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That will surely be a catastrophe.
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But what a typical English sailor boy
you are, to be sure.
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Splash the men, please.
4
00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:49,080
What'll it be then, gents?
5
00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:51,580
Bitter? One bitter coming up.
6
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Nine! Nine bitters coming up.
7
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Give us a kiss and show us your
knickers.
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Say what?
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Being typical British servicemen, we
shall have a typical British drink. We
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have a swipe.
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Two martinis.
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Dry? Nein, dry.
13
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I mean, no, two.
14
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Just two martinis.
15
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I see we've got that big fat pig going
on a run, ain't we, eh?
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Fat pig.
17
00:01:20,450 --> 00:01:21,550
Great fat pig.
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I've got more brains than him. I'm only
half his size.
19
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I beg your pardon?
20
00:01:51,370 --> 00:01:54,250
It's construed what I'm about to say to
you, but I'm going to tell you about the
21
00:01:54,250 --> 00:01:55,350
women in my life.
22
00:01:55,870 --> 00:01:59,050
Now, I know some gals are real refined,
but they always tend to get the other
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kind, and maybe that's why I've never
found a wife.
24
00:02:02,090 --> 00:02:05,650
Now, I used to know a gal in Crewe. She
was five foot two. She had eyes of blue,
25
00:02:05,690 --> 00:02:07,850
and she told me that her name was
Lottie.
26
00:02:08,350 --> 00:02:12,070
But I think she was funny in the head.
She used to sleep underneath the bed.
27
00:02:12,070 --> 00:02:14,150
parents thought she was a little potty.
28
00:02:14,750 --> 00:02:18,270
I kind of liked the way she smiled, so I
went around with her for a while, and I
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00:02:18,270 --> 00:02:20,110
kind of thought of her as my bride -to
-be.
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00:02:21,390 --> 00:02:24,770
Hey, you're the one gal in my life I'd
like to have you for my wife. She said,
31
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now what would your wife do with me?
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Beware of wild women, those wild, wild
women. Those wild, wild women around.
33
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Beware of wild women, those wild, wild
women. And never let them take you down.
34
00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:42,990
Now one day I met a movie star. She's
just getting out of a Rolls Royce car.
35
00:02:43,190 --> 00:02:45,150
She's all covered in diamonds and mink.
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00:02:46,990 --> 00:02:49,810
gal with money, and this one, she was a
real honey. I said, maybe one day you
37
00:02:49,810 --> 00:02:51,090
and I could have a little drink.
38
00:02:51,690 --> 00:02:55,430
She said, you're just my kind of man.
She stuck a phone number in my hand. She
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00:02:55,430 --> 00:02:57,470
said, call me up next time that you're
in town.
40
00:02:57,890 --> 00:03:01,830
I said, is this your penthouse? She
said, no, fish and chip shop down below,
41
00:03:01,830 --> 00:03:03,690
you just call me up and they'll call me
down.
42
00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:07,870
Now, I was in a Chelsea bar one day.
There's a chap stood about 10 feet away.
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00:03:07,870 --> 00:03:09,450
was both admiring a girl about 21.
44
00:03:10,510 --> 00:03:13,590
I said, you just can't help but stare at
the cute little chick with the long
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00:03:13,590 --> 00:03:15,990
blonde hair. He said, that chick just
happens to be my son.
46
00:03:16,700 --> 00:03:20,760
I said, I didn't mean to offend you. You
must let me make amends. At least let
47
00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:22,280
me buy you another rum.
48
00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:26,760
I said, you must think me an awful cat.
I didn't know you was his dad. He said,
49
00:03:26,820 --> 00:03:28,520
I'm not your twit. I'm his mom.
50
00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:52,940
It's a nice hat, isn't it?
51
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,540
It's got the little selfridges in the
restaurant.
52
00:03:56,860 --> 00:04:01,040
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the
show, and it's nice to welcome back my
53
00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:05,380
friend Nicholas Parsons, and here he is
talking to the children of St. Solomon's
54
00:04:05,380 --> 00:04:07,840
School. And what are you drawing?
55
00:04:08,140 --> 00:04:09,680
I'm going to do a picture.
56
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:11,120
Oh,
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00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:13,120
dear God.
58
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:17,019
Oh, dear God. Oh, dear God.
59
00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:22,780
Billy at the tuck shop gave him all
little girl chocolate dollies and he
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00:04:22,780 --> 00:04:24,440
boy chocolate dollies.
61
00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:26,760
There isn't that much difference, is
there?
62
00:04:27,060 --> 00:04:28,880
Oh, how much is a girl's chocolate?
63
00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:31,740
He said, no, but there's that much more
chocolate.
64
00:04:32,140 --> 00:04:37,760
He's silly. I know he's my brother, but
he's still silly.
65
00:04:38,300 --> 00:04:42,880
I sleep by myself. I'm not afraid to
sleep by myself, but he is.
66
00:04:43,220 --> 00:04:45,020
And so is Mummy.
67
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:50,500
Yes, she is. Because when Daddy goes
away for the weekend, Mummy always has
68
00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:52,080
have Uncle Percy come and see me.
69
00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:59,020
He's not my real uncle. What?
70
00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:03,000
What did you say?
71
00:05:03,620 --> 00:05:08,060
I'm not sure, but it's something about
modern permissive trends upsetting the
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00:05:08,060 --> 00:05:13,380
fabric of present -day society. I told
you he was silly, didn't I? He was
73
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:14,740
I've nearly finished now.
74
00:05:15,070 --> 00:05:17,510
What's it going to be? It's going to be
a picture of God.
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00:05:18,930 --> 00:05:23,110
I know maybe it knows what God looks
like, but I haven't finished my picture
76
00:05:23,110 --> 00:05:24,550
yet, have I? Oh, shut up.
77
00:05:25,810 --> 00:05:27,150
Come, mother, do help.
78
00:05:27,430 --> 00:05:28,890
Oh, look, leaves.
79
00:05:31,310 --> 00:05:32,310
Well,
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00:05:33,910 --> 00:05:40,730
today we're letting them paint anything
they like and... He appears
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00:05:40,730 --> 00:05:41,730
a lady.
82
00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:46,060
She have no clothes on.
83
00:05:46,540 --> 00:05:48,620
She have no dress.
84
00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:51,360
She have no shoes.
85
00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:53,220
No stockings.
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00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:55,320
No knickers.
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00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:59,960
She is a naked lady.
88
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:06,300
And the gentleman, he is a naked too.
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00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:09,460
The gentleman is very fond of the lady.
90
00:06:11,020 --> 00:06:12,780
What is your name?
91
00:06:19,460 --> 00:06:22,320
We have to draw what we want to be when
we're grown up.
92
00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:27,240
She wants to be married, but she don't
know how to draw it.
93
00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:31,520
I do. It's all like fighting and
screaming and kicking and shooting and
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00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:33,100
babies. And I know.
95
00:06:33,940 --> 00:06:34,879
You never.
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00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:38,900
I do know, because me dad said to me, do
you want to have a little baby brother
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00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:40,500
or would you like to have a little baby
sister?
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00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:41,820
And what did you say?
99
00:06:42,250 --> 00:06:45,110
I said, if it wouldn't put me ma 'am to
too much trouble, I'd like a pony.
100
00:06:47,070 --> 00:06:50,450
And he said, no, it's the stock, and
it's going to come flying round our
101
00:06:50,570 --> 00:06:53,210
It's going to fly in round and round.
It's going to fly right in the window of
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00:06:53,210 --> 00:06:57,030
me ma 'am's bedroom there. And I said, I
hope it don't upset me ma 'am, because
103
00:06:57,030 --> 00:06:58,150
she's in the family way.
104
00:07:00,150 --> 00:07:02,670
What do you want to be when you grow up?
I'm going to be a boxer.
105
00:07:03,130 --> 00:07:06,230
I know about fighting. You can't. I know
about fighting, I do.
106
00:07:06,610 --> 00:07:11,310
I do. I beat Ginger Tompkins, and I had
Lofty Bat on the floor at the
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00:07:11,310 --> 00:07:13,140
playground. And she's in the big girls.
108
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:18,540
My dad, he wants me to become a prime
minister, but I don't want to do that,
109
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because I don't want to go sailing the
boat all the time. I should be sitting
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00:07:23,620 --> 00:07:25,680
the deck, and I should be sitting on the
floor.
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00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:39,960
We're trespassing, you know.
112
00:07:41,140 --> 00:07:44,720
Water bailiff, he said so, and he don't
think of his trespassers, not him, once
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00:07:44,720 --> 00:07:45,720
he caught me with me rod.
114
00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:48,300
He said, you dirty, rotten, sloppy clod.
115
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:52,940
He said, you're fishing. I said, no, I'm
teaching the worm to swim.
116
00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:58,800
He said, I've told you twice before,
poaching salmon is against the law.
117
00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:02,880
I suppose you're up to get one in your
neck. I said, I'm after stickleback
118
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:06,300
He said, oh, what are they like? I said,
I don't know, I ain't caught one yet.
119
00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:10,130
I used to have trouble with my flies.
120
00:08:12,550 --> 00:08:16,490
And then Joe here put me wise. God, he
knows all about fishing that there is to
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00:08:16,490 --> 00:08:21,050
tell. Do you know, I've known him tickle
a trout and then, like lightning, whip
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00:08:21,050 --> 00:08:22,050
it out.
123
00:08:22,370 --> 00:08:24,150
I've known him catch a girl that way as
well.
124
00:08:26,990 --> 00:08:31,650
Here, once we took a boat out in the
bay, 40 cod we got that day.
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00:08:31,890 --> 00:08:34,549
Told you I'd find you a good place, says
Joe with pride.
126
00:08:34,890 --> 00:08:36,409
Well, it's market then, says Pat.
127
00:08:36,710 --> 00:08:40,120
I says, are we going to do that? That
isn't easy. Put a chalk mark on the
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00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:44,980
I says, that is diabolical. That's
stupid. That's illogical.
129
00:08:45,340 --> 00:08:48,980
I says, mark the side with chalk, you
silly goat. I says, if we come down this
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00:08:48,980 --> 00:08:52,300
way and fish us another day, chances are
we get a different boat.
131
00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:57,120
He says,
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00:08:57,900 --> 00:09:04,080
he says, the Heskimos cuts all in the
ice, floats on some peas and waits quiet
133
00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:04,959
as voice.
134
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,520
Open to catch a cod or a hake or a nice
sole.
135
00:09:08,980 --> 00:09:12,720
He says, they wait there patiently until
the fish comes up for a pee.
136
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,120
He says, what then? He says, they kick
him in the eyes off.
137
00:09:21,860 --> 00:09:25,120
Once he told our local barmaid how one
day he caught a mermaid.
138
00:09:25,380 --> 00:09:27,300
He said, I got her just off Plymouth
Town.
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Her bust it measured 42, her waist it
measured 22, and the rest of her was 18
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00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:33,040
pence a pound.
141
00:09:34,319 --> 00:09:35,980
Dear, oh, Lord, he's a lad, isn't he?
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00:09:36,900 --> 00:09:38,680
Here, once he took out fidgety flow.
143
00:09:38,940 --> 00:09:41,360
She says, isn't that swan swimming slow?
144
00:09:41,860 --> 00:09:46,040
And there's the horse, and there's the
cow, and that pig's a boar. And, oh,
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00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:49,420
at that, Joe. He says, all right, love,
I know. She says, what do you want to go
146
00:09:49,420 --> 00:09:50,420
and threaten it for?
147
00:09:52,620 --> 00:09:55,080
He married her one day.
148
00:09:55,540 --> 00:09:57,020
What, it was a tiddler on the way.
149
00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:01,180
And he was born. We all wanted to know
the weight. He says, he weighs near
150
00:10:01,180 --> 00:10:02,180
enough a pound.
151
00:10:02,620 --> 00:10:05,740
So Charlie, he turns round, he says, go
on, you only just got back your boat.
152
00:10:13,300 --> 00:10:18,720
He'd be a young man today, going his own
pop -happy way, chasing some
153
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:19,920
unattainable dream.
154
00:10:20,590 --> 00:10:24,350
But perhaps when he's older and a bit
more wise, he'll begin to realise the
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00:10:24,350 --> 00:10:25,630
of just sitting by a stream.
156
00:10:25,910 --> 00:10:30,770
For in a world filled with aggression
and hate and fear and depression, an
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00:10:30,770 --> 00:10:32,750
out here, oh, you just don't know what
it's worth.
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00:10:33,530 --> 00:10:36,670
Spend an hour with fishermen, and you'll
find peace again.
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00:10:37,030 --> 00:10:40,610
They're the most peaceful, kindly
gentlemen on earth.
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00:10:41,190 --> 00:10:42,190
I got one!
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00:10:42,210 --> 00:10:44,110
I got one! I got one!
162
00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:04,900
Howdy, all you folks out there in
television land.
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00:17:07,079 --> 00:17:09,760
I come up here this time, I come over on
an airplane.
164
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:13,339
I don't know you folks remember the
first time you ever went up in an
165
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:16,060
Sure, it's a lot scarier, isn't it? You
know, first thing you happen, you sit
166
00:17:16,060 --> 00:17:18,800
down, this sassy little gal come along
and she straps you in your seat.
167
00:17:19,560 --> 00:17:24,220
Then she sort of hovers over you, you
know, with that tight white blouse fit
168
00:17:24,220 --> 00:17:25,220
bust.
169
00:17:26,260 --> 00:17:27,980
She says, anything I can do for you.
170
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,140
I said, I've had a lot of good when you
hogtied there, isn't it?
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00:17:32,810 --> 00:17:36,410
And in comes another sassy little gal.
Oh, she's pushing a trolley. On that
172
00:17:36,410 --> 00:17:37,890
trolley, there is everything.
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00:17:38,330 --> 00:17:39,410
There is whiskey.
174
00:17:39,630 --> 00:17:40,609
There is gin.
175
00:17:40,610 --> 00:17:42,350
There is Martina.
176
00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:46,170
There is Duboni.
177
00:17:47,290 --> 00:17:48,530
Bo Jolly.
178
00:17:49,910 --> 00:17:50,910
Pam Perry.
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00:17:56,270 --> 00:17:59,510
That ain't for you. That's going up the
front of the airport.
180
00:18:01,710 --> 00:18:03,330
You won't know who's up the front of the
airplane.
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00:18:03,770 --> 00:18:05,070
The driver, that too.
182
00:18:05,930 --> 00:18:10,090
And he starts talking at you. He says,
uh, this is your captain speaking.
183
00:18:11,310 --> 00:18:13,810
He got like a deep, rich, brown voice.
184
00:18:14,190 --> 00:18:16,790
That sort of lulled you into a false
sense of security.
185
00:18:17,570 --> 00:18:21,730
I mean, that might not be his normal
voice.
186
00:18:25,050 --> 00:18:28,610
I mean, only flower I ever knew had a
voice so high, only people that could
187
00:18:28,610 --> 00:18:29,630
understand him was dogs.
188
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:34,739
his old Paris.
189
00:18:34,740 --> 00:18:36,040
He used to make his own dresses.
190
00:18:38,020 --> 00:18:42,980
And he says, uh, I'd like to welcome you
aboard this here Boeing airplane.
191
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,300
That's the right name for airplane,
isn't it? Boeing.
192
00:18:49,380 --> 00:18:53,640
Not Speedy or High Flyer or something
like that, but Boeing.
193
00:18:55,020 --> 00:18:56,880
Well, you know what I sound like, don't
you, Boeing?
194
00:18:57,220 --> 00:18:59,320
I sound like a piece just dropped off.
Boeing!
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00:19:07,470 --> 00:19:10,790
I says to myself, our plane gonna be
flying 30 ,000 feet.
196
00:19:11,190 --> 00:19:14,250
You get your hands on that gin bottle,
you gonna be flying 50 ,000 feet.
197
00:19:15,450 --> 00:19:18,930
Anyway, I get over here. You know the
thing I like over here about you English
198
00:19:18,930 --> 00:19:21,590
people? I like your natural health
service.
199
00:19:21,810 --> 00:19:22,749
I like that.
200
00:19:22,750 --> 00:19:26,210
Because you know, back home in Little
Creek, they charge you $5 just to look
201
00:19:26,210 --> 00:19:28,850
down your throat and $30 to look up your
birth certificate.
202
00:19:32,410 --> 00:19:34,370
I don't like your quarantine.
203
00:19:35,370 --> 00:19:37,890
People are there so much, though,
because they wouldn't let me bring my
204
00:19:37,890 --> 00:19:40,390
I've got two dogs. I've got two
loveliest little dogs you've ever seen
205
00:19:40,390 --> 00:19:43,630
life. I've got a little Dachshund. A
little Dachshund that's like a dog and a
206
00:19:43,630 --> 00:19:44,690
half long and half a dog high.
207
00:19:46,550 --> 00:19:49,290
I like him because all the kids can pet
him at the same time.
208
00:19:50,410 --> 00:19:53,590
And I feel sorry for him when we get
snow on the ground because he's got
209
00:19:53,590 --> 00:19:54,590
short legs.
210
00:19:55,430 --> 00:19:56,830
I feel sorry for that little boy.
211
00:19:57,230 --> 00:20:02,190
Anyway, I absolutely feel sorry for him.
We've got an Afghan.
212
00:20:02,490 --> 00:20:03,490
He's a high...
213
00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:11,140
My wife trained him to do his little
bits of business on the newspaper while
214
00:20:11,140 --> 00:20:12,140
reading it.
215
00:20:15,620 --> 00:20:18,700
Anyway, wouldn't let me bring my dog, so
I brought my wife over with me.
216
00:20:19,020 --> 00:20:21,140
Well, I saved kissing her goodbye, you
know.
217
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,700
Because I sure as heck don't like
kissing her goodbye.
218
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,580
Only time I ever kiss her is when I
can't find a table napkin.
219
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:32,300
She's over here now.
220
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,940
We're going to sing at you. I don't know
why you're doing us no harm.
221
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:38,840
Anyway, here she is, Roundtree. I call
her Roundtree on account of her clear
222
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:39,840
gums. Come on, gal.
223
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:41,740
It's up in the music, Barry. Come on.
224
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:49,240
Now, down on the farm, everything that
you did, it seemed so right somehow.
225
00:20:49,740 --> 00:20:53,780
Like the way you always warmed your
hands before you milked the cow.
226
00:20:54,180 --> 00:20:58,220
And that old muley up and kicked me in
the head one day.
227
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:02,230
The tears. roll down my cheeks as I saw
the formula limp away.
228
00:21:02,710 --> 00:21:06,970
That day you helped a poor old lady
across the street in the snow.
229
00:21:07,210 --> 00:21:11,190
Believe me, it wasn't easy. She didn't
want to go.
230
00:21:11,610 --> 00:21:15,590
I said I didn't smoke or drink and that
necking wasn't wise.
231
00:21:16,310 --> 00:21:17,990
I said, what do you do then?
232
00:21:18,190 --> 00:21:20,050
And you answered, I tell lies.
233
00:21:29,450 --> 00:21:30,770
Came round your house a -courting.
234
00:21:31,070 --> 00:21:32,850
Late on a Saturday night.
235
00:21:33,170 --> 00:21:35,250
I said I don't want to see you.
236
00:21:35,470 --> 00:21:37,230
So I switched out the light.
237
00:21:37,730 --> 00:21:41,610
Later that night you banged on my door
and started to holler and shout.
238
00:21:41,890 --> 00:21:45,930
You kicked up such a rumpus that I had
to let you out.
239
00:21:46,190 --> 00:21:50,510
And to that painful wedding by my father
you will go dead.
240
00:21:50,970 --> 00:21:52,410
That marriage was illegal.
241
00:21:52,650 --> 00:21:54,510
The shotgun wasn't loaded.
242
00:21:55,010 --> 00:21:56,790
Last week I saw you with the butcher.
243
00:21:57,260 --> 00:21:59,040
You were kissing and cuddling and such.
244
00:21:59,260 --> 00:22:03,460
Oh, how could you kiss the butcher when
we owe the milkman so much?
245
00:22:03,660 --> 00:22:07,640
The days are far behind me. They're in
the long ago.
246
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:12,960
They only serve to remind me just how I
love you so.
247
00:22:27,070 --> 00:22:29,810
With Oliver Twith, featuring Nancy...
248
00:23:08,680 --> 00:23:09,680
Get these out.
249
00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:17,140
Could somebody get me rice pudding?
Could you order me rice pudding?
250
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,340
Then send in the prisoner.
251
00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:27,920
No more whipping!
252
00:23:28,220 --> 00:23:30,500
No more beatings! I beg of you!
253
00:23:32,780 --> 00:23:37,840
Tell me the name of the man who saved my
brother's life and you shall go free.
254
00:23:39,510 --> 00:23:42,870
The name of the man who saved your
brother's life.
255
00:24:08,590 --> 00:24:11,510
why all we thought is enemy. But why?
256
00:24:11,970 --> 00:24:14,510
The reason will be most rewarding.
257
00:24:15,610 --> 00:24:18,190
Send in the Duke of Dundee.
258
00:24:21,090 --> 00:24:27,930
You sent for
259
00:24:27,930 --> 00:24:28,930
me, Your Majesty?
260
00:24:30,290 --> 00:24:31,530
Even a queen.
261
00:24:31,790 --> 00:24:34,690
must thank the man who saved the life of
her brother.
262
00:24:35,330 --> 00:24:39,130
Come, my lord of Denby, give me your
hand.
263
00:24:39,850 --> 00:24:42,370
Nay, my lord, the other hand.
264
00:24:43,650 --> 00:24:44,650
Nay.
265
00:24:45,910 --> 00:24:48,930
Nay, my lord, both hands.
266
00:24:51,650 --> 00:24:54,450
She didn't have to have both hands, did
she? Could have done it with one.
267
00:24:54,830 --> 00:24:56,950
I can't let the bloody thing off, can I?
268
00:24:57,610 --> 00:24:58,610
Oh, dear.
269
00:24:58,710 --> 00:24:59,910
Hello, Madge.
270
00:25:05,550 --> 00:25:09,530
Not if they look like that. They are.
Oh, it's all about washing up. Oh, you
271
00:25:09,530 --> 00:25:11,230
want to try barmolive, my dear.
272
00:25:11,610 --> 00:25:12,610
That's washing up liquid.
273
00:25:12,990 --> 00:25:14,170
That's what your hands are in now.
274
00:25:14,630 --> 00:25:15,930
Oh. Oh, yes.
275
00:25:16,350 --> 00:25:18,530
Oh, barmolive is especially mild.
276
00:25:18,750 --> 00:25:23,210
And there's none gentler. Oh, barmolive
will keep your hands lovely and soft.
277
00:25:23,270 --> 00:25:25,010
Wait. You see what I do?
278
00:25:34,220 --> 00:25:38,160
So bloody rough. Then send in the
traitor.
279
00:25:38,540 --> 00:25:42,300
Aye, I'll send in him.
280
00:25:43,340 --> 00:25:47,100
To think a captain of the guard could
treat his queen so.
281
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,260
He shall pay dearly for this.
282
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:54,700
Captain, I would speak with you.
283
00:26:05,930 --> 00:26:06,930
I can hear thee.
284
00:26:07,190 --> 00:26:10,150
I can hear thee full well from here,
your majesty.
285
00:26:10,410 --> 00:26:12,330
I command you to come here.
286
00:26:14,610 --> 00:26:18,590
I couldn't have heard of that there,
John.
287
00:26:20,250 --> 00:26:21,510
It's not my fault.
288
00:26:22,750 --> 00:26:24,750
Well, could you get a welder, then?
289
00:26:26,050 --> 00:26:29,830
Another fine day here in Sherwood
Forest.
290
00:26:30,090 --> 00:26:31,210
What say you to that?
291
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,520
Splendid day for hanging a sheriff.
292
00:26:41,700 --> 00:26:46,640
Hold hard.
293
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:49,940
Hanging's too good for him.
294
00:26:51,260 --> 00:26:52,760
What do you say to that, eh, little
John?
295
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:55,040
No.
296
00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:00,800
I told you to keep to the left. I did
keep to the left.
297
00:27:01,180 --> 00:27:05,560
Shut that door, then. Yes, and I'm going
off for tea. Well, I don't... Nay, my
298
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,040
liege. I tell you nay.
299
00:27:07,290 --> 00:27:09,810
Nay, you shall not take me alive.
300
00:27:10,090 --> 00:27:16,750
Never. For with yonder sword... With
301
00:27:16,750 --> 00:27:23,230
yonder sword, shall I... With yonder
poison tablet, which
302
00:27:23,230 --> 00:27:28,430
conceals beneath my doublet, which is
next to my thinglet, shall I truly kill
303
00:27:28,430 --> 00:27:32,310
myself. And so, so do I die. I die.
304
00:27:40,880 --> 00:27:44,760
Shall I truly kill myself? And so...
Blood!
305
00:27:46,420 --> 00:27:47,420
Blood!
306
00:27:48,820 --> 00:27:49,980
Shut that door.
307
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,920
Ah, how quickly the blood doth congeal.
308
00:27:54,260 --> 00:27:56,900
And so... Sorry.
309
00:27:57,200 --> 00:27:59,100
And so do I, darling.
310
00:29:31,500 --> 00:29:34,880
asked here at Thames Television is, will
there be a fourth channel?
311
00:29:35,340 --> 00:29:37,100
No, I don't know.
312
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:41,520
But are we satisfied with the television
programmes that we're getting?
313
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:44,420
Yes, the answer is no.
314
00:29:45,460 --> 00:29:50,880
But should there be a fourth channel? Of
course not. Unless the public demand
315
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:56,160
it. And then I say, yes, we shall not
take no for an answer.
316
00:29:59,920 --> 00:30:05,400
Now, with me in the studio here is a man
who is directly concerned with this,
317
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:10,460
the head of Scuttlevision, Mr. Frederick
Scuttle. Good evening, sir.
318
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:11,720
Good evening, fans.
319
00:30:12,620 --> 00:30:17,100
Mr. Scuttle, if you were in charge of
the fourth channel, what audiences would
320
00:30:17,100 --> 00:30:18,100
you aim for?
321
00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:23,520
The thinking man, sir. Yes. The thinking
man is fed up with the superfluity and
322
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:25,780
frivolousness of television.
323
00:30:26,220 --> 00:30:27,640
All that frolics.
324
00:30:30,100 --> 00:30:35,100
Yes, sir. He's fed up with nothing but
dancing ladies wearing nothing but
325
00:30:35,100 --> 00:30:37,860
braziers and open -neck trousers.
326
00:30:40,060 --> 00:30:43,420
Some of the costumes the girls wear
nowadays are disgraceful, sir. I've seen
327
00:30:43,420 --> 00:30:44,900
more cotton in the top of an aspirin
bottle.
328
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:50,580
There was a dancer the other week, a
white -haired club, wearing a kilt six
329
00:30:50,580 --> 00:30:51,880
inches above the knee.
330
00:30:52,700 --> 00:30:55,860
What's wrong with that? He didn't have
six inches above the knee, sir.
331
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:01,900
What would you put in its place?
332
00:31:05,480 --> 00:31:07,000
In what place, sir?
333
00:31:07,580 --> 00:31:12,200
The dancers, the frolics. I'll tell you
what I'd put in. The masters, sir, the
334
00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:14,680
classics. The classics. Lady Fandomia's
Wind.
335
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:19,120
The Tale of Two Cities.
336
00:31:23,820 --> 00:31:24,820
Taker Gobbler.
337
00:31:26,580 --> 00:31:29,280
Dillon from Class, sir. Yes, sir, I
would, sir.
338
00:31:30,879 --> 00:31:34,480
Continental artiste and book bit and
book by myself.
339
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:36,760
What was that again?
340
00:31:37,020 --> 00:31:39,840
I can't speak my card. Listen, I go over
there, you know. You do?
341
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:43,880
Oh, sir, yeah, I speak five languages,
you know. Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
342
00:31:44,340 --> 00:31:45,480
Oui, oui, monsieur.
343
00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:48,520
That is French.
344
00:31:48,700 --> 00:31:49,700
Is it? Yeah.
345
00:31:50,380 --> 00:31:51,420
Six languages.
346
00:31:55,840 --> 00:31:57,560
I've handled them all, you know, sir.
347
00:32:00,030 --> 00:32:01,850
Les champignons de la chanson.
348
00:32:03,250 --> 00:32:04,670
The singing toadstools.
349
00:32:07,250 --> 00:32:09,150
Lost paranoics, I've handled them.
350
00:32:10,130 --> 00:32:12,010
Sophia Loren, I've never handled her.
351
00:32:12,970 --> 00:32:19,850
No, but we reach for the stars, we do. I
offered Maria Callas's... I offered
352
00:32:19,850 --> 00:32:24,030
her 30 quid and 10 luncheon vouchers to
come over here and mime to a verse and
353
00:32:24,030 --> 00:32:25,430
chorus of Cozy Fanny Tootie.
354
00:32:26,410 --> 00:32:28,310
Did she acquiesce?
355
00:32:28,590 --> 00:32:29,730
Not with me, she didn't, sir, no.
356
00:32:30,930 --> 00:32:33,570
But, sir, you know, the thing is...
Well, tell him what else we're going to
357
00:32:33,570 --> 00:32:36,150
him, sir. Oh, the greatest, sir. Our
serial.
358
00:32:36,390 --> 00:32:38,650
The continuing story of Acker Street.
359
00:32:39,470 --> 00:32:43,690
Oh, the critics liked it? The two
crickets went potty over it, sir. Mary
360
00:32:43,690 --> 00:32:47,270
said, if I had not seen it with my own
eyes, I would not have believed it.
361
00:32:49,330 --> 00:32:50,810
Virginia Ironside.
362
00:32:53,790 --> 00:32:55,250
There's a name to conjure with.
363
00:32:56,970 --> 00:32:59,070
referred to it as Poetry in Motion.
364
00:32:59,530 --> 00:33:03,670
And Alan Bryan said it makes Hocal
Cutter look like a blue Peter.
365
00:33:05,550 --> 00:33:08,350
So, you see, they all enjoyed it, you
see. Oh, I'm sure they did. And I'll
366
00:33:08,350 --> 00:33:10,610
you what else we're going to give. We're
going to give, for the first time on
367
00:33:10,610 --> 00:33:11,790
television, Poetry in Jazz.
368
00:33:12,250 --> 00:33:16,530
Really? Poetry in Jazz? Poetry in Jazz,
yes, with Melody Malcolm, with a voice
369
00:33:16,530 --> 00:33:17,530
like Talcum.
370
00:33:18,050 --> 00:33:20,490
And his minstrels. They're ready now.
His minstrels?
371
00:33:20,790 --> 00:33:23,850
They'll give us a couple of them, if you
like. Oh, they'll give us a potpourri?
372
00:33:24,390 --> 00:33:25,990
I wouldn't put it as strongly as that.
373
00:33:26,879 --> 00:33:29,680
I'll tell you a couple of things. You
see, you never know with Malcolm what
374
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:34,300
going to do. We give him a free hand in
its entirety, sir. You see, we never tie
375
00:33:34,300 --> 00:33:36,440
him down. No. Unless it's a full moon.
376
00:33:37,020 --> 00:33:39,240
And then we have to, you know, sir.
377
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:46,560
Full moon, a Will's Whip, a cup of
Benji's, and a Tizer,
378
00:33:46,580 --> 00:33:47,580
and he's off!
379
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:52,480
Real darn, sir. He's a non -conformist.
I think he's C of E, actually, sir.
380
00:33:52,820 --> 00:33:55,820
I would like to say. And you never know
what one minute, sir, he'll give you.
381
00:33:55,860 --> 00:33:59,820
Eskimo Nell, and then, like lightning,
you get the rubber yacht of Jaime Cohen.
382
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:03,000
The Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam. As well,
sir, yes.
383
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:06,300
And the Minstrel, sir. Oh, the group.
384
00:34:06,500 --> 00:34:09,360
Oh, the group. Are they strict tempo?
Never touch a drop, sir.
385
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,780
They don't, sir, no. They smoke quite a
bit, which you see, sir.
386
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:18,719
They are lovely music, sir. Yes. Lovely
music. I heard them last night at
387
00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:20,679
Teddington Town Hall. You should have
been there. It was magnificent.
388
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:25,159
The music sort of swelled up. It swelled
up and it sort of filled the halls,
389
00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:27,800
sir. Yes. Several people left to make
room for it, actually.
390
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:31,260
Are they ready now? Come over here. I'll
show you, sir. I'll show you.
391
00:34:32,420 --> 00:34:32,820
4
392
00:34:32,820 --> 00:34:41,219
-0
393
00:34:41,219 --> 00:34:42,520
Prunella was built like a fella.
394
00:34:44,010 --> 00:34:48,010
So she went down to see Dr Kerr. He
said, no, they'll make eighth. When she
395
00:34:48,010 --> 00:34:50,030
stripped to the waist, he could hardly
stop calling her sir.
396
00:34:52,190 --> 00:34:55,830
He started to gape at her absence of
shape. And he laughed, and he hardly
397
00:34:55,830 --> 00:34:59,510
speak. And he started to joke. She said,
it's no joke. They've been swallowing
398
00:34:59,510 --> 00:35:00,510
like that for a week.
399
00:35:01,750 --> 00:35:02,930
He explained the position.
400
00:35:03,150 --> 00:35:04,150
He said, I'm a physician.
401
00:35:04,430 --> 00:35:06,250
I graft you two on just like that.
402
00:35:06,650 --> 00:35:08,290
And he went and got plastered.
403
00:35:08,530 --> 00:35:09,530
Silly old Paul.
404
00:35:10,310 --> 00:35:11,950
And he grafted them onto her back.
405
00:35:13,210 --> 00:35:17,390
Now poor old Prunella, she can't get a
fella to walk or to talk or romance
406
00:35:17,730 --> 00:35:21,170
Because no one wants to chat when a girl
looks like that. But by golly, she's
407
00:35:21,170 --> 00:35:22,270
great fun to dance with.
408
00:35:28,770 --> 00:35:29,770
Here's another.
409
00:35:30,870 --> 00:35:32,950
My mate Ted has got a big head.
410
00:35:35,770 --> 00:35:37,830
He's a snob, he's aloof, he's high -ass.
411
00:35:38,030 --> 00:35:41,270
Some blokes say, by heck, he's a pain in
the neck. My opinion is lower than
412
00:35:41,270 --> 00:35:42,270
that.
413
00:35:42,970 --> 00:35:45,730
When he was at school, he made it the
rule to be Miss Coombe's favourite
414
00:35:45,730 --> 00:35:46,730
student.
415
00:35:50,030 --> 00:35:53,310
She said, you stay behind. He said, I
don't mind the joke and the gossip if
416
00:35:53,310 --> 00:35:54,310
don't.
417
00:35:54,390 --> 00:35:57,610
Once I said, Miss Coombe, may I leave
the room? And I put my hand over my
418
00:35:57,770 --> 00:36:00,690
She replied with a grin, now you can
stop in and fill up the inkwells
419
00:36:02,430 --> 00:36:09,010
There was one little lad who always
looked sad. The reason we would soon
420
00:36:09,010 --> 00:36:11,250
discover, Botox was his name.
421
00:36:16,399 --> 00:36:22,520
He wanted more knowledge, so he went to
college, one of them intellectual
422
00:36:22,520 --> 00:36:26,780
palaces. I said, no, don't call us. He
said, I left there with honors, and
423
00:36:26,780 --> 00:36:28,300
Sally's, and Irene's, and Alice's.
424
00:36:33,060 --> 00:36:38,900
He married Miss Meacher,
425
00:36:39,080 --> 00:36:41,660
and he was a schoolteacher.
426
00:36:43,240 --> 00:36:44,700
She should have been teaching the men.
427
00:36:45,500 --> 00:36:48,500
On their wedding night, she said, that's
not right, now do it all over again.
428
00:36:52,100 --> 00:36:54,740
He says, I went to night school.
429
00:36:55,460 --> 00:37:02,140
He says, I went to the right school, now
I go to night school. Every
430
00:37:02,140 --> 00:37:03,440
Tuesday from eight until ten.
431
00:37:03,740 --> 00:37:06,880
That's why I'm so bright, because every
Tuesday night I learn about world famous
432
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:07,880
men.
433
00:37:08,720 --> 00:37:10,680
Now Venus was chased all over the place.
434
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:18,120
She was lovely and that's on the level.
And old Aphrodite ran it out in her
435
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:19,860
nightie and Deuce was a dirty old devil.
436
00:37:20,980 --> 00:37:24,720
He said, you've never heard of Richard
III or Rembrandt or Voltaire or Wren.
437
00:37:25,020 --> 00:37:26,320
He said, I'm no fool.
438
00:37:27,060 --> 00:37:30,180
I go to night school every Tuesday from
eight until ten.
439
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:32,380
I said, I bet you don't know.
440
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:40,880
I said, I bet you don't know Charlie
Glenn. He says, no, I'll buy it then.
441
00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:41,769
Charlie Glenn?
442
00:37:41,770 --> 00:37:44,710
I said he's the louse who goes round to
your house every Tuesday from 8 until
443
00:37:44,710 --> 00:37:45,710
10!
444
00:37:46,570 --> 00:37:52,550
Give her
445
00:37:52,550 --> 00:38:03,170
your
446
00:38:03,170 --> 00:38:10,170
hand when she's lost the way Give her
447
00:38:10,170 --> 00:38:16,810
your shoulder to cry on Whether the day
is bright or
448
00:38:16,810 --> 00:38:23,510
grey Give her your heart to rely on Blow
her a
449
00:38:23,510 --> 00:38:29,310
kiss from across the room Say she looks
nice when she's not
450
00:38:29,310 --> 00:38:34,270
Touch her hair as you pass her chair
451
00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:42,640
Give her your hand as you cross the
street.
452
00:38:43,820 --> 00:38:46,020
Call her at six on the dot.
453
00:38:47,640 --> 00:38:50,800
Find a day when you're far away.
454
00:38:52,240 --> 00:38:54,620
Little things need a lot.
455
00:38:56,220 --> 00:38:59,800
Don't have to buy her diamonds or
pearls.
456
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:02,960
Champagne tables and books.
457
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,540
She doesn't care much for...
458
00:39:09,850 --> 00:39:11,250
Bye.
459
00:39:24,050 --> 00:39:26,450
Bye. Bye.
460
00:39:27,230 --> 00:39:28,230
Bye.
461
00:39:47,980 --> 00:39:50,240
Good evening.
462
00:40:07,340 --> 00:40:10,460
Well, once again, we welcome from China,
Mr.
463
00:40:10,680 --> 00:40:11,499
Chow Min.
464
00:40:11,500 --> 00:40:13,960
Good evening, everybody.
465
00:40:15,900 --> 00:40:19,500
And hello there, Nicholas Parsons.
466
00:40:20,860 --> 00:40:25,980
Nicholas Parsons. Nicholas Parsons. I am
Nicholas.
467
00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:28,240
Mind you don't catch a cold.
468
00:40:32,500 --> 00:40:36,180
You're not like Chairman Mao.
469
00:40:36,830 --> 00:40:39,010
Chairman Mao, have nicks on.
470
00:40:47,050 --> 00:40:51,030
Well, I am delighted to see that this
time Mr. Min has brought with him his
471
00:40:51,030 --> 00:40:55,830
lovely wife, Mrs. Min. And may I say,
Mrs. Min, that you are the veritable
472
00:40:55,830 --> 00:41:01,050
epitome of Eastern womanhood and beauty.
With your enigmatic smile, you're the
473
00:41:01,050 --> 00:41:03,130
lotus blossom incarnate.
474
00:41:14,740 --> 00:41:18,680
I'm terribly sorry. I didn't realize
that your wife spoke English. Better
475
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:19,680
you, cookie boy.
476
00:41:22,060 --> 00:41:24,780
The rotis rotten incarnate.
477
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:26,900
What a rotacobras.
478
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:33,110
Mr. Min, where... Where did you curse
come to meet your lovely wife? In
479
00:41:33,110 --> 00:41:34,450
Shanghai, I sleep.
480
00:41:34,790 --> 00:41:36,730
I was driving in the long rain.
481
00:41:37,070 --> 00:41:38,070
The long rain?
482
00:41:38,290 --> 00:41:39,990
Not a long rain, a long rain.
483
00:41:40,450 --> 00:41:41,710
The long rain.
484
00:41:42,370 --> 00:41:44,230
Oh, the wrong lane.
485
00:41:44,610 --> 00:41:47,150
In her car.
486
00:41:47,550 --> 00:41:48,610
What else?
487
00:41:50,410 --> 00:41:52,270
Then I drive over this glass.
488
00:41:52,550 --> 00:41:53,550
And you got a puncture.
489
00:41:53,670 --> 00:41:55,030
No, not a puncture on glass.
490
00:41:55,830 --> 00:41:57,710
Not a puncture on clean glass.
491
00:41:58,450 --> 00:41:59,990
Not a puncture on glass.
492
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:03,160
On bloke and grass, get a puncher.
493
00:42:03,480 --> 00:42:05,500
Get a puncher up a throat in a minute.
494
00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:13,820
Then I noticed that she wearing hot
pants.
495
00:42:14,440 --> 00:42:15,440
Made in China?
496
00:42:15,580 --> 00:42:16,580
Made in cotton.
497
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:24,760
She was leaning over her car and I was
rugging and all full of lust.
498
00:42:25,020 --> 00:42:25,819
You were?
499
00:42:25,820 --> 00:42:26,738
A car.
500
00:42:26,740 --> 00:42:29,140
It was a lusty car. The engine was
lusty.
501
00:42:31,250 --> 00:42:32,250
Rustic. Yeah.
502
00:42:32,430 --> 00:42:34,070
So I say to myself,
503
00:42:34,550 --> 00:42:41,370
It's magic.
504
00:42:42,030 --> 00:42:43,030
Because,
505
00:42:44,390 --> 00:42:48,970
you see, what I say in English is, I
think maybe her leg is broken.
506
00:42:49,470 --> 00:42:51,330
Maybe her crutches are burnt out.
507
00:42:51,630 --> 00:42:55,470
And then I go over and I say, hey, you
butterfly.
508
00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:57,620
I blame... I see you no switch on.
509
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:00,760
And she say, I only got to take one more
look at you, cookie boy, and I switch
510
00:43:00,760 --> 00:43:01,760
on.
511
00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:04,540
So, Mr. Min, this is your wife.
512
00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:08,920
What aspects of Britain do you think
will most interest the people of China?
513
00:43:09,280 --> 00:43:11,800
I'd like to hear about Paris.
514
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:14,140
The French capital, Paris.
515
00:43:14,460 --> 00:43:15,820
In English, Buckingham, Paris.
516
00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:18,840
I'd like to hear about...
517
00:43:23,020 --> 00:43:25,020
And her mother, the clean mother.
518
00:43:26,860 --> 00:43:28,680
Also, Prince Philip.
519
00:43:29,620 --> 00:43:30,900
Lord Stoughton.
520
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:32,320
Princess Margaret.
521
00:43:32,820 --> 00:43:35,520
We like to hear about all the loyal
family.
522
00:43:36,660 --> 00:43:38,440
Also visit horse piddle.
523
00:43:41,740 --> 00:43:46,020
We visit the horse piddle, yes. We see
the nurses there with the brats talking.
524
00:43:46,340 --> 00:43:49,440
Some of those nurses can disturb the
patients without making a bed.
525
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:53,320
They get a surprise. What kind of
surprise?
526
00:43:53,940 --> 00:43:54,940
Medical surprise.
527
00:43:55,540 --> 00:43:56,540
Oh, surprise.
528
00:43:56,880 --> 00:43:58,420
Oh, you know this and you silly idiot.
529
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:00,600
No time, Cookie Baby, you tell me.
530
00:44:01,820 --> 00:44:03,580
Or shall we go to Reading?
531
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:06,680
Reading in Berkshire. No, Reading in
Church, sir.
532
00:44:07,340 --> 00:44:10,320
Ah, because he married a ceremony.
533
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:11,439
I see.
534
00:44:11,440 --> 00:44:12,520
And a drink of champagne.
535
00:44:13,300 --> 00:44:17,700
There was no gloom. Everyone was happy.
How can they be happy when there is no
536
00:44:17,700 --> 00:44:19,040
gloom? Gloom not turn up.
537
00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:20,359
Oh, the groom.
538
00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:21,360
Yes.
539
00:44:21,980 --> 00:44:23,500
Oy vey.
540
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:32,000
Well, when the groom turn up, he
marry... He marry
541
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:33,240
16 wives.
542
00:44:34,020 --> 00:44:35,040
Sixteen? Yes.
543
00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:38,420
Four richer, four poorer, four better,
and four worse.
544
00:44:45,160 --> 00:44:48,020
I hear more crapping that night.
545
00:44:52,060 --> 00:44:58,160
Then they have a party, and best men
come in carrying a lead jerry. A lead
546
00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:01,180
jerry? Yes, a lead jerry. Yeah, full of
custard.
547
00:45:02,870 --> 00:45:05,450
Custard? You never have Jerry and
Custard?
548
00:45:06,690 --> 00:45:11,590
He's rubbery, Jerry and Custard. He's
rubbery. He was a love -billy Jerry.
549
00:45:12,790 --> 00:45:15,530
And there was not enough to go around,
so I give a smack in the middle,
550
00:45:15,550 --> 00:45:22,130
everybody get a bit... Also, I take a
photograph,
551
00:45:22,210 --> 00:45:23,490
it was spoilt.
552
00:45:23,690 --> 00:45:25,010
Oh, spoilt, oh.
553
00:45:28,230 --> 00:45:29,710
Not I spoilt, oh.
554
00:45:30,550 --> 00:45:31,750
I spoilt, oh.
555
00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:36,280
Click it.
556
00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:38,640
And, uh, rugby.
557
00:45:41,380 --> 00:45:42,480
Okay. Okay.
558
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:45,000
No, okay. Okay with an okay stick.
559
00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:46,560
Okay.
560
00:45:48,520 --> 00:45:51,060
You know, we write best, oh, damn, to
Bajo.
561
00:45:51,400 --> 00:45:54,640
Oh, yeah. Oh, damn, to Bajo. Good game.
562
00:45:54,960 --> 00:45:58,920
Oh, damn, to Bajo. Oh, damn, to Bajo.
Good game. Ready can pray also.
563
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:03,580
Oh, summery can pray. I see a lady. She
was dressed with two nipples.
564
00:46:05,260 --> 00:46:07,620
I beg your pardon? Blessed with two
nipples.
565
00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:10,560
Oh, blessed with two nippers.
566
00:46:10,780 --> 00:46:12,160
Yeah, that's what I say, two nipples.
567
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:16,220
There was a big cloud.
568
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:17,940
Oh, a cloud of rain?
569
00:46:18,240 --> 00:46:19,300
No, a cloud of people.
570
00:46:20,140 --> 00:46:24,180
And we all come to see this man, her
husband, pray.
571
00:46:24,880 --> 00:46:25,940
Oh, down to Bajo.
572
00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:30,960
So, Odonto Bajo, he takes a small round
ball, a white ball, Odonto Bajo, put it
573
00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:34,820
under the grass, and over there is a
small round hole. He tried with a stick
574
00:46:34,820 --> 00:46:38,800
a club to knock the small round hole
into the little tiny...
575
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:41,500
Oh, there, the ball go into the hole.
But it's not quite going.
576
00:46:41,720 --> 00:46:44,920
It's just on the edge. And everybody
say, oh, damn, too bad, Joe.
577
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:47,220
Oh, damn, too bad, Joe. That's a good
game.
578
00:46:47,420 --> 00:46:51,840
I like that. I like that game. Thank you
very much indeed, Mr. Min and Mrs. Min.
579
00:46:52,040 --> 00:46:53,040
Good night, Cookie Boy.
580
00:46:53,380 --> 00:46:58,540
I got a brand new pair of roses.
581
00:47:13,130 --> 00:47:16,970
I raise the chicks and then I feed the
chicks and I'm feeling lonesome and
582
00:47:17,250 --> 00:47:21,450
And when I milk the cow, it seems
somehow my thought keeps straying to
583
00:47:21,830 --> 00:47:25,950
And as the horse and I play the field
nearby, your memory I can't erase.
584
00:47:26,410 --> 00:47:30,750
For as I look at the rear of the horse,
my dear, I seem to see your face.
585
00:47:31,070 --> 00:47:35,770
I'm going to soak the scene of deep
devotion, fertilizing with emotion.
586
00:47:36,610 --> 00:47:39,950
Water it with warm desire and then I'll
reap the harvest of love.
587
00:47:43,029 --> 00:47:46,670
Yes, I was happy as a pig in spite of
the way that you looked at me when I met
588
00:47:46,670 --> 00:47:47,609
you at the village dance.
589
00:47:47,610 --> 00:47:50,970
But you were in the ladies' excuse me,
and I thought I should never have a
590
00:47:50,970 --> 00:47:55,590
chance. But you went off with Jeff, our
local chef, and you courted him, came by
591
00:47:55,590 --> 00:47:56,549
the hedge.
592
00:47:56,550 --> 00:48:00,310
Then up came his wife with a long
-handled knife, and she cut off his meat
593
00:48:00,310 --> 00:48:01,790
two vegs. I don't know.
594
00:48:02,090 --> 00:48:03,490
It seemed a deep devotion.
595
00:48:04,390 --> 00:48:05,750
I think it was emotion.
596
00:48:29,589 --> 00:48:32,730
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. Thank
you all very much for being with us. And
597
00:48:32,730 --> 00:48:35,850
we look forward to seeing you all again
quite soon. Until then, bye -bye.
598
00:50:20,089 --> 00:50:22,890
Thank you.
599
00:50:55,280 --> 00:50:57,240
Thank you.
47061
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