All language subtitles for Wynonna.Earp.Vengeance.2024.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC5.1MERCURIO(-[YTS.MX]

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Did someone order the spicy tuna?

Mercedes, how many
times I gotta tell you?

Hush. You'll scare the trout.

As long as you're not telling anybody

that we're hanging out, Randy.

What choice do I have?

When it comes to purgatory
friendships? It's, uh.

Slim pickings at the fishing hut.

A jiggler? What is
this, trawling for noobs?

Shortbread Martini?

Oh! Do you add my nutmeg twist?

Please.

Okay, they're biting.

-Oh, they're really biting.

What did you do, bait
the lines with crack?

Sheesh, boys. Buy me dinner first.

Do you think we can make it to the cars?

We've gotta hoof it.

Good thing I always dress for cardio.

Nedley!

Sheriff Nedley?

Randy?

Maybe a little.

Hell was cold and dark

and I've been on my own for years.

Look, Loch Mess.
I don't know what you are.

Not here for you.

But just to be sure.

This is the Ghost River Triangle

where bad things
happen to good people?

Hey, bad thing.

Get away from her.

Sure, Grandpa.

Though, isn't she a
little bit young for you?

Not that young.

Way to kick a girl when she's down.

She's the second best angler I know.

And she's my friend.

Look, I'm not picky.

I only need one of you
to bring me the heir.

The Earp heir?

Wynonna.

Hey, snow snatch!

Not him.

You want Earp?

I've been her ride-or-die
since high school.

But guess what?

Wynonna doesn't live here anymore.

Oh, I know.

But she'll be back

once I bait the hook.

Eenie, meenie, miney,

ho.

Not the face.

It's been through so much.

And I wish I could see the look on yours

when Wynonna Earp kicks your icy ass!

No. No!

# Tell that devil to take you back #

# Take you back, take you back #

# My heart went from red to black #

# Red to black, red to black #

# Came in from that lake of fire #

# Lake of fire, lake of fire #

# Only had that one desire #

# One desire, one desire #

# Got a mouth full of gasoline #

# Don't you bring your fight to me #

Gentlemen.

Which one of you's gonna
flush my back door?

Ah! I didn't even get to cheat yet.

You hit like a girl.

Hard and with perfect form.

What kind of idiot thinks
she can scam Paco Daisy

in his own casino?

The kind that doesn't carry an ID.

Though you are one chips and
guac away from a free chalupa.

Asshole.

That's na-cho's to take.

Hey, what's with the Wyatt Earp swag?

Right. Famous law man.

Old West Shootout in the O.K. Corral,

right here in Tombstone.

Guys, he's a big deal around these parts.

White folks do love their violent heroes.

When they're feeling patriotic,

they spend more at the buffet.

Wyatt Earp?

Just another apocryphal coloniser

who got a revisionist history
thanks to his big gun.

Hey, I apologise, Chayton.

I assumed you were just the muscle.

Got my PhD at Brown.
19th-century Americana.

Your big words are being wasted here.

You want to jet?

Chayton!

Sorry, boss.

Okay.

Oh, okay.

I admit, that one hurt. That one smart.

Can't take a beating like when I was 27.

Might as well give it up, girlie.

Your partner already spilled.

Partner?

Doc.

What have they done to you?

Turned me into a video game.

When this is over, I promise you

mouth-to-south resuscitation.

Oh, you really don't want this to be over.

What was your angle here? Hmm?

Grease my dealer?

Have moustache boy count cards?

Oh, I'm awfully flattered
to be addressed as boy.

Considering my advanced age.

Get this.

Blue eyes thinks he's Doc Holliday.

Wyatt Earp's buddy?

You know, I don't love your tone.

Oh?

Doc Holliday,

the greatest gunslinger who ever lived?

Top 20 for sure.

I beg your pardon.

I would've gotten away with
robbing you fools blind

if one woman could learn to bluff.

Well at least I brought a weapon.

Sh...

Hey!

Ah-ah-ah!

It was in her Spanx.

Go start digging the hole.

Okay. Don't cheese your beans.

Peacemaker only kills demons.

Lights up when you point it at one.

Well, lights up for me.

-And me.

You cheatin' hussy.

I think I found the boss's tell.

Paco is a demon.

We're never gonna get that chalupa.

Stop by the cafe, Sheriff.

We just put a fresh pot on for you.

W- both of you?

Just when I needed it.
Thank you, Chrissy.

Hi, Natalie. -Hi, Officer Haught.

Go Blue Devils!

Hey, Nicole. Looking good.
-Hey, Kyle. Back at you.

How's your brother?

I got those tulips you ordered, Sheriff.

Oh, Freddy, thank you so much.

I will be by the shop later, okay?

Well, well, well.

Ma'am, you, uh, you can't park here.

I'm waiting for my wife.

She's like a big deal in this town.

You trying to nepo-baby
your way out of a $30 ticket?

I'm also hoping to get frisked.

Oh, really?

Mrs. Waverly Earp.

Mrs. Nicole Haught.

Ahem!

Public dis-gays of affection?

Kind of unprofessional, don't you think?

Hi, Bunny. -Hi, Bunny.

So, girls, uh, Randy Nedley
didn't show up

for samba karate this morning.

Anyhoo. I gotta fly.

I gotta go ice my dojo.

That sensei Rick is very thorough.

Buh-bye.

Wow.

I kinda miss when she was
too homophobic to overshare.

So what are you thinking?

That my mentor, the sheriff
emeritus, Mr. Randy Nedley,

often has one too many Beer Tap Blues

while out on his
highly-illegal fishing hut.

Which I have to pretend I
don't know anything about.

Still.

Do you fancy a drive

to the edge of the Ghost River Triangle?

Hmm. I thought you'd never ask.

Oh, also, I picked up the mail.

Oh, yay!

A new postcard from Wynonna.

Oh my God.

You know, it's so funny to think about

your sister acting all touristy

at the place where your
ancestor made his mark.

It sounds like she's in a good place.

What now, Earp?

Same as always.
Just have fun out there.

That's right, Pork Chop. Wynonna Earp.

Crazy chick with a demon-killing gun.

Doc!

This was our play.

Get caught so you'd bring us
to the one room

we couldn't breach: Your vault.

You Earp slut!

Oh, there's that high tone
'tude they love in Hell.

Which is where I'm about to send you.

Uh, may I?

I'd rather you didn't.

Ah!

-Hi.

Hello.

You like that?

It is always a treat watching
you do what you do best.

There's one more thing
I'm pretty good at.

Need I remind you that
we're here to crack a safe.

You need pants for that?

I do not. -Okay.

# Moving faster, taking over #

# Getting bigger, coming closer #

# It's the sound of a banging drum #

# Taking you by surprise #

# It's gonna be wild #

# It's gonna be big time #

# It's gonna be #

Nedley?

Mercedes?

Sheriff Randy Nedley!

Two whole years running cons

out of the back of a suitcase.

Mm-hmm.

But every dollar we steal- -Borrow.

Brings us one step closer
to getting our own farm.

A place to settle down.

Bring Alice home

from Aunt Gus's place in Montana.

All right. Enough math.

Let's hit the blackjack tables.

That also requires math.

Make this wad into a bigger wad.

The way you play, darlin',

which is good and roostered,

our wads only get smaller.

You love me roostered.

I love you, full stop.

Then why are you being such a wad?

We've spent some of this
on things you wanted.

I don't remember wanting

to lose 10 grand at the tables last month.

I'm sorry. I'm, I'm tired.

And boring.

Oh, come on. Don't.

I didn't, you're not.

I didn't mean...

You're not. You're not.

Obviously.

I believe I

shall take some air.

No, come on... Stay and take
the Earp heir again.

I just need to clear my head.

Will it be hours or days this time?

Don't wait up.

I never do.

-Nedley!

Oh! Oh...

Nedley!

Too slow, Mercedes.

It's okay. Hey, hey, hey.

You're hurt but you're alive, okay?

Wait- -Stay still.

Waited for ya.

I knew you would come.

Okay. Shh.

911. What's your emergency?

I need paramedics on Route 72.

South of town?

That's right. Border of
the Ghost River Triangle.

We're on our way.

Hey, I found Nedley!

He was attacked by a bear.

It wasn't a bear.

Babygirl, did you get my postcard?

I think Mercedes is dead.

What do you mean dead?

It's her. They spelled "Earp."

What do you mean, "Earp"?

Okay.

Okay.

Come on, cowboy. Pick up.

Of course.

Do it the old-fashioned way.

Okay.

Here I come.

# I got a fever running up 100 degrees #

# I am the real thing #

# Gather round and follow my lead #

# I'm like a red storm
going down in history #

# Just wait and see #

# You're not gonna
wanna mess with me #

# You just wait, wait and see #

# You're not gonna
wanna mess with me #

The metal ear muff'd hello?

I, I was just hoping for a hug.

You bring donuts?

I didn't even bring a bra.

-Babygirl.

Babygirl's woman.

We weren't expecting you so soon.

I drove the Pacomobile all night.

Welcome home, Wynonna.

Oh, I still use these ribs on the regular.

My hero. -Oh.

The champion.

"Fucking Wynonna" is fine.

Whoa!

So you moved the kitchen.
-Mm-hmm.

That's smart.

And turned my bedroom
into a craft room, dumb.

But since you're renovating,
I'd also redo the stairs.

Oh, shut your mouth.

When did Karen from
Planet Hobby Lobby move in?

Is that a homophobic typo?

Oh, that's why we got it free.

Reclaimed phrase, reclaimed wood.

Speaking of reclaimed wood.

Where's Doc?

Where's all my stuff?

Do you mean your weed?

No.

We donated it to the orphanage.

Those kids
are gonna get fucked up.

Look at all this stuff.

More BBD gak,

enough googly eyes to choke
an unlicensed daycare,

an honest-to-fucking loom!

Jesus, Haught, you should
be keeping my sister busier.

Oh, we maintain a robust schedule.

Yeah, I see that on your chore wheel.

Hey, it's your turn to
clean the baseboards,

whatever that means in gay.

Uh.

Let me guess. Box of condoms.

Bup-pup-pup-pa pa!

That is the Elchur-Minifical
Box of Containment!

I can barely contain how jazzed I am

that my box has to sleep in the barn.

After Mercedes' wake.

How bad was it?

Uh, let's just say there's
not gonna be an open casket.

So, demons.

We don't know that.

Nicole, what was left of Mercedes' bits

was used to spell out our last name.

So unless some enterprising coyote

has taught themselves how to read,

then we need the Earp heir home.

Even if it's a trap?

Especially if it's a trap.

You both have five minutes
to get funeral fabulous.

Meet you by the demon limo.

The thing that did this is fucked.

What?

I just, I wish you would've talked to me

before you called her.

I don't need my wife's
permission to call my sister.

No, I...

What are you gonna wear?

I brought you two
coffees. With extra coffee.

Truce?

Wynonna, I...

Oh, I will be.

And you mis-spelled "trouble".

Hey, this is mid!

Almost forgot about
the Purgatory side-eye.

And Mercedes Gardiner
was more midriff than mid.

She would want this to
be a real panty-dropper.

Mwah!

Ooh, hi, baby! -Hi!

Let's get a drink.

You mean another drink? -Hey!

We spent hours trying to
figure out what did this.

And what flavour Pop-Tarts
goes best with a gin.

It's Frosted Strawberry.

Ladies? -You know what?

We had a lot of catching-up to do,

so we caught up with the catching.

Ah, yeah. You do you.

Be right back. -Baby!

Is it just me, or did
your wife get more uptight?

The town is finally thriving.

She just doesn't want things
to like.

Oh, because everyone here hates me?

Not the people that matter.

I did a helluva lot for these numpties.

I kept you safe from de- -Deez nuts!

Father Bertucci!

My sweet child.

Wynonna.

You piss in one font.

You did the best you could.

Whatever.

I'm here for her.

She died with her boots on.

Those things are hideous.

Even the bear wouldn't touch them.

Throttle down, Jasmine.

The body's not even cold.

The body's in several pieces.

Yeah, you know what that tells me?

She fought like fuck.

Mercedes went down swinging.

She was a crazy, awesome bitch.

Mercedes thought she was such
hot shit since high school.

Yeah, takes shit to know shit.

Are you saying you're shit?

Don't twist her words!

I wasn't there for much of high school.

I left to major in Jello shots and juvie.

Got exiled to the Hanly
Home for Girls first.

We got up to some wild
there, eh, Wynonna?

I minored in childhood trauma, Sheree.

It's all a bit hazy.

The three of us and Penny Kessley.

We were kinda mean to you.

It was a long time ago.

Where is Penny?

Ah, probably couldn't get a sitter.

Her kid's dad is being such a tool.

Wynonna's got a great system
for dealing with bad dads.

Claim it was demons and
shoot them in the back.

-After you.

Now someone's 'bout to
get punched in the front.

'Sup?

So, Wynonna's home.

Oh, yeah. She always knew
how to make an entrance.

Oh, you sound jealous.

Well, come on, she's wild, I'm mild.

It works.

Yeah. Friendships are like that.

Mercedes could barely
keep up with this rizz.

I- I got your text.

Though I don't really understand what

pineapple-pineapple-robot
emoji means.

Well, it means I got a broken wing,

and I don't text good.

I'm just glad you're okay.

I don't feel okay.

I don't remember much, including
what the perp looked like,

so don't bother asking me.

Are you kidding?

It's a miracle you're even upright.

They gave you enough
drugs to knock out Iowa.

Mm-hmm. Opiates don't
work on me anymore.

I passed 17 kidney stones in four years.

It's chilly out. It's a cold front rolling in.

There's rum punch, and
they got the game on.

Can't quite bring myself to go in there.

Hey, hey.

None of this is your fault.

20 years ago, I would've
gotten to the truck faster,

I would've had that
shotgun in the hut with me!

Younger me might have saved her.

Yeah, well, a younger you
wouldn't have been friends

with the likes of Mercedes.

That counts.

Nicole, Purgatory hasn't lost anyone

in a long time in this way.

I got it covered. Alright?

I've been telling everyone
it was an animal attack.

Ah, careful.

Careful, Sheriff Haught.

I lied to everybody for 30 years

about what goes on around here.

To keep them safe.

I was scared.

Don't be like me.

Don't confuse protecting
people with deciding for 'em.

This is just a, it's a blip.

Whatever happens next, I can handle it.

Go home, you numpty!

You better start with the sinner sisters.

Get her, sis! -Reagan!

Wasn't me!

Keep my sister's name
out of your viper mouth!

She went from Pop-Tarts
to poppin' tarts.

Okay, that is enough!

I can take the littlest lesbian!

She's bisexual, you muppet!

I actually identify as pansexual now.

Aw, babygirl, your journey!

God, you stupid Earps!

You both are going home right now!

I'm calling you a cab!

Shotgun! -Hey, no way!

I get car sick in the back!

Oh, but don't worry,
I'm gonna be up all night

filing a report on why there
was a battle royale at a wake.

Just as Mercedes would have wanted.

Duh! -Wynonna.

Your mum's mad, dude.

No way, she loves paperwork.

And I love her!

-Okay. Get out!

Don't worry, everybody.
It's all uphill from here.

Whoa!

Ahem.

Oh, I'm.

Working after hours,

all by your lonesome.

That's Nedley's lucky bandana.

He certainly was luckier than, uh,

Mercedes.

Hands up! Now!

Or what?

Or I blow them off your wrists.

I'm the Sheriff of Purgatory.

Well, you're a lot more
than that, Nicole Haught.

You're Wynonna Earp's best friend.

What do you want with Wynonna?

Mm, revenge, payback,
the whole Moby Dick.

Well, you certainly seem like

a dick alright. -Okay, okay,

we can trade quips later.

Right now, I need the first

of three precious things from you.

Number one, your wedding ring.

Over my dead body.

Get out of my head.

Aw!

What do you want?

Doesn't anyone listen around here?

Your ring

and revenge.

Revenge is overrated. I should know.

Doc.

And that's my cue.

Next stop, Wynonna's teen trauma.

Hugs and kisses to Dawson's Freak!

And that was confusin'.

And painful.

I saw the light on,

and I knew the best lawman
that Purgatory's ever known

was burning the midnight candle.

Or fighting a particularly comely demon.

Yeah well, it was either her
or the Earp Sisters.

They're also on my shit list.

So, business as usual.

This one feels personal.

I haven't
been that drunk in ages.

It was long overdue.

Like a lot of things.

But these blankets smell like horse.

When's the last time you washed 'em?

I'm pretty sure that's
your old leather jacket.

More whisky?

No, I'm good.

But you're better bad.

Mm, bad influence.

Nicole'll be fine. Oh!

Kinda thought she'd
be more jazzed to see me.

Wynonna Earp, feelin'
guilty and turning down hooch?

Doc's got you tamed.

If anything, Doc thinks I'm a lot.

There's no way.

I don't know.

He keeps disappearing
for hours at a time.

I mean, we're still the best.

We're still the best when
we're fighting or fucking.

Roger that.

But when we have to
stop running and talk,

it's just never been our strong suit.

We're saving up to buy a place.

Alice is five now.

A little kid could use a mum.

But she has one, Aunt Gus.

You deserve to be happy, Wynonna.

I am happy, knowing
my daughter is safe.

Can't even keep my baby sister

from getting jumped by
some group-home skanks.

How would Doc and I protect a kid?

With your whole heart.

You have to tell your
person how you feel.

You first.

What? What is that supposed to mean?

You've been working police dispatch.

Yes.

And Chrissy's coffee bar,

volunteering at the old folks home.

With the occasional shift at the cat cafe.

Though tending pussy's more of a hobby.

Don't change the subject with
a hilarious, off-color joke.

That's my move.

You've also developed a
crippling craft addiction

that has robbed me of a bedroom.

Now who's running in place?

What else am I supposed
to do around here?

Literally anything you want.

Jeremy has been calling.

He wants me to join him overseas,

restructure the Black Badge Division.

That's your future right there, babygirl.

I, I can't leave Nicole.

Leaving doesn't mean forever.

I'm puddin' proof of that, baby.

Nicole's no stranger to
ambition, and she's not selfish.

Gingerdread can take care of herself.

Little help?

She took your ring?

Your wedding ring?

Baby, it's just a broken finger.

She broke your finger? I love that finger!

You're gonna have to get
creative with your sex lives.

Park their melting moments for a spell.

Switch to toes for a few weeks.

It's not the primary digit for that.

Digit get a look at this asshole?

Big blond mane, fit, tentacle powers.

She is hard to miss.

But you did miss?

No, I aimed true. My bullets did nothin'.

So, a demon.

A demon who would've killed me
if Doc hadn't shown up.

It is the ideal finger to
lose, if you had to choose.

I did not get to choose.

Well, it sounds like
Octobussy will be easy to find.

Most people think the
pinkie finger is superfluous,

But you need it, yeah, for balance.

It sounds wrong to say
this exactly right now,

but I've missed this.

The batshittery of our lives.

The batshittery of you girls.

Well, it feels less like a
reunion and more like a reboot.

Well, I'd like to reboot
this demon in her cooch.

She's gathering items.
My ring was just the first.

She said she needs
three precious things.

Wynonna, she called you
Dawson's Freak.

What did you say?

And I did manage to
swipe this off her wrist.

It's a friendship bracelet
with Waverly's name on it.

My name, but not my bracelet.

When I was six years old, I made it.

For me.

Hang on. I got it.

Oh, not you, Henry. We're talkin'.

Aw, Jerusalem's crickets.

It was 20 years ago, the
day I lost this bracelet.

I was 15 years old, living
in a shitty group home,

Hanly's Wayward Girls,

and I was so determined to show them.

Them, who?

The other Dawson's Freaks.

That's what we called ourselves.

Holy shit.

Seriously, Wynonna.

This place is even
creepier than I imagined.

No wonder you're so fucking weird.

Stop pooping in your low-rise jeans.

If you're that scared, we can jet.

I'm bored and I'm cold.

I thought we'd at least do it
inside the murder house.

It's not a murder house.
It's a murder home.

Cute.

Wyatt Earp took this lasso

from the Old West Sheriff
who put a curse on him,

the demon Clootie.

My clootie is itchy.

And ammolite is the Hell mineral.

Bedrock surrounding the
homestead is loaded with it.

This is a load, alright.

Look, Penny, Jasmine, Sheree.

You all wanted me to prove it.

That this land, my family,
the curse, that it's all real.

Alright, keep your tampon in.

It has to be now. Today's
the only day we can do it.

Thursday?

Time of the Hunger Moon.

That's so not a thing.

The Blackfoot call it Ka'toyi.

When the veil between
Earth and the underworld

is at its thinnest.

When all your energy turns to survival.

Sure, Wynonna.

So is this really
where you shot your dad?

I was aiming for the
ghouls who grabbed him!

But yeah.

You actually believe
demons did it, don't you?

They've been coming for
me and my own my whole life!

Revenis ad se ostendendum invocamus.

In nomine Clootie. In nomine Earp!

It's the cops! We gotta bail!

Wait, my bracelet! My
baby sister made me that!

Who cares? We're busted.

Okay, come outta
there with your hands up!

You're all under arrest for trespassing!

And that was it for me from thereon out.

It was all mental institutions
and juvie till I turned 18.

Now it turns out that
wasn't my only fuck-up.

We must have conjured
up a demon after all.

What? Okay, so what's it
doing here 20 years later?

The Hunger Moon is in two days.

We've got everything
this demon wants right here.

On the homestead?
-No. Of course not.

The demons can't get past
the ammolite bedrock.

Yeah, well, guess what?

This bitch doesn't play by the rules.

She wants some second magical item.

Babybrainygirl can figure out what it is.

It's gotta be somewhere in Purgatory.

No, no, no. You're not gonna
use my town as bait.

Or my wife. -Why?

'Cause you're the only one

who gets to keep Waverly on the hook?

What's that supposed to mean?

Despite the circumstances,

I am simply delighted to see you.

And your new hairdo is so fetching.

That is for whoring and gambling

and leaving Wynonna alone at night.

Most evenings I simply
walk. I do some birdwatching.

But you must see the fresh
fire in Wynonna's eyes,

in the face of all this.

Two years ago, she ran away
with me, expecting a circus.

So I must feign to let the
tiger out now and then.

The woman I love's

she's addicted to calamity.

-She does get easily bored.

Yeah, well, the last thing
that I want is Wynonna Earp

to get bored of me.

But you've changed.

Change is natural.

So why should it feel like a betrayal?

Is that Megan Thee Stallion?

Well, she's so good.

You know, the first time I pressed play,

I was expecting something different.

Well, anxiety aside, it must be tiring.

I will never tire

of loving the wildest stallion of them all.

Mustang. Stallions are boys.

Waverly Earp, are you attempting

to school me on the ponies?

I mean,

even though he's been dead
to the world for centuries,

you still have to play Doc Holliday,

instead of just being Henry.

You could try not being a dick.

But I wouldn't bet on it.

You can't protect this place or Waverly

by making them smaller.

Well, and you can't just show up here

and destroy everything we've built

because you seanced a little
too hard when you were 15.

If you really wanted to secure Purgatory,

you'd tell them we're
under demon attack.

I'm not gonna tell a bunch of people

to stop living their lives

just 'cause I can't keep
some fentanyl creeping in.

Am I the fentanyl in this scenario?

At least fentanyl takes away your pain.

Wynonna, I would literally kill for you,

but the chaos that you bring.

Waverly could use a little chaos

if it means a chance
to spread her wings!

She needs more than
hot sex and crochet!

Lately, she can hardly
hold back her more,

especially when she is stressed out!

I mean, and nothing stresses
her out more than her.

Wasted potential? -Big sister!

You should have a little
more faith in me and your wife.

God forbid Wynonna Earp
doesn't get what she wants!

Yeah, like for you to pull
that judgement stick

out of your a.

Ladies. We have company.

Not this guac of shit.

Oh! Did you bring me my points card?

I ate your chalupa.

May I introduce- -Agent Lafferty.

Agent?

I was undercover at the Daisy Casino,

trying to bag the big boss,
when you and Wynonna...

Though I'm not sure how
you got the drop on Paco,

given he was a- -Asshole?

A demon.

I mean, that seems pretty far-fetched.

You know what? You can drop the act.

I'm one of you.

Black Badge.

-It's a cross-border task force

that investigates the paranormal.

Yeah. -Chief Chetri recruited me

after he heard I encountered
your work in Tombstone.

Wants me to keep an eye on you.

Jeremy told you to
follow us to Purgatory?

Oh, I figured out where you
went when I cased your hotel.

Found your little note to Doc.

That was private!

You mis-spelled "trouble".

And that's judgy.

I'd like answers.

Well, I'd like to be back

in the middle of a threesome in Chicago.

I'll repeat to you now
what I said to Doc then.

Sheath your piece!

It's not a shooting contest!

Come on! -We just fixed the beams!

Calm your casino tits.

This is serious! You're
acting like children!

I'm tired of busting cut-rate
mobsters on misdemeanours.

And I'm tired of pretending
I didn't see something

with red eyes and wings
attack my little brother

while we were hiking
up Humphrey's Peak.

I'm hungry. And I wanna be
a part of something bigger.

Regardless...

Three Rs?

Two. -Fuck.

We don't need any outside help.

We need all the help we can get.

This thing is built different.

And so am I.

We need guns.
-We've got Peacemaker.

Wynonna, you didn't see her.

She hasn't seen me!

Okay, enough!

Nicole just lost my third favourite finger.

And with Jerbear gone, Mercedes dead,

Nedley out of commission.

Seems like you're running out of allies.

Fine.

But.

I'm not babysitting Kid Cock-y.

Welcome to the squad, Agent Lafferty.

Happy to be here.

This is just a try-out.

And this is the plan.

I will case the Hanly Home
for Wayward Girls for clues.

Nicole and Waverly will stay
where they're safe: Right here.

Hey!

You need to
research what we conjured up

and what this ring wraith wants,

besides a lesbian's golden hoop.

Meanwhile, the boys will dig up

the totally unnecessary stash
of old Black Badge weapons,

just in case.

I hid the munitions out here

after I liberated them from an old friend.

He too

was from Arizona.

One man's trash is another man's TNT.

The Ballad of Holliday's
Gold. I'd watch that movie.

Alas, this is not a film.

Alright.

M-240 Bravos, scalable
hand grenades.

Ooh! Boy howdy.

Desert Eagle in onyx
with a holographic sight.

Not too shabby.

Aw, better than that.

C'mon, Holliday.

When's the last time you
proved your mettle, huh?

Might be best to test
the floor before the war,

as Wynonna would say.

That girl's always in your head.

And my heart.

Do you need to stretch
first? Maybe a baby aspirin?

Well, you know what they say.

Age before beauty.

As I have both, I went first.

Oh.

Well, I looked her up.

She's got a criminal record
longer than a CVS receipt.

She can hold her liquor,
though not her temper.

You aim to put a spoke in my tyre

so my shootin' ends up in a ditch.

I'm just trying to understand
how that particular ancestor

became the honourable
Wyatt Earp's chosen heir.

Honourable.

When you are the last man standing,

you get to write your own story

in whatever fashion you desire.

Including manifesting self-glory.

And when it comes to true heroes,

Wynonna is the most
genuine I have ever known.

And what does that make you?

A lover. A father.

A man out of time.

And apparently

the loser.

Fuck all the way off, Penny!

Oh, yeah, that's gonna show 'em.

And, uh, you owe me a
quarter for the swear jar.

They never stop!

Look, Wynonna.

You pulled some pretty
stupid stuff out there.

I managed to get Officer Nedley's cruiser

on top of the high school.

That's

fun and gifted.

That's debatable.

It's your behaviour in here that's my job.

That's my responsibility, so here.

"Heel Thyself: Maybe It's You"?

There are worse things than
toning it down to fit in.

They call me "Murderer".

Aren't you?

Look, you, you're picking all these fights

that you can't win,

you're one strike away
from getting sent upstate.

But, I don't know, maybe
that's something that you want?

Maybe you feel like
you don't have a home

that you can go back to?

You don't know me.

I know that you should be
concentrating on one thing:

Getting out of this crab bucket.

"Hanly Group Home,
now with extra STDs."

No, it's an allegory.

When a crab tries to
climb out of the bucket,

the others pull it back down.

A place like this

can feel like nobody
is allowed to succeed,

but, Wynonna, you could.

If you were just a little bit less,

you could get a lot more.

Is that supposed to inspire me?

You're still working at the
same group home you grew up in,

lording your power over a
tiny group of teen girls.

No-one's more stuck here than you!

Okay, well I'm just trying to help you

so that you can stop being
selfish and you can help her!

Leave my sister out of this.

I would if I could.

"You were right. You can't save her."

Doc, get back to the homestead
now! We've been played!

I've got Mexican hot cocoa

with extra marshmallows
and chilli powder.

Shelf it, Haught. I know
when I'm being managed.

Haught? Uh-oh.

I could've helped.

We are helping, Earp.

In the way that you do best.

What if I'm itching to try something

I'm not already the best at?

Something that's new?

Another reno? Running for local office?

Or the... "K" word?

Kite-surfing?

Oh...

Kids.

Look, Nicole

Is that her?

Oh, hey, girl.

Just thought I'd

pop by.

Demons can't cross
the ammolite bedrock.

Mm. I mostly do what I want.

We need to get our guns.

We don't have time.

Time has not been kind to you, sweetie.

You used to be so bright, so full of life.

Shut up.

You know, we met once

when you were just the
kid sister to Wynonna.

Talk about a glow-down.

This is our land!

And you are stuck on it,

day in and day out,
reduced to somebody's wife.

You don't know shit, shit ticket.

She's trying to get in your head.

You've got a lot of darkness inside of you

for a B cup.

You've had power before.
Do you want another taste?

And in return you will help me.

Get the fuck out of here!

Not before I get what I came for!

Hey, Waverly!

I'll trade you for it!

Bring it to me.

You cannot defeat me!

We can't defeat her. We must comply.

Come on, baby. I know you
didn't just fucking say that.

Ow!

We cannot undo
what has been promised.

We must all submit to our destinies.

Woman, you've never
submitted a day in your life!

Well, let's give it a try.

Oh, look at that! It worked!

Whoa, ranger! Okay-
-The bracelet.

The other bracelet.

I shall find what is cherished.

You better be looking for a Xanax!

Bring it to me.

She shall receive my mercy
or we shall feel her wrath.

You need to stop, or I'll stop you!

Baby, if you love me,
you will... stop... me!

Grace shall be delivered
through fire if necessary.

Good girl. I knew you were more.

Fuck!

No mortal can cage me.

We just re-hinged that door!

The affairs of men are
no longer my concern.

I agree with you there.

You dare to defy me?

It's called love, woman!

That which is precious and personal.

You made two of those bracelets.

One for Wynonna and one for you.

The precious second!

I shall give my
mistress what she demands.

Give me the vow.
-The other vow.

Nicole! Do it!

Aw!

Okay. You wanna trade platitudes?

Try this... -No!

Live, laugh, and lie the fuck down!

Oops. -Waverly!

Waves, are you okay?

Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Did I hurt your finger?

No.

I think Mina got what she came for.

Baby, who's Mina?

You!

You haven't aged a day, Mina.

Blood of a thousand virgins?

So sweet of you to remember me.

20 years in Hell,

people don't exactly
send Christmas cards.

You went to Hell? How?

Another innocent victim
of the Earp river of shit.

You stopped being innocent

when you slaughtered my
friend and hobbled my Nedley.

Mm. Well, I didn't have your email.

What do you want?

To make you suffer.

Did you hurt my sister?

Oh, um, not as much as her wife did.

And it is not fire and
brimstone down there, Wynonna.

It is cold and dark and mean!

Mean like the demons
that I cut a deal with

to come and fuck with you!

You weren't even at the seance.

I was only 15!

Oh, then, now, young, old.

This is what happens

to everyone who cares
about you, Wynonna.

You never cared about me.

They get torn to pieces.

And that is what the hounds of Hell

are gonna do to the three people

that you care about the most,

Waverly and Nicole

and, oh!

Your daughter is the heir apparent.

I'm barely her parent.

Keep this between you and me.

Kill me.

No.

I'm gonna torture you,
just like you tortured me

and all the other demons
that you sent to their doom!

Please! -Yes!

Please realise that you are helpless

to save anyone who has
ever believed in you!

When Alice is in the belly of my beasts,

Well, Doc's not even gonna
be able to look at you.

And all you're gonna do

is watch.

See you in Hell, Wynonna.

Mina Starratt ran the
Hanly Group Home for Girls.

She was an orphan.

She was a resident there herself
until she aged out at 18.

Sounds like a real peach.

I thought she was my
friend, my only friend there.

Now I wonder if she was just
trying to keep me small.

Yeah, well, good fucking luck.

But Mina was human.

Now she ain't.

She wasn't at the seance.
She wasn't even the target.

Sometimes the devil claims his own.

Whatever Mina used to be,

she's the thing trying to hurt us now.

She said she was in literal Hell.

And has the power
to summon its hounds?

The Urcon, or bone gnawers.

Yeah, they're more than
just a cute nickname.

How hard is it to murk the Urc?

According to French texts,

they're rabid, unstoppable beasts,

only able to cross the veil
to Earth one day a year.

February's Hunger Moon.

I do hate a dark hawk morning.

If given a piece of their target,

say, a personal artefact,

like a ring or a friendship bracelet, or.

A lock of a child's hair.

The Urcon will front a rabid attack.

An attack that won't stop until,

ils n'arreteront jamais de chasser.

They will never stop hunting.

Ne renonceront jamais
a I'appel des odeurs.

Never give up the scent.

Jusqu'a ce qu'ils se regalent
de la chair de leur proie.

Until they feast on the
flesh of their mark.

But you guys have fought
things like this before.

No, not like this.

Okay, well, this is a chance for our team

to impress the top brass.

I'm starting to wonder

if you got more brass up top than brains.

No, he's part right.

All we've gotta do is hold off
the monster mutts long enough

for the Earp heir to take out their master.

I don't think Peacemaker's gonna work,

for the same reason

that Mina was able to
cross the fenceline.

Why not?

'Cause I made her.

We haven't had the chance to talk,

you know, really talk, since Tombstone.

Alright, well, what'd you got?

Pep talk about your
favourite madam's merkin?

Lesson about the time Wyatt
took on 20 groundhogs at once?

I'll take it.

I cannot remember the last
time I seen you look so scared.

I've grown too straight and
too wise for tall tales.

Mina's had 20 years to
plan the perfect revenge.

I know first-hand

what sitting in the dark
with nothing but thoughts

of retribution can manifest.

What a ghastly fuel vengeance can be.

But it is nothing compared
to what love can do.

She's only five.

She never asked to be born an Earp.

Neither did you, and
you turned out alright.

Took a while to get there.

Whereas if I leave now, I
can be in Montana by noon.

No.

We make our stand here, at
the source, or not at all.

Besides, I've asked
you to run long enough.

Alluring as you are,

I ain't never done a single
thing that I did not wanna do.

I should have done what I wanted.

I wanted to bring Alice home.

Our real home.

Here, with us.

There's a little spot,

up on the ridge, overlooking the barn.

When a Chinook blows
in, so do the clouds,

right at your feet.

We could build a little house.

We could put up a swing set.

Would that be enough for Doc Holliday?

Doc Holliday died a long time ago.

But I think that Alice's father

could not want for a thing more.

A pretty place to lay his head.

Long as his lady was by his side.

I have to make one more goodbye.

And I have to save who I can.

We ride at dawn. -I shall be there.

Well, dawn-ish.

At least you got a backup loom.

Dark possessed me
through the backup loom

through the backup kiln.

Rage goo was squirting
out of your eyeballs.

That's gotta sting.

Every time.

Any chance you can craft
us a way out of this?

Gather up
the Black Badge gak.

Maybe we can use it to battle
Mina and the Hell Hounds.

Great band name, by the way.

The Coober Pedy opal?

I think it's a fake. -Oh.

Oh! Elchur-Minifical
Box of Containment?

Uh, not sure that it can contain

a rabid case of damned Dalmatians,

but I'll throw it on the pile.

Oh, Waves.

Your custom crocheted
cheerleading cosplay!

I'm sorry, baby. I know how
hard you worked on this.

Don't be sorry.

I'd still be stomping
through the Kootenay range,

black-eyed and causing rockslides.

You saved me.

I held you back.

Thank God for that.

No, I,

I've, I've been

holding you back.

Hey.

I love our life.

Yeah, but you're still an Earp.

Earps need adventure.

Jeremy thinks Black
Badge is compromised.

And he needs people he can trust.

He's currently stationed in Egypt.

Hey, we are golden.

We could marriage long
distance for a little while.

Really?

A very little while? -Yeah.

I wish I could be the one
to show you the world.

Tonight,

there's no place I'd rather be

than at home

with my wife.

# Something in our nature is
looking for a way to survive #

# Maybe it's a habit, maybe
it's a good way to hide #

# I listen for a heartbeat #

# I listen for a love line #

# Can you hear my heart speak #

# This is how we bring it back to life #

# I listen for a heartbeat #

# I need to apologise #

# Get so caught up in the concrete #

# I forgot to look you in the eyes #

Thanks again for your help.

That's what we do. We're Black Badge.

I'm more of a black hat.

And well, sometimes I do this.

Is this 'cause I beat you at shooting?

That was just a game, son.

So what, another test?
Hazing the new guy?

Chief Chetri sent me!

But Jeremy has not met
you. Or your ambition.

You know, I've seen what
you crave, Agent Lafferty.

It is glory at any cost,

and that makes you hell-for-leather.

Don't do this, old man.

Goodbye, kid.

You're a hypocrite, Holliday.

Hey, Daddy.

Willa.

I should have been here more.

Here lie two other Earp heirs.

Two people I loved enormously.

I had to kill them myself.

My whole life has been a boatload of,

of mistakes and missteps,

and it sucks,

and I'm tired.

At least they get to rest.

Yeah, well, you've had
more than your share.

Anyone else would have blown
their brains out years ago.

Points for me, I guess.

Well, you've had to do whatever it takes

to live with it.

Except admit the truth.

Which is? -That you like it.

The hunting. The killing.

The choosing.

After a lifetime of being
powerless and on the defensive,

you love being special.

What gives you the right to judge me?

Oh, get real! These two sucked.

Your sister was a
manipulative sociopath,

your father was an abusive drunk.

Jesus, don't sugarcoat it.

Your father, my boss.

Best fisherman I ever met.

I guess that makes it okay.

Here's the thing your asshole father

taught me about winning.

History doesn't
remember who played fair

or who, who cheated.

Or who had the right gear

or whether you sabotaged
your competitors' lines.

History only remembers who won.

You know, I don't, I
don't know if I can win.

She's a monster.

And you're not just an Earp heir.

You're your father's daughter,

and he was one mean son of a bitch.

You know, sometimes,

it's just about going where the fish are.

Hey, what's up? -Haught.

Get off my sister and get on Mapquest.

You're designating the field of play.

We're going to them.

Cutting it awfully close.

He'll be here.

Are we good?

She's my sister and an Earp.

But for Mina to send
the hounds after you.

Is super flattering.

I mean, I knew you were
obsessed with me, but come on!

I don't have a lot of people in my life

willing to tell me when
I'm being a jackass.

Yeah, well, they're
called friends, jackass.

This town's lucky to have you.

And Waverly is lucky to have you, and.

I'm going to get you
your wedding ring back.

Yeah.

Hey, enough Hallmark moments.

You're messin' with my blood lust.

Did I miss the hoedown?

Oh, that ho's going down.

It's not a party till you get here.

Agent Lafferty?

Too personal.

I just felt like we should
keep it all in the family.

You sure you wanna
draw them to us here?

What's our strategic advantage?

Call it, Sheriff.

Isolated locale. No civilians.

We've got multiple vantage
points and the high ground.

Limited coverage for them means
maximum visibility for us.

We'll see the Hell
Hounds coming for miles.

And they will come.

I want you two up top, out of reach.

You're what they're targeting.
-We'll keep it kinetic.

Doc, you and I will work the bottom.

That's my specialty.

Way to keep it perty till the end.

Do you feel that?

The Hell Hounds. -Oh, crap.

I thought you quit? -I'll quit tomorrow.

There's so many.

Oh, God.
These things are ugly!

They won't stay dead.

They will when I get Mina.

Where is Mina?

Well, she's gotta be close by.

Well, let's throw her a bone.

Whew! What a view!

All this space!

Maybe we should blow the craft
room out into a super spa.

Ooh! Hers-and-hers sinks.

Maybe a sauna.

Clawfoot tub.

You know I love a soak.

These dogs need obedience school.

Yeah. Where I should
be the headmaster.

Know why?

I have an inkling.

Doc!

Fuck! -Piece of...

Doc! Doc!

Oh, I thought I'd lost you!

Not today.

I believe we are pooched.

Nedley.

Who takes the dogs
out? Who, who, who, who?

Attaboy, Randy.

Doc. Stay with him.

I'm gonna end this.

Mina!

Where the fuck are you?

She's not coming here.

I need to go where the fish are.

Babe, you think you can
you hold them off long enough

so I can get to Wynonna?

What is she doing?

Something stupid.

It's about time.

You mongrels!

Yee-haw!

Hey, you know, you should know

I just took out Satan's labradoodles

and didn't even flinch.

Just drive, you ol' coot!

You're supposed to stay high.

What you doing, Earp?

The last thing Mina told me

was that she'd see me in Hell, so.

That was the part where
you tell me I'm crazy.

Hey. We're desperate for crazy.

Maybe the craziest.

Fentanyl's most deadly
when it's pure. On its own.

I hate this so bad.

Well, it takes bad to end worse.

I don't want you to end.

We don't want us to lose.

I'm ready, Nicole. One last time.

Don't tell Waverly. She won't understand.

This is usually my favourite part.

The wet entry.

I do reckon I know that gun.

Are you sure you're okay?

Nobody looking for an
Earp will ever find her.

This is your home.

You're all under
arrest for trespassing.

Look, they're claiming that
this is your third strike.

They're taking you upstate

to an adult correctional facility.

I'm sorry, kid. -It's not that.

My bracelet, Waverly's bracelet.

It's the last piece of
my family that I have.

It snapped off in the barn.

Well, you're not allowed

to have personal effects in jail, kid.

Sorry.

It was you!

You called the cops on me!

I had to! I had no choice.

I mean, you were the one that ran off.

You mean I'm the one who escaped!

You don't wish I was less.
You just wish you were more.

Let's go.

Gotcha, Earp.

Ne renonceront jamais
a I'appel des odeurs.

Jusqu'a ce qu'ils se regalent
de la chair de leur proie.

Ils n'arreteront jamais.

Ne renonceront-
-Hey, Studio Bitchywhore.

What the hell are you doing here?

I'm doin' Hell. -Uh-huh.

I was a prisoner down here for 20 years!

And finally privy to the
power you always craved.

Even if it is dark as,

well, Hell.

Fuck you.

That's your tell, Mina. You got out.

You could've gone anywhere,

but you skittered back into
your prison, willingly.

You absolute fucking gash.

You had me at Hell-oh.

You deserve to be
here, not me, you cunt!

Maybe. But no matter
how long I sit here,

I'll never cut a deal with demons.

Peacemaker won't stop me.

It will for a minute.

Lot of minutes in eternity.

You think your dogs won't stop coming?

I'll never stop coming.

This is insane!

You can't win!

No. But I can keep making you lose.

Alright! Enough!

I know curses. And now I'm yours.

You came for my family.

Now you will never make

Your

Peace.

I'm faster. I'm stronger.

I'm meaner.

Is that.

The Elchur-Magnifico
Box of Containment.

You tricked me.

The best man I know taught me,

when you bluff,

you gotta go all in.

I'll trade you.

That jail cell for the thing
that makes you the heir,

the only thing that's
ever made you anything.

That was before.

And then my people showed up

and made me everything.

I'm sorry, girl. But we had a time.

Hey, Mina? Enjoy your crab bucket.

-No...

No!

Wynonna did it. She got the big dog.

I'm gonna go double-check for strays.

Where is Wynonna?

I promised not to tell.

All our souls to Hell!

All the demons
I've ever killed coming for me.

You're back. You will suffer!

Just have
fun out there, Earp.

But Alice, she'll be okay.

They'll be okay.

We know your thoughts.

I'll find you, Wynonna.

Wynonna!

Hey.

Waverly Earp.

And her narc.

What, like you got a
monopoly on breakin' the rules?

Thanks for going in my hole.

Any time.

Uh, not any time, but.

Where's Peacemaker?

Where she can do the most good.

My angel.

"Fucking Waverly" is fine.

Well, it sounds more than fine. It

it sounds delightful.

This wasn't on the chore wheel.

Agent Lafferty?

When'd you get here?

Clearly just in time.

What the fuck, Rookie Blue?

Give me the box.

Do not give it to him.

No shit.

Alright.

- Ah!

Nedley! -Son of a.

Next one's a little higher.

So you're a Black Badge, but
you'd commit treason? Murder?

I'm never getting
promoted at Black Badge.

I failed the psych
evaluation too many times.

I wonder why.

I got a better offer.

There's lots of, uh, organisations

that'll pay top dollar for a genuine demon

and the ultimate demon-killing gun.

Come on.

Lafferty, whatever your real name is,

I'm begging you, please.

Listen to me.

You can't take this box out
of the Ghost River Triangle.

Mina can never be let out of this thing.

My daughter's life depends on this.

Okay.

I've disabled your cars.

You can't follow me. You can't stop me.

But I'm gonna let you live.

I'm hell-for-leather like that.

Somebody will stop this.

No!

Not you.

Thank God. A sorrel.

No fucking way!

I admit, I forgot about you.

You're a terrible liar.

Had you fooled.

Not for a minute.

Go home, Holliday. To your woman.

I cannot and I will not
let you leave with that box.

You're too old to stop me.

I'm too old not to.

Once upon a time

you may have been the fastest
gunslinger in the West.

But that was long ago,
with ancient pistols.

Okay.

You can't take us all out.

I know who I'm taking out first.

Remember.

You wanted this.

Nobody wants this.

I should know.

I fought it for 172 years.

Come on.

Where's Doc?

Go! -Come on.

Help him!

Doc! Doc!

Did you get 'em all?

Please...

Do you know who I am?

You're my person.

Keep it.

There's no-one on Earth who
will do more to keep it safe.

And our Alice.

You tell her

all the good stuff.

Doc.

You're gonna be okay.

I have been. Many times.

More than my share.

Doc, we can fix this.

You know, you really
are awful at bluffing.

But you're pretty good at the rest of it.

All of it, really.

Please let me save you, Doc.

Oh, my darlin'.

You did.

Doc.

Wynonna Earp.

The box.

Mina.

And Peacemaker.

It's down there too.

I meant it when I said
he'd protect it forever.

And I'm gonna stay and protect him.

Thanks again for flying in, Jeremy.

Are you kidding?

I would have come by canoe.

It was a damn good funeral,
for his, uh, second funeral.

You're welcome to stay in Purgatory,

at the homestead, as long as you like.

Thank you, but, uh, I don't think my back

can take another night in the craft room.

And my liver definitely
can't take more Earpin'.

I get it.

You've got some work to do.

Like finding a way to fix this.

Yeah. Yeah, Black Badge has a lot

of unconventional
resources at our disposal.

I'll try, Wynonna.

You'll do better than that.

I promise.

It'll help that I hired the most ingenious

researcher I've ever met.

Do send photos of Abu Simbel.

Don't open any cursed tombs.

I'm not allowed to enjoy my weekends?

Oh! Try the fatta, but
maybe not the street meat.

I'm still gonna be vegan in Egypt.

No pyramid schemes.

Very funny.

And so lovely.

I'm proud of you.

Ooh.

Jeremy says the agency
is rife with corruption.

We need to find out who
Lafferty was working for.

You will.

Because

you are Waverly,

Goddamn Head Cheerleader,

Tentacle-Resistant Earp.

Don't forget Nicole Haught's wife.

Okay. My turn.

Don't be too hard on her.
But don't be too soft.

I'm gonna whip her into shape.

I'll be home for Easter.

I know.

# Stand my ground #

# There's a fighter coming out #

# And I won't back down #

Hey, let me help you.

Whoa, geez, Waves, how
many bras did you pack?

Hey, that's sexist.

Over 20.

Finally learning from my mistakes.

Bye, you.

Actually feels like I'm finally
embracing my inner Wynonna.

Here's to the adventure. You've earned it.

As long as you've got
your passport, Agent Earp.

I have a passport!

Amazing.

Thanks for staying.

Yeah, I want to.

# I'm ready now #

# To stand my ground #

# No more hiding who I am #

# I'm not running again #

# I won't back down #

# I won't back down #

# Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh #

# Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh #

# Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh #

Does anybody have
a rake or something?

I got one hell of an itch.

Boo-hoo. We get it.

You love casts.

You gonna let her talk like that?

Hey, we're gonna get her
trained in citizen relations.

Good luck. -After we deputise her.

I can't believe I'm a cop.

Are we sure I left Hell?

It gets worse. I hear
your boss is a real hardass.

Hey! Don't make me tear
down that fishing hut.

Fishing's over for the year.

But hunting season's about to begin.

You guys still haven't
found that sexy werewolf, huh?

Well, we don't know how sexy it is.

Nicole, come on.

And it's Sheriff Haught.

I'm Deputy Earp,

reporting for duty.

You said "duty".

Keep it professional, Sheriff.
We're on the clock.

Is this war on top buttons?

Let's get to work.