Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:30,000
Later on, Tunesmith Neil Sadaka will
be dropping by to share his recipe for
2
00:01:30,003 --> 00:01:34,000
delicious potato latkes, a
traditional Hanukkah tree.
3
00:01:34,003 --> 00:01:37,000
Cuz you know, it's not just Christmas.
4
00:01:37,003 --> 00:01:39,000
No, it's not, is it?
5
00:01:39,003 --> 00:01:42,000
Oh, and there's more
holiday hijinks to come.
6
00:01:42,003 --> 00:01:45,000
You know, Christy, the holidays
seem to bring out the best in everyone.
7
00:01:45,003 --> 00:01:46,000
Excuse me.
8
00:01:46,003 --> 00:01:48,000
Do you think you could move in, sir?
9
00:01:48,003 --> 00:01:51,000
Because I certainly can't,
this is a solid mess here.
10
00:01:51,003 --> 00:01:52,000
Thank you.
11
00:01:52,003 --> 00:01:54,000
There she blows.
12
00:01:54,003 --> 00:01:58,000
Hey, Jude, Merry Christmas.
13
00:01:58,003 --> 00:02:00,000
Don't even try to pull
that cherry shit with me.
14
00:02:00,003 --> 00:02:03,000
I've got an eight pound
baby dancing on my bladder.
15
00:02:06,003 --> 00:02:07,000
Well, you look great.
16
00:02:07,003 --> 00:02:09,000
You're actually glowing.
17
00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:10,000
You know why?
18
00:02:10,003 --> 00:02:11,000
Because I'm hot.
19
00:02:11,003 --> 00:02:13,000
It's two degrees out and I'm hot.
20
00:02:13,003 --> 00:02:15,000
I am like a fucking toaster oven.
21
00:02:15,003 --> 00:02:18,000
And the baby isn't even
due for three more weeks.
22
00:02:18,003 --> 00:02:22,000
Three weeks until the arrival of
the amazing Richard Stone baby.
23
00:02:22,003 --> 00:02:24,000
See, that's what they're
all calling it, you know that?
24
00:02:24,003 --> 00:02:26,000
The Richard Stone baby.
25
00:02:26,003 --> 00:02:28,000
What am I, a police?
26
00:02:28,003 --> 00:02:29,000
Are you allowed to drink yet?
27
00:02:29,003 --> 00:02:34,000
I'm sorry, I'm just huge and hormonal.
28
00:02:34,003 --> 00:02:36,014
So I don't suppose
you'd like to take a
29
00:02:36,026 --> 00:02:38,000
drive to the country
with me tomorrow.
30
00:02:41,003 --> 00:02:42,000
I think not.
31
00:02:42,003 --> 00:02:44,000
I'll be good, I promise.
32
00:02:44,003 --> 00:02:45,000
Come on.
33
00:02:45,003 --> 00:02:48,000
It'll be great to spend some time
together before the baby comes.
34
00:02:48,003 --> 00:02:50,000
You know, just the two of us.
35
00:02:56,003 --> 00:02:57,000
That does sound kind of nice.
36
00:02:57,003 --> 00:02:59,000
What's in the country?
37
00:02:59,003 --> 00:03:03,000
Oh, some Amish village is supposed
to present Richard with this giant qu
38
00:03:03,003 --> 00:03:04,000
ilt they made for the baby.
39
00:03:08,003 --> 00:03:09,000
And where's Richard?
40
00:03:09,003 --> 00:03:11,000
He's stuck in Rome.
41
00:03:11,003 --> 00:03:12,470
Apparently his buddy,
the Pope, wants him
42
00:03:12,482 --> 00:03:14,000
to do a Christmas
Mass with him this year.
43
00:03:14,003 --> 00:03:16,000
You know, sort of like a, a ghost.
44
00:03:16,003 --> 00:03:18,000
And so you thought of me.
45
00:03:18,003 --> 00:03:19,000
Well, I'm afraid I can't.
46
00:03:19,003 --> 00:03:21,000
I have a lot of work to
do before the holiday.
47
00:03:21,003 --> 00:03:22,000
Okay.
48
00:03:22,003 --> 00:03:23,000
No problem.
49
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:24,000
I'll just go alone.
50
00:03:24,003 --> 00:03:25,000
Fine.
51
00:03:25,003 --> 00:03:26,000
Excuse me.
52
00:03:26,003 --> 00:03:28,000
Could we have some bread, please?
53
00:03:28,003 --> 00:03:30,000
Some of us are here to eat.
54
00:03:30,003 --> 00:03:31,000
Thank you.
55
00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:35,000
What do you think the woman of
today needs most in dealing with the
56
00:03:35,003 --> 00:03:37,000
problems of motherhood?
57
00:03:37,003 --> 00:03:39,000
A bottle of whiskey and a psychiatrist.
58
00:03:53,003 --> 00:03:54,000
Hang on.
59
00:03:54,003 --> 00:03:55,000
We're going to hit.
60
00:03:55,003 --> 00:03:56,000
Bullseye!
61
00:03:59,003 --> 00:04:00,000
What the hell?
62
00:04:00,003 --> 00:04:02,000
Isn't it great?
63
00:04:02,003 --> 00:04:05,000
I got it as a stocking
stuffer for my nephew Petey.
64
00:04:05,003 --> 00:04:08,000
It was either this or a little tank
that shoots plastic pellets that could
65
00:04:08,003 --> 00:04:09,000
take your eye out.
66
00:04:09,003 --> 00:04:12,000
But Petey's only got one eye,
so I thought, woof, but or not.
67
00:04:12,003 --> 00:04:14,000
What a lovely Christmas story.
68
00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:17,000
Speaking of which, I got this
great idea for a Christmas book for kids.
69
00:04:17,003 --> 00:04:21,000
It's the story of the birth of
Christ, only it's all told with cows.
70
00:04:21,003 --> 00:04:22,000
Cows?
71
00:04:22,003 --> 00:04:24,000
It's utterly mad.
72
00:04:24,003 --> 00:04:25,000
Sure.
73
00:04:25,003 --> 00:04:26,000
Kids love cows.
74
00:04:26,003 --> 00:04:27,000
It's the same story.
75
00:04:27,003 --> 00:04:29,000
Jesus married Joseph the whole schmear.
76
00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:31,000
Only in a cow kind of way.
77
00:04:31,003 --> 00:04:34,000
Believe me, after 12 years of
Catholic school, anything you could do to
78
00:04:34,003 --> 00:04:36,000
spice up the material couldn't hurt.
79
00:04:36,003 --> 00:04:38,000
Oh, that sounds... Moo.
80
00:04:38,003 --> 00:04:39,000
Fascinating.
81
00:04:39,003 --> 00:04:42,000
I just have a couple of questions
about the whole cow concept.
82
00:04:42,003 --> 00:04:43,000
Such as?
83
00:04:43,003 --> 00:04:46,000
Well, when they say, no, no room
for them at the end, won't it seem like
84
00:04:46,003 --> 00:04:48,000
maybe it's because of their cows?
85
00:04:48,003 --> 00:04:50,000
And when they have to sleep in a
manger, doesn't that sort of make sense?
86
00:04:50,003 --> 00:04:51,394
Considering that
they're cows and the
87
00:04:51,406 --> 00:04:53,000
wise men, how wise
can a bunch of cows ...
88
00:04:53,003 --> 00:04:54,000
Okay, okay.
89
00:04:54,003 --> 00:04:55,000
I hear you.
90
00:04:55,003 --> 00:05:01,000
You know, I get so few ideas.
91
00:05:01,003 --> 00:05:04,000
You can at least pretend to be interested.
92
00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:08,000
Great!
93
00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:10,000
That is just great.
94
00:05:10,003 --> 00:05:12,000
I hope you're happy.
95
00:05:12,003 --> 00:05:13,000
Shh.
96
00:05:13,003 --> 00:05:14,000
Come on.
97
00:05:14,003 --> 00:05:19,000
What, what, what is it?
98
00:05:19,003 --> 00:05:20,000
It's Mary.
99
00:05:20,003 --> 00:05:21,000
Mary who?
100
00:05:21,003 --> 00:05:23,000
The virgin Mary.
101
00:05:23,003 --> 00:05:24,000
In the cracks.
102
00:05:24,003 --> 00:05:27,000
Have you seen it? Have you seen it?
103
00:05:27,003 --> 00:05:28,000
Seen what?
104
00:05:28,003 --> 00:05:29,000
It's marvelous.
105
00:05:29,003 --> 00:05:30,000
It's marvelous.
106
00:05:30,003 --> 00:05:31,000
I can't believe it.
107
00:05:31,003 --> 00:05:32,000
I sort of see a rabbit.
108
00:05:38,003 --> 00:05:46,000
You know what I heard?
109
00:05:46,003 --> 00:05:50,000
After Lyle Schwartz's party, Ashley
Clinger and Brian Sericino did it.
110
00:05:50,003 --> 00:05:51,000
No way.
111
00:05:51,003 --> 00:05:54,000
They've only been going
out for like three weeks.
112
00:05:54,003 --> 00:05:56,000
That's totally pathetic.
113
00:05:56,003 --> 00:05:59,000
Yeah, yeah, that's what I thought.
114
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:05,000
So do you think you could
ever see us... Doing it?
115
00:06:05,003 --> 00:06:06,000
No.
116
00:06:06,003 --> 00:06:07,000
No, it's not what I was thinking.
117
00:06:07,003 --> 00:06:10,000
But it is an interesting question, though.
118
00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:15,000
Well, actually, it was
supposed to be a surprise,
119
00:06:15,003 --> 00:06:19,000
but that was going to
be her Christmas present.
120
00:06:19,003 --> 00:06:20,000
Wow.
121
00:06:20,003 --> 00:06:21,000
Yeah.
122
00:06:21,003 --> 00:06:23,000
I only got you a sweater.
123
00:06:23,003 --> 00:06:28,000
I've kind of wanted to for
a long time, but then I thought,
124
00:06:28,003 --> 00:06:31,000
you know, Christmas would be more special.
125
00:06:31,003 --> 00:06:32,000
Sure, sure.
126
00:06:32,003 --> 00:06:34,000
We're talking this Christmas, right?
127
00:06:34,003 --> 00:06:35,000
Yeah.
128
00:06:35,003 --> 00:06:39,000
I was thinking maybe Christmas
Eve, like tomorrow night.
129
00:06:39,003 --> 00:06:40,000
I'm afraid.
130
00:06:40,003 --> 00:06:50,000
What?
131
00:06:50,003 --> 00:06:51,000
You're cool.
132
00:06:51,003 --> 00:06:52,000
Oh, yummy, yummy.
133
00:06:52,003 --> 00:06:54,000
These potato lackeys are so delicious.
134
00:06:54,003 --> 00:06:57,000
They almost make you
wish that you were Jewish.
135
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,000
Join us tomorrow for
more holiday fun and surprises.
136
00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:02,000
Bye-bye, everybody.
137
00:07:02,003 --> 00:07:03,000
Bye-bye.
138
00:07:03,003 --> 00:07:04,000
We'll see you tomorrow.
139
00:07:04,003 --> 00:07:05,000
Have a good plan.
140
00:07:05,003 --> 00:07:11,000
If anybody cares, I have got
lackey grease all over my fingers.
141
00:07:11,003 --> 00:07:13,000
Come and get Kristy a doll.
142
00:07:13,003 --> 00:07:21,000
Hello.
143
00:07:21,003 --> 00:07:22,000
Hey, bud.
144
00:07:22,003 --> 00:07:23,883
How would you
like to go out with an
145
00:07:23,895 --> 00:07:26,000
incredibly attractive
dental technician?
146
00:07:26,003 --> 00:07:28,000
Who you're not going out with because?
147
00:07:28,003 --> 00:07:32,000
I subsequently made a date with
an even more attractive lingerie model.
148
00:07:32,003 --> 00:07:34,000
Trading up again, huh, Eddie?
149
00:07:34,003 --> 00:07:36,000
How do you sleep at night?
150
00:07:36,003 --> 00:07:37,000
Not alone.
151
00:07:37,003 --> 00:07:38,000
I'll tell you that.
152
00:07:38,003 --> 00:07:39,000
Come on, man.
153
00:07:39,003 --> 00:07:40,000
Help me out here.
154
00:07:40,003 --> 00:07:41,000
Hey, it's tomorrow.
155
00:07:41,003 --> 00:07:42,000
Well, see, there you go.
156
00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:44,000
I already have a date tomorrow night.
157
00:07:44,003 --> 00:07:45,000
With?
158
00:07:45,003 --> 00:07:47,000
You remember I told you about
that wrong number from Texas.
159
00:07:47,003 --> 00:07:49,000
Who, the phone sex lady?
160
00:07:49,003 --> 00:07:53,000
Well, I like to think it's
gone a bit beyond that, but yes,
161
00:07:53,003 --> 00:07:55,000
yes, Mary Beth is coming
to New York tomorrow night.
162
00:07:55,003 --> 00:07:58,000
Okay, so you haven't actually
seen this woman then, right?
163
00:07:58,003 --> 00:08:01,000
And so for all you know,
she could have a hump.
164
00:08:01,003 --> 00:08:02,000
And I know mine doesn't.
165
00:08:03,003 --> 00:08:05,000
Goodbye, Eddie.
166
00:08:05,003 --> 00:08:06,000
Oh, come on, man.
167
00:08:06,003 --> 00:08:07,000
A hump in her lazy eye.
168
00:08:07,003 --> 00:08:09,000
A hump in her leg.
169
00:08:09,003 --> 00:08:10,000
She drags behind.
170
00:08:10,003 --> 00:08:20,000
Morning.
171
00:08:20,003 --> 00:08:21,000
Morning.
172
00:08:21,003 --> 00:08:23,000
Listen, do you know when
you're going out tonight and
173
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,000
where you're going and
what time you'll be back?
174
00:08:25,003 --> 00:08:29,000
Seven-ish probably after
dinner, and I really have no idea why.
175
00:08:29,003 --> 00:08:30,000
No reason.
176
00:08:30,003 --> 00:08:32,000
Just curious about you and your life.
177
00:08:32,003 --> 00:08:33,000
Boom.
178
00:08:33,003 --> 00:08:34,000
Boom.
179
00:08:34,003 --> 00:08:35,000
You okay?
180
00:08:35,003 --> 00:08:36,000
Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.
181
00:08:36,003 --> 00:08:37,000
It's just Christmas Eve day.
182
00:08:37,003 --> 00:08:38,000
It's a special time of year.
183
00:08:38,003 --> 00:08:40,000
You sure you're okay?
184
00:08:40,003 --> 00:08:41,000
Yeah.
185
00:08:41,003 --> 00:08:43,000
You just poured
orange juice in your cereal.
186
00:08:43,003 --> 00:08:45,000
Oh.
187
00:08:45,003 --> 00:08:47,000
Oh, yeah, I know.
188
00:08:47,003 --> 00:08:48,000
It's the '90s, Dad.
189
00:08:48,003 --> 00:08:50,000
All the kids eat it this way.
190
00:08:53,003 --> 00:09:00,000
It's gratifying for a man to see
his own brains coming out in his sun.
191
00:09:15,003 --> 00:09:17,000
Line up and get your presents.
192
00:09:17,003 --> 00:09:20,000
Plenty of presents for everyone.
193
00:09:20,003 --> 00:09:25,000
So I was talking to my boss,
Martin Tupper, about this great Christmas
194
00:09:25,003 --> 00:09:27,000
story idea I had about cops.
195
00:09:27,003 --> 00:09:29,000
That's fascinating, Miss Petalby.
196
00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:30,000
And then what happened?
197
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:33,000
I turned and I looked,
and there she was.
198
00:09:33,003 --> 00:09:34,835
Her hair was a
little shorter than I
199
00:09:34,847 --> 00:09:37,000
remember from
Catechism, but it was merry.
200
00:09:37,003 --> 00:09:38,000
No doubt about it.
201
00:09:38,003 --> 00:09:39,000
There you have it.
202
00:09:39,003 --> 00:09:43,000
Not since Jesus was spotted in a
Campbell's suit billboard in Pittsburgh.
203
00:09:43,003 --> 00:09:46,000
Have we seen such religious fervor?
204
00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:50,000
This is Susan Saladul, live at
the site of the Petalby Madonna.
205
00:09:50,003 --> 00:09:52,000
The posted thingies are five bucks.
206
00:09:52,003 --> 00:09:53,000
The pencils are 10 bucks.
207
00:09:53,003 --> 00:09:54,000
Take a pencil.
208
00:09:54,003 --> 00:09:56,000
It's like owning a piece of the true cost.
209
00:09:56,003 --> 00:09:58,000
And you can write with it.
210
00:09:58,003 --> 00:10:00,000
Martin Tupper's office.
211
00:10:00,003 --> 00:10:04,000
Please come to Pennsylvania with me.
212
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:05,000
Who is this?
213
00:10:05,003 --> 00:10:06,000
It's me.
214
00:10:06,003 --> 00:10:09,000
You remember, Pennsylvania Dutch country?
215
00:10:09,003 --> 00:10:11,000
Oh, please, please.
216
00:10:11,003 --> 00:10:13,000
I'm just -- I'm feeling so happy today.
217
00:10:13,003 --> 00:10:16,000
I don't know.
218
00:10:16,003 --> 00:10:17,000
I have a date tonight.
219
00:10:17,003 --> 00:10:18,000
Come on.
220
00:10:18,003 --> 00:10:22,000
You'll be home by 6,
5 -- 4.30 at the latest.
221
00:10:22,003 --> 00:10:23,000
I don't think so.
222
00:10:23,003 --> 00:10:25,000
I can see.
223
00:10:25,003 --> 00:10:28,000
Not clearly, but I can see.
224
00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:33,000
Get me out of here
now to where I see anything.
225
00:10:33,003 --> 00:10:36,000
Hey!
226
00:10:36,003 --> 00:10:43,000
I didn't recognize the car.
227
00:10:43,003 --> 00:10:44,000
Oh, it's a loner.
228
00:10:44,003 --> 00:10:47,000
I had a little bender bender.
229
00:10:47,003 --> 00:10:49,000
Thank you so much for coming with me.
230
00:10:49,003 --> 00:10:52,000
I mean, it really -- it really means a lot.
231
00:10:52,003 --> 00:10:55,000
I'm happy to do it.
232
00:10:55,003 --> 00:10:58,000
I'm happy to do it.
233
00:10:58,003 --> 00:11:00,000
I'm happy to do it.
234
00:11:00,003 --> 00:11:03,000
I'm happy to do it.
235
00:11:20,003 --> 00:11:22,000
Just don't tell Rudolph.
236
00:11:22,003 --> 00:11:26,000
Oh, and there's a lot
more holiday hijinks to come.
237
00:11:26,003 --> 00:11:29,000
So don't go away.
238
00:11:29,003 --> 00:11:35,000
And we're clear.
239
00:11:35,003 --> 00:11:38,000
Cheryl, hey, it's Eddie.
240
00:11:38,003 --> 00:11:41,000
Listen, are we definitely on for tonight?
241
00:11:41,003 --> 00:11:42,000
Excellent.
242
00:11:42,003 --> 00:11:44,000
Why don't you come
by the studio, round six?
243
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:45,000
All right.
244
00:11:45,003 --> 00:11:51,000
See you then.
245
00:11:51,003 --> 00:11:55,000
Cynthia, hi, it's Eddie.
246
00:11:55,003 --> 00:11:58,000
Listen, I don't think
tonight's going to be good.
247
00:11:58,003 --> 00:11:59,000
Food poisoning?
248
00:11:59,003 --> 00:12:01,000
Yeah.
249
00:12:01,003 --> 00:12:03,000
Muscles, marinara.
250
00:12:03,003 --> 00:12:06,000
You know, I just feel so bad about tonight.
251
00:12:06,003 --> 00:12:08,000
Uh-oh, going to be sick again.
252
00:12:08,003 --> 00:12:09,000
Got to go.
253
00:12:09,003 --> 00:12:11,000
Bye.
254
00:12:11,003 --> 00:12:12,000
Back, guys.
255
00:12:12,003 --> 00:12:13,000
Disgusting.
256
00:12:13,003 --> 00:12:14,000
Like I care.
257
00:12:14,003 --> 00:12:15,000
Fuck you.
258
00:12:15,003 --> 00:12:17,000
Welcome back, everyone.
259
00:12:17,003 --> 00:12:21,000
Well, Mr. Weatherman tells us it
looks like we're going to have a white
260
00:12:21,003 --> 00:12:23,000
Christmas after all.
261
00:12:23,003 --> 00:12:29,000
Jingle bells, jingle
bells, jingle all the way.
262
00:12:29,003 --> 00:12:32,000
I said let's just take the
Pennsylvania turn cart.
263
00:12:32,003 --> 00:12:34,000
No, no, you had to save money on tolls.
264
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,000
Excuse me.
265
00:12:35,003 --> 00:12:37,000
I'm just a little bit busy right now, okay?
266
00:12:37,003 --> 00:12:39,000
I said I'd pay the tolls, but no.
267
00:12:39,003 --> 00:12:42,000
Okay, look, why don't you
stop talking and watch the road.
268
00:12:56,003 --> 00:12:57,000
Hey, hey, wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait a minute.
269
00:12:57,003 --> 00:12:58,000
Oh, look here.
270
00:12:58,003 --> 00:12:59,000
Damn.
271
00:12:59,003 --> 00:13:01,000
Damn, there's a sign.
272
00:13:01,003 --> 00:13:02,000
What did it say?
273
00:13:02,003 --> 00:13:03,000
I couldn't see it.
274
00:13:03,003 --> 00:13:05,000
I was too busy watching the road.
275
00:13:05,003 --> 00:13:07,000
Well, just keep your hands
on the wheel, will you?
276
00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:08,000
Don't you tell me how to drive.
277
00:13:08,003 --> 00:13:09,000
Excuse me.
278
00:13:21,003 --> 00:13:22,000
Stop humming.
279
00:13:37,003 --> 00:13:40,000
You have to pee again.
280
00:13:40,003 --> 00:13:42,000
I warned you about getting that big gulp.
281
00:13:42,003 --> 00:13:43,000
Well, I was thirsty.
282
00:13:43,003 --> 00:13:46,000
Well, if you have to, you can
always use the souvenir cup.
283
00:13:46,003 --> 00:13:48,000
Oh, you'd really like that, wouldn't you?
284
00:13:48,003 --> 00:13:49,000
To watch you pee in a cup?
285
00:13:49,003 --> 00:13:51,000
Oh, more than anything.
286
00:13:51,003 --> 00:13:54,000
I mean, who cares if I miss my
date, as long as I get to see that.
287
00:14:11,003 --> 00:14:13,000
Eddie Charles.
288
00:14:13,003 --> 00:14:14,000
Damn.
289
00:14:14,003 --> 00:14:17,000
Hey, when did you get back?
290
00:14:17,003 --> 00:14:18,000
Fantastic.
291
00:14:18,003 --> 00:14:21,000
Listen, I saw your movie.
292
00:14:21,003 --> 00:14:23,000
You were unbelievable.
293
00:14:23,003 --> 00:14:24,000
Yeah.
294
00:14:24,003 --> 00:14:27,000
So, when can I see you?
295
00:14:27,003 --> 00:14:29,000
Tonight?
296
00:14:29,003 --> 00:14:31,000
No, no, tonight is great.
297
00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:34,000
I'll see you around seven below right.
298
00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:36,000
See you there.
299
00:14:36,003 --> 00:14:39,000
Yes.
300
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,000
Hi.
301
00:14:40,003 --> 00:14:43,000
Hey, Cheryl.
302
00:14:43,003 --> 00:14:44,000
I'm sorry I'm late.
303
00:14:44,003 --> 00:14:45,000
The shoot ran long.
304
00:14:45,003 --> 00:14:47,000
So, what do you want to do?
305
00:14:47,003 --> 00:14:55,000
What I want to do is take you out
to dinner, but I just found out that my
306
00:14:55,003 --> 00:14:59,000
mother is really sick, and
I really should go see her.
307
00:14:59,003 --> 00:15:01,000
I'm sorry.
308
00:15:01,003 --> 00:15:02,000
Oh, God, no.
309
00:15:02,003 --> 00:15:03,000
I hope she feels better.
310
00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:05,000
Thanks.
311
00:15:05,003 --> 00:15:07,000
Come here.
312
00:15:07,003 --> 00:15:10,000
Oh, you are so good.
313
00:15:10,003 --> 00:15:13,000
By the way, are we still on for New Year's?
314
00:15:13,003 --> 00:15:17,000
Um, why don't we wait to
see how my mom's doing?
315
00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:19,000
Oh, okay, sure.
316
00:15:19,003 --> 00:15:24,000
Are you actually blaming an unborn
child because you couldn't read a map?
317
00:15:24,003 --> 00:15:26,000
No, no, no, no.
318
00:15:26,003 --> 00:15:29,000
I'm blaming him because we're stuck
in this Pennsylvania Dutch nightmare in
319
00:15:29,003 --> 00:15:30,000
the first place.
320
00:15:30,003 --> 00:15:31,000
It is not his fault.
321
00:15:31,003 --> 00:15:33,000
If people want to give him a quilt.
322
00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:37,000
Oh, please.
323
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:39,000
I mean, what is the big
deal about this kid anyway?
324
00:15:39,003 --> 00:15:40,000
I'm sorry.
325
00:15:40,003 --> 00:15:41,000
I know he's yours.
326
00:15:41,003 --> 00:15:42,000
Jesus Christ.
327
00:15:42,003 --> 00:15:43,000
He's just a baby.
328
00:15:43,003 --> 00:15:45,000
Look, a sign.
329
00:15:50,003 --> 00:15:51,000
Just a coincidence.
330
00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:02,000
Hey.
331
00:16:02,003 --> 00:16:03,000
Hey.
332
00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:06,000
How's it going?
333
00:16:06,003 --> 00:16:07,000
Great.
334
00:16:07,003 --> 00:16:11,000
You, uh, want a drink?
335
00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:12,000
I'd love one.
336
00:16:12,003 --> 00:16:14,000
I have you, who?
337
00:16:14,003 --> 00:16:17,000
Orange juice, pineapple juice, and seltzer.
338
00:16:17,003 --> 00:16:19,000
Seltzer would be good.
339
00:16:19,003 --> 00:16:21,000
Here, this is for you.
340
00:16:21,003 --> 00:16:27,000
Thanks.
341
00:16:27,003 --> 00:16:29,000
It's really pretty.
342
00:16:29,003 --> 00:16:36,000
Is that the, uh, thank you for your
present or the beginning of mine?
343
00:16:40,003 --> 00:16:41,000
Hello?
344
00:16:41,003 --> 00:16:42,000
Jeremy?
345
00:16:42,003 --> 00:16:43,000
This is Dad.
346
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:46,000
Look, your mother and I are
stuck in Pennsylvania, okay?
347
00:16:46,003 --> 00:16:47,000
All the highways are closed.
348
00:16:47,003 --> 00:16:48,000
We're gonna have to spend the night.
349
00:16:48,003 --> 00:16:50,000
Now, are you, are you gonna be okay?
350
00:16:50,003 --> 00:16:51,000
Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine.
351
00:16:51,003 --> 00:16:52,000
No big deal.
352
00:16:52,003 --> 00:16:54,000
We're at the Bethlehem bedtime inn, okay?
353
00:16:54,003 --> 00:16:56,000
We don't have any room numbers yet.
354
00:16:56,003 --> 00:16:57,000
Great. Have a nice night.
355
00:16:57,003 --> 00:16:59,000
Wait, wait, wait, wait, Jeremy.
356
00:16:59,003 --> 00:17:02,000
I'm expecting a friend of
mine around eight o'clock now.
357
00:17:02,003 --> 00:17:08,000
Her name is Mary Beth, and, and,
and just, just tell her what happened and
358
00:17:08,003 --> 00:17:09,000
apologize for me, will you?
359
00:17:09,003 --> 00:17:10,000
Mm-hmm.
360
00:17:10,003 --> 00:17:12,000
Jeremy?
361
00:17:12,003 --> 00:17:15,000
I'm sorry. There is nothing I can do.
362
00:17:15,003 --> 00:17:17,000
That's ridiculous. You must have something.
363
00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:21,000
I'm telling you, ma'am, we're all
booked up. Everyone's here for the putts.
364
00:17:21,003 --> 00:17:22,000
What?
365
00:17:22,003 --> 00:17:24,000
The Christmas putts.
366
00:17:24,003 --> 00:17:26,000
Who's the Christmas putts?
367
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:28,000
Hello, anybody home?
368
00:17:28,003 --> 00:17:33,000
The putts is nahoo. It's our live pageant.
The Moravian Christmas putts.
369
00:17:33,003 --> 00:17:38,000
You see, the city of Bethlehem was
founded by Moravian missionaries in 1741.
370
00:17:38,003 --> 00:17:42,000
Thank you for that fascinating bit of
local history, Mr. Quinn, but I have a
371
00:17:42,003 --> 00:17:43,000
pregnant woman here.
372
00:17:43,003 --> 00:17:45,781
Well, I'm sorry. There
is nothing I can do.
373
00:17:45,793 --> 00:17:48,000
There is just no
room at the end .
374
00:17:48,003 --> 00:17:50,000
Just a coincidence.
375
00:17:50,003 --> 00:17:53,000
Don't be ridiculous.
You don't know who I am, do you?
376
00:17:53,003 --> 00:17:55,000
Come on, Judith.
He's not gonna give us any money.
377
00:17:55,003 --> 00:17:58,000
You happen to be talking to Mrs.
Richard Stone.
378
00:17:58,003 --> 00:18:03,000
Oh, yeah, yeah, I thought I recognized you.
A Life magazine.
379
00:18:03,003 --> 00:18:04,000
Oh, my God.
380
00:18:04,003 --> 00:18:08,000
Helene, isn't the woman that's
carrying the Richard Stone baby?
381
00:18:08,003 --> 00:18:10,000
Smile!
382
00:18:10,003 --> 00:18:12,000
It is. Oh, Mrs. Richard Stone.
383
00:18:12,003 --> 00:18:14,000
No, may we have a room?
384
00:18:14,003 --> 00:18:15,000
No.
385
00:18:15,003 --> 00:18:18,000
Merry Christmas, Mr. Quinn.
386
00:18:18,003 --> 00:18:25,000
It's really festive.
387
00:18:25,003 --> 00:18:27,000
Yeah, I thought so.
388
00:18:27,003 --> 00:18:31,000
We don't have to do
this if you don't want to.
389
00:18:31,003 --> 00:18:33,000
No, I do.
390
00:18:33,003 --> 00:18:35,000
I really do.
391
00:18:35,003 --> 00:18:37,000
I don't know. Let's.
392
00:18:37,003 --> 00:19:01,000
No vacancies. Six motels and no vacancies.
393
00:19:01,003 --> 00:19:03,000
Maybe we should try
one of these side roads.
394
00:19:03,003 --> 00:19:05,000
I hate this much. I hate it.
395
00:19:05,003 --> 00:19:08,000
Is it on?
396
00:19:08,003 --> 00:19:09,000
Yeah, it's on.
397
00:19:09,003 --> 00:19:10,000
Are you sure it's on?
398
00:19:10,003 --> 00:19:11,000
I'm positive.
399
00:19:11,003 --> 00:19:15,000
Okay, I'm just gonna... Okay.
400
00:19:15,003 --> 00:19:17,000
Ow!
401
00:19:17,003 --> 00:19:18,000
You're on my hair.
402
00:19:18,003 --> 00:19:19,000
Sorry.
403
00:19:19,003 --> 00:19:20,000
Okay.
404
00:19:20,003 --> 00:19:26,000
Oh, my God.
405
00:19:26,003 --> 00:19:29,000
Um, Jeremy?
406
00:19:29,003 --> 00:19:30,000
What?
407
00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:31,000
You're not.
408
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:33,000
What?
409
00:19:33,003 --> 00:19:34,000
Yeah, I'm not.
410
00:19:34,003 --> 00:19:35,000
Yeah, I am.
411
00:19:35,003 --> 00:19:37,000
No, you're really not.
412
00:19:37,003 --> 00:19:45,000
Okay, that's it.
413
00:19:45,003 --> 00:19:46,000
That feels right.
414
00:19:46,003 --> 00:19:49,000
Feels right. That definitely feels right.
415
00:19:49,003 --> 00:19:51,000
Okay, here we go.
416
00:19:51,003 --> 00:19:58,000
I, uh... I think I already went.
417
00:20:09,003 --> 00:20:11,000
Why would the Almighty show this to me?
418
00:20:11,003 --> 00:20:13,000
I haven't been to church in years.
419
00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:15,000
It's a mind-boggler.
420
00:20:15,003 --> 00:20:18,000
Unless that's why I was chosen.
421
00:20:18,003 --> 00:20:22,000
Maybe... He's calling
me back to the flock.
422
00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:25,000
Maybe he wants to use
me for some larger purpose.
423
00:20:25,003 --> 00:20:26,000
Like what?
424
00:20:26,003 --> 00:20:28,000
Like typing his letters?
425
00:20:28,003 --> 00:20:30,000
Like answering his phones?
426
00:20:30,003 --> 00:20:32,000
You know what your problem is?
427
00:20:32,003 --> 00:20:35,000
You would think that the
world revolves around you.
428
00:20:35,003 --> 00:20:39,000
Just because you're cracked some
flat to the shape of the Blessed Virgin,
429
00:20:39,003 --> 00:20:41,000
you think that you can't stop.
430
00:20:41,003 --> 00:20:42,000
Let me tell you something.
431
00:20:42,003 --> 00:20:45,000
I am still nine months old within you.
432
00:20:45,003 --> 00:20:47,000
I know now what I must do.
433
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,000
For you, Mr. Charles.
434
00:20:58,003 --> 00:21:00,000
Thank you.
435
00:21:00,003 --> 00:21:02,000
Eddie Charles, hello.
436
00:21:02,003 --> 00:21:04,000
Dan, hey, where are you?
437
00:21:04,003 --> 00:21:06,000
Uh-huh.
438
00:21:06,003 --> 00:21:09,000
No, no, no, I understand.
439
00:21:09,003 --> 00:21:11,000
Uh, maybe next week then.
440
00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:17,000
Oh, well... Merry Christmas.
441
00:21:17,003 --> 00:21:23,000
Her mother's sick.
442
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,000
Food poisoning.
443
00:21:26,003 --> 00:21:37,000
So, uh... Have fun in Barbados.
444
00:21:37,003 --> 00:21:39,000
Thanks.
445
00:21:39,003 --> 00:21:42,000
Anyway, I should go.
446
00:21:42,003 --> 00:21:48,000
Um, Shannon?
447
00:21:48,003 --> 00:21:50,000
Yeah?
448
00:21:50,003 --> 00:21:52,000
Enjoy this water.
449
00:21:55,003 --> 00:22:06,000
Great, great, great, great, great, great!
450
00:22:06,003 --> 00:22:08,000
Maybe they'll find our
bodies in the spring.
451
00:22:08,003 --> 00:22:09,000
What am I doing here?
452
00:22:09,003 --> 00:22:10,000
I shouldn't be here.
453
00:22:10,003 --> 00:22:12,000
I should be home with Mary Beth.
454
00:22:12,003 --> 00:22:16,000
Richard should be stuck in
the fucking snow with you.
455
00:22:16,003 --> 00:22:19,000
Yeah, if Richard were here,
we probably wouldn't be stuck.
456
00:22:19,003 --> 00:22:20,000
But Richard's never here.
457
00:22:20,003 --> 00:22:21,562
And I'm sick of being
the one you call when
458
00:22:21,574 --> 00:22:23,000
he's too busy saving
the fucking world.
459
00:22:23,003 --> 00:22:25,000
I'm sick of being the
fucking surrogate husband.
460
00:22:25,003 --> 00:22:27,000
Oh, all right.
461
00:22:27,003 --> 00:22:28,000
All right.
462
00:22:28,003 --> 00:22:30,000
That's just fine with me.
463
00:22:30,003 --> 00:22:31,000
And I promise you something.
464
00:22:31,003 --> 00:22:34,000
If I ever get out of
this fucking car alive,
465
00:22:34,003 --> 00:22:38,000
I promise I will never, ever ask
you to do anything for me ever again.
466
00:22:38,003 --> 00:22:41,000
Thank you, thank you very, very much.
467
00:22:41,003 --> 00:22:44,000
Come on.
468
00:22:44,003 --> 00:22:47,000
Martin.
469
00:22:47,003 --> 00:22:48,000
What?
470
00:22:48,003 --> 00:22:50,000
I think my water just broke.
471
00:22:50,003 --> 00:22:58,000
She's going to have a baby.
31992
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.