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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,067 --> 00:00:06,696 Hi. My name is Howard Moon. This is my apprentice, Vince Noir. 2 00:00:06,785 --> 00:00:09,660 Apprentice? Get stuffed. You're my apprentice. 3 00:00:09,744 --> 00:00:11,619 -Don't start showing out. -Or what? 4 00:00:11,703 --> 00:00:14,216 I'll come at you fast, like a Northern bullet. 5 00:00:14,302 --> 00:00:18,373 -I'll put a move on you. -I've felt your moves. 6 00:00:18,460 --> 00:00:21,451 They're like being caressed with a natural yogurt. 7 00:00:21,539 --> 00:00:23,848 I've got new, powerful moves now. 8 00:00:23,938 --> 00:00:26,733 Yeah? Did you send off for some new ones? 9 00:00:26,817 --> 00:00:29,968 -Yes. They arrived this morning. -First post? 10 00:00:30,056 --> 00:00:33,445 -Yeah. The post that hurts the most. -Well, come on, then. 11 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:37,408 I'll take you out for a meal with Mr. and Mrs. Pain. 12 00:00:37,492 --> 00:00:39,960 -[SCOFFS] -Order up some violent quiche. 13 00:00:40,051 --> 00:00:42,008 -Do you want some? -Come on. 14 00:00:43,730 --> 00:00:46,118 What's that? That's nothing. 15 00:00:46,209 --> 00:00:49,359 Feels like nothing. But that's the vibrating palm. 16 00:00:49,447 --> 00:00:54,076 Two hours from now you'll go to a shop, buy a hat, it won't suit you. Ow! 17 00:00:54,165 --> 00:00:57,873 There's no way. Look at me. My hair's virtually a hat. 18 00:00:57,964 --> 00:01:00,273 -All hats suit me. -You'll see. 19 00:01:00,363 --> 00:01:02,512 -Yeah. I will. -Enjoy the show. 20 00:01:08,479 --> 00:01:11,834 …to the world of the Mighty Boosh. 21 00:01:12,678 --> 00:01:17,625 -♪ Come with us to the Mighty Boosh ♪ -♪ The Mighty Boosh ♪ 22 00:01:17,716 --> 00:01:22,390 ♪ Come with us to the Mighty Boosh ♪ 23 00:01:26,592 --> 00:01:29,105 -All right? -All right. 24 00:01:29,191 --> 00:01:31,181 Did Mrs. Gideon ring for me? 25 00:01:31,270 --> 00:01:36,217 As if she's gonna ring for you. Oh, I mean, she might do. 26 00:01:36,308 --> 00:01:39,343 Yeah, why would she ring for me? She thinks I'm an idiot. 27 00:01:39,427 --> 00:01:42,736 Come on, there's plenty of reasons why she wouldn't ring. 28 00:01:42,825 --> 00:01:45,816 Maybe she's trapped in a cabinet. 29 00:01:45,904 --> 00:01:48,779 She doesn't get trapped in cabinets, okay? 30 00:01:48,863 --> 00:01:52,737 People get trapped in cabinets all the time. Doctors, dentists, lawyers. 31 00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:56,528 Haven't you seen the show? "Captain Cabinets, trapped in cabinets." 32 00:01:56,619 --> 00:02:00,054 "Can he get out? Will he get out?" Yes, I have seen it. 33 00:02:00,138 --> 00:02:01,810 She's over there. 34 00:02:01,897 --> 00:02:04,772 -Oh, yeah. -There she is. 35 00:02:04,856 --> 00:02:06,448 [ORCHESTRA PLAYING] 36 00:02:06,535 --> 00:02:11,607 Oh, sweet lady With your face like a cream oval 37 00:02:12,453 --> 00:02:16,888 And your nose like a delicious slope of cream 38 00:02:17,970 --> 00:02:22,042 Your ears like… cream flaps 39 00:02:22,129 --> 00:02:27,882 And your teeth like hard, shiny pegs of cream… 40 00:02:27,966 --> 00:02:29,525 [BLENDER WHIRRING] 41 00:02:32,364 --> 00:02:33,798 Do you mind? 42 00:02:33,884 --> 00:02:37,114 -Mm? -Doing a poem. For Mrs. Gideon. 43 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:47,194 Come on. I think you're going about it all the wrong way with Gideon. 44 00:02:47,278 --> 00:02:50,473 -What do you mean? -You ask her out, she says no. 45 00:02:50,557 --> 00:02:55,629 And you hang about her garden all night, weeping into her fishpond. 46 00:02:55,715 --> 00:02:58,909 -How do you know? -It's in all the papers. 47 00:02:58,993 --> 00:03:02,906 "Man kills koi carp with human tears." Pages 4-44. 48 00:03:02,992 --> 00:03:06,026 They interviewed one of the carp. He was furious. 49 00:03:06,110 --> 00:03:09,386 Oh, It's all salty. I'm freshwater. 50 00:03:11,188 --> 00:03:15,067 I don't think you understand women. What do you think women like? 51 00:03:17,346 --> 00:03:19,859 -Trumpets? -Trumpets? 52 00:03:20,624 --> 00:03:24,378 -Bookmarks. -They like edgy characters. 53 00:03:24,463 --> 00:03:27,018 -I've got edge. -You're as edgy as a satsuma. 54 00:03:27,102 --> 00:03:30,695 I'm a crazy man. I'm a nut job. I'm a freak ball. 55 00:03:30,780 --> 00:03:33,335 I break through all boundaries. 56 00:03:33,419 --> 00:03:35,932 If I see a boundary, I eat a boundary 57 00:03:36,018 --> 00:03:39,248 and wash it down with a cup of hot, steaming rules. 58 00:03:39,337 --> 00:03:41,646 [ANIMALS CHATTER, SCREECH] 59 00:03:41,736 --> 00:03:43,931 [SIGHS] 60 00:03:50,812 --> 00:03:51,767 [FEEDBACK] 61 00:03:51,851 --> 00:03:55,445 MR FOSSIL: Moon, come to my office right now. Thank you. 62 00:03:55,530 --> 00:03:59,203 -Run along, Danger Mouse. -I'm not running along to Fossil. 63 00:03:59,288 --> 00:04:02,837 -I'll go in my own sweet time. -You're Fossil's bitch. 64 00:04:02,927 --> 00:04:06,961 -That's the word on the street. -Who are you? T-Bone Wilson? 65 00:04:07,045 --> 00:04:11,799 Leroy saw you dancing for Fossil in the moonlight, in little blue pants. 66 00:04:11,883 --> 00:04:13,518 I don't dance for Fossil. 67 00:04:13,602 --> 00:04:15,990 He gave you coin, you gave him booty. 68 00:04:16,081 --> 00:04:20,153 Listen, I was playing Fossil like a pipe. Yeah? 69 00:04:20,239 --> 00:04:23,194 -Whatever. -I was putting a move on him. 70 00:04:23,278 --> 00:04:25,507 As if your moves work. 71 00:04:27,037 --> 00:04:29,710 -Nice hat. -Thanks. 72 00:04:29,796 --> 00:04:33,469 -[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] -Yeah, I got the moves. 73 00:04:33,554 --> 00:04:37,508 I don't run along to Fossil. Go in my own time. 74 00:04:37,592 --> 00:04:39,787 FOSSIL: I won't tell you again, my bitch. 75 00:04:39,871 --> 00:04:42,510 I had to see him about something anyway. 76 00:04:45,189 --> 00:04:48,067 ["DREADLOCK HOLIDAY" BY 10CC PLAYING] 77 00:04:56,984 --> 00:04:59,782 ♪ I was walkin' in Downing Street ♪ 78 00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:04,334 ♪ Concentratin' on truckin' right ♪ 79 00:05:05,940 --> 00:05:08,772 ♪ I heard a dark voice beside of me ♪ 80 00:05:10,379 --> 00:05:13,495 ♪ And I looked round in a state off right ♪ 81 00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:17,452 ♪ I saw four faces, one man ♪ 82 00:05:17,536 --> 00:05:20,208 ♪ A brother from the gutter ♪ 83 00:05:20,294 --> 00:05:24,002 ♪ They looked me up and down a bit, and turned to each other ♪ 84 00:05:27,971 --> 00:05:30,166 ♪ I say, I don't like cricket… ♪ 85 00:05:30,250 --> 00:05:32,638 That's why I don't like cricket. 86 00:05:33,569 --> 00:05:36,401 -Was there anything else, Mr. Fossil? -Oh. 87 00:05:36,488 --> 00:05:39,282 You know those guys with the little hands? 88 00:05:39,366 --> 00:05:42,161 You know, with the big pockets? 89 00:05:42,245 --> 00:05:46,999 With the little version of themselves in the front pocket. 90 00:05:48,483 --> 00:05:50,632 -Kangaroo. -Yeah. 91 00:05:50,722 --> 00:05:54,190 Anyways, we can make 'em fight, make lots of money. 92 00:05:54,280 --> 00:05:56,350 That's against my principles. 93 00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,714 Animals should never be made to fight one another. 94 00:05:59,798 --> 00:06:02,710 Not one another, glossy dick. You! 95 00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:07,151 Me? I'm not doing that. No way am I fighting a kangaroo. 96 00:06:07,235 --> 00:06:10,749 How about, Moon, I give you this… cup? 97 00:06:10,833 --> 00:06:12,789 It's polystyrene. 98 00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:15,465 That's not gonna swing it, Mr. Fossil. 99 00:06:16,991 --> 00:06:18,946 All right. 100 00:06:19,030 --> 00:06:21,384 I didn't wanna have to do this, Moon, 101 00:06:21,469 --> 00:06:25,343 but I've got pictures of you nude. That's right. 102 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:29,056 I'm gonna put 'em all over my body and run around the zoo. 103 00:06:29,146 --> 00:06:30,658 You can't do this. 104 00:06:30,745 --> 00:06:35,453 Oh, yeah? I got a Xerox machine that says I can. 105 00:06:35,543 --> 00:06:37,897 Your fight's in two days, Moon. 106 00:06:39,301 --> 00:06:42,099 Note to self. Pocket cup. 107 00:06:44,899 --> 00:06:45,855 Mm. 108 00:06:50,137 --> 00:06:51,570 [BIG CATS GROWLING] 109 00:06:52,656 --> 00:06:54,566 -Hey. -Hey. 110 00:06:54,655 --> 00:06:57,610 -How'd it go with Fossil? -Well, not great. 111 00:06:57,694 --> 00:07:01,845 What he wants me to do is fight with a kangaroo. To make money. 112 00:07:01,932 --> 00:07:04,764 -A kangaroo? -Me, one on one with a kangaroo. 113 00:07:04,851 --> 00:07:08,725 -You'll get your head smashed off. -I know. I'm not doing it. 114 00:07:08,809 --> 00:07:11,364 But he's got pictures of me naked. 115 00:07:11,448 --> 00:07:14,917 Which he's says he's gonna put up if I don't fight. 116 00:07:15,007 --> 00:07:18,714 I've got nothing to be ashamed of but It's embarrassing. 117 00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:23,513 We see pictures of naked people all the time. It's not… Oh, Christ! 118 00:07:23,603 --> 00:07:25,354 -What? -What's that? 119 00:07:25,442 --> 00:07:27,397 -Everyone's got that. -No, there. 120 00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:30,154 -It's just normal. -You're a freak! 121 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:33,072 -It's just… -I don't wanna see it live! 122 00:07:33,159 --> 00:07:35,434 -It's just that. Vince. -Get away! 123 00:07:35,518 --> 00:07:38,393 -Vince! -You're not right! Get away. 124 00:07:38,477 --> 00:07:40,433 [GROWLING] 125 00:07:41,076 --> 00:07:43,032 [ELECTRONIC BALLAD PLAYING] 126 00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:50,224 ♪ Disfigured and alone ♪ 127 00:07:52,671 --> 00:07:56,025 ♪ Crawling in the shadows ♪ 128 00:07:57,989 --> 00:08:00,900 ♪ Must I live like a freak? ♪ 129 00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:06,059 ♪ Deformed, useless and embarrassed ♪ 130 00:08:11,263 --> 00:08:13,538 ♪ Freak, freak ♪ 131 00:08:22,538 --> 00:08:24,495 [MONKEY GIBBERS] 132 00:08:25,897 --> 00:08:27,853 Mind if I sit down? 133 00:08:30,215 --> 00:08:32,171 What are we gonna do? 134 00:08:33,214 --> 00:08:36,285 Have you thought about joining the circus? 135 00:08:37,332 --> 00:08:41,287 -Do something, or we're in trouble. -How are you in trouble? 136 00:08:41,371 --> 00:08:43,766 Mick Jagger didn't hang out with the Elephant Man. 137 00:08:43,850 --> 00:08:46,601 What am I gonna do, more to the point? 138 00:08:46,688 --> 00:08:50,442 If Mrs. Gideon finds out about this, It's over for me. 139 00:08:50,527 --> 00:08:53,481 -What if you fight the kangaroo? -What? 140 00:08:53,565 --> 00:08:58,035 Imagine if you fight the kangaroo and beat it. You'll be dangerous. 141 00:08:58,124 --> 00:09:01,717 You'll have edge. Gideon'll be all over you like a flannel. 142 00:09:01,802 --> 00:09:03,597 -Good plan. -It's perfect. 143 00:09:03,681 --> 00:09:06,513 One problem. How do I beat a kangaroo? 144 00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,954 -I'll train you up. -You? 145 00:09:09,039 --> 00:09:11,994 -You'll train me up? -Yeah. I'm a Cockney bitch. 146 00:09:12,078 --> 00:09:14,512 I'm a ragamuffin from the streets. 147 00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:17,152 You're a French duke, if ever I saw one. 148 00:09:17,236 --> 00:09:21,023 -You lie around eating soft cheese. -I'm a chimney sweep. 149 00:09:21,114 --> 00:09:23,468 All my family are into boxing. 150 00:09:23,553 --> 00:09:26,385 All of them, even me auntie. She loves it. 151 00:09:26,472 --> 00:09:28,382 My family are nutters. 152 00:09:28,471 --> 00:09:32,542 My uncle once punched a man so hard his legs became trombones. 153 00:09:32,629 --> 00:09:35,780 The man had to leave the ring like this. 154 00:09:35,868 --> 00:09:38,620 [MAKES TROMBONE NOISES] 155 00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:45,020 -Are you gonna help me or dance? -Let's get going. 156 00:09:45,144 --> 00:09:47,976 -What's this? -I could only get one size. 157 00:09:48,063 --> 00:09:49,257 Your size. Nice. 158 00:09:49,342 --> 00:09:53,732 Carlos Santana wore these when he was training for Woodstock. 159 00:09:53,820 --> 00:09:58,414 -He could have washed them. -Let's check out your opponent. 160 00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:01,569 Got these videos off Naboo. Kangaroo videos. 161 00:10:07,135 --> 00:10:10,444 WOMAN [AUSTRALIAN ACCENT]: …fully grown kangaroo, if attacked, leans on its tail 162 00:10:10,533 --> 00:10:14,082 and using its hind legs, disembowels its prey in sec 163 00:10:14,172 --> 00:10:16,685 -[TAPE SPOOLS] -That's not true. 164 00:10:16,771 --> 00:10:19,726 …adult kangaroo can punch through solid steel… 165 00:10:19,810 --> 00:10:20,958 [TAPE SPOOLS] 166 00:10:21,049 --> 00:10:25,086 If a man was to fight a kangaroo, he would be immediately killed. 167 00:10:25,967 --> 00:10:28,355 It's not the video I was thinking of. 168 00:10:28,446 --> 00:10:30,197 This is the one. 169 00:10:32,724 --> 00:10:36,273 ♪ Skipper, Skipper, the kangaroo ♪ 170 00:10:36,363 --> 00:10:38,956 MAN [AUSTRALIAN ACCENT]: Skipper, you all right, mate? 171 00:10:39,041 --> 00:10:41,271 Skipper, you psycho, get off me! 172 00:10:41,361 --> 00:10:44,272 He's gone berserk! He's killing everyone! 173 00:10:44,359 --> 00:10:47,032 Skipper, no! I'm being disemboweled! 174 00:10:47,118 --> 00:10:48,753 [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY] 175 00:10:48,837 --> 00:10:52,032 Um… let's not concentrate on your opponent. 176 00:10:52,116 --> 00:10:55,267 Let's go to my uncle's gym. He'll know what to do. 177 00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:58,505 He's great. He knows everything about boxing. 178 00:11:01,792 --> 00:11:03,748 Come on, Carlos. 179 00:11:10,308 --> 00:11:12,345 Look at this place. 180 00:11:13,227 --> 00:11:15,422 Ah, just as I remember. 181 00:11:15,506 --> 00:11:17,735 The old ropes. All right, Ralph? 182 00:11:18,585 --> 00:11:21,576 -This is great. What do you reckon? -Smells a bit funny. 183 00:11:21,664 --> 00:11:23,415 -A bit funny? -Musty. 184 00:11:23,503 --> 00:11:27,893 The smell of brutish men, squirting out hot jets of man-foam. 185 00:11:27,981 --> 00:11:30,494 You'll be doing that. That's my uncle. 186 00:11:30,580 --> 00:11:32,968 Throw a net over him. All right. 187 00:11:33,059 --> 00:11:36,573 Take him out to dinner. Right. Don't kiss him! 188 00:11:36,657 --> 00:11:39,330 Let me have a word. You wait here. 189 00:11:40,256 --> 00:11:42,451 Oi! No women in here. 190 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,490 It's me. Vince. 191 00:11:44,574 --> 00:11:48,123 Vincie! I thought I'd lost you forever. 192 00:11:49,652 --> 00:11:54,440 It's nice to see you, but if you do that again I'll rip your eyes out. 193 00:11:54,530 --> 00:11:57,165 -I'm gonna be a boxing trainer. -Right. 194 00:11:57,249 --> 00:12:01,206 -This guy is my star pupil. -Let's have a look at him. 195 00:12:20,039 --> 00:12:22,030 He looks like a retard. 196 00:12:22,119 --> 00:12:25,153 -When's the fight? -Tomorrow night. 197 00:12:25,237 --> 00:12:29,070 There's only one way to get this boy ready for the fight. 198 00:12:29,156 --> 00:12:32,226 -Training montage. -With music. 199 00:12:32,314 --> 00:12:33,509 -Yeah! -Stop. 200 00:12:33,594 --> 00:12:35,869 ['60S ADVENTURE-FILM MUSIC] 201 00:12:52,426 --> 00:12:55,258 -Vincie. We've got a problem. -What is it? 202 00:12:55,345 --> 00:12:57,938 It's this cup. I don't know what to do with it. 203 00:12:58,024 --> 00:13:00,935 Sometimes I wish there was a kind of pocket cup 204 00:13:01,022 --> 00:13:03,737 that someone could invent, that you could drink… 205 00:13:03,821 --> 00:13:06,936 -What we gonna do with Howard? -Oh. He's hopeless. 206 00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:10,852 But I've got an idea. It's an old boxing trick. 207 00:13:10,938 --> 00:13:16,329 You build up his confidence by letting him beat a weaker opponent. 208 00:13:16,416 --> 00:13:17,644 -Yeah. -Nice. 209 00:13:17,735 --> 00:13:19,610 -I'll go get someone. -Great. 210 00:13:19,694 --> 00:13:21,844 Easy does it, Margaret. 211 00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:25,888 -Hey, Howard. -HOWARD: What's happening? 212 00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:29,043 We're down to the critical stages of your training now. 213 00:13:29,131 --> 00:13:30,882 -Right. -Sparring. 214 00:13:30,970 --> 00:13:33,722 Sparring. Okay. Who am I gonna fight? This guy here? 215 00:13:33,809 --> 00:13:38,083 I don't think so. He's way too dangerous. That's Micky the Fist. 216 00:13:38,167 --> 00:13:40,123 [GONG] 217 00:13:42,645 --> 00:13:44,440 What about this fella? 218 00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:46,878 -I don't think so. -He's more my standard. 219 00:13:46,963 --> 00:13:48,918 Not really. That's Jimmy the Reach. 220 00:13:49,002 --> 00:13:51,797 He doesn't look like much, but check out his arms. 221 00:13:51,881 --> 00:13:53,837 [INDIAN MUSIC PLAYING] 222 00:14:00,078 --> 00:14:03,626 -Okay. Who am I gonna fight, then? -Don't worry about it. 223 00:14:03,716 --> 00:14:08,834 My uncle's found someone with the exact proportions of your opponent. 224 00:14:15,671 --> 00:14:18,264 Yes! Whoa-ho! 225 00:14:18,350 --> 00:14:22,624 Whoa! Stay down! Stay down there, you little midget! 226 00:14:22,708 --> 00:14:25,583 -Loser! -Yes! Howard Moon! 227 00:14:25,667 --> 00:14:27,976 I rain down the pain, I'm Monsoon Moon. 228 00:14:28,066 --> 00:14:30,579 I'm comin' at you like a beam, like a laser. 229 00:14:30,665 --> 00:14:36,019 Don't try and stop me. I'm quick, like lightning. I'm frightening. Ow! 230 00:14:36,103 --> 00:14:38,854 You want a piece of me now? You got nothing! 231 00:14:38,941 --> 00:14:41,896 I'm going to have to teach you some manners, boy. 232 00:14:41,980 --> 00:14:44,289 Come on, then. Step into the "painy" season. 233 00:14:44,379 --> 00:14:48,413 -I beg your pardon? -Painy, rainy. Get with the I in go. 234 00:14:48,497 --> 00:14:50,931 Listen, you hooligan. I'm going to get you. 235 00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:55,168 Not today, but one day you will feel my pugilistic rage upon your face. 236 00:14:55,255 --> 00:14:58,723 -I always get my man. -Whatever. 237 00:14:58,813 --> 00:15:01,645 -Come on, I've got the moves. -Get out of there. 238 00:15:01,732 --> 00:15:04,883 He's seen what's going on. He saw my boy. 239 00:15:04,971 --> 00:15:07,605 -Whoo! -He saw the damage he did. 240 00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:09,760 -Whoo! -See you later. 241 00:15:09,849 --> 00:15:12,283 You do know he's gonna die, don't you? 242 00:15:12,367 --> 00:15:13,926 -Yeah. -Yeah. 243 00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,680 Monsoon Moon, they call me. 244 00:15:20,764 --> 00:15:24,437 What about Thunderstorm Moon? He comes in like a heavy shower of pain. 245 00:15:24,522 --> 00:15:26,831 -Nice. Or Hailstone Howard? -That's good. 246 00:15:26,921 --> 00:15:29,196 -Hey, Howard. Gideon. -Oh, yeah. 247 00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:32,195 -Tell her about the fight. -Right. 248 00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:35,474 -Be a bit cool. Don't be too eager. -Yeah. 249 00:15:35,558 --> 00:15:38,912 Hi, Mrs. Gideon. Big fight tomorrow for me. Hope you can make it. 250 00:15:38,996 --> 00:15:41,464 -Please come. Please. -Cooler. 251 00:15:41,555 --> 00:15:43,430 -Bitch. -Not that cool. 252 00:15:43,514 --> 00:15:45,266 Nice… bitch. 253 00:15:45,354 --> 00:15:47,390 Get out the way. I'll deal with this. 254 00:15:47,913 --> 00:15:49,664 -Hey, Mrs. Gideon. -Hello, Vince. 255 00:15:49,752 --> 00:15:51,503 -How's it going? -Oh, okay. 256 00:15:51,591 --> 00:15:54,104 -That's my boy. I'm training him up. -Oh. 257 00:15:54,190 --> 00:15:57,500 He's hot. Big fight tomorrow night. It's gonna be exciting. 258 00:15:57,589 --> 00:16:00,420 -Really? -I can get you a ringside ticket. 259 00:16:00,507 --> 00:16:04,056 Well, I'm not so sure. I don't really like violence. 260 00:16:04,146 --> 00:16:06,861 Right. Just out of interest, what do you like? 261 00:16:06,945 --> 00:16:09,413 -Trumpets. -Trumpets? 262 00:16:09,504 --> 00:16:13,336 -Trumpets and bookmarks. -Right. 263 00:16:16,261 --> 00:16:19,775 -Hey, Naboo. You gotta help me. -Where are my kangaroo videos? 264 00:16:19,859 --> 00:16:22,771 -Oh, I forgot 'em. Sorry. -That's a fine. 265 00:16:22,858 --> 00:16:24,609 -A fine? -Five euros. 266 00:16:24,697 --> 00:16:26,652 Whatever. Help me with Howard. 267 00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:29,648 -The Raging Bull? -More of a Demented Swan. 268 00:16:29,735 --> 00:16:33,329 He's gonna get killed. Is there anything you can do? 269 00:16:34,053 --> 00:16:36,010 [WHIRRING] 270 00:16:46,928 --> 00:16:49,123 What was that, you jack of clubs? 271 00:16:49,207 --> 00:16:52,836 I said could you help me, not blow dust in my eyes. 272 00:16:53,725 --> 00:16:56,398 It is magic dust. What is he, a muppet? 273 00:16:56,484 --> 00:16:58,918 [BIRDS COO, CRY] 274 00:16:59,003 --> 00:17:03,357 Howard, I've been thinking, yeah? I mean, you're a sensitive man. 275 00:17:03,441 --> 00:17:05,476 Do you really wanna be fighting? 276 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:10,075 I mean, you're a pacifist. You're Britain's leading cream poet. 277 00:17:10,918 --> 00:17:14,273 That's loser talk, Vince. The cream days are over. 278 00:17:14,357 --> 00:17:16,347 I've gone off, curdled, Vince. 279 00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:20,029 I've got my edge back. That's the word on the street now. 280 00:17:20,114 --> 00:17:24,228 Nobody's bitch no more. I'm Howard Moon. Monsoon Moon. 281 00:17:24,312 --> 00:17:28,544 Tomorrow night I'm gonna be fighting a vicious, vicious animal. 282 00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:31,860 It could kill me in an instant but It's not gonna, 283 00:17:31,949 --> 00:17:33,985 because you trained me up. 284 00:17:35,428 --> 00:17:39,542 You gave me that confidence, Vince. You believed in me. 285 00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:42,617 I wouldn't be fighting tomorrow if it wasn't for you. 286 00:17:42,705 --> 00:17:46,298 Funny that, innit? It's all down to you. You. 287 00:17:46,383 --> 00:17:50,659 -[CLOCK TICKING] -[ECHOING] You. You. You. 288 00:17:52,141 --> 00:17:54,097 [GROWLING DIDGERIDOO PLAYING] 289 00:18:00,257 --> 00:18:02,214 -[ANIMALS CRY] -[WIND HOWLS] 290 00:18:11,453 --> 00:18:13,204 [TUNEFUL BLEEPS] 291 00:18:16,451 --> 00:18:18,282 [TUNEFUL BLEEPS] 292 00:18:19,889 --> 00:18:21,845 [WIND HOWLING] 293 00:18:49,757 --> 00:18:51,394 [PERCUSSION PLAYING] 294 00:19:07,349 --> 00:19:09,386 [FUNKY BASS LINE PLAYING] 295 00:19:15,946 --> 00:19:18,016 ♪ How do you gets to kill a roo? ♪ 296 00:19:18,105 --> 00:19:20,175 ♪ It's all you have to do ♪ 297 00:19:20,264 --> 00:19:23,494 ♪ How do you gets to kill a roo? It's all you have to do ♪ 298 00:19:23,583 --> 00:19:26,812 ♪ Yeah, tell me now, how do you gets to kill a roo? ♪ 299 00:19:26,901 --> 00:19:29,130 ♪ It's all you have to do ♪ 300 00:19:29,220 --> 00:19:32,575 ♪ How do you gets to kill a roo? It's all you have to do ♪ 301 00:19:32,659 --> 00:19:35,094 ♪ Yeah, tell me now, how do you gets to kill a roo? ♪ 302 00:19:35,178 --> 00:19:37,532 ♪ It's all you have to do ♪ 303 00:19:37,617 --> 00:19:41,085 ♪ How do you gets to kill a roo? It's all you have to do ♪ 304 00:19:41,175 --> 00:19:43,927 ♪ Yeah, domino, how do you gets to kill a roo? ♪ 305 00:19:44,014 --> 00:19:45,970 ♪ It's all you have to do ♪ 306 00:19:46,813 --> 00:19:49,486 ♪ How do you gets to kill a roo? ♪ 307 00:19:50,332 --> 00:19:52,367 -Oh! -Morning. 308 00:19:52,451 --> 00:19:56,522 -Oh, I had this really weird dream. -Oh, yeah? 309 00:19:56,609 --> 00:19:58,599 Weird images. To do with the fight. 310 00:19:58,688 --> 00:20:01,839 Don't worry about that. Dreams don't mean anything. 311 00:20:01,927 --> 00:20:04,315 -Grapefruit? -[DIDGERIDOO PLAYS] 312 00:20:05,925 --> 00:20:07,676 -No. -Eggs? 313 00:20:07,764 --> 00:20:09,720 [DIDGERIDOO PLAYS] 314 00:20:10,883 --> 00:20:14,113 -Didgeridoo? -[DIDGERIDOO PLAYS] 315 00:20:14,202 --> 00:20:18,114 -Get up. Let's get ready. -All right. 316 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,554 -What are you wearing tonight? -Why? 317 00:20:20,639 --> 00:20:23,073 -Nothing outlandish, okay? -All right. 318 00:20:23,158 --> 00:20:25,033 -I'm the star. -Fine. 319 00:20:25,117 --> 00:20:28,791 -Don't want you pulling focus on me. -You're the star. It'll be fine. 320 00:20:31,834 --> 00:20:35,029 What are you wearing? I told you not to pull focus. 321 00:20:35,113 --> 00:20:38,068 No one's looking at me. You're the star of the show. 322 00:20:38,152 --> 00:20:41,461 -Can I have your autograph, please? -Not now. 323 00:20:41,550 --> 00:20:45,144 I'm the fighter, you little tit-box. All right. Easy. 324 00:20:45,229 --> 00:20:47,504 Welcome to the Zooniverse 325 00:20:47,588 --> 00:20:51,782 first annual shady underground boxing competition! 326 00:20:51,866 --> 00:20:58,619 Heading to the plate, weighing in at 380 pounds… 327 00:20:58,703 --> 00:21:04,094 After 212 kills, 147 disembowelments, 328 00:21:04,181 --> 00:21:10,333 wanted in 18 countries for eating a man's face right off his skull, 329 00:21:10,418 --> 00:21:17,418 the antipodean killing machine, the Killeroo! 330 00:21:18,455 --> 00:21:20,411 [CHEERING] 331 00:21:21,573 --> 00:21:24,528 -I didn't know anything about that. -It's just hype. 332 00:21:24,612 --> 00:21:28,806 You'll get the same treatment. Wait till you hear your introduction. 333 00:21:28,890 --> 00:21:35,890 And… fighting the Killeroo, Howard Moon! 334 00:21:37,047 --> 00:21:39,196 Former male prostitute. 335 00:21:39,286 --> 00:21:41,242 [SILENCE] 336 00:21:48,442 --> 00:21:53,230 With me ringside is Joey Moose, our marsupial expert at the Zooniverse. 337 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:55,230 Joey, take it away. 338 00:21:55,319 --> 00:21:59,027 [AUSTRALIAN ACCENT] The kangaroo is a magnificent animal. 339 00:21:59,118 --> 00:22:02,905 -Now, this fella's… -[ECHOING GROWL] 340 00:22:03,876 --> 00:22:05,751 -Ow! -Let's get you loosened up. 341 00:22:05,835 --> 00:22:08,189 -Not so harsh. -You've got a knot there. 342 00:22:08,274 --> 00:22:09,547 That hurts. Easy! 343 00:22:09,633 --> 00:22:14,705 And your referee today is Naboo, the shaman and kiosk-vendor. 344 00:22:14,791 --> 00:22:19,145 I want a clean fight. No biting, no kicking, nothing below the tail. 345 00:22:19,229 --> 00:22:21,379 Touch gloves. 346 00:22:21,469 --> 00:22:23,778 -With the roo. -[GRUNTS] 347 00:22:23,868 --> 00:22:26,619 -The bell is about to ring. -[RINGS] 348 00:22:26,706 --> 00:22:28,661 [CHEERING] 349 00:22:28,745 --> 00:22:30,975 [GROWLS, SQUAWKS] 350 00:22:39,181 --> 00:22:42,013 Go on, my son! 351 00:22:42,100 --> 00:22:44,056 [WHISTLING] 352 00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:53,011 Get in there, slap him! Howard, come on! 353 00:22:53,095 --> 00:22:55,563 What you doing? Stop dancing. Move in! 354 00:22:55,654 --> 00:22:59,328 Come on, grab his fur. Go on, Howard! 355 00:23:01,092 --> 00:23:04,049 -[CHEERING] -Go on! 356 00:23:09,329 --> 00:23:11,887 [DIDGERIDOO PLAYS, TUNEFUL BLEEPS] 357 00:23:16,406 --> 00:23:20,875 Now, that was possibly the weakest start to a boxing match ever. 358 00:23:20,964 --> 00:23:24,034 But don't worry. Dance around a bit. Bob and weave, okay? 359 00:23:24,122 --> 00:23:27,591 And keep him at bay with your jab, all right? 360 00:23:27,681 --> 00:23:30,636 Punch him in the snout, all right? Howard. Howard? 361 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,675 Have you come about the croutons? 362 00:23:32,759 --> 00:23:34,634 Just punch the big mouse. 363 00:23:34,718 --> 00:23:36,593 We're about to start round two. 364 00:23:36,677 --> 00:23:38,667 -[BELL] -Go on! 365 00:23:39,436 --> 00:23:41,108 [SCREECHES] 366 00:23:56,869 --> 00:24:01,225 He's down! Oh, my God, he's down like a clown! 367 00:24:03,146 --> 00:24:05,941 [CHOIR SINGING MOZART'S "REQUIEM"] ♪ Dies irae ♪ 368 00:24:06,025 --> 00:24:10,939 ♪ Dies illa, solvet saeclum in favilla ♪ 369 00:24:11,023 --> 00:24:14,094 ♪ Teste David cum Sybilla ♪ 370 00:24:15,781 --> 00:24:19,975 ♪ Quantus tremor est futurus ♪ 371 00:24:20,059 --> 00:24:24,130 ♪ Quando judex est venturus ♪ 372 00:24:24,217 --> 00:24:28,766 ♪ Cuncta stricte discussurus… ♪ 373 00:24:30,974 --> 00:24:32,806 Oh! Moon is up! 374 00:24:32,894 --> 00:24:36,089 Oh, my God! How resilient is this? 375 00:24:37,492 --> 00:24:41,245 -There's been a terrible mix-up. -What are you talking about? 376 00:24:41,330 --> 00:24:44,959 I don't know anything about boxing. I'm a French duke. 377 00:24:45,049 --> 00:24:47,562 What? What about your uncle? He trained me up. 378 00:24:47,648 --> 00:24:49,843 That wasn't my uncle. That's my uncle. 379 00:24:49,927 --> 00:24:52,202 [BAROQUE MUSIC PLAYING] 380 00:24:53,045 --> 00:24:55,194 I don't care. It's gone too far. 381 00:24:55,284 --> 00:24:58,958 I'm Monsoon Moon and there's a pain storm a-brewing. 382 00:24:59,043 --> 00:25:00,999 [BELL DINGS] 383 00:25:10,118 --> 00:25:12,393 Moon is up against the ropes. 384 00:25:12,477 --> 00:25:14,831 He's being pummeled left and right. 385 00:25:14,916 --> 00:25:17,270 This is a real bloodbath! 386 00:25:17,355 --> 00:25:19,664 Joey, would you stop eating those tomatoes? 387 00:25:19,754 --> 00:25:22,142 I can't believe what's going on here! 388 00:25:23,353 --> 00:25:26,867 -[SPECTATORS SHOUTING] -He's gonna eat his face off! 389 00:25:26,951 --> 00:25:28,782 I can't wait! 390 00:25:38,546 --> 00:25:41,139 [DIDGERIDOO PLAYS] 391 00:25:41,225 --> 00:25:44,057 [TUNEFUL BLEEPS] 392 00:25:50,461 --> 00:25:53,896 VINCE: The images! What do they mean? 393 00:25:53,980 --> 00:25:57,687 -How do you kill a roo? -His balls, man. 394 00:25:58,658 --> 00:26:01,490 Grab his flamin' balls. 395 00:26:01,577 --> 00:26:03,089 Right. 396 00:26:03,176 --> 00:26:05,051 Christ, you're thick. 397 00:26:05,135 --> 00:26:08,330 -[SPECTATORS SHOUTING] -[CRUNCHING] 398 00:26:08,414 --> 00:26:10,609 [SCREAMS] 399 00:26:10,693 --> 00:26:13,923 Now, Howard! Now! 400 00:26:16,690 --> 00:26:18,203 [THUD] 401 00:26:20,529 --> 00:26:24,883 Moon must have gotten a punch in! This is not supposed to happen! 402 00:26:24,967 --> 00:26:27,435 What's going on? 403 00:26:27,526 --> 00:26:29,482 [CHEERING, WHISTLING] 404 00:26:38,081 --> 00:26:41,152 Gideon! Gideon! 405 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:45,274 Gideon! Gideon! 406 00:26:45,358 --> 00:26:49,066 I'm Moon! Monsoon Moon! Raining down! 407 00:26:49,917 --> 00:26:51,792 Whoo-hoo! 408 00:26:51,876 --> 00:26:55,663 Gideon! Gideon! Gideon! 409 00:26:55,754 --> 00:26:57,585 No! No! 410 00:26:57,673 --> 00:26:59,389 Whoo! 411 00:26:59,473 --> 00:27:01,224 [SUDDEN SILENCE] 412 00:27:16,705 --> 00:27:18,775 Phew! Hope you enjoyed the show. 413 00:27:18,864 --> 00:27:21,014 I displayed some powerful moves. 414 00:27:21,104 --> 00:27:24,936 You'd have got your head smashed off if it weren't for me. 415 00:27:25,022 --> 00:27:26,773 Whatever. I came out on top. 416 00:27:26,861 --> 00:27:30,091 Ain't nobody who can touch me. I'm Monsoon Moon. I… 417 00:27:34,258 --> 00:27:36,214 I always get my man. 418 00:27:38,616 --> 00:27:40,447 Goodbye. 419 00:27:40,535 --> 00:27:42,810 The show is finished now. Go on. 420 00:27:42,894 --> 00:27:45,806 Get away. Sling your hook. 421 00:27:45,893 --> 00:27:48,042 Show finished. It's all over. 422 00:27:48,132 --> 00:27:51,726 What are you looking at? It's all over! Get away. 33409

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