Original subtitles

"Boy!"

"Boy!"

"I came home and brightened the place"

"Get up, lower the bass and increase the beat"

"Celebrate my arrival with fire clapping, and ululations"

- "I am El Kabeer" - "He is El Kabeer"

"Money, arms, power and an army of 3000 men''

"A hundred times stronger than a bear I roar like a lion"

"As proud as an eagle sly like a fox"

"Mix all of these together and you will have El Kabeer"

- "A dangerous mix" - "A dangerous mix"

"I drank camel milk as a kid not formula or juice"

"That's why I am tough, rough and dangerous"

"Professional PlayStation gamer and can beat any small kid"

- "Or a big kid" - "Or a big kid"

"I can rule any people no matter how many"

"It doesn't matter if they are rich or poor"

"Even if they are scholars, illiterates, or college kids"

"They have to obey me or they will disappear''

"Objection!"

"Yeah"

"Yeah"

"Come on! I really love this country like the fat kid loves the cake"

"And I'll be the new Mayor please just give yourself a break"

"You can't even battle me one on one Mr. Fake"

"My rap is like an ocean while your rap is like a lake"

"Please talk to me in Arabic if you don't mind brother"

"Don't mimic Eminem 50 Cent or Soulja Boy"

"If we compared our Rap to the breeds of dogs"

"mine would be Pitbull and yours will be a stray called Roy"

- "Listen, El Kabeer" - "No, you shut up and listen"

"I am a knight and can lift heavier than you can"

"No way you can beat me no matter how hard you try"

"Even in the Rap challenge I'll always have the final word"

"An apple tastes bitter when you eat it after chocolate"

''End of story!''

"Boy!"

"Episode 11"

You shouldn't have agreed with them, Mr. Johnny!

And her father...

you agreed to his every demand right away

- What's the issue? - Of course there's an issue!

This way, they'll start preying on us

they'll think that you're naive

- naive! - I don't know why you keep saying this!

What does my naivete have to do with whether I agree or not?

This way, they won't stop until they make you pay for everything

they won't pay for anything I know these people quite well!

Watch what you're saying, Jabir! These people are my relatives

and soon enough, they'll be my in-laws! Watch your mouth!

Why are you two shouting?

- Help us, Mrs. Hadeya! - What did you do over there?

This man went there to discuss his wife's bridal necessities...

and now, he's inclined to buy them everything! He's doing it all!

Everything?

He's just talking, you know that!

You think you can say whatever you want just because you talked first?

It's mere nonsense! Do you think I'm an idiot?

We're both in charge of multiple things it's the norm!

Yeah, right! They'll be in charge of cups, spoons, forks...

the door bell, and the makeup! All those silly things

while we're in charge of the furniture electric tools, kitchen necessities, and carpets

in addition, we'll pay them fifty thousand pounds as a dowry

How, exactly, are you paying? I'm the one paying, not you!

Do you want him to watch as you're being manipulated?

Start acting like him! Start acting like him!

Were you with us in the first place? Stop making things up!

Mr. Johnny, these things are done according to traditions!

Why do they take a dowry, then?

I don't know, I really don't want to focus on these pre-wedding plans

I don't know about all this, like dowry and who will pay for what, I don't know!

I want to marry that girl, simply put!

You will marry her anyway!

Of course, they'd want their daughter to marry the mayor! But you should be alert

Okay, are you done spewing nonsense?

I need you to summarize your point in a concise sentence, tell me...

- what shall I do? - Don't do anything

Kabeer and I will go and speak with them about this

they won't refuse anything El Kabeer says!

There's no need for that, Mrs. Hadeya they're coming for lunch tomorrow

they need to set a date for the engagement party, too

Great, they have another thing coming!

Oh, my God! She's going to kill them!

Who even are these people whom you want me to meet, woman?

I told you, that man's a leech! He'll stick to us like a parasite!

Today, my brother was in his house and tomorrow, he'll be in ours!

That's okay, Kabeer! This thing has become serious

they're trying to trick your brother

and your brother is agreeing to their every demand!

- How so? - Every time they ask him for something...

he simply nods like an idiot!

They're asking for a dowry that's fifty thousand pounds!

- Did he agree to that? - Agreed? He's so happy for that!

What an idiot! I've known from the start that this marriage isn't in our favor!

- This marriage is doomed! - That's all right, Kabeer

your brother, Johnny, made up his mind

you'll have a talk with them tomorrow when they come

as they won't dare disagree with you

Hadeya, that girl's father has a truly evil eye!

His eyes are about this big! Honestly, I'm scared of him!

Kabeer, do you believe in these things?

You'll only have to spend 30 minutes with them, to get over with it!

Nothing will happen!

Okay, but I'm still hesitant about this

Welcome, we're very glad to have you! Our house is blessed by your visit!

Thank you, we're glad to be here! Where is El Kabeer? Why hasn't he come yet?

He'll be down shortly, I told him you're here so he's just getting ready!

I'm glad that we're sitting next to each other we'll finally get a chance to talk!

Quick, before El Kabeer comes down we have to talk about anything

tell me all about you!

What type of music and movies do you like?

Personally, I like Braveheart I enjoy Eminem's music...

I like 50 Cent, and the...

why aren't you talking? Are you shy?

You're shy, I love it!

That's a rare thing nowadays! Compared to other girls...

you're like a white tiger! A truly rare phenomenon!

I mean, most girls nowadays are tomboys

they're like: "Hey man, are you single?"

"you're a cutie!" and all those things!

I mean...

you're too shy, this won't work!

I mean, are you awake?

- Thank God! - El Kabeer is here!

Welcome, Kabeer you have a very solid footing!

God!

- Welcome, Abbas! - Hello, Kabeer

- come here, sit beside me - No, I'll sit by my wife!

Come sit next to me, don't make me ask again!

That's okay, Kabeer, he's our guest! You shouldn't turn him down!

- Welcome, Kabeer! - Hello, Abbas

- I haven't seen you in quite a while - I've been busy

God help you, you're handling lands and farms and houses...

- That's enough, Abbas! Congratulations! - Thank you!

- Thank you so much, Kabeer - Did you set a date?

I think that the sooner the better

we'll make things official, rings and all by next Thursday, God willing!

Abbas, today's Tuesday! Are you referring to the day after tomorrow?

- That's quite early! - No, it's not early

- I'm in! - Then, congratulations!

Thank you!

Kabeer, you seem to be doing great these days

you're practically reveling in good health and your face is glowing!

Watch out, may you be safe from harm!

- Water, I need water! - Are you okay? Drink this!

Come on, come and have this soup before it gets cold

Oh, we don't want to impose on you! You look like a hero while carrying that tray

it's so much food!

Uncle Jabir!

Your dad seems to have a truly evil eye!

Do you know what pillow fights are?

- I won't go down at any cost! - That won't do, Kabeer!

- Never again! - We need to get this thing over with, Kabeer!

Didn't you see what happened? My heart was going to stop!

About 18 bowl of soup spilled over uncle Jabir he was burned!

That's okay, Kabeer, it's only half an hour! Do this for me!

- Never! - Do it for me, Kabeer

do I sit with them by myself?

Woman, I told you that I'm scared of him! I'm scared!

Okay, Kabeer

In the name of God!

I seek refuge in God from the cursed Satan God, protect us!

- It's so great to have you! - You know...

that incense protects them from envious eyes!

We need to get the marriage over with so we can be happy!

God willing, the mayor needs to get things in order, first

Come, sit next to me, Johnny

we need to discuss some details

first, we need to know what we have to get exactly

We've spoken yesterday, and it's all decided! Isn't that right, Mr. Mayor?

- Well, you could say... - Fine, we'll discuss the matter again

Why would we do that? It's all been decided on!

It's tradition, Mr. Abbas! Can you argue with tradition?

No, but frankly, I don't quite understand

I'll help you, Mr. Abbas

tradition says that the bride should furnish the bedroom and another room

while the groom handles the rest

But that's too much! I'm a man who barely scrapes by...

while Mr. Johnny is a great man! He's generous, rich, and highly respectable!

- Watch out, Mr. Johnny! - Why? Is he going to throw something at me?

Just watch out!

Listen here, Mr. Abbas...

we'll pay a dowry of 15 thousand pounds

15? What is she talking about, Mr. Mayor?

I, I... talk to her!

What's the matter, Mr. Abbas? Is 15 thousand pounds so little a sum?

Well, you can't buy anything with them!

Bride's needs are quite costly!

Okay, how about 20 thousand pounds?

-No! Shake it up a bit! - Watch it! Why are you asking her to shake?

- She's my brother's husband! - That's not what he meant

- he's referring to something else - Okay

- Twenty thousand, and that's final! - Whatever you see fit, Mrs. Hadeya

Great, now coming to the electrical appliances

what are you saying, ma'am? Speak up, you're amongst family!

There are no strangers here, my dear!

What was that? Where did it come from?

I was talking about tradition

tradition says, the groom must provide every appliance that has an electrical outlet

Electrical outlet? What does she mean?

- She means electrical appliances - Why doesn't she just say that, then?

Hold on a minute, Johnny! Tradition also says...

that a bride must provide the curtains

a bride must also provide the pillows and furniture...

the bedding and the fine China, too

- as for the bathroom appliances... - No, the groom has to handle that!

Why did you perk up at that? Is it so expensive? What is it?

He's referring to the bathtub! We know what our duty is, Mr. Abbas

- The groom is in charge of the clothes! - There's no need to get upset, sir!

How much could a hair dryer cost? 300 pounds? I'll buy you one!

Wardrobe, a new wardrobe! I don't want a hair dryer!

What's a wardrobe? Tell me!

It means the bride's clothes

No, I'll get those myself!

- I'll get them - Each room's...

- furniture, carpets, and chandeliers, too - What she said!

- Yes, but... - I don't want to hear it

this is what we see fit! So, what do you say?

What could I say? I have no choice but to agree!

- It's done, then! - What? Did you agree that easily?

We'd wed our daughter without hesitation to a glorious family like yours!

Okay, first things first let's make things official!

Okay, we'll make things official now and on Thursday, they'll exchange rings

God willing!

Are we going to make things official without El Kabeer?

Kabeer wasn't really feeling well so, he went up to get some rest

Really? He was sitting here, like a horse!

Believe me, none of us is as healthy as El Kabeer!

Excuse me, I'll go check on El Kabeer!

- One question, please... - Yes?

Is the bride's voice similar to her mother's, or is she mute?

- She's just shy! - I give up!

Welcome, my friend, Mr. Shalabi!

Welcome! What have you brought us?

Hima!

Welcome, Mr. Saafan and his sons!

Welcome, my dear!

Welcome, all, it's great to have you!

What's up?

- I have a question - Yes?

Why are men going through here while women are going through there?

Won't they just be close to one another at the door? Why is that?

That's how things are done here!

- Listen, where's Sabha? - She's with the women upstairs

- Are there any others? - Her uncle and cousins!

Why don't we go up, so we can exchange rings and I get to finally see her?

- What? See her? - Sabha!

No daughter of mine will see a man or have him see her until they're married!

You're so over-protective! Won't I see her on our wedding?

No, you won't

I've always dreamt of what I could do

I wanted to take some cake with the fork...

and, as we pretend to kiss we eat it at the last second, you know?

And as we cross our arms and drink juice from each other's hands

and maybe show her photos since she was a kid in a video with the song Oh, Girl!

- And all these silly things - No, you won't do that!

Because we are men! We are men!

Aren't you from this village, Mr. Johnny?

Welcome, welcome, my friend! My dear friend!

- You didn't bring any gift, too! - Welcome, welcome!

Welcome, welcome how are you?

What is this? Is all this a toothpick? Oh, My God!

- You! - What do you want?

Johnny! Congratulations, groom! Congratulations, man!

Have you realized that it's my wedding just right now? What an overreacting!

It's a happy night indeed, Mr. Johnny!

Enough with that, guys! This is enough, don't make me mad!

It's alright! Well, what are we waiting for anyway?

He said that her uncle must be here

I think there's a ritual that everybody should gather here

Yes, that's right

The bride's uncle is here! Yes!

- It's a disaster! Thomas! Oh, my God! - What is it?

- Thomas! - What? What's wrong?

Do you remember the girl I liked? The one who was hanging clothes!

- Yes, Sabha, what about her? - It turned out she's not Sabha

Did she change her name?

Why are you acting so silly?

- That was funny! - It's not funny, idiot! Come!

That's the girl I liked that's who I wanted to marry!

Welcome, welcome we're glad you're here, brother

- Oh, my God! - What should I do now?

- I don't know, calm down! - I want to marry her

Welcome, welcome! Come join us!

Hey, groom let me introduce you two

my brother Mr. Abdul Raheem the best Arabic and Calligraphy school teacher in Egypt

- Congratulations, mayor - Thank you, sir

- And this is his daughter Sabah - Sabah! Well...

her brother looks exactly like her! May God bless them

No! He's not her brother he's her husband

Is he considering divorce?

Please, come in, you're welcome!

- We're glad you're here - Hello!

- How lucky you are! - It's your day, groom!

- You'll wear a wedding ring! - Yes, of course

I'll surely do it, but you know what...

I need five minutes I'll handle something I can't tell you about

and then I'll come back to wear the ring and celebrate and do anything you want me to do

Okay, excuse me now! I really miss my brother, I want to see him!

- Welcome, welcome! - So weird!

- Thomas! Come over here - Yes?

I wanted Thomas alone! What is it?

- I want to run away! - Run away?

No, man, you can't do that! You're trapped!

First of all, you're the mayor and you'll wear a wedding ring in five minutes

and there're lights and decoration you can't! You can't run! It's over!

- Shall I marry a girl I haven't seen before? - She might be beautiful!

- What if she wasn't? - I will marry her

Shut up, you animal! You're grounded!

- Don't say a word! - Wait a minute! wait!

Aren't Hadeya and Ashly upstairs?

Yes, with the guests the bride's father...

a huge photo of my dad and so many other things, what's your point?

Listen to me, man...

- we can call them and ask about... - I have a great idea!

- What is it? - As you were speaking I had an original idea

- Go ahead! - We'll call Hadeya...

- Okay - And we'll tell her...

to give as a ring if the bride is beautiful and if not, she'll give us two

- so? - That's what I said by the way

No, you didn't say that! You said that Hadeya and Ashly are upstairs and that's it

Okay, okay, do it!

- My idea? - Of course, your idea!

- Mine! - Yes, yes!

- I came up with it - Just call them, man!

"At Om Farouk's house..."

"there were plums on the tree!"

"My lover is a brave rich man and he's so handsome!"

"Cheer up, groom you handsome guy!"

"Cheer up, groom your bride is so pretty!"

"Cheer up, groom you handsome guy!"

"Cheer up, groom your bride is so pretty!"

"At Om Salah's house..."

"there were apples on the tree!"

"At Om Salah's house..."

"there were apples on the tree!"

"My lover is a brave rich man and he's so handsome!"

- "Cheer up, groom, you handsome guy!" - Yes, Mr. Johnny? Yes, groom?

- "Cheer up, groom, your bride is so pretty" - No, I haven't seen her yet

why? Is there any problem?

Sure! I'll check on her!

"Cheer up, groom you handsome guy!"

"Cheer up, groom your bride is so pretty"

"Cheer up, groom you handsome guy!"

- "There were plums on the tree" - So, bride...

won't you show us your pretty face?

- I'm shy! - Why? We're family now!

In the name of merciful God!

"Cheer up, groom your bride is so pretty!"

"Cheer up, groom you handsome guy!"

"Cheer up, groom your bride is so pretty!"

"Cheer up, groom you handsome guy!"

"At Om Salah's house..."

"there were apples on the tree!"

"My lover is a brave rich man and he's so handsome"

I have a feeling that she's pretty I don't know why, brother

- my instincts never fail - Shut up!

- I mean I think... - Shut up!

- So? Did you see her? - I saw her, brother, I did!

- Is she pretty? - Of course, she is

God created her face, so she must be pretty God never creates ugly things

I don't know I'm not comfortable, describe her!

- She's normal! But her nose... - What about it?

- It's a little bit big - How big?

If it's about her nose, it's okay she'll have a surgery to make it small, simple!

- You're right, you're right, well... - See?

Is there any other big thing?

No, there's no other big thing except for...

her upper lip is also big

- What do you mean? - This one

She has full lips! Well, that's great!

We like girls like that just like Angelina Jolie

No! She's not like Angelina Jolie

it's too big, it's a birth defect

May God help her! It's like Jay-Z

- how about the other one? - Her lip?

Yes! How about it?

It's almost nonexistent at all!

Oh, my God!

The upper one is big and she doesn't have another one

so, it looks like the elephant trunk or the Swordfish

well, please, hit me! Tell me everything go on, I'm done! I'm trapped!

Well, to be honest...

her front teeth are like stairs and they're protruding a little

and she has a small scar on her forehead...

- and it goes all the way down her face - A scar on her face!

A scar on her face!

I'll marry a girl with a scar on her face!

What should I call he? "Scarface"?

- Well, it's okay, she might be funny! - Shut up!

Shut up!

Come on, Mr. Johnny, go bring your bride so we can start the ceremony

- Come on, Johnny, come on, let's go, dear! - It's alright, Mr. Johnny

- I need to use the bathroom - No, not now!

- I want some water! I don't want to go - Come on! Let's go!

Stop being silly, Johnny, come on

Get out of here! Let go of me!

Come on, groom! Come on, go!

- Congratulations, Kabeer! - Thank you, Abbas!

The mayor is a handsome guy he's walking just like Omar Al-Shareef!

My daughter!

Have mercy on us, God! Even his daughter didn't survive!

There's only one God! There's only one God!

Rest assured, sir, don't worry the doctor reassured me that she's fine

it's just a concussion and the pelvic bones are broken

and there're three missing ribs

rest assured! Listen, we have all the time in the world

she must take all the time required to heal

and I'll handle all the expenses

Can I test the minerals in my knees, too?

Do whatever you want! Stay with her in the hospital as long as you wish

Well, excuse me, Mr. Johnny I have to go to the hospital

these German ambulances are so fast!

My daughter!

There's only one God! There's only one God!

Yes!

Subtitled by: eArabization