Original subtitles

"Boy!"

"Boy!"

"I came home and brightened the place"

"Get up, lower the bass and increase the beat"

"Celebrate my arrival with fire clapping, and ululations"

- "I am El Kabeer" - "He is El Kabeer"

"Money, arms, power and an army of 3000 men''

"A hundred times stronger than a bear I roar like a lion"

"As proud as an eagle sly like a fox"

"Mix all of these together and you will have El Kabeer"

- "A dangerous mix" - "A dangerous mix"

"I drank camel milk as a kid not formula or juice"

"That's why I am tough, rough and dangerous"

"Professional PlayStation gamer and can beat any small kid"

- "Or a big kid" - "Or a big kid"

"I can rule any people no matter how many"

"It doesn't matter if they are rich or poor"

"Even if they are scholars, illiterates, or college kids"

"They have to obey me or they will disappear''

"Objection!"

"Yeah"

"Yeah"

"Come on! I really love this country like the fat kid loves the cake"

"And I'll be the new Mayor please just give yourself a break"

"You can't even battle me one on one Mr. Fake"

"My rap is like an ocean while your rap is like a lake"

"Please talk to me in Arabic if you don't mind brother"

"Don't mimic Eminem 50 Cent or Soulja Boy"

"If we compared our Rap to the breeds of dogs"

"mine would be Pitbull and yours will be a stray called Roy"

- "Listen, El Kabeer" - "No, you shut up and listen"

"I am a knight and can lift heavier than you can"

"No way you can beat me no matter how hard you try"

"Even in the Rap challenge I'll always have the final word"

"An apple tastes bitter when you eat it after chocolate"

''End of story!''

"Boy!"

"Episode 6"

- Hello? - "Yes, Hamed..."

- Hamed? - "You're not answering, are you ignoring me?"

- You have the wrong number, man - "Listen, don't play games with me"

"This won't work on me at all! Where's the money you owe me, Hamed?"

Why are you so dense, man? I'm saying that you have the wrong number!

You have the wrong number don't you understand Arabic?

"Number wrong!"

God!

"Did you hang up on me, Hamed?"

Still going with the Hamed talk! There's nobody here named Hamed!

- You have the wrong number - "Listen here..."

"It's the same excuse every time I call you Hamed, this won't work on me!"

"Either you pay your debts or I'll take matters into my own hands!"

You know what, you should do just that!

You people are idiots!

This one's a different number, hello?

- "Good evening" - Good evening to you!

- "I'm Hamed, did anyone call for me?" - You must be joking!

You're joking! Who are you, Mr. Comedian?

"You have a great sense of humor, Kabeer! I'm only kidding, man!"

- Who is this? - "I'm Ragab Al-Hout!"

- Hout? What? - "I'm your long-lost friend!"

- "Your father didn't tell you about me?" - Oh, yes...

yes, please excuse me, sir...

I was sleeping, it's quite late! Everybody's asleep now

"Late? It's barely three in the morning!"

"The day still hasn't started!"

How can I help you, sir?

"I want to see you, brother! I miss you!"

"I haven't seen you since you were a child"

- "I used to change your diapers, too..." - There's no need to go into details, stop!

- What can I do for you? - "I need you to swing by my office"

"so we can discuss some business matters"

- Okay, when? - "How about tomorrow?"

- Sure! - "Okay, I'll wait for you, then..."

- "talk to you later!" - See you!

You're an unbearable man!

Hamed, Hamed

Kabeer!

- What is it, woman? - There was someone on the phone?

Yes, there was someone on the phone!

Go back to sleep!

It looks like I also won't be able to sleep

I'll go watch Spacetoon!

El Kabeer is here, Mr. Ragab

- Tell him to come in - Okay

Come on in, sir

God! Good evening, Mr. Ragab

Welcome, my precious boy

you look exactly like your late father

- That's okay, sir - It's true what they say...

"One never truly dies if he has children" nor did he ever play soccer!

What is this? My dad always spoke about you

Listen here, son, your dad and I had some outrageous adventures

please, have a seat, Kabeer!

Welcome!

- What did you do, son? - I haven't done anything

Don't worry, we're like family here!

- You're the one doing it! - Excuse me, I have a bit of a tummy-ache

God grant you good health! It's gases!

Did you fall for it, Kabeer? It's a game I have on my phone!

I like to use it to mess with people I like to prank others

I always get them, too!

You're very light-hearted, huh? You seem to be quite fond of puns!

What a disaster!

So, sir, what can I do for you?

Actually, I didn't call you here for business I'm planning for us to have a fun evening!

Sorry, I'm married so I can't stay out late I need to be back in the village by tonight

Why are you serious, who do you take after? Your father was the life of the party!

Bless you, sir, bless you! We must not speak ill of the dead!

- What can I do for you, sir? - Here's the thing...

your late father and I started a company ten years ago

I used to send him his yearly profits regularly

and now, I want to send you your yearly profits, too

if you want to reach an different agreement then, I'm all up for it

I truly don't know what to say! You're a rare breed, truly

these days, brothers are betraying brothers! I'm willing to do whatever you see fit

Don't say that, Kabeer! You're like a son to me

you remind me of my loved ones, Kabeer!

Take a couple of cigarettes from this container

I remind you of...

What's this now, sir?

Loosen up, Kabeer, why are you tense?

- You electrocute me, then tell me to relax! - How is your brother, Johnny?

Johnny? Do you know Johnny?

It seems you got on well with my dad, then!

We spent our lives together, Kabeer! Wait, I have some pictures of your dad

you'll love these

- Yes? - "Mr. Ragab, Miss Tuna's waiting outside"

Tuna's cute, pretty, and I love her

as you know, Kabeer, you can't leave Tuna waiting or it will go bad!

Really? That means you shouldn't keep her waiting!

- You're joking with your dad's friend - I was just trying to get in the mood!

I'm just kidding!

Play with this until I come back

He appears to be out of his mind!

What a disaster!

This is a big problem!

- I think you don't understand a thing - No, I don't

This is the biggest prank I played on your dad

one day, 25 years ago...

25 years? How?

- 15 years ago... - That also doesn't make sense

One day, simply, I saw your dad heading into my office

- "Come in, sir" - "How are you, Salwa?"

"I'm good, sir! What would you like to drink?"

"Since you'll be the one making it..."

"I'd like a strong, latent cup of coffee that will keep me awake for hours"

- "You got it, sir!" - "I appreciate you, dear"

"listen, use Ragab's own coffee beans don't use the one reserved for guests"

- "You're not just a guest, sir!" - "Oh, you just get it effortlessly"

"we've fought many wars together"

- "Go!" - "Welcome, welcome..."

- "welcome, Kabeer!" - "Ragab, my bad company''

- "The vice king!" - "Don't you ever stop cracking jokes, man?"

- "Stop joking around!" - "Where have you been these days?"

- "I'm quite busy!" - "Are you?"

"What if I tell you that lady luck is on your side?"

- "What does that mean?" - "You're invited to a birthday party today"

"a friend of mine is throwing her birthday party at her cousin's villa in Mansouria"

"What do you say? Are you coming with me?"

"I would've liked to, but you know I don't like dancing and all these silly things"

"busting moves on the dancefloor and whatnot I just don't like that type of thing!"

"I like to get straight to the point!"

"I know that you do that, always!"

"That's why, she's hosting a private event"

- "How so?" - "It will be me, her, yourself..."

- "and her cousin!" - "Why didn't you say so at first?"

"If that's how it is, then let's do it!"

- "You're a bad company!" - "I'm a bad apple!"

"Stop cracking jokes, please!"

"What now, Ragab? We've been here for two hours"

- "Aren't they coming down?" - "No, they're going up!"

- "Quit joking around, I beg you!" - "Why? The night is still young!"

"They're touching up their makeup you know how women are with makeup!"

"Makeup? They would've finished building an apartment by now!"

"They still need to paint it!"

"Quiet, they're here!"

- "Who is she?" - "That's my friend"

"Great work, it's like a good omen heading our way!"

- "Who's that tractor trailing behind?" - "That's her cousin"

"That one's mine, Ragab? Is she my date?"

"Welcome, welcome!"

"Welcome, have a seat"

"welcome, girls"

- "How are you, girls?" - "Hey, Ruru, how are you?"

"I'm good, what's that?"

- "What?" - "You've lost a lot of weight"

- "You're so naughty!" - "Let me introduce you to my lifelong friend"

"El Kabeer Awy Awy! I've known him since forever!"

"He was my partner in every mistake I've ever made!"

"Kabeer, let me introduce you to Shahweer"

- "Hi!" - "Welcome!"

- "and Mahitaz" - "What?"

"I just told you her name! Happy birthday, my love"

"Thank you, my dear "

- "We love each other so much!" - "They're so cute together!"

- "You look great, Mahitaz!" - "Thanks!"

- "Ragab, point me to the bathroom!" - "Wait, I'll take you!"

- "Let go of my arm!" - "Okay, I'll take you"

"I'm no stranger to this house come on, Kabeer!"

- "Stop laughing!" - "Okay, I won't laugh anymore"

"Why, did you see how strong he is? He appears to be in great health!"

"Very, very strong!"

- "What's this, Ragab?" - "What, Kabeer?"

"The girl's nice, cute, and very agreeable"

"Are you playing tricks on me? Do you want to prank me?"

"Prank you? Are you upset because she is fat!"

"Just so you know, Kabeer the fatter the better!"

"Why would I care if she was fat? It's not like I'm going to marry her"

"This kind of girls no longer exists it's like Damietta old furniture"

"large boards of wood, upholstery made of cotton not the plywood they use in China nowadays"

- "I don't care, I want to leave right now" - "I don't understand what you say!"

- "I want to leave right now!" - "Okay!"

"It's okay, I won't say anything listen to me..."

"we'll stay for half an hour no matter what, and then, we'll leave"

- "is that okay?" - "It's okay"

"but listen, I have one condition you won't leave me alone for a second!"

"Not even for a second! But we have to go back because we kept the girls waiting for long"

"like a fermented pie!"

"You're a silly man! we should just go along with you"

"oh, dear!"

"We finally woke up!"

"Excuse us, girls we kept you waiting"

"Never mind, dear Ragab!"

- "bless you" - "bless me?!"

"Shahweer!"

"Come with me I want to give you your birthday present"

"What is this, Ragab? Sit!"

"Okay, it's alright I won't give her the present, watch the time..."

"I'll be back in five minutes, deal?"

- "Deal!" - "deal or dear!"

"Oh, god! How silly you are, man!"

- "Come closer! Come closer!" - "Let go, girl! Let go, girl!"

"So, tell me, where are you from?"

- "I'm from Egypt countryside" - "Wow!"

"Are you a villager? I love the people of the countryside!"

"I love southern people! Which village in the countryside are you from?"

- "It's some village" - "I got it, what is it called?"

"I know all the villages"

"It's Al Mazareeta"

- "What?" - "Al Mazareeta"

"Is there a village called Al Mazareeta? Is that even a name?"

"Oh, dear! Why are you so surprised?"

- "What does Mahitaz mean?" - "No!"

"It's a Turkish name it means a feminine flower!"

"No, I'm serious, I'm half from ''Turkey''"

"You mean half from meat!"

- "You're so funny! You're so funny!" - "Stop it!"

- "Seriously, my grandmother came from Turkey" - "What are you talking about?"

"My grandmother came to Alexandria from Turkey at the time of King Farouk"

"I lived there until I'm 16"

- "I spend my childhood there" - "Oh, really!"

"I wish you knew! I always wore mini-skirts and short dresses and decolletage"

- "and the hot shorts of course!" - "Oh, God, save us!"

- "Save us!" - "I was known in Alexandria..."

- "as The Belle of Alexandria" - "You mean Alexandria Port!"

"The Tram of Alexandria"

- "Ragab! Take your friend away from me" - "Are you slandering me, girl?"

- "Ragab, your friend is driving me crazy" - "Let go of me, girl!"

"So, man I saw those guys in the car..."

"they started to annoy me and hit on me and they almost got me"

"I though that I must do something I searched under the next seat"

"and I took a crowbar, do you know it?"

- "I do! I do!" - "I opened the door, got off the car"

"and told them that they are definitely after me"

"and that they are trying to hit on me!"

"Those guys must have been drunk or something"

"I looked and I saw a cop car passing by"

"so, I started calling them again and again"

"they didn't answer but I didn't need them"

"Have mercy on me, girl! I feel like you're inside my head!"

"Really? Am I inside your head?"

- "It means that you're moved!" - "Why are you twisting every word I say?"

- "Calm down, girl! Calm down" - "You're so quiet"

- "you're so quiet!" - Let go, girl!"

"Oh, dear! This song is so good! Please, let's dance"

- "Let go! Let go! Let go of me" - "Let's dance!"

- "Help me up!" - "I need a lift to help you"

- "I need a crane!" - "Give me a hand up"

- "Give me your hand! Give me your hand!" - "Easy!"

- "Easy! Wait" - "Come on!"

"Come on, get up! I wish you would die now!"

"Wait!"

"So, you really slipped and fell down and almost died!"

"I thought that was a part of your dance and that you were really into it"

"Are you making that sound again? I'll leave you right now!"

- "It's alright!" - "How beautiful you are! You're dry now"

- "my robe looks really great on you!" - "Thank you, ma'am, thanks for the robe"

"I want to tell you that you were like a fish in the pool"

- "I grab it and it slips out of my hand!" - "Calm down, girl!"

- "Calm down!" - "Stop it, Kabeer! Don't ruin the day!"

- "It's a day of my life!" - "Get out! Get out of here, I'm sick of you!"

"Alright, I'm really going because I want to show Shahweer my new car"

- "Really? Did you buy a new car?" - "Of course"

"it has 6 cylinder and it's German the interior is wildly wide"

"like a wild cat"

"cat gone wild!"

- "You're so funny!" - "Such a silly man!"

"You're so funny! You're so funny, I can't believe that!"

"I want to tell you that you're dancing well and moving to the left and right and back"

"what a move! What a dance! You looked just like Michael Jackson!"

"Come on, girl I almost fell down and died!"

"God forbid! Don't speak like that"

- "What is it?" - "I have a bad luck with men"

"the fist man I got to know was my cousin Jasser"

"and he died while I was fooling around with him just like now"

- "Did he fall in the pool?" - "No, he fell from the bridge in the coast''

- "Oh, God, save us!" - "but it was fine"

"that might happen to any girl fooling around with her boyfriend"

"It's okay, ignore the details I feel sick already"

"But thank God I married a good man called Said Single"

- "Did he die, too?" - "No, God forbid!"

"But he can't speak or move or do anything he's just breathing"

- "What did you do to him, girl?" - "I didn't do anything"

"it was our first day after marriage and I like to turn in bed..."

"This is enough! May he rest in peace! You ran over him!"

- "I didn't mean it! I was just shifting around" -"It wasn't your fault"

"he's the stupid one, he can't stand in front of a train and expect not to get hurt"

"so, I decided to learn from the past and get two beds in the room"

"so me and my third husband would turn around in bed easily"

- "Did you get married again?" - "Yes, man"

"he's Sobhi Al-Bishbaishi I hope he'll be released soon"

"Can you believe that? Since it's your birthday your hair looks so great tonight!"

"Thank you, dear!"

"Can you believe it? Since it's your birthday your eyes are more beautiful than ever"

- "Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder" - "Can you believe it? Since it's your birthday"

"your lips are more beautiful than ever!"

- "What a disaster!" - "What is it? Who's in the car?"

- "He's Mahitaz's brother" - "So what? What does her brother want?"

"He's a bad guy what brought him here out of the blue?"

"Out of the blue? It seems like it will turn into red!"

''Hide me!''

- "Mr. Nidal!" - "Who is that?"

- "He's my brother" - "Your brother!"

- "You dirty animal!" - "Don't get me wrong!"

"He's the new gardener and we were talking business"

- "so, we've done nothing" - "Is he the gardener?"

- "Yes!" - "You slut!''

- "And you, too!" - "Hold it right there!"

- "You don't know me yet!" - "Who are you?"

"I'm the one who will beat you"

"I'm El Kabeer Awy Awy Awy''

That's it, man your father had two options...

either he goes to jail or he marries her

- So, he went to jail - Of course not! He married her

- Alas! - Why? He married her for a week and got divorce

What is the matter with my father? Whenever he was free, he married someone

It was the simplest marriage in his life!

- One day, your father... - That's enough, enough!

That's enough, man for the sake of your father, enough!

- You're discrediting my father - What?

- It means putting him in a bad position - Yes, I know, I know that

- What are you saying? - I'm just kidding!

It's alright, man, this is in the past now listen, remember, while you're going out

go to the accountant check on your money and the papers you need

Thank you very much, boss

But I can't let you leave feeling sad

stay here! I'll order a cup of coffee and you can have a cigarette, take a cigarette, man

No, I don't want coffee but I can use a cigarette, may I...

damn you and your jokes!

How silly!

Subtitled by: eArabization