Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,090 --> 00:00:07,090
Hi.
2
00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:08,090
Hi.
3
00:00:08,090 --> 00:00:09,590
Guess what.
4
00:00:09,590 --> 00:00:12,100
Since I've been
assistant director of tourism,
5
00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:14,100
off-season travel to Nantucket
is up 15%.
6
00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:15,100
Hey.
Really?
7
00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:17,600
So that would make, what,
nine tourists?
8
00:00:18,100 --> 00:00:19,100
It's up, okay?
9
00:00:19,100 --> 00:00:20,600
And you know why?
10
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:21,600
I simply asked myself
the question,
11
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:24,110
"Why isn't there
more tourism in winter?"
12
00:00:24,110 --> 00:00:26,110
Because it's colder than Pluto,
13
00:00:26,110 --> 00:00:29,110
and the biggest winter sports
are drinking and suicide?
14
00:00:29,110 --> 00:00:31,620
Where you see minuses,
I see pluses.
15
00:00:31,610 --> 00:00:35,120
As a matter of fact, I have
a group coming in any minute now
16
00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:37,620
that's very excited
about wintering in Nantucket.
17
00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:39,620
Uh...who is the "I.S.M."?
18
00:00:39,620 --> 00:00:42,130
It's the international
Society of Masochists.
19
00:00:42,130 --> 00:00:43,630
Oh.
20
00:00:43,630 --> 00:00:44,630
There's no such thing
21
00:00:45,130 --> 00:00:47,130
as the International Society
of Masochists.
22
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:50,130
Really? Tell them.
23
00:00:50,130 --> 00:00:51,640
You must be Ms. Davenport.
24
00:00:51,630 --> 00:00:53,640
You sure didn't lie
over the phone.
25
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:55,140
It's freezing here.
26
00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:56,640
I'm incredibly uncomfortable.
27
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:57,640
Thanks.
28
00:00:58,140 --> 00:01:00,140
We aim to please--
oh, and by the way,
29
00:01:00,140 --> 00:01:01,140
your reservations
at the Boar's Head Inn
30
00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:02,150
are all set up.
31
00:01:02,650 --> 00:01:04,150
And they have really hard beds?
32
00:01:04,150 --> 00:01:06,150
What beds? I had
them taken out.
33
00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:07,650
You'll be sleeping
on cold cement floors.
34
00:01:07,650 --> 00:01:10,150
Oh, that sounds horrible.
35
00:01:10,150 --> 00:01:11,150
You're a doll.
36
00:01:19,660 --> 00:01:21,160
Joe, are you busy tonight?
37
00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:22,170
Yeah. Helen and I are going
to heat up a casserole
38
00:01:22,670 --> 00:01:24,170
and then do the bills.
39
00:01:24,170 --> 00:01:28,670
Oh! Boy, you married guys really
lead the life, I tell you.
40
00:01:28,670 --> 00:01:30,170
All I got are these.
41
00:01:30,170 --> 00:01:33,180
Bruins-Rangers, center ice?
42
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:35,180
You can't get these.
No one can get these.
43
00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:36,180
How did you get these?
44
00:01:36,180 --> 00:01:38,680
A masochistic guy got them.
45
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:43,190
He really wanted to go, too,
so he gave them to me.
46
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:44,190
This is the biggest game
of the season!
47
00:01:44,190 --> 00:01:45,690
When do we leave?
48
00:01:45,690 --> 00:01:47,190
Right now. We'll take
my Boston flight.
49
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:48,190
Great. Let's go.
50
00:01:48,690 --> 00:01:50,690
Wait. Wait. Oh, damn.
We can't both go.
51
00:01:50,690 --> 00:01:52,200
Fay's out of town.
52
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,200
Someone's got
to watch Sandpiper.
53
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,700
Man, I was really
looking forward to
the both of us going.
54
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,200
Life is not fair.
55
00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:01,200
Hey, Roy, you want to go
see the Bruins tonight?
56
00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:02,710
Not the Bruins game.
57
00:02:02,710 --> 00:02:05,210
They win tonight,
they'll beat their own record
58
00:02:05,210 --> 00:02:06,710
for most consecutive
victories.
59
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,210
Nobody can get these.
How did you get these?
60
00:02:08,210 --> 00:02:09,710
You're not getting them.
Let go! They're mine!
61
00:02:09,710 --> 00:02:10,210
Hey, hey!
62
00:02:10,210 --> 00:02:11,720
What's going on?
63
00:02:11,710 --> 00:02:14,220
We want to go to Boston,
but there's no one's here
64
00:02:14,220 --> 00:02:16,220
to man Sandpiper.
Oh! Let me,
let me!
65
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:18,720
You don't know how long
I've been waiting
66
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:19,720
to hear those words.
67
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:20,720
You got it.
68
00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:21,720
(screaming)
69
00:02:21,720 --> 00:02:23,230
Let's go!
70
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:24,730
Wait! Wait!
71
00:02:24,730 --> 00:02:26,730
What does he know
about running a counter?
72
00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:29,730
Oh, well, I've watched
Fay do it for years.
73
00:02:29,730 --> 00:02:31,730
I've even
practiced at home.
74
00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,240
Hey, it's winter on
Nantucket, you know?
75
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:38,240
You learn to make
your own good time.
76
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:39,740
You two guys go. Shoo.
77
00:02:39,740 --> 00:02:40,740
No, no! Oh...
78
00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:44,250
Nice going,
Scarpacci.
79
00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:45,250
Because of you,
80
00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:47,250
now I'm going to have
to watch this game
81
00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,750
at the sports bar...
with Mom.
82
00:02:51,250 --> 00:02:53,260
I just hope she
doesn't start a brawl
83
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:55,760
when they cut her off
after six boilermakers.
84
00:03:11,270 --> 00:03:13,280
(typing)
85
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:17,780
Don't be nervous,
don't be nervous.
86
00:03:17,780 --> 00:03:22,290
You've done this
a thousand times at home.
87
00:03:22,290 --> 00:03:24,290
ANTONIO:
Testing, testing.
88
00:03:24,290 --> 00:03:27,290
Sandpiper announces
the final boarding call
89
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:29,290
for Flight 19 to Boston.
90
00:03:29,290 --> 00:03:32,300
It just doesn't get
any better than this.
91
00:03:32,300 --> 00:03:35,300
Excuse me, I'm going
to Boston to see
my grandchildren
92
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:37,300
but I only have
a standby ticket.
93
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,300
Is there any chance
I'll get on?
94
00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:41,810
Ah, well, Sandpiper
policy states
95
00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,810
that standby passengers
get to board
96
00:03:43,810 --> 00:03:45,310
five minutes before the flight
97
00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:47,810
and lucky you,
young lady...
98
00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:48,810
Oh...
99
00:03:48,810 --> 00:03:50,310
There's one empty seat,
100
00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:51,820
and the plane
is about to take off.
101
00:03:51,810 --> 00:03:53,320
Oh, thank you!
102
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,320
Thank you.
103
00:03:54,820 --> 00:03:56,320
Wow, what a rush.
104
00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,820
Hi there, Mr. Lutz.
105
00:03:58,820 --> 00:04:01,320
How you enjoying
the island?
106
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,830
It's a dreary,
depressing wasteland.
107
00:04:03,830 --> 00:04:05,830
I'm looking into a time-share.
108
00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,330
So what do you recommend?
109
00:04:09,830 --> 00:04:11,830
Well... the tuna
fish looks iffy.
110
00:04:11,830 --> 00:04:14,340
Although I've had
a lot of complaints
111
00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:15,840
about the turkey loaf.
112
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,840
I think you'll be unhappy
either way you go.
113
00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:22,350
Here you go, pal.
114
00:04:22,350 --> 00:04:24,850
I'm on the 12:00
To Boston.
115
00:04:24,850 --> 00:04:26,850
I'm terribly sorry,
but it's all full up.
116
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:28,350
Uh, I don't think so.
117
00:04:28,350 --> 00:04:29,850
I got a ticket.
118
00:04:29,850 --> 00:04:32,360
Yes. Well, you see,
Sandpiper policy clearly states
119
00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:33,860
that standby passengers
120
00:04:33,860 --> 00:04:35,860
get to board five minutes
before the flight,
121
00:04:35,860 --> 00:04:37,360
so I had to give
your seat away.
122
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,860
Well, un-give it away, ace.
123
00:04:39,860 --> 00:04:41,360
I'm Danny Connelly.
124
00:04:41,360 --> 00:04:44,870
Tardy Danny Connelly.
125
00:04:44,870 --> 00:04:46,870
"Dead end" Connelly?
126
00:04:48,870 --> 00:04:50,370
Goalie for the Bruins?
127
00:04:50,370 --> 00:04:51,880
I'm not much
of a basketball fan.
128
00:04:51,870 --> 00:04:55,380
It's hockey, you moron,
and I got a big game today.
129
00:04:55,380 --> 00:04:57,380
I don't have time for this.
130
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,380
Now, tell the standby idiot
131
00:04:59,380 --> 00:05:02,390
to get their fat ass
off the plane...
132
00:05:02,390 --> 00:05:04,390
or I'm going to punch
your lights out.
133
00:05:04,390 --> 00:05:06,890
Uh, I wouldn't do that, sir.
134
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:07,890
Or what?
135
00:05:07,890 --> 00:05:08,890
I'll fall and bleed
136
00:05:09,390 --> 00:05:11,390
and probably cry like a child,
137
00:05:11,390 --> 00:05:14,400
but you still won't
get on that plane.
138
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,900
Oh, yeah? Just watch me.
139
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,900
(airplane taking off)
140
00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:22,910
Was that...?
141
00:05:22,910 --> 00:05:25,410
Uh, right on time.
142
00:05:25,410 --> 00:05:28,410
Get me on the next
flight to Boston, now.
143
00:05:28,410 --> 00:05:30,910
Okay. Checking,
checking...
144
00:05:30,910 --> 00:05:33,920
Okay, that would be Aeromass,
9:00 tomorrow morning.
145
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:36,420
Would that be a window
or an aisle seat?
146
00:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,420
I want to know your name.
147
00:05:38,420 --> 00:05:39,920
Oh, it's Antonio Scarpacci.
148
00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:42,430
Well, Scarpacci, let me
tell you something.
149
00:05:42,930 --> 00:05:45,930
You better pray
I make it to that game,
150
00:05:45,930 --> 00:05:49,430
or you're going to wish
you were never born!
151
00:05:51,430 --> 00:05:53,440
I couldn't help but notice
how mean and abusive
152
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:54,940
that customer was to you.
153
00:05:54,940 --> 00:05:56,940
Well, it comes with the job.
154
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:59,440
Really? Are they hiring?
155
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:07,450
What a way
for the Bruins
156
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:08,950
to blow their
winning streak.
157
00:06:08,950 --> 00:06:10,950
I know. Ten to nothing.
158
00:06:10,950 --> 00:06:12,460
It was totally
humiliating.
159
00:06:12,460 --> 00:06:13,960
Man, can you believe that game?
160
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:15,460
What happened
to your hand?
161
00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:17,460
Oh... when the Rangers
162
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:20,460
scored those three goals
in the first minute,
163
00:06:20,460 --> 00:06:21,970
Mom started to bite.
164
00:06:23,470 --> 00:06:26,470
They'll know in 48 hours
if I'm out of danger.
165
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,470
I cannot believe Dead End
Connelly just didn't show up.
166
00:06:28,470 --> 00:06:29,970
The guy's an iron man.
167
00:06:29,970 --> 00:06:31,470
I don't think he's
ever missed a game.
168
00:06:31,470 --> 00:06:32,980
Dead End has never
let his fans down like that.
169
00:06:32,980 --> 00:06:34,480
Something must have happened.
170
00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,480
You're right-- it
had to be somebody
else's fault.
171
00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,480
I'd love to get my hand
on the guy whose fault it is.
172
00:06:38,980 --> 00:06:40,480
Hi there!
173
00:06:40,980 --> 00:06:42,990
Boy, did I have
a great time.
174
00:06:42,990 --> 00:06:46,490
I can't believe Fay actually
accepts a paycheck for this.
175
00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:47,990
Well, we're glad you had fun.
176
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:50,990
Well, it wasn't
all blue skies, you know?
177
00:06:50,990 --> 00:06:52,500
There was this real
obnoxious guy
178
00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:54,000
tried to force his way
on the plane
179
00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:56,500
after I gave his seat
to a standby passenger.
180
00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,000
Of course,
I told him no.
181
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,000
Yeah, well,
that's policy.
182
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,500
Exactly! Then he
tried telling me
183
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:04,010
he was some big-shot
hockey player...
184
00:07:06,010 --> 00:07:09,010
Uh... Antonio,
who was this man?
185
00:07:09,010 --> 00:07:10,510
Oh, who remembers?
186
00:07:10,510 --> 00:07:13,520
Some silly name like
Dead Guy... Dead Boy...
187
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:16,020
Dead End Connelly?
188
00:07:16,020 --> 00:07:17,020
That's it.
(groans)
189
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:18,520
ROY:
Quick, guys,
turn on channel 4.
190
00:07:19,020 --> 00:07:20,520
Connelly is holding
a press conference.
191
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:22,530
He better have
a damn good reason
192
00:07:22,530 --> 00:07:24,030
why he missed that game.
193
00:07:24,030 --> 00:07:27,530
All I can say is I showed up
for my flight on time,
194
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:30,530
and some nasty little
airline clerk on Nantucket
195
00:07:30,530 --> 00:07:33,040
bumped me
for a standby passenger.
196
00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:35,540
Please don't mention us.
Please don't mention us.
197
00:07:35,540 --> 00:07:40,040
So, Boston, if you want to know
why our winning streak's over,
198
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:44,550
ask Antonio Scarpacci
at Sandpiper Air.
199
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:57,560
Well... you live,
you learn, you know.
200
00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,560
That's what first days
are all about.
201
00:08:09,570 --> 00:08:11,070
CROWD (chanting outside):
Boycott Sandpiper!
202
00:08:11,070 --> 00:08:12,580
Sandpiper sucks!
203
00:08:12,580 --> 00:08:14,580
Hello, 911?
204
00:08:14,580 --> 00:08:17,580
Yes, it's Hackett
at the airport again.
205
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,080
Now, this is the third time
I've called.
206
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:21,080
Why aren't you here?
207
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,590
Th-There is an angry mob
outside.
208
00:08:24,090 --> 00:08:26,590
Listen,
I know you're a Bruins fan.
209
00:08:26,590 --> 00:08:28,090
Hello? Hello? Hello?
210
00:08:30,590 --> 00:08:31,590
Brian. Brian, help me!
211
00:08:32,090 --> 00:08:33,100
These people are animals.
212
00:08:33,100 --> 00:08:35,100
Oh, all right. All right.
213
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,600
(chanting continues)
You stop that.
214
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,600
Brian, help me.
215
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:40,600
Okay. Okay.
216
00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:42,100
Okay, okay.
217
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:44,610
Get off! Get back! You animals!
218
00:08:46,110 --> 00:08:48,110
Okay, all right,
I've got a plan.
219
00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:50,110
I've got a plan.
I've got a plan.
220
00:08:50,110 --> 00:08:52,110
We'll slip out the back
and we won't stop
till we reach Mexico.
221
00:08:52,110 --> 00:08:54,620
There... there, we can
make a new life.
222
00:08:54,620 --> 00:08:57,620
HELEN:
Get out of the way!
Let me through.
223
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,120
I'll take a piece out of them,
and you can have what's left.
224
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,120
Hi, baby.
225
00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:02,130
Boy, there's
quite a turnout.
226
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,630
I bet half the island's
out there.
227
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:04,130
Helen, Helen,
did you bring it?
228
00:09:04,630 --> 00:09:05,630
Oh, yeah.
229
00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:06,630
That's it? That's all
the food you brought?
230
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:08,630
That's all that's left.
231
00:09:08,630 --> 00:09:10,630
There's an angry mob out there,
and you know what they say:
232
00:09:10,630 --> 00:09:11,630
An angry mob is a hungry mob.
233
00:09:11,630 --> 00:09:12,640
I'm cleaning up.
234
00:09:14,140 --> 00:09:15,640
Bye, I love you.
Bye.
235
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:18,140
Yeah, try walking
now, flyboys!
236
00:09:19,140 --> 00:09:22,140
Nothing like the support
of a good woman.
237
00:09:22,140 --> 00:09:24,150
(phone rings)
238
00:09:24,150 --> 00:09:26,150
Yeah.
239
00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:28,650
Oh. Oh, yeah?
240
00:09:28,650 --> 00:09:30,150
Jerks?!
241
00:09:30,150 --> 00:09:31,650
Morons?!
242
00:09:31,650 --> 00:09:33,160
Y... you're going to what?
243
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:36,660
Well, I'd like to see
you try it!
244
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:39,160
That was Fay.
245
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,160
Hello! Excuse me!
246
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:42,670
Ma'am, this is a
private office.
247
00:09:42,670 --> 00:09:44,170
You'll have
to leave now.
248
00:09:44,170 --> 00:09:46,670
Really? Where the hell
am I supposed to go?
249
00:09:49,170 --> 00:09:51,670
Antonio, what's
with this outfit?
250
00:09:51,670 --> 00:09:53,680
Whole freaking island's
after me.
251
00:09:55,680 --> 00:09:57,180
A big flaming hockey puck
252
00:09:57,180 --> 00:09:59,680
came crashing through
my window last night.
253
00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:01,680
I had to... I had to dress
in the dark.
254
00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:02,690
Obviously.
255
00:10:04,190 --> 00:10:06,190
There's no need
to say hurtful things.
256
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:09,690
Geez.
257
00:10:12,190 --> 00:10:13,700
I, uh...
258
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:15,700
I do you guys one lousy favor,
259
00:10:15,700 --> 00:10:18,700
and my whole world
comes crashing down.
260
00:10:18,700 --> 00:10:20,200
Yeah, well, if you had let
Connelly on the plane,
261
00:10:20,700 --> 00:10:21,700
none of this this
would have happened.
262
00:10:21,700 --> 00:10:23,710
But at Sandpiper,
our policy clearly...
263
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:25,210
Hold on. Our policy?
264
00:10:25,710 --> 00:10:27,710
You know, in case I forgot
to mention it,
265
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:30,210
you are so fired!
266
00:10:30,210 --> 00:10:31,710
For just doing my job?
267
00:10:31,710 --> 00:10:33,220
Do you have any idea
268
00:10:33,220 --> 00:10:34,720
what that's going to do
to company morale?
269
00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:35,720
Wait a second.
270
00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:37,720
Joe, I think I
have a plan.
271
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,720
I think I know how
we can make this whole
thing go away.
272
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:40,720
Really? How?
273
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,730
We give them the cabbie.
274
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:46,230
It's what they want.
275
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,230
Mm, may I...
276
00:10:49,230 --> 00:10:50,730
may I say
something here?
277
00:10:50,730 --> 00:10:53,740
Yeah. We'll give them
the cabbie.
278
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:56,740
Why should we
take the fall?
279
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:59,740
I can see things are
taking an ugly turn here.
280
00:10:59,740 --> 00:11:01,240
Hey, where you
going, toots?
281
00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:03,750
Yeah.
Where you going?
282
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,250
Nowhere.
283
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:07,250
Oh, my God!
They're getting in.
284
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:08,750
Hey!
That's all right.
285
00:11:08,750 --> 00:11:10,250
It's all right.
286
00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:13,260
How far can he
get in heels?
287
00:11:18,760 --> 00:11:19,760
Oh, long day.
288
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:20,760
Yeah, I'm beat.
289
00:11:22,770 --> 00:11:24,270
Those new pajamas?
290
00:11:24,270 --> 00:11:25,770
Yeah, got them today.
291
00:11:25,770 --> 00:11:26,770
Cute.
292
00:11:26,770 --> 00:11:28,770
Thanks.
Okay, I'm coming to bed.
293
00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:31,270
MAN:
There he is!
294
00:11:31,270 --> 00:11:32,270
(people yelling)
295
00:11:32,270 --> 00:11:34,280
(objects hitting widow)
296
00:11:41,780 --> 00:11:43,790
You going to read?
297
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:45,290
Yeah, I thought
for a little bit.
298
00:11:45,790 --> 00:11:46,790
Mind if I watch
some TV?
299
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,290
No.
300
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:50,290
You seen the clicker?
301
00:11:50,290 --> 00:11:51,790
Yeah, it's right
over there.
302
00:11:52,290 --> 00:11:54,300
Okay. Going
for the remote.
303
00:11:54,300 --> 00:11:55,300
Okay.
304
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:57,300
(people yelling)
305
00:11:57,300 --> 00:12:00,300
(objects hitting window)
306
00:12:05,310 --> 00:12:06,310
(sighs)
307
00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:10,310
How long can we live
our lives like this?
308
00:12:10,310 --> 00:12:11,810
I know it seems bad now,
309
00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:13,320
but, trust me, I think
things are already
310
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:14,320
starting to blow over.
311
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:16,320
Yeah, I guess you're right.
312
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:17,820
I just need to take
my mind off it.
313
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,320
(applause over TV)
314
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:20,320
Folks, did you hear
the good news?
315
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:22,830
Elvis is alive
and going on a world tour.
316
00:12:22,830 --> 00:12:23,830
Very, very exciting.
317
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:25,830
The bad news is,
he's on Nantucket,
318
00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:29,330
and Sandpiper Air
won't let him on the plane.
319
00:12:40,340 --> 00:12:42,340
It's awful quiet
out there.
320
00:12:42,340 --> 00:12:44,350
I know.
321
00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:47,350
So what...
322
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:49,350
what do you think they're up to?
323
00:12:49,350 --> 00:12:51,350
It's hard to say.
324
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:56,860
I mean, why don't they
just make their move?!
325
00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:59,360
I can't... I can't take it.
326
00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:00,860
I can't take it!
327
00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:01,860
Brian, Brian, no.
328
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:03,370
I can't take it!
Okay...
329
00:13:03,370 --> 00:13:04,870
Don't crack on me.
330
00:13:04,870 --> 00:13:06,370
That's just what
they want,
331
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:07,870
the bastards.
332
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:09,370
(knocking)
333
00:13:09,370 --> 00:13:10,870
(gasps)
334
00:13:10,870 --> 00:13:11,870
Who... who is it?
335
00:13:12,370 --> 00:13:13,880
It's Casey.
336
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:18,380
If it's really Casey,
knock twice.
337
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:19,880
(two knocks)
338
00:13:20,380 --> 00:13:20,880
It's her.
339
00:13:21,380 --> 00:13:22,890
Yeah.
340
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:30,390
Where...
where's the mob?
341
00:13:30,390 --> 00:13:32,900
Well, the chief of
police made them move
to the parking lot.
342
00:13:32,900 --> 00:13:35,400
Well, about time.
343
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:36,900
Yes, well, now he's looking
the other way
344
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:38,400
while they slash your tires.
345
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,400
Listen, I've been doing some
thinking about this,
346
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:42,910
and you may be in a better
position than you think.
347
00:13:43,410 --> 00:13:44,910
What, just because we haven't
gotten a bomb threat
348
00:13:44,910 --> 00:13:46,910
in the last two hours there's no
reason to break out party hats.
349
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:49,410
No. I'm telling you that the
only bad publicity
350
00:13:49,410 --> 00:13:50,910
is no publicity.
351
00:13:50,910 --> 00:13:53,420
You are the two most
hated men in New England.
352
00:13:53,420 --> 00:13:54,420
You want to take
advantage of that.
353
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:58,920
You're hopped up
on something,
aren't you?
354
00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:00,420
Now, listen to me.
355
00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:02,420
You have a golden opportunity
to turn this disaster
356
00:14:02,420 --> 00:14:04,430
into a public relations coup.
357
00:14:04,430 --> 00:14:06,930
What in the world
do you know about
public relations?
358
00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:09,430
Hey, because of me, there are
nine masochists
359
00:14:09,430 --> 00:14:10,430
camped out in a cranberry bog
360
00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:12,440
freezing to death and loving
every minute of it.
361
00:14:14,940 --> 00:14:17,440
Okay. Okay, Casey, wait.
362
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,940
Would you wait?
We'll listen.
363
00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:21,940
All right, here's what
you've got to do.
364
00:14:21,940 --> 00:14:23,450
You've got to call
a press conference
365
00:14:23,450 --> 00:14:24,950
and apologize publicly.
366
00:14:24,950 --> 00:14:26,950
That's it?
367
00:14:26,950 --> 00:14:28,450
Well, not exactly.
368
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,950
I mean, you have to do it
with a little showbiz,
369
00:14:29,950 --> 00:14:30,950
a little humor.
370
00:14:30,950 --> 00:14:32,460
You know, America
loves a loser
371
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,460
as long as he can laugh
at himself.
372
00:14:34,460 --> 00:14:36,460
You've got to put
some positive spin on this.
373
00:14:36,460 --> 00:14:38,460
Wait, wait,
a positive spin?
Yeah.
374
00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,460
Invite the media
and get Connelly back here,
375
00:14:41,460 --> 00:14:43,470
so you guys can apologize to him
face to face.
376
00:14:43,470 --> 00:14:45,470
Fine. Fine, we'll do
whatever it takes.
377
00:14:45,470 --> 00:14:46,470
Well, there's one more thing.
378
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:48,470
You need Antonio--
I mean, after all,
379
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:49,970
he's the one that blew it
with Connelly.
380
00:14:49,970 --> 00:14:51,970
Yeah, but it's going to be
pretty hard finding Antonio.
381
00:14:51,970 --> 00:14:53,480
We haven't seen him
for a while.
Yeah, last time
we saw him,
382
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:54,980
he said he was going to
take to the high ground
383
00:14:55,480 --> 00:14:56,480
and live off
grubs and beetles.
384
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,480
Well, this isn't going to work
385
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,980
without Antonio showing up
and apologizing.
386
00:15:00,980 --> 00:15:02,490
Well, forget it.
387
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:03,990
I refuse.
388
00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:07,490
I refuse to make
a public spectacle
out of myself.
389
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:10,490
I may be a poor,
out-of-work cab driver,
390
00:15:10,490 --> 00:15:11,990
who can't make a living,
391
00:15:11,990 --> 00:15:15,500
but even if I were
a rich man...
392
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:19,500
I still wouldn't apologize.
393
00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:22,500
Because I didn't do
anything wrong.
394
00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:24,010
First, he was late.
395
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:26,510
Then he was rude and abusive.
396
00:15:26,510 --> 00:15:29,010
Antonio, please, we're
going under here.
397
00:15:29,010 --> 00:15:30,010
If you don't help us,
398
00:15:30,010 --> 00:15:31,010
we're going to go
out of business.
399
00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:34,020
Oh, my God, what
am I going to do?
400
00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:37,020
On the one hand...
401
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:40,020
I should help my friends.
402
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:43,030
But on the other hand,
403
00:15:43,030 --> 00:15:46,030
it goes against everything
I believe in.
404
00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:51,030
I've got to go see my priest.
405
00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:58,040
Ladies and gentlemen,
406
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,540
please be patient,
we'll start in just a moment.
407
00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:03,550
They're almost ready.
They'll be out in a minute.
408
00:16:03,550 --> 00:16:05,550
Oh, and this is Joe Hackett's
wife, Helen.
409
00:16:05,550 --> 00:16:07,050
Maybe she'll say
a few words.
410
00:16:07,050 --> 00:16:08,550
Casey, I'm really not
comfortable doing this.
411
00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:10,550
Oh, come on, it'll
really help the guys.
412
00:16:10,550 --> 00:16:12,050
Just do it like
we rehearsed.
413
00:16:12,050 --> 00:16:14,560
Hello.
414
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:16,560
My name is Helen Hackett,
415
00:16:16,560 --> 00:16:20,060
and I run the lunch counter
over there.
416
00:16:20,060 --> 00:16:21,560
So if anyone's hungry,
417
00:16:22,060 --> 00:16:23,570
I just want
to tell you
418
00:16:23,570 --> 00:16:28,070
that for today's special
we're serving crow.
419
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,570
(all laughing)
420
00:16:32,070 --> 00:16:33,580
Helen.
Helen?
421
00:16:33,580 --> 00:16:35,580
Fire away, baby.
422
00:16:35,580 --> 00:16:38,580
How has this incident
affected your personal life?
423
00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:40,580
Oh, actually, not at all.
424
00:16:40,580 --> 00:16:43,090
I kind of like making love
in riot gear.
425
00:16:44,590 --> 00:16:46,090
I'll go get
Joe and Brian.
426
00:16:46,090 --> 00:16:48,590
Don't hurry.
427
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:50,090
Guys, are you ready?
428
00:16:50,090 --> 00:16:51,090
Yeah, almost, almost.
429
00:16:51,590 --> 00:16:53,600
All right, Antonio,
just like we rehearsed.
Okay.
430
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:55,600
Danny, I'm so sorry.
431
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,600
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
432
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,600
Aren't we
forgetting
something?
433
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:03,610
Danny, I'm so sorry.
434
00:17:03,610 --> 00:17:04,610
I was...
435
00:17:05,110 --> 00:17:06,110
No, no, no.
436
00:17:06,110 --> 00:17:08,610
I just can't
go through with this.
Okay, okay, okay.
437
00:17:08,610 --> 00:17:12,110
Just do the somersault
followed by the apology.
438
00:17:12,110 --> 00:17:15,120
And remember, when Dead End
says "I forgive you,"
439
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:16,120
you look straight
into the camera
440
00:17:16,120 --> 00:17:18,120
and sob uncontrollably.
441
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:21,620
No, look, all these things
you want me to say and do
442
00:17:21,620 --> 00:17:23,630
I really shouldn't have to.
443
00:17:23,630 --> 00:17:25,630
You weren't there.
444
00:17:25,630 --> 00:17:26,630
It was his fault.
445
00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:28,130
He was late,
and he was abusive.
446
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:29,630
Antonio, none
of that matters.
447
00:17:29,630 --> 00:17:31,130
Well, it matters to me.
448
00:17:31,130 --> 00:17:31,630
I did nothing wrong.
449
00:17:32,130 --> 00:17:33,140
Don't make me do this.
450
00:17:33,140 --> 00:17:36,140
But we're going to lose
our business. Please.
451
00:17:36,140 --> 00:17:37,640
Guys, we've got
to get out there.
452
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:39,140
I mean, I left poor Helen alone.
453
00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:40,640
I got to go rescue her.
454
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,640
REPORTER (laughing):
Helen.
455
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:44,150
Helen, over here.
456
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:46,150
Okay, okay. First Greg
and then Diane.
457
00:17:46,150 --> 00:17:48,150
Helen, if you had one thing
to say to Bruins fans,
458
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:49,150
what would it be?
459
00:17:49,150 --> 00:17:51,150
I am glad you
asked that, honey.
460
00:17:51,150 --> 00:17:52,150
Hold it. Hold it. Hold it.
461
00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:54,160
Let's get
to the important issue here.
462
00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:58,160
Isn't it true that Aeromass
463
00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,160
flies nonstop
to Boston six times a day?
464
00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:02,660
Look, it's Danny.
465
00:18:03,170 --> 00:18:04,170
Hiya, boys.
(reporters saying greetings)
466
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,170
Thanks for turning out.
467
00:18:05,170 --> 00:18:07,170
Greg, Diane, good to see you.
468
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:09,170
Danny, Danny, the people
have a right to know.
469
00:18:09,170 --> 00:18:11,670
Have you ever been
bumped by Aeromass?
470
00:18:11,670 --> 00:18:13,680
Hey, hey, there's Dead End.
471
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:14,680
Wow, look at him.
472
00:18:15,180 --> 00:18:16,680
Yeah. Looks even bigger
in person.
473
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,680
Dead End,
I'd like you to meet
474
00:18:19,180 --> 00:18:20,680
the owners
of Sandpiper Airlines.
475
00:18:21,180 --> 00:18:22,690
Nice to meet you.
476
00:18:24,190 --> 00:18:25,190
He likes us.
477
00:18:25,190 --> 00:18:26,690
He's really cool.
478
00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:27,690
REPORTER:
Question.
479
00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:29,690
Where's Antonio?
480
00:18:29,690 --> 00:18:32,190
Uh... Joe, Brian, why don't
you tell everyone
481
00:18:32,190 --> 00:18:34,700
why we've called
this press conference.
482
00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:36,700
(softly):
Just stick to the script.
You'll be fine.
483
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,700
We'd just like to say
484
00:18:39,700 --> 00:18:42,200
that we were pucks.
485
00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:46,210
Please, give us
another shot.
486
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,710
Is this thing on?
487
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:55,720
Oh, look.
488
00:18:55,720 --> 00:18:56,720
Here's my
little friend now.
489
00:18:57,220 --> 00:18:58,220
Hiya, Danny.
490
00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:01,220
Just wanted to say
I'm sorry.
491
00:19:01,220 --> 00:19:03,730
I got to agree
with you there, pal.
492
00:19:03,730 --> 00:19:05,230
You're sorry,
all right.
493
00:19:05,230 --> 00:19:06,730
(laughter)
494
00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:09,230
Hey, Danny. Danny, will you ever
fly Sandpiper Air again?
495
00:19:09,230 --> 00:19:11,730
Well, that depends on
my good friend here,
496
00:19:11,730 --> 00:19:14,240
Antonio Sockpuppet.
497
00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:18,740
(chuckles)
Sockpuppet.
That's a good one.
498
00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:21,240
Actually, that would
be Scarpacci.
499
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:22,240
Whatever.
500
00:19:22,740 --> 00:19:25,750
Isn't there something
you have to say to me?
501
00:19:25,750 --> 00:19:29,250
Right. Uh... the puck
stops here.
502
00:19:29,250 --> 00:19:34,260
My goalie is to get out
of the penalty box with you.
503
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:36,260
Well, we'll see about
that, Scarpukey.
504
00:19:36,260 --> 00:19:37,260
(laughs)
505
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:41,260
This guy's a major
butt boil, isn't he?
506
00:19:41,260 --> 00:19:42,770
Major.
507
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:45,770
Danny, it is my honor
and privilege
508
00:19:45,770 --> 00:19:49,270
to present you with
the Royal Sandpiper ticket
509
00:19:49,270 --> 00:19:53,280
which is good for
lifetime travel
anywhere we fly.
510
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,780
Dead End, let's get a
picture of the two
of you together.
511
00:19:55,780 --> 00:19:56,780
Yeah, sure.
512
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:59,780
Me and my pal Antwerpio.
513
00:19:59,780 --> 00:20:02,780
See, in the real world,
a nobody like you
514
00:20:02,780 --> 00:20:05,290
doesn't mess with
a guy like me.
515
00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:10,790
Okay. A free ticket
anywhere Sandpiper flies.
516
00:20:11,290 --> 00:20:13,300
Where should I go first?
517
00:20:13,300 --> 00:20:15,800
Well, let's see...
518
00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:18,800
how about straight to hell,
you arrogant piece of dirt.
519
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,300
Hey, what do you think
you're doing?
520
00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:22,300
We're kicking your
sorry ass out of here!
521
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,810
Hey, nobody kicks
my sorry ass anywhere!
522
00:20:24,810 --> 00:20:25,810
You two idiots
523
00:20:25,810 --> 00:20:28,310
just put yourselves
out of business.
524
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:30,810
(reporters clamoring)
525
00:20:32,810 --> 00:20:34,320
Thank you.
526
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:42,830
If it's, uh...
527
00:20:43,330 --> 00:20:45,330
if it's any consolation,
528
00:20:45,330 --> 00:20:47,830
I've never felt closer
to you guys.
529
00:20:49,830 --> 00:20:51,830
Okay, one bacon and eggs,
530
00:20:51,830 --> 00:20:54,340
pork sausage for Brian
531
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:55,840
and ham and cheese
for Antonio.
532
00:20:56,340 --> 00:20:57,840
Shh. Shh. Shh. Shh.
533
00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:01,840
Apparently, we're a little fuzzy
on what going underground means.
534
00:21:03,350 --> 00:21:05,850
(Roy laughing)
535
00:21:06,350 --> 00:21:08,850
Oh, good disguise.
536
00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:11,350
Oh, you blend right in.
537
00:21:11,350 --> 00:21:13,360
By the way, guys,
in case you're interested
538
00:21:13,860 --> 00:21:15,360
the news is on.
539
00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,860
They're doing a piece
on Connelly.
540
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:19,860
Once again,
the big story in sports
541
00:21:19,860 --> 00:21:21,360
is Danny "Dead End" Connelly.
542
00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:23,870
In a stunning development,
Connelly has left the Bruins
543
00:21:23,870 --> 00:21:26,370
and signed a contract
with their archrivals,
544
00:21:26,370 --> 00:21:27,870
the New York Rangers.
545
00:21:27,870 --> 00:21:29,870
Needless to say, Connelly
is no longer the most popular
546
00:21:29,870 --> 00:21:31,370
sports figure in Beantown.
547
00:21:31,370 --> 00:21:35,380
(people shouting)
548
00:21:37,380 --> 00:21:39,380
And you were worried?
549
00:21:45,050 --> 00:21:48,890
ROY:
Then on Friday nights,
I pop in a TV dinner.
550
00:21:48,890 --> 00:21:51,390
My favorite
is the salisbury steak.
551
00:21:51,390 --> 00:21:52,390
(chuckles)
552
00:21:52,390 --> 00:21:54,400
Mind you, I don't always have
salisbury steak.
553
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,900
Sometimes I have
the yankee pot roast.
554
00:21:56,900 --> 00:21:58,900
Uh-huh.
555
00:21:58,900 --> 00:22:01,900
The dessert with that one
is a cherry cobbler.
556
00:22:01,900 --> 00:22:06,410
I actually prefer
the apple brown Betty.
557
00:22:06,410 --> 00:22:07,910
Uh-huh.
558
00:22:07,910 --> 00:22:10,410
I'm not boring you, am I?
559
00:22:10,410 --> 00:22:12,920
Yes, it's torture.
560
00:22:12,910 --> 00:22:15,420
Please go on.
39179
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof