Original subtitles

"Boy!"

"Boy!"

"I came home and brightened the place"

"Get up, lower the bass and increase the beat"

"Celebrate my arrival with fire clapping, and ululations"

- "I am Al Kabeer" - "He is Al Kabeer"

"Money, arms, power and an army of 3000 men''

"A hundred times stronger than a bear I roar like a lion"

"As proud as an eagle sly like a fox"

"Mix all of these together and you will have Al Kabeer"

- "A dangerous mix" - "A dangerous mix"

"I drank camel milk as a kid not formula or juice"

"That's why I am tough, rough and dangerous"

"Professional PlayStation gamer and can beat any small kid"

- "Or a big kid" - "Or a big kid"

"I can rule any people no matter how many"

"It doesn't matter if they are rich or poor"

"Even if they are scholars, illiterates, or college kids"

"They have to obey me or they will disappear''

"Objection!"

"Yeah"

"Yeah"

"Come on! I really love this country like the fat kid loves the cake"

"And I'll be the new Mayor please just give yourself a break"

"You can't even battle me one on one Mr. Fake"

"My rap is like an ocean while your rap is like a lake"

"Please talk to me in Arabic if you don't mind brother"

"Don't mimic Eminem 50 Cent or Soulja Boy"

"If we compared our Rap to the breeds of dogs"

"mine would be Pitbull and yours will be a stray called Roy"

- "Listen, Al Kabeer" - "No, you shut up and listen"

"I am a knight and can lift heavier than you can"

"No way you can beat me no matter how hard you try"

"Even in the Rap challenge I'll always have the final word"

"An apple tastes bitter when you eat it after chocolate"

''End of story!''

"Boy!"

"Episode 2"

What do you mean, Kabeer?

As I told you!

They searched his room and found nothing

So, Thomas is not a spy!

Mr. Muhsen didn't explain much to me

he said that he might be a spy but has taken precautions

they'll continue their investigations

he also said: "Kabeer, keep an eye on him"

"if you see anything suspicious call me right away"

See? That means he's a spy!

Why are you so obsessed with this and insisting that he's a spy?

You're driving me crazy go to hell!

I'm leaving!

I'm sure that there is something behind this

Mr. Thomas! Mr. Thomas!

Mr. Thomas!

What the hell are you doing, boy?

- Good morning, Kabeer! - Terrible morning!

Where is Mr. Thomas?

- What do you want from him? - He has got a very important letter

and I brought it to him

- What is this letter about? - I don't know, Kabeer

he asked me to go to the post office everyday

and once this letter arrives I should get it for him right away

- Give me this letter - Ok, but Mr. Thomas asked me to give it to him

I'm sure that I couldn't hear you well I'm sure!

Wait a second

- say that again! - Say what? I didn't say anything

- What did you say? - I swear, I didn't say anything

- No, you did - I swear, I didn't say a word

- You did, boy! - I swear, I didn't!

- You did! - I didn't say anything!

"Thank you so much, son"

"Didn't I tell you to stay put?"

- "Jumaa!" - "What?"

"Where were you? I was worried about you"

- Hadeya! - What?

I caught Hagras taking this letter to Thomas

he said that Thomas asked him to get it right to him as soon as it arrives

Did you see, Kabeer? I told you!

What the hell did you tell me? We didn't even open it to see what's inside

since he can't wait to receive it so, this letter is so important

I'm sure this letter is from the Big House

- The Big House? - Yes!

The High Command

What high and what low? You're talking like Tayseer Fahmi

give me this letter now, let's open it without him noticing and see what's inside

How would you open it without making him notice?

You have to trust me, Kabeer!

How smart!

Give it to me!

Oh my God!

It's all in English

we won't understand a word

Do you think these words are the real letter?

That would be so novice

I'm sure that we can't see the real words sent to him in this letter simply

So, how could we see them, Korombo?

With 3D glasses?

It must be written with invisible ink

- How can we read it then? - It's simple! Give me this!

Take off the Kettle

Here we go! What are you doing, dummy?

I'll just get it close to the fire and invisible words will show up immediately

- Give it to me! Yes, I can - Kabeer, you can't do this!

You opened it and I'll get it near fire

Ok, well, if I'll get it near the fire...

will the words show up in English or in Arabic?

It's the same, Kabeer! If there are invisible words...

that means he's a spy!

You cow! You crafty cow!

Let's see!

- Be careful! - Nothing is showing up

I'll get it closer

- Be careful, Kabeer! - Don't worry! Don't worry!

This procedure needs an expert!

In addition to sense and...

What did you do, Kabeer?

I didn't mean it! I'm only human!

- What are we going to do now? - Listen to me, woman!

You burned it and you'll fix it!

This is not my business!

Mickey's magazine in Arabic is so weird!

They call Donald Duck Batoot!

What is this? They wrote boom, Trak, and Tak to indicate hitting

Alright, Johnny! If you don't like it, don't read it

I'll stop reading and just watch pictures to understand the story

What are you doing? Go up and work in your room

No, I can't there is no signal there, it's better here

- Thomas! - Yes, Hadeya!

You've got a letter and I put it on the table behind you

What? Really?

- This is from the CFA - Really?

CIA?

What is this? Why is it burned?

- From the heat, I guess - What? How the letter is burned...

- inside an envelope, and the envelope is fine? - So what?

Where is the miracle in that?

A letter is burned and it's inside a fine envelope!

Where is the miracle? Why is it weird? I don't get you

Ok, alright! What should I do now?

Just read what's written on the sides! You'll understand something, don't exaggerate!

The professor wants me to send him all photos and information I gathered

so, he can put it in my file as soon as possible

Why the rush? You can't do all that

I'll try my best for a couple of days

it's clear that it's getting serious now

- Kabeer! Kabeer! - What's going on?

I was right!

Thomas works with the American Intelligence

American Intelligence? How did you know that?

I heard him saying that the letter is from the CIA

and CIA's translation is American Intelligence

Are you sure that this is the right translation?

I'm sure as hell, Kabeer! All American action films' actors work for it

What a disaster!

- And there is something else, Kabeer - What is it?

- Your brother, Johnny, works with Thomas - How is that possible?

Thomas told him that they have to send all the photos and information

but Johnny said they don't have enough time and that it's getting serious now

No, no! No, Hadeya!

My brother, Johnny would never betray his country

There must be some sort of miscommunication

Calm down, Kabeer! Maybe, temptations were stronger than his will

What temptations? He has everything!

He has money his health is good

and he has just bought the last version of Blackberry

what else did you need to betray your country, Johnny?

This's not the time for this, Kabeer

we have to tell Mr. Muhsen about this

- What are going to do, Kabeer? - I'll call Mr. Muhsen

No, don't call him from here

there might be hidden microphones or something

go out of the house and call him, Kabeer!

Do you know what, Kabeer?

When you call the delivery boy order 2 milkshakes for us

Yes, Kabeer?

Mr. Muhsen! The boy communicates with the CIA

"CIA?"

They want him to send them all the photos and information as soon as possible!

Are you sure of what you're saying, Kabeer?

I'm sure, sir! Listen to me...

what do you say if I send 4 strong men...

who would beat him up to death

then, you can come and take him and he'll confess about everything

What are you saying, you crazy pants?

I just wanted to repay my country and be a part of this operation

No, don't do anything on your own

we're still investigating

and our men are all around you

"don't worry, Kabeer! We have your back"

Ok, just a question...

is the password still the same or has it changed?

Yes, it's still the same "I'll search, I'll search, I'll search..."

"For myself!"

Goodbye!

- Have a good evening, my dear sir! - "Goodbye!"

"I'll search, I'll search, I'll search..."

- "for myself!" - "For myself!"

"I'll search, I'll search, I'll search..."

- "for myself!" - Fazzaa!

What? Hello! Hello, sir! What a nice surprise!

- Good evening, Kabeer! - Good evening, Fazzaa...

I'm sorry! Good evening, Mr. Fazzaa!

Thank you! Do you want anything from me?

- Give me your orders, Kabeer! - Only God can give you orders!

- You don't know how much I'm proud of you - Thank you so much!

Tell Mr. Muhsen that I said hello!

- Who is Mr. Muhsen? - Fazzaa...

I know everything about this game, man!

- Your secret safe with me, don't worry! - What secret? And what game?

Come on, go! We don't want anyone to doubt us

go and continue with the guard role you have been playing for years

- you really convinced me with it! Go! - Ok!

- Fazzaa! - What? Yes, sir?

I want...

- I'm... - What?

I feel...

Protect Egypt with your soul!

Long live Egypt!

Ok!

"I'll search, I'll search, I'll search for myself!"

Tell me! What did you do?

What's wrong, Kabeer? Are you crying?

- Tears of joy! - So, tell me, what is it?

- Fazzaa - What's about him?

He works for the Egyptian Intelligence

- Fazzaa? - Yes, that's the truth

when I was in the garden talking to Mr. Muhsen...

he told me: "Don't worry, Kabeer! our men are all around you"

and once I hung up...

Fazzaa said the password

Are you serious, Kabeer?

I used to insult him and slap him on the face with these filthy hands!

He might be a captain or a major

and his name might not be Fazzaa even

his name might be Medhat or Raaof

I told you, Kabeer! This isn't simple and there is something behind it

and look, the government knows everything and its men are all around the village

Listen, Hadeya...

I don't want you to tell anyone about this

and treat Fazzaa as a normal guard here

it's serious this time!

- What's wrong with me? - Take a rest, Kabeer!

I'll change my clothes, take a shower and lie down on the couch

"Oh, my God!"

"What are you two up to?"

- "Nothing, just spying a little" - "You're spying instead of studying!"

"Knock it off or I'll report you!"

"Man! One can't even spy in this house!"

"you've got some nerve!"

"I'm coming for you, you son of a spy!"

"Get a hold of yourself, Kabeer..."

"so you don't raise any suspicions!''

"picion, picion..."

"go along with them, Kabeer!"

"Have fun with them and dance a little!"

"Don't let me down!"

"Can you dance? Dance!"

"That's it Al Kabeer has the right to enjoy himself!"

"Jumaa, Jumaa!"

- "Where are you, Jumaa?" - "Fatima, I'm here! Come, woman"

"you'll ruin my look, woman!"

"I went blind, Jumaa!"

"You're blind since the day I met you!"

"But, it'll be over soon, you'll undergo a surgery and have your sight back, woman!"

"And Egypt will pay for it!"

"No, you're lying to me because I'm blind!"

"What's with the cheap begging speech? "Because I'm blind"!"

"You'll have the surgery! Mr. Muhsen told me that"

"and to be precise he came on roller skates..."

"and left on a skateboard!"

"Are you saying the truth?"

- "I'll undergo the surgery and see you!" - "You'll see me! You'll see me!"

"But God forbid if your vision was a little poor..."

"I'll let you undergo Lasik surgery!"

"I hope we stay together forever, Jumaa!"

"Jumaa!"

"Fatima!"

"Lasik!"

- "Spy!" - "Spy!"

- "Spy!" - "Spy!"

"No, I'm not a spy! I'm not Jumaa!"

"I'm not Jumaa!"

- "How much do you love Egypt?" - "As much as you love Israel!"

- "Then why did you cooperate with us?" - "Because you told me, it was in Egypt's favor"

"How many seeds are in one mango?"

"Only one and it's this big, dummy!"

- "You mean tomato" - "Yes, ok, sorry!"

- "How many seeds are in one tomato?" - "Give me one and I'll count them for you!"

- "You can't get me!" - "Ok, what's the most puzzling thing?"

"To be put in a circular room..."

"and then be asked to pee in the corner!"

- "And what's the most strange thing?" - "To find the corner..."

"and see someone else already peeing there!"

"Ant, hippo and donkey..."

"are locked in a room and the key is outside how can they get out?"

"The hippo can break the door!"

"Wrong! The ant gets out from underneath the door..."

- "and opens the door from the outside!" - "This's what the donkey said!"

"Kabeer..."

"we're happy to have you!"

"From The Egyptian Intelligence..."

"to our loved ones in The Israel Intelligence!"

"Thank you for your excellent cooperation..."

"through the past five years!"

"And we hope you always stay well!"

"Dear, Egypt, Egypt!"

"Dear, Egypt, Egypt!"

"Dear, Egypt, Egypt!"

Traitors! In the name of God!

In the name of God! I seek refuge in God from the cursed Satan!

I seek refuge in God from the cursed Satan!! I seek refuge in God from the cursed Satan!

- Kabeer, Kabeer! - You freaked me out!

I woke up to have some water...

when I went downstairs I saw Thomas sitting in front of his laptop...

while he was talking to a stranger in English!

What a disaster!

"We're very proud of your work!"

Thanks, Doctor it would be nothing without your help!

"Don't say that! Are you done with your assignment?"

Not yet, but I finished all the photography we need

"Remember. Tom you have to finish and send me all the stuff..."

- "by the end of this week!" - Sure, Doctor

I won't sleep today without finishing the graph

"Great, God bless you!"

"I'm sure you're going to get an A with your project!"

I caught you! I caught you, traitor!

You're spying shamelessly in the hall!

You've got some nerve!

What's going on, Kabeer? What's going on?

"Tom, what's happening?"

Who's he?

Mr. Sarrof?

Or Soso Leafy?

Who are they? This's my Doctor!

Doctor? Excuse me, Doctor!

I'm sorry to interrupt your examination!

What's your disease, dear?

Did your pressure go up or do you have malaria?

"Thomas, are you ok?"

- "Tom!" - Tell this man to shut up...

and stay still!

And if he makes one move I'll empty this rifle in your chest!

Are you serious, Kabeer?

- When have I ever joked with you? Tell him! - Ok!

Dr. Harvard, please don't go away!

He'll kill me if you do so!

"Who's this man and what's this all about?"

- I don't know! - What the hell are you two saying?

I asked him to stay put like you told me exactly!

But, Kabeer did I do something wrong?

Don't you know what you did, traitor?

Traitor! What traitor? I swear...

- I did nothing wrong! - Shut up!

- Hadeya! - Yes!

Look for Mr. Fazzaa and get me the phone...

to talk to Mr. Muhsen so he can catch them red-handed

As you wish, Kabeer!

- Who's this Muhsen guy? - Muhsen, Muhsen...

Mr. Muhsen! Sir Muhsen! Muhsen is your master!

Ok, don't get upset!

Who's this master, Mr. Muhsen?

You'll know soon! I swear, you will!

Get up, you!

Did you talk to Fazzaa I mean Mr. Fazzaa, woman?

I called him but his phone's switched off maybe he's on a mission or something

I wish him good luck God bless him!

I don't want to know what I did wrong anymore!

I want a glass of water I'm so thirsty!

Ok, captive!

We'll be generous with you and give you some water

this's the difference between us!

Cousins, cousins!

Who are you talking about, Kabeer?

"Thomas, it's way too much, I don't care what's happening with this crazy man!"

Keep babbling, mister! Just keep babbling!

The Interpol will take you any minute now!

"I have to go I have a meeting now!"

No, Dr, please! He wants to go by the way!

Tell him to wait like 10 hours I mean 5 minutes or something

Ok! please, Dr...

5 more minutes, please! Please!

He sold you out, right? Sold you out in no time!

Betrayal is in your blood! In your DNA, your DNA!

Go to hell!

You got my idiot brother Johnny involved in this and made him betray his country!

Johnny! What does Johnny have to do with this, anyway?

Keep lying, man! Keep lying!

Do you really think that you'll fool me with spies' tricks?

No, I've caught you since the first day I met you!

And I won't rest until you'll be executed

I have no idea what you're talking about, Kabeer!

Please, talk to master, Mr. Muhsen and let's get this over with!

Drop your weapon, immediately!

What's wrong with you? What the hell are you doing?

Don't worry, Mr. Muhsen!

I won't shoot him, I'm just bluffing!

I told you to drop your weapon, immediately!

What are you holding, Ma'am? Is it a gun?

No, it's feminine gun it has a dragon pattern!

I don't mean to brag but I caught him red-handed!

Him and the serpent's head, you can see him in the webcam

Untie him, Nadim why are just standing, Nadim?

I told you to untie him we don't want any trouble!

God forbid, sir!

It's all over we caught the cause of the problem!

Why don't you take him tied up so he won't escape?

Thank you very much, sir! I was going to die!

- Good thing you're still fine! - Almost!

I apologize on behalf of The Egyptian Intelligence!

Why are you apologizing to him, Mr, Muhsen? He's guilty, and deserves to be punished!

What's going on? Is Mr. Muhsen with them or what?

- Shut up, woman! - You acted on your own, Kabeer

and that was a mistake!

You would have killed this man and we would all have been in deep trouble!

I told you before he's an innocent and clean man

and I came here to stop you!

What are you talking about? He's doing researches with the CIA!

CFA!

CFA!

Do you see how shameless he is? Do you?

You really have charisma he admitted right away!

What charisma? What are you saying?

- He told you, C... what else? - CFA!

CFA! What's this?

- It's a diploma in accounting! - It's a diploma!

Then, how can you explain the photos you took of people in suspicious situations...

- and photos of weird places? - What weird places and suspicious?

I used all that in my assignment...

and I had to deliver this assignment to get my diploma!

Then why didn't you tell me you were studying?

You should have told me I'd have made you...

a couple of sandwiches or I'd have told Hadeya to make you a cup of tea

I told you, Kabeer! I told you, I'm making a research...

on the relationship of capital between enterprise and individual

Enough, people! Enough!

You're family and you live under one roof!

- Kabeer! - What, sir?

You have to apologize to brother Thomas

and right away!

You have to apologize to Thomas and he has to accept your apology!

If this man goes to the embassy we'll all get in big trouble!

And you'll look bad!

- Do I have to do it right away? - For me

If I have to...

I'm sorry that's it, I apologized!

But you humiliated me, Kabeer!

Enough is enough, man! Are you going to exaggerate?

You're not upset, Thomas!

- Sir... - You're not upset!

I'm not upset!

And next time, Kabeer don't act on your own!

Why did I do it? What was my intention?

- I was thinking about my country! - I know, Kabeer!

Now, I'll be on my way

and someone tell this man to get up and leave!

- To leave! - To leave!

- Goodbye! - Mr. Muhsen!

- What do you want? - She's my wife

- What is it? - If it doesn't bother you...

can we take a photo with you?

No, no, I don't take photos

Please, please, please!

- Just one photo for Facebook - I can't be on Facebook

Why? I don't have strange friends no one will see it but the people in this house

- please! - Ok, no problem

Take this, take this! Take it, Thomas, take!

Take this phone take a photo and remove your garbage!

- Remove it! Please, Mr. Nadim... - I won't!

We'll take this photo first then we'll take a photo with all of you

- Where are we going to take it? - Come here, sir, come!

Get a little closer to each other

Take this, woman!