Original subtitles

Chris, are you in there?

Yes, I'm not going.

Oh, I finally found you. I've been looking everywhere for

you.

Look, I just don't want to go, alright?

Come on, Chris. Please don't lock yourself in my son's

room. He's already at the auditorium waiting for us.

I'm just too nervous to give this speech. I really can't

do this.

Sweetheart, I totally understand your nervousness, but

come on, you've worked so hard for this day.

It's your graduation day. You can't not show up.

I mean, especially because you're the valedictorian speech.

You're going to leave the entire auditorium waiting for

you?

I don't care.

Come on, just open the door.

Look at you. I'm so sorry that you're this stressed out,

but really, this is something you've worked really hard

for.

You've been practicing. I know you know this speech by

heart.

Yeah, but I'm just too nervous, you know, and I've only

practiced in front of you and your son, and there's going

to be a lot of people there.

Tons. And I don't want to make a fool of myself in front

of my whole graduating class and all the families and

stuff.

I mean, if I mess up or...

Don't think about this. They don't know what your speech

says, so they don't know if you're going to mess up.

And this is their graduation day too, so they're just, you

know, excited. They want to get this over with and

celebrate and party.

And they're not even going to probably be listening

seriously. They'll be in their own little worlds.

Yeah, but I'm nitpicky, you know?

I want it to be perfect, and I know just think about it

too much.

But you also have to realize you've worked really, really

hard for this.

I mean, you've graduated with honors, and you've made it

this far, and I know you've been practicing this speech

really hard.

So I think you're going to do a good job.

And like I said, Greg and my husband are already there, so,

you know, we don't want to make them...

I think we've got like two hours until it's time to be

there, so we really should get going soon.

I don't know. I just don't think I could do it.

I can't...my palms are sweaty. How do I get rid of these

nerves?

You know, there's something that I was told in a public

speaking class that I took a long time ago.

And it was a technique that they told us about that I

found pretty helpful.

Here, stand up with me.

Okay.

So I know it's a little cliche, but if you close your eyes...close

your eyes.

And think really hard about what you're going to say, and

don't think about anybody else out in the audience.

And then when you count to ten, I'm going to have you open

your eyes.

But in the meantime, while you're counting to ten, just

let everything go.

And just picture the entire auditorium filled with naked

people.

Oh, come on.

Exactly. It's super cliche.

I don't work in the movies.

It's super cliche. I know, but just try it.

So count down from ten, and open your eyes. Just picture

everybody naked.

Whoa, what the fuck?

[Laughs]

Did you, like, hypnotize me or something?

It works, right?

Yeah, like, it really works.

But my imagination is...

In your bus habits?

Well, yeah, I mean, you're standing naked in front of me.

Weird. How did you do that?

Well, it's...

It is real.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I am really naked, but I wanted to prove a point.

Whoa, what the hell?

So when you open your eyes, just picture everybody naked.

Yeah, but what do you...

And just think about how you feel right now.

You really are naked.

You're relaxed, right?

Look.

We've got two hours to kill, right?

And you are really stressed out, and this kind of disturbs

me.

And I know how special today is.

So, I just want to help you out.

Let's just consider this migration gift to you.

Don't be nervous.

You're a boy.

What about Greg and your husband?

Exactly, they're already there waiting for us.

I don't think they would like this.

And they'll be really disappointed if you don't show

and you're not on your game.

They're really proud of you.

So like I said, let me have this as a gift to you.

To relax you, because I want you to be...

Exactly, I want you to be calm and less stressed.

Exactly, just like that.

You're going to knock the ball out of the park today.

And I'm going to be super proud of you.

But we need you to get you through that moment first, okay?

What?

And I wanted to do this for a long time, anyway.

So just relax.

Okay?

Just let me take care of you.

And release all of that stress.

Okay?

Good boy.

Yes, that's what I'm talking about.

Good job.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

So all your fear goes...

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, it's much better.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, my God.

Oh.

Oh, I can't believe this is happening.

Oh.

We are going to have a fantastic day.

We just need to release all of this stress.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Good boy, just like that.

Oh.

( Pr喉實)

Omeo...

Omeo.

Omeo...

Omeo...

Omeo...

Oh, so good.

See, you're already less stressed, aren't you?

Omeo...

Omeo...

Omeo...

Omeo...

Good boy.

Omeo...

Oh, this is good.

Omeo...

Omeo...

Omeo...

Omeo...

All of his nerves go.

Omeo...

Omeo...

Omeo...

Omeo...

Omeo...

Just like that.

Yeah.

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

(groaning)

[humming]

Oh yeah!

[humming]

Oh yes! Oh yes!

[humming]

Oh yes! Oh yes!

[humming]

Oh my god!

[humming]

Oh I have a dead apple kid!

[humming]

There let me...

[humming]

Yes please! Yes please! Yes yes!

[humming]

Oh my god I feel so good!

[humming]

Oh my god! Oh my god!

[humming]

Oh this is a good boy! This is a good boy! Yes yes yes yes

yes yes yes yes!

[humming]

Oh shit! Oh shit!

[humming]

Oh god oh god!

[humming]

Oh my god baby!

Oh my god yes! Oh fuck!

I need to get you in the bed! I need to get you in the bed!

Oh my god! Oh my god!

Yeah yeah yeah yeah! Oh my god!

Oh yeah come here come here!

Yes! Oh yeah yeah yeah!

Fuck the bed! Get over here!

Oh my god!

[humming]

Oh fuck! Oh god! Oh god! Oh my god!

[humming]

Yes yes yes yes yes!

Fuck the bed!

[humming]

Shit!

[humming]

Oh baby! Oh baby! Oh baby!

Oh my god yes yes yes yes yes!

[humming]

Oh wow!

Oh fuck!

Oh fuck!

[humming]

Oh yeah baby! Oh god! Oh god!

Oh yes yes yes yes yes!

Yes yes yes!

[humming]

Oh my god! Oh my god Chris!

Oh yes yes yes yes yes yes!

[humming]

Yes yes yes yes yes!

Oh fuck!

Oh baby! Oh my god baby!

[humming]

Are they coming in? Oh fuck!

[humming]

Oh god! Oh my god!

Oh god! Oh my god! Oh my god!

[humming]

Oh fuck! Oh fuck!

[humming]

Oh god! Oh my god!

[humming]

Oh god! Oh my god!

Oh baby! Oh fuck yes!

Oh fuck yes!

Oh my god! Oh my god yes!

Oh baby yes!

Oh fuck!

There's another one! There's another one!

[humming]

Fuck! Fuck! Oh god!

[humming]

Oh my god yes! Oh my god yes!

Oh god yes! I need to go to bed! I need to go to bed!

Oh god! Oh my god!

[humming]

Oh my god! Oh yes please! Oh yes!

Oh my god!

[humming]

Yeah fuck me! Oh god!

Oh my god yes yes yes yes!

Oh yeah just like that!

Oh yeah just like that!

Oh my god!

[humming]

Oh my god! Oh yes!

[humming]

Oh yeah! Oh yeah!

Oh my god!

[humming]

Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah!

Oh my god! Oh fuck!

Oh fuck!

[humming]

Oh! Oh yes! Yes yes yes!

[humming]

Oh yeah fuck this shit on me! Oh my god!

Oh yeah yeah yeah!

Oh my god! Oh my god yes!

Oh yes like that! Oh!

Oh yeah yeah yeah!

Oh fuck! Oh yeah!

Oh right there!

Oh yeah false makes him lose! Good boy!

Good boy!

[humming]

Oh yeah yeah! Oh yes!

[humming]

Oh god! Oh god!

[humming]

Oh yeah!

[humming]

Oh yes!

(sighs)

Oh god!

Oh yeah right there!

Oh my god!

Oh yeah!

Oh my god baby!

Oh my god you feel so good!

Oh my god you feel so good!

Oh yes!

Oh fuck!

Oh fuck yeah yeah!

Ah!

Oh!

Oh my god baby!

Oh god oh god oh god!

Oh my god baby!

Oh god oh god oh god!

Oh wow wow wow!

Oh wow wow!

Oh shit yes!

Oh fuck!

Oh yeah!

Oh yeah yeah yeah!

Oh yeah!

Oh yeah!

Oh yeah yeah just like that!

Oh yeah baby!

Oh fuck!

Oh my god!

Oh I keep pushing you out!

Oh shit!

Oh yes!

Right there!

Oh my god!

Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah!

Oh fuck!

Yeah yeah yeah!

Oh!

Oh!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Yeah yeah!

Oh god oh god!

Yes yes yes yes yes!

Yes yes yes yes!

Oh!

Oh!

Fuck!

Oh fuck!

Oh my god Chris!

Oh my god!

Oh yes yes yes!

Ah!

Oh baby!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Oh yeah yeah!

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!

Oh god oh god oh god!

Oh god!

Hey police enemies!

Police enemies!

I wanna see where...

I wanna see where...

Oh!

Oh my god!

Fuck yes!

Oh my god baby!

Oh my god!

Oh my god!

Yes yes yes!

Yes yes yes yes!

Oh fuck!

Oh fuck yeah!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Oh yeah yeah yeah!

Oh my god!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Oh my god baby!

You feel so good?

Oh my god!

Yeah shit!

Ah!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh fuck!

Oh fuck!

Oh my god baby!

Oh my god!

Oh!

Oh yes!

Oh yes!

There's another one!

There's another one!

Oh yes yes yes yes!

Ah!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Oh my god baby!

Oh shit!

Oh fuck!

Oh my god baby!

Oh!

Oh fuck!

Oh baby!

Oh fuck yes!

Oh my god baby!

You're amazing!

You make me come so fucking hard!

Oh!

Oh yeah yeah yeah!

Oh yeah yeah yeah!

Oh my god!

Oh my god!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Yeah yeah yeah!

Oh fuck!

Oh fuck!

Oh fuck!

Oh yes yes yes!

Oh my god!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Oh my god!

Oh wow!

Oh wow!

Oh sweetheart!

You're amazing!

Oh you're amazing!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Hi!

Hi!

Oh yeah!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Oh yes!

Oh god!

Oh god!

Oh yeah baby!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Oh shit!

Oh!

Oh oh oh oh!

Oh yeah!

Oh fuck!

Oh fuck!

Come again!

Yeah!

Oh!

Oh yeah!

Oh!

Yeah yeah yeah!

Oh my god!

Oh my god!

Oh baby!

Oh baby!

Oh fuck!

Oh you feel so fucking good!

Yeah!

Yeah yeah yeah!

Yeah!

Oh shit!

Oh shit!

Oh my god!

Oh my god!

Oh my god!

Yes!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh yeah!

Yeah!

Oh my god!

Oh!

Oh yeah!

Yeah yeah yeah!

Yeah fucking shit on me!

Oh yeah fucking shit on me!

Oh yeah just like that!

Oh yeah just like that!

Oh yeah just like that!

Oh yeah just like that!

Oh god Chris!

Oh my god!

Fuck that feels amazing!

Oh god!

Oh god!

Oh god oh my god oh my god!

Oh fuck!

Oh fuck!

Oh yeah yeah yeah!

Oh baby!

Oh baby baby!

Oh yeah yeah yeah!

Oh my god oh my god!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh wow!

Oh wow!

Oh wow yes yes yes!

Oh yeah just like that!

Oh wow!

Oh fuck fuck!

Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah!

Oh yeah yeah!

Oh my god oh my god!

Oh my god yes yes yes yes!

Oh fuck!

Oh fuck!

Oh fuck!

Oh my god baby!

Oh my god baby!

Oh my god!

Oh fuck yeah!

Oh fuck!

Oh my god baby!

Oh my god baby!

Oh my god!

Oh fuck yeah!

Oh my god baby!

Oh my god!

Oh fuck yeah!

Oh fuck yeah!

Oh my god!

Oh my god!

Oh my god!

Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah!

Oh fuck!

Oh my god!

Oh fuck!

Mmm!

Oh my god baby!

Oh he's such a good boy!

He's such a good boy!

Oh he's such a good boy!

Oh my god baby!

Oh my god baby!

(gibberish)

- Oh, hiya!

(gibberish)

- Oh, hiya!

(gibberish)

(gibberish)

- Hiya, come on home!

(gibberish)

(gibberish)

(gibberish)

- Wow.

Oh my god.

(gibberish)

Wow!

Now I'm gonna have to take a shower.

Oh my god!

- You think I messed up your son's bed?

- Yeah.

(gibberish)

Oh my god, you are amazing.

Wow.

- That feels so much better.

- So do I.

(gibberish)

Oh my god.

Wow.

- Get ready for the speech.

- Wow.

That was amazing.

(gibberish)

(gibberish)

(gibberish)

Oh my goodness.

Oh.

(gibberish)

- Naughty America.

Nobody.

- Nobody.

- Nobody.

- Does it better?

(laughing)

[BLANK_AUDIO]