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(funky music) (static hissing)
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(traffic humming)
3
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(upbeat music)
4
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(audience cheering)
5
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- Whoo!
6
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- Man, the food here got lots better
7
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when they took Vinny's momma off the stage
8
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and put her in the kitchen.
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- Yeah, but I'm gonna miss her.
10
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These new girls they ain't got no tits.
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(Cheech and Lucky laughing)
12
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- Mom, I see the menu hasn't changed.
13
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- [Mom] You'll spoil your appetite.
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(group cheering)
15
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(nose snorting)
16
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(group clapping)
17
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- This is (speaks in foreign language).
18
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How can we sit here and eat
19
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when three of our boys have been killed in the past week?
20
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- Yeah, you hear about No Nose Tony?
21
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They're still scraping his guts off of the sidewalk.
22
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- You guys are mental.
23
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He fell fixing his roof.
24
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- That's bullshit.
25
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I don't feel safe.
26
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- Lucky, you wouldn't feel safe
27
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fucking in a field of four-leaf clovers.
28
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I gotta go take a squirt.
29
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(group chattering)
30
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- Now where are you going?
31
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- I'm going to the choke the cannoli.
32
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I'll be right back.
33
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- You're a real fucking class act, Cheech, you know. (sighs)
34
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(funky music)
35
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Mary Mother of God.
36
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- Do something.
37
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- Baby, you've been replaced.
38
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(Married Patron groans)
39
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- That's one hell of a nun.
40
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- I wanna know who's the sick fuck
41
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who okayed that whore to dress like that?
42
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- Damned if I know.
43
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I didn't even know they hired a new girl.
44
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- Can you believe that fucking Lucky, Bobo?
45
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I swear to god if his mother didn't run the operation
46
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he'd be taking swimming lessons in the Providence River
47
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with concrete water weights. (chuckles)
48
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Bobo.
49
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Hey, Bobo!
50
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(speaking in foreign language)
51
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Bobo, what gives?
52
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This ain't no game of hide and seek.
53
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Bobo!
54
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- Hi, I got a confession for ya, Sister.
55
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I only wear this ring to pick up the chicks.
56
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- Oh, baby, when I'm done with you,
57
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you know what you're gonna be picking up?
58
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- What's that, Sister?
59
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- Your fucking guts off the floor.
60
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(brooding music) (foot thuds)
61
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(body thuds) (Married Patron groaning)
62
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Does anyone else have something to confess?
63
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(group yelling)
64
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- There's a killer on the!
65
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(gun banging)
66
00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:02,068
(Go-go Dancer screaming)
67
00:05:02,101 --> 00:05:04,637
- Boss, I got someone down here you should take a look at.
68
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- Kill her.
69
00:05:05,571 --> 00:05:07,006
(guns banging)
70
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- I hope my dear mother doesn't find out about this.
71
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(gun banging)
72
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(Lucky yells)
73
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(gun banging)
74
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(gun banging)
75
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(gun banging)
76
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(body thuds)
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(gun banging)
78
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(body thuds)
79
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(gun banging)
80
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(gun clicking)
81
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- You bitch!
82
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I'm gonna eat your fucking guts like they were manicotti.
83
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- Ta-da!
84
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(grenade clicks)
85
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(grenade clangs) (screen whooshes)
86
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(explosion booming) (man groaning)
87
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(body crashing)
88
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- Jesus Christ.
89
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(hand whooshes)
90
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(gun bangs) (Lucky groaning)
91
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- Where's Corbucci?
92
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- Cor, who?
93
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I don't know any Corbucci, I swear to God.
94
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- You can swear to God all you want, jerk off.
95
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I do his dirty work,
96
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:04,564
and I can tell you that God doesn't give one fuck about you!
97
00:06:04,597 --> 00:06:07,633
- Please, I'm a good Catholic.
98
00:06:07,667 --> 00:06:09,669
- Where is he?
99
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I was told he'd be here tonight.
100
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You have three seconds.
101
00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:14,941
(gun bangs) (ominous music)
102
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(body thuds)
103
00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:20,780
- A hitman disguised as a nun,
104
00:06:20,813 --> 00:06:23,015
now I fuckin' seen it all, haven't I?
105
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:26,452
- Corbucci, shouldn't you be home
106
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,989
fucking your mother? (laughs)
107
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- Nice talk.
108
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That's, really that's nice talk.
109
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But none of that matters anymore
110
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because now I've got you.
111
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Vengeance is mine, bitch.
112
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(gun bangs)
113
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(cross beeping)
114
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(brooding music) (computer beeping)
115
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- I knew she was no match for them.
116
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- She didn't have time for proper training,
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00:06:59,185 --> 00:07:00,953
for proper guidance.
118
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We've become to hasty in sending
119
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these novices out into the field.
120
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- But there was no time.
121
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Operation Friday Plant was a top priority
122
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as you well know, Sister.
123
00:07:10,229 --> 00:07:12,432
- With Sister Envy eliminated,
124
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who's going to take her place?
125
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(Cardinal wheezing)
126
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(man vocalizing)
127
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- The next chosen nun is many miles away,
128
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and we have been watching this nun closely.
129
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And this nun is dynamite.
130
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(birds chirping)
131
00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:43,062
- Really, Sister Kelly, I can see
132
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that I should take at least partial responsibility for this.
133
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I should have made
134
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your first solitary meditation a little longer,
135
00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:54,740
after the um, the shower incident.
136
00:07:54,774 --> 00:07:57,577
- Hey, don't try to pin that on me, Mother Superior,
137
00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:58,845
that wasn't my fault.
138
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- Nonsense!
139
00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:05,585
In all of my years in giving service to the good Lord,
140
00:08:05,618 --> 00:08:09,989
I have never, ever seen such reckless behavior.
141
00:08:10,022 --> 00:08:11,757
(ethereal music) (water splashing)
142
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- Have you ever noticed
143
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,827
how wonderful breasts are, Sister Kelly?
144
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- Huh?
145
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- What a gift from the Lord they are.
146
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They have so many uses.
147
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:20,967
- Yeah, well, not when you're a nun,
148
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,503
then they're about as useful as hubcaps on a tractor.
149
00:08:23,536 --> 00:08:26,472
- Oh, come one now, Sister Kelly, that's not the spirit.
150
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I mean your breasts are like your two best friends,
151
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they're always there when you need them.
152
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- Best friends hardly.
153
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- You just haven't properly learned
154
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how to love your breasts.
155
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Let me help show you how.
156
00:08:38,985 --> 00:08:40,653
(elbow thuds) (Sister Sappho groans)
157
00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:42,588
- For the last time, Sister Sappho,
158
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when are you gonna stop being such a sucker for my tits?
159
00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:49,629
- I can see now that what happened that day
160
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is a mere symptom of a bigger problem
161
00:08:52,598 --> 00:08:56,335
of temperament, and self-control.
162
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:57,770
- But Mother, I-
163
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- No, there is nothing you can say to change.
164
00:09:00,773 --> 00:09:02,408
- But he- - No!
165
00:09:02,441 --> 00:09:05,177
There is no mitigating circumstances
166
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:09,382
in which you ever lay hands on a priest.
167
00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:13,853
- The laying on of hands is venerated tradition,
168
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:15,721
but laying someone out with a communion chalice
169
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is something else entirely.
170
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- Yes, Father, you're right.
171
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I am sure that Sister Kelly is sorry.
172
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- No! (fist thuds)
173
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I don't feel bad about it.
174
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He was sodomizing one
175
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of the parishioners in the confessional.
176
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God knows he deserved worse, and I would have to
177
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but those cups are too damn flimsy
178
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to bash somebody's head in with!
179
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,847
- The confessional is a place of sacred secrecy.
180
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- No! (fist thuds)
181
00:09:43,382 --> 00:09:47,553
Look we've all had sex in the confessional before,
182
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:52,592
but we are not all trying to ball a 14-year-old girl scout.
183
00:09:53,459 --> 00:09:55,194
- I was do nothing of the sort.
184
00:09:55,227 --> 00:09:56,829
I was simply trying to-
185
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- Grab her cookies.
186
00:09:57,830 --> 00:09:59,398
- Enough!
187
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:03,836
Sister Kelly, I don't care what the father
188
00:10:03,869 --> 00:10:05,171
was doing in the confessional
189
00:10:05,204 --> 00:10:07,406
or who he was doing in the confessional,
190
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,575
that is not what matters here today.
191
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:15,648
What matters is that you are not fit to be a nun
192
00:10:16,849 --> 00:10:20,720
at Our Lady of the Blessed Passivity.
193
00:10:20,753 --> 00:10:24,624
I've transferred you to St. Vrains.
194
00:10:24,657 --> 00:10:25,825
- No!
195
00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:29,662
- Yes, St. Vrains of the unrepentant sinner.
196
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:36,469
After a year there you will be praying to come back.
197
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(Kelly snarling)
198
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:43,376
(group chattering)
199
00:10:43,409 --> 00:10:45,244
- Have fun at St. Vrains.
200
00:10:45,277 --> 00:10:47,279
That's where all the bad girls go.
201
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,815
And when you get really bad, (grunts)
202
00:10:49,849 --> 00:10:51,851
you can come back to me.
203
00:10:51,884 --> 00:10:52,685
(fist thuds) (Priest groaning)
204
00:10:52,718 --> 00:10:56,188
(body thudding)
205
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:59,525
(slow tempo rock music)
206
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:02,928
(foot thuds)
207
00:11:02,962 --> 00:11:04,730
- [Kelly] Cocksucker.
208
00:11:04,764 --> 00:11:09,769
♪ Gotta believe I can do anything I set my mind to ♪
209
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:17,209
♪ Even though it's a lie ♪
210
00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:22,248
♪ It'll get me through ♪
211
00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:28,421
♪ Board up the windows, lock all the doors ♪
212
00:11:28,454 --> 00:11:32,992
♪ Ain't coming now till I come around ♪
213
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:38,030
♪ Done with this big talking small town ♪
214
00:11:41,333 --> 00:11:45,805
♪ And it was last call for me ♪
215
00:11:45,838 --> 00:11:48,641
♪ When I saw what I ♪
216
00:11:48,674 --> 00:11:50,643
- Hey now, got a good look to you.
217
00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:52,778
Cute face.
218
00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:55,181
And that bag you're wearing
219
00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:59,018
can't keep that slamming body of yours under wraps.
220
00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:01,320
You got a name, pudding?
221
00:12:02,988 --> 00:12:05,825
Hey, I'm just trying to be friendly.
222
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:09,428
(suspenseful music)
223
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:12,498
- Hey, watch where you're going.
224
00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:16,368
- She just couldn't take her eyes off of Emilio back there.
225
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:18,637
- I'm sorry.
226
00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:22,408
- Hey, now was that polite.
227
00:12:22,441 --> 00:12:24,610
I just wanted to know what your name was.
228
00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:26,812
- My name's Kelly Johnson.
229
00:12:27,947 --> 00:12:30,916
I'm a novice in the Carmelite order of nuns.
230
00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:32,184
(group laughing)
231
00:12:32,218 --> 00:12:34,153
- Hey. - Really?
232
00:12:34,186 --> 00:12:36,756
'Cause I thought your name was pussy.
233
00:12:38,157 --> 00:12:41,527
And you're gonna be working for me from here on out, pussy.
234
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:49,101
(Kelly screams)
235
00:12:50,035 --> 00:12:52,404
(body thuds)
236
00:12:54,206 --> 00:12:57,409
It's time for you to eat the host, Sister.
237
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:01,814
- How about some nuts for an appetizer?
238
00:13:01,847 --> 00:13:03,182
(suspenseful music) (foot thuds)
239
00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:07,686
(Emilio groans) (Mohawk and Tiny laughing)
240
00:13:10,756 --> 00:13:12,691
- You fucking bitch!
241
00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:16,595
- (laughs) She's not gonna give it up easy, Emilio.
242
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:17,997
- Shut up.
243
00:13:18,030 --> 00:13:19,198
Come hold her down.
244
00:13:19,231 --> 00:13:24,236
(hand slaps) (Kelly screams)
245
00:13:28,174 --> 00:13:29,942
(foot thuds)
246
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:31,343
(foot thuds) (Tiny groans)
247
00:13:31,377 --> 00:13:33,312
- You better watch out you don't hurt yourself.
248
00:13:33,345 --> 00:13:35,648
Can't just bust in a nun like any old bitch.
249
00:13:36,949 --> 00:13:38,684
The cherries are all pit.
250
00:13:38,717 --> 00:13:40,419
(fist thuds) (Kelly groans)
251
00:13:40,452 --> 00:13:42,988
You could snap it off in there.
252
00:13:43,022 --> 00:13:45,724
- Broken harder pussies than this one.
253
00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:47,893
- Tiny, put here up face down.
254
00:13:47,927 --> 00:13:49,128
(Kelly grunts)
255
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:51,330
She wants to be a pain in the ass,
256
00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:52,498
can play that way too.
257
00:13:55,267 --> 00:13:56,202
(Emilio groans)
258
00:13:56,235 --> 00:13:57,503
(body thuds) (dramatic music)
259
00:13:57,536 --> 00:13:59,572
(Tiny gasps) (blood dripping)
260
00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:00,706
(fist thuds) (Tiny groans)
261
00:14:00,739 --> 00:14:02,041
(body thuds) (suspenseful music)
262
00:14:02,074 --> 00:14:04,276
- Which one of you motherfuckers is next to die?
263
00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:06,545
- Stupid fuckin', whore!
264
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:07,546
(gun bangs)
265
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,014
(gun thuds) (Mohawk groans)
266
00:14:09,048 --> 00:14:10,850
(bones cracking) (Mohawk groaning)
267
00:14:10,883 --> 00:14:13,185
(body thuds) (Mohawk groans)
268
00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:14,019
(Mohawk groaning)
269
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:15,554
(head thudding)
270
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:16,488
- Monsters!
271
00:14:18,824 --> 00:14:20,159
Try to rape a nun!
272
00:14:21,393 --> 00:14:23,829
(head thuds)
273
00:14:29,301 --> 00:14:31,670
(leaves rustling)
274
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:32,905
- Hey, pussy.
275
00:14:34,306 --> 00:14:36,075
I'm not done with you yet.
276
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:38,978
(gun bangs)
277
00:14:39,011 --> 00:14:40,212
(body thuds)
278
00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:41,046
(group vocalizing) (ominous music)
279
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,015
- Sister Kelly Johnson.
280
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:46,485
- Yeah, you must be from St. Vrains.
281
00:14:46,518 --> 00:14:50,155
- Sister Kelly Johnson, prepare to meet your maker.
282
00:14:50,189 --> 00:14:50,990
- What?
283
00:14:51,023 --> 00:14:52,157
(gun bangs)
284
00:14:52,191 --> 00:14:54,326
(ethereal music)
285
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,263
(woman vocalizing)
286
00:15:05,304 --> 00:15:07,773
- Are you Sister Kelly?
287
00:15:07,806 --> 00:15:12,811
- Yes, I, um, did I, have I, is this hell?
288
00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:18,017
- No, it's not hell, toots.
289
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:19,251
- Who are you?
290
00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:22,421
- Well, I'm Oscar, your guardian angel.
291
00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:24,590
- Guardian angel?
292
00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:25,824
Where the hell were you when those goons
293
00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:27,226
where trying to rape me?
294
00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:28,193
- Wait, back off.
295
00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:29,461
- And where the hell where you
296
00:15:29,495 --> 00:15:30,529
when I was getting my ass blown away
297
00:15:30,562 --> 00:15:32,431
by an AK-47, huh?
298
00:15:32,464 --> 00:15:34,300
Some guardian angel you are.
299
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:36,101
- Bitch, I was buying smokes.
300
00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:38,704
Do you have any idea how hard it is to get menthol up here?
301
00:15:38,737 --> 00:15:40,139
Now get off my fucking case
302
00:15:40,172 --> 00:15:41,807
before I send you straight to hell.
303
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:42,675
Angels can do that you know.
304
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:44,410
- Okay, okay.
305
00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:45,911
- Geez Louise.
306
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,480
Come on Sister Short Fuse, I got somethin' to show ya.
307
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,751
- Sisters and Sisters, I am pleased
308
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:56,088
to introduce to you tonight's main attraction.
309
00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:58,424
The Gurby parishioner is proud to present
310
00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:01,794
the one, the only, the king.
311
00:16:01,827 --> 00:16:03,562
- You have Elvis here?
312
00:16:03,595 --> 00:16:04,964
- No, not, not quite.
313
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:06,432
(upbeat music)
314
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:09,401
♪ My father who art in these clouds ♪
315
00:16:09,435 --> 00:16:11,136
♪ Would be so proud ♪
316
00:16:11,170 --> 00:16:14,006
♪ We've been able to assemble such a crowd ♪
317
00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:17,142
♪ You'll notice these clouds are the highest ♪
318
00:16:17,176 --> 00:16:18,844
♪ And not that he's biased ♪
319
00:16:18,877 --> 00:16:21,747
♪ But Daddy reserves the best for the pious ♪
320
00:16:21,780 --> 00:16:25,484
♪ I'm honored to be with such good-looking ladies ♪
321
00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:28,420
♪ Who've stood for abstaining all your lives ♪
322
00:16:28,454 --> 00:16:29,388
♪ When you could ♪
323
00:16:29,421 --> 00:16:32,358
♪ My dears, I love you all ♪
324
00:16:32,391 --> 00:16:34,193
♪ We'll be having a ball ♪
325
00:16:34,226 --> 00:16:37,496
♪ Did I mention that, that heaven has a dance hall ♪
326
00:16:37,529 --> 00:16:40,933
♪ Sister, sister, temptation resister ♪
327
00:16:40,966 --> 00:16:42,201
♪ Now you're here with me ♪
328
00:16:42,234 --> 00:16:44,536
♪ Your sanctity is ironclad ♪
329
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:46,605
♪ My sympathetic aesthetics ♪
330
00:16:46,638 --> 00:16:48,574
♪ You're all so unapologetic ♪
331
00:16:48,607 --> 00:16:53,612
♪ For the fact that you've devoted your lives to my dad ♪
332
00:16:54,380 --> 00:16:55,581
- (gasps) Is that?
333
00:16:55,614 --> 00:16:56,415
- Yes, it is.
334
00:16:56,448 --> 00:16:57,282
That's the J Man.
335
00:16:57,316 --> 00:16:58,150
Ain't he a beaut?
336
00:17:05,391 --> 00:17:06,792
- Why are you still naked?
337
00:17:06,825 --> 00:17:07,993
- 'Cause I'm an angel.
338
00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,796
♪ My children your work on earth is over ♪
339
00:17:10,829 --> 00:17:12,598
♪ So why remain sober ♪
340
00:17:12,631 --> 00:17:14,266
♪ If you'd like some blood of Christ ♪
341
00:17:14,299 --> 00:17:15,467
♪ I'll be donor ♪
342
00:17:15,501 --> 00:17:18,570
♪ Sweet vestals, heaven's a celebration ♪
343
00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:20,239
♪ Eternity's vacation ♪
344
00:17:20,272 --> 00:17:24,276
♪ And your presence here might be my last temptation ♪
345
00:17:24,309 --> 00:17:27,713
♪ So please enjoy your stay on cloud nine ♪
346
00:17:27,746 --> 00:17:31,583
♪ I can assure you ladies that you look divine ♪
347
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:34,486
♪ So let me turn some of this water into wine ♪
348
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:38,924
♪ And resurrect this party like it's 1899 ♪
349
00:17:38,957 --> 00:17:41,860
(group vocalizing)
350
00:17:42,995 --> 00:17:46,231
♪ Sister, sister, temptation resister ♪
351
00:17:46,265 --> 00:17:49,768
♪ Now you're here with me your sanctity is ironclad ♪
352
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:51,837
♪ My sympathetic aesthetics ♪
353
00:17:51,870 --> 00:17:54,573
♪ You're all so unapologetic for the fact ♪
354
00:17:54,606 --> 00:17:58,277
♪ That you've devoted your lives to my dad ♪
355
00:17:58,310 --> 00:18:01,647
♪ Sister, sister, temptation resister ♪
356
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:05,117
♪ Now you're here with me your sanctity is ironclad ♪
357
00:18:05,150 --> 00:18:07,319
♪ My sympathetic aesthetics ♪
358
00:18:07,352 --> 00:18:09,888
♪ You're all so unapologetic for the fact ♪
359
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:14,827
♪ That you've devoted your lives to my dad ♪
360
00:18:16,528 --> 00:18:19,131
(Nun gurgling)
361
00:18:20,432 --> 00:18:21,800
- This is amazing.
362
00:18:21,834 --> 00:18:23,235
- I know.
363
00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:25,404
He wants to meet with you backstage after the performance.
364
00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:30,375
(gentle music)
365
00:18:31,810 --> 00:18:34,279
Hey, Chief, I got someone here to see ya.
366
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:37,616
- I'm so glad you could make it, Sister Kelly.
367
00:18:39,518 --> 00:18:41,954
Oscar, hand 'em over.
368
00:18:42,821 --> 00:18:43,655
- But, boss.
369
00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:50,129
- Thank you.
370
00:18:50,162 --> 00:18:51,330
You can go no, Oscar.
371
00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:58,971
- You know my name, Lord.
372
00:18:59,004 --> 00:19:02,474
- Please, call me husband not Lord.
373
00:19:02,508 --> 00:19:05,144
Bride of Christ means just that,
374
00:19:05,177 --> 00:19:07,479
I'm married to every last nun,
375
00:19:08,580 --> 00:19:10,749
which is ironic because back on earth
376
00:19:10,782 --> 00:19:11,950
that would make me a Mormon.
377
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,119
(Kelly and Jesus laughing)
378
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:18,457
- Uh, why am I here, husband?
379
00:19:18,490 --> 00:19:20,025
- To train.
380
00:19:20,058 --> 00:19:21,260
- What?
381
00:19:21,293 --> 00:19:23,562
- I'm sending you back as a emissary on earth.
382
00:19:23,595 --> 00:19:24,897
- Uh, I'm no prophet.
383
00:19:24,930 --> 00:19:26,565
I, I wouldn't know what to say,
384
00:19:26,598 --> 00:19:28,834
and (sighs) people keep telling me
385
00:19:28,867 --> 00:19:31,436
that I have this wicked temper problem.
386
00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:33,605
- I'm not sending you back as a prophet.
387
00:19:35,407 --> 00:19:39,144
I'm sending back as a sanctified crusader,
388
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,813
a member of the Order of the Black Habit.
389
00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,382
- The what?
390
00:19:43,415 --> 00:19:45,350
- The Order of the Black Habit.
391
00:19:46,718 --> 00:19:48,320
Since you've already gained access into heaven,
392
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:51,323
you know mortal sins aren't a problem for you anymore.
393
00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:55,694
Let's face it some people just need to die.
394
00:19:55,727 --> 00:19:57,162
- What?
395
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,664
- (scoffs) Don't get all bent out of shape about it.
396
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:01,600
I mean these are people that weren't gonna be saved anyway.
397
00:20:01,633 --> 00:20:06,271
You know like drug dealers, and pimps, mafia dons,
398
00:20:06,305 --> 00:20:08,507
CEOs of major corporations, you know that kind of thing.
399
00:20:08,540 --> 00:20:11,076
- This is got to be some sort of mistake.
400
00:20:11,109 --> 00:20:12,878
- No, it's not.
401
00:20:12,911 --> 00:20:15,614
I've seen your work back on earth.
402
00:20:15,647 --> 00:20:18,951
The Order of the Black Habit would be a perfect fit for you.
403
00:20:20,519 --> 00:20:23,288
- Well, what do I have to lose?
404
00:20:23,322 --> 00:20:25,023
- That's the spirit.
405
00:20:25,057 --> 00:20:27,993
But first we train.
406
00:20:28,026 --> 00:20:31,363
(insects chirping)
407
00:20:31,396 --> 00:20:36,401
(fist thuds) (ominous music)
408
00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:40,072
- Oh, the Order of the Black Habit,
409
00:20:40,105 --> 00:20:41,773
why didn't I think of that before?
410
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:43,709
It all makes sense, yeah.
411
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:45,544
You think I'm fuckin' idiot?
412
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:46,612
You seriously gonna sit there
413
00:20:46,645 --> 00:20:48,480
and look at me in my eye,
414
00:20:48,513 --> 00:20:50,616
and tell me there's a secret organization
415
00:20:50,649 --> 00:20:52,751
of supernatural vigilante nuns,
416
00:20:52,784 --> 00:20:54,086
what do I look like, huh?
417
00:20:54,119 --> 00:20:55,954
What do I fucking look like?
418
00:20:55,988 --> 00:20:56,922
The type of mook?
419
00:20:56,955 --> 00:20:58,857
- I'm telling you the truth.
420
00:20:58,890 --> 00:21:00,092
You must believe me.
421
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:05,264
For over 1500 years The Order of the Black Habit
422
00:21:05,297 --> 00:21:06,865
has been fighting crime
423
00:21:06,898 --> 00:21:09,301
and keeping the world safe from evil.
424
00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:11,603
They answer only to the pope.
425
00:21:11,637 --> 00:21:14,273
- Boss, uh, maybe he's tellin' the truth.
426
00:21:14,306 --> 00:21:16,942
I mean after all he is a priest.
427
00:21:18,443 --> 00:21:20,212
- I swear to God in heaven,
428
00:21:21,446 --> 00:21:23,815
I wouldn't lie to you, Mr. Corbucci.
429
00:21:25,117 --> 00:21:27,219
- I believe you, I really do.
430
00:21:28,487 --> 00:21:29,921
I'll tell you what,
431
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,757
you tell me where their hideout is, Priest,
432
00:21:31,790 --> 00:21:33,125
and I swear on my mother's grave,
433
00:21:33,158 --> 00:21:35,027
I'll let you walk out of here.
434
00:21:35,060 --> 00:21:39,431
- You don't understand, every member of the clergy
435
00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:42,668
has taken an oath of silence concerning the details
436
00:21:42,701 --> 00:21:44,469
of The Order of the Black Habit.
437
00:21:45,871 --> 00:21:50,842
(crutch thuds) (Priest groaning)
438
00:21:52,711 --> 00:21:54,780
I'll be damned to Hell for all eternity
439
00:21:54,813 --> 00:21:56,882
if I utter a word.
440
00:21:56,915 --> 00:21:57,816
- Hell?
441
00:21:57,849 --> 00:22:00,185
(group laughing)
442
00:22:00,218 --> 00:22:02,821
Hear that boys, he's afraid of hell.
443
00:22:05,857 --> 00:22:09,194
You see I'm the one you should be afraid of, Priest.
444
00:22:09,227 --> 00:22:11,296
All the fires of hell are nothing compared
445
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,597
to what I got in store for you
446
00:22:12,631 --> 00:22:14,733
if you don't start talking.
447
00:22:14,766 --> 00:22:18,437
- Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.
448
00:22:18,470 --> 00:22:19,771
- Untie him.
449
00:22:19,805 --> 00:22:20,706
- Thy kingdom come.
450
00:22:20,739 --> 00:22:22,974
- It's not Friday is it boys?
451
00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:25,410
- No, boss, it's uh, it's Tuesday.
452
00:22:25,444 --> 00:22:27,746
- Good, then we can have meat for dinner.
453
00:22:27,779 --> 00:22:28,914
(group laughing)
454
00:22:28,947 --> 00:22:30,515
- No, Vincent, my son.
455
00:22:30,549 --> 00:22:33,085
For the love all that's holy don't do this.
456
00:22:33,118 --> 00:22:34,386
I'm married you and your wife.
457
00:22:34,419 --> 00:22:35,987
- Yeah, and I hate that bitch.
458
00:22:36,021 --> 00:22:37,322
(group laughing)
459
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:39,725
- [Priest] No, no!
460
00:22:39,758 --> 00:22:42,694
(Priest screaming)
461
00:22:44,529 --> 00:22:47,265
(ethereal music)
462
00:22:48,767 --> 00:22:51,136
- Now I know why cows are sacred, they taste divine.
463
00:22:52,704 --> 00:22:54,906
- I'm supposed to learn how to fight from you?
464
00:22:54,940 --> 00:22:56,408
You're a pacifist.
465
00:22:56,441 --> 00:22:57,809
- Oh, you are mistaken.
466
00:22:57,843 --> 00:22:59,544
I was never a pacifist.
467
00:22:59,578 --> 00:23:01,213
I mastered fighting without fighting,
468
00:23:01,246 --> 00:23:03,648
the highest level of martial arts you can achieve,
469
00:23:03,682 --> 00:23:06,284
which is why they send all new recruits to me.
470
00:23:06,318 --> 00:23:07,152
- Fair enough.
471
00:23:08,253 --> 00:23:09,688
So what do I get to learn first?
472
00:23:09,721 --> 00:23:12,424
- Oh, the deadliest of all martial arts, nun fu.
473
00:23:12,457 --> 00:23:13,492
(suspenseful music)
474
00:23:13,525 --> 00:23:14,993
(arms whoosh) (bodies whoosh)
475
00:23:15,026 --> 00:23:16,695
- Hey, aren't you suppose to teach me some moves first?
476
00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:19,297
- No, need, these are demon ninjas that were created
477
00:23:19,331 --> 00:23:22,734
to harmonize your body with the fighting spirit within you.
478
00:23:22,768 --> 00:23:25,771
The harder you fight the more knowledgeable you will become.
479
00:23:26,772 --> 00:23:28,039
Now enough talk.
480
00:23:28,874 --> 00:23:29,708
Let's get it on.
481
00:23:31,076 --> 00:23:32,344
(arm whooshes)
482
00:23:32,377 --> 00:23:33,779
(fists thudding)
483
00:23:33,812 --> 00:23:35,814
(foot thuds) (Kelly groans)
484
00:23:35,847 --> 00:23:37,349
(fist thudding)
485
00:23:37,382 --> 00:23:38,650
(fist thuds) (Kelly groans)
486
00:23:38,683 --> 00:23:40,819
(Kelly groans) (body thuds)
487
00:23:40,852 --> 00:23:41,820
(foot thuds) (Kelly groans)
488
00:23:41,853 --> 00:23:45,590
(foot thudding) (Kelly groaning)
489
00:23:45,624 --> 00:23:47,592
(fists thudding)
490
00:23:47,626 --> 00:23:48,560
(foot thuds)
491
00:23:48,593 --> 00:23:49,294
(body thuds) (Kelly groans)
492
00:23:49,327 --> 00:23:51,296
(Kelly panting)
493
00:23:51,329 --> 00:23:52,497
- I give up.
494
00:23:52,531 --> 00:23:55,100
They're too much, I can't win.
495
00:23:55,133 --> 00:23:56,668
(electricity buzzing) (Kelly screaming)
496
00:23:56,701 --> 00:24:00,305
- Get up, I will have no coward nuns in my dojo.
497
00:24:00,338 --> 00:24:02,340
- Whatever happened to turn the other cheek?
498
00:24:02,374 --> 00:24:05,510
- (chuckles) Silly Sister, these are demon ninjas.
499
00:24:05,544 --> 00:24:08,113
Now get up and find your inner warrior nun.
500
00:24:08,146 --> 00:24:11,116
(electricity buzzing) (Kelly screaming)
501
00:24:11,149 --> 00:24:13,585
(suspenseful music)
502
00:24:13,618 --> 00:24:15,153
(Kelly yelling)
503
00:24:15,187 --> 00:24:16,321
(foot thuds) (body thuds)
504
00:24:16,354 --> 00:24:17,289
(fist thuds) (Ninja groans)
505
00:24:17,322 --> 00:24:18,290
(knee thuds) (Ninja groans)
506
00:24:18,323 --> 00:24:20,926
(foot thuds) (Ninja groans)
507
00:24:20,959 --> 00:24:21,893
(Kelly yells) (Ninja groans)
508
00:24:21,927 --> 00:24:23,929
(fist thuds) (Ninja groans)
509
00:24:23,962 --> 00:24:26,398
(Kelly grunting)
510
00:24:26,431 --> 00:24:27,766
(fist thudding)
511
00:24:27,799 --> 00:24:28,834
(Ninja groans)
512
00:24:28,867 --> 00:24:30,368
(foot thuds)
513
00:24:30,402 --> 00:24:31,970
(Kelly yells) (body thuds)
514
00:24:32,003 --> 00:24:34,506
Congratulations, you have reached the highest level
515
00:24:34,539 --> 00:24:37,108
of understanding of unarmed combat.
516
00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:38,910
There is nothing further I can teach you.
517
00:24:38,944 --> 00:24:40,545
Just remember the nun
518
00:24:40,579 --> 00:24:43,348
that hesitates horizontally meditates.
519
00:24:43,381 --> 00:24:44,616
(electricity buzzing) (Kelly groans)
520
00:24:44,649 --> 00:24:45,684
(Gandhi laughing)
521
00:24:45,717 --> 00:24:47,519
- So Mohamed says to the hooker,
522
00:24:47,552 --> 00:24:49,354
"That's all I get for a buck."
523
00:24:49,387 --> 00:24:52,123
(group laughing)
524
00:24:53,625 --> 00:24:55,460
(screen whooshes)
525
00:24:55,494 --> 00:24:57,295
- What the hell was that?
526
00:24:57,329 --> 00:24:59,431
- Oh, don't mind him.
527
00:24:59,464 --> 00:25:03,034
Gandhi, fantastic instructor, brilliant martial artist,
528
00:25:03,068 --> 00:25:04,503
he's just a little-
529
00:25:04,536 --> 00:25:07,072
- He hit me with a fucking cattle prod!
530
00:25:07,105 --> 00:25:09,040
- Sounds like she got off easy.
531
00:25:09,074 --> 00:25:10,542
- That's right, Lord.
532
00:25:10,575 --> 00:25:14,446
- Well, here's something that'll put a smile on your face.
533
00:25:14,479 --> 00:25:17,215
(screen whooshes)
534
00:25:17,249 --> 00:25:20,018
(birds chirping)
535
00:25:28,026 --> 00:25:29,227
(guns banging)
536
00:25:29,261 --> 00:25:33,865
(tires screeching) (suspenseful music)
537
00:25:40,205 --> 00:25:44,075
- I quit, I quit!
538
00:25:44,109 --> 00:25:46,811
(halo whooshes)
539
00:25:46,845 --> 00:25:49,414
(guns banging)
540
00:25:53,618 --> 00:25:55,954
(tires screeching)
541
00:25:55,987 --> 00:25:57,355
(Jesus laughing)
542
00:25:57,389 --> 00:25:59,858
- Are you sure this okay, husband?
543
00:25:59,891 --> 00:26:01,826
- Well, you gotta learn to shoot
544
00:26:01,860 --> 00:26:03,728
and he's gotta learn to quit smoking
545
00:26:03,762 --> 00:26:05,897
so it all works out.
546
00:26:05,931 --> 00:26:09,367
(brooding music)
547
00:26:09,401 --> 00:26:13,371
- There are some commandments that are not written in stone.
548
00:26:13,405 --> 00:26:16,207
- And what are those, oh mighty Moses?
549
00:26:16,241 --> 00:26:18,977
- Thou shall not fuck with nuns.
550
00:26:19,010 --> 00:26:24,015
(upbeat funky music) (group cheering)
551
00:26:32,724 --> 00:26:33,758
(screen whooshes)
552
00:26:33,792 --> 00:26:34,593
(Kelly chuckles)
553
00:26:34,626 --> 00:26:36,461
- Well, that was fun.
554
00:26:36,494 --> 00:26:37,996
- Yeah.
555
00:26:38,029 --> 00:26:41,199
- Well, it's nearly time, are you ready to go back?
556
00:26:41,232 --> 00:26:42,601
- Oh, I don't feel ready,
557
00:26:43,468 --> 00:26:45,370
and I don't wanna leave you.
558
00:26:45,403 --> 00:26:48,607
- (chuckles) Well, I'm sure we'll be seeing
559
00:26:48,640 --> 00:26:50,041
each other at some point.
560
00:26:51,042 --> 00:26:52,110
Good luck down there.
561
00:26:53,044 --> 00:26:54,112
(grunting) No.
562
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:56,681
We'll have none of that.
563
00:26:59,384 --> 00:27:00,619
(screen whooshes)
564
00:27:00,652 --> 00:27:02,821
- Sister Lust, how do you like your sausage?
565
00:27:03,822 --> 00:27:08,526
- Hot, thick, and juicy.
566
00:27:09,694 --> 00:27:11,997
- Uh, do you want it in your buns?
567
00:27:13,398 --> 00:27:18,069
I mean on a bun, the singular, not the pubic, the plural.
568
00:27:19,671 --> 00:27:24,175
- Honey, at this point I'll take it any way
569
00:27:28,146 --> 00:27:30,815
and anywhere I can get it.
570
00:27:34,419 --> 00:27:36,388
(glass bangs)
571
00:27:36,421 --> 00:27:38,123
- How do you get a nun pregnant?
572
00:27:39,424 --> 00:27:40,325
- How? - You dress her up
573
00:27:40,358 --> 00:27:43,762
as an altar boy. (laughs)
574
00:27:43,795 --> 00:27:48,800
- (sighs) Mother Superior, in five, four, three, two.
575
00:27:51,236 --> 00:27:53,304
(electricity buzzing)
576
00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:58,343
(upbeat music) (Kelly coughing)
577
00:27:59,477 --> 00:28:01,946
- Welcome back from paradise, Sister Wrath.
578
00:28:01,980 --> 00:28:04,082
- Sister Wrath?
579
00:28:04,115 --> 00:28:06,217
- Yes, you've been rechristened
580
00:28:06,251 --> 00:28:07,652
now that you're the newest member
581
00:28:07,686 --> 00:28:09,921
of The Order of the Black Habit.
582
00:28:09,954 --> 00:28:12,023
- Are you ready to pass judgment
583
00:28:12,057 --> 00:28:15,126
on those who would prey on the weak and the helpless?
584
00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:16,628
- Are you willing to send the scum
585
00:28:16,661 --> 00:28:18,863
of the earth straight to hell?
586
00:28:21,366 --> 00:28:22,267
- Okey-dokey.
587
00:28:26,771 --> 00:28:27,672
- What?
588
00:28:27,706 --> 00:28:28,907
(bells ringing)
589
00:28:28,940 --> 00:28:32,110
(traffic humming)
590
00:28:32,143 --> 00:28:34,913
(brooding music)
591
00:28:36,614 --> 00:28:37,849
(button buzzes) (door whooshing)
592
00:28:37,882 --> 00:28:39,718
- First let me make some introductions.
593
00:28:39,751 --> 00:28:42,087
I'm the Mother Superior of St. Vrains.
594
00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:43,855
You may just call me Mother.
595
00:28:43,888 --> 00:28:46,791
This is my assistant, Father Sheamus O'Bannon.
596
00:28:46,825 --> 00:28:49,794
He handles logistics, blesses our weapons,
597
00:28:49,828 --> 00:28:51,596
and takes care of all the little things
598
00:28:51,629 --> 00:28:53,498
that help our convent run smoothly.
599
00:28:53,531 --> 00:28:55,934
Also Father Francis Thomas.
600
00:28:55,967 --> 00:28:58,303
He conducts weddings, takes confession,
601
00:28:58,336 --> 00:29:00,171
and also cooks our meals.
602
00:29:00,205 --> 00:29:01,272
And I believe you've already met
603
00:29:01,306 --> 00:29:03,108
some of our other initiates.
604
00:29:03,141 --> 00:29:06,478
Sisters Lust, Pride, and Gluttony.
605
00:29:06,511 --> 00:29:09,114
- These are the freaks that shot me in the alley.
606
00:29:09,147 --> 00:29:10,582
- God's will, bitch.
607
00:29:10,615 --> 00:29:11,850
- Sister Gluttony!
608
00:29:13,351 --> 00:29:15,186
It was predestination.
609
00:29:15,220 --> 00:29:17,756
You had to die in order to be reborn.
610
00:29:18,623 --> 00:29:20,625
It's, it's.
611
00:29:21,659 --> 00:29:22,794
- It's a mystery.
612
00:29:24,162 --> 00:29:25,797
- Yes, quite.
613
00:29:25,830 --> 00:29:27,031
(screen whirring)
614
00:29:27,065 --> 00:29:28,366
Now for your first mission.
615
00:29:28,399 --> 00:29:30,201
It is traditional for a nun to take care
616
00:29:30,235 --> 00:29:32,504
of the person that killed their predecessor.
617
00:29:32,537 --> 00:29:33,738
- Predecessor?
618
00:29:33,772 --> 00:29:36,107
(projector clicks) (brooding music)
619
00:29:36,141 --> 00:29:39,043
- This is, was Sister Envy.
620
00:29:40,512 --> 00:29:42,781
She was murdered while trying to take out Ricardo Corbucci,
621
00:29:42,814 --> 00:29:46,017
one of the most feared members of the Rizzo crime family.
622
00:29:46,050 --> 00:29:47,552
(projector clicks)
623
00:29:47,585 --> 00:29:49,754
For the past 10 years the Rizzo crime family
624
00:29:49,788 --> 00:29:51,156
have committed all manner of crimes
625
00:29:51,189 --> 00:29:53,191
against the people of this city.
626
00:29:53,224 --> 00:29:55,193
Their primary business is in prostitution
627
00:29:55,226 --> 00:29:57,195
and as a result they have a huge presence
628
00:29:57,228 --> 00:30:00,498
in human trafficking, narcotics, and bribery,
629
00:30:00,532 --> 00:30:01,733
and they're not afraid
630
00:30:01,766 --> 00:30:03,401
to kill any one that gets in their way.
631
00:30:03,434 --> 00:30:06,271
- Corbucci and his men take their orders
632
00:30:06,304 --> 00:30:10,275
from Louise Rizzo, aka Momma Rizzo,
633
00:30:10,308 --> 00:30:13,478
arguably the fiercest mobster on the East Coast.
634
00:30:14,879 --> 00:30:18,016
She's also, we believe responsible for the death
635
00:30:18,049 --> 00:30:20,618
of Father Jacob Michaels this week.
636
00:30:21,452 --> 00:30:22,754
(projector clicks)
637
00:30:22,787 --> 00:30:24,422
- One morning we awoke to what appeared
638
00:30:24,455 --> 00:30:26,090
to be a fresh shipment of hamburger
639
00:30:26,124 --> 00:30:28,560
on the front door of our church.
640
00:30:28,593 --> 00:30:30,428
Good thing we discovered his church ID
641
00:30:30,461 --> 00:30:33,398
while making meatballs out of him for the homeless shelter.
642
00:30:37,802 --> 00:30:39,971
Now go forth, Sister Wrath,
643
00:30:40,004 --> 00:30:41,673
load your guns with bullets
644
00:30:41,706 --> 00:30:43,975
and fill your heart with the love of the Lord.
645
00:30:50,014 --> 00:30:52,584
(camera snaps)
646
00:30:55,253 --> 00:30:58,056
(traffic humming)
647
00:31:05,330 --> 00:31:07,765
- Detective Vargas, we found these near the body.
648
00:31:10,101 --> 00:31:14,038
- Saint Christopher's medal, used to wear these as kids.
649
00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:16,741
Not a Catholic, huh?
650
00:31:16,774 --> 00:31:18,209
- No, sir, Baptist.
651
00:31:18,243 --> 00:31:21,212
- Saint Christopher carried the baby Jesus across the river,
652
00:31:21,246 --> 00:31:23,681
that's what Christopher means, Christ bearer.
653
00:31:23,715 --> 00:31:26,918
He's supposed to look over you, you know protect you.
654
00:31:26,951 --> 00:31:28,319
- Well, he didn't do such a good job
655
00:31:28,353 --> 00:31:29,654
with these stiffs, did he?
656
00:31:30,889 --> 00:31:32,891
- Unless he was protecting someone else.
657
00:31:34,058 --> 00:31:35,360
Have it checked for prints.
658
00:31:35,393 --> 00:31:37,028
- [Cop] Right away, Detective Vargas.
659
00:31:38,963 --> 00:31:40,531
- I've been trying to catch you and your buddies
660
00:31:40,565 --> 00:31:42,600
for over a year now, fuck face.
661
00:31:44,135 --> 00:31:46,871
I guess somebody up there likes me after all.
662
00:31:46,905 --> 00:31:48,740
(wind blowing)
663
00:31:48,773 --> 00:31:51,576
(leaves rustling)
664
00:31:54,846 --> 00:31:57,548
(brooding music)
665
00:32:14,766 --> 00:32:16,334
(gun clicking)
666
00:32:16,367 --> 00:32:18,870
(door creaks)
667
00:32:20,271 --> 00:32:23,308
- Sugar, you better know what you're doing in there.
668
00:32:23,341 --> 00:32:26,911
This isn't Sunday school, this is the real world.
669
00:32:26,945 --> 00:32:28,379
- I'll be fine.
670
00:32:28,413 --> 00:32:30,248
- I don't know, you look like a little girl
671
00:32:30,281 --> 00:32:31,649
from where I'm standing.
672
00:32:31,683 --> 00:32:33,151
You look like you might actually start
673
00:32:33,184 --> 00:32:35,019
to cry if there's trouble.
674
00:32:35,053 --> 00:32:36,054
- Fuck off!
675
00:32:37,422 --> 00:32:39,924
- Remember, you're not a cat,
676
00:32:39,958 --> 00:32:41,759
as a nun you only have two lives
677
00:32:41,793 --> 00:32:44,062
if you get blown away tonight then it's goodnight Irene.
678
00:32:44,095 --> 00:32:45,830
- Why are fucking riding me, bitch?
679
00:32:45,863 --> 00:32:47,665
- Because the first night I saw you in that alley
680
00:32:47,699 --> 00:32:49,200
I knew you weren't worthy
681
00:32:49,233 --> 00:32:51,102
of being a member of The Black Habit.
682
00:32:51,135 --> 00:32:52,470
You're just a pussy nun.
683
00:32:52,503 --> 00:32:53,805
(gun thudding) (funky music)
684
00:32:53,838 --> 00:32:54,906
(Sister Gluttony groaning) (foot thuds)
685
00:32:54,939 --> 00:32:57,075
(body thuds) (Sister Gluttony groans)
686
00:32:57,108 --> 00:32:59,110
(body thuds) (Sister Gluttony groans)
687
00:32:59,143 --> 00:33:00,178
- Sister Gluttony,
688
00:33:00,211 --> 00:33:01,346
(fist thuds) (Sister Gluttony groans)
689
00:33:01,379 --> 00:33:02,547
I'm gonna be the habit that breaks you.
690
00:33:03,881 --> 00:33:08,720
(fist thudding) (Sister Gluttony groaning)
691
00:33:08,753 --> 00:33:10,755
- Prepare to receive good news, jive turkey!
692
00:33:10,788 --> 00:33:13,691
(gun whooshes)
693
00:33:13,725 --> 00:33:17,295
(Sister Gluttony laughing)
694
00:33:18,863 --> 00:33:20,498
You got serious moxie, kid.
695
00:33:22,166 --> 00:33:23,735
Welcome to the club.
696
00:33:23,768 --> 00:33:26,871
(funky sultry music)
697
00:33:30,908 --> 00:33:32,343
(group chattering)
698
00:33:32,377 --> 00:33:35,279
- So I woke up for two days, my ma saw the coke,
699
00:33:35,313 --> 00:33:36,714
she snorts it.
700
00:33:36,748 --> 00:33:37,548
Ma, what you doing?
701
00:33:37,582 --> 00:33:38,383
Boom.
702
00:33:38,416 --> 00:33:39,951
(group chattering)
703
00:33:39,984 --> 00:33:41,285
- I've been living there all my life.
704
00:33:41,319 --> 00:33:42,553
You want a piece of chicken?
705
00:33:42,587 --> 00:33:43,788
- [Mobster] Yeah, all right, I'll take one.
706
00:33:43,821 --> 00:33:45,823
- Hey, it's good Italian chicken I'll tell ya.
707
00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:47,291
- You want a meatball?
708
00:33:47,325 --> 00:33:48,226
- Yeah, I want a meatball. - You want a meatball,
709
00:33:48,259 --> 00:33:50,762
here take your fuckin' meatball.
710
00:33:50,795 --> 00:33:53,931
- Mr. Corbucci, what a pleasure to see you this evening.
711
00:33:53,965 --> 00:33:55,333
Your usual table I'm sure.
712
00:33:55,366 --> 00:33:56,868
- That'll be just fine, Mario.
713
00:33:56,901 --> 00:33:58,069
Thank you.
714
00:33:58,102 --> 00:34:00,838
(group chattering)
715
00:34:00,872 --> 00:34:03,641
I see everybody's enjoying their dinner tonight.
716
00:34:03,674 --> 00:34:04,675
That's good, that's good.
717
00:34:05,743 --> 00:34:07,245
We'll eat up, huh.
718
00:34:07,278 --> 00:34:09,147
(speaks in foreign language)
719
00:34:09,180 --> 00:34:11,582
Gather your strength 'cause tomorrow,
720
00:34:13,451 --> 00:34:15,019
tomorrow we go penguin hunting.
721
00:34:16,521 --> 00:34:17,455
Yeah, you heard me.
722
00:34:18,823 --> 00:34:21,092
I want a city wide search of all the churches,
723
00:34:21,125 --> 00:34:23,361
and I wanna find out who's harboring these murderers,
724
00:34:23,394 --> 00:34:24,695
and when you find 'em,
725
00:34:24,729 --> 00:34:26,230
I want them deader than Judas.
726
00:34:31,636 --> 00:34:34,839
- Oh, Madon' I hope my mother doesn't find out about this.
727
00:34:34,872 --> 00:34:38,076
- I want those fuckin' nuns dead, dead, dead, dead!
728
00:34:39,243 --> 00:34:41,412
- [Vincent] Small potatoes, boss.
729
00:34:41,446 --> 00:34:43,481
- What are you taking about small potatoes?
730
00:34:43,514 --> 00:34:46,217
Those nuns killed some of our best men.
731
00:34:46,250 --> 00:34:48,820
- No, boss, small potatoes, I love 'em.
732
00:34:52,890 --> 00:34:55,193
- Hey, sweet cheeks, got someone to keep me
733
00:34:55,226 --> 00:34:57,662
and my friend warm for the ride home?
734
00:34:57,695 --> 00:34:58,696
(funky ominous music)
735
00:34:58,729 --> 00:35:00,298
- Sure thing, greaseball.
736
00:35:00,331 --> 00:35:01,299
(gun clicks)
737
00:35:01,332 --> 00:35:02,233
(gun bangs) (body thuds)
738
00:35:02,266 --> 00:35:04,102
- What the fuck was that?
739
00:35:04,135 --> 00:35:05,269
(gun clicks)
740
00:35:05,303 --> 00:35:06,504
(gun bangs) (Mobster screams)
741
00:35:06,537 --> 00:35:09,707
- Everyone sit down and shut the fuck up!
742
00:35:09,740 --> 00:35:14,145
Okay, everyone, this is what us nuns commonly refer
743
00:35:14,178 --> 00:35:17,115
to as a come to Jesus meeting.
744
00:35:17,148 --> 00:35:20,351
In other words we are gonna find out who's been naughty
745
00:35:21,486 --> 00:35:22,720
and who's been nice.
746
00:35:24,222 --> 00:35:26,858
Bruno Cozzi, the church finds you guilty
747
00:35:26,891 --> 00:35:30,261
of the sins of extortion, murder, and drug trafficking.
748
00:35:31,295 --> 00:35:32,930
How do you plead?
749
00:35:32,964 --> 00:35:35,233
- Uh, uh, uh, I'm innocent.
750
00:35:36,734 --> 00:35:38,236
I was framed.
751
00:35:38,269 --> 00:35:39,237
- Wrong answer.
752
00:35:39,270 --> 00:35:40,204
(gun clicks) (gun bangs)
753
00:35:40,238 --> 00:35:43,207
(screen whooshes)
754
00:35:43,241 --> 00:35:44,542
- [Richie] What's going in there?
755
00:35:44,575 --> 00:35:46,110
- There's a really pissed off nun in there
756
00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:47,812
inflicting a righteous judgment.
757
00:35:47,845 --> 00:35:48,980
(gun whooshes)
758
00:35:49,013 --> 00:35:51,782
- Lucio Bavo, the church finds you guilty
759
00:35:51,816 --> 00:35:54,118
of the sins of murder, racketeering,
760
00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:57,588
and child pornography, you sick fuck.
761
00:35:57,622 --> 00:35:59,290
How do you plead?
762
00:35:59,323 --> 00:36:01,759
- I demand the right to speak to an attorney.
763
00:36:01,792 --> 00:36:03,194
- Sure thing. (gun clicks)
764
00:36:03,227 --> 00:36:04,929
You'll find plenty of 'em in hell.
765
00:36:04,962 --> 00:36:05,796
- Lucio!
766
00:36:07,932 --> 00:36:10,201
- I told him to stay away from the child porn.
767
00:36:10,234 --> 00:36:11,335
- Okay, here's the fuckin' plan.
768
00:36:11,369 --> 00:36:12,803
- Guilty! - Vincent, Paulie,
769
00:36:12,837 --> 00:36:14,539
you guys go to the rear and call for backup.
770
00:36:14,572 --> 00:36:15,373
- Guilty. - What,
771
00:36:15,406 --> 00:36:16,607
what should I do, boss?
772
00:36:16,641 --> 00:36:17,909
- You're gonna kill that fuckin' nun.
773
00:36:17,942 --> 00:36:19,010
- Okay.
774
00:36:19,043 --> 00:36:20,278
What?
775
00:36:20,311 --> 00:36:22,180
- Now I know you might all think
776
00:36:22,213 --> 00:36:24,715
that I have a bit of temper problem
777
00:36:24,749 --> 00:36:27,285
but there's just something about mobsters
778
00:36:27,318 --> 00:36:30,621
that really cheeses me off.
779
00:36:30,655 --> 00:36:32,223
(glass shattering)
780
00:36:32,256 --> 00:36:34,458
- They don't call me Lucky for nothing.
781
00:36:34,492 --> 00:36:35,927
(Kelly whooshes)
782
00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:37,962
- You're so unlucky that you could fall into a barrel
783
00:36:37,995 --> 00:36:40,364
of tits and come out sucking your thumb.
784
00:36:40,398 --> 00:36:42,033
- [Lucky] Oh, no. (screams)
785
00:36:42,066 --> 00:36:43,067
My hand.
786
00:36:43,100 --> 00:36:43,968
- She'll be fine.
787
00:36:44,001 --> 00:36:46,771
(Lucky groaning)
788
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:50,241
- If any of you could tell me
789
00:36:50,274 --> 00:36:52,610
where I could find Richie Corbucci,
790
00:36:53,544 --> 00:36:55,413
I just might let you go back
791
00:36:55,446 --> 00:36:58,516
to finishing your overpriced chicken cacciatore.
792
00:36:58,549 --> 00:36:59,450
- Hey, penguin.
793
00:36:59,483 --> 00:37:01,852
(gun bangs) (group yelling)
794
00:37:01,886 --> 00:37:04,388
(gun bangs)
795
00:37:04,422 --> 00:37:08,059
Hey, hey, hey, hey, calm down, huh, no hard feelings.
796
00:37:08,092 --> 00:37:11,529
I'll tell you what, I swear on my grandmother's eyes,
797
00:37:11,562 --> 00:37:13,164
you put that gun down
798
00:37:13,197 --> 00:37:15,666
I'll let you walk out of here alive.
799
00:37:15,700 --> 00:37:17,935
- Well, I bet she won't see this coming.
800
00:37:17,969 --> 00:37:18,769
(gun bangs) (Richie yelling)
801
00:37:18,803 --> 00:37:21,305
(table thuds)
802
00:37:29,747 --> 00:37:31,983
- Oh, thank god, I'm alive.
803
00:37:32,850 --> 00:37:34,385
Holy shit!
804
00:37:34,418 --> 00:37:35,253
- Get in.
805
00:37:37,722 --> 00:37:40,491
(car door bangs)
806
00:37:43,294 --> 00:37:44,195
(car door bangs)
807
00:37:44,228 --> 00:37:45,429
Are you hurt, are you okay?
808
00:37:45,463 --> 00:37:47,164
- No, I'm fine, hardly a scratch.
809
00:37:47,198 --> 00:37:48,366
- And?
810
00:37:48,399 --> 00:37:50,968
- Dead, they're all dead, Corbucci included.
811
00:37:51,002 --> 00:37:53,204
- Well, well, I think this calls for a celebration.
812
00:37:53,237 --> 00:37:54,105
(cork pops)
813
00:37:54,138 --> 00:37:55,940
(group cheering)
814
00:37:55,973 --> 00:37:57,742
- Ooh, oh, baby.
815
00:37:57,775 --> 00:37:59,243
- Ooh.
816
00:37:59,277 --> 00:38:00,611
- That was nice.
817
00:38:00,645 --> 00:38:02,513
(group laughing)
818
00:38:02,546 --> 00:38:04,315
Now who wants some?
819
00:38:04,348 --> 00:38:07,585
(Sister Lust laughing)
820
00:38:09,987 --> 00:38:10,955
- I'm gonna feel it in the morning
821
00:38:10,988 --> 00:38:12,590
but it's always worth it.
822
00:38:12,623 --> 00:38:13,858
(group laughing)
823
00:38:13,891 --> 00:38:16,193
- What the bubbly or the bottle?
824
00:38:16,227 --> 00:38:19,830
- Well, both if you're doing it right. (laughing)
825
00:38:19,864 --> 00:38:22,600
(group laughing)
826
00:38:23,701 --> 00:38:25,403
- Well, you can't have it.
827
00:38:25,436 --> 00:38:29,140
It's my party so I get the bottle if I want it.
828
00:38:29,173 --> 00:38:31,542
(group laughing)
829
00:38:31,575 --> 00:38:33,277
- Then you can have it.
830
00:38:33,311 --> 00:38:34,979
- What, I'm willing to share.
831
00:38:35,012 --> 00:38:35,846
- Ooh.
832
00:38:37,882 --> 00:38:40,184
(group laughing)
833
00:38:40,217 --> 00:38:43,087
- Father Thomas, are you peeping?
834
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:48,125
- Uh, no, no, um, uh, I was just uh, polishing the knob.
835
00:38:48,859 --> 00:38:50,394
(group chuckling)
836
00:38:50,428 --> 00:38:53,964
The, the doorknob 'cause it, it was, it was dusty.
837
00:38:53,998 --> 00:38:57,635
- Well, Father, anytime you wanna taste the forbidden fruit
838
00:39:01,205 --> 00:39:03,874
you know which door to knock on.
839
00:39:07,044 --> 00:39:08,946
- Oh, dear Lord help me.
840
00:39:08,979 --> 00:39:09,780
(door bangs)
841
00:39:09,814 --> 00:39:11,882
(group laughing)
842
00:39:11,916 --> 00:39:13,050
- [Cop] Let's get three of 'em down there
843
00:39:13,084 --> 00:39:14,552
and get all those people-
844
00:39:14,585 --> 00:39:16,253
- [Cop 2] Captain, we got one more possible witness here.
845
00:39:16,287 --> 00:39:17,455
- Here? - Yeah.
846
00:39:17,488 --> 00:39:18,456
- Okay. - Those people stay in back.
847
00:39:18,489 --> 00:39:19,724
Make sure you get a name.
848
00:39:21,592 --> 00:39:23,794
- Someone wasn't very happy with their bill.
849
00:39:25,229 --> 00:39:27,231
- We got 10 stiffs in total all from the Rizzo family.
850
00:39:27,264 --> 00:39:29,100
Two of 'em are gonna be a bitch to identify.
851
00:39:29,133 --> 00:39:30,668
- Why is that, Sam?
852
00:39:30,701 --> 00:39:32,002
- Well, how do use dental records
853
00:39:32,036 --> 00:39:33,504
when their heads are blown off?
854
00:39:33,537 --> 00:39:36,073
- I told you this case was gonna be like pulling teeth.
855
00:39:40,211 --> 00:39:42,179
- We found him hiding in the upright freezer
856
00:39:42,213 --> 00:39:43,347
near the rib roast.
857
00:39:43,381 --> 00:39:45,449
He says, "His name name is Mario Dematto."
858
00:39:46,884 --> 00:39:48,753
- Hey, Mario, be a pal will you,
859
00:39:48,786 --> 00:39:50,087
tell us who did this,
860
00:39:50,121 --> 00:39:51,021
otherwise I'm gonna have to stick
861
00:39:51,055 --> 00:39:52,490
you back in the freezer, okay.
862
00:39:54,825 --> 00:39:56,761
Come on, you can do it.
863
00:39:56,794 --> 00:39:59,830
(Mario whimpering)
864
00:39:59,864 --> 00:40:00,998
Come on, let it out.
865
00:40:02,166 --> 00:40:04,535
Come on, we get paid by the hour now, come on.
866
00:40:04,568 --> 00:40:07,805
(Mario whimpering)
867
00:40:07,838 --> 00:40:10,541
That's it, sweetheart, come on, let it out.
868
00:40:10,574 --> 00:40:11,409
- Nun!
869
00:40:19,784 --> 00:40:20,951
- What's the good word, Vargas?
870
00:40:20,985 --> 00:40:22,219
- Well, it looks like what we have here
871
00:40:22,253 --> 00:40:24,555
is a psychopathic vigilante nun
872
00:40:24,588 --> 00:40:28,592
armed with a 12 gauge shotgun on savage murder spree.
873
00:40:28,626 --> 00:40:30,528
- You know that's just the kind of story the press
874
00:40:30,561 --> 00:40:32,663
is gonna love to blow out of proportion.
875
00:40:33,597 --> 00:40:35,099
- What?
876
00:40:35,132 --> 00:40:36,567
What?
877
00:40:36,600 --> 00:40:39,503
You just let another nun stroll into one of our businesses
878
00:40:39,537 --> 00:40:41,405
and whack half my best men.
879
00:40:41,439 --> 00:40:42,640
(Richie groaning)
880
00:40:42,673 --> 00:40:45,476
- Got a arm full of balls here, kid.
881
00:40:45,509 --> 00:40:48,245
- What have you gone all faggoty on me, Richie, is that it?
882
00:40:48,279 --> 00:40:49,513
- Hold still, Richie.
883
00:40:49,547 --> 00:40:50,381
(flesh tearing)
884
00:40:50,414 --> 00:40:52,483
(Richie groans)
885
00:40:52,516 --> 00:40:54,785
- No, Momma, it's not like that.
886
00:40:54,819 --> 00:40:57,455
It's just that, you know.
887
00:40:57,488 --> 00:40:58,923
- What do I know?
888
00:40:58,956 --> 00:41:01,992
The only thing I know is I gotta replace all these stiffs,
889
00:41:02,026 --> 00:41:04,595
and if you don't start showing me some results
890
00:41:04,628 --> 00:41:07,832
fuckin' pronto, you'll get replaced to.
891
00:41:07,865 --> 00:41:10,301
Now what's the goddamn problem, Richie?
892
00:41:10,334 --> 00:41:12,703
- The problem is, is that they're nuns.
893
00:41:13,838 --> 00:41:17,541
Every time they show up my boys they freeze.
894
00:41:17,575 --> 00:41:19,109
They think that if they kill nun
895
00:41:19,143 --> 00:41:21,045
they'll go straight to hell. (groaning)
896
00:41:21,078 --> 00:41:21,912
- Come on.
897
00:41:22,813 --> 00:41:23,848
- Or worse.
898
00:41:23,881 --> 00:41:25,950
- Are you fuckin' kidding me?
899
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:32,256
You kill who I order you to kill.
900
00:41:33,624 --> 00:41:36,827
I don't give a shit if they're nuns, Mother Teresa
901
00:41:36,861 --> 00:41:39,930
or Pope John Paul I for fuck sake.
902
00:41:39,964 --> 00:41:42,566
- Momma, Pope John Paul I is already dead.
903
00:41:43,601 --> 00:41:46,103
- Shut up, I know that.
904
00:41:46,136 --> 00:41:47,671
Don't you think I know that?
905
00:41:47,705 --> 00:41:49,607
I was speaking metaphorically.
906
00:41:49,640 --> 00:41:52,977
Just look at what they did to my poor boy.
907
00:41:53,010 --> 00:41:55,513
Now I'm gonna have to go back to wiping his fanny again
908
00:41:55,546 --> 00:41:56,881
like when he was six.
909
00:41:56,914 --> 00:42:00,985
- Momma, jeez, not in front of the guys.
910
00:42:02,253 --> 00:42:04,221
- Momma, I don't mean any disrespect
911
00:42:05,689 --> 00:42:07,091
but why you hate nuns so much?
912
00:42:07,124 --> 00:42:09,994
(pensive music)
913
00:42:10,027 --> 00:42:14,999
- Well, years ago before I became the most feared mom boss
914
00:42:15,032 --> 00:42:20,037
in all of New England, I, I wanted to be a nun.
915
00:42:20,638 --> 00:42:21,605
(Paulie laughs)
916
00:42:21,639 --> 00:42:22,406
(cucumber thuds) (Paulie groans)
917
00:42:22,439 --> 00:42:24,375
Shut up shit stain,
918
00:42:24,408 --> 00:42:26,744
I'm tellin' an emotional story over here.
919
00:42:28,045 --> 00:42:29,480
- I'm sorry, Momma.
920
00:42:29,513 --> 00:42:32,516
- Well, those twittering little twats down at the convent
921
00:42:32,550 --> 00:42:35,386
they said, "I was too uncouth for the sisterhood."
922
00:42:35,419 --> 00:42:38,255
You believe that happy horse shit?
923
00:42:38,289 --> 00:42:39,924
- I'm overwhelmed with incredulity.
924
00:42:39,957 --> 00:42:43,561
- Me too, uncouth my balls.
925
00:42:43,594 --> 00:42:47,097
Well, when they wouldn't let me pledge myself to God,
926
00:42:47,131 --> 00:42:49,533
I sold my soul to the Devil
927
00:42:49,567 --> 00:42:53,871
for wealth, and power, and beauty.
928
00:42:53,904 --> 00:42:58,642
And now to honor Satan I help him by damming those souls.
929
00:42:58,676 --> 00:43:00,511
I provide people with vices
930
00:43:00,544 --> 00:43:05,516
like drugs, and alcohol and gambling, and whores.
931
00:43:06,383 --> 00:43:09,320
- Momma, you feeling all right?
932
00:43:09,353 --> 00:43:12,122
(Momma laughing)
933
00:43:13,123 --> 00:43:15,392
- You think I'm crazy don't you?
934
00:43:15,426 --> 00:43:17,595
Well, I'll show you who's crazy.
935
00:43:17,628 --> 00:43:20,698
I have a solution to our little problem.
936
00:43:20,731 --> 00:43:24,835
A killer who doesn't fear anyone not even the clergy.
937
00:43:26,637 --> 00:43:29,273
(traffic humming)
938
00:43:29,306 --> 00:43:30,140
(fist thudding)
939
00:43:30,174 --> 00:43:32,776
(Lou groaning)
940
00:43:36,947 --> 00:43:37,748
(fist thuds) (Viper groans)
941
00:43:37,781 --> 00:43:38,616
(fist thuds)
942
00:43:38,649 --> 00:43:39,984
- Oh, the jew-manity.
943
00:43:41,986 --> 00:43:44,722
(Viper grunting)
944
00:43:46,490 --> 00:43:47,891
(fist thuds)
945
00:43:47,925 --> 00:43:49,193
- Viper, you got a call.
946
00:43:52,062 --> 00:43:54,465
(body thuds)
947
00:43:57,234 --> 00:43:59,036
- This better be good.
948
00:44:01,138 --> 00:44:03,874
All right, I'll be there in a half hour.
949
00:44:03,907 --> 00:44:06,043
(phone clicks)
950
00:44:06,076 --> 00:44:07,878
- Jeez, Viper, Lou's dead.
951
00:44:07,911 --> 00:44:10,648
- He was dead the minute he stepped in the ring with me.
952
00:44:10,681 --> 00:44:14,118
(brooding klezmer music)
953
00:44:16,253 --> 00:44:19,690
- Momma, I don't mean any disrespect
954
00:44:20,691 --> 00:44:22,159
but I don't feel too comfortable
955
00:44:22,192 --> 00:44:25,062
about bringing an outsider down here to do our job.
956
00:44:25,095 --> 00:44:26,797
I mean I got a reputation to uphold
957
00:44:26,830 --> 00:44:28,565
and the boys they look up at me.
958
00:44:29,433 --> 00:44:31,035
- Lucky, get the door.
959
00:44:32,369 --> 00:44:36,240
- Ma, come on, look at me.
960
00:44:50,454 --> 00:44:51,922
(door clicks)
961
00:44:51,955 --> 00:44:53,390
(door bangs)
962
00:44:53,424 --> 00:44:56,860
(brooding klezmer music)
963
00:45:00,764 --> 00:45:01,799
Who the hell are you?
964
00:45:03,233 --> 00:45:06,570
Listen, the Silverbird bar mitzvah two doors over.
965
00:45:06,603 --> 00:45:09,707
So uh, why don't you take it on the heels, okay?
966
00:45:11,875 --> 00:45:14,845
Look, jew boy, why don't you take that hook nose of yours
967
00:45:14,878 --> 00:45:15,779
and get the hell.
968
00:45:15,813 --> 00:45:20,150
(fist thuds) (Lucky groaning)
969
00:45:20,184 --> 00:45:22,953
(hands clapping)
970
00:45:27,758 --> 00:45:31,562
- Well, I haven't seen you since Christ was a cowboy.
971
00:45:31,595 --> 00:45:33,530
Richie, let me introduce you
972
00:45:33,564 --> 00:45:36,800
to Viper Goldstein, the murderist mohel.
973
00:45:38,168 --> 00:45:41,071
He once wiped out a whole gang in an afternoon
974
00:45:41,105 --> 00:45:44,675
and still made it home on time for an evening bris.
975
00:45:44,708 --> 00:45:47,411
Viper, say hello to the boys.
976
00:45:48,245 --> 00:45:50,247
- Shalom, scumbags.
977
00:45:52,483 --> 00:45:55,052
- So Viper, do you think you can help rid us
978
00:45:55,085 --> 00:45:56,687
of our little problem?
979
00:45:56,720 --> 00:46:00,591
- Sure, and this week I'm running a special,
980
00:46:00,624 --> 00:46:05,596
5,000 for priest, 10,000 for bishops, and 1,000 for nuns.
981
00:46:07,397 --> 00:46:08,599
- Why so cheap for nuns?
982
00:46:09,767 --> 00:46:11,802
- I like killing nuns.
983
00:46:11,835 --> 00:46:14,271
- Ma, you can't just let some Hebrew hard-on
984
00:46:14,304 --> 00:46:17,341
walk in here and take over our operation.
985
00:46:17,374 --> 00:46:18,942
- And why not?
986
00:46:18,976 --> 00:46:21,812
- Because his people killed Christ.
987
00:46:21,845 --> 00:46:24,515
(ominous music)
988
00:46:27,317 --> 00:46:28,118
(blades whoosh)
989
00:46:28,152 --> 00:46:28,952
(hat whooshes)
990
00:46:28,986 --> 00:46:31,555
(head thuds)
991
00:46:31,588 --> 00:46:34,958
- Well, do you have anything you'd like to add to this?
992
00:46:34,992 --> 00:46:38,529
- His fighting style's uh unorthodox.
993
00:46:38,562 --> 00:46:41,598
(ominous klezmer music) (Viper laughing)
994
00:46:41,632 --> 00:46:44,368
(hands clapping)
995
00:46:45,202 --> 00:46:47,971
(Momma laughing)
996
00:46:49,640 --> 00:46:51,241
(Lucky groaning)
997
00:46:51,275 --> 00:46:52,376
(Momma laughing)
998
00:46:52,409 --> 00:46:55,179
(Viper laughing)
999
00:46:56,280 --> 00:46:57,915
(traffic humming)
1000
00:46:57,948 --> 00:46:59,917
- Now I lay me down to sleep,
1001
00:46:59,950 --> 00:47:02,286
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
1002
00:47:02,319 --> 00:47:06,456
if I die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take.
1003
00:47:06,490 --> 00:47:10,460
God bless Mother Superior, Father O'Bannon, the Sisters,
1004
00:47:10,494 --> 00:47:13,397
Smith & Wesson, President Jimmy Carter,
1005
00:47:13,430 --> 00:47:15,299
whoever invented beer.
1006
00:47:21,705 --> 00:47:23,273
- Are you asleep, Sister Wrath?
1007
00:47:25,876 --> 00:47:26,710
- No.
1008
00:47:27,845 --> 00:47:28,979
You can call me Kelly.
1009
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:31,748
- You can call me Jenna.
1010
00:47:33,383 --> 00:47:35,819
Kelly, can I ask you a question?
1011
00:47:35,853 --> 00:47:36,687
- Sure.
1012
00:47:37,921 --> 00:47:39,623
- Why did you join the sisterhood?
1013
00:47:40,824 --> 00:47:42,626
- Well, I'm an orphan.
1014
00:47:47,130 --> 00:47:47,965
- Sorry.
1015
00:47:49,132 --> 00:47:50,701
What happened to your parents?
1016
00:47:50,734 --> 00:47:54,004
(gentle pensive music)
1017
00:47:58,342 --> 00:47:59,509
- My dad was a cop working
1018
00:47:59,543 --> 00:48:02,613
on a case involving the Falsto crime family.
1019
00:48:02,646 --> 00:48:04,948
- I think I've heard of them.
1020
00:48:04,982 --> 00:48:07,150
Didn't they- - When I was 12
1021
00:48:08,318 --> 00:48:09,553
I woke up to the sound of gunshots
1022
00:48:09,586 --> 00:48:10,988
coming from the living room.
1023
00:48:12,189 --> 00:48:13,490
I just thought it was the TV,
1024
00:48:13,523 --> 00:48:17,661
so I ran down there, and I saw my parents
1025
00:48:17,694 --> 00:48:20,797
being shot to death by a mafia hitman.
1026
00:48:20,831 --> 00:48:22,199
- What did you do?
1027
00:48:22,232 --> 00:48:24,067
- What could I do?
1028
00:48:24,101 --> 00:48:25,669
I hid as fast as I could.
1029
00:48:26,870 --> 00:48:31,842
Took everything I had not to scream or cry,
1030
00:48:34,311 --> 00:48:38,982
but I saw them, I saw them die.
1031
00:48:40,350 --> 00:48:42,319
- Kelly, I'm sorry.
1032
00:48:44,221 --> 00:48:46,223
- After that I was sent to an orphanage.
1033
00:48:47,524 --> 00:48:48,525
It was seeing the Sisters there
1034
00:48:48,558 --> 00:48:50,160
that made me wanna become a nun.
1035
00:48:51,695 --> 00:48:55,832
When I made my vows to God I made another vow
1036
00:48:55,866 --> 00:48:57,301
and this one to myself.
1037
00:48:58,769 --> 00:49:02,139
I vowed to exterminate every single member
1038
00:49:02,172 --> 00:49:03,607
of the Falsto crime family
1039
00:49:03,640 --> 00:49:06,443
for what they did to my family.
1040
00:49:06,476 --> 00:49:08,445
- Oh, my god that was you.
1041
00:49:09,713 --> 00:49:12,082
- Yeah, that was me.
1042
00:49:15,886 --> 00:49:17,254
So why'd you become a nun?
1043
00:49:17,287 --> 00:49:21,858
- Well, my story's not as colorful as yours.
1044
00:49:21,892 --> 00:49:23,593
My parents sent me to a convent.
1045
00:49:24,461 --> 00:49:25,395
- Why?
1046
00:49:25,429 --> 00:49:27,931
- Well, I was different.
1047
00:49:28,899 --> 00:49:29,866
- Different?
1048
00:49:29,900 --> 00:49:30,968
Different like how?
1049
00:49:31,001 --> 00:49:33,270
- (laughs) I like girls.
1050
00:49:33,303 --> 00:49:34,304
- Well, who doesn't?
1051
00:49:36,940 --> 00:49:38,075
- I like girls a lot.
1052
00:49:40,077 --> 00:49:42,079
- Oh. (laughs)
1053
00:49:45,549 --> 00:49:46,583
There's room for two.
1054
00:49:46,616 --> 00:49:49,186
(sultry music)
1055
00:50:10,040 --> 00:50:11,208
What?
1056
00:50:11,241 --> 00:50:13,310
- Do you really wanna have sex this way?
1057
00:50:14,711 --> 00:50:16,613
- I thought that's how you were suppose to do it.
1058
00:50:17,814 --> 00:50:20,150
- Let me show you how we have sex in the convent.
1059
00:50:21,151 --> 00:50:21,985
Eat me!
1060
00:50:23,587 --> 00:50:24,921
Lick me up like a dog!
1061
00:50:27,124 --> 00:50:30,961
(Sister Pride moaning)
1062
00:50:30,994 --> 00:50:34,831
- Dear Lord, it's your humble servant Sister Lust.
1063
00:50:34,865 --> 00:50:37,334
Now I don't ask for much from you Lord,
1064
00:50:37,367 --> 00:50:40,904
but can you please send me some cock pronto.
1065
00:50:40,937 --> 00:50:44,841
White cock, brown cock, yellow cock, it doesn't matter.
1066
00:50:44,875 --> 00:50:48,045
Five inches, six inches,
1067
00:50:48,078 --> 00:50:51,715
I don't need some John Holmes motherfucker to be happy.
1068
00:50:51,748 --> 00:50:55,185
Now every day I risk my ass for you Lord,
1069
00:50:55,218 --> 00:50:57,788
at least you could so is give me something to put in it.
1070
00:51:01,691 --> 00:51:04,361
(wood creaking)
1071
00:51:16,473 --> 00:51:21,478
(body thuds) (Momma groans)
1072
00:51:24,681 --> 00:51:27,617
(Momma sighs)
1073
00:51:27,651 --> 00:51:29,786
- It's not easy being the boss.
1074
00:51:29,820 --> 00:51:32,622
(ominous funky music)
1075
00:51:32,656 --> 00:51:34,458
- Tell me about it.
1076
00:51:34,491 --> 00:51:35,392
Hey there, Momma.
1077
00:51:36,326 --> 00:51:38,929
Sounding a little tense.
1078
00:51:38,962 --> 00:51:39,763
- Oh, it's you.
1079
00:51:40,864 --> 00:51:42,766
You had me worried.
1080
00:51:42,799 --> 00:51:45,368
- Oh, there's nothing to be worried about darling.
1081
00:51:45,402 --> 00:51:48,305
Listen, why don't you let me rub
1082
00:51:48,338 --> 00:51:50,607
some of that tension out of you, huh?
1083
00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:53,510
(thunder crashing)
1084
00:51:54,678 --> 00:51:55,545
- Oh, that's good.
1085
00:51:57,514 --> 00:52:00,150
It's those fucking nuns again.
1086
00:52:00,183 --> 00:52:03,019
(sighs) You know the story.
1087
00:52:03,053 --> 00:52:05,989
But I got someone to help out.
1088
00:52:07,124 --> 00:52:10,127
You're gonna like him, nice Jewish boy.
1089
00:52:12,062 --> 00:52:14,598
- Oh, that'd be Viper Goldstein, yeah.
1090
00:52:15,599 --> 00:52:17,033
He's good in a pinch.
1091
00:52:18,235 --> 00:52:22,506
His organization hasn't changed with the times.
1092
00:52:22,539 --> 00:52:25,775
Nuns nowadays use automatic weapons.
1093
00:52:25,809 --> 00:52:30,213
They'd grind him up into Hebrew National Sausage tout suite,
1094
00:52:30,247 --> 00:52:32,916
unless you catch 'em when they least expect it.
1095
00:52:34,117 --> 00:52:37,020
Send him to Barnun tonight,
1096
00:52:37,053 --> 00:52:39,156
you'll get the results you're looking for.
1097
00:52:40,457 --> 00:52:42,926
- But how will we know they'll be there,
1098
00:52:44,094 --> 00:52:47,297
Lord of the Flies, my Prince of Darkness?
1099
00:52:47,330 --> 00:52:51,067
- (laughs) No need for formals, baby,
1100
00:52:52,102 --> 00:52:54,771
we go way back you and I.
1101
00:52:54,804 --> 00:52:59,776
Call me Samael or Sammy, it's easier on the tongue.
1102
00:53:04,247 --> 00:53:09,252
- Okay, Sammy, but how will we make this happen?
1103
00:53:10,754 --> 00:53:15,659
- (chuckles) Don't worry your pretty little head about that.
1104
00:53:16,860 --> 00:53:19,963
I've got a contact on the inside,
1105
00:53:19,996 --> 00:53:24,568
everything's gonna be perfect, just perfect.
1106
00:53:26,069 --> 00:53:27,637
- Someone on the inside.
1107
00:53:28,805 --> 00:53:30,240
What is it you're not telling me?
1108
00:53:31,608 --> 00:53:33,043
- Don't you worry about that.
1109
00:53:41,585 --> 00:53:43,453
Have I ever led you astray?
1110
00:53:43,486 --> 00:53:45,822
(fire roaring)
1111
00:53:45,855 --> 00:53:48,024
(thunder rumbling)
1112
00:53:48,058 --> 00:53:53,063
- What a man, what a man. (exhales)
1113
00:53:57,601 --> 00:54:00,737
- Mother Superior is on retreat for a couple days,
1114
00:54:00,770 --> 00:54:01,972
(brooding music)
1115
00:54:02,005 --> 00:54:04,674
so she has asked me to do the briefing
1116
00:54:04,708 --> 00:54:05,875
for your next mission.
1117
00:54:05,909 --> 00:54:09,045
- Father O'Bannon, no disrespect,
1118
00:54:10,413 --> 00:54:13,149
but we only take our orders from Mother Superior.
1119
00:54:13,183 --> 00:54:14,918
This is totally against protocol.
1120
00:54:14,951 --> 00:54:17,020
- These orders come down directly
1121
00:54:17,053 --> 00:54:19,256
from the Vatican, Sister Gluttony,
1122
00:54:19,289 --> 00:54:22,659
so if you don't mind we'll continue.
1123
00:54:22,692 --> 00:54:24,761
It's come to church's attention
1124
00:54:24,794 --> 00:54:27,097
that a group of rogue nuns
1125
00:54:27,130 --> 00:54:31,201
has established a terrorist stronghold at this night club.
1126
00:54:33,970 --> 00:54:36,339
It's the Vatican's belief that they're looking
1127
00:54:36,373 --> 00:54:39,809
to overthrow Holy Mother Church,
1128
00:54:39,843 --> 00:54:44,080
and begin a new order based on pre-Vatican II doctrine.
1129
00:54:44,114 --> 00:54:47,150
We cannot allow this to happen.
1130
00:54:48,885 --> 00:54:50,153
You're to go there tonight,
1131
00:54:50,186 --> 00:54:53,123
gather as much information as you can,
1132
00:54:53,156 --> 00:54:55,125
return for a debriefing,
1133
00:54:55,158 --> 00:54:57,460
so the intelligence can be relayed to Rome
1134
00:54:57,494 --> 00:54:58,495
as soon as possible.
1135
00:54:59,763 --> 00:55:02,599
- Well, do we have a contact at the club?
1136
00:55:02,632 --> 00:55:04,100
Are we looking for any one specific?
1137
00:55:04,134 --> 00:55:05,468
I mean if they're actually terrorist-
1138
00:55:05,502 --> 00:55:07,837
- No questions, Sister Wrath.
1139
00:55:08,838 --> 00:55:10,440
Much like the Bible itself
1140
00:55:11,608 --> 00:55:13,643
some things must be taken on faith.
1141
00:55:13,677 --> 00:55:15,045
(gun clicks)
1142
00:55:15,078 --> 00:55:17,647
- Taking orders from a man I feel so dirty.
1143
00:55:18,648 --> 00:55:20,083
- Well, whatever's going on
1144
00:55:20,116 --> 00:55:23,086
let's keep an eye out for each other tonight.
1145
00:55:23,119 --> 00:55:23,920
(funky suspenseful music) (gun banging)
1146
00:55:23,953 --> 00:55:26,623
(group yelling)
1147
00:55:48,011 --> 00:55:49,145
- Password, bitches.
1148
00:55:52,682 --> 00:55:57,554
♪ What a friend we have in Jesus ♪
1149
00:55:57,587 --> 00:56:00,256
Ah, that's enough of that shit, welcome to Barnun.
1150
00:56:00,290 --> 00:56:01,725
(glass shattering) (country music)
1151
00:56:01,758 --> 00:56:04,594
- Give me back my rosary beads you whore.
1152
00:56:04,627 --> 00:56:05,995
- Come and get 'em, Sister.
1153
00:56:06,029 --> 00:56:08,431
It's not my first time at the rodeo.
1154
00:56:08,465 --> 00:56:11,568
(Nun retching)
1155
00:56:11,601 --> 00:56:13,703
♪ Country singing from their souls ♪
1156
00:56:13,737 --> 00:56:15,438
(door clicks) (Nun groans)
1157
00:56:15,472 --> 00:56:18,041
♪ They wrote songs about drinking ♪
1158
00:56:18,074 --> 00:56:21,611
♪ Fornicating, fighting, and sin ♪
1159
00:56:21,644 --> 00:56:23,780
- Whoo hoo, slug her.
1160
00:56:23,813 --> 00:56:24,748
Hit that bitch.
1161
00:56:24,781 --> 00:56:28,218
♪ Now that sounds legit to me ♪
1162
00:56:28,251 --> 00:56:29,052
♪ Oh ♪
1163
00:56:29,085 --> 00:56:31,755
(ominous music)
1164
00:56:32,689 --> 00:56:35,625
(woman vocalizing)
1165
00:56:40,697 --> 00:56:43,600
- You weren't expected back until late.
1166
00:56:44,934 --> 00:56:46,269
- What is the meaning of this?
1167
00:56:46,302 --> 00:56:49,472
- Oh, it's a mystery.
1168
00:56:49,506 --> 00:56:51,074
(gun bangs) (phone ringing)
1169
00:56:51,107 --> 00:56:52,976
- Homicide, Vargas.
1170
00:56:53,009 --> 00:56:55,111
Hey, how are you? (chuckles)
1171
00:56:55,145 --> 00:56:57,347
I told you not to call me here.
1172
00:56:57,380 --> 00:56:58,214
Yeah, it's okay.
1173
00:56:58,248 --> 00:56:59,416
How are ya?
1174
00:56:59,449 --> 00:57:00,884
Yeah, yeah, I'd like to get together,
1175
00:57:00,917 --> 00:57:03,119
do that, that thing on top of the washer machine.
1176
00:57:03,153 --> 00:57:04,354
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1177
00:57:04,387 --> 00:57:05,989
Wear that outfit I got ya, okay?
1178
00:57:06,022 --> 00:57:07,157
Yeah, all right.
1179
00:57:07,190 --> 00:57:08,658
Yeah, yeah, hold on a minute.
1180
00:57:08,691 --> 00:57:09,859
Larry. - Yeah.
1181
00:57:09,893 --> 00:57:10,927
- Your wife on three.
1182
00:57:15,365 --> 00:57:17,667
- (groans) Sweet mother of pearl,
1183
00:57:18,868 --> 00:57:19,769
this coffee taste like it was brewed
1184
00:57:19,803 --> 00:57:21,538
in my grandmother's enema bag.
1185
00:57:21,571 --> 00:57:24,040
- I've had your grandmother's enema bag blend,
1186
00:57:24,073 --> 00:57:24,941
it's smoother.
1187
00:57:27,110 --> 00:57:28,478
What do you got for me?
1188
00:57:28,511 --> 00:57:30,113
- We got a positive fingerprint ID
1189
00:57:30,146 --> 00:57:32,482
on the Saint Christopher medal, Detective Vargas.
1190
00:57:32,515 --> 00:57:34,918
Her name is Sister Kelly Johnson,
1191
00:57:34,951 --> 00:57:37,587
22-years-old, clean record.
1192
00:57:37,620 --> 00:57:39,589
- What are the chances that she's the killer?
1193
00:57:39,622 --> 00:57:41,057
- None.
1194
00:57:41,090 --> 00:57:42,926
♪ Take a little time against a complicated mind ♪
1195
00:57:42,959 --> 00:57:45,228
- Damn, you have a problem.
1196
00:57:46,696 --> 00:57:49,966
- The only problem I have is that I'm out of lime wedges.
1197
00:57:50,967 --> 00:57:52,402
(fist thudding) (Nun groaning)
1198
00:57:52,435 --> 00:57:54,637
- All right, girls, let's get down to business.
1199
00:57:56,039 --> 00:57:58,475
Sister Gluttony, Sister Lust, you two sweep the bar,
1200
00:57:58,508 --> 00:58:00,076
see if you find any suspicious.
1201
00:58:01,244 --> 00:58:02,812
Sister Pride and I will work the staff.
1202
00:58:02,846 --> 00:58:04,914
- Speaking of working the staff,
1203
00:58:04,948 --> 00:58:07,383
did you see how cute Father Thomas's ass
1204
00:58:07,417 --> 00:58:09,819
looked in those tight pants of his?
1205
00:58:09,853 --> 00:58:12,755
One of these days I'm gonna throw him down
1206
00:58:12,789 --> 00:58:15,191
and ride him like Black Beauty.
1207
00:58:15,225 --> 00:58:18,828
- (laughs) Okay, okay, let's get to work.
1208
00:58:18,862 --> 00:58:21,698
(traffic humming)
1209
00:58:30,907 --> 00:58:31,975
- Hey, uh, Viper.
1210
00:58:33,109 --> 00:58:34,577
- What?
1211
00:58:34,611 --> 00:58:37,247
- Isn't it uh, that time of year for you guys now?
1212
00:58:38,715 --> 00:58:40,149
- What do you mean?
1213
00:58:40,183 --> 00:58:43,019
- You know uh, Jewish Christmas, happy harmonica
1214
00:58:43,052 --> 00:58:45,588
and all that shit, huh? (laughing)
1215
00:58:45,622 --> 00:58:47,624
- It's Hanukkah you fucking greaseball.
1216
00:58:47,657 --> 00:58:51,461
- Hey, hey, hey, Viper, relax, relax, calm down.
1217
00:58:51,494 --> 00:58:53,429
You gotta excuse Paulie over here,
1218
00:58:53,463 --> 00:58:55,131
speech is his second language.
1219
00:58:58,735 --> 00:58:59,536
- Hey, Viper.
1220
00:59:00,436 --> 00:59:01,671
- What now?
1221
00:59:01,704 --> 00:59:03,172
- Is it true what they say that uh,
1222
00:59:03,206 --> 00:59:05,675
you got your pinky ring cut off on your family jewels?
1223
00:59:05,708 --> 00:59:10,380
(Richie speaking in foreign language)
1224
00:59:10,413 --> 00:59:14,784
(Paulie speaking in foreign language)
1225
00:59:14,817 --> 00:59:19,322
(Richie speaking in foreign language)
1226
00:59:21,558 --> 00:59:22,358
(Paulie speaking in foreign language)
1227
00:59:22,392 --> 00:59:23,593
- [Richie] Uh-huh.
1228
00:59:23,626 --> 00:59:24,827
(Paulie speaking in foreign language)
1229
00:59:24,861 --> 00:59:29,232
(Richie speaking in foreign language)
1230
00:59:31,668 --> 00:59:32,468
- Oy.
1231
00:59:32,502 --> 00:59:34,237
(Richie laughing)
1232
00:59:34,270 --> 00:59:38,007
(Paulie and Richie laughing)
1233
00:59:39,108 --> 00:59:40,476
(lollipop crunches)
1234
00:59:40,510 --> 00:59:42,445
(group chattering)
1235
00:59:42,478 --> 00:59:43,947
- Hold it.
1236
00:59:43,980 --> 00:59:46,282
Gotta hand over your weapons if you wanna come in here.
1237
00:59:48,017 --> 00:59:49,619
(rock music)
1238
00:59:49,652 --> 00:59:52,655
(audience cheering)
1239
00:59:53,656 --> 00:59:56,626
♪ I'm pistol draggin' ♪
1240
00:59:56,659 --> 01:00:00,129
♪ Where the dirt roads don't go ♪
1241
01:00:00,163 --> 01:00:01,631
- So what's that one called?
1242
01:00:01,664 --> 01:00:05,969
- Uh, Crucifix Nail, it's tequila and holy water.
1243
01:00:06,002 --> 01:00:09,138
♪ Treating me cruel, I'm gone ♪
1244
01:00:09,172 --> 01:00:11,240
♪ Lay your hands on me, I'll cut you to the bone ♪
1245
01:00:11,274 --> 01:00:13,509
You know what I feel like doing?
1246
01:00:13,543 --> 01:00:14,544
- What?
1247
01:00:14,577 --> 01:00:17,814
♪ Where the dirt roads don't ♪
1248
01:00:17,847 --> 01:00:19,782
- That's what.
1249
01:00:19,816 --> 01:00:21,651
- You taste like a salt lake.
1250
01:00:21,684 --> 01:00:23,586
♪ I'm pistol draggin' ♪
1251
01:00:23,620 --> 01:00:26,089
♪ Not your ragdoll no more ♪
1252
01:00:26,122 --> 01:00:28,091
♪ Choppin' knives, you're bound to see ♪
1253
01:00:28,124 --> 01:00:29,692
♪ It's time I even the score ♪
1254
01:00:29,726 --> 01:00:33,830
♪ The devil has to whisper from down below ♪
1255
01:00:33,863 --> 01:00:38,868
♪ Just one shot he'll be pigeons for the crows ♪
1256
01:00:41,304 --> 01:00:43,640
- Hey, pillow lips, you wanna dance?
1257
01:00:43,673 --> 01:00:45,508
- Beat it, Sasquatch, she's my date.
1258
01:00:45,541 --> 01:00:47,543
- What's the matter your little bitch
1259
01:00:47,577 --> 01:00:48,778
do all the talking for ya?
1260
01:00:48,811 --> 01:00:50,580
(elbow thuds) (Nun gasping)
1261
01:00:50,613 --> 01:00:52,115
♪ Look what you got ♪
1262
01:00:52,148 --> 01:00:53,716
- From now on I think I'll let my friend Mr. Bar Stool
1263
01:00:53,750 --> 01:00:54,951
do all the talking.
1264
01:00:54,984 --> 01:00:56,386
- Mr. Bar Stool?
1265
01:00:57,820 --> 01:00:59,088
(Sister Pride grunts) (bar stool thuds)
1266
01:00:59,122 --> 01:01:00,256
- Now you've done it.
1267
01:01:01,457 --> 01:01:06,462
(ominous music) (water dripping)
1268
01:01:19,409 --> 01:01:22,245
(chips crunching)
1269
01:01:29,786 --> 01:01:32,388
(bomb ticking)
1270
01:01:37,260 --> 01:01:38,027
- What is it?
1271
01:01:38,061 --> 01:01:39,262
- It's a bomb.
1272
01:01:39,295 --> 01:01:42,198
- Okay, the way I see it we have two options.
1273
01:01:42,231 --> 01:01:44,767
Option one, we go upstairs, we tell the girls,
1274
01:01:44,801 --> 01:01:47,704
we go back to St. Vrains and let Mother Superior know.
1275
01:01:47,737 --> 01:01:49,072
- That's not violent enough.
1276
01:01:49,105 --> 01:01:50,473
What's option two?
1277
01:01:50,506 --> 01:01:52,942
- Option two, we go in there,
1278
01:01:52,975 --> 01:01:55,578
we splatter their brains all over the walls,
1279
01:01:55,611 --> 01:01:57,380
and gain sainthood in the afterlife.
1280
01:01:59,649 --> 01:02:03,186
- Saint Lust, has a nice ring to it don't ya think?
1281
01:02:03,219 --> 01:02:04,587
(suspenseful music)
1282
01:02:04,620 --> 01:02:06,255
- Okay, Sisters, put your hands up,
1283
01:02:06,289 --> 01:02:07,990
and step away from the bomb.
1284
01:02:08,024 --> 01:02:10,193
(guns clicking)
1285
01:02:10,226 --> 01:02:13,396
Corbucci, you're supposed to be dead.
1286
01:02:13,429 --> 01:02:14,831
- I'm the Resurrection, bitch.
1287
01:02:14,864 --> 01:02:17,600
(guns banging) (Corbucci yelling)
1288
01:02:17,633 --> 01:02:20,470
(Paulie laughing)
1289
01:02:24,407 --> 01:02:27,410
- Sisters, Sisters, this is very un-nun like behavior.
1290
01:02:27,443 --> 01:02:28,778
- Shut up, pris.
1291
01:02:31,948 --> 01:02:34,417
(body thuds)
1292
01:02:34,450 --> 01:02:35,818
(star whooshing)
1293
01:02:35,852 --> 01:02:36,853
(star thuds)
1294
01:02:36,886 --> 01:02:38,121
- Jesus Christ.
1295
01:02:39,255 --> 01:02:44,060
(star whooshes) (Nun gasps)
1296
01:02:44,093 --> 01:02:46,462
(flesh tearing)
1297
01:02:46,496 --> 01:02:48,064
- Jews.
1298
01:02:48,097 --> 01:02:49,766
(water dripping)
1299
01:02:49,799 --> 01:02:51,601
(Paulie laughing)
1300
01:02:51,634 --> 01:02:53,603
- Hey, let's go upstairs and see how Viper's doing.
1301
01:02:53,636 --> 01:02:55,004
- All right, boss.
1302
01:02:55,037 --> 01:02:57,373
(ominous music) (both gasping)
1303
01:02:57,406 --> 01:02:59,575
Holy fuck, it's a miracle!
1304
01:02:59,609 --> 01:03:03,246
- It's not a miracle, ass clown, it's bulletproof.
1305
01:03:03,279 --> 01:03:04,747
(suspenseful music) (gun banging)
1306
01:03:04,781 --> 01:03:06,516
(body thuds)
1307
01:03:06,549 --> 01:03:08,050
- You miserable slut!
1308
01:03:08,084 --> 01:03:10,787
I eat nuns for fucking breakfast!
1309
01:03:10,820 --> 01:03:13,422
(guns banging) (Richie yelling)
1310
01:03:13,456 --> 01:03:18,461
(bullet thuds) (gun clicking)
1311
01:03:19,629 --> 01:03:22,865
- You're gonna fucking pay for that peckerwood.
1312
01:03:22,899 --> 01:03:24,100
(gun thuds) (Richie groans)
1313
01:03:24,133 --> 01:03:28,738
(ominous music) (group whimpering)
1314
01:03:29,372 --> 01:03:32,141
(Viper laughing)
1315
01:03:34,510 --> 01:03:37,146
- Tonight we find out who the real chosen ones are,
1316
01:03:37,180 --> 01:03:37,980
(screen whooshes)
1317
01:03:38,014 --> 01:03:38,848
sluts.
1318
01:03:38,881 --> 01:03:40,216
(body whooshes)
1319
01:03:40,249 --> 01:03:42,885
- You think you can scare us?
1320
01:03:42,919 --> 01:03:47,223
We're nuns, we don't know the meaning of the word fear.
1321
01:03:47,256 --> 01:03:50,159
We are strong, dedicated woman
1322
01:03:50,193 --> 01:03:54,697
who laugh in the face of danger. (laughs)
1323
01:03:54,730 --> 01:03:58,568
So if you think that you can just waltz in here
1324
01:03:58,601 --> 01:04:01,437
and kill my fellow women of the cloth,
1325
01:04:01,470 --> 01:04:03,406
you've got another thing coming.
1326
01:04:04,340 --> 01:04:06,843
- Come on, girls, let's get 'em!
1327
01:04:08,344 --> 01:04:11,414
(Viper laughing)
1328
01:04:11,447 --> 01:04:12,281
- Yipes.
1329
01:04:13,449 --> 01:04:16,018
- Open the door, he's gonna kill us all.
1330
01:04:16,052 --> 01:04:17,954
- We'll pray for you.
1331
01:04:17,987 --> 01:04:18,821
(star whooshes) (star clangs)
1332
01:04:18,855 --> 01:04:21,691
(stars whooshing)
1333
01:04:23,292 --> 01:04:24,126
- All out?
1334
01:04:25,528 --> 01:04:27,830
Let's finish this shit old school.
1335
01:04:27,864 --> 01:04:29,966
(Viper whooshes)
1336
01:04:29,999 --> 01:04:32,335
- My people invented old school, bitch.
1337
01:04:35,371 --> 01:04:39,342
(hands whoosh) (smoke hissing)
1338
01:04:39,375 --> 01:04:44,380
Let me introduce to the Bronowitz brothers, Levi and Eli.
1339
01:04:44,981 --> 01:04:46,315
They're CPAs.
1340
01:04:46,349 --> 01:04:47,383
- CPAs?
1341
01:04:48,384 --> 01:04:49,919
- Certified Penguin Assassins,
1342
01:04:51,287 --> 01:04:55,091
practitioners of the ancient art of Jew Jitsu.
1343
01:04:55,124 --> 01:04:55,958
- Oy. - Vey.
1344
01:04:57,693 --> 01:05:00,663
(suspenseful music)
1345
01:05:00,696 --> 01:05:01,797
(foot whooshes)
1346
01:05:01,831 --> 01:05:04,267
(Viper grunting) (foot thudding)
1347
01:05:04,300 --> 01:05:05,835
(Levi grunting)
1348
01:05:05,868 --> 01:05:07,103
(Eli grunts)
1349
01:05:07,136 --> 01:05:08,771
(Viper grunts) (fist thuds)
1350
01:05:08,804 --> 01:05:10,406
(fist thudding)
1351
01:05:10,439 --> 01:05:13,142
(foot thuds) (Viper groans)
1352
01:05:13,175 --> 01:05:18,180
(head thuds) (Eli groans)
1353
01:05:18,814 --> 01:05:21,250
(bones cracking)
1354
01:05:21,284 --> 01:05:22,885
- [Levi] Mazel tov.
1355
01:05:25,321 --> 01:05:27,957
(fists thudding)
1356
01:05:27,990 --> 01:05:29,058
(knee thuds)
1357
01:05:29,091 --> 01:05:31,360
(Viper grunts) (body thuds)
1358
01:05:31,394 --> 01:05:33,963
(Levi groaning)
1359
01:05:33,996 --> 01:05:35,898
(neck cracking)
1360
01:05:35,932 --> 01:05:38,000
(body thuds)
1361
01:05:38,034 --> 01:05:41,003
(Kelly groans)
1362
01:05:41,037 --> 01:05:44,440
- God, now would be a really good time for a miracle.
1363
01:05:44,473 --> 01:05:46,575
- (gasping) Behind the bar.
1364
01:05:46,609 --> 01:05:47,510
- What?
1365
01:05:47,543 --> 01:05:49,011
- Behind the bar, your miracle.
1366
01:05:49,879 --> 01:05:53,115
Good luck, sister. (gasps)
1367
01:05:53,149 --> 01:05:54,784
(Viper laughing)
1368
01:05:54,817 --> 01:05:56,819
(Sister Pride yelling)
1369
01:05:56,852 --> 01:05:59,422
- Uh, he fucking broke my nose.
1370
01:06:00,556 --> 01:06:03,426
(woman vocalizing)
1371
01:06:10,199 --> 01:06:11,300
(Sister Pride crying)
1372
01:06:11,334 --> 01:06:12,535
(Viper laughing)
1373
01:06:12,568 --> 01:06:15,237
- Decide that you'd had enough old school?
1374
01:06:15,271 --> 01:06:18,107
- Let her go, I'll let you walk out of here alive.
1375
01:06:18,140 --> 01:06:19,875
- How about instead you let me go
1376
01:06:19,909 --> 01:06:21,043
and I let her live?
1377
01:06:22,411 --> 01:06:24,246
- Shoot him, Kelly, I'm not afraid.
1378
01:06:24,280 --> 01:06:26,882
- (laughs) Looks like what they say about nuns
1379
01:06:26,916 --> 01:06:28,818
going all lesbo when they're locked up together
1380
01:06:28,851 --> 01:06:33,289
without any dick isn't that far from the truth. (laughs)
1381
01:06:34,223 --> 01:06:35,791
Mazel tov, bitch.
1382
01:06:40,796 --> 01:06:42,598
- Tell me who set us up.
1383
01:06:42,631 --> 01:06:44,100
- I can't okay.
1384
01:06:44,133 --> 01:06:47,703
I can't, okay, okay, okay, I'll tell you, okay.
1385
01:06:47,737 --> 01:06:49,205
It was that Priest O'Bannon okay.
1386
01:06:49,238 --> 01:06:52,675
He's the one you wanna kill, you don't wanna kill me.
1387
01:06:52,708 --> 01:06:54,577
I think I'm gonna throw up.
1388
01:06:55,678 --> 01:06:56,679
- O'Bannon, huh.
1389
01:06:59,215 --> 01:07:01,117
That crucifix you're wearing.
1390
01:07:01,150 --> 01:07:01,984
- Yeah.
1391
01:07:03,252 --> 01:07:04,720
- Do you believe in Jesus?
1392
01:07:04,754 --> 01:07:07,590
- Oh, yeah, I believe in Jesus with all my heart and soul,
1393
01:07:07,623 --> 01:07:08,657
I do, I do.
1394
01:07:08,691 --> 01:07:09,992
- You wanna meet him?
1395
01:07:10,026 --> 01:07:11,761
- Of course, yeah, bring 'em.
1396
01:07:11,794 --> 01:07:13,262
(gun clicks)
1397
01:07:13,295 --> 01:07:15,131
No, no, no, I don't wanna meet him, I don't wanna meet him.
1398
01:07:15,164 --> 01:07:16,232
(gun bangs)
1399
01:07:16,265 --> 01:07:18,701
(body thuds)
1400
01:07:27,043 --> 01:07:29,945
- Father, I think it's time we heard your confession.
1401
01:07:29,979 --> 01:07:31,714
(ominous music)
1402
01:07:31,747 --> 01:07:32,548
(arm whooshes) (fist thuds)
1403
01:07:32,581 --> 01:07:34,150
(funky brooding music)
1404
01:07:34,183 --> 01:07:36,786
- Hey, what's with the frickin' water works?
1405
01:07:36,819 --> 01:07:39,989
You can't have another yeast infection already.
1406
01:07:40,022 --> 01:07:41,524
Fluci's Bakery down the street
1407
01:07:41,557 --> 01:07:44,193
doesn't pump out as much sourdough as you.
1408
01:07:44,226 --> 01:07:46,762
- That's not it, Momma, bitch don't wanna work.
1409
01:07:48,097 --> 01:07:50,266
- What do you mean don't wanna work?
1410
01:07:52,134 --> 01:07:55,004
Listen, sweetie, what's wrong?
1411
01:07:55,037 --> 01:07:56,472
Tell Momma everything.
1412
01:07:56,505 --> 01:08:00,176
- It's, it's just this client I have a date with.
1413
01:08:01,243 --> 01:08:04,146
- Mario Drip Dick Carcheri.
1414
01:08:04,180 --> 01:08:06,982
- He wants me to do some really sick stuff.
1415
01:08:07,016 --> 01:08:10,853
- Honey, he's a man, all man wanna do sick stuff with women,
1416
01:08:10,886 --> 01:08:12,788
otherwise we'd all be out of a job.
1417
01:08:12,822 --> 01:08:15,224
- (chuckles) Listen, pumpkin,
1418
01:08:15,257 --> 01:08:16,892
why don't you whisper in Momma's ear
1419
01:08:16,926 --> 01:08:18,127
what he wants you to do.
1420
01:08:23,399 --> 01:08:28,170
(chuckles) Fuck me sideways that is pretty sick.
1421
01:08:28,204 --> 01:08:30,806
- So you're not gonna make me do it right, Momma?
1422
01:08:30,840 --> 01:08:32,741
- Oh, the fuck I'm not.
1423
01:08:32,775 --> 01:08:35,277
Set up a camera in there and take some photos.
1424
01:08:35,311 --> 01:08:37,379
There's a big market for that in Germany.
1425
01:08:38,647 --> 01:08:39,482
- No.
1426
01:08:42,885 --> 01:08:47,256
(Madam speaks in foreign language)
1427
01:08:47,289 --> 01:08:49,225
- [Lucky] Ow!
1428
01:08:49,258 --> 01:08:50,759
- Those are for company.
1429
01:08:50,793 --> 01:08:52,795
- Ma.
1430
01:08:52,828 --> 01:08:53,629
- Douche.
1431
01:09:00,469 --> 01:09:03,739
Well, well, well, who do we have here?
1432
01:09:03,772 --> 01:09:06,742
- She's a nun in The Order of the Black Habit.
1433
01:09:07,643 --> 01:09:08,444
(body thuds)
1434
01:09:08,477 --> 01:09:10,412
- Great, great.
1435
01:09:10,446 --> 01:09:11,714
Did you get the others?
1436
01:09:11,747 --> 01:09:15,017
- We got one, the other two got away.
1437
01:09:15,050 --> 01:09:16,485
But I'm sure this little bitch will serve
1438
01:09:16,519 --> 01:09:19,255
as the perfect nun bait for the rest of them.
1439
01:09:19,288 --> 01:09:21,056
- And Richie and Paulie?
1440
01:09:21,090 --> 01:09:22,391
- Both dead.
1441
01:09:22,424 --> 01:09:26,996
- Ah, pity, I'll miss them sort of.
1442
01:09:29,798 --> 01:09:31,867
(groans) Well, never send a goy
1443
01:09:31,901 --> 01:09:36,038
to do a man's work right, Viper? (chuckles)
1444
01:09:36,071 --> 01:09:39,175
While we're waiting for your little friends to show up
1445
01:09:39,208 --> 01:09:41,577
I think I'll put you to work.
1446
01:09:41,610 --> 01:09:45,548
Make Momma back some of the money you cost us.
1447
01:09:45,581 --> 01:09:47,249
You have an opening for this one?
1448
01:09:48,584 --> 01:09:52,988
- I think I can find something appropriately hideous.
1449
01:09:53,956 --> 01:09:55,291
- Keep an eye on her.
1450
01:09:57,993 --> 01:09:59,528
- I want first crack at her.
1451
01:10:00,462 --> 01:10:01,564
- Her?
1452
01:10:01,597 --> 01:10:03,766
(Sister Pride snarling)
1453
01:10:03,799 --> 01:10:04,934
Why her?
1454
01:10:06,168 --> 01:10:07,803
- I like fucking nuns.
1455
01:10:09,371 --> 01:10:14,176
- Oh, you are downright evil, Viper.
1456
01:10:14,210 --> 01:10:15,978
I like that in a man.
1457
01:10:17,179 --> 01:10:19,815
You know maybe if you play your cards right
1458
01:10:19,848 --> 01:10:24,853
you could take Corbucci's place and Lucky's place too.
1459
01:10:25,454 --> 01:10:26,388
(Lucky spits)
1460
01:10:26,422 --> 01:10:28,524
I know, I know he's my son,
1461
01:10:28,557 --> 01:10:32,928
but now he couldn't win the bronze medal
1462
01:10:32,962 --> 01:10:34,296
in the Special Olympics.
1463
01:10:34,330 --> 01:10:38,367
(Viper and Momma laughing)
1464
01:10:38,400 --> 01:10:40,569
I gotta go take a dump.
1465
01:10:46,208 --> 01:10:49,511
- What the fuck are you looking at Jerry's kid?
1466
01:10:49,545 --> 01:10:52,248
(brooding music)
1467
01:10:56,352 --> 01:10:59,054
(water dripping)
1468
01:11:05,928 --> 01:11:07,029
- Where am I?
1469
01:11:10,466 --> 01:11:15,137
- From the looks of things I'd say you're in hell.
1470
01:11:15,170 --> 01:11:17,473
- Sisters, what's, what's gotten into you?
1471
01:11:17,506 --> 01:11:18,907
- Shut up.
1472
01:11:18,941 --> 01:11:22,077
Now before I blew that scumbag Corbucci away
1473
01:11:22,111 --> 01:11:24,580
he told me, "You were the rat behind this."
1474
01:11:24,613 --> 01:11:26,415
You fuckin' set us up.
1475
01:11:26,448 --> 01:11:28,417
- Now Sister Gluttony is dead,
1476
01:11:28,450 --> 01:11:30,252
and they've kidnapped Sister Pride.
1477
01:11:31,720 --> 01:11:35,090
So Father, unless you tell me where their hideout is,
1478
01:11:35,124 --> 01:11:37,960
(drill whirring)
1479
01:11:37,993 --> 01:11:41,997
I'm gonna turn you into the holiest priest in town.
1480
01:11:42,031 --> 01:11:42,965
- Is that so?
1481
01:11:44,166 --> 01:11:47,569
You unholy whores always resorting to violence
1482
01:11:47,603 --> 01:11:49,872
to solve your problems.
1483
01:11:49,905 --> 01:11:52,074
There was a time when this church
1484
01:11:52,107 --> 01:11:54,743
truly believed in non-violence,
1485
01:11:54,777 --> 01:11:56,712
when the whole damn thing was overseen
1486
01:11:56,745 --> 01:12:00,282
by wise, benevolent old men.
1487
01:12:00,316 --> 01:12:02,384
And now it's come to this,
1488
01:12:02,418 --> 01:12:06,288
a nun threatening to torture a man anointed by the church.
1489
01:12:06,322 --> 01:12:08,991
- You're the one that sold us out to the mob.
1490
01:12:09,024 --> 01:12:10,592
You think they're better?
1491
01:12:10,626 --> 01:12:13,395
- They're good Catholics, they're men.
1492
01:12:13,429 --> 01:12:14,596
They go to confession
1493
01:12:14,630 --> 01:12:16,899
and repent when they've had somebody killed,
1494
01:12:16,932 --> 01:12:20,869
rather than just rely on their promised place in heaven.
1495
01:12:20,903 --> 01:12:24,340
- That's what it all comes down to for you, isn't it?
1496
01:12:25,441 --> 01:12:27,109
That they're men.
1497
01:12:27,142 --> 01:12:30,145
- No, I'm just tired of you nuns
1498
01:12:30,179 --> 01:12:32,715
running the show around here.
1499
01:12:32,748 --> 01:12:36,685
Before you, we priests actually meant something.
1500
01:12:36,719 --> 01:12:38,687
We were men with influence.
1501
01:12:38,721 --> 01:12:41,924
Mob bosses, politicians, business men,
1502
01:12:41,957 --> 01:12:44,059
everybody listened when we talked.
1503
01:12:44,093 --> 01:12:47,730
We were the ultimate gatekeepers of the Kingdom of Heaven.
1504
01:12:48,897 --> 01:12:53,202
(laughs) Now all we do is wash the blood stains
1505
01:12:53,235 --> 01:12:55,671
out of your filthy habits.
1506
01:12:55,704 --> 01:12:58,874
- Now you know what women were doing for years
1507
01:12:58,907 --> 01:13:00,042
before you came along.
1508
01:13:00,075 --> 01:13:01,643
- And that's as it should be.
1509
01:13:03,245 --> 01:13:04,980
- You'd send us to our deaths
1510
01:13:05,013 --> 01:13:08,584
just to keep what you see as your rightful place in line?
1511
01:13:08,617 --> 01:13:12,020
(scoffs) You're one sick fuck, Father.
1512
01:13:13,455 --> 01:13:16,692
But I don't have time for your bullshit theology.
1513
01:13:16,725 --> 01:13:19,661
You're going to tell me where the mob took Sister Pride
1514
01:13:20,863 --> 01:13:23,198
or you'll be getting your final judgment
1515
01:13:23,232 --> 01:13:26,468
sooner rather than later.
1516
01:13:26,502 --> 01:13:30,038
(drill whirring)
1517
01:13:30,072 --> 01:13:32,841
(brooding music)
1518
01:13:34,209 --> 01:13:35,611
- Uh, I feel so guilty.
1519
01:13:37,179 --> 01:13:39,148
If I had just been here,
1520
01:13:39,181 --> 01:13:40,949
I might of been able to prevent this.
1521
01:13:40,983 --> 01:13:43,318
- Thomas, you probably would of gotten killed
1522
01:13:43,352 --> 01:13:45,554
right along with Mother Superior.
1523
01:13:45,587 --> 01:13:47,356
Consider yourself blessed.
1524
01:13:49,191 --> 01:13:52,661
- Dear Lord, bless these servants who fight in your name.
1525
01:13:52,694 --> 01:13:56,632
May their limbs be swift, may their minds be nimble,
1526
01:13:56,665 --> 01:13:58,934
and may their bullets always find their mark.
1527
01:14:00,769 --> 01:14:01,603
Amen.
1528
01:14:03,439 --> 01:14:05,407
- Thank you, Father Thomas.
1529
01:14:05,441 --> 01:14:07,576
Now you have to leave here soon as possible,
1530
01:14:07,609 --> 01:14:10,779
we might of been followed, promise?
1531
01:14:10,813 --> 01:14:11,814
- I promise, Sister.
1532
01:14:16,552 --> 01:14:18,620
- (sighs) He's a priest,
1533
01:14:18,654 --> 01:14:21,523
I could go straight to hell for that, but I could die.
1534
01:14:32,835 --> 01:14:35,938
(funky sultry music)
1535
01:14:39,708 --> 01:14:42,578
If I make it out of this alive, Father Thomas,
1536
01:14:42,611 --> 01:14:45,881
I swear I'm gonna give you something real juicy
1537
01:14:45,914 --> 01:14:47,216
to mention at confession.
1538
01:14:52,154 --> 01:14:54,823
(moans) Priest.
1539
01:15:01,063 --> 01:15:02,197
(body thuds) (tires screeching)
1540
01:15:02,231 --> 01:15:04,066
(brooding music)
1541
01:15:04,099 --> 01:15:06,034
So do you have a plan?
1542
01:15:06,068 --> 01:15:09,104
- I do, but you're not gonna like it.
1543
01:15:09,137 --> 01:15:11,507
- Does it involve me killing bad guys?
1544
01:15:11,540 --> 01:15:13,075
- Sure does.
1545
01:15:13,108 --> 01:15:15,244
- Then I'm behind you a 100%.
1546
01:15:16,211 --> 01:15:18,881
- Okey-dokey. (chuckles)
1547
01:15:22,818 --> 01:15:25,787
(knuckles tapping)
1548
01:15:25,821 --> 01:15:28,390
- Must be all playing frickin' bingo.
1549
01:15:28,423 --> 01:15:29,925
(man screaming)
1550
01:15:29,958 --> 01:15:31,260
- That must be the winner.
1551
01:15:32,127 --> 01:15:34,963
(water dripping)
1552
01:15:34,997 --> 01:15:39,134
- Yeah, down here fellas, yeah, this way.
1553
01:15:39,167 --> 01:15:42,170
Yeah, closer, closer.
1554
01:15:44,907 --> 01:15:47,509
What the fuck took you assholes so long?
1555
01:15:47,543 --> 01:15:49,444
- Holy stigmata.
1556
01:15:49,478 --> 01:15:54,483
(funky klezmer music) (Sister Pride whimpering)
1557
01:15:55,918 --> 01:16:00,055
- Ah, oy vey, I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
1558
01:16:01,823 --> 01:16:05,928
Don't worry, baby, I'll be gentle at first.
1559
01:16:07,129 --> 01:16:10,065
(doorbell ringing)
1560
01:16:12,267 --> 01:16:15,337
(door clicks)
1561
01:16:15,370 --> 01:16:18,073
- Welcome to Momma Rizzo's Hooker Heaven.
1562
01:16:18,106 --> 01:16:19,141
How can we help you?
1563
01:16:21,777 --> 01:16:22,744
- I heard you were in the market
1564
01:16:22,778 --> 01:16:25,814
for some tender young chicken.
1565
01:16:25,847 --> 01:16:27,282
- We're always in the market for some chicken
1566
01:16:27,316 --> 01:16:29,751
if it's fresh enough.
1567
01:16:30,919 --> 01:16:32,087
- Is 14 too old?
1568
01:16:32,120 --> 01:16:34,156
- No, it's perfect.
1569
01:16:38,026 --> 01:16:39,227
14 you say?
1570
01:16:40,762 --> 01:16:44,266
- Yeah, her mother's a dirty smack whore,
1571
01:16:44,299 --> 01:16:45,634
she owes me some money,
1572
01:16:45,667 --> 01:16:49,871
so she lets me babysit little brown sugar here.
1573
01:16:52,608 --> 01:16:53,442
- Nice.
1574
01:16:54,743 --> 01:16:55,577
Firm.
1575
01:16:57,145 --> 01:16:58,747
I'll give you $500 for her.
1576
01:17:01,850 --> 01:17:02,651
(knee thuds) (Madam groans)
1577
01:17:02,684 --> 01:17:05,087
(head thuds)
1578
01:17:07,723 --> 01:17:10,459
- Did you just call my mother a dirty smack whore?
1579
01:17:10,492 --> 01:17:12,594
- I was acting.
1580
01:17:12,628 --> 01:17:14,496
Come on, let's go find Sister Pride.
1581
01:17:21,103 --> 01:17:24,172
- I'm worth a lot more than 500 bucks sansnatch.
1582
01:17:26,341 --> 01:17:27,843
(funky klezmer music)
1583
01:17:27,876 --> 01:17:31,146
(Sister Pride yelling)
1584
01:17:34,549 --> 01:17:35,717
(underwear snaps)
1585
01:17:35,751 --> 01:17:38,086
- Don't worry, baby, it's kosher.
1586
01:17:38,120 --> 01:17:41,356
(Sister Pride yelling)
1587
01:17:47,863 --> 01:17:49,798
- All right, you go find Momma Rizzo,
1588
01:17:49,831 --> 01:17:51,133
and I'll find Sister Pride.
1589
01:17:51,166 --> 01:17:52,367
- All right.
1590
01:17:52,401 --> 01:17:55,637
Watch your ass in this place, and your vag.
1591
01:17:56,938 --> 01:18:01,743
(Sister Pride whimpering) (ominous music)
1592
01:18:02,878 --> 01:18:05,447
- Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, it's okay,
1593
01:18:07,482 --> 01:18:08,850
I'm not gonna rush anything.
1594
01:18:08,884 --> 01:18:10,419
(Sister Pride whimpers)
1595
01:18:10,452 --> 01:18:13,121
I know the importance of foreplay for you women.
1596
01:18:13,155 --> 01:18:15,957
(Sister Pride whimpering)
1597
01:18:15,991 --> 01:18:17,426
(suspenseful music)
1598
01:18:17,459 --> 01:18:20,195
- [Mario] Oh, yeah, yeah, you wanna find some eggs, huh?
1599
01:18:20,228 --> 01:18:22,464
Honey, you wanna find some eggs?
1600
01:18:22,497 --> 01:18:24,666
- You're one sick fucking bunny.
1601
01:18:24,700 --> 01:18:28,937
(gun banging) (Mario groaning)
1602
01:18:28,970 --> 01:18:31,406
(body thuds)
1603
01:18:41,083 --> 01:18:41,983
(suspenseful music)
1604
01:18:42,017 --> 01:18:43,752
- Got you now, bitch.
1605
01:18:44,753 --> 01:18:46,254
(Viper slurping)
1606
01:18:46,288 --> 01:18:48,457
(Sister Pride yelling)
1607
01:18:48,490 --> 01:18:51,059
- Get off her or I'll blow your fucking brains out.
1608
01:18:54,629 --> 01:18:55,897
- It's okay, baby.
1609
01:18:55,931 --> 01:18:59,167
(Sister Pride yelling)
1610
01:19:00,268 --> 01:19:01,636
(hat whooshing)
1611
01:19:01,670 --> 01:19:03,939
(screen whooshes) (Viper yelling)
1612
01:19:03,972 --> 01:19:06,308
- Put me you down you jive ass motherfucker.
1613
01:19:06,341 --> 01:19:07,576
- Gladly. (body thuds)
1614
01:19:07,609 --> 01:19:10,345
- Oh, my lucky fucking day,
1615
01:19:10,378 --> 01:19:14,182
they're falling like manna from heaven. (chuckles)
1616
01:19:14,216 --> 01:19:15,884
- Caught this one sneaking around.
1617
01:19:15,917 --> 01:19:17,986
I bet there's more around here somewhere.
1618
01:19:20,322 --> 01:19:23,792
- Well, then let's go greet our new visitors shall we?.
1619
01:19:23,825 --> 01:19:27,963
(Viper grunting) (fist thudding)
1620
01:19:27,996 --> 01:19:29,698
- I love beating nuns.
1621
01:19:29,731 --> 01:19:31,600
(Kelly coughing)
1622
01:19:31,633 --> 01:19:33,235
- Well, what do we have here?
1623
01:19:33,268 --> 01:19:34,469
(hand whooshes) (screen whooshes)
1624
01:19:34,503 --> 01:19:37,139
(blood splattering) (Viper screaming)
1625
01:19:37,172 --> 01:19:40,509
(Sister Pride laughing)
1626
01:19:45,213 --> 01:19:47,716
(door clicks)
1627
01:20:01,163 --> 01:20:05,600
- Oh, very cute, you think you can get the drop on me,
1628
01:20:05,634 --> 01:20:07,269
you got another thing coming.
1629
01:20:08,336 --> 01:20:10,639
Now we can both die here
1630
01:20:10,672 --> 01:20:12,641
or we can both walk out of here,
1631
01:20:12,674 --> 01:20:16,611
and hunt each other down later like the dogs that we are.
1632
01:20:17,612 --> 01:20:19,714
- Only problem for you is.
1633
01:20:20,649 --> 01:20:21,850
- We work in pairs.
1634
01:20:21,883 --> 01:20:23,051
(hands whooshing) (Sister Pride grunting)
1635
01:20:23,084 --> 01:20:24,786
(Momma groaning)
1636
01:20:24,820 --> 01:20:27,122
- I've hunted down every last member
1637
01:20:27,155 --> 01:20:28,456
of the Falsto crime family
1638
01:20:28,490 --> 01:20:30,659
for what they did to my parents.
1639
01:20:30,692 --> 01:20:34,129
And before they died every single one of them
1640
01:20:34,162 --> 01:20:36,097
told me the same thing,
1641
01:20:36,131 --> 01:20:38,033
"That they'd been hired to do the job
1642
01:20:38,066 --> 01:20:40,902
by someone who called herself Big Momma."
1643
01:20:42,370 --> 01:20:44,940
I don't suppose you know who that could of been do you?
1644
01:20:44,973 --> 01:20:47,342
- Oh, fuck you, Sister.
1645
01:20:47,375 --> 01:20:48,643
Look I know you're gonna kill me
1646
01:20:48,677 --> 01:20:52,047
just do me the favor of not boring me to death.
1647
01:20:52,080 --> 01:20:55,750
Oh, my daddy got killed over business boohoo.
1648
01:20:55,784 --> 01:20:59,855
Wah, wah, wah, Mommy and Daddy got gunned down.
1649
01:20:59,888 --> 01:21:01,356
Save it for the confessional.
1650
01:21:02,657 --> 01:21:03,625
(Momma grunting)
1651
01:21:03,658 --> 01:21:05,126
(Kelly yells)
1652
01:21:05,160 --> 01:21:07,395
I'm gonna make this hurt so bad,
1653
01:21:07,429 --> 01:21:09,564
you're gonna remember me when you're dead.
1654
01:21:12,300 --> 01:21:13,134
(elbow thuds) (Sister Pride groans)
1655
01:21:13,168 --> 01:21:15,570
(head thuds)
1656
01:21:15,604 --> 01:21:17,739
Goodnight my sweet little penguin.
1657
01:21:19,674 --> 01:21:23,778
(Sister Pride yells) (Momma groaning)
1658
01:21:23,812 --> 01:21:27,215
(Kelly coughing)
1659
01:21:27,249 --> 01:21:29,885
(Momma groaning)
1660
01:21:29,918 --> 01:21:30,752
- Momma.
1661
01:21:31,686 --> 01:21:33,221
- Lucky.
1662
01:21:33,255 --> 01:21:35,357
(Kelly coughing)
1663
01:21:35,390 --> 01:21:37,626
(gun banging)
1664
01:21:37,659 --> 01:21:40,428
Fuck me. (body thuds)
1665
01:21:43,565 --> 01:21:47,235
- I guess I am lucky after all, Momma.
1666
01:21:57,646 --> 01:21:59,948
- I think we'll be okay now.
1667
01:22:01,116 --> 01:22:02,250
(suspenseful music)
1668
01:22:02,284 --> 01:22:03,885
- Freeze.
1669
01:22:03,919 --> 01:22:05,353
- It's not what it looks like.
1670
01:22:05,387 --> 01:22:08,056
- Sister Kelly Johnson, I'm placing you under arrest
1671
01:22:08,089 --> 01:22:11,593
for murder, kidnapping, and conspiracy to commit murder.
1672
01:22:11,626 --> 01:22:13,595
And you missy, are an accomplice.
1673
01:22:14,896 --> 01:22:19,901
(brooding music) (woman vocalizing)
1674
01:22:23,271 --> 01:22:26,341
- [Detective] Let me at 'em, let me at 'em!
1675
01:22:26,374 --> 01:22:28,443
All I need is five minutes alone with 'em!
1676
01:22:28,476 --> 01:22:30,779
- Take it easy, they're nuns for Christ's sake.
1677
01:22:30,812 --> 01:22:33,648
- 12 years of Catholic school, I want my revenge!
1678
01:22:34,516 --> 01:22:35,717
- Get out of here!
1679
01:22:44,459 --> 01:22:47,796
Look Sisters, I just want you to know before we book you
1680
01:22:47,829 --> 01:22:50,398
that if I had my way I would just let you off
1681
01:22:50,432 --> 01:22:54,202
with some strong warning or community service or something.
1682
01:22:54,235 --> 01:22:56,972
- Yeah, you nuns did this city a pretty big favor.
1683
01:22:58,306 --> 01:22:59,908
Problem is they're gonna wanna repay you
1684
01:22:59,941 --> 01:23:02,544
with a one way ticket to the electric chair.
1685
01:23:02,577 --> 01:23:04,813
(door clicks) (suspenseful ethereal music)
1686
01:23:04,846 --> 01:23:06,781
- Who the hell is that?
1687
01:23:06,815 --> 01:23:09,718
(woman vocalizing)
1688
01:23:14,622 --> 01:23:16,324
- Hey, uh, what are ya doin'?
1689
01:23:16,358 --> 01:23:18,526
These ladies, they no go to jail, officers.
1690
01:23:19,728 --> 01:23:21,229
- Your Holiness.
1691
01:23:21,262 --> 01:23:23,665
- They is protected under the canon law.
1692
01:23:25,967 --> 01:23:28,903
I granted them a divine pardon.
1693
01:23:28,937 --> 01:23:31,339
- Dude, it's the fucking pope.
1694
01:23:31,373 --> 01:23:33,208
Can you believe that shit?
1695
01:23:33,241 --> 01:23:34,476
- Kiss, kiss.
1696
01:23:34,509 --> 01:23:37,512
Oh, yeah, oh yeah, more, more, more.
1697
01:23:41,349 --> 01:23:42,150
(staff whooshing)
1698
01:23:42,183 --> 01:23:44,886
(group vocalizing)
1699
01:23:44,919 --> 01:23:46,688
(cuffs chiming)
1700
01:23:46,721 --> 01:23:47,856
(cuffs chiming)
1701
01:23:47,889 --> 01:23:50,392
Ah, yes, my precious pious pussies
1702
01:23:50,425 --> 01:23:54,162
with the razor claws, and the throbbing thoroughfares.
1703
01:23:54,195 --> 01:23:58,666
You make uh, Pope Corky IV uh, very, very proud.
1704
01:23:58,700 --> 01:24:01,803
- And we can make you a very, very happy man.
1705
01:24:06,074 --> 01:24:07,575
- Isn't this amazing?
1706
01:24:07,609 --> 01:24:09,878
- Yeah, I thought they only liked boys.
1707
01:24:11,212 --> 01:24:13,782
(gentle music)
1708
01:24:20,455 --> 01:24:23,058
(Sister Pride sighs)
1709
01:24:23,091 --> 01:24:25,627
- Well, I guess it's like they say,
1710
01:24:25,660 --> 01:24:27,062
all's well that ends well.
1711
01:24:28,396 --> 01:24:31,099
- I'm gonna go take a shower, you wanna come?
1712
01:24:31,132 --> 01:24:35,170
- Nah, I think I'm gonna sleep for about a week after this.
1713
01:24:35,203 --> 01:24:37,305
- Suit yourself.
1714
01:24:37,338 --> 01:24:39,441
I'll be back in a minute to keep you company.
1715
01:24:43,144 --> 01:24:46,014
(Sister Pride sighs)
1716
01:24:46,047 --> 01:24:48,016
- Cozy in here, isn't it?
1717
01:24:48,049 --> 01:24:50,151
- Aren't you supposed to watching over Sister Wrath?
1718
01:24:50,185 --> 01:24:52,520
- Oh, she'll be fine, that girl is a rock.
1719
01:24:54,155 --> 01:24:55,523
(suspenseful music)
1720
01:24:55,557 --> 01:24:58,560
(Kelly gasps)
1721
01:24:58,593 --> 01:25:00,228
Angels like to cuddle.
1722
01:25:00,261 --> 01:25:01,663
- Get off of me.
1723
01:25:01,696 --> 01:25:02,897
- Hold me!
1724
01:25:02,931 --> 01:25:04,365
Why won't you hold me?
1725
01:25:04,399 --> 01:25:08,903
- Thought you were through with me, demon bitch?
1726
01:25:08,937 --> 01:25:13,174
- Let me guess, you're gonna rape me and then kill me,
1727
01:25:13,208 --> 01:25:16,678
probably in some sort of demonic sacrifice.
1728
01:25:16,711 --> 01:25:20,782
- That would be my choice if I had one.
1729
01:25:20,815 --> 01:25:22,884
- Oh, spare me.
1730
01:25:22,917 --> 01:25:27,922
You know what the difference between you and me is?
1731
01:25:28,790 --> 01:25:32,260
- Hmm, that I have the gun
1732
01:25:33,461 --> 01:25:35,230
and you're the one who has to shut up
1733
01:25:36,397 --> 01:25:40,301
or I'm going to kill you slowly and painfully.
1734
01:25:41,503 --> 01:25:42,337
- Nope.
1735
01:25:43,538 --> 01:25:47,008
The difference is one of us isn't scared to die.
1736
01:25:47,041 --> 01:25:47,842
(suspenseful music)
1737
01:25:47,876 --> 01:25:49,344
(grenade clicks)
1738
01:25:49,377 --> 01:25:52,914
(explosion booming)
1739
01:25:52,947 --> 01:25:55,517
- Oh, the boss is gonna be sore over this one.
1740
01:25:55,550 --> 01:25:57,619
(ethereal music) (body thuds)
1741
01:25:57,652 --> 01:25:58,853
(Father O'Bannon groans)
1742
01:25:58,887 --> 01:26:01,389
(funky music)
1743
01:26:01,422 --> 01:26:02,357
- Is this hell?
1744
01:26:03,758 --> 01:26:04,826
- Hell?
1745
01:26:04,859 --> 01:26:07,729
Why you little communion wafer pusher.
1746
01:26:07,762 --> 01:26:12,267
(group yelling) (Father O'Bannon groaning)
1747
01:26:12,300 --> 01:26:13,868
- Help, no!
1748
01:26:13,902 --> 01:26:18,173
Oh, Father, I, I need hail Mary full of grace.
1749
01:26:18,206 --> 01:26:19,574
Momma! (fists thudding)
1750
01:26:19,607 --> 01:26:20,775
- I think there's been a mix up.
1751
01:26:20,808 --> 01:26:21,976
- [God] Jesus.
1752
01:26:24,479 --> 01:26:27,382
(ominous music)
1753
01:26:27,415 --> 01:26:29,817
(fire roaring)
1754
01:26:29,851 --> 01:26:32,420
- You've got to be kidding me.
1755
01:26:32,453 --> 01:26:35,089
- (chuckles) Oh, it's no joke, Sister.
1756
01:26:36,224 --> 01:26:38,259
You committed the gravest sin imaginable,
1757
01:26:39,661 --> 01:26:44,165
and for that you get to spend eternity here with me
1758
01:26:44,199 --> 01:26:47,902
where your flesh will be ripped from its bones,
1759
01:26:47,936 --> 01:26:52,106
your eyes gouged from their sockets,
1760
01:26:52,140 --> 01:26:54,776
and your limbs torn apart,
1761
01:26:55,977 --> 01:26:58,613
only so you can be put back together,
1762
01:26:58,646 --> 01:27:02,050
and have it done all over again,
1763
01:27:03,451 --> 01:27:08,056
and there's not a damn thing that you can do about. (laughs)
1764
01:27:09,424 --> 01:27:11,826
- Oh, there's something I can do about it.
1765
01:27:12,860 --> 01:27:15,396
- Oh, and what's that, child?
1766
01:27:16,564 --> 01:27:19,100
- I'm gonna kick your fucking ass.
1767
01:27:19,133 --> 01:27:19,934
(gun clicks)
1768
01:27:19,968 --> 01:27:22,470
(funky music)
1769
01:27:32,513 --> 01:27:34,115
- So you're not gonna talk, huh?
1770
01:27:36,618 --> 01:27:40,488
- Listen, how many times do I gotta tell ya,
1771
01:27:40,521 --> 01:27:42,957
I'm not saying anything to you pigs
1772
01:27:42,991 --> 01:27:45,159
until after I talk to my lawyer.
1773
01:27:48,062 --> 01:27:49,631
(door clicks) (suspenseful music)
1774
01:27:49,664 --> 01:27:50,465
(screen whooshes)
1775
01:27:50,498 --> 01:27:53,568
(funky music)
1776
01:27:53,601 --> 01:27:54,669
Oh, no.
1777
01:27:54,702 --> 01:27:57,639
(fist thuds) (brooding organ music)
1778
01:27:57,672 --> 01:27:59,574
What the hell was that?
1779
01:28:02,977 --> 01:28:05,480
- I ain't having none of that.
1780
01:28:07,115 --> 01:28:09,517
(rock music)
1781
01:28:26,501 --> 01:28:30,638
♪ Out of convent ♪
1782
01:28:30,672 --> 01:28:34,942
♪ And into the dark ♪
1783
01:28:34,976 --> 01:28:39,981
♪ She's striking fear into people's dark hearts ♪
1784
01:28:44,152 --> 01:28:46,754
♪ More than rapping the knuckles ♪
1785
01:28:46,788 --> 01:28:51,793
♪ Of the underworld at large ♪
1786
01:28:52,994 --> 01:28:56,698
♪ She's kicking ass for the Lord, man ♪
1787
01:28:56,731 --> 01:28:59,901
♪ She's taking charge ♪
1788
01:29:08,843 --> 01:29:10,611
♪ She's breaking the habit ♪
1789
01:29:10,645 --> 01:29:12,780
♪ She's out on the street ♪
1790
01:29:12,814 --> 01:29:17,352
♪ She's taking down names and she's packing God's heat ♪
1791
01:29:17,385 --> 01:29:19,487
♪ She's smacking the ruler ♪
1792
01:29:19,520 --> 01:29:21,122
♪ She's cutting the path ♪
1793
01:29:21,155 --> 01:29:25,860
♪ And if you think you'll make trouble, man ♪
1794
01:29:25,893 --> 01:29:27,729
♪ She's breaking the habit ♪
1795
01:29:27,762 --> 01:29:30,131
♪ She's out out on the street ♪
1796
01:29:30,164 --> 01:29:31,966
♪ She's taking down names ♪
1797
01:29:31,999 --> 01:29:34,469
♪ And she's packing God's heat ♪
1798
01:29:34,502 --> 01:29:36,604
♪ She's smacking the ruler ♪
1799
01:29:36,637 --> 01:29:38,473
♪ She's cutting the path ♪
1800
01:29:38,506 --> 01:29:42,110
♪ And if you think you'll make trouble, man ♪
1801
01:29:42,143 --> 01:29:45,747
♪ She'll have none of that ♪
1802
01:30:01,629 --> 01:30:06,634
♪ She's not afraid to follow the lion back to his den ♪
1803
01:30:10,271 --> 01:30:15,209
♪ She'll kick down the door with her nun boots ♪
1804
01:30:15,243 --> 01:30:20,248
♪ And then she'll crack some heads with her nunchucks ♪
1805
01:30:23,284 --> 01:30:26,020
♪ And you better pray ♪
1806
01:30:26,053 --> 01:30:28,289
♪ 'Cause when she blesses herself ♪
1807
01:30:28,322 --> 01:30:31,692
♪ And she pulls our her magnum ♪
1808
01:30:31,726 --> 01:30:34,962
♪ She'll blow you away ♪
1809
01:30:43,938 --> 01:30:46,040
♪ She's breaking the habit ♪
1810
01:30:46,073 --> 01:30:48,209
♪ She's out the street ♪
1811
01:30:48,242 --> 01:30:50,044
♪ She's taking down names ♪
1812
01:30:50,077 --> 01:30:52,580
♪ And she's packing God's heat ♪
1813
01:30:52,613 --> 01:30:54,715
♪ She's smacking the ruler ♪
1814
01:30:54,749 --> 01:30:56,484
♪ She's cutting the path ♪
1815
01:30:56,517 --> 01:31:01,255
♪ And if you think you'll make trouble, man ♪
1816
01:31:01,289 --> 01:31:03,324
♪ She's breaking the habit ♪
1817
01:31:03,357 --> 01:31:05,460
♪ She's out on the street ♪
1818
01:31:05,493 --> 01:31:07,328
♪ She's taking down names ♪
1819
01:31:07,361 --> 01:31:09,897
♪ And she's packing God's heat ♪
1820
01:31:09,931 --> 01:31:11,933
♪ She's smacking the ruler ♪
1821
01:31:11,966 --> 01:31:13,768
♪ She's cutting the path ♪
1822
01:31:13,801 --> 01:31:17,438
♪ And if you think you'll make trouble, man ♪
1823
01:31:17,472 --> 01:31:21,042
♪ She'll have none of that ♪
129275
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