a party animal.

Your dad planned the whole thing singlehandedly.

Of course, he did confer

with the world's greatest living authority

on slumber parties... Me.

Come on, Tony, let's go make room in the freezer.

For what?

The first girl that falls asleep

gets her bra frozen.

Or in Bonnie's case, her undershirt.

Real nice, Robin.

Mona, I really appreciate you helping me with this

'cause you know I want her to fit in so bad.

Mona, Mona.

Don't you think that's an awful lot of room just for a bra?

Well, you never know, Tony.

The first one to fall asleep may be me.

Oh, yeah.

In that case.

Not bad, huh?

Just two weeks into school

and Robin Fraser's sleeping bag

-is on your floor. -I know.

It's just one thing.

She thinks that my dad's loaded.

Don't worry because it won't I come up.

Ooh, real beamed ceilings.

Nice house.

What does your dad do?

Okay, so I was wrong.

My dad?

Oh, he's terrific... What does your dad do?

Yes, in advertising.

He's the president of Wallace and McQuade.

Really...

It's the 12th largest advertising agency

-in the country. -Oh, my.

It's great.

I don't believe it, Mona.

She's out there lying about me.

Well, Tony, maybe it's... A party game.

You know, "Fib About Your Father."

That's a nice try, Mona.

I'll tell you why she's lying.

Because she's ashamed.

Because a housekeeper ain't good enough for her and her new friends.

Well, you know, she's under a lot of pressure to fit in.

Yeah, I know, and I want her to fit in.

But I can't let her get away with lying.

I don't know why not.

I've been getting away with lying

at my birthday party for years.

Come on. Don't be so hard on her, huh?

Thirteen is a rough age.

Yeah, I guess so. Thirteen, geez...

So is 14.

And 15 and 16...

And 32 was no bowl of cherries.

♪ 'Cause we are living in a material world

♪ And I am a material girl

♪ You know...

How come when you kiss a boy, you have to close your eyes?

That's so you don't see their zits up close.

Hi, Mr. Micelli.

Oh, hi, Dad.

Popcorn. Great. Thanks a lot. Bye, Dad.

Yeah, Sam, do you think I can see you a second in the kitchen?

Excuse me, ladies.

I'll be right back.

Something up, Dad?

Samantha, I heard what you said about me out there.

What do you mean? I don't know what you're talking about...

Sam.

I didn't mean it.

It just kind of happened.

Yeah, well.

You know, you can't be and you shouldn't be ashamed of who you are.

I mean, if there's one thing your mother and I

tried to teach you, that was it.

Now, do you want to go outside and tell your friends the truth,

or do you want me to do it for you?

-I'll do it. -Okay, sweetheart.

I'm sorry, Dad.

I know you are, baby. I know. I know.

I guess you mean tonight, huh?

Hi, I'm back.

ALL: Hi.

You all remember my dad.

Hi.

Hi.

Uh, guys, listen...

When I first got to school,

I really wanted you to like me a lot.

Of course you did.

We're the popular girls.

Yeah.

And we do like you, Sam.

And we took a vote.

You are our new best friend.

I am? You're kidding!

I think you are cheerleader material.

Definitely.

-Did you hear that, Dad? -Yeah, I heard.

Don't bronze my pom-poms yet.

Remember when I was telling you about my dad?

Well, I might have stretched the truth just a little bit.

Okay, I lied.

You lied to your new best friends?

My dad didn't come up with that campaign there.

I just said it because... Well, because...

-Because... -Because advertising is a collaborative art.

You see, let me explain something.

You see, there's graphic artists,

there's market analysts, there's copywriters,

each one loaning his or her own expertise to a common goal.

I mean, I didn't come up with that ad,

but I put the team together that did.

And he did it so quickly.

Dad, you're the best.

That's why I'm the president.

Let's ask it something really important.

Will Boy George let his hair grow long again?

Hello, everybody.

Happy Birthday.

-Angela! -Angela.

Who's that?

It's Angela.

Is she your mom?

-Well, uh... -Yeah, yeah, yeah...

She's your mom. She's my wife. My wife.

Hello, dear.

Tony.

You're married?

Yeah, we're married.

We've been married for years. For years.

Since the wedding, right?

Excuse me.

Could I have a word with you? Privately.

In the kitchen. Excuse me.

Would you mind telling me what the hell is going on here?

That's why we're going in the kitchen.

Won't be a minute.

Hey, Sam, is your dad upset because your mom's on a date?

A date?

Oh, no, no, no.

This is not a date.

This is...

Cousin... Cousin...

-Andrew. -Andrew.

This is Cousin Andrew.

Such a big family.

Well, my goodness, Andrew.

We haven't seen you in forever.

Since the wedding.

Has it been that long?

Well, my goodness.

We can't let that happen again, can we?

Why don't you call me, Andrew.

Here. You'll come by.

We'll barbeque.

Tony, since you've moved in here,

I've had to explain a lot of things to my dates.

But married?

To you?

Well, I had to say we were married because I said I owned your house,

and I'm also the president of Wallace and McQuade.

You're the president of Wallace and McQuade?

Yeah, pretty impressive, huh?

Angela, look,

Samantha just wanted to be like the rest of her friends,

who just happen to be loaded.

Oh, so you're me and I'm your wife.

Who's my mother? Tina Turner?

No, we went with the truth on that.

She's your mother.

-Good. -Sam's grandmother.

Oh, come on, Angela, I know it's wrong.

And Sam knows it's wrong.

But can't we just let it slide for tonight?

I mean, look,

I can't give my daughter what those other guys give their kids.

But I can give her her 13th birthday.

So what do ya say, Angela...

Will you be my wife?

Tony, this is the stupidest thing

I've ever heard of.

What, you got a better offer?

All right, I'll do it.

I'm gonna try to make you happy.

I suppose you're going to try to kiss me again?

You wish.

Come on, come on.

ALL: We got Robin.

Sam, daughter...

Flesh of my flesh.

Hello, Mama.

Don't forget Papa.

Oh, Mama... Where's Andrew?

Oh, you'll see Cousin Andrew at the next family funeral.

We're playing Truth or Dare.

You have to swear to tell the truth or you have to take the dare.

Want to play, Mrs. Bower?

Why not?

What have we got to hide?

This'll be fun.

How come your name is Bower and your husband's is Micelli?

Yes, dear, why is that?

I use my own name for business reasons.

What business are you in?

-Advertising. -Angela...

Oh, just like your husband?

Well, actually, she's not in advertising, right?

Yeah, yeah. That's right. She's not in advertising.

She sort of just helps me.

You know, the woman behind the man sort of thing.

Isn't that right, dear?

Right, dear.

I try to make a nice home for him to come back to.

And you do, dear. You do.

My wife, I think I'll keep her.

Okay, truth or dare?

When you two met, was it love at first sight?

-No. -Yes.

Angela, she said she wanted the truth.

One look, she was hooked.

You wish.

Angela, you asked me to move in the first day you met me.

And he's been plumping her pillows ever since.

Oh, Mother, you're such a card.

Let's open the presents.

Whose you going to open first, Sam?

Well, my dad's had this grin

on his face for weeks, so I'm going to open his.

Oh, no, no, no, hon.

Let's open some of the girls' and we'll do mine tomorrow.

No, that means it's going to be good.

Come on. Open it.

Wow.

Oh, it's a locket.

It opens.

There's a picture inside.

-It's you, Mr. Micelli. - Yeah, it's me.

-Who's that? -Oh, she's beautiful.

Yeah, she's gorgeous, isn't she?

She's Sam's Aunt...

No, she's not, Dad.

She's my mother.

And she taught me to proud of who I am.

And you wanna know something, baby?

I am proud of who you are.

And you know something else,

I think you look just like her.

Oh, I get it, you used to be a brunette.

No, Julia.

She is not her mother.

Really? Then who is she?

She's Angela.

She's terrific.

But the truth is

she's my dad's boss.

My dad's her housekeeper.

And you still have time to run an advertising agency?

Julia, turn the power on.

Yeah, Julia, you see...

Julia... Julia, I do the housekeeping around here.

Angela is the advertising president.

Why didn't you tell us?

I was afraid you wouldn't like me if you knew the truth.

I'm not rich and I bring my lunch.

I'm Samantha Micelli, from Brooklyn.

Hey, ho, ho, hey.

Oh, Sam, I would have still liked you.

Me, too.

Not me.

What?

I am a snob. You guys know that.

But I guess it's too late.

I already like you...

Thanks, guys.

Oh, you're the best.

They like me.

Hey, ho. What's not to like, eh?

Right, dear?

Right, dear.

Sweetheart, you missed the best party last night.

Oh, how would you know?

Your mother was the first person to fall asleep.

Angela, would you do me a favor?

I got my hands full here.

Would you get the orange juice out of the freezer, please?

Oh, sure.

My bra!

You knew the rules, Angela.

The first one to fall asleep.

You were right, Tony.

We didn't need that much space.

Oh, thank you, Mother!