Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:08,590
Helen, you're not
going to believe
2
00:00:08,590 --> 00:00:10,090
what I witnessed last night.
3
00:00:10,590 --> 00:00:12,100
What?
Well, uh,
4
00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:13,600
I was over at
the town pharmacy
5
00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:15,600
standing at the
cosmetics counter,
6
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,100
you know, checking out
the new tweezers.
7
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:18,600
Tweezers?
8
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:19,600
You tweeze?
9
00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:21,610
What do you tweeze?
10
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:25,110
What don't I tweeze?
11
00:00:25,110 --> 00:00:27,110
Well, I never tweeze.
12
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:29,610
Yeah, I know. Anyway...
13
00:00:31,110 --> 00:00:32,120
I'm at the counter,
14
00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:34,620
and I see Fay standing
at the other end,
15
00:00:34,620 --> 00:00:36,120
but she doesn't see me.
16
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,620
So then all of a sudden,
17
00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:41,120
I spot her take a
lipstick off the counter
18
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:43,130
and place it in her purse.
19
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:44,630
What?
20
00:00:44,630 --> 00:00:45,630
What are you saying?
21
00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:47,130
Fay stole a lipstick?
22
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:49,130
I haven't seen hands
work that fast
23
00:00:49,130 --> 00:00:51,640
since I got rolled
at my cousin's wedding.
24
00:00:51,630 --> 00:00:53,140
Oh, Antonio,
don't be ridiculous.
25
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:54,640
We're talking about Fay here.
26
00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:56,140
I'm sure there's
a reasonable explanation
27
00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:57,140
for what happened.
28
00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:58,640
Hi, Fay.
29
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:00,140
Hi.
Is that a new shade
of lipstick?
30
00:01:00,140 --> 00:01:01,140
Yes, it is.
31
00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:03,150
I was in the store
32
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:05,650
and it just called out to me.
33
00:01:05,650 --> 00:01:07,150
Yeah. It said,
"Make your move.
34
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:10,650
The security guy's
in the can."
35
00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:18,660
Look at her over there.
36
00:01:18,660 --> 00:01:20,160
Sweet, lovable,
37
00:01:20,660 --> 00:01:22,670
innocent Fay.
38
00:01:22,670 --> 00:01:24,670
What a front.
39
00:01:24,670 --> 00:01:26,170
Antonio, stop it.
40
00:01:26,170 --> 00:01:28,170
You and I both know
Fay is not a thief.
41
00:01:28,170 --> 00:01:29,170
Is she?
42
00:01:29,170 --> 00:01:30,670
No. No.
43
00:01:30,670 --> 00:01:31,670
Of course not.
44
00:01:31,670 --> 00:01:33,180
Where you going?
45
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:35,180
I saw her casing my locker.
46
00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:37,180
One turn of a bobby pin,
47
00:01:37,180 --> 00:01:41,690
and I'm out a clean undershirt
and a Baywatch Thermos.
48
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:43,190
Hey, Helen, you forgot
to give me your
wedding ring.
49
00:01:43,690 --> 00:01:45,690
If I'm going to get
your jewelry appraised
50
00:01:45,690 --> 00:01:47,190
I'm going to need
all of it.
Oh, right.
51
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:49,190
Hi, Fay.
52
00:01:49,190 --> 00:01:50,190
New lipstick?
53
00:01:50,190 --> 00:01:51,700
Yeah, it was a steal.
54
00:01:51,690 --> 00:01:53,200
What do you got there?
55
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,700
Uh, nothing.
56
00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:56,200
Oh, no. It's
Helen's jewelry.
57
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,700
I'm taking it
to be appraised.
58
00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:58,700
Oh, can I see?
59
00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:00,200
Sure.
60
00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:02,710
Take a gander at them poils.
61
00:02:03,210 --> 00:02:05,210
How do you think
they'd look on me...?
62
00:02:05,210 --> 00:02:06,710
Oh, just sensational.
63
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,710
Yeah. Boy, you can
wear anything, Fay.
64
00:02:09,210 --> 00:02:11,210
Oh, and how
about these
matching earrings?
65
00:02:11,710 --> 00:02:12,720
Oh, let me see.
66
00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:14,720
Oh, they just look
adorable on you.
67
00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:17,720
Hey, Helen, what's
wrong with you?
68
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:18,720
You seem jumpy.
69
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:19,720
Oh, no, I'm not jumpy
at all.
70
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,220
Don't be ridiculous--
get these out of here.
71
00:02:21,220 --> 00:02:23,730
If she follows you,
swallow them.
72
00:02:23,730 --> 00:02:26,730
We can always go
to the appraiser next week.
73
00:02:28,230 --> 00:02:29,230
Hey.
74
00:02:29,730 --> 00:02:30,730
Look at me, Joe.
75
00:02:30,730 --> 00:02:31,730
Look at me.
76
00:02:31,730 --> 00:02:33,240
Look at me.
Look at me.
77
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,240
I'm a dinosaur.
78
00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,240
I'm extinct. Yeah.
79
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,240
First, there was
Neanderthal Man
80
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,750
then there was
Cro-Magnon Man
81
00:02:42,750 --> 00:02:45,750
and one day, when they excavate
a T.G.I. Fridays,
82
00:02:45,750 --> 00:02:48,750
they'll find me--
Single Man.
83
00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:50,750
Is this gonna be a long rant?
84
00:02:50,750 --> 00:02:53,260
I just need to know
so I can plan my day.
85
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:55,260
This is an invitation
86
00:02:55,260 --> 00:02:58,760
to my last
single friend's wedding.
87
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:02,270
I mean, who'd have thought
that Dave McCall
88
00:03:02,270 --> 00:03:04,770
would get married
before me, huh?
89
00:03:04,770 --> 00:03:06,770
D-Dave McCall
is getting married?
90
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,270
That's weird.
91
00:03:08,270 --> 00:03:09,770
I didn't get
an invitation
92
00:03:09,770 --> 00:03:11,270
and you met Dave
through me.
93
00:03:11,270 --> 00:03:14,280
Makes me think that life's
passing me by, you know?
94
00:03:14,280 --> 00:03:15,780
Ah, well, I'm sure my
invitation's in the mail.
95
00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:16,780
I'll probably get
it tomorrow.
96
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:18,780
Actually, mine came a week ago.
97
00:03:18,780 --> 00:03:20,780
I just opened this today.
98
00:03:20,780 --> 00:03:21,780
A week ago?
99
00:03:21,780 --> 00:03:23,290
How come a guy
100
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:26,290
like Dave McCall can settle down
and I can't?
101
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:29,790
Remember his nickname--
Dave "Had 'Em All" McCall?
102
00:03:31,290 --> 00:03:34,300
I gave him that nickname.
103
00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:37,800
The invitation said
"Brian Hackett and guest."
104
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,800
Uh... there ain't
no "and guest"
105
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,300
in my life, you know?
106
00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:43,310
And you know
what this means.
107
00:03:43,810 --> 00:03:46,810
I'm going to be seated
at the sad singles table.
108
00:03:46,810 --> 00:03:48,810
It'll be me,
a couple of portly cousins
109
00:03:48,810 --> 00:03:53,320
and his Uncle Bobby,
the "confirmed" bachelor, huh?
110
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,820
I don't get this.
111
00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:57,320
Dave and I are
good friends.
112
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,820
After college, we drove
cross country together.
113
00:03:59,820 --> 00:04:01,320
We ate beans out of a can.
114
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:02,830
We slept in a
Vega hatchback.
115
00:04:02,830 --> 00:04:04,830
You don't get
closer than that.
116
00:04:04,830 --> 00:04:08,830
Hey, is anybody else going
to go to this McCall thing?
117
00:04:10,830 --> 00:04:12,340
Roy... you're invited, too?
118
00:04:12,340 --> 00:04:14,840
I didn't even know
you knew Dave.
119
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:17,840
Yeah. I met him at your wedding.
120
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,340
At the Hoover Dam,
121
00:04:19,340 --> 00:04:22,350
we smoked a doobie
and couldn't feel our legs.
122
00:04:28,350 --> 00:04:29,350
You know what?
123
00:04:29,350 --> 00:04:31,350
This invitation
is a wake-up call.
124
00:04:31,850 --> 00:04:33,360
If Dave can do it, so can I.
125
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,860
From this moment on,
126
00:04:34,860 --> 00:04:38,360
no more one night stands,
no more frivolous relationships.
127
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:39,860
I want to find someone who...
128
00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:41,860
Finishes your sentences.
129
00:04:41,860 --> 00:04:43,370
Right. Right.
130
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:45,870
Someone who
on a Sunday morning you could...
131
00:04:45,870 --> 00:04:48,370
Cuddle with
and read the newspaper.
132
00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:50,370
Right. Someone...
133
00:04:50,370 --> 00:04:53,880
You can share your future with
and build your hopes and dreams.
134
00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:55,380
Exactly.
135
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:02,890
I-I-I-I-I better go look
for that gift.
136
00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:07,890
What do you think, Joe?
137
00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:09,890
Is there somebody
out there for me
138
00:05:09,890 --> 00:05:10,890
or am I too late?
139
00:05:10,890 --> 00:05:13,400
I sucked rattlesnake
venom out of his leg
140
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:14,900
in Death Valley.
141
00:05:14,900 --> 00:05:16,900
Come on, I'm hurting, man.
142
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,400
You? You know what
venom tastes like?
143
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:21,910
I'll tell you right
now-- not chicken.
144
00:05:22,410 --> 00:05:23,410
Joe, I'm serious.
145
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:25,910
I want to get married,
you know, have children.
146
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:27,910
I'm not getting any younger.
147
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:30,410
I don't want to go
to a little league game
148
00:05:30,410 --> 00:05:32,920
and have to tell my son
that I missed his home run
149
00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:34,920
because Nurse Nancy
was changing me
150
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,420
in the back of the minivan.
151
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,920
Well, then, Brian,
I hope you get what you want
152
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,930
'cause there's nothing
as rewarding as a relationship
153
00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:46,930
where the bond is so strong
words don't need to be spoken.
154
00:05:48,430 --> 00:05:50,930
I thought I had that with Dave.
155
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,940
Hey, baby.
156
00:05:58,940 --> 00:06:00,440
Hi.
157
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:02,450
Any luck with that invitation?
158
00:06:02,450 --> 00:06:05,950
No. I went down to the post
office and made them look again
159
00:06:05,950 --> 00:06:09,950
and, uh, when they
couldn't find it
160
00:06:09,950 --> 00:06:11,950
I asked them very nicely
161
00:06:11,950 --> 00:06:14,460
if I might sift through
a few bins.
162
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:17,460
And when they said "no,"
163
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:21,970
I became what Sergeant Robbins
described as "belligerent."
164
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,470
She thought she was so tough.
165
00:06:24,470 --> 00:06:26,970
You have got
to calm down.
166
00:06:26,970 --> 00:06:29,470
You are completely
overreacting.
167
00:06:29,470 --> 00:06:30,970
All right, okay.
168
00:06:30,970 --> 00:06:32,480
What are you doing?
169
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:34,480
Fay's about to take her break.
170
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:37,480
I've got way too much cash
lying around.
171
00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:40,980
Joey. Joey.
172
00:06:41,480 --> 00:06:42,990
You're not
going to believe
173
00:06:42,990 --> 00:06:43,990
what just happened.
174
00:06:43,990 --> 00:06:45,990
My invitation came.
175
00:06:45,990 --> 00:06:47,490
Well, not yet.
176
00:06:48,990 --> 00:06:50,490
Anyway, remember how I said
177
00:06:50,990 --> 00:06:53,000
that I wanted
to look for a woman
178
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,500
with my heart, you know?
179
00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:57,500
Well, I found her, I found her,
and you'll never guess where.
180
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,000
On our plane, man.
181
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,500
On the Boston run.
182
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:02,010
We-We made a connection.
183
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,510
She's special, Joey.
184
00:07:03,510 --> 00:07:05,510
Really? What's
she look like?
185
00:07:05,510 --> 00:07:06,510
(laughing)
186
00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:08,510
See? Now you sound like
187
00:07:08,510 --> 00:07:09,510
the old me.
188
00:07:09,510 --> 00:07:12,020
I mean, what's the difference
what she looks like?
189
00:07:12,010 --> 00:07:14,520
I mean, looks are
so overrated anyway.
190
00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:16,520
That's always
been my problem.
191
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,520
It's what's in here
that counts.
192
00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:21,520
Hey, Brian,
it was nice to meet you.
193
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:22,530
Nice meeting you, too.
194
00:07:22,530 --> 00:07:23,530
So, um, see you tonight?
195
00:07:23,530 --> 00:07:24,530
Yeah, I'm looking
forward to it.
196
00:07:24,530 --> 00:07:26,530
All right, me too.
197
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:35,540
That's her?
198
00:07:35,540 --> 00:07:40,540
That's the woman you found
by looking with your heart?
199
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:44,550
Uh-huh. So?
200
00:07:44,550 --> 00:07:46,550
(chortling)
201
00:07:49,050 --> 00:07:50,050
I love you, Brian.
202
00:07:50,050 --> 00:07:51,050
Don't ever change.
203
00:07:51,050 --> 00:07:52,560
What are you
doing that for?
204
00:07:53,060 --> 00:07:55,060
Come on, I can't believe
I almost fell for it.
205
00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:57,060
"I want a
deeper relationship.
206
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:58,560
"I want to get married.
207
00:07:58,560 --> 00:07:59,560
I've changed."
208
00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:01,560
Well, I have.
Oh, come on, Brian.
209
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,070
Face it-- you
don't date women.
210
00:08:03,070 --> 00:08:04,570
You date bodies.
211
00:08:04,570 --> 00:08:06,070
You see a pretty face,
you move right in.
212
00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:08,570
Admit it-- you're
going to sleep with her
213
00:08:08,570 --> 00:08:09,570
and move on.
214
00:08:09,570 --> 00:08:11,070
And that's okay.
That's Brian.
215
00:08:11,070 --> 00:08:12,580
Just don't tell me
that you've changed.
216
00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:16,580
I'm an usher at Dave's wedding.
217
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:20,580
What?
218
00:08:20,580 --> 00:08:22,590
Hurts, doesn't it?
219
00:08:30,590 --> 00:08:32,100
(piano playing softly)
220
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:33,600
Thank you.
221
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:34,600
Thanks.
222
00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,600
I can't believe
you picked this place.
223
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,100
Is it all right?
224
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,600
Are you kidding?
225
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:42,100
I've been wanting
to come here forever.
226
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:44,610
It's like you read my mind.
227
00:08:44,610 --> 00:08:47,110
Go on. Read it again.
228
00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,110
Well, okay.
229
00:08:49,110 --> 00:08:50,610
Uh, let's see...
230
00:08:50,610 --> 00:08:52,620
"He's cute, he's funny.
231
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,620
And if that's not a hair weave,
I'll marry him."
232
00:08:55,620 --> 00:08:58,120
So, Brian, tell me everything
about yourself.
233
00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:59,120
Well...
234
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,620
Oh, my God. I cannot believe
I just said that.
235
00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:02,630
It sounds like such
a first date cliché.
236
00:09:02,630 --> 00:09:04,130
Hey, hey, hey,
237
00:09:04,130 --> 00:09:08,630
clichés are clichés
because they're true.
238
00:09:08,630 --> 00:09:12,140
Okay, now, uh...
all about myself.
239
00:09:12,130 --> 00:09:13,640
All right,
well, let's see...
240
00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,640
I was born
and raised here...
241
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:16,640
Oh, my God!
242
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:17,640
What?
243
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,140
Breadsticks!
244
00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:21,640
I love breadsticks!
245
00:09:22,650 --> 00:09:24,650
Go on.
246
00:09:24,650 --> 00:09:26,650
Okay, uh...
247
00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:28,650
where was I?
248
00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:29,650
Oh, okay.
249
00:09:30,150 --> 00:09:31,150
Well, I'm a pilot,
250
00:09:31,650 --> 00:09:34,660
and I'm
obviously single.
251
00:09:34,660 --> 00:09:36,160
But, uh, more importantly
252
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:38,660
I've been doing a lot
of soul-searching lately,
253
00:09:38,660 --> 00:09:42,670
and I've come to the realization
that I want to settle down
254
00:09:42,670 --> 00:09:44,670
with someone, and I want
255
00:09:44,670 --> 00:09:47,170
some permanence in my life.
256
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:49,170
So, what about you?
257
00:09:49,170 --> 00:09:51,170
I'm a temp.
258
00:09:51,170 --> 00:09:54,180
I float from job to job,
and I love it.
259
00:09:54,180 --> 00:09:55,680
Uh-huh, okay.
260
00:09:55,680 --> 00:10:01,180
Okay, well, that's like
a cousin of permanence...
261
00:10:01,180 --> 00:10:03,190
impermanence.
262
00:10:03,190 --> 00:10:06,690
You are so funny, Bri-Bri.
263
00:10:09,190 --> 00:10:12,190
Wha-What did you
just call me?
264
00:10:12,190 --> 00:10:13,700
Bri-Bri.
265
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,200
Is it okay
if I call you Bri-Bri?
266
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,700
Why-Why?
267
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,200
It's just a thing I do.
268
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:24,710
I like to give nicknames
to people that I care about.
269
00:10:24,710 --> 00:10:27,710
It kind of makes me feel
closer to them.
270
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:32,220
Well, then, um, Bri-Bri
would be honored
271
00:10:32,210 --> 00:10:34,220
if you called him...
272
00:10:34,220 --> 00:10:36,720
Bri-Bri.
273
00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,220
Anyway, Bri-Bri,
274
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:39,720
there's something
I really need to ask you.
275
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:42,230
Dani, I want us both
to be completely open
276
00:10:42,220 --> 00:10:44,230
and honest
with each other, okay?
277
00:10:44,230 --> 00:10:45,730
So you just,
you ask me anything.
278
00:10:45,730 --> 00:10:47,230
Okay.
279
00:10:47,230 --> 00:10:49,730
Can I have your breadsticks?
280
00:10:49,730 --> 00:10:52,740
(laughing):
Oh, that's good.
281
00:10:52,740 --> 00:10:55,240
No, really, ask me.
282
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:56,240
Again?
283
00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,240
All right.
284
00:10:59,740 --> 00:11:02,250
Can I have your breadsticks?
285
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:04,250
Oh, you're serious, huh?
286
00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:06,750
You really like
them sticks, huh?
287
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:09,750
I love them!
288
00:11:09,750 --> 00:11:12,260
(Piano playing
"Up Where We Belong")
289
00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:15,260
Oh, my God!
290
00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:16,760
It's all right.
Don't panic.
291
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,260
Here you go.
292
00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:19,760
No, it's that song.
293
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:21,260
It's so moving.
294
00:11:21,260 --> 00:11:22,260
I just love it.
295
00:11:22,260 --> 00:11:23,770
Yeah, it's a great song.
296
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:25,770
(humming loudly)
297
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:32,280
Love lift us up
where we were wrong
298
00:11:32,270 --> 00:11:33,780
That's very nice.
299
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:36,280
Where the eagles die
300
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:39,280
And the mountains fly...
301
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:41,280
Breadstick?
302
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,290
Thanks.
303
00:11:43,290 --> 00:11:45,790
I'm really glad
you asked me out.
304
00:11:45,790 --> 00:11:47,290
You are?
305
00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:49,790
Yeah, I mean,
it's really hard
306
00:11:49,790 --> 00:11:51,290
to find a nice guy.
307
00:11:51,290 --> 00:11:52,800
And even though
we just met
308
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:55,800
I feel like you and I
have a lot in common.
309
00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:57,300
Yeah?
310
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,300
Well, maybe we do.
311
00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:02,300
For instance, tomorrow
is Sunday, you know,
312
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:05,810
and you know what's great
to do on a Sunday morning.
313
00:12:05,810 --> 00:12:07,310
No. What?
314
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:10,310
Well, what's great to do
on a Sunday morning
315
00:12:10,310 --> 00:12:12,820
is to cuddle
with someone and, uh...
316
00:12:12,820 --> 00:12:14,820
And... and what?
317
00:12:14,820 --> 00:12:15,820
And...
318
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:18,820
read the Sunday new...
319
00:12:18,820 --> 00:12:21,320
Sunday new...?
320
00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,330
New... new...
321
00:12:24,330 --> 00:12:26,830
new... new...
New... new...
322
00:12:26,830 --> 00:12:28,830
Oh, I get it, Bri-Bri.
323
00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:30,830
It's baby talk!
324
00:12:30,830 --> 00:12:32,340
New-new-new-new-new!
325
00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:33,840
No, no, no.
326
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,340
No-no-no-no-no-no-no!
327
00:12:35,340 --> 00:12:36,840
I love this!
328
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:38,340
New-new-new-new-new!
329
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,840
No, I... I... I...
330
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:40,840
I-I-I-I-I-I-I!
331
00:12:41,340 --> 00:12:42,340
No, no...
332
00:12:42,340 --> 00:12:44,350
No-no-no-no-no-no!
333
00:12:44,350 --> 00:12:46,350
No, please stop.
334
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:51,850
Uh... Dani, I'm sorry.
335
00:12:51,850 --> 00:12:53,360
I just...
336
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:54,860
I have to tell
you something.
337
00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:55,860
Before this goes
any further
338
00:12:55,860 --> 00:12:56,860
I got to be real
honest with you.
339
00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,360
Well, what is it?
340
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:03,370
Well, I... I...
341
00:13:03,370 --> 00:13:05,370
(piano continues)
342
00:13:05,370 --> 00:13:07,370
I, uh...
343
00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:09,870
I love this tune.
344
00:13:10,370 --> 00:13:13,880
Love lift us up
where we were wrong
345
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,880
BOTH:
Where the eagles die
346
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,380
And the mountains...
347
00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:24,390
Oh, look.
348
00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:27,890
A Monet was stolen last night
349
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:31,390
from the Boston Museum
of Fine Art.
350
00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:34,900
Anybody know what Fay was up to?
351
00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:36,400
HELEN:
Why don't you just
352
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:37,900
go over there and ask her
353
00:13:37,900 --> 00:13:39,400
exactly what happened
in that drugstore?
354
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,400
You're right. You're right.
355
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:42,400
What am I going to say?
356
00:13:42,910 --> 00:13:43,910
Well, you're her friend.
357
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:45,910
You'll find
the right words.
358
00:13:52,410 --> 00:13:54,920
That's lovely lipstick, Fay.
359
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:55,920
Thank you...
360
00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:57,420
Why did you steal it?
361
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:58,920
What?
362
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:00,420
Are you accusing me
363
00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:03,430
of stealing
a two-dollar lipstick?
364
00:14:03,430 --> 00:14:05,930
Now that I say it out loud,
it does seem ridiculous.
365
00:14:05,930 --> 00:14:06,930
I mean...
366
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:08,430
Well, you're right.
367
00:14:08,430 --> 00:14:09,930
I did steal it.
368
00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:11,430
You did?
369
00:14:11,430 --> 00:14:12,430
Why, Fay?
370
00:14:12,430 --> 00:14:15,940
It was the rush,
baby, the rush.
371
00:14:15,940 --> 00:14:18,440
I was standing in that store
with the lipstick in my hand
372
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:19,940
and suddenly I thought
373
00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:21,940
"What if I don't pay for it
and just stick it in my bag?"
374
00:14:21,940 --> 00:14:23,450
And the more
I thought about it,
375
00:14:23,450 --> 00:14:25,450
the more my heart
started beating,
376
00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:26,950
my palms were sweating.
377
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,950
I never felt so alive!
378
00:14:28,950 --> 00:14:30,950
So I lifted it.
379
00:14:30,950 --> 00:14:34,460
I walked out into the sunshine,
put on my crimson crush
380
00:14:34,460 --> 00:14:35,960
and never looked back.
381
00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,460
Well, the important
thing is
382
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,460
you feel all that remorse.
383
00:14:43,470 --> 00:14:44,970
Yeah.
384
00:14:45,470 --> 00:14:46,970
Yeah, remorse.
385
00:14:51,470 --> 00:14:53,980
Hey, Roy, what you got there?
386
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:56,480
It's a wedding gift
for that friend of yours--
387
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:58,480
what's his name?
388
00:14:58,980 --> 00:15:02,490
David Thornton Patrick McCall.
389
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:03,490
Yeah, whatever.
390
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:06,490
Anyway, I went down to
where they were registered.
391
00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:07,990
200 Items on the list.
392
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:09,990
The only gift left
was this bread maker.
393
00:15:09,990 --> 00:15:13,000
Man, who isn't going
to that wedding?
394
00:15:23,510 --> 00:15:26,010
What's with your leg?
395
00:15:26,010 --> 00:15:27,510
Well, last night
396
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:28,510
Dani and I went
country western dancing
397
00:15:29,010 --> 00:15:32,010
and some C.P.A. in lizard boots
kicked me
398
00:15:32,010 --> 00:15:34,020
during the cowboy cha-cha.
399
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:36,020
Country and western dancing?
400
00:15:36,020 --> 00:15:37,020
You?
401
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:39,520
Wow. The sex
must really be worth it.
402
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:43,530
When did life
turn you so cynical?
403
00:15:43,530 --> 00:15:46,030
The day I sat on my front porch
404
00:15:46,030 --> 00:15:48,530
waiting for an envelope
that never came.
405
00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:53,040
Well, first of all,
that's just very sad.
406
00:15:53,040 --> 00:15:55,540
And second... Dani and I
407
00:15:55,540 --> 00:15:57,540
haven't even slept together yet.
408
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,040
Oh, come on, Brian.
409
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:00,040
It's true.
I'm just taking it slow.
410
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:01,540
I want to get
to know her first.
411
00:16:03,050 --> 00:16:04,050
You're serious,
aren't you?
412
00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:05,550
Yeah, I am.
413
00:16:05,550 --> 00:16:07,550
I mean, I never took the time
to get to know a woman,
414
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:09,550
and now that I have,
I tell you
415
00:16:09,550 --> 00:16:11,050
it makes all the difference
in the world.
416
00:16:11,050 --> 00:16:12,560
Wow.
417
00:16:12,550 --> 00:16:14,560
I guess I owe
you an apology.
418
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:16,060
What can I say, man?
419
00:16:16,060 --> 00:16:17,560
I hope she's the one.
420
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:20,060
I hate her!
421
00:16:20,060 --> 00:16:21,560
What?
422
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:22,560
Hatred!
423
00:16:23,070 --> 00:16:24,070
Hate! Hate!
424
00:16:24,570 --> 00:16:28,070
She is the most annoying
human being on earth.
425
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:30,070
I hate the way
she calls me Bri-Bri.
426
00:16:30,070 --> 00:16:33,080
I hate the way she sings
the wrong lyrics.
427
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:35,080
"Love lift us up
where we were wrong!"
428
00:16:36,580 --> 00:16:37,580
Oh, I hate with the baby talk.
429
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,080
No-no-no-no,
new-new-new-new.
430
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,080
I-I-I-I don't
care how sexy she is.
431
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,090
She's never going
to finish my sentences.
432
00:16:44,590 --> 00:16:45,590
That's it.
433
00:16:45,590 --> 00:16:49,090
I need to not be
with her anymore.
434
00:16:49,090 --> 00:16:50,090
Look, Brian...
Please, spare me.
435
00:16:50,090 --> 00:16:52,090
I know what you're
going to say.
436
00:16:52,090 --> 00:16:53,100
"Brian, you haven't
changed a bit."
437
00:16:53,100 --> 00:16:54,600
Well, I don't care.
No, I was gonna say
438
00:16:54,600 --> 00:16:56,100
that you have changed.
439
00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:58,600
The old Brian wouldn't have
cared how annoying she was.
440
00:16:59,100 --> 00:17:00,100
He would have tuned it out
and slept with her anyway.
441
00:17:00,600 --> 00:17:04,110
Oh, I know.
It was a gift.
442
00:17:06,110 --> 00:17:10,110
So, uh, what are
you going to do?
443
00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:12,110
Well, I'm supposed
to see her tonight.
444
00:17:12,110 --> 00:17:13,120
But what do you think?
445
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:14,120
I'm going to go
over there and end it.
446
00:17:14,120 --> 00:17:15,620
Good for you.
447
00:17:15,620 --> 00:17:17,620
Oh, listen,
since you and Dani
448
00:17:17,620 --> 00:17:19,620
aren't seeing
each other anymore...
449
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:24,130
Forget it. I'm not taking
you to the wedding with me.
450
00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:32,130
Helen?
451
00:17:32,130 --> 00:17:33,140
Dave!
452
00:17:33,140 --> 00:17:34,640
Hi. How are you?
453
00:17:35,140 --> 00:17:35,640
Well, pretty upset.
454
00:17:36,140 --> 00:17:37,640
I just found this
in my car.
455
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:39,140
It must have slipped
under the seat
456
00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,140
when I went to mail all
my wedding invitations.
457
00:17:41,140 --> 00:17:43,150
Oh, so that's what
happened to it.
458
00:17:43,150 --> 00:17:45,150
I hope you and Joe
didn't think that you
weren't invited?
459
00:17:45,650 --> 00:17:47,650
Oh, no, no, no.
460
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:49,650
Boy, he just thought
it was some silly mix-up.
461
00:17:49,650 --> 00:17:51,650
You guys are close friends.
462
00:17:51,650 --> 00:17:53,660
You know what he thinks of you.
463
00:17:53,660 --> 00:17:55,660
Leave a message at the beep.
464
00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:57,660
Hi, Dave.
465
00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:00,660
You selfish, pathetic freak!
466
00:18:00,660 --> 00:18:03,170
Remember me, Joe Hackett,
the guy that wasn't invited
467
00:18:03,170 --> 00:18:04,670
to your stupid wedding?!
468
00:18:04,670 --> 00:18:06,670
You know, I should have
just turned the other way
469
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:09,670
and let that motorcycle gang
in Flagstaff
470
00:18:09,670 --> 00:18:12,170
pass you around
like they wanted to.
471
00:18:12,170 --> 00:18:14,680
But no, I had to pull
the Vega around
472
00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,680
and trade you for all my beer.
473
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:19,680
Oh, by the way,
your wedding is a farce, yeah.
474
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:21,180
All your friends know it.
475
00:18:21,180 --> 00:18:23,690
Oh, and we've got
a little pool going.
476
00:18:23,690 --> 00:18:25,190
The odds are 5 to 1
477
00:18:25,690 --> 00:18:27,190
she cheats on you
in the first year,
478
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:29,190
you pathetic, sorry loser!
479
00:18:29,190 --> 00:18:31,690
So in case
it hasn't sunk in yet,
480
00:18:31,690 --> 00:18:32,690
I hate your guts!
481
00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,200
(knocking)
482
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,200
Dave?
483
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:41,200
Hey, buddy, guess what I have.
484
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,710
Hah.
485
00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:49,210
(doorbell rings)
486
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,720
Hi there.
487
00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:00,720
Ho there.
488
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:02,720
Come on in.
489
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,730
Listen, uh, Dani, uh...
490
00:19:06,230 --> 00:19:07,730
about tonight...
I don't think
491
00:19:08,230 --> 00:19:10,730
it's such a good idea
if we go out.
492
00:19:10,730 --> 00:19:12,730
You know,
I was thinking the same thing.
493
00:19:12,730 --> 00:19:14,240
You were?
494
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,240
Yeah.
495
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,240
I think it's time we, uh...
496
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,240
stayed in.
497
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:21,240
Oh, yes?
Oh, yes.
498
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:22,240
All righty.
499
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:25,250
Look, Dani, I really
have something
500
00:19:25,250 --> 00:19:27,750
I have to talk to you about.
501
00:19:27,750 --> 00:19:30,250
What is it?
502
00:19:30,250 --> 00:19:32,760
What is what?
503
00:19:32,750 --> 00:19:35,260
Ooh, Bri-Bri!
504
00:19:35,260 --> 00:19:38,260
Okay, I think it
just came back to me.
505
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:39,260
Look, Dani, uh...
506
00:19:39,260 --> 00:19:41,760
I've been thinking
an awful lot
507
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,770
about our relationship.
508
00:19:43,770 --> 00:19:44,770
So have I.
509
00:19:44,770 --> 00:19:47,270
And I am so glad
we took the time out
510
00:19:47,770 --> 00:19:49,770
to get to know
each other.
511
00:19:49,770 --> 00:19:52,270
That's why this
feels so right.
512
00:19:52,270 --> 00:19:53,780
Oh, right.
513
00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:54,780
So right.
514
00:19:54,780 --> 00:19:56,780
All righty.
515
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:58,780
Righty-dighty.
516
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:00,280
Oh, ho.
517
00:20:00,780 --> 00:20:02,280
Oh, no, no, no.
518
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:03,790
No-no-no-no!
519
00:20:03,790 --> 00:20:04,790
No, no, no.
520
00:20:04,790 --> 00:20:05,790
No-no-no-no-no!
521
00:20:06,290 --> 00:20:07,290
I... I... I...
I-I-I-I-I-I!
522
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:09,790
No-no-no-no-no!
523
00:20:09,790 --> 00:20:11,790
Wait, Dani, Dani, please.
524
00:20:11,790 --> 00:20:13,300
Please, I'm sorry. This...
525
00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:14,800
this just isn't, uh...
526
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:16,300
this-- this isn't right.
527
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,300
Well...
528
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:22,810
what isn't...
529
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,310
right?
530
00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:26,310
Huh?
531
00:20:26,310 --> 00:20:27,810
What? Who said that?
532
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:30,310
I'll kill them!
533
00:20:30,310 --> 00:20:32,820
You know, I think
I know what you mean
534
00:20:32,810 --> 00:20:34,320
about this not being right.
535
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,320
You do?
536
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:36,820
Yeah.
537
00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:40,320
I think we should
take this into the bedroom.
538
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,320
Okay... the bedroom.
539
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:43,830
Good idea.
540
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:45,330
Mm-hmm.
541
00:20:45,330 --> 00:20:46,830
Here we go.
542
00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:48,330
Come on, Bri-Bri...
543
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:50,330
Oh, oh, wait.
I'm sorry.
544
00:20:50,330 --> 00:20:51,830
I'm sorry, Dani.
I'm sorry.
545
00:20:51,830 --> 00:20:54,340
I really have
to tell you something.
546
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:57,840
My God, you are the sexiest,
most beautiful woman
547
00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:58,840
I have ever been with.
548
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:00,840
But lately
549
00:21:00,840 --> 00:21:03,350
I've been doing a lot
of soul searching
550
00:21:03,350 --> 00:21:05,850
and I really need to change...
551
00:21:05,850 --> 00:21:07,350
the pattern of my life.
552
00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:10,350
It's just better for my growth
as an individual.
553
00:21:10,350 --> 00:21:12,860
I don't want to be
the old Brian anymore.
554
00:21:12,850 --> 00:21:15,360
What I'm...
what I'm trying to say is...
555
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,860
This is harder for me
than I thought.
556
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:19,860
Um, do you have a glass of...
557
00:21:19,860 --> 00:21:21,360
Water?
558
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:23,370
Did you say "water"?
559
00:21:23,370 --> 00:21:24,870
Yeah.
560
00:21:25,370 --> 00:21:27,370
You finished my sentence.
561
00:21:27,370 --> 00:21:28,370
So?
562
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:29,870
Works for me!
563
00:21:34,880 --> 00:21:39,380
DANI:
Love lift us up
where we were wrong
564
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:41,880
Where the eagles die
565
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,390
And the mountains fly...
566
00:21:51,390 --> 00:21:53,400
I can't believe I
actually shoplifted--
567
00:21:53,400 --> 00:21:56,400
just for a
cheap thrill.
568
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:57,900
Oh, don't beat
yourself up over it.
569
00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:59,400
The important thing is,
you'll never do it again.
570
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:00,900
Oh, I certainly won't.
571
00:22:00,900 --> 00:22:02,900
I just thank God
I wasn't caught.
572
00:22:03,410 --> 00:22:06,910
Never felt so
alive, huh?
573
00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:08,910
200 Hours of community service
574
00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:11,410
just for lifting
one lousy tweezer.
38041
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof