All language subtitles for Show.Dogs.2018.1080p.BluRay.x264.AAC5.1-[YTS.MX]

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PIGEON 1: Follow me.
We're almost there.
PIGEON 2: Where are we going?

PIGEON 1: To help Max
with his stakeout.
PIGEON 2: Yes!

Ooh! This is incredible.
Are you sure it's going
down at the docks?

Oh, yeah. The coolest things
always go down at the docks.
Oh...

And occasionally
abandoned warehouses.

PIGEON 2: (GASPS)
And this place has both.

Are you sure it hasn't
started yet? I do not
wanna miss a thing.

PIGEON 1: There he is.
Max. NYPD.

The toughest cop
on the force.

Ugh. Not tonight, guys.
Ooh! He's alone.

You bet he's alone, Midge.
He always works alone.

Hey, guys. My bad.
Sorry I'm late.
What did I miss?

(MIDGE SHUSHING)

Max is on a stakeout.
His badge is on the line.
(SIGHS)

What? My badge
is not on the line.

You want us to watch
your six, Maxi?

No. Do you even know
what six means?

Yeah, it's how many
fingers I have.

Can you make him stop?
Quiet. Do you hear that?

(GASPS) Bad guy boat.

Pigeon PD, assume
undercover identities.

(PIGEONS COOING)

Sorry.
What is happening?

Come to papa.

If you need backup, Max,
the Pigeon PD
is ready for action.

I don't need backup.
I'm taking these
smugglers down solo.

PIGEON 3: (WHISPERS)
It's starting.
PIGEON 2: Oh, finally.

HENCHMAN: Yo, Samson,
check the dock.

(DOG BARKING)

Mastiff. I knew
I smelt bad attitude.

(PANDA WHIMPERS)

(MAX SHUSHES)

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

MAN: We've got Ling Li.
Come on in.

MAX: Ling Li, shh.

My name is Max
and I promise you

me and the NYPD
are gonna get you home
safe to your mama.

You're gonna be okay,
I promise you that.

DISPATCH ER: Suspected buyers
on the move.
Hold your positions.

MAN: Get back in the vehicle.

The money's all here,
guv'nor.

Wet-Nap? (SNIFFING)
Lavender scented?

It's go time.

Time to play dead, cop.

I don't know that trick.
Let me teach you.

Hope you can doggy paddle.

(MASTIFF EXCLAIMS)

And the judges say?

6.0.

He can flip
this bird any day.

What is Max doing?
He's just supposed
to be on lookout.

OFFICER: Freeze!
Get your hands
where I can see them!

MAX: Oh, not on my watch.

(EXCLAIMS)

I'm the good guy,
you idiot.

(SCREAMS)

DISPATCHER: Do not endanger
the panda. Repeat: do not
endanger the panda.

(GROANS)

(MAX SPITS)

Fake beard?
NYPD?

This is an FBI operation.
FBI?

I think I would
have gotten
a memo about that.

Heading eastbound on foot.
Stand down.
This is my bust.

We're blown.
AGENT: What happened?

Some rogue police dog.

Yeah, I'm pretending
to know what's going
on right now.

Oh. Okay, so Max, the cop,
he pulled off the beard
of the FBI agent,

but, oh, you know,
that is not good.

Oh, no, no.

Nice doggy. No.

MAX: Whoa!

Dang Feds.

Someone ought to put
a leash on you.

Oh, yeah? Well,
let's see 'em try.

(WHISTLES)

MAX: You running like
a wiener dog.

Ha-ha!

Yes!

(GROANING)

MAX: (LAUGHS)
You just been recycled.

I'm gonna neuter
that mongrel.

Two-eight-seven.
I need a car. I need a...
(YELLS)

Yes, I won. Oh, no.

(GROANS)

Yeah, what's the
matter, buddy, huh?
Dogs can't jump fences?

Boo-yeah!

You play defense.

(MAX CHUCKLES)

I play open fence.

You gotta be
kidding me.

Okay...

Good doggy, good doggy.

I'm good all right. Good at
taking a bite outta crime.

My name's Petey.
What's your name?

Who let the dogs out?
Where's that panda?

Who, literally,
who let them out?

(TIRES SCREECH)

This fool again!

Whoa.

Hey!

Freeze! FBI!
Okay, all right.
Take it easy, okay?

Spin around.
Here we go. All right.

All right, take it easy,
Magnum PI.

I'm gonna take it easy.

This Fed's been
a pain in my butt
all night.

Time for a little hair
of the dog.

(SCREAMS)

This is a huge...
Where is our panda?
Where is our panda?

And I might have rabies,
so, thank you, NYPD.

We're sorry, Agent.
It's not like Max to attack
a fellow officer.

That dog has anger issues.
Look at his eyes.

He needs therapy.
Dog therapy?

I don't know. I'm not
an expert in canine
mental disorders,

I'm an FBI agent.

This dude is just asking
to be my next chew toy.

This panda sting
was an FBI investigation.

What was that dog
doing there?
Max is part of our team.

Your team should have been
doing their job,

not interfering
with our investigation.

(HOWLING)

Hey, calm down, Sarge.

How'd you
let this happen?

You know that
wasn't my fault.

That panda needs to be
back at the zoo
with her mother.

She's only
eight weeks old.

...of a 12...
Of a 12...

I know. (HOWLS)

Wait a second.
Now you got me doing it.

Why are there dogs
in this meeting?

They are some
of New York's finest.

What is happening
in this town?

Contraband entering New York
ports comes under NYPD
jurisdiction.

Ling Li is not
mere contraband.

Her kidnapping from China and
transportation to this country

is an international crime.

Well, I hope you have
better luck solving
this international crime

than you had with the others.

Didn't you Feds somehow
blow a sting operation

involving a pygmy
three-toed
sloth in Panama?

And what about
the Bengal tiger

who was kidnapped just
last week in Singapore?

And don't forget
the albino python...

I'll have you know
that that sloth was
very fleet of foot.

For a sloth.
We're done here.

It was a very
fast sloth.

Sarge, you just gonna
roll over and let the FBI
take our case?

Oh, that's exactly what
I'm gonna do.

In this business,
you gotta know
your place sometimes.

Thank you, Chief.
Okay. Well, enjoy.

But somebody's gotta
do something.
SARGE: Be right there, Maxi.

A little to the left.
A little to the left. Bingo!

Hey, hey, Max.
How you doing?
What's up, Rico?

Bob.
Yo, big dog.

Hey, Sparky.

Hey, Max.
Where'd they put
my suspect?

Interrogation room two.

You and I
got a big problem.

Do you know
this song?
It's called...

(SINGING)
You got nothing on me
You got nothing on...

Really?
Yeah, man.

'Cause I'm pretty sure
I saw you with
a stolen panda.

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Come on.

Who's to say it was
a stolen panda?
Come again?

I'm just saying
that in my experience,

illegal pandas look a lot
like legal pandas.

You can get 'em mixed up.
Okay, smart guy.

So if the panda wasn't hot,
how come you were running?

Well, because there was
a vicious dog chasing me.
Next question.

How about you and I have
a respectful conversation?

MAX: Oh, this is painful.
How about we
order in some lunch?

(SCOFFS)
Is this an interrogation
or a first date?

All right. Do you
wanna see bad cop?

I'll show you bad cop.
Well, I...

No.
Listen, a hint.

Good cop, bad cop works
a lot better with two people.

What are you,
the spinny LEGO-head guy?

(IN DEEP VOICE)
What do you know about it?

(IN NORMAL VOICE)
Right, look...
Oh! This is ludicrous.

This moron
is getting played.
Here comes bad cop.

Sparky? Get the lights.
(GASPS)

FRANK: You're not
gonna get a single...
You got it, Max.

...cheese-flavored nacho,
till you tell me
where that panda is.

No, no, no, no, no.
Don't hurt me.
Don't hurt me.

All right. Now we're
getting somewhere.

Who are you working for
and what's the location
of the panda?

SARGE: He's shaking
in his boots, Max.
I got no names, no nothing.

But I did overhear
something about a show.

SARGE: Show him
some teeth.
What show?

A dog show. A dog show.
Dog show?

They said that if the
deal goes south, they're gonna
try and sell the panda.

It's working.

(MAX BARKING)

The Canini Invitational.

Keep it coming.
MAN: It's in Vegas.

At Caesars, tomorrow night.
That is all I know.

All right.

And scene.

Good work, Agent.
What?

Thanks, Chief.
WOMAN: It makes sense.

(GROWLS)
The Canini Invitational

is the world's most
prestigious dog show.

Celebrities, tech titans.
Chinese billionaires.

Plenty of people with
the cash to stock
their own private zoos.

So they're using
the dog show as a front
for animal smuggling.

All right. Well,
get me on the next
flight to Vegas.

I'll take care
of the rest.

Whoa! You can't let
this idiot take my case.

They should send me.
Tell 'em, Sarge.

I'm on it, Max.

(HOWLING)

You know what?
I'm gonna need
a new identity, though,

if I wanna get access
to that show.

Who needs some wuv there?
Yeah. Sorry, Max. I tried.

WOMAN: What if you
were a contestant?
A contestant?

Oh, yeah, baby.
WOMAN: Yeah.

What are you thinking, Max?

Watch this. The Chief
is about to have
a great idea.

With a dog?

I just had a great idea.
You could enter Max
in the show.

What about Droopy
over here?

Uh, no, no, sorry.
The sergeant...

Are you nuts, Max?
You're a street dog
with a temper.

What do you know
about dog shows?

I made a promise
to a scared little panda
and I aim to keep it.

Who knows where this dog's
gonna bite me next?

WOMAN: Deal with it.
Besides, how hard
can dog shows be?

I'll just google it.

MAN: (SINGING)
Viva Las Vegas

FRANK: (SINGING)
Viva Las Vegas

How I wish
That there were more

Than 24 hours
In the day

'Cause even if there
Were 40 more

I wouldn't sleep a minute...

I give props to Hip Hop
So Hip Hop hooray

Ho...

Viva Las Vegas

Ho, hey, ho

Are you doing this
on purpose?

After five hours
in a travel crate,

we're listening
to my music.

Will you stop?
Max, stop it. That...

What kind of dog
likes hip hop?

Boy, this guy
really doesn't like hip hop.

Look, clearly we got off
on the wrong foot, okay? I...

We should be friends.
We should be best friends.

You're a dog, I'm a man.

Here.

Go on. Go fetch.

Fetch? Fetch! You gotta
learn something
about me, okay?

I don't play the
dog and master bull.

What?

You want a best friend,
get a labradoodle.

'Cause I ain't interested.

Where are you going?
I'm sorry.

But I got real
police work to do.

Bad dog. Heel.

Heel yourself, chump.

Stupid human.
Stupid dog.

WOMAN: Welcome
Canini competitors.

The opening night gala
begins poolside at 7:30.

Dress to impress. Late entry
registration is available...

Agent Nichols. FBI.

MATTIE: Come on in.

Hey.
Hi. I'm Mattie Smith.

Oh. Wow.

You're the Bureau's
canine consultant?

I was expecting
more of a cat lady type,
you know.

(CHUCKLES)

Sorry to disappoint.
No, I...

(EXHALES)

No dog smell.

I mean, no,
it's impressive,
you know,

with the fluffing
and the folding and...

So did you wanna
just bring him in?
Him?

The dog. The Rottweiler.

Am I not speaking English?
Am I barking or something?

Yeah, no. Yeah, the
thing is with that,
he kind of ran off.

He ran off? Is he lost?
Is he okay?

No, it's not like that.
He's dysfunctional,
all right, so...

Anyway, I was kind of
hoping that maybe you have,
like, an extra dog

that I could borrow or...

Oh!

I misunderstood.

So you actually came here...
You wanna borrow a dog?

That'd be great.
Yeah, that'd be...

Did you want that
fluffed or folded, 'cause
I have both in the back?

Right. Look,
it would just be
for a couple of days.

Maybe you could point me
towards sort of, like,
a rent-a-dog service?

Look, Agent Nichols,

I really just don't think
you're cut out for
working with animals,

so there's the door.

Look, I'm really
in a bind here.

Good luck
on your case.

Thank you for your time.
Good luck.

Rent-a-dog? Nope.

What's happening, Luther?
Hey, Max. Hey.

So, hey.

Hey, Max. Hey, hey.
You find me the guy?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like I said.

First, I'll take
that catnip you promised.

Cell 614.
He's the real deal, Max.

He told me hisself.
But the dude is a wash-up.

He's useless.

Hey, this ain't catnip.

No, it's better for you.
Now, get out of here.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

It's showtime.

(WINCING)

Hey, buddy.

Hey.

Look. That paw looks
hurt pretty bad. We'll take
good care of you.

Come on, buddy.

All right,
there you go, boy.

Now, look,
you just rest up,

and we'll get that paw
looked at first thing
in the morning, all right?

And hopefully
we'll find you
a new home.

(DOG SINGING IN FRENCH)

Yo. I'm looking for
a famous show dog.
You Philippe de Fabulous?

Who do I have
the pleasure of smelling?

Max. NYPD.

I'm entering the
Canini Invitational

and I need an expert like you
to teach me the ropes.
(SHUSHES)

Look into my eyes.
Okay.

Nope. You do not have
what it takes. Sorry.

What? Cut the attitude.
I know all about you.

Champion show dog at
the top of your game
until one day you...

Got disqualified,

because my breeder
used plumpers and fillers
on my growl lines.

Yeah, and then you went...
Crazy and attacked
the judges. Hmm?

And now I suppose you think
you can manipulate me
into helping you

in a desperate bid
for revenge and redemption.
Hmm?

Actually, I was just...

You are as cunning
as you are persuasive,
Maxwell.

Perhaps you have
what it takes after all.

I shall turn you
into the show dog.

You made the
right choice, gramps.
We shall see.

I cannot polish the turd,
but perhaps we can
roll it in glitter.

I'm gonna
let that slide.

All right, coach,
so what's our first move?

PHILIPPE:
The opening night party,
of course.

MAN: Welcome to the
Canini Invitational
opening night gala.

Through these portals
pass the most elite
canines in the world.

PHILIPPE: Here we meet, greet
and size up the competition.

Yeah, okay,
you do that.

I'll be nosing around
for anything suspicious.

Well, of course,
nobody makes talking
dog movies anymore,

so I've been focusing
on my lifestyle brands.

It's just right there.
Wellington Upstill.

Your name is on the list,
but it says you have
a Rottweiler.

So?
There ain't no dog,
no party.

What? Hey,
(WHISTLES) Max, Max.
Oh.

Buddy. Max.
That's my dog.
Right there. Hey.

Something you
haven't told me?
FRANK: Look. It's me.

Uh, yeah.
I'm an undercover cop.

And Hooch over there
is the idiot human
they stuck me with.

Hey, Rottweiler.
Is this guy with you?

Hey, why don't you use
that leash on your dog?

Okay, thank you
for the advice.

What is your deal, man?
Where'd you disappear to?

You're jeopardizing my case.
Just ignore him.

Wait, you got a dog?
Do dogs have their own dogs?
Is that a thing?

WOMAN: It's all gonna be
about Daisy this year.

MAN: Hey, Mattie.
Go, Daisy.
(LAUGHS) You got it?

Hey, great shoes.

By the way,
Hooch was the dog.

The what now?
Turner & Hooch.

Turner was the cop
and Hooch was the dog.

Poor Beasley.

After playing Hooch, he was
forever typecast as
a slobbering imbecile.

Oh, my God, you're...

Back from the dead, yes.

Philippe! (LAUGHS)
I'm your biggest fan.

Oh, well... And you are?

My name is Buncha Rainbow
Sprinkles Junior III,

but everyone calls me
Sprinkles for short.
(GASPS)

Oh, my God,
who's your friend
with the amazing aroma?

Excuse me. I gotta
check something out.

It's like a kennel mixed
with grease mixed with pizza.

I figured it out.
You're from New York,
aren't you?

Hey.
SPRINKLES: Me too.

Oh, dang.
Oh, man, we are homies.

Wellington Upstill.

Big game hunting mostly,
but lately I've become
weary of the hunt.

Looking for someone
to do the hunt for me.

You know what I mean?
Small exotic bears
from the Middle Kingdom?

Pretty black and white,
if you catch my drift.

Suspicious? Heck, yeah.

Someone raided the minibar
last night and I swear
it wasn't me.

Philippe,
is that you?

My God, Daisy.
You look ravishing.

There were two doggy
chocolates on my pillow
instead of three.

Yo.

This is my student, Maxwell.

Hey.
Maxwell, huh?

I don't think I've
seen you before.

Are you new to dog shows?
Are you kidding?

I mean, I been around
the block, you know,

and not on a leash,
if you catch my drift.

I mean, if you were
comparing me with
the other dogs,

I wouldn't come up lacking,
let's just say that.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

Hey.
Okay.

That's an impressive résumé.

(CLEARS THROAT)
Good luck, Philippe.
I'm really glad you're back.

Wow! She's gorgeous.

I bet she cleans up
at this thing.
MAN: Ladies and gentlemen.

Canini Invitational's
reigning Best in Show winners,

Chauncey Middleton and Dante.

Hello, hello. Yes.
MAX: Who's that?

That is...
That's Dante.
He's really cool.

He's won every show
since... Basically since
Philippe went crazy.

Oh, man,
that was hilarious.

Shouldn't you
be locked up?
Thank you.

Is that my little Philippe?

You traitor!

Get off, you mutt.

That is so Philippe.

(PHILIPPE BARKING)

Hey, grandpa,
you do not bite my person.

Your person stole my dreams
and ruined my life.

You abandoned me.
You abandoned me.

Come, Dante. This dog
is in desperate need
of some training.

Or better yet,
to be put to sleep.

What did you say to him?

(LAUGHING)

Let it go.

This competition is of no
consequence in the grand
scheme of existence.

"You only lose
what you cling to." Aristotle.

Deep.

Hey, why does that dog
need a bodyguard?

Karma is worth
more than a million dollars.

There have been
disappearances
in the past.

Hmm. Maybe it's not only
the panda they're after.

I'm just looking
for a panda.
I need a panda.

Gosh, is it hot in here
or is it me? Is it hot?
Are you hot? I'm hot.

A lot more where
that came from. Not a lot,
I mean, but some.

You seem untrustworthy.

Do you have any idea
where I might find something
in a bear, Chinese?

The cure for cancer
lies within them.

Oh. (CHUCKLES)

Good. Just got in
a new shipment
of unmarked bills.

You sound like you know
the true value
of rare animals,

Mr. Upstill, is it?

Yes, well, like I always say,
if you can't kill
and mount it,

might as well collect
and breed it.
Yes, yes.

Would you like to come
to a little party
tomorrow night?

It's in a warehouse
on the outskirts of town.

I think you'll find exactly
what you are looking for.

Toodles. I have
a phone call to make.

(CELL PHONE RINGS)

(YAWNS)

MAN: Hello?

Tomorrow night, is it? Good.

Well, now you've got me
panda-sitting in a damp
warehouse.

I mean, we are in Vegas,
and I was hoping
that we could be doing...

Guv'nor? Guv'nor?

(SCOFFS)

Oi, Fluffy.

You and me are expecting
some company at the
party tomorrow night.

Some posh buyers are coming
over to take a look at
the fancy merchandise.

Meanwhile, I'm stuck here
eating cold pizza

while the boss is hobnobbing
at the bleeding Caesars' pool.

There you are.
You missed it.

I did some
pretty good police
work over there, so...

Well, good. I see you
found your dog.
That's something.

Hi. How's it
going? Hi.

Yeah, well, you know,
I am an FBI agent, so...

Is that Papillion
with you?

Enchanté.

Did you borrow it
or something?

No, no, no. He just kind of
came with Max. I don't...

Okay, well, if I'm not
mistaken, that dog is a
three-time world champion.

FRANK: That dog?

You don't know anything
about that dog?

No. What do I know
from dogs?

Okay, look, they told me
about this whole situation

with the stolen
baby panda,

and I don't know
why they'd be
trying to sell her here,

but I am happy to help.
Great. Thank you.

But if we're gonna pull this
off, you need to follow
everything I say.

Okay. I'm kind of the
lead agent on this...

I'm sorry. Are you
arguing with me already?

If you wanna look like
a real dog handler,

you have to follow
everything I say.

Okay.
Tomorrow morning.
Don't be late.

Okay.
Mmm-hmm.

This is weird.

Yes. You about
to get trained, boy.

(SCOFFS) Can you believe
all this luxury and excess,

just because
of a stupid dog show?

Isn't this wonderful?

The beautiful view,
the Snausage
and cheese platter,

the toilet filled with
champagne.

(TOILET FLUSHES)

Maybe not champagne.

No, no, no, no.

I don't do animals
on the bed.
Come on, get out.

Were you always
wearing that robe?

(SIGHS)

What are you doing?

I am a dog. He is human.
This is what nature intended.

Not for me.

Are you sure you
will not join us?
Plenty of room for three.

No, thanks.
I'm fine on the floor.

Always have been
and always will be.

(SIGHS)

MAN: Welcome to the
Canini Invitational,

where we celebrate
these noble creatures.

Only the top 50 dogs in the
world are invited to
compete in the Canini,

making it the world's
most exclusive canine
competition.

And only one will
leave this weekend

as the Canini Invitational's
Best in Show.

Number one!

Yeah, that's right.
Bow to the king.

Did you hear that Misty
got fixed last week?

Rubber baby buggy bumpers.
Rubber baby buggy bumpers.

Wait. Butt implants?

Golden retriever?
Not a real golden.

Turns out
he wasn't neutered
after all.

Toy boat.
Stay focused, Janice.
Stay focused, Janice.

Are you sure
we in the right place?

PHILIPPE: Pourquoi?

MAX: 'Cause seeing
all these clowns,

I could have swore we
were backstage
at a Cirque du Soleil.

With those jokes,
you will not make
many friends.

Excuse me.
I'm not here
to make friends.

I'm here to
find enemies, okay?

I got 72 hours to make good
on a promise I made.

Welcome to the Canini,
Mr. Upstill.
Come on, guys.

So how does this work?
There are three rounds.

In the first,
the dogs compete
against their own breed.

Then, in round two,
all the Best
of Breed winners

compete against
each other
for Best of Group.

FRANK: So what group is he?
MATTIE: Working.

But he's not gonna win
in any group,

because he is bow-legged,
roach-backed

and he smells like
he hasn't been washed
in months.

(SCOFFS)
She says that like
it's a bad thing.

Only if you
want to win.

Oh, hi, Philippe.
Uh, Max.

Wait, Mattie's your owner?
No, no, she's my handler.

Though since we're on the road
40 weeks a year together,

she feels like
my big sister.

But most important
is the relationship
between handler and dog.

Is he your handler?
No. More of an assistant.

Ow, ow.

(CHUCKLES)
Make that a rescue.

So where do we start?

Square one.

Whoa!

(LAUGHING)

Watch it, French fry.

Yeah, okay.
Open.

He got you, huh?
Yeah, he got me.

Scrub it in there.
Good.

I got this, yeah.
Keep coming.

I'm gonna get you clean yet.
Three, two...

You waited for me
to get back here
for that, didn't you?

(LAUGHING)

My eyes, they burn.

Gotta say, can't
improve on perfection.

What's that?
It's bikini wax.

When the judges
look under the tail,

it's important to have
a clean view.

Well, in that case,
allow me.

Hey, what's that?
It looks kind of sticky.

It's payback time.

Hey, wait.
What's he doing back there?

The pain passes.
MAX: Philippe!

But the beauty,
she remains.
Wait. What?

(SCREAMING)

Sorry, pal. (CHUCKLES)

Although you are ready
for beach season.

Uh-huh. Laugh it up, Frank,
but you best sleep with
one eye open tonight.

All right, Philippe,
let's show them
how it's done.

PHILIPPE:
Get your books, Maxwell.
You are about to go to school.

When you're in competition,
it's all about details.
Going the extra mile.

You do not win
by blending in.

You win by being
the star.

Max and Frank,
you wanna try?

All right.

Okay, so you
don't wanna
mount the dog.

I'm not gonna
mount the dog.
I'm gonna put the...

Okay, be careful.
I got it. I got it.

You and your dog
have to be in sync
at all times.

Not in this lifetime.
Trust each other
and move as one.

All right. Hey, hey, hey,
Max, hold up.

(SOFTLY) Hold up.
Just be cool.

Oh. Whoever bred you
needs to have
their license revoked.

What's that, Dante?
I know you ain't talking
about my mom and dad.

Hey, everyone. Max thinks
his mom and dad are breeders.

Okay, that's it.

(MAX BARKING)

Max. Heel. Heel.
You want me to heel?

Fine, I'll show you heel.
Max, quit goofing around.

Hey, let go. Let go.

(GASPS)

Stand down, Officer.
Officer, stand down.

...to the main stage, please.
Rottweilers...

Uh-oh!

This is gonna be hilarious.
Thank you.
This is how we play.

Yeah.

Cameras, focus on the new guy.
It's gonna be a top 10.

(SOFTLY)
Thank you.

Corgis. Congratulations,
ma'am. Rottweilers
up this way, please.

Miss Smith, thank you
so much for joining us.
This way, please.

New guy. Mr... Upstill.
Upstill.

You've been put down here
where it's safe.

Yeah, sorry about before.
We were just trying
the new trick.

Come on, Philippe.

Cassius is a five-time
world champion.

I'm not saying that
to scare you or anything.
Guys, good luck, okay?

Do you hear that?
Five-time champion.

If we get knocked out, we'll
lose our access and maybe
never find Ling Li.

Hey, man. Can somebody
please tell me why
they all look the same?

PHILIPPE: Most likely because
they are all from the
same champion bloodline.

Really? Like one big family?

Yes, in a sense,
I suppose, yes.

Hmm.

Very good, Mr. Upstill.
Mr. Upstill.

MAN: Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome to the arena
that noble breed,

those fearless, loyal
protectors,
the Rottweilers.

(CROWD CHEERING)

(CAMERAS CLICKING)

Returning champion Cassius
is clearly the top dog in
this category.

But Hans made
a strong showing last year

and is looking
to take the crown
this time around.

All eyes are on the judge
as he calls up the first
contestant,

veteran competitor Sadie,
to begin the examination.

Huh.

Hey. Hey, you guys notice
anything unusual going on?

Hans had some work
done again, but there's
nothing unusual about that.

I noticed how unusually hot
Daisy looks this year.
Woof! I smell a playdate.

Daisy don't go Rotty, and she
certainly don't go for losers.

Has anyone ever
told you guys that you have
a real resemblance?

You guys aren't related,
are you?

Course not.
I'm from Tennessee.

And I'm from Chicago.
Originally?

Well, no. Originally
I was adopted.
Hey, same. Me too.

You don't say. From where?

Hopkinsville, Kentucky.
Hopkinsville, Kentucky.

Hey, I'm from
Hopkinsville too.

Me too, before
I moved to
Deutschland.

Well, when are
your birthdays?
April 19th.

ALL: April 19th.
That means you're...

ALL: Brothers!

I once had a litter in
Hopkinsville.

Oh, my God. Could it be?

ALL: Mama!

ANNOUNCER: The entire
line of competitors
has broken ranks.

What did I miss?
ANNOUNCER: Clearly
a disqualifiable offense.

ANNOUNCER: Let's see what
the judges decide.

You're number one.
Oh, yeah.

ANNOUNCER: And newcomer
Max wins.
What?

Max! That's my best friend.

Number one.
ANNOUNCER: This is
unprecedented

in Canini Invitational
history,

as the entire field forfeits.

Okay, that was incredible.
How did he do that?

Max? I was the one
holding the leash.

Yeah, but...
Max, that was very
unsportsmanlike.

Tell that to Ling Li.

Besides, it was a good thing
I did out there today.

Warms my heart
to see that family reunited.

You're different
than other show dogs,
aren't you?

I'm a mutt of
many mysteries.

Right-hand drive?
Straight from London, baby.

This is so exciting.
My first stakeout.

This don't smell right.
What kind of party is in
an abandoned warehouse?

A very exclusive one,
of course.

Whoa. Definitely
a party.

I love it. The glamour,
the fashion, the toilet water.

All right, here's the plan.

I'm gonna see who tries
to sell me that panda.

(BARKING)

Try not to blow my cover.
Oh, yeah?

Well, while you're off
chasing your tail,
I'll be cracking this case.

Why am I talking to dogs?

(CHUCKLES)
I've got you
this time.

What is all this talk
about the panda?

That is on
a need-to-know basis.

Silly me. I forgot I was
stuck with a hard-bitten
cop who trusts no one.

Oh.

There you are.
Thought this was VIP.

What, do you
know the bouncer?
Wellington Upstill.

I wanted to introduce you
to a client of mine.

This is Senor Gabriel
and his dog Karma.

What's up, boy-boy?
Well, that's some dog.

He's my best friend.
The only one who loves
me unconditionally.

Well, that's great
that you two

have that connection.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

I'm sorry, Gabe.
Where did you say
you were from?

Here and there.

Dang, that photographer's
slippery.

Where did he go?
SPRINKLES: Max!

Whoo! Buddy, you were
incredible today.

(LAUGHS)

How did you
get to be so alpha?
Um. By not caring.

SPRINKLES:
Not caring? Seriously?

Hmm. Now,
what do we have here?

Bodyguard.
Bodyguard by the door.

I gotta get me
in that room.

I need some
kind of distraction.

Maxwell, are you
listening to me?

Hey, how come there's
no dogs in the pool?

The night before
a competition?

Please. The mats.
The tangles.
The pH balance.

That's all I needed
to hear.

Maxwell,
what are you doing?

I'm getting
this party started.

(LAUGHS)

That feels good.
Wow...

Outrageous.
Can he do that?

Gee, I don't know.
Oh, boy.

Daisy, isn't that your boy
in the swimming pool?

No. You know
I don't go for bad boys.

Mmm-hmm.

Are you crazy? Do you want us
all to be replaced by CGI?

Oh, man.

Well, this event's
becoming dreadfully
common.

Cowabunga!

Wanna do it?
Yeah, sure. You betcha.

Come on, everybody.

PHILIPPE: This is not Canini.
This is chaos.

Pool party!
Yeah!

MAX: What are you
waiting for, Sprinkles?

Pugs don't float.

Watch out. Oh, gosh.

Cannonball!

TOGETHER: Party! Party!
Party! Party! Party!

Mmm-hmm.
That is some fine canine.

Get the dog out of the pool!
Good. Now to get in that room.

Impressive, but maybe
you should save
your big splash

for the final competition.

Got any more insider tips
you could share?

Maybe. If the price
is right.

Well, let me see
what I can do.

Tell you what, meet me
outside the hotel
after Mattie goes to sleep.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I got some business
to take care of.

MAN: Congratulations,
gentlemen.

You will soon be in possession
of this year's Best in Show.

Best in Show?

Whoa.

Uh-oh!

Think of something, Max.

Inbreeding.

(CELL PHONE RINGS)

There's that ringtone.

Oh, I got you now.

Come on, come on,
come on, come on.

The deal's closed.
Three million.

SENOR GABRIEL:
You're gonna love it.

It's one of the
most beautiful
creatures I've ever seen.

Let's see.
We got it. I'll be there.

Yeah, got the money.
We have spoken at length.

Which one of you
has my panda?

Bear? Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah.

Don't worry.

I'll have the panda
all prettied up by the time
them buyers get here.

What's that?
Ten minutes, is it?
We'll be ready. No problem.

There you are. I quit.
I am finished being
your teacher, Maxwell.

You are cynical, overbearing.
You have no friends.

You cannot work with partners.
You trust no one. You...

You done?
Tell me what is going on.

All right, all right.
I'm working
a kidnapping case.

(GASPS)
A baby panda was stolen
from her mother,

and the people who did it
are somewhere at this party.

Best in Show, eh? Really?
I'll get an extra cage.

Right. Talk later.

Oi, Fluffy.

No.

Ling Li, I'm talking to you.
Wait there, you little muppet.

Ling Li?

No. No, Fluffy.
No, Fluffy. No, no.

Fluffy.

Hi.

I shall
help you, Maxwell.
Okay, great.

And I shall help you too.

Maybe it's not
the worst idea
to get some help.

Yes.
Okay, then.

I'm deputizing both of you.
Really? So freaking alpha.

Spread out.

You see anything
suspicious, report
immediately to your CO.

Yes, sir.
I accept.

But I get to be
the bad cop.

Fluffy!

Fluffy? Fluffy?
(LING LI COOING)

Fluffy?

Excuse me. Excuse me.
Get out of my way.

Ling Li, where you gone?
Where are you? Ling Li.

Okay, one second.

I need you to guarantee
we can deliver Best in Show.

Whose life are you
ruining now, Chauncey?

Philippe! Oh, my gosh!
Can we get
a selfie with you?

Oh, well,
if you insist.

Cute.
PHILIPPE: Mon dieu.

I look like the
crazed ferret.

The world can never see.
Get back here!

Ling Li?
I'm on your tail,
suspicious dude.

Sorry, love. Excuse me.

Oh, I didn't know
dogs could climb trees.
Let me just... (GASPS)

Is this cupcake frosting?
It is!

(LING LI SQUEALS)

(CHUCKLES) You gonna lead me
straight to that panda, right?

Wait. I'm not done.

Hey, guys.
You investigating
frosting too?

Hey, you got some
behind your ear. I can get
that for you if you like.

It'd be my pleasure.

I got you now.

(MAX BARKING)
(FRANK SCREAMS)

Max, come on.
What are you doing? Max.

Hi, there. Sorry. I knew
I should have left you
tied up outside.

Yeah, well,
I should have tied
you up in New York.

I am so glad
you could make it,
Mr. Upstill.

Yeah, sorry, we were just,
you know... We were...

And then she was...
But, anyway,
thank you for, you know...

I'm just really
looking forward
to getting

a private moment that we...

As am I.

Yes, because we can
discuss that matter
that we wanted to...

Yes, indeed.
The rare animals.

You know, I have researched
all of the competitors

and I could not help
but notice

the supremely
striking specimen
you possess.

Max?

I am giving you
the opportunity

to breed your dog

with my Old English
Whipi-Huahua-Hound.

Your what, now?

Persephone, come.

Hey. Uh-huh.
KLAUS: The only one
in the world.

Isn't she a beauty?
Can I get an amen up in here?

Oh, boy.

Whoa.

Yeah, you cute. But I have
to work with you
first, honey.

You definitely going to
have to lose that tail.

What? Okay.
Ugh. And that breath.

You're a toilet drinker,
am I right?

All the time. I mean,
I'm completely gross,
trust me.

Wait. Hold up.
Is that a bald spot?

Yes. Yes, it is.
You need some Rogaine, honey.

There you are.

Come on, Poopsie.
Mama's tired.

Let's go home and have
some choco-drops, okay?

Persephones
do not date baldies,
no fools, no long...

Girl, is it hot in here
or is it you?

Oh. I'm not
touching that.
Check, please.

Everything's better
with Sprinkles.

Due to the fact
that you are
too pugly, goodbye.

Look. They are
bonding already.

Can you imagine
how glorious
their puppies will be?

Puppies?

(CHUCKLES) I...

(WHINING)

No. No,
I don't think so.

What's that?
My dog doesn't wanna do it.

(LAUGHING)

What do you care
what your dog wants?

Well... I think everyone
deserves to choose love
for themselves,

even if they are a dog.

Huh. What do you know?
Will you excuse me?

Persephone, come.
Yes, honey. Sashay away.

We never got a chance to
talk about the...

Crisis averted.

For you and me both.
So you found the panda?

No. I destroyed
a terrible photo of myself.

Did you learn anything?

Well, I don't know
if they're connected,

but something's going down
involving the Best in
Show winner.

I'm gonna see if I can gain
some more insight tonight.

(SIGHS)
All right, come on.

Hopefully,
for Ling Li's sake,
tomorrow's a better day.

Hey! Hey!

Come back with my Poopsie!

(GASPS) Oh...

Poopsie, there you are.
Come on, Poopsie.

Terribly sorry I'm late,
ladies and gentlemen.

The bidding starts
at a mere 10 million,

for this exquisite,
cherished

and most beautiful creature.

Can I get 10 million?

Ten million from
the man in the suit.

You look amazing.
Thank you.

So, the mutt of many
mysteries wants some
insider show tips, huh?

Yes, I do.
You gotta give me
something first.

Like what?

Show me what it's like
on the outside.

You've never been
leash-less,
have you?

Don't make fun of me.

So, what do you do
when you aren't
tied to someone?

Come on.

On three. Ready?
Oh, gosh.

One...
Okay.

Two...
I'm gonna faint.

Three! Whoo-hoo.

Yeah!

This is amazing, Max.
What?

I said this is amazing!

Vegas!

Sean, Sean, wait.

Ta-da!

Come on, let's go, let's go.
Sorry.

Another one.

Two. Another one.
Another one.

One, two. In the hat.
There you go.

This is some dinner.
These are just the appetizers.

For the main course
I have something
really special.

Ah, this is so beautiful.

All right.
Dinner is served.

Oh, my gosh, garbage.
My favorite.

Garbage? No.

This is the finest
New York-style hot dog
this city has to offer.

Really? In that case,
I can't wait.

Whoops.

This is so romantic.

He's a-lady-
and-the-tramping her.

What? You gotta be kidding me.
You guys flew all
the way out here?

Of course. Hello?
We follow all your cases.

MAX: Hey.
And your kisses.

MAX: Knock it off.
Max, who are these guys?

Remember that time
you went undercover

as an emotional support dog?

So sensitive.
So vulnerable. So dreamy.

He cried.
That was acting.

Just an undercover cop
doing his job.

Get out of here. Scram.
Wait. So you're, what, a cop?

(SIGHS)

Yes. Yes, I am.
I'm working undercover.

As a show dog?
Yeah.

Can you believe it?
Prancing around
in stupid little circles,

looking pretty,
pretending I'm one...

One of us?
I know, right?

Can you imagine me
acting all fake and phoney?

Wait. That's what you think
being a show dog is?

Well, yeah. I mean,
dogs like me are out there
in the streets,

in the real world,
doing the real work,
you know?

Yeah, I do know.

I know you think this thing

that I've devoted
my entire life to

is fake and stupid
and shallow.

And you ask me
out here why?
'Cause you like me?

Well, yeah, Daisy,
but I also...

But you don't respect me
or who I am or what I do.

Come on, Daisy,
it's not like that.

Good luck on
your case, Max.
What? Daisy.

What about the inside...
Oh...

Awkward.
You need
a wing man, Max?

Be strong, Max.
I won't leave you... Ever.
(MAX SIGHS)

We've got no suspects,

and if we get eliminated,
we're gonna lose
all our access.

So no pressure,
then, huh?

Maybe that perp in New York
gave us bad information.

Maybe the panda
was never even here.

(GROWLS)
Hmm.

Your eyebrows always
been this uneven?

Competitors to the main stage
in five minutes, please.

PHILIPPE: This is not good.
Five minutes.

Not good at all.
Calm down.

You are about to go
into your biggest
challenge yet

and you have not
prepared at all.

You will be humiliated.

Making me nervous
isn't gonna make
it any better.

There we go.

You missed a spot, Frank.

You know what?
I think I missed a spot.

Beautiful.

ANNOUNCER: Daisy wins
the herding group's
agility round.

Hey. Mr. Upstill.

Please stand by while we reset
the stage for the working...

"Agility round"?
Oh-ho. I got this.

ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the
Canini Invitational
disc competition.

Go, Karma.

Each dog must catch and return
discs to the judges.

The first dog to return three
discs wins the competition.

Max, come on.

What?
Wow.

Nice vertical.

ANNOUNCER: Dog number two,
the Rottweiler,
has returned all the discs.

He cannot do that!
He can do that?

ANNOUNCER:
I can't believe my eyes.

Let's see what the judges
think about it.

Number one.
That's right.

ANNOUNCER: The Rottweiler
wins the round.

It's incredible.
(SPEAKS SPANISH)

You blind or what?

Sorry. I'm so sorry.
Well played. Thank you.

ANNOUNCER: Round two.
The high jump competition.

What's this?

The Rottweiler wants the bars
set at a new record height.

Uh-huh.

(AUDIENCE GASPS)

ANNOUNCER: I can't believe it.

Wow.

ANNOUNCER: The Rottweiler
does it again.

We are witnessing
history, folks.

He's a good jumper.

ANNOUNCER: Round three.

Go, Karma.
Come on, come on.

You can't push the river.
It flows on its own.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

ANNOUNCER: And the Komondor
has a very good run,

putting him in first place.

Let's see what the
Rottweiler can do.

And the Rottweiler
has an amazing run
of 17 seconds.

Ladies and gentlemen,
a new Canini record.

The final round.

An assault course
combining speed,
agility and intelligence.

The first dog to get their
colored bag back to the judges

wins maximum points.

(BLOWS WHISTLE)

Hey.
You like the view?

Fresh bikini wax.

ANNOUNCER: The Rottweiler
goes up to another
competitor's tube.

Over and out.
ANNOUNCER: I'm not even
sure if that's legal.

Step off my tower.
Yes. Sorry.

ANNOUNCER: And the Boxer
has taken the lead.

Dang, how did he get
ahead of me?

Here goes nothing.

ANNOUNCER: And the Rottweiler,
he’s jumping and he's...

What just happened?

Max, with the buzzer beater
from half-court.

ANNOUNCER:
This is unprecedented,
ladies and gentlemen.

And the judges
are checking the rule books.

That was unbelievable.

Number one.

ANNOUNCER:
An unknown Rottweiler

is rewriting what it means
to be a show dog

before our very eyes.

Good job, buddy.
Game, set, Max.

WOMAN: Congratulations,
Mr. Upstill.
Thank you.

We did it, buddy.
You did a great job.

All right, guys. I'm proud of
you. Sorry, Karma.
Can't win 'em all.

No worries. My happiness
is not dependent on outcomes.

Plus, I have four rings.
Three finals MVPs,

fifteen All-Star appearances,
and, yes, I'm a Hall of Famer.

Namaste.
Okay.

Mr. Upstill, congratulations.
That is one incredible dog.

He is. Thank you.

Reset the stage
for the toy group, please.

Bravo.
What's wrong?

I can't help but to feel pity
for these champions.

Because they lost?

Because they were denied
their glory by your
unorthodox showboating.

Come on.
It's just a dog show.

Non, this is more.

This is the one place
you can be proud
to be yourself,

no matter if you
are big or fat,
furry or bald,

or a tiny Papillon
from a pig farm in Belgium.

This is the
Canini Invitational.

It is not just a dog show,
monsieur.

What? What did I say?

Whoa. That not caring thing
is so alpha.

Oh, man, let me try it,
let me try. (CLEARS THROAT)

Hey, I'm Max. You know,
dog shows are so stupid.

I'll probably forget all your
names after this weekend,
except Sprinkles.

I wish he was my best friend.

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS) I wish the same
thing too, Max.

Hey, congratulations.
It's good. Winning
bought you some time.

FRANK: Which is a good thing.

When it comes
to kidnappings,
one wrong move could...

Jeopardize the
victim's safety.

...jeopardize
the victim's safety.

You really know
your stuff.

Unfortunately.

I never did ask you,
how you got
involved with the FBI.

A few years ago,

a Border Collie that I was
handling, was stolen.

Really?

Yeah. His name
was Jasper.

He was, like,
the sweetest thing
you ever saw.

Jasper's a cute name.

Well, he would
do this thing
where he would run

in these little circles
around all the kids,

and I don't know if it's
'cause he thought
they were sheep,

or maybe he just thought
they were vulnerable, but...

I think that he just wanted
to protect everybody.

But I couldn't
protect him,
you know.

Oh.

I'm so sorry.

Jasper was worth
a lot of money, right?

He's a world champion,
so he's worth millions.

You see, I think
this is all connected.

See, I think
these people,

they didn't just come here
to sell a panda.

They came here
to steal a dog.
Okay, but which one?

I don't know.
Which one's the
most valuable?

Whoever wins Best in Show.

Oh, yeah. Now we are
cooking with gas,
people. (BARKS)

Hola. Hola.

MATTIE: Gabriel.

I'm so sorry
about Karma.

It's what the universe
wanted, I suppose.

Congratulations,
Mr. Upstill.
Thank you.

Nothing could change
how I feel about this guy.

I don't dwell on the past.
Anyway...

The present is
its own present.
I just came to thank you.

Really. We'll be
leaving tomorrow,

but we wanna reserve your
services again for next year.

MATTIE: Of course.
It'd be my pleasure.

Thank you, as always, Mattie.

Wet-Naps,
lavender scented.
MATTIE: Have a good trip.

My friend.

Let's go.

Deputies, on my six.
Yes, sir.

Oh, code. I like it.

Because I know
exactly what I'm doing.

Yeah. They will
have to triple
that for a Best in Show.

Why are we doing this?
Gabriel is a pillar
of the community.

We're doing "zis"
because it's fun.
Ha-ha!

You're right, I'm being crazy.

Half the world uses
Wet-Naps, right?

SPRINKLES: Hey, I recognize
that guy from the
warehouse party.

He smelled funny then too.

What is that peculiar scent?

That scent is bear.
Panda bear.
After you, guv'nor.

Gabriel is the smuggler.

Whoa.
Go get Frank.

Philippe and I'll
corner him, okay?
SPRINKLES: Yes, sir.

On the count of three
we jump out and growl.

The plastic surgery makes
only the smiling possible.

Oh, grow some balls.
I'll do it alone.

I'm gonna have the
Best in Show.

(SHUDDERS)

Hey, hey.
You are under arrest.

Is this violence and anger
really what's in your heart?

Step aside.
Let us meditate
on the situation.

Yama, yama, yama, yama.
I don't see
you guys meditating.

I'm not kidding,
Doggie Lama.
Step aside.

Karma, get in.

Future me
forgives past you
for present us.

What?

Frank.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.
What's going on?

It's Gabriel.
He's the smuggler.
He has the panda.

Max, what's
wrong with you?
The panda.

The cute little
fuzzy thing
about this size.

Come on, Frank.
Don't you get it?

Hey!
Easy, boy.

What's going on?

This dog attacked
a man

and is being remanded
to city custody
for 24 hours.

Max doesn't attack people.
WOMAN: I'm sorry, sir.

He attacked
a Mr. Gabriel Esteban.

Is Gabriel
all right?

He's fine, but he's alerted us
to this public safety threat.

This is BS.
Max.

Gabriel's got the panda
and he's trying
to get rid of me.

Hey, take it easy on him.
Max. Max.

No, leave him.
Max.

No! I'm not the one
you should be arresting.

Max!

Why can't people understand
what dogs say?

PHILIPPE: No. No.
Philippe, tell them.

He is innocent.
Frank!

Max.

Max!

Why would Max
go after Gabriel?
I don't know.

What do you know about him?
He's been a client for years.

I've been to events
in three continents with him.

He must have done
something. I mean, Max
is a trained police dog.

Look, you said it yourself,
right? He's got anger
issues sometimes.

(SIGHS)
Something here
just doesn't add up.

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.

(MAX SIGHS)

Hey. Hey there, bud.

You're a good little dude.
MAN: Oh, sorry.

That's okay.
Down, boy.

My apologies.

He just has so much energy
from being pent-up all day
clearing customs.

Such a dreadful amount of
paperwork to bring a dog
into the country.

I know. Me too.

Customs.

Right.

Sloth, python,
Bengal tiger,
dozens more.

Gabriel was at all
the animal kidnappings.

Each one coinciding
with an international
dog show.

Max was right,
he is a very bad man.

You would know this
already if you bothered
to learn our language.

Lazy American.

Max must have known.

Come on.
We got a panda to save.

(ENGINE REVVING)

I don't understand.
Why doesn't
he just arrest Gabriel?

Because that would
alert the other members
of his syndicate.

We need to have Gabriel
lead us to her.

And how do you
propose to do that?

By becoming
the most valuable
dog in the show.

You mean you...
I'm gonna have
Gabriel steal me.

You know, Max,
what if you actually
won the whole show?

Then you'd be
able to lead us
right to Ling Li.

What do you say, partner?

Well, it's official.

(SINGING)
Max has a partner
He so has a partner

Hey, you do
remember I bite, right?

You will need more than sharp
teeth to win this competition.

And the finals are tonight.
(GASPS) Mon dieu.

Cue the montage.

Max, you're gonna love it.

Uh, no.

PHILIPPE: Work together.
Move as one.

Trust your partner
and look happy.

Oh, I got your happy.
Merde.

PHILIPPE: Think as one.
His thoughts
are your thoughts.

Yeah.

PHILIPPE: Yes, gentlemen.

It's good, man.
Good. Good job.

PHILIPPE: Bravo.

FRANK: Good job...

Mmm.

I think I got an eyeball.

PHILIPPE: All aboard
the nappy-time express.

Hey, Max.

Great job today, buddy.
I'm proud of you.

Oh!

Oh, what the heck.
Just this once.

Hey, boy.

ANNOUNCER:
Ladies and gentlemen,

the Canini Invitational
welcomes you

to the final round
of this elite competition.

Tonight we will determine...

FRANK: Tracking on.

Here we go, buddy.

ANNOUNCER: ...Best in Show.

No, you cannot wear
that hideous fashion
faux pas.

This collar has a GPS in it.

Good luck, Mr. Upstill.
Thank you very much.

After I win, I let Gabriel
steal me. Then Frank
will track me to Ling Li.

So your life may depend
on you wearing that collar?

Yep.
Not worth it.

There we go. Okay.

Here we go. Showtime.

Dear Lord, please forgive
my student's ignorance,

and guide him towards victory.

Ladies and gentlemen,
will the Best
in Show contenders

please proceed backstage?

Hey, so I...

Not now, Max. I've got
a dumb dog show
to focus on.

Wait. Daisy, wait.
Introductions
in 60 seconds.

Chauncey.
Fully aware, my good man.

Mr. Upstill. Good luck.

ANNOUNCER: Two-time
national champion...
You're sixth.

Okay. Thank you.
ANNOUNCER: ... winner
of the long-haired group,

Afghan number three,
Sebastian.

A Nevada local,
infamous for her hashtag,
Chow Power,

the winner
of the exotic group, Chow...

Don't bite me.
Listen, Chauncey.

Time, she gives us
the perspective.

Still, this must be said.

What happened between us
was not all your fault.

Perhaps, had I more
confidence, I would have
stopped the madness.

But, alas, I was not able.

Now life has taken us
on separate paths
and I accept it.

I am done living
with the resentments.

I wish you bonne chance,
my friend.

Philippe, you are
the finest competitor

I ever had the honor
of working with.

What are you doing?
Get my master's hand
off you right now.

Yap, yap, yap.

ANNOUNCER: And next...

Should have stuck with
Papillons.
...five-time winner

of Best in Show,
your champion,

Chauncey Middleton.
Chauncey Middleton.

ANNOUNCER:
And the winner
of the toy group,

Yorkshire Terrier
numero uno, Dante.

Yes, thank you, thank you.
It's me. Paparazzi, this way.

Hi.

You know, I was watching
you and Max
at practice today.

You guys have both come
a really long way.

Thanks.
Yeah.

Look, Mattie,
I figured out
who the smuggler is

and I need you to keep
an open mind.

Okay.

ANNOUNCER: And the winner
of the working group.

We can talk
about it after.

First-time competitor...
Come on, buddy.

Let's win this thing.

ANNOUNCER:
...a fan favorite
here at the Canini.

What will he do next?

The Rottweiler, Max.

And the winner
of the herding group,

a delight with a pep
in her step, the Australian
Shepherd, Daisy,

and her handler,
three-time winner,
Mattie Smith.

And there you have it.

These are the most successful
show dogs in the world.

Canine crème de la crème.
WOMAN: Thank you.

ANNOUNCER: So before the
announcement of this year's
Canini Supreme Champion,

there's just one more hurdle.

The judge's inspection.

That's perfect.
Thank you ever so much.

MATTIE: Thank you.

Good to see you, Alex.
Have you lost weight?

Fabulous condition.

Thank you.

You did it, buddy.
Bravo.

You did it. You did it.

ANNOUNCER: This is it.
The moment of truth.

Which dog will be crowned

this year's
Canini Invitational
Champion of Champions?

The winner,
Best in Show,
number one.

ANNOUNCER: This year's
Canini Invitational
champion, Daisy.

Yeah.
I did it.

She won. She really did it.

Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.

Unbelievable.
You just cost me
£3 million.

What? You were
going to sell me?
Chauncey, wait.

It was all her.
Thank you so much.

Oh, no.

All right, buddy.

We'd better warn Mattie
that Daisy's in danger.

Yeah, let's do it.
Come on.

BERNE: Miss Smith,
would you and your dog
kindly allow me

to escort you
to the press room?

Of course. Come on, baby.
Follow me.

MATTIE: Come on.
BERNE: Excuse us.

MATTIE: Here we go.
Excuse me. Mattie?

Where'd they go?
FRANK: Mattie?

Hey.

Mattie.
Sure, thank you.

Excuse me. Mattie!
Daisy!

Let me go. (BARKS)

Daisy!

Mattie, are you okay?
What happened?

Where's Daisy?

Daisy!

Daisy!

Come on.
Where is she?

Max, come on.

MIDGE: Oh, this is tragic.
Wait. What?

The love of his life
ripped out of his paws.
Thrown in a van.

Is the big chase
about to start?

Wait. What did you just say?

Hey, is the...
No, about the van.

Sorry.
Where did they go?

ALL: That way.

I never thought
I'd say this,
but I need backup.

Sure thing, Maxi.
Should we call someone?

No, you. I need
eyes in the sky.

Yes.

ALL: Pigeon PD on the case.

Regroup.
Here, take my collar.

Find the van
and drop it on top.
ALL: Yeah!

PIGEON 1: Our first case.

MIDGE: It feels like
we're real cops.

PIGEON 3: Yes.
We finally get to use
our catchphrase.

PIGEON 1: (CLEARS THROAT)
Birds of a feather...

ALL: Fight crime together!

Max, what are you waiting for?
MATTIE: Max, get in.

Hey, what happened
to your collar?

(BEEPING)

It's Max's GPS. It's moving.
But how?

No idea.
Shall we follow it?
Get in.

SPRINKLES: Bye, Max.

Bonne chance, my friends.

I'm gonna miss him so much.

We was home dogs,
you know? Tight.

He was my worst student,
you know.

Yet I have never
been more proud.

I'm proud to be a deputy
to a real cop.

Speaking of,
we must continue our duties.

Perhaps by investigating
the after-party?

Heck, yeah. I'm gonna
solve the case of
the blue frosting.

MIDGE: How are we supposed
to find an unmarked van
in all of Las Vegas?

Simple, Midge.
We'll just...

ALL: Whoa!

Okay, now it's
going that way.

No, no, no, wait.
It's all over the place.
This is nuts.

BOTH: Yeah,
I know, but this is our
only chance to save Daisy.

Hey, hey. There it is.
Pigeon PD, dive.

Eagle's Claw, go in.
MIDGE: Roger, roger,
Captain Condor.

PIGEON 3: I thought
I was Eagle's Claw.
No. You're Falcon.

I can't be Falcon.
Falcons ate my entire family.

Oh, right.
Moment of silence.

And we're back.
You can be Greg.

I like that.
I'm getting pigeon-bumps.

Okay, Greg.
Yeah.

It's time for you
to watch Midge drop
the collar on the van.

Wait. What?
Go, Midge, go.

Roger that, Captain Condor.
Take that, bad guy.

ALL: Birds of a feather
fight crime together.

It locked in.
Three blocks over.
Yeah, I can't. I can't, Max.

Left. Turn left.
MATTIE: He's on Fremont.

Turn left. Frank.
I can't, Max.

I said hang a louie.
MATTIE: He's on Fremont.

Do you not see
the buildings over there?

What is going on?
Hang a louie.

Frank.
He wants me to turn left.

(WHOOPING)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

FRANK: No, Max.
MAX: You had your chance.

Now I'm driving.

Huh. Huh?
Hey.

MATTIE: Frank!

MAX: Look out!

Whoa.

Whoa.

Sorry, ma'am.
FRANK: Sorry.

MATTIE: That's enough!

Okay, all right, it looks
like they're headed
to an airport.

Come on, Max.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Congratulations
to the champion.

I hope you enjoy your new
breeding mill in the Ukraine.

Put her with the other
merchandise, while
I get the plane ready.

I owe you one, Daisy.

SENOR GABRIEL:
The package is ready.
(CHUCKLES)

I told you to trust me.
Yeah, I'll be there.

Okay, it's in there.

Wait, Mattie.

Maybe you should
stay in here
where it's safer,

and you can call
the cops, all right?

My partner and I
are going in.
Bad boys for life.

You, stay there.
I'll deal with you later.

Hello, fellow captive.

My name is Deepak.

How long have you been here?
Too long, bitiya. Too long.

(BARKS)

All right.

(CLATTERING)

What are you
waiting for, Hooch?

Hey, Deepak.
Got you a little
appetizer. Enjoy.

Hello, my little
furry friend.

Oh.

What is this, now?

What are you doing?

Well, this just
got interesting.

Start loading the animals.
Yes, boss. I'm on it.

(DEEPAK THE TIGER GROWLS)

(SCREAMS)

Aw. Too easy.

(LAUGHS)

Hey, Berne?

No, Daisy.

Wellington Upstill.

Or should I say
Agent Nichols, FBI?

I'll take my panda back.

This is great.
Really?

Yeah.
How's that?

The justice system rarely
does anything to people
who harm animals,

but shoot a Fed
and you're gonna
get what you deserve.

For the $10 million
I'm gonna get
for the panda,

I think I'm gonna
take my chances.

(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

Who's driving the plane?

Do you know how
to fly this thing?
No.

But I am friends
with three pigeons.

DAISY: Whoa! Look out. Turn.
Uh-oh!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Stop it. Just stop it.

Come back here.
Welcome to Max Air, amigo.

Prepare for take-down.

Hey, grab the stick while I...
Not a chance.

Me and sardine-breath
have some
unfinished business.

I'm coming for you now.

Daisy, be careful.
What, not to break a nail?

Here's the kibbles.

And here's the bits.

MAX: That wasn't nice, was it?

Whoa. You're pretty good.
For a lame show dog?

Yeah, I got skills.

(SCREAMS)

Airline food
has really gone
to the dogs.

Ha-ha!

Uh-oh. We got trouble
on our tail.

(GRUNTING)

(GROANING)

(PROPELLER SPINNING)

Max, you've gotta
stop this thing.

I didn't exactly
have time to study
the owner's manual.

Mattie!

Karma! Help me.

Would that I could,
but, you know, the whole
non-violent thing.

Pups for peace.

(LING LI SQUEALS)

You really think
that you can...

You're welcome.

I had him right where
I wanted him.

Frank.

Ling Li?

Max, fetch!

Okay, but just this once.

Hang on, kid.
I'm coming.

Got you.

Uh-oh! Ah!

Max.

Nice throw, Hooch.
You did it, buddy.

You saved Ling Li.
You are amazing.

Next time, you fetch.
Good job.

You guys are all amazing.

Are you kidding?
Everyone's amazing.

Oh, buddy.

Bear tongue,
scratchy.

Oh, no. Dang!

Son of a...
You know what?

We can call the Bureau
and they'll track the plane.

Thanks, buddy.
Hey, that's what
partners are for.

This is Agent Nichols
requesting...

I'm impressed,
Mr. NYPD Officer.

You weren't bad yourself,
Miss Best in Show.

Thanks, Max.

Look, about what I said
on the rooftop...

It's okay, Max.
No. No, it's not.

Truth is I've been
disrespecting

everybody and everything
since I got here.

You, Philippe,

Frank most of all.

But everything works out
a whole lot better

when you can learn to trust
people who see the world
in a different way.

Sorry it took me so long
to figure that out.

Wow. Okay, who are you?
And what did you do
with Max?

Oh, I'm sure he'll be back
before you know it.

(GIGGLES)

Hey, what happened
to that tiger?

Tiger? What tiger?

He thought he was
gonna catch me.

(GROWLING)

How you doing?

I suggest you fasten
your seat belt.
(WHIMPERING)

(GROWLS)
(SCREAMS)

REPORTER: And now
for some happy news.

It was panda-monium
at the Beijing Zoo today,

as baby Ling Li was
reunited with her mother
after a terrifying ordeal.

After the arrest
of Gabriel Esteban,

other recently
recovered animals include

a very happy
Border Collie
named Jasper,

who was stolen
over two years
ago, a pygmy...

Good idea.
Thank you, Max.

All right, let's eat.
What is it?

It's my specialty.

It's actually the only thing
I know how to make.

It's kebabs.
All right, that's fair.

Wow. Look at us now.
Top birds on the force.

That's right, Midge.
We pretty much taught Max
everything he knows.

I kind of feel like
a father to him.

One day, future generations
of pigeons will poop
on statues of us.

Aw.
Awesome.

You know,
Daisy is safe
because of us.

The panda is safe
because of us.

The tiger is safe
because of... Whatever
happened to that tiger?

(LAUGHING)

Now, this really
is the life of Pi.

Yeah, Chief.

Okay, got it.

Come on, let's go, Max.
I'm sorry.

Exotic animal sighting.
5th and Garfield.

Okay.

Look, I'm trying to run
a business here.

I went in there
with the towels,
I don't know what I saw.

Gotcha.

All right,
I better go first.
You watch my six.

I got seniority.
Fine, but I'm older
than you.

Don't give me
a bunch of stuff
about dog years.

SPRINKLES: Max.
PHILIPPE: Maxwell.

It turns out you were
not the only undercover
cop at the show.

Hello, Max.
Persephone?

Special Agent Persephone.
Homeland Security.

I knew my little charade
would bring you here.

SPRINKLES: Plot twist.
The Jacuzzi was my idea.
Ha-ha!

Totally random, right?

You and Frank
were impressive
in Vegas,

but are you prepared
to take it to
the next level?

A team of crime fighters.

With license to bite.

I may just have
your next assignment,
darlings.

Here we go again.

Scott, I hate to
do this to you.
It's all right. Here.

I know it's your favorite
jacket, man. I'm so sorry
about that.

Did you just wipe
dog slobber on that guy?

Really, Will Arnett?

I have forgotten my line.
Pug life.

MAN: And action.

PHILIPPE: I am okay.

(BARKING)

Will, stick to
the script, please.

Two...

That is not in
the script.

What's a script?

I don't know.
I'm not an expert in
canine mental disorders.

I'm an FBI agent.

If this guy
is an FBI agent,
then I'm LEGO Batman.

(LAUGHING)

Sorry. Sorry.

That's funny.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

Give him a quick
wipe-down, Mike.
He's got a...

Aw, come on, Mike.
I don't...

(MUFFLED SPEAKING)

Okay. I'll take one
too. No.

Am I in this? Ready.

Not bad for a Papillon
from Oklahoma.

Now, this is what
being a movie star
is all about.

MAX: My bad.
Who dares to make noise?

MAX: I'm gonna
pay for that.

Max, NYPD.

I'm entering
the Panini
Instagrammable.

DIRECTOR: Cut.

I'm entering
the Goatini
Unshaveable.

DIRECTOR: Cut.

I'm entering
the Cannoli
Inspirational.

Cannoli? I cannot
work like this.

Do I have a line?

Pug life!

Oh...

(LAUGHS)

Thanks, pal.