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?
It's�payback�time.
(laughing�crazily)
(laughing�crazily)
?�Yes,�I�can�love�you,�baby�?
?�All�night�long�?
Roger:�If�you�haven't�heard,
my�nephew, Cousin�Leon's�BCR�expired.
After�lice-related election�fraud,
minor�bumblebee�pin�theft, and�some�trivial�rummaging,
he's�back�and�better�than�ever.
I�know�you�feel�some kind�of�way�about�Cousin�Leon,
but�I'm�all�about giving�people�second,
third,�fourth and�even�sixth�chances.
He's�family.
Would�ya�keep�it�the�fuck�down?
(hushed:) Uh,�while�Cousin�Leon�rests�up,
here's�Ollie�and�the�Overstayers
with�their�least-played�song,
"It's�Getting�Late�and�Your Couch�Looks�Great".
(soft�country�strings�playing)
Oh�man,�it's�been�so�hot.
Do�you�think�it's�gonna be�a�cold�winter�or�what?
Hmm.
Hey,�what�kind�of stuff�do�you�like?
Have�you�ever�tried�lawn�darts?
I�heard�pickleball�is�fun.
That's�big�in the�white�community.
Stephen�Harper,
when�does�your�baby start�doing�cool�shit,�man?
It�takes�time,�Paul.
But�I�want�to�hang�out�with�him.
Like,�I�want�a�bro and�I�want�a�baby.
I�want�baby�bro,�bro.
If�you�want�PJ�to�be�a�baby�bro,
then�you�need to�be�more�connected.
And�how am�I�supposed�to�do�that?
Well,�according�to Dr.�Tenderfeather,
babies�need�to�be�exposed to�new�experiences
in�order�to�help stimulate�brain�development.
But�I�thought�that's what�Paw�Patrol
and�the�iPad�were�for.
Get�him�outside, into�nature's�iPad.
That�is�a�stupid�idea.
Screw�you,�Steven�Harper.
We�should�let�the�baby�decide.
PJ...
where�do�you�want�to�go?
PJ:�Mama.
Well,�there�you�have�it. We're�taking�him�to�his�mom.
You're�late.
Blame�the�tides.
I'd�rather�blame�the�Cree.
Are�you�serious?
I�told�you�when�we�broke�up,
the�Cree-Ojibway rivalry�doesn't�exist�anymore.
Hmph.
Because�your�side's�losing.
Lighten�up,�matey.
I'll�lighten�up
when�I'm�finished counting�this�inventory.
Are�you�saying I�plundered�your�booty?
You�could�plunder somebody�else's�booty,�Gale.
We're�broken�up.
Heave�to. I'm�a�barge�captain,�Dean,
and�we�live by�the�barge�captain�code.
We�never�touch�the�cargo.
It's�who�me�is�and�it�is�me�who.
What�are�you,�Dr.�Seuss? You're�just�making�shit�up�now?
Just�sign�here.
Fine.
(sniffing)
Smell�you�later,�landlubber.
(truck�doors�closing)
See�that?
-�You�mean�your�flashlights? -�Flashlights?
Is�that�what you�think�those�are?
Those�are�my�tactical illumination�devices.
Right.�Sorry.
I'm�talking�about�the�paper.
That's�a�BCR�form,
and�I�took�the�liberty�of writing�the�name�"Cousin"�on�it.
But�mess�up�one�more�time,
and�all�I�have�to�do�is�write the�name�"Leon"�beside�it,
and�you're�out�of�here.
The�only�reason�I�came�back is�to�set�things�straight.
What�do�you�mean�by�that?
What�do�you�mean, what�do�I�mean?
Sounds�like�a�threat.
A�threat?
I�just�mean�Grouse�Lake�is going�to�get�what�it�deserves.
-�Well,�there�you�go�again. -�There�I�go,�what?
What�you�just�said and�how�you�said�it.
How�about�this?�When�I'm�done,
nobody�is�going�to�see�this place�the�same�way�again.
-�Holy�crap,�man. -�What?!�I'm�just�talking.
We're�done�talking,�all�right? Now�is�the�time�for�watching.
I'll�be�keeping�my�eye�on�you.
Okay.�Well... you�haven't�seen�the�last�of�me.
-�There�you�go�again. -�What?!
(breathing�heavily)
Be'b!
Not�now.�I'm�in�a�meeting.
I�tried�to�stop�him, but�he�overpowered�me.
But�your�baby�asked for�you�personally.
"Mama"�is�the�only word�he�knows.
You�can't�just�barge in�my�office
and�pass�him�off�to�me every�time�he�says�it.
But�what�am�I�supposed�to�do? He�always�asks�for�you.
And�when�I'm�with�him,
he�just�sits�there�and�stares at�me�like�some�sort�of...�baby.
Dads�connect with�their�kids,�too.
You're�the�one with�the�doodoos.
I�mean,�I've�got�doodoos, but�these�ones�are�dry.
You�don't�need�doo-doo.
You�just�need�to spend�time�with�him.
No,�that�doesn't�sound�right. Sad�Chad,�what�do�you�think?
My�house�just�flooded, so�I�think�everything�sucks.
Yeah.�Does�it�always got�to�be�about�you?
(scoffing)
Just�take�him�to�the�park.�Now.
Fine,�I'll�go!�Come�on!
(sighing) Sorry,�Sad�Chad.�Where�were�we?
I�just�lost�my�shoe.
One... Missing�box.
Three.
Damn�it,�I�knew�it! She�plundered�my�booty!
Hey,�Dean,�quick�question.
Better�be,�man. We're�at�war�with�the�Cree.
Where�do�you keep�your�fertilizer?
Oh,�it's�down�the�aisle,
by�the�accordions and�the�weighted�dice.
Thanks.
I'm�doing�something big�for�the�community,
and�no�one is�gonna�see�it�coming.
What�do�you�mean�by�that?
Oh,�you'll�find�out.
Cool,�man.
Fertilizer?
He's�up�to�something.
Dad's�connecting with�their�kids?
Pfft!�As�if!
Show�me�one�dad�that's connecting�with�their�kid!
There's�two�right�there.
Fucking�lucky.
And�they�don't even�have�doodoos.
That's�some�strange�voodoo doodoo�right�there,�man.
That's�not�doodoo�voodoo. That's�pure,�uncut�connection.
The�good�stuff. You'll�get�there.
Ni�paapaa�need�me�some�of�that.
(knocking)
Where's�the�cereal�box,�Gail?
Well,�I�don't�know,�Dean.
Did�you�check all�the�way�up�your�ass?
Yeah,�I�did,�actually.
-�You�did? -�Look�here.
One,�two,�missing�box,�three.
Wait�a�second.
"Three"�rhymes�with�"Cree".
You�think�I�took�one�cereal�box?
Well,�it�didn't�grow�legs and�fuck�off�on�its�own.
So,�you're�saying I�broke�the�barge�captain�code.
You�better�apologize.
No�way,�man. We�Ojibway,�we�never�back�down.
Then,�I'm�calling�an�embargo.
Oh,�yeah?�What�is�that? Like,�Cree�for,�like,�stealing?
No,�you�scallywag.
I'm�done�delivering�to�your store�until�ye�spill�an�apology.
Embargo,�eh? Why�don't�you�embargo�to�hell?
I�thought�I�was�already�there.
Mn'ehhh!
Awas!
So,�your�old�ladies�make�you bring�your�kids�here,�too?
What?�Our�partners don't�tell�us�what�to�do.
What?
We�do�this�out�of�the sheer�love�of�our�kids.
Jasper, can�I�have�a�healthy�snack?
Of�course,�sweetie.
You�let�your�kids call�you�by�your�first�name?
Dad�is�a�title.
Jasper�is�who�I�am.
It�removes�the�power�imbalance.
Are�you�saying�you�haven't removed�the�power�imbalance?
What?�I�mean,�I�remove power�imbalances�all�the�time.
Yeah,�PJ�doesn't call�him�anything.
He�only�knows�'Mama'.
So,�what's�your parenting�philosophy?
You�do�have�one,�right?
Oh,�that's�easy. I�do�all�the�work,
so�Paul�can�play�video�games.
I�can�speak�for�myself.
Stephen�Harper�does�all�the work,�so�I�can�play�video�games.
Just�kidding!
(chuckling�nervously) Just�kidding.
So,�you're�a�couple.
-�Sort�of. -�No,�we're�not�a�couple.
Stephen�Harper�is�my�partner's ex�and�my�baby's�a�sperm�donor.
-�So,�he's�the�real�dad. -�No.
He's�just�some�weirdo that�just�follows�me�around.
In�fact, get�away�from�me,�you�weirdo.
Now,�if�we're�talking parenting�philosophies,
I�only�listen�to�Tenderfeather.
You�might�have heard�of�him...�her.
You�read�Dr.�Tenderfeather?
Why�didn't�you�just�say�so?
Does�it�even�need�to�be�said?
She's�a�cheat�code for�parenting,
if�you�play�video�games,
which�I�don't�because�I'm so�busy�watching�my�kid.
Well,�we�have�daddy-and-me get-togethers�every�week.
You�should�come�on�by.
Hear�that,�Stephen�Harper? They're�called�"daddy-and-me",
not�"weirdo-and-me".
(kids�and�dads�laughing)
(all�laughing)
(laughing)
Look�at�you.�You�look�so�much like�those�cool�dads.
Yep.�I�look�real�cool.
So,�when�are�we going�back�to�the�park?
What?�You're�staying�right�here.
I'm�going�to�the�park. Cool�dads�only.
-�(stroller�rattling) -�You�know�what?
Stay�close,�but�not�too�close. Just�in�case�PJ�shits�himself.
Boy!
Heard�your�business�is�tanking.
Yeah,�man.
I'm�beginning�to�think�I'm taking�this�Cree-Ojibway
rivalry�too�seriously.
What?�Really?
I'm�thinking�you're�not taking�it�seriously�enough.
Man,�I'm�running�out of�shit�to�sell.
Daga�Sanaa!
Sometimes�you�gotta�lose a�battle�to�win�a�war.
You�stop�fighting,�they're�gonna take�more�than�this�store.
They're�gonna�take the�entire�Ojibway�nation.
You�gotta�dig�in�deep.
You�gotta�stand�your�ground.
We're�counting�on�you.
(whistling) There�he�is.
Now,�that's�a�dad.
Is�that�tech-fleece?
Yeah.�I�pretty�much�wear this�every�single�day,
except�for�yesterday�when I�met�you�for�the�first�time.
Yep,�I�need�full�range�of motion�when�I'm�bending�over,
wiping�jeets,�picking�up�toys.
Gotta�stay�loose�for�all�those connections�I�make�with�my�baby.
That's�a�beautiful approach�to�parenting.
Is�that�Tenderfeather?
Why,�good�ear,�Jasper.
Oh.�Which,�uh,
Tenderfeather�book�is�that�from?
You...�don't�know�which Tenderfeather�book�that�is?
Um,�I�just,�uh... (exhaling�sharply)
Sorry�about�my�friend. He's�hungry.
It�must�be�snack�time.
Time�for�kale�chips!
Here�you�go.
Yeah. (chuckling)
You�too,�PJ. It's�your�favourite,
Little�Fatties�Cheesy�Balls.
But�not�too�much,�right,�fellas?
-�Is�this�some�kind�of�joke? -�'Cause�we're�not�laughing.
No.�What?�Who�did�this?
It�was�probably that�weirdo,�Stephen�Harper!
Do�you�think?
He�must�be�close.
Tenderfeather�says�to remove�people�like�that
from�your sacred�circle�of�trust.
Yeah,�and�I�would�have,�but�I was�so�busy�making�connections.
There�he�is�right�now!
You�got�the�stuff?
Yeah,�we�got�the�stuff.
Barrels,�pipes,�gasoline.
Nice�work,�boys.
You�got�our�stuff?
Barrels,�pipes,�gasoline,
plus�fertilizer?
I�knew�it. Something�big�is�going�down.
So,�what's�this�all�for,�anyway?
Oh,�you'll�find�out.
What�do�you�mean�by�that?
It�means�you'll�find�out.
Holy�heck�boy, what�do�you�think�it�means?
But�why�did�he�have to�say�it�like�that?
Everybody�needs�to�lighten�up.
How�did�you�know�I�was�here?
I�followed�you�here... because�I'm�a�weirdo.
Stay�out�of my�sacred�circle,�bro!
Yes,�I�will�do�that. Do�you�still�need�me�nearby?
I'm�still�sensing�he's�not�fully out�of�your�sacred�circle.
I'm�sensing�that�too,�Carson.
If�you�really�mean�it, throw�the�cheese�balls�at�him.
I�think�he�gets�the�point.
Throw�the�cheese�balls.
?
(grunting)
Paul,�why?
(Carson�chuckling)
But�why?
Nice�work,�Dad.
Tenderfeather�would�be�proud.
Shelves�looking a�little�sparse�here,�bucko.
Where's�all�the�loot?
I�don't�know what�you're�talking�about.
Oh,�really? Can�I�get�some�flour?
We're�out.
-�Sugar? -�You�know�what?�We're�out.
Just�say�sorry,�lad.
I�got�all�the�food�I�need,�lass.
You�think�you�can�take�the Ojibway�down�single-handedly?
Hah!�Too�bad. The�land�has�all�I�need.
Heh. Picked�these�berries�myself.
Took�me�all�morning.
There's�enough in�there�for�one�pancake.
Well,�I�be�claiming�it�all.
Hilda:�What�is�it? Some�kind�of�ransom�note?
That's�exactly�what�it�is.
Made�a�few�of�those�in�my�day.
Looks�like�an�invitation.
See?�"Come�out�for a�big�surprise�later�today.
"It's�gonna�blow�you�all�away."
Wow.�Sounds�like�a�banger.
I�don't�like�this�one�bit.
Shut�up,�Lips.
Take�a�day�off�from narc-ing,�will�ya?
Yes.�Yes.
Very�good.
They're�not�gonna know�what�hit�'em.
Mud�pies,�eh?
Yeah.�Yeah,�man. Pregnant�women�love�'em.
Don't�you�think�you're�taking this�Cree-Ojibway�rivalry
a�little�too�seriously?
Huh. That's�a�trick�question,�right?
You�act�like�the�entire Ojibway�nation�is�on�the�line.
But�you�said�you�hated�the�Cree.
What?
My�third�and my�fifth�wife�were�Cree.
I�got�Cree�kids. Why�would�I�say�that?
But�you�did�say�that!
I�don't�know�what�goes�on in�that�head�of�yours.
So,�what?�You're�saying I�should�apologize�to�Gail?
Yes!
You�know,�I�stopped worrying�about�the�Cree
when�the�white�people�showed�up.
It's�the�Sioux you�gotta�worry�about.
Wow...
You�should�have�seen his�weirdo�face
when�you�hit�him with�the�cheese�ball.
He�looked�like�he�was�gonna�cry.
Yeah.
That�was�some�pretty sweet�ball-on-ball�violence.
(flatulence)
(baby�wailing)
Might�want�to�change�his�diaper.
Nah,�he's�good. He'll�just�cry�it�off,�man.
It's�actually�how�they gain�their�independence.
Come�on,�I�thought�you�guys were�big�Tenderfeather�fans.
-�(baby�wailing) -�We�are,
but�you�better�change�him.
Oh�my�God,�you�change�him.
(baby�wailing)
I'm�just�kidding.�Or�am�I?
(baby�wailing)
No,�I'm�just�kidding.
(baby�wailing)
Phew,�kids!
You�see, kids�are�just�like�cars.
-�(baby�wailing) -�Cars�have�tires.
Kids�have�diapers.
It's�pretty�much�the same�thing,�right,�guys?
(baby�wailing)
Hey,�you�guys�remember when�I�was�funny�earlier?
He�doesn't�know�what�he's�doing.
-�Yes,�I�do! -�He�doesn't�know.
It's�like�he's�never spent�any�time�with�his�son.
(both�chuckling)
Kids,�get�over�here�and laugh�at�this�fake�dad.
-�(all�laughing) -�(grunting)
Stephen�Harper!
(all�laughing)
This�guy's�such�a�bad�dad, he�needs�a�second�dad�to�help.
Is�that�your...�manny?
(all�laughing)
Listen,�Paul.
These�guys�might�be up�on�the�latest�fads,
but�they're�just a�bunch�of�mean�dads
who�are�just�gonna raise�a�bunch�of�mean�kids.
You�don't�want�that�for�PJ.
Stay�out�of�this,�Manny.
This�manny's�gotta take�care�of�two�babies,
the�big�one�and�the�little�one.
I'm�sorry,�cheese�ball, but�these�cheese�balls�messed...
with�the�wrong�cheese�ball.
You�wouldn't�dare.
Run,�Stephen�Harper! Grab�PJ!
Get�him!
(groaning)
Dean,�I'm�just�gonna�say�it,
I'm�sorry.
I�did�stiff�you�on one�box�of�Ooh�Wee�Ohhs.
I�must�have�fell�off in�the�barge.
No,�Gail.�I'm�sorry.
I�broke�the�barge�captain�code. Losing�your�loot?
If�you'll�excuse�me, I'm�gonna�go�walk�the�plank.
If�there's�anyone�walking planks,�it's�this�guy.
I'm�the�only�one�keeping�the Cree-Ojibway�rivalry�alive.
But�the�code...
Forget�the�code,�Gail...
and�forget�the�rivalry.
Aye-aye,�Captain.
Hey,�you�hungry? Wanna�split�a�mud�pie?
I�made�it�myself.
Sure,�but�I�can't�stay�too�long.
Damn�Cree�got�another�one.
Thanks,�everyone, for�being�here.
I�just�want�you�to�know
that�I've�been�plotting this�for�a�long�time.
I�smell�gasoline!
And�now�that�I've�got you�all�here�in�one�place,
you're�finally�going to�get�what's�coming.
Blindfolds�off.
(screaming)
Why�are�you�screaming�like�that?
That's�what�I�do�when I�see�something�so�beautiful.
(crowd�gasping)
I�know�I've�messed�up over�the�decades,
but�think�of this�community�garden
as�a�symbol�for�how I�want�to�make�things�good.
Everyone,�get�down! There's�a�bomb!
Ho'leh!�What�are�you�doing,�man?
It's�here�somewhere. Where�is�it?
Lips,�man,�give�it�a�rest.
Where's�the�bomb?
The�only�one bombing�here�is�you.
(all�laughing)
Guy�was�looking�for�a�boom and�all�he�got�was...�bloom.
(all�laughing)
(laughing) Be'b!�You�should've�seen�it!
They�were�kicking our�asses�real�good,
but�I�didn't�even�cry�once, right,�Stephen�Harper?
Stephen:�That's�right.
They'd�still�be kicking�our�asses�now,
but�I�pretended�to�be�dead.
Yeah,�they�thought they�killed�Stephen�Harper
and�they�ran�away�scared.
(both�laughing)
(coughing)
Shke!
You�could�put that�under�your�pillow.
Paul:�You�hear�that,�PJ?
Oh,�PJ.
Who's�a�good�boy? Oh,�da�little�boy...
Aww,�my�little�PJ.
Uh,�that's�not�PJ.
Oh,�li'l�PJ,
he's�a�cutie�pie.
Rose:�That's�a�lamp.
I�don't�know�if�this�is the�concussion�speaking,
but�I�would�take�a thousand�kicks�to�the�head,
if�it'd�mean�doing�the�right thing�for�my�baby,
Stephen�Harper,�and�my�family.
Okay,�let's�get�you to�the�nursing�station.
?�I,�I�will�fight�?
?�Forever�?
?�You�know�?
?�I�will�fight�?
?�Forever�?
?�I�will�fight,�yes�?
?�Forever�?
?�Father...�?
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