All language subtitles for St.03 Ep.09 - Das süße Monster

(speaking German)

(loud banging on door)
(gasps)

Put the heaters away, boys.

This guy's a scientist,
not a soldier.

Now, toss the place
and find it.

Before der Führer
beats us to it.

(chalk writing on chalkboard)

ALARIC: I guess
the saying is true.

Those who don't learn
from history

are doomed to repeat it.

LANDON: Actually, the original
quote is from George Santayana,

who said, "Those who do not
remember the past

are condemned to repeat it."

Not that it really matters.

(chuckles)

It's good to have you
back, Landon.

But the monsters are back, too.

Yeah, I always miss
the good ones.

Like, first there was the mummy,
and then, and then a minotaur,

and now a leprechaun?

What did it want?
We believe Malivore sent it

to retrieve the Ascendant.
Makes sense.

Malivore can't meatsuit me
if he's stuck in a prison world,

so of course he wants
a way out.

That's not happening
on my watch.

Our watch.

Landon's safe.

But the rest of us...
not so much.

It's like you said,
history repeating itself,

doom... whatever.

With the Ascendant destroyed,

the monsters may be
after Landon now.

So let's focus.

After the leprechaun
came the Ferryman,

which Cleo summoned
to bring you back home.

Which is why I nominate Cleo
for the Super Squad.

More like nominate yourself
into her pants.

All in favor?

We're not exactly
on great terms,

but she brought
Landon back to me,

so she has my vote.

Well, that's a majority.
Motion passes.

Is it? Where is everyone?

Like, Josie and MG and, and...

the rest of the students?

Well, we've been having some
enrollment issues. (chuckles)

Yet another reason to get this
monster problem all sorted out.

Well, if history has
taught us anything,

it's that we need to find
whatever portal they're coming

out of and seal it up.
LIZZIE:
How?

By stepping in every puddle
in town and seeing

if we wind up in
an alternate hell dimension?

ALARIC: Well, I'm glad you
asked, Elizabeth, because that's

your assignment today.

If Cleo can summon a monster,

it stands to reason
she can summon another.

Perhaps a harmless one
who will talk

and give us answers
once we capture it.

Now, I expect you all
to work together while I'm gone,

harmoniously.

Wait, where you going that's
more important than this?

I'm going to see a supernatural
scholar about another lead.

We will summon this monster
when I get back.

Now, remember: harmoniously.

JOSIE: I can't even look at you
right now.

I mean, what kind
of mystery meat is that?

I'm gonna be honest.
I'm not sure.

But whatever it takes
to fit in

on my first day.
Good luck.

Mystic Falls is clique-ier
than The Salvatore School,

which has actual factions.

Over there is where
the jocks sit

with the mean girl
cheerleaders.

Well, she doesn't look
so mean to me.

Tori Thompson? Please.

The LARPers and comic book geeks
sit over there.

It's probably more
your speed.

Well, maybe at our last school,
but here,

we can be as cool
as we want to be.

How cool is that, exactly?

I see myself trying out
for the football team...

(female voices echoing)

...because Tori Thompson is
totally into me.

(laughs)

Yeah, she just told her friend.

Knock it off.
No vamp powers.

Relax, they don't even know.

Yeah, and we need to
keep it that way

or my dad is going to
yank us out of this school

so fast our heads
are gonna spin.

Okay, he's probably lurking
in the parking lot right now.

You're being paranoid.

Please, just try being
human with me.

Okay, fine. No powers.

But if this place is
so important to you,

why are we sitting here alone?

Mind if I join you guys?

Looks like there's
plenty of room.

That'd be cool, right?
Yeah, sure.

I'm MG.

I remember, from that
flag football game.

You transferred here, too?
Yeah.

And, um, speaking of football,
I was thinking of trying out.

You got any pointers?

Uh, study hard instead.
I just got cut.

LIZZIE:
I thought you were on my team.

And I am, because your dad said
that we all need to

work together on this one.

Well, he's not here,

and I am not working
with Hope Mikaelson.

Lizzie, the last time we
went against Doc's plans,

a leprechaun nearly killed him
with a necktie.

Maybe ponder that for a sec.

This is my pondering face, okay?

And that plan was still way
better than the one

that Hope came up with,
which could have sent Josie

to the dark side.

And at least
I'm doing something

instead of moping around
because MG left.

Okay, I can tell that
you're in a bad mood,

so I'm gonna refrain
from pointing out

your involvement in that, too.

Besides,
MG's probably

just out somewhere
taking a walk or something

to blow some steam off.

MG enrolled at Mystic Falls
this morning.

He'll be staying
with Josie in town.

Josie is his only friend there.
He'll be back in no time. Okay?

I hope so.

Because, as your new bestie,

you mooning over his comic books

is a little creepy.

Yeah, this is research.

Oh, yes.

The adventures of
trench coat guy and Tinker Bell.

First off, that's
John Constantine,

and you damn well know it.

Second, that
is a pixie.

A kinder, gentler version
of a genie...
(laughs)

As if genies even exist.

...that trades wishes
for favors.

So all we gotta do is
a solid for one of 'em,

wish for them
to close the portal as payback.

Our Malivore problem
is done and dusted. Boom.

Oh, damn.

That's that little ponder face
you were talking about.

What are you thinking?

It's classified.

LANDON:
I thought we were supposed

to be working with
Lizzie and Kaleb.

What is that?

The note Lizzie left
on the door to her room.

Hey, are you okay?

I mean, I've been picking up
on some weird tension.

Never better.

I've got you back.

That's all that matters anyway.

I'm not sure Lizzie
feels the same.

Yeah. I may have tried
to guilt Josie

into taking her magic back

to open a door
to save you,

but it didn't even happen,
so I don't know why

Lizzie's so bent out of shape.

Well, how would you have felt if
it had been me in danger

instead of Josie?
Oh, I'm sorry.

Whose side are you on?

Yours. Always.

I'm just saying

the reason you two are mad
at each other is because

you're more alike
than you think.

Take that back immediately.

You're both smart,
powerful witches

who'd do just about anything
for who or what you love.

I really hope you're wrong,
because if you're right,

I think I know what Lizzie's
about to do next.

I was unaware
you jogged, Lizzie.

I'm, uh, more of
a night runner.

It's normally so dark, in fact,
that you can't even see me.

Well, I always sprint
the last mile.

No pressure to keep up.
Wait!

And leave your mentor
in the dust?

I'm here to officially
welcome you--

Sculptress of Statuary,
Slayer of Small Ones--

as a member-elect
of the Super Squad.

Thank you... I think.

What is expected of me?

Merely one super-heroic event,

as approved by your
Super Squad mentor.

Meaning you.
Yes.

So lucky, right?

And I've already thought
of just the thing.

HOPE:
And I bet I know what that is.

You were gonna summon
a monster behind my back?

Please. Like you
weren't planning on

doing the same thing.

And knowing you,
you would have released

a Kraken with a Muppet allergy

that would have wiped
out the rest of us.

Okay, unlike you,

I actually listened
to your father,

so I was thinking cute,
talking, harmless.

Well, why don't you share
with the rest of the class?

Why don't we summon a cherub?

They're basically
flying babies.

LIZZIE:
With bows and arrows.

Cupid was a total bloodbath.

Remember?

Um, he wasn't actually Cupid,

and shouldn't we just wait
for Dr. Saltzman?

BOTH:
Stay out of this!

It doesn't matter
who he was,

because pixies
grant wishes.

Okay, so does a monkey's paw.
How would that work out?

You'll see.
Fire up that summoning spell.

I do not believe
that will be necessary.

The monster is already here.

(growling)

(purring)

Oh, that is the cutest
monster ever.

(babbling)

(giggling)

What is it?
I don't know.

But I want one.

(purring, chuckling)

Did you summon that thing?
No.

We must be wary.

(sneezes)
LIZZIE:
More like merry.

This thing could check
all of our boxes.

Now, somebody, quick,
throw a blanket over it

and we'll find out
if it can talk.

(high-pitched voice):
Screw you.

How's that for talking?

Grab it.

(laughing)

MONSTSER:
Too slow. Too slow!

(monster laughs maniacally)

Are you sure it went
this way?

Yes, Hope, I can hear it.

Are you two deaf and dumb?

Let's see if the thing is as
fireproof as it is critical.

HOPE:
No, don't.
See where these pipes lead?

MONSTER:
Okey-dokey. Just dumb. (laughs)

Regrettably,
you're right.

We need a song of ice
and not fire.

A quick Glae Solidatur

will freeze this little guy
in his tracks.

HOPE:
We want to interrogate it,
not kill it.

Remember?
I'll just cast immobilus.

Oh, great,
so it can drown in there.

(monster coughing)

Once again, Hope,

this is all your fault...

Yah! (squeaks)

MONSTER:
Smell you later, ladies...
Damn it.

(monster giggling)
Here. Let me help.

Like I've been saying all day,

I don't want your help.

I can't believe that you would
push me in here.

I didn't.
It was the monster.

You know what, Hope?

At least when I'm a bitch,

I own it.

Now, for the last time,

stay the hell out of my way.

People always get hurt
when you don't.

ALARIC: I really
appreciate your help.

Whatever you can do
to identify that would be great.

Anything for an old pal.

Especially the one
who helped me get this gig.

You deserve it.

How's, uh...

how's Emma?
Oh, we're solid.

Yeah. At least we will be

once she wraps up
this semester in Shanghai.

Ah.

Mac?
Mm...

Do I even want to know why
you're interested in this?

Well, we think
Malivore opened up

another portal somehow.

Monsters started appearing

once Hope and I opened up
that artifact,

and I just want to know
if it's a coincidence

or a... you know,
cause for concern.

I'll give you a call
as soon as I have information.

Unless y-you'd prefer
to stick around.

(chuckles) Why would
I want to do that?

(chuckles)

Because you could've
sent me photos

of this thing, Rick,
and called.

Your daughter
goes here

and now so does MG.

So, like you said--

coincidence or cause for concern?

I wish I knew.

Josie came in contact
with black magic.

Now, she checks out fine,
but, you know,

black magic can be tricky.

I hate the idea
of spying on her,

but, uh...

what do you have in mind?

I had a teacher
call in sick this morning.

I need a substitute.

Well...

my human history's a...
a little rusty, but...

(chuckles)

Who said it was history class?

(whistle blows)

ALARIC:
All right. Let's, um,

stretch the ham... hammies.

(sighs)

Paranoid, huh?

Your dad has questionable timing

and extremely
questionable taste

in athletic apparel.
But h-he's not...

A total spy?

That's fine. He can
spy all he wants

if there's nothing
for him to see.

So no using vamp
speed or strength

to impress
Tori-Crop-Top-Thompson

with your
soccer skills.

Promise?

(grunts softly)

(whispers):
Stop looking.

It's really hard. Okay.
Stop looking.

HOPE:
Too short.

Too green.
Mm.

Too Gimli.

(gasps) You remembered.

(laughs)

That's a lawn ornament.
This is pointless.

No, it's a process.
There are literally

thousands of wee folk
in mythology.

We just have to figure
out what this one is.

It would go a lot faster if we
could share notes with Lizzie.

Not an option.

Apparently, I'm hazardous
to everyone's health.

Okay.

Radical idea,
I know.

Have you thought
about apologizing

to her for pressuring Josie?
I can't.

And not because I don't want to.

But because if you
disappeared tomorrow,

I'd do it all over again.

Well, what brought me back was
something you hadn't thought of.

And I bet if you
and Lizzie had worked together,

you'd have found another way.

Yeah, but we didn't.

And I can't change the past.
Fair.

But you can change the present.

Starting with our current

adorable little
monster...

LIZZIE (over P.A.):
Good morning, Stallions.

This is The Salvatore School
Monster Warning Service.

There's yet another monster
on the loose,

but more on that later.

Because the true threat to all
our lives is Hope Mikaelson.

And not just 'cause
she has scabies.

(laughing maniacally)

Gotta go easy
on that arm.

Oh, that's right,
I need to.

Unless you need a Band-Aid
for that cut, QB None.

Oh, knock it off, Blake.

We can't all go 12 seasons

without taking a snap like you.

It's only been three.

Who am I to question your math?

Yeah, go ahead, bail.

Like you bailed on your family.

Worked out great.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Break it up, break it up.
Break it up.

All right, everyone go take

a couple laps
around the school. Go!

Not you.

Go pick up
some of those cones

and cool off.

(grunts)

After you go pick that up.

Go on, move.

JOSIE: What was
that about?

I don't know,
you tell me.

JOSIE: I don't know.
Everything's fine here.

Better than fine, actually.
It's perfect.
Huh.

Well, it doesn't seem
that way to me.

Ethan got cut from
the football team

and he's messed
up about it.

(horn blares)

(horn blaring)

Holy crap.

How did you just move that fast?

HOPE:
I cannot believe you.

Scabies? Really?

I have no idea
what you're talking about.

I was too busy washing
the chlorine out of my hair.

Though I can't say I disagree
with the spirit of the message.

Okay, let's do this.

I've saved you and this
school over a dozen times.

And how many times
have you put us all

in grave,
life-threatening danger?

It's a wash, Hope.

And the truth is,

you're only there for us

when you need something.

HOPE: Look,
I'm not proud

of what I asked Josie to do,
but let's be real:

you're the reason she went dark
in the first place.

LANDON:
Ding, ding. Round over.

Everyone back
to a neutral corner.

You two are not
making any sense.

Okay. Butt out, new girl.

You have no idea how deep
our history goes.

CLEO:
That is correct.

Which is why I am taking
both of you at your word.

If Hope says

she did not push
Lizzie into the pool,

then I believe her.

And if Lizzie

swears she did not make
that announcement,

then I believe her, too.

But we heard her voice.

CLEO: Perhaps
we should focus

on that fact.

And an explanation for it
that does not require

either of you
to be wrong.

The monster.

Sounds like I'm here
right on time.

Critter was just
in Doc's office.

LIZZIE:
God, you will do anything

to suck up to Cleo.

Killing monsters
does not impress me.

HOPE: No, he
didn't kill it.

It's molting.

What kind of creature
does that?

LIZZIE:
Butterflies?

Frogs?
Gremlins.

Oh, it is definitely
a gremlin.

Oh, awesome.

Finally. (laughs)

I mean, I mean...

LIZZIE:
I don't get it.

How does something so cute

become this?

Duh.
Feeding them after midnight.

Oh, come on.
You've never seen...

Disrespect.

Says it right here, nerd.

That's what gremlins feed on.

Okay, well, then the movie--

which you all still
should have seen--

obviously took
some artistic license.

Perhaps it is pitting the two
of you against one another.

Great.

We've been feeding it
an all-you-can-eat buffet.

The stronger it gets,
the more dangerous it is.

For Landon, right?

Wait, that's it.

If we want
to trap this thing,

we have the
perfect bait.

Do not look at my boyfriend
like he's a piece of cheese.

We are not...
Using me as bait

is a great idea.

I mean,

if Malivore wants me,
like always,

then the gremlin has no choice
but to come for me, right?

And we'll be waiting
when it does.

Look, the only way
this goes wrong

is if you two can't
work together.

It's all up to you two.

ALARIC:
This isn't about us, MG.

It's about
what's best for Ethan.
Is it?

Or is it more like keeping our
secrets safe at his expense?

JOSIE:
Burdening Ethan with it

won't end well, either.
Dad's right.

We can't risk it.
No offense,

Jo. But what are you
really worried about risking?

Do I get a vote?

Well, this isn't a democracy.

But we can hear what
you have to say.

I think it's really cool that
MG has superpowers, because...

...I'd be dead without them.

And I understand
why you'd want

to keep that a secret.

And I'm happy to keep it.

ALARIC: Yes,
I believe you.

But I made your mother a promise

that I'd look after you
and keep you safe.

MG?

Please compel him.

That's my
decision.

Compel me to do what?

There's no reason to be scared.

You had a bad day.

You got cut
from the football team

and you're
mad about it,

so you went home
after gym class.

But you're gonna wake up
tomorrow feeling better.

And you're gonna find
what makes you happy

that's not football,

then go after it.

But you're not going
to remember this conversation

or anything that
happened with us today.

I feel better already.

I don't remember a thing.

So you don't remember the thing
you're not supposed to remember?

Is there any possibility

that you told his mom
about vervain?

Mm.

Yeah.
Son of a bitch.

CLEO:
This is quite intense.

At least the dude's little.

Minotaurs,
gargoyles,

Headless Horseman--

that's when the real intensity
kicks in.

Hey.

It's okay.

You get used to it.

I do not want to.

I thought this school
was perfect for me--

secure, enlightened, creative.

But now I am unsure

if I wish to be a member
of your Squad.

Look, I used
to feel

the same way about this place.

Just take it from me: don't
let fear drive you away from...

something good.

Uh, especially when you don't
have anything to be afraid of.

From what you have
all told me,

Malivore is terrifying.

So explain how

I'm supposed to feel safe.

Uh...

Uh, maybe I, uh...

just...

totally misread
that whole situation. I'm...

sorry.

Ask again when our lives
are not in jeopardy.

I'm gonna go

get, uh, uh, another...
another book.

Yeah. Okay.

(growling)

HOPE:
It's here.

Then you were right.

You can use gremlin goo
to cast a locator spell.

All the more reason
to moisturize.

It's on the move. Get ready.

I don't mean to interrupt this
awesome teamwork on display,

but where do you need me,
exactly?

Anywhere is fine.

If you really
wanted to help,

you could slather yourself
in honey.

Uh, it doesn't matter.
It's not coming.

What do you mean?

He's right.
It's headed off-campus.

Oh, great.
You screwed up the spell.
The spell worked just fine.

Your attitude,
on the other hand?

Disrespect.

Remember?
Well, maybe
it ate so much

it's full.

Or Malivore's not after Landon.

Then who the hell

does he want?

(door opens)

The gremlin--
the gremlin took Cleo.

Put that down.
You're not coming.

Like hell. Cleo got grabbed on
my watch. I'm getting her back.

LIZZIE:
So you guys
uncovered how to

incapacitate/murder a gremlin

prior to her
being kidnapped?

No, but I will.
Personally.

Okay, who's
gonna stay here

and keep an eye on the school?
You mean Landon.

You miss the part where I suck
at protecting people?

LANDON:
Kaleb's right.

Not about the sucking.

And before you tell me
why I'm wrong,

there are, like, four other
students at this school

and the monster isn't
after me for once.

I don't need protection.

So let me handle
the research

while the three of you

handle finding Cleo together.

Because doing things the way
you have been doing them

is exactly what
the gremlin wants.

ETHAN:
Found it.

My mom said

it's an herbal supplement
to help with my arm.

She sends me the stuff
all the time.

(MG grunts)

Mm. Yeah.

That... Mm.

That stings like vervain.

Holy crap, is vervain
your kryptonite?

ALARIC:
When was the last time

you took one of those pills?

Uh, this morning,

before I worked out,
around 6:00.

A dose that size,

it should be out of your system

in a couple of hours.
Then you and MG can try

having that, uh,
conversation again.

If something different
than that happens,

give me a call.

Where are you going?

I think you and I need
to talk privately.

(door opens)

(door closes)

ETHAN:
I guess we got
time to kill.

Might as well tell me
your origin story.

Uh, I don't think
that's a good idea.

Why not?

You're just gonna wipe
my memory anyway, right?

Kind of like how

Zatanna mind-wiped Batman.
(scoffs)

In Identity Crisis
issue number six.

Yeah.

Hold on.

Hold on, hold on.
(laughs)

How'd you know?

All right, look,

I would never admit this
to anyone, but...

I've loved comic books
since I was a kid.

Wow. (laughs)

It's our secret, all right?

(both laugh)

This should be the spot.

Great. A literal cow pasture.

But, hey, pun intended.

That's supposed to be
good luck, right?

KALEB:
Pipe down
for a sec, Lizzie.

(indistinct sounds)
You hear that?

Of course you can't.

Cleo!
(grunts)

Hold on, okay?

Nice work.
Yeah.

Dissero.

Cleo, we can levitate you
out of there.

I said "we."
Doesn't this all seem
a bit too easy?

If I were a gremlin, why would
I leave Cleo in a place

that is so quick to find?

KALEB:
Who cares?

Maybe gremlins are dumb.
Or smart.

Or at least, as smart as we are.

I mean, it used Cleo as bait.

Just like we did with Landon.

You think?

(distant thudding)

(growling)

Call it a gut feeling.

(high-pitched roaring)

Fools!

(screeching)

How is it so big?

We've been kumbaya
since Landon's speech.

CLEO:
It is my fault.

I may have used
some colorful language

as it dragged me here.

Like they say,
the bigger they are...

So, what's plan B?
(horn honking)

(car door opens)

(roars)

No way.

He's like Gremzilla now!

And far less frightening than
I will be if you have scratched

my paint.

Focus, guys.

I figured out how to
defeat the gremlin.

Disrespect makes
the gremlin stronger,

and respect weakens it.

In hindsight, actually
makes a lot of sense.

Probably shouldn't have
taken hours of research.

So we have to respect
each other?

Ha. We're doomed.

You're a vampire?

Now, it's nowhere near as dope
as getting bitten

by some radioactive bat
or anything, but, uh,

yeah, it's the truth.

It's still cool as hell.
Super strength?

Super speed? The blood
thing is a bit of a bummer,

but the only bad part
was your mom and dad

not accepting you
for what you are.

Yeah.

That part was, uh,
definitely rough.

My story's the opposite.

My mom's done everything
she can to support me,

even letting me stay
here in Mystic Falls

to let me make the
most of what I got.

Which isn't much,
compared to you.

But that's why getting
cut hurts so much,

'cause I don't know
how to tell her.

Or who I am without football.

Wait, can you compel that
into me?

Uh... Yeah.

But, um,

I'd rather help you figure
that out on the other side.

Well, I'm curious
about your next move.

What do you mean?

Well, you can say that
you're not a superhero,

but that's a load of crap.

If there's one thing guys
like us know, with great power

comes great
responsibility.

So how are you gonna use
those powers for good?

(watch beeping)

(beeping stops)

The, um, vervain
should be out of your system.

Hey, can I ask a favor first?

Don't take everything away.

Uh, leave the part
where we met today.

Why?

Because we're friends now,
right?

And I-I could really use one
right about now.

KALEB:
What are you waiting for?

Start complimenting each other
while I go distract this thing.

(roars)

I like the color of your hair.

I also like the color
of your hair. And the cut.

Although the one before it
did frame your face better.

Seriously?

Respect has to be genuine.

You guys have to understand
that despite your differences,

there's a lot you two
have in common.
LIZZIE: Disagree.

I would have never made
the choice that Hope did.

Josie could have died.

(whoops)

Here. Grab this.

I'm sorry about that.

I never meant to hurt
your sister or you.

I just didn't know
what else to do.

Well, I guess

the way that you put
Landon first 24/7

is kind of like what I do
with Josie, and myself.

Maybe in the past,
but you've changed, Lizzie.

And honestly, I wish I
could be as proactive

as you when it comes
to bettering myself.

LANDON:
Okay, come on, Cleo.

You got this.

And I wish I had
your confidence.

I can only imagine
what it's like

to not second-guess myself
all the time.

To always be the hero.

Y-You're doing it!

It's shrinking!

Well, I'd trade
my confidence

for your brutal honesty.

And your ability to
coordinate outfits.

(chuckles)
Well, that can be arranged.

If you teach me your badass,
icy glare.

LANDON:
Come on.

You got this.

We got this.

Not so big now, huh?

I'm sorry about today.

Might be new,
but you are totally Squad.

Welcome to your
first mission.

Let us blast this thing.

Where did it go?

It's right here.

(high-pitched whimpering)

It is only a matter of time

until I return
to my magnificent form...

Hmm. At least we know
it still talks.

Yeah. You know, we better
get a "A" on this assignment.

I want to take
the little thing

and put it in a mason jar
and just give it to Doc S.

So long as we respect one
another the entire time

it remains in captivity,
for if we do not...

I don't love those odds.

You thinking
what I'm thinking?

More often than I care to admit.

(gremlin squealing)

How was your first day back?

LANDON:
Exhausting.

Well, at least the thread count
is better here than in Malivore.

(chuckles)

Don't leave this bed, ever.

I wish that were
the answer.

♪ We'll draw the curtain ♪

♪ To never leave home ♪

There's something on your mind.
What's up?

♪ I had a nightmare ♪

♪ Ah, ah... ♪

I don't really
know the words

to express how much I appreciate
what you did for me.

But I don't want my being back
to be a burden to you.

Or to anyone else.

You're not a burden.

And even if you were,
I mean, I can handle it.

You're everything to me.

You've more
than proven that, but...

maybe that's the problem.
No.

The problem was that you were
stuck in a hell dimension.

Now that I'm not,

I don't want to come between you

or any of our friends
ever again.

Which means I can't
be everything to you.

It clearly breeds resentment.

I don't care.

As long as I have you.

That's the thing, Hope--
you always will.

So maybe worry
about having me

a little less
and having everyone else more.

♪ Ah, ah... ♪

If I was right
about the gremlin,

maybe I'm right about this.

There's enough
Hope Mikaelson to go around.

♪ This is how you fall in love ♪

I don't remember you being
this perfect.

Absence makes the heart
grow fonder.

♪ So pull me tight
and close your eyes ♪

If I'm gonna take your advice,

I think that there's
somewhere I need to be.

♪ Oh, my love, side to side... ♪

JOSIE:
This isn't the conversation

I thought we'd be having.

Not that I'm complaining.
(chuckles)

Thanks for walking me here.

Oh, wow.
I am amazed

at how perfectly
they rebuilt this place.

(scoffs)

The shutters may have
changed a bit.

But then again,
haven't we all?
(chuckles)

Pull up a step.
Humor your old man.

What did you think
we were gonna talk about?

Oh, I don't know...

me being willing
to do black magic with Hope,

thus losing my chance to go to
Mystic Falls High and live here.

Yeah, well...

That would be
pretty hypocritical.

I understand
why you did it.

I don't condone it,

but I know you were
just trying to make up

for a past mistake.

Kind of like I'm trying to do.

With the portal?

No. I'm talking about us, Jo.

You know, there is

nothing more important to me
than you and your sister.

And maybe
you'd know that

if I said it more,
instead of just...

(inhales deeply) ...showing up
and buying milkshakes.

I do know that, Dad.

Never stop
buying me milkshakes, okay?

Deal.

(both chuckle softly)

You know you
can talk to me.

Right?

About anything.

I don't want to keep each other
in the dark,

like Ethan and Mac,

no matter how noble
our intentions are.

Just...

Just trying to let you go
a little, you know.

Let you grow up.

(takes deep breath)

You know, it's hard.

It's really hard.
(sniffles)

You know, like, Malivore's...

(chuckles):
...way easier.
(laughs)

Oh, man.

On that note...

I, uh...

I'm gonna head back
to the school.

Or you could stay for dinner.

Aunt Elena's gonna be home soon
from her shift,

and she's planning
on making some

old Salvatore family recipe.

(laughs)
(chuckles)

Plus, there's still stuff
for us to talk about.

Yeah?

Like wh-what?

Um...

I know I make it seem

like everything's perfect
at Mystic Falls,

but, um...

There's this girl at school.

It's...

it's complicated.

Yeah.

Well, in that case,

Malivore can wait.

Besides,
the last person I want

giving you
relationship advice is Damon.

(both laughing)

(groans)

♪ A heart that's scorned ♪

♪ A new love born ♪

♪ Thought I had it
under control, yeah ♪

♪ Thought I had it
under control... ♪

CLEO:
Why are we going
the long way home?

KALEB:
It'll be worth it.

Watching the stars
in the Falls is...

magic, like you.

♪ When I knew I had
to let it go ♪

Plus, I want to stop
and check in on MG.

You miss him so much already?

I can't help it.
(chuckles)

MG's my guy.

no matter how much
he pissed me off.

And if Hope and Lizzie
can mend fences,

no reason why we can't.

Do all Malivore monsters provide
this level of emotional insight?

(chuckles):
Now that I think about it, yeah.

'Cause I just can't stop
thinking about him being alone

at this school
with no new friends except Jo,

and...
ETHAN:
Go deep!

I said go deep.

Come on, man.

My arm's not that washed up.

All right.

♪ Da, da, di, da, da ♪

♪ Da, di, da, da ♪

ETHAN:
You should've had that.

♪ Da, di, da, da ♪

I quite enjoy the Falls.

Come with me.

I know a shortcut.

MG:
Usain Bolt wouldn't
have had that.

And he's nowhere near
as fast as you.

And how freaking sweet
is that?

Dude, come on.

You got to keep it down, E.

♪ Baby, a fool ♪

Our secret, right?

Let's go.

(owl hooting)

HOPE:
What do you think
you're doing?

And don't you dare say jogging.

I'm looking
for the portal.

I figured the monster
was taking Cleo to it,

and that if I could find it, you
might be able to finally chill.

I'm admittedly bad at chill.

Same.

Maybe we can work on it
together?

Landon and I are gonna
watch a movie tonight.

What happened to being
brutally honest?

You don't want
a third wheel.

Remember that time I said
I was working on myself?

I don't know.

Because as much
as we may share in common,

there's something we don't.

Your going to extremes
got you what you wanted.

But Josie isn't here for me.

And as much as I try
to be tough like you...

I just...

miss her.

Well, we can make popcorn.

What movie are we watching?

Gremlins.

Ugh. Yep.
(laughs)

Landon is back, all right.

HOPE:
Any luck with the portal?

LIZZIE:
No.

I have no idea where the
monsters are coming from.

Hopefully they'll just stop.

♪ ♪

This is an unexpected visit.

Your bourbon's better than mine.

Well, you better
make it a double,

'cause I'm way ahead of you.

Actually, you're not.

You found out
what the artifact is.
No.

But I have seen it before.

Is that...
Albert Einstein.

Look at his bookshelf.

I'll be damned.

At least he's one of
the good guys, right?

If you overlook
the atomic bomb.

These two,
on the other hand...

far more questionable.

ALARIC:
Rasputin.

And Napoleon Bonaparte.

I'm gonna go with
"cause for concern."