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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:30,000 Later on, Tunesmith Neil Sadaka will be dropping by to share his recipe for 2 00:01:30,003 --> 00:01:34,000 delicious potato latkes, a traditional Hanukkah tree. 3 00:01:34,003 --> 00:01:37,000 Cuz you know, it's not just Christmas. 4 00:01:37,003 --> 00:01:39,000 No, it's not, is it? 5 00:01:39,003 --> 00:01:42,000 Oh, and there's more holiday hijinks to come. 6 00:01:42,003 --> 00:01:45,000 You know, Christy, the holidays seem to bring out the best in everyone. 7 00:01:45,003 --> 00:01:46,000 Excuse me. 8 00:01:46,003 --> 00:01:48,000 Do you think you could move in, sir? 9 00:01:48,003 --> 00:01:51,000 Because I certainly can't, this is a solid mess here. 10 00:01:51,003 --> 00:01:52,000 Thank you. 11 00:01:52,003 --> 00:01:54,000 There she blows. 12 00:01:54,003 --> 00:01:58,000 Hey, Jude, Merry Christmas. 13 00:01:58,003 --> 00:02:00,000 Don't even try to pull that cherry shit with me. 14 00:02:00,003 --> 00:02:03,000 I've got an eight pound baby dancing on my bladder. 15 00:02:06,003 --> 00:02:07,000 Well, you look great. 16 00:02:07,003 --> 00:02:09,000 You're actually glowing. 17 00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:10,000 You know why? 18 00:02:10,003 --> 00:02:11,000 Because I'm hot. 19 00:02:11,003 --> 00:02:13,000 It's two degrees out and I'm hot. 20 00:02:13,003 --> 00:02:15,000 I am like a fucking toaster oven. 21 00:02:15,003 --> 00:02:18,000 And the baby isn't even due for three more weeks. 22 00:02:18,003 --> 00:02:22,000 Three weeks until the arrival of the amazing Richard Stone baby. 23 00:02:22,003 --> 00:02:24,000 See, that's what they're all calling it, you know that? 24 00:02:24,003 --> 00:02:26,000 The Richard Stone baby. 25 00:02:26,003 --> 00:02:28,000 What am I, a police? 26 00:02:28,003 --> 00:02:29,000 Are you allowed to drink yet? 27 00:02:29,003 --> 00:02:34,000 I'm sorry, I'm just huge and hormonal. 28 00:02:34,003 --> 00:02:36,014 So I don't suppose you'd like to take a 29 00:02:36,026 --> 00:02:38,000 drive to the country with me tomorrow. 30 00:02:41,003 --> 00:02:42,000 I think not. 31 00:02:42,003 --> 00:02:44,000 I'll be good, I promise. 32 00:02:44,003 --> 00:02:45,000 Come on. 33 00:02:45,003 --> 00:02:48,000 It'll be great to spend some time together before the baby comes. 34 00:02:48,003 --> 00:02:50,000 You know, just the two of us. 35 00:02:56,003 --> 00:02:57,000 That does sound kind of nice. 36 00:02:57,003 --> 00:02:59,000 What's in the country? 37 00:02:59,003 --> 00:03:03,000 Oh, some Amish village is supposed to present Richard with this giant qu 38 00:03:03,003 --> 00:03:04,000 ilt they made for the baby. 39 00:03:08,003 --> 00:03:09,000 And where's Richard? 40 00:03:09,003 --> 00:03:11,000 He's stuck in Rome. 41 00:03:11,003 --> 00:03:12,470 Apparently his buddy, the Pope, wants him 42 00:03:12,482 --> 00:03:14,000 to do a Christmas Mass with him this year. 43 00:03:14,003 --> 00:03:16,000 You know, sort of like a, a ghost. 44 00:03:16,003 --> 00:03:18,000 And so you thought of me. 45 00:03:18,003 --> 00:03:19,000 Well, I'm afraid I can't. 46 00:03:19,003 --> 00:03:21,000 I have a lot of work to do before the holiday. 47 00:03:21,003 --> 00:03:22,000 Okay. 48 00:03:22,003 --> 00:03:23,000 No problem. 49 00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:24,000 I'll just go alone. 50 00:03:24,003 --> 00:03:25,000 Fine. 51 00:03:25,003 --> 00:03:26,000 Excuse me. 52 00:03:26,003 --> 00:03:28,000 Could we have some bread, please? 53 00:03:28,003 --> 00:03:30,000 Some of us are here to eat. 54 00:03:30,003 --> 00:03:31,000 Thank you. 55 00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:35,000 What do you think the woman of today needs most in dealing with the 56 00:03:35,003 --> 00:03:37,000 problems of motherhood? 57 00:03:37,003 --> 00:03:39,000 A bottle of whiskey and a psychiatrist. 58 00:03:53,003 --> 00:03:54,000 Hang on. 59 00:03:54,003 --> 00:03:55,000 We're going to hit. 60 00:03:55,003 --> 00:03:56,000 Bullseye! 61 00:03:59,003 --> 00:04:00,000 What the hell? 62 00:04:00,003 --> 00:04:02,000 Isn't it great? 63 00:04:02,003 --> 00:04:05,000 I got it as a stocking stuffer for my nephew Petey. 64 00:04:05,003 --> 00:04:08,000 It was either this or a little tank that shoots plastic pellets that could 65 00:04:08,003 --> 00:04:09,000 take your eye out. 66 00:04:09,003 --> 00:04:12,000 But Petey's only got one eye, so I thought, woof, but or not. 67 00:04:12,003 --> 00:04:14,000 What a lovely Christmas story. 68 00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:17,000 Speaking of which, I got this great idea for a Christmas book for kids. 69 00:04:17,003 --> 00:04:21,000 It's the story of the birth of Christ, only it's all told with cows. 70 00:04:21,003 --> 00:04:22,000 Cows? 71 00:04:22,003 --> 00:04:24,000 It's utterly mad. 72 00:04:24,003 --> 00:04:25,000 Sure. 73 00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:26,000 Kids love cows. 74 00:04:26,003 --> 00:04:27,000 It's the same story. 75 00:04:27,003 --> 00:04:29,000 Jesus married Joseph the whole schmear. 76 00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:31,000 Only in a cow kind of way. 77 00:04:31,003 --> 00:04:34,000 Believe me, after 12 years of Catholic school, anything you could do to 78 00:04:34,003 --> 00:04:36,000 spice up the material couldn't hurt. 79 00:04:36,003 --> 00:04:38,000 Oh, that sounds... Moo. 80 00:04:38,003 --> 00:04:39,000 Fascinating. 81 00:04:39,003 --> 00:04:42,000 I just have a couple of questions about the whole cow concept. 82 00:04:42,003 --> 00:04:43,000 Such as? 83 00:04:43,003 --> 00:04:46,000 Well, when they say, no, no room for them at the end, won't it seem like 84 00:04:46,003 --> 00:04:48,000 maybe it's because of their cows? 85 00:04:48,003 --> 00:04:50,000 And when they have to sleep in a manger, doesn't that sort of make sense? 86 00:04:50,003 --> 00:04:51,394 Considering that they're cows and the 87 00:04:51,406 --> 00:04:53,000 wise men, how wise can a bunch of cows ... 88 00:04:53,003 --> 00:04:54,000 Okay, okay. 89 00:04:54,003 --> 00:04:55,000 I hear you. 90 00:04:55,003 --> 00:05:01,000 You know, I get so few ideas. 91 00:05:01,003 --> 00:05:04,000 You can at least pretend to be interested. 92 00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:08,000 Great! 93 00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:10,000 That is just great. 94 00:05:10,003 --> 00:05:12,000 I hope you're happy. 95 00:05:12,003 --> 00:05:13,000 Shh. 96 00:05:13,003 --> 00:05:14,000 Come on. 97 00:05:14,003 --> 00:05:19,000 What, what, what is it? 98 00:05:19,003 --> 00:05:20,000 It's Mary. 99 00:05:20,003 --> 00:05:21,000 Mary who? 100 00:05:21,003 --> 00:05:23,000 The virgin Mary. 101 00:05:23,003 --> 00:05:24,000 In the cracks. 102 00:05:24,003 --> 00:05:27,000 Have you seen it? Have you seen it? 103 00:05:27,003 --> 00:05:28,000 Seen what? 104 00:05:28,003 --> 00:05:29,000 It's marvelous. 105 00:05:29,003 --> 00:05:30,000 It's marvelous. 106 00:05:30,003 --> 00:05:31,000 I can't believe it. 107 00:05:31,003 --> 00:05:32,000 I sort of see a rabbit. 108 00:05:38,003 --> 00:05:46,000 You know what I heard? 109 00:05:46,003 --> 00:05:50,000 After Lyle Schwartz's party, Ashley Clinger and Brian Sericino did it. 110 00:05:50,003 --> 00:05:51,000 No way. 111 00:05:51,003 --> 00:05:54,000 They've only been going out for like three weeks. 112 00:05:54,003 --> 00:05:56,000 That's totally pathetic. 113 00:05:56,003 --> 00:05:59,000 Yeah, yeah, that's what I thought. 114 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:05,000 So do you think you could ever see us... Doing it? 115 00:06:05,003 --> 00:06:06,000 No. 116 00:06:06,003 --> 00:06:07,000 No, it's not what I was thinking. 117 00:06:07,003 --> 00:06:10,000 But it is an interesting question, though. 118 00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:15,000 Well, actually, it was supposed to be a surprise, 119 00:06:15,003 --> 00:06:19,000 but that was going to be her Christmas present. 120 00:06:19,003 --> 00:06:20,000 Wow. 121 00:06:20,003 --> 00:06:21,000 Yeah. 122 00:06:21,003 --> 00:06:23,000 I only got you a sweater. 123 00:06:23,003 --> 00:06:28,000 I've kind of wanted to for a long time, but then I thought, 124 00:06:28,003 --> 00:06:31,000 you know, Christmas would be more special. 125 00:06:31,003 --> 00:06:32,000 Sure, sure. 126 00:06:32,003 --> 00:06:34,000 We're talking this Christmas, right? 127 00:06:34,003 --> 00:06:35,000 Yeah. 128 00:06:35,003 --> 00:06:39,000 I was thinking maybe Christmas Eve, like tomorrow night. 129 00:06:39,003 --> 00:06:40,000 I'm afraid. 130 00:06:40,003 --> 00:06:50,000 What? 131 00:06:50,003 --> 00:06:51,000 You're cool. 132 00:06:51,003 --> 00:06:52,000 Oh, yummy, yummy. 133 00:06:52,003 --> 00:06:54,000 These potato lackeys are so delicious. 134 00:06:54,003 --> 00:06:57,000 They almost make you wish that you were Jewish. 135 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,000 Join us tomorrow for more holiday fun and surprises. 136 00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:02,000 Bye-bye, everybody. 137 00:07:02,003 --> 00:07:03,000 Bye-bye. 138 00:07:03,003 --> 00:07:04,000 We'll see you tomorrow. 139 00:07:04,003 --> 00:07:05,000 Have a good plan. 140 00:07:05,003 --> 00:07:11,000 If anybody cares, I have got lackey grease all over my fingers. 141 00:07:11,003 --> 00:07:13,000 Come and get Kristy a doll. 142 00:07:13,003 --> 00:07:21,000 Hello. 143 00:07:21,003 --> 00:07:22,000 Hey, bud. 144 00:07:22,003 --> 00:07:23,883 How would you like to go out with an 145 00:07:23,895 --> 00:07:26,000 incredibly attractive dental technician? 146 00:07:26,003 --> 00:07:28,000 Who you're not going out with because? 147 00:07:28,003 --> 00:07:32,000 I subsequently made a date with an even more attractive lingerie model. 148 00:07:32,003 --> 00:07:34,000 Trading up again, huh, Eddie? 149 00:07:34,003 --> 00:07:36,000 How do you sleep at night? 150 00:07:36,003 --> 00:07:37,000 Not alone. 151 00:07:37,003 --> 00:07:38,000 I'll tell you that. 152 00:07:38,003 --> 00:07:39,000 Come on, man. 153 00:07:39,003 --> 00:07:40,000 Help me out here. 154 00:07:40,003 --> 00:07:41,000 Hey, it's tomorrow. 155 00:07:41,003 --> 00:07:42,000 Well, see, there you go. 156 00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:44,000 I already have a date tomorrow night. 157 00:07:44,003 --> 00:07:45,000 With? 158 00:07:45,003 --> 00:07:47,000 You remember I told you about that wrong number from Texas. 159 00:07:47,003 --> 00:07:49,000 Who, the phone sex lady? 160 00:07:49,003 --> 00:07:53,000 Well, I like to think it's gone a bit beyond that, but yes, 161 00:07:53,003 --> 00:07:55,000 yes, Mary Beth is coming to New York tomorrow night. 162 00:07:55,003 --> 00:07:58,000 Okay, so you haven't actually seen this woman then, right? 163 00:07:58,003 --> 00:08:01,000 And so for all you know, she could have a hump. 164 00:08:01,003 --> 00:08:02,000 And I know mine doesn't. 165 00:08:03,003 --> 00:08:05,000 Goodbye, Eddie. 166 00:08:05,003 --> 00:08:06,000 Oh, come on, man. 167 00:08:06,003 --> 00:08:07,000 A hump in her lazy eye. 168 00:08:07,003 --> 00:08:09,000 A hump in her leg. 169 00:08:09,003 --> 00:08:10,000 She drags behind. 170 00:08:10,003 --> 00:08:20,000 Morning. 171 00:08:20,003 --> 00:08:21,000 Morning. 172 00:08:21,003 --> 00:08:23,000 Listen, do you know when you're going out tonight and 173 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,000 where you're going and what time you'll be back? 174 00:08:25,003 --> 00:08:29,000 Seven-ish probably after dinner, and I really have no idea why. 175 00:08:29,003 --> 00:08:30,000 No reason. 176 00:08:30,003 --> 00:08:32,000 Just curious about you and your life. 177 00:08:32,003 --> 00:08:33,000 Boom. 178 00:08:33,003 --> 00:08:34,000 Boom. 179 00:08:34,003 --> 00:08:35,000 You okay? 180 00:08:35,003 --> 00:08:36,000 Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. 181 00:08:36,003 --> 00:08:37,000 It's just Christmas Eve day. 182 00:08:37,003 --> 00:08:38,000 It's a special time of year. 183 00:08:38,003 --> 00:08:40,000 You sure you're okay? 184 00:08:40,003 --> 00:08:41,000 Yeah. 185 00:08:41,003 --> 00:08:43,000 You just poured orange juice in your cereal. 186 00:08:43,003 --> 00:08:45,000 Oh. 187 00:08:45,003 --> 00:08:47,000 Oh, yeah, I know. 188 00:08:47,003 --> 00:08:48,000 It's the '90s, Dad. 189 00:08:48,003 --> 00:08:50,000 All the kids eat it this way. 190 00:08:53,003 --> 00:09:00,000 It's gratifying for a man to see his own brains coming out in his sun. 191 00:09:15,003 --> 00:09:17,000 Line up and get your presents. 192 00:09:17,003 --> 00:09:20,000 Plenty of presents for everyone. 193 00:09:20,003 --> 00:09:25,000 So I was talking to my boss, Martin Tupper, about this great Christmas 194 00:09:25,003 --> 00:09:27,000 story idea I had about cops. 195 00:09:27,003 --> 00:09:29,000 That's fascinating, Miss Petalby. 196 00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:30,000 And then what happened? 197 00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:33,000 I turned and I looked, and there she was. 198 00:09:33,003 --> 00:09:34,835 Her hair was a little shorter than I 199 00:09:34,847 --> 00:09:37,000 remember from Catechism, but it was merry. 200 00:09:37,003 --> 00:09:38,000 No doubt about it. 201 00:09:38,003 --> 00:09:39,000 There you have it. 202 00:09:39,003 --> 00:09:43,000 Not since Jesus was spotted in a Campbell's suit billboard in Pittsburgh. 203 00:09:43,003 --> 00:09:46,000 Have we seen such religious fervor? 204 00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:50,000 This is Susan Saladul, live at the site of the Petalby Madonna. 205 00:09:50,003 --> 00:09:52,000 The posted thingies are five bucks. 206 00:09:52,003 --> 00:09:53,000 The pencils are 10 bucks. 207 00:09:53,003 --> 00:09:54,000 Take a pencil. 208 00:09:54,003 --> 00:09:56,000 It's like owning a piece of the true cost. 209 00:09:56,003 --> 00:09:58,000 And you can write with it. 210 00:09:58,003 --> 00:10:00,000 Martin Tupper's office. 211 00:10:00,003 --> 00:10:04,000 Please come to Pennsylvania with me. 212 00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:05,000 Who is this? 213 00:10:05,003 --> 00:10:06,000 It's me. 214 00:10:06,003 --> 00:10:09,000 You remember, Pennsylvania Dutch country? 215 00:10:09,003 --> 00:10:11,000 Oh, please, please. 216 00:10:11,003 --> 00:10:13,000 I'm just -- I'm feeling so happy today. 217 00:10:13,003 --> 00:10:16,000 I don't know. 218 00:10:16,003 --> 00:10:17,000 I have a date tonight. 219 00:10:17,003 --> 00:10:18,000 Come on. 220 00:10:18,003 --> 00:10:22,000 You'll be home by 6, 5 -- 4.30 at the latest. 221 00:10:22,003 --> 00:10:23,000 I don't think so. 222 00:10:23,003 --> 00:10:25,000 I can see. 223 00:10:25,003 --> 00:10:28,000 Not clearly, but I can see. 224 00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:33,000 Get me out of here now to where I see anything. 225 00:10:33,003 --> 00:10:36,000 Hey! 226 00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:43,000 I didn't recognize the car. 227 00:10:43,003 --> 00:10:44,000 Oh, it's a loner. 228 00:10:44,003 --> 00:10:47,000 I had a little bender bender. 229 00:10:47,003 --> 00:10:49,000 Thank you so much for coming with me. 230 00:10:49,003 --> 00:10:52,000 I mean, it really -- it really means a lot. 231 00:10:52,003 --> 00:10:55,000 I'm happy to do it. 232 00:10:55,003 --> 00:10:58,000 I'm happy to do it. 233 00:10:58,003 --> 00:11:00,000 I'm happy to do it. 234 00:11:00,003 --> 00:11:03,000 I'm happy to do it. 235 00:11:20,003 --> 00:11:22,000 Just don't tell Rudolph. 236 00:11:22,003 --> 00:11:26,000 Oh, and there's a lot more holiday hijinks to come. 237 00:11:26,003 --> 00:11:29,000 So don't go away. 238 00:11:29,003 --> 00:11:35,000 And we're clear. 239 00:11:35,003 --> 00:11:38,000 Cheryl, hey, it's Eddie. 240 00:11:38,003 --> 00:11:41,000 Listen, are we definitely on for tonight? 241 00:11:41,003 --> 00:11:42,000 Excellent. 242 00:11:42,003 --> 00:11:44,000 Why don't you come by the studio, round six? 243 00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:45,000 All right. 244 00:11:45,003 --> 00:11:51,000 See you then. 245 00:11:51,003 --> 00:11:55,000 Cynthia, hi, it's Eddie. 246 00:11:55,003 --> 00:11:58,000 Listen, I don't think tonight's going to be good. 247 00:11:58,003 --> 00:11:59,000 Food poisoning? 248 00:11:59,003 --> 00:12:01,000 Yeah. 249 00:12:01,003 --> 00:12:03,000 Muscles, marinara. 250 00:12:03,003 --> 00:12:06,000 You know, I just feel so bad about tonight. 251 00:12:06,003 --> 00:12:08,000 Uh-oh, going to be sick again. 252 00:12:08,003 --> 00:12:09,000 Got to go. 253 00:12:09,003 --> 00:12:11,000 Bye. 254 00:12:11,003 --> 00:12:12,000 Back, guys. 255 00:12:12,003 --> 00:12:13,000 Disgusting. 256 00:12:13,003 --> 00:12:14,000 Like I care. 257 00:12:14,003 --> 00:12:15,000 Fuck you. 258 00:12:15,003 --> 00:12:17,000 Welcome back, everyone. 259 00:12:17,003 --> 00:12:21,000 Well, Mr. Weatherman tells us it looks like we're going to have a white 260 00:12:21,003 --> 00:12:23,000 Christmas after all. 261 00:12:23,003 --> 00:12:29,000 Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. 262 00:12:29,003 --> 00:12:32,000 I said let's just take the Pennsylvania turn cart. 263 00:12:32,003 --> 00:12:34,000 No, no, you had to save money on tolls. 264 00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,000 Excuse me. 265 00:12:35,003 --> 00:12:37,000 I'm just a little bit busy right now, okay? 266 00:12:37,003 --> 00:12:39,000 I said I'd pay the tolls, but no. 267 00:12:39,003 --> 00:12:42,000 Okay, look, why don't you stop talking and watch the road. 268 00:12:56,003 --> 00:12:57,000 Hey, hey, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. 269 00:12:57,003 --> 00:12:58,000 Oh, look here. 270 00:12:58,003 --> 00:12:59,000 Damn. 271 00:12:59,003 --> 00:13:01,000 Damn, there's a sign. 272 00:13:01,003 --> 00:13:02,000 What did it say? 273 00:13:02,003 --> 00:13:03,000 I couldn't see it. 274 00:13:03,003 --> 00:13:05,000 I was too busy watching the road. 275 00:13:05,003 --> 00:13:07,000 Well, just keep your hands on the wheel, will you? 276 00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:08,000 Don't you tell me how to drive. 277 00:13:08,003 --> 00:13:09,000 Excuse me. 278 00:13:21,003 --> 00:13:22,000 Stop humming. 279 00:13:37,003 --> 00:13:40,000 You have to pee again. 280 00:13:40,003 --> 00:13:42,000 I warned you about getting that big gulp. 281 00:13:42,003 --> 00:13:43,000 Well, I was thirsty. 282 00:13:43,003 --> 00:13:46,000 Well, if you have to, you can always use the souvenir cup. 283 00:13:46,003 --> 00:13:48,000 Oh, you'd really like that, wouldn't you? 284 00:13:48,003 --> 00:13:49,000 To watch you pee in a cup? 285 00:13:49,003 --> 00:13:51,000 Oh, more than anything. 286 00:13:51,003 --> 00:13:54,000 I mean, who cares if I miss my date, as long as I get to see that. 287 00:14:11,003 --> 00:14:13,000 Eddie Charles. 288 00:14:13,003 --> 00:14:14,000 Damn. 289 00:14:14,003 --> 00:14:17,000 Hey, when did you get back? 290 00:14:17,003 --> 00:14:18,000 Fantastic. 291 00:14:18,003 --> 00:14:21,000 Listen, I saw your movie. 292 00:14:21,003 --> 00:14:23,000 You were unbelievable. 293 00:14:23,003 --> 00:14:24,000 Yeah. 294 00:14:24,003 --> 00:14:27,000 So, when can I see you? 295 00:14:27,003 --> 00:14:29,000 Tonight? 296 00:14:29,003 --> 00:14:31,000 No, no, tonight is great. 297 00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:34,000 I'll see you around seven below right. 298 00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:36,000 See you there. 299 00:14:36,003 --> 00:14:39,000 Yes. 300 00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,000 Hi. 301 00:14:40,003 --> 00:14:43,000 Hey, Cheryl. 302 00:14:43,003 --> 00:14:44,000 I'm sorry I'm late. 303 00:14:44,003 --> 00:14:45,000 The shoot ran long. 304 00:14:45,003 --> 00:14:47,000 So, what do you want to do? 305 00:14:47,003 --> 00:14:55,000 What I want to do is take you out to dinner, but I just found out that my 306 00:14:55,003 --> 00:14:59,000 mother is really sick, and I really should go see her. 307 00:14:59,003 --> 00:15:01,000 I'm sorry. 308 00:15:01,003 --> 00:15:02,000 Oh, God, no. 309 00:15:02,003 --> 00:15:03,000 I hope she feels better. 310 00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:05,000 Thanks. 311 00:15:05,003 --> 00:15:07,000 Come here. 312 00:15:07,003 --> 00:15:10,000 Oh, you are so good. 313 00:15:10,003 --> 00:15:13,000 By the way, are we still on for New Year's? 314 00:15:13,003 --> 00:15:17,000 Um, why don't we wait to see how my mom's doing? 315 00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:19,000 Oh, okay, sure. 316 00:15:19,003 --> 00:15:24,000 Are you actually blaming an unborn child because you couldn't read a map? 317 00:15:24,003 --> 00:15:26,000 No, no, no, no. 318 00:15:26,003 --> 00:15:29,000 I'm blaming him because we're stuck in this Pennsylvania Dutch nightmare in 319 00:15:29,003 --> 00:15:30,000 the first place. 320 00:15:30,003 --> 00:15:31,000 It is not his fault. 321 00:15:31,003 --> 00:15:33,000 If people want to give him a quilt. 322 00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:37,000 Oh, please. 323 00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:39,000 I mean, what is the big deal about this kid anyway? 324 00:15:39,003 --> 00:15:40,000 I'm sorry. 325 00:15:40,003 --> 00:15:41,000 I know he's yours. 326 00:15:41,003 --> 00:15:42,000 Jesus Christ. 327 00:15:42,003 --> 00:15:43,000 He's just a baby. 328 00:15:43,003 --> 00:15:45,000 Look, a sign. 329 00:15:50,003 --> 00:15:51,000 Just a coincidence. 330 00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:02,000 Hey. 331 00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,000 Hey. 332 00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:06,000 How's it going? 333 00:16:06,003 --> 00:16:07,000 Great. 334 00:16:07,003 --> 00:16:11,000 You, uh, want a drink? 335 00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:12,000 I'd love one. 336 00:16:12,003 --> 00:16:14,000 I have you, who? 337 00:16:14,003 --> 00:16:17,000 Orange juice, pineapple juice, and seltzer. 338 00:16:17,003 --> 00:16:19,000 Seltzer would be good. 339 00:16:19,003 --> 00:16:21,000 Here, this is for you. 340 00:16:21,003 --> 00:16:27,000 Thanks. 341 00:16:27,003 --> 00:16:29,000 It's really pretty. 342 00:16:29,003 --> 00:16:36,000 Is that the, uh, thank you for your present or the beginning of mine? 343 00:16:40,003 --> 00:16:41,000 Hello? 344 00:16:41,003 --> 00:16:42,000 Jeremy? 345 00:16:42,003 --> 00:16:43,000 This is Dad. 346 00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:46,000 Look, your mother and I are stuck in Pennsylvania, okay? 347 00:16:46,003 --> 00:16:47,000 All the highways are closed. 348 00:16:47,003 --> 00:16:48,000 We're gonna have to spend the night. 349 00:16:48,003 --> 00:16:50,000 Now, are you, are you gonna be okay? 350 00:16:50,003 --> 00:16:51,000 Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine. 351 00:16:51,003 --> 00:16:52,000 No big deal. 352 00:16:52,003 --> 00:16:54,000 We're at the Bethlehem bedtime inn, okay? 353 00:16:54,003 --> 00:16:56,000 We don't have any room numbers yet. 354 00:16:56,003 --> 00:16:57,000 Great. Have a nice night. 355 00:16:57,003 --> 00:16:59,000 Wait, wait, wait, wait, Jeremy. 356 00:16:59,003 --> 00:17:02,000 I'm expecting a friend of mine around eight o'clock now. 357 00:17:02,003 --> 00:17:08,000 Her name is Mary Beth, and, and, and just, just tell her what happened and 358 00:17:08,003 --> 00:17:09,000 apologize for me, will you? 359 00:17:09,003 --> 00:17:10,000 Mm-hmm. 360 00:17:10,003 --> 00:17:12,000 Jeremy? 361 00:17:12,003 --> 00:17:15,000 I'm sorry. There is nothing I can do. 362 00:17:15,003 --> 00:17:17,000 That's ridiculous. You must have something. 363 00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:21,000 I'm telling you, ma'am, we're all booked up. Everyone's here for the putts. 364 00:17:21,003 --> 00:17:22,000 What? 365 00:17:22,003 --> 00:17:24,000 The Christmas putts. 366 00:17:24,003 --> 00:17:26,000 Who's the Christmas putts? 367 00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:28,000 Hello, anybody home? 368 00:17:28,003 --> 00:17:33,000 The putts is nahoo. It's our live pageant. The Moravian Christmas putts. 369 00:17:33,003 --> 00:17:38,000 You see, the city of Bethlehem was founded by Moravian missionaries in 1741. 370 00:17:38,003 --> 00:17:42,000 Thank you for that fascinating bit of local history, Mr. Quinn, but I have a 371 00:17:42,003 --> 00:17:43,000 pregnant woman here. 372 00:17:43,003 --> 00:17:45,781 Well, I'm sorry. There is nothing I can do. 373 00:17:45,793 --> 00:17:48,000 There is just no room at the end . 374 00:17:48,003 --> 00:17:50,000 Just a coincidence. 375 00:17:50,003 --> 00:17:53,000 Don't be ridiculous. You don't know who I am, do you? 376 00:17:53,003 --> 00:17:55,000 Come on, Judith. He's not gonna give us any money. 377 00:17:55,003 --> 00:17:58,000 You happen to be talking to Mrs. Richard Stone. 378 00:17:58,003 --> 00:18:03,000 Oh, yeah, yeah, I thought I recognized you. A Life magazine. 379 00:18:03,003 --> 00:18:04,000 Oh, my God. 380 00:18:04,003 --> 00:18:08,000 Helene, isn't the woman that's carrying the Richard Stone baby? 381 00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:10,000 Smile! 382 00:18:10,003 --> 00:18:12,000 It is. Oh, Mrs. Richard Stone. 383 00:18:12,003 --> 00:18:14,000 No, may we have a room? 384 00:18:14,003 --> 00:18:15,000 No. 385 00:18:15,003 --> 00:18:18,000 Merry Christmas, Mr. Quinn. 386 00:18:18,003 --> 00:18:25,000 It's really festive. 387 00:18:25,003 --> 00:18:27,000 Yeah, I thought so. 388 00:18:27,003 --> 00:18:31,000 We don't have to do this if you don't want to. 389 00:18:31,003 --> 00:18:33,000 No, I do. 390 00:18:33,003 --> 00:18:35,000 I really do. 391 00:18:35,003 --> 00:18:37,000 I don't know. Let's. 392 00:18:37,003 --> 00:19:01,000 No vacancies. Six motels and no vacancies. 393 00:19:01,003 --> 00:19:03,000 Maybe we should try one of these side roads. 394 00:19:03,003 --> 00:19:05,000 I hate this much. I hate it. 395 00:19:05,003 --> 00:19:08,000 Is it on? 396 00:19:08,003 --> 00:19:09,000 Yeah, it's on. 397 00:19:09,003 --> 00:19:10,000 Are you sure it's on? 398 00:19:10,003 --> 00:19:11,000 I'm positive. 399 00:19:11,003 --> 00:19:15,000 Okay, I'm just gonna... Okay. 400 00:19:15,003 --> 00:19:17,000 Ow! 401 00:19:17,003 --> 00:19:18,000 You're on my hair. 402 00:19:18,003 --> 00:19:19,000 Sorry. 403 00:19:19,003 --> 00:19:20,000 Okay. 404 00:19:20,003 --> 00:19:26,000 Oh, my God. 405 00:19:26,003 --> 00:19:29,000 Um, Jeremy? 406 00:19:29,003 --> 00:19:30,000 What? 407 00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:31,000 You're not. 408 00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,000 What? 409 00:19:33,003 --> 00:19:34,000 Yeah, I'm not. 410 00:19:34,003 --> 00:19:35,000 Yeah, I am. 411 00:19:35,003 --> 00:19:37,000 No, you're really not. 412 00:19:37,003 --> 00:19:45,000 Okay, that's it. 413 00:19:45,003 --> 00:19:46,000 That feels right. 414 00:19:46,003 --> 00:19:49,000 Feels right. That definitely feels right. 415 00:19:49,003 --> 00:19:51,000 Okay, here we go. 416 00:19:51,003 --> 00:19:58,000 I, uh... I think I already went. 417 00:20:09,003 --> 00:20:11,000 Why would the Almighty show this to me? 418 00:20:11,003 --> 00:20:13,000 I haven't been to church in years. 419 00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:15,000 It's a mind-boggler. 420 00:20:15,003 --> 00:20:18,000 Unless that's why I was chosen. 421 00:20:18,003 --> 00:20:22,000 Maybe... He's calling me back to the flock. 422 00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:25,000 Maybe he wants to use me for some larger purpose. 423 00:20:25,003 --> 00:20:26,000 Like what? 424 00:20:26,003 --> 00:20:28,000 Like typing his letters? 425 00:20:28,003 --> 00:20:30,000 Like answering his phones? 426 00:20:30,003 --> 00:20:32,000 You know what your problem is? 427 00:20:32,003 --> 00:20:35,000 You would think that the world revolves around you. 428 00:20:35,003 --> 00:20:39,000 Just because you're cracked some flat to the shape of the Blessed Virgin, 429 00:20:39,003 --> 00:20:41,000 you think that you can't stop. 430 00:20:41,003 --> 00:20:42,000 Let me tell you something. 431 00:20:42,003 --> 00:20:45,000 I am still nine months old within you. 432 00:20:45,003 --> 00:20:47,000 I know now what I must do. 433 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,000 For you, Mr. Charles. 434 00:20:58,003 --> 00:21:00,000 Thank you. 435 00:21:00,003 --> 00:21:02,000 Eddie Charles, hello. 436 00:21:02,003 --> 00:21:04,000 Dan, hey, where are you? 437 00:21:04,003 --> 00:21:06,000 Uh-huh. 438 00:21:06,003 --> 00:21:09,000 No, no, no, I understand. 439 00:21:09,003 --> 00:21:11,000 Uh, maybe next week then. 440 00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:17,000 Oh, well... Merry Christmas. 441 00:21:17,003 --> 00:21:23,000 Her mother's sick. 442 00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,000 Food poisoning. 443 00:21:26,003 --> 00:21:37,000 So, uh... Have fun in Barbados. 444 00:21:37,003 --> 00:21:39,000 Thanks. 445 00:21:39,003 --> 00:21:42,000 Anyway, I should go. 446 00:21:42,003 --> 00:21:48,000 Um, Shannon? 447 00:21:48,003 --> 00:21:50,000 Yeah? 448 00:21:50,003 --> 00:21:52,000 Enjoy this water. 449 00:21:55,003 --> 00:22:06,000 Great, great, great, great, great, great! 450 00:22:06,003 --> 00:22:08,000 Maybe they'll find our bodies in the spring. 451 00:22:08,003 --> 00:22:09,000 What am I doing here? 452 00:22:09,003 --> 00:22:10,000 I shouldn't be here. 453 00:22:10,003 --> 00:22:12,000 I should be home with Mary Beth. 454 00:22:12,003 --> 00:22:16,000 Richard should be stuck in the fucking snow with you. 455 00:22:16,003 --> 00:22:19,000 Yeah, if Richard were here, we probably wouldn't be stuck. 456 00:22:19,003 --> 00:22:20,000 But Richard's never here. 457 00:22:20,003 --> 00:22:21,562 And I'm sick of being the one you call when 458 00:22:21,574 --> 00:22:23,000 he's too busy saving the fucking world. 459 00:22:23,003 --> 00:22:25,000 I'm sick of being the fucking surrogate husband. 460 00:22:25,003 --> 00:22:27,000 Oh, all right. 461 00:22:27,003 --> 00:22:28,000 All right. 462 00:22:28,003 --> 00:22:30,000 That's just fine with me. 463 00:22:30,003 --> 00:22:31,000 And I promise you something. 464 00:22:31,003 --> 00:22:34,000 If I ever get out of this fucking car alive, 465 00:22:34,003 --> 00:22:38,000 I promise I will never, ever ask you to do anything for me ever again. 466 00:22:38,003 --> 00:22:41,000 Thank you, thank you very, very much. 467 00:22:41,003 --> 00:22:44,000 Come on. 468 00:22:44,003 --> 00:22:47,000 Martin. 469 00:22:47,003 --> 00:22:48,000 What? 470 00:22:48,003 --> 00:22:50,000 I think my water just broke. 471 00:22:50,003 --> 00:22:58,000 She's going to have a baby. 31992

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