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1
00:01:38,948 --> 00:01:41,416
May I have your
attention, please?
2
00:01:41,451 --> 00:01:43,251
God knows, I hate to interrupt
3
00:01:43,287 --> 00:01:47,289
the important conversations
I know you're all having,
4
00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:51,560
but someone special
is retiring today
5
00:01:51,595 --> 00:01:55,463
after 41 years with
Sunshine Cabs.
6
00:01:55,499 --> 00:01:58,700
These are the last receipts
7
00:01:58,735 --> 00:02:05,006
that will ever be turned in
by our old friend Maxie...
8
00:02:07,311 --> 00:02:09,311
What is that, "Mulch"?
9
00:02:09,346 --> 00:02:11,313
Mulcher?
10
00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:12,581
Melcher.
11
00:02:12,616 --> 00:02:13,582
Terrible handwriting.
12
00:02:13,617 --> 00:02:16,351
Nerves go first, huh, Maxie?
13
00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:22,957
Anyway, it's customary,
when a person retires
14
00:02:22,992 --> 00:02:25,660
to present them
with a little gift
15
00:02:25,696 --> 00:02:28,663
to help them keep
track of the time.
16
00:02:28,699 --> 00:02:30,665
So here you are, Maxie,
17
00:02:30,701 --> 00:02:37,105
a lovely calendar
depicting 12 different scenes
18
00:02:37,140 --> 00:02:39,874
of American highways.
19
00:02:39,909 --> 00:02:41,676
Use it in good health.
20
00:02:50,554 --> 00:02:51,953
Thank you.
21
00:02:51,988 --> 00:02:58,860
You know, a lot of
you... Rodriguez, 993.
22
00:02:58,895 --> 00:03:03,598
Murphy... Louie... Beat it, Max.
23
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:07,569
Look, uh, Jeff,
24
00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:11,606
if anybody wants
me, I'll be in the library.
25
00:03:22,686 --> 00:03:24,786
Just act natural
26
00:03:24,821 --> 00:03:26,266
and don't make a fuss over this.
27
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:28,523
Over a briefcase?
28
00:03:28,558 --> 00:03:30,770
This isn't any
briefcase, Elaine.
29
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:32,272
I was cruising the
Broadway District,
30
00:03:32,296 --> 00:03:33,795
like I do on Thursdays,
31
00:03:33,830 --> 00:03:35,007
you know, hoping
to make a contact.
32
00:03:35,031 --> 00:03:36,142
The guy I picked up
33
00:03:36,166 --> 00:03:38,478
left this in the back
of the cab, right?
34
00:03:38,502 --> 00:03:40,680
And I was thinking that
maybe there's a chance this guy
35
00:03:40,704 --> 00:03:42,582
might be important in
the theater, you know?
36
00:03:42,606 --> 00:03:44,384
Oh, and he's going
to owe you a favor
37
00:03:44,408 --> 00:03:45,674
for returning this, right?
38
00:03:45,709 --> 00:03:47,409
Hey, Elaine, you know,
39
00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:49,021
there are a lot of ways
to make it in the theater,
40
00:03:49,045 --> 00:03:50,390
and if being nice
is one of them,
41
00:03:50,414 --> 00:03:51,680
I'm willing to give it a shot.
42
00:03:51,715 --> 00:03:52,947
Beautiful thought, Bob.
43
00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:54,093
Beautifully put. Thanks.
44
00:03:54,117 --> 00:03:55,317
Hey, what's up?
45
00:03:55,352 --> 00:03:57,229
Shh. I don't want
Louie to know about this.
46
00:03:57,253 --> 00:03:58,931
I found it in the
back of my cab.
47
00:03:58,955 --> 00:04:01,856
You have that, too, huh?
48
00:04:01,891 --> 00:04:06,227
I'm always finding stuff
people leave behind...
49
00:04:06,262 --> 00:04:13,435
Old magazines,
gloves, meat... Meat?
50
00:04:13,470 --> 00:04:16,270
Not good meat... chewy.
51
00:04:16,306 --> 00:04:17,639
Oh.
52
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:21,443
Jim, sit down.
53
00:04:21,478 --> 00:04:23,623
Anyway, if I'm
going to return this
54
00:04:23,647 --> 00:04:24,824
I got to get it unlocked
55
00:04:24,848 --> 00:04:26,359
to find out who it belongs to,
56
00:04:26,383 --> 00:04:28,561
but I've been trying,
and I can't do it.
57
00:04:28,585 --> 00:04:29,696
I thought the rule was,
58
00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,531
anything you find in a cab,
you got to turn in to Louie.
59
00:04:31,555 --> 00:04:33,621
Anything that goes
into Louie's cage
60
00:04:33,657 --> 00:04:35,234
vanishes from the
face of the earth.
61
00:04:35,258 --> 00:04:38,560
Yes, with the definite
exception of Louie himself.
62
00:04:38,595 --> 00:04:41,162
Hey, you know what? There
are initials on this... N.Z.
63
00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:42,964
Norman Zelnick!
64
00:04:42,999 --> 00:04:45,299
My God.
65
00:04:45,335 --> 00:04:46,801
Who's Norman Zelnick?
66
00:04:46,837 --> 00:04:49,237
I was hoping one
of you would know.
67
00:04:49,272 --> 00:04:51,573
Geeze.
68
00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:59,681
All right, so I guess we're just
gonna have to bust it open, huh?
69
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:02,061
No, no, no, Tony. I don't
want to ruin the case.
70
00:05:02,085 --> 00:05:03,951
Ooh... Latka's a mechanic.
71
00:05:03,987 --> 00:05:05,164
He's got to have
something that can open this.
72
00:05:05,188 --> 00:05:06,521
Yeah, that's right.
73
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:07,522
Latka, come here.
74
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:08,523
What?
75
00:05:08,558 --> 00:05:09,736
Take a look at this case.
76
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:11,325
You think you can open it?
77
00:05:11,361 --> 00:05:12,494
Oh, sure, I can.
78
00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:14,396
I have just the right tool.
79
00:05:15,532 --> 00:05:17,866
Give him a chance,
give him a chance.
80
00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:21,536
Latka!
81
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:23,538
What the hell is this, Iwo Jima?
82
00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:26,374
What's going on here?
83
00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:29,243
Louie, Louie, I
found this briefcase
84
00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:30,356
in the back of my cab
85
00:05:30,380 --> 00:05:32,514
and you're not getting it.
86
00:05:32,549 --> 00:05:35,249
Well, why don't you open
it and find out whose it is?
87
00:05:35,285 --> 00:05:37,652
Oh, you think it's
that easy, huh?
88
00:05:37,687 --> 00:05:41,122
Well, I've been trying, I
been trying and I can't do it.
89
00:05:41,157 --> 00:05:42,234
I'll open it for you.
90
00:05:42,258 --> 00:05:45,960
Yeah, what makes you
think you can open it?
91
00:06:23,366 --> 00:06:26,000
Ten bucks, Wheeler.
92
00:06:27,337 --> 00:06:29,370
All right, ten bucks.
93
00:06:29,405 --> 00:06:31,473
Easy to come by.
94
00:06:31,508 --> 00:06:32,518
Do your worst.
95
00:06:32,542 --> 00:06:34,175
Pleasure doing
business with you.
96
00:06:34,210 --> 00:06:36,491
All right. Come on, come on.
97
00:06:46,055 --> 00:06:48,556
Okay, okay...
98
00:06:48,592 --> 00:06:49,869
you ain't getting anything
that's in there, Louie.
99
00:06:49,893 --> 00:06:50,903
What? What?
100
00:06:50,927 --> 00:06:52,137
What? What? Come on, now,
101
00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:53,305
you got your money.
Now, get out of here.
102
00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:55,007
Go! Shoo! Shoo!
Scram, mush, mush!
103
00:06:55,031 --> 00:06:58,332
All right! Okay! Calm
down! Calm down!
104
00:07:02,873 --> 00:07:04,372
I can't.
105
00:07:04,407 --> 00:07:05,540
You can't what?
106
00:07:05,575 --> 00:07:07,219
I got... I got to have
something out of
107
00:07:07,243 --> 00:07:08,554
that briefcase. BOBBY: Louie...
108
00:07:08,578 --> 00:07:09,544
I got... I got to, please!
109
00:07:09,579 --> 00:07:10,790
Louie, you get
out of here, Louie...
110
00:07:10,814 --> 00:07:12,324
No, I mean it,
Wheeler, I mean it.
111
00:07:12,348 --> 00:07:13,314
Get out of here.
112
00:07:13,349 --> 00:07:15,316
Uh, Bob, I think he's serious.
113
00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:17,585
He needs this. He's not like us.
114
00:07:20,957 --> 00:07:22,401
Just anything,
Wheeler, anything.
115
00:07:22,425 --> 00:07:23,725
Anything.
116
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:25,880
All right, all right, all
right, all right, all right.
117
00:07:27,931 --> 00:07:29,296
Huh? Huh? Huh?
118
00:07:29,332 --> 00:07:30,492
Okay. Huh?
119
00:07:35,672 --> 00:07:37,071
Oh!
120
00:07:37,106 --> 00:07:38,406
A pen!
121
00:07:38,441 --> 00:07:39,574
Good.
122
00:07:39,609 --> 00:07:41,409
Good. Hey, Iggy!
123
00:07:41,444 --> 00:07:42,577
Look, I got a pen.
124
00:07:42,612 --> 00:07:44,078
Eh... Yeah.
125
00:07:44,113 --> 00:07:45,880
Good, good.
126
00:07:49,218 --> 00:07:50,830
I've never seen a human being
127
00:07:50,854 --> 00:07:52,031
experience such joy.
128
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:54,288
A human being couldn't.
129
00:07:56,526 --> 00:07:58,225
Looks like the guy who owns this
130
00:07:58,261 --> 00:07:59,226
is a pretty rich dude.
131
00:07:59,262 --> 00:08:02,207
Hey... I may have
hit the jackpot.
132
00:08:02,231 --> 00:08:03,876
I don't know who
this guy is. Let's see.
133
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,711
But he's got a picture
of Stephen Sondheim.
134
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:06,901
Oh, let me see.
135
00:08:06,937 --> 00:08:08,047
That's Stephen Sondheim?
136
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:09,181
Yeah, the guy on the left.
137
00:08:09,205 --> 00:08:10,566
I don't recognize the other guy.
138
00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:12,039
Maybe that's Norman Zelnick.
139
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:13,641
Hmm.
140
00:08:16,679 --> 00:08:20,315
There isn't any Norman Zelnick.
141
00:08:20,350 --> 00:08:22,683
Wait, Bobby.
142
00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:25,520
I've heard that name before.
143
00:08:27,224 --> 00:08:28,689
Oh, my gosh! Look at this!
144
00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:30,691
It's a picture of Paul Newman!
145
00:08:30,727 --> 00:08:33,528
Hey, yeah, and the guy
up here is the same guy
146
00:08:33,563 --> 00:08:35,363
as the picture down here.
147
00:08:35,398 --> 00:08:36,864
Whose briefcase this must be.
148
00:08:36,899 --> 00:08:38,199
This is fun.
149
00:08:38,235 --> 00:08:40,701
Hey, hey, wait a
minute. Wait a minute.
150
00:08:40,737 --> 00:08:42,069
What are we doing here?
151
00:08:42,105 --> 00:08:43,849
Are we trying to find
out the name of the guy
152
00:08:43,873 --> 00:08:45,551
who owns this, so we
can give it back to him
153
00:08:45,575 --> 00:08:47,353
or are we just snooping
through his briefcase?
154
00:08:47,377 --> 00:08:49,244
We're just snooping
through his briefcase.
155
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:50,456
And loving every minute of it.
156
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:53,648
Whoa, look what I got
here... His appointment book.
157
00:08:53,683 --> 00:08:54,923
All right! Ooh!
158
00:08:56,052 --> 00:08:57,396
Oh, wow, look at that.
159
00:08:57,420 --> 00:08:59,698
"Tuesday, lunch, L. Strasberg."
160
00:08:59,722 --> 00:09:01,456
That's Lee Strasberg.
161
00:09:01,491 --> 00:09:03,291
"Wednesday, lunch, Liza."
162
00:09:03,326 --> 00:09:05,026
Minnelli. Doesn't say.
163
00:09:05,061 --> 00:09:06,394
Got to be.
164
00:09:06,429 --> 00:09:08,863
Wow, he's having lunch
with somebody famous
165
00:09:08,898 --> 00:09:10,632
every day this week.
166
00:09:10,667 --> 00:09:13,334
Oh, look at this.
167
00:09:13,370 --> 00:09:15,870
He knows Cary Grant...
An autographed picture.
168
00:09:15,905 --> 00:09:17,539
Oh, wow.
169
00:09:19,409 --> 00:09:20,708
Who do you figure this guy is?
170
00:09:20,743 --> 00:09:21,709
I don't know.
171
00:09:21,744 --> 00:09:23,556
Maybe he's an agent,
maybe a producer.
172
00:09:23,580 --> 00:09:25,713
Or maybe a real estate salesman.
173
00:09:25,748 --> 00:09:27,793
"Neal Zacherman." BOBBY: Uh-huh.
174
00:09:27,817 --> 00:09:29,384
"Zacherman Real Estate."
175
00:09:29,419 --> 00:09:30,918
He sells real estate. Well...
176
00:09:30,953 --> 00:09:33,032
What's he doing with all
these pictures of celebrities?
177
00:09:33,056 --> 00:09:36,224
I don't know. He must, uh,
specialize in famous people.
178
00:09:36,259 --> 00:09:37,770
Sorry, Bobby.
179
00:09:37,794 --> 00:09:39,972
Well, what's he doing the
rest of the week, Elaine?
180
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,929
I don't know. I'm
starting to feel real funny
181
00:09:41,964 --> 00:09:43,409
about looking
through this. Ah...
182
00:09:43,433 --> 00:09:45,244
I mean, it is private
property, you know?
183
00:09:45,268 --> 00:09:47,068
Aah... So one more.
184
00:09:47,103 --> 00:09:49,270
Okay. All right.
185
00:09:49,306 --> 00:09:50,749
"Woody's costume
party, Saturday night."
186
00:09:50,773 --> 00:09:51,739
That's it.
187
00:09:51,774 --> 00:09:52,840
That's it.
188
00:09:52,875 --> 00:09:55,042
That's one of Woody
Allen's famous parties.
189
00:09:55,078 --> 00:09:58,379
He throws them once
a year. It's a tradition...
190
00:09:58,415 --> 00:10:00,881
All the biggest celebrities
in the world show up there.
191
00:10:00,917 --> 00:10:02,983
Yeah, biggies, like
Neal Zacherman, hmm?
192
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:06,254
No, no, Alex. Nah...
Really big stars, too.
193
00:10:06,289 --> 00:10:07,766
I didn't read about
it in the paper.
194
00:10:07,790 --> 00:10:09,957
Well, it's not in the
papers. It's a secret.
195
00:10:09,992 --> 00:10:11,704
He wants to keep
out the crashers.
196
00:10:11,728 --> 00:10:13,894
Oh! You know,
except for the people
197
00:10:13,930 --> 00:10:15,708
who are invited to
this party, I mean,
198
00:10:15,732 --> 00:10:18,099
we may be the only
ones who know about it.
199
00:10:18,134 --> 00:10:19,667
That's very likely.
200
00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:21,168
Yeah.
201
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:28,443
Scarlett O'Hara.
202
00:10:28,478 --> 00:10:29,478
I'll be Cyrano.
203
00:10:29,512 --> 00:10:30,823
Yeah! Let's do it.
204
00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:32,747
Hey, hey, hey, come on.
205
00:10:32,782 --> 00:10:34,148
Alex, this is perfect.
206
00:10:34,183 --> 00:10:35,261
What's perfect?
207
00:10:35,285 --> 00:10:36,325
It's a costume party.
208
00:10:36,353 --> 00:10:37,763
Nobody's going to
know who anyone is.
209
00:10:37,787 --> 00:10:38,931
It'll be great. Yes! Yes!
210
00:10:38,955 --> 00:10:41,166
If you get caught,
you're gonna look foolish.
211
00:10:41,190 --> 00:10:42,624
It's worth the risk.
212
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,738
- Aw, hey, come on, Alex?
- Come on, Alex.
213
00:10:45,762 --> 00:10:46,805
Yeah! Huh?
214
00:10:46,829 --> 00:10:48,173
This could really
help my career.
215
00:10:48,197 --> 00:10:49,975
I mean, this place is
going to be contact city.
216
00:10:49,999 --> 00:10:50,965
Yeah! Listen, if it's
217
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,211
so important to you, go ahead.
218
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,379
What do you need me for?
219
00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:55,883
Well, if you go, that
means it's not so nuts.
220
00:10:57,173 --> 00:10:59,574
So, the only way you're not
gonna look as crazy as you are
221
00:10:59,609 --> 00:11:00,986
is if I look as
crazy as you are?
222
00:11:01,010 --> 00:11:02,543
I think so.
223
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,812
Well, as persuasive
as that argument is,
224
00:11:04,847 --> 00:11:05,913
I don't want to go.
225
00:11:05,948 --> 00:11:06,981
Oh, come on!
226
00:11:07,016 --> 00:11:08,294
I mean, what am I going to wear?
227
00:11:08,318 --> 00:11:09,629
I'll fix you a costume.
Yeah! Oh, come on.
228
00:11:09,653 --> 00:11:11,096
Hey, Elaine, would
you fix one for me, too?
229
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:11,852
Sure.
230
00:11:11,888 --> 00:11:12,587
And me?
231
00:11:12,622 --> 00:11:13,588
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
232
00:11:13,623 --> 00:11:14,689
I'll fix you all three up.
233
00:11:14,724 --> 00:11:15,768
Come on, Alex, what do you say?
234
00:11:15,792 --> 00:11:16,758
Come on, Alex. Would you go?
235
00:11:16,793 --> 00:11:17,793
It's ridiculous.
236
00:11:17,827 --> 00:11:19,160
Oh! You're a drip.
237
00:11:19,195 --> 00:11:21,006
Oh, you mean, if I
go to this one party
238
00:11:21,030 --> 00:11:22,541
it's gonna save me from Dripdom?
239
00:11:22,565 --> 00:11:24,165
That's right.
240
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:25,344
Yeah. What do you say?
241
00:11:25,368 --> 00:11:26,808
Come on. What do I say?
242
00:11:26,836 --> 00:11:28,180
Come on!
243
00:11:28,204 --> 00:11:30,905
I'll tell you what I say.
244
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:32,873
I say, let's go to Woody's.
245
00:11:35,011 --> 00:11:36,188
Let's go to Woody's!
246
00:11:36,212 --> 00:11:37,523
Let's go to Woody's!
247
00:11:37,547 --> 00:11:38,758
Let's go to Woody's!
248
00:11:38,782 --> 00:11:39,958
Let's go to Woody's!
249
00:11:39,982 --> 00:11:42,417
Come on! Let's go to Woody's!
250
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:43,751
Let's go to Woody's!
251
00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:45,687
Let's go to Woody's!
252
00:11:45,722 --> 00:11:47,689
Let's go to Woody's!
253
00:11:53,996 --> 00:11:55,496
What's the matter?
254
00:11:55,532 --> 00:11:57,410
Louie... in the name of God,
255
00:11:57,434 --> 00:12:00,535
you're not thinking of
going to this thing, are you?
256
00:12:00,570 --> 00:12:02,581
You're gonna ruin
it for all of us, Louie.
257
00:12:02,605 --> 00:12:04,639
Of course, I'm
going to this thing!
258
00:12:04,674 --> 00:12:06,185
I'm going to meet
a few celebrities.
259
00:12:06,209 --> 00:12:07,241
Ah, no, you're not.
260
00:12:07,276 --> 00:12:09,243
I'll get some free food...
261
00:12:09,278 --> 00:12:12,179
take home a couple of
autographs with my new pen.
262
00:12:12,215 --> 00:12:13,348
Aw, thanks, Louie. Thanks.
263
00:12:13,383 --> 00:12:14,515
Bye.
264
00:12:14,551 --> 00:12:16,195
Sounds like my kind of evening.
265
00:12:16,219 --> 00:12:19,854
Hey, wait a minute. What
are we worried about?
266
00:12:19,889 --> 00:12:22,523
Louie doesn't know
where the party is.
267
00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:25,360
The location is right
here in the book, right?
268
00:12:25,395 --> 00:12:27,506
Oh... Which is
now in the briefcase
269
00:12:27,530 --> 00:12:29,664
back on its way
to its owner, so...
270
00:12:29,699 --> 00:12:32,667
if nobody tells Louie
where the party is,
271
00:12:32,702 --> 00:12:35,436
that means Louie
can't go to the party.
272
00:12:35,472 --> 00:12:36,904
That's right.
273
00:12:36,939 --> 00:12:38,517
Too bad, Lou.
274
00:12:38,541 --> 00:12:41,108
Yeah. We'll tell you
all about it afterwards.
275
00:12:41,143 --> 00:12:42,209
Right. Bye-bye, Lou.
276
00:12:42,245 --> 00:12:44,011
I'll give your regards to Woody.
277
00:12:44,046 --> 00:12:45,613
Bye-bye, Louie.
278
00:12:45,648 --> 00:12:47,059
We're going to Woody's.
279
00:12:47,083 --> 00:12:49,784
We're going to Woody's...
280
00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:14,859
I don't believe it. We
just walked straight in.
281
00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:17,773
I'm so nervous, I can't breathe.
282
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,664
Okay, now just relax.
The worst is over.
283
00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:21,966
We're in.
284
00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:23,901
Isn't this incredible?
What a great place
285
00:13:23,936 --> 00:13:25,169
to have a party, on a boat.
286
00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:27,082
I know! Only Woody
Allen would think of this.
287
00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:29,073
Hey, you don't mind,
I'm just going to go
288
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:30,386
and mingle a
little bit, you know?
289
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:31,376
Oh, no, no, no. Me, too.
290
00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:32,955
Kind of feel out the
territory, you know.
291
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,423
Just act unimpressed.
292
00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:35,913
That's impossible.
293
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:01,806
Hey. It's the Andrews Sisters.
294
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,274
Hey.
295
00:14:03,309 --> 00:14:04,842
You guys look great.
296
00:14:04,878 --> 00:14:06,878
How'd you know it was us?
297
00:14:06,913 --> 00:14:09,380
Just a wild guess.
298
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:11,816
You know, when-when
Elaine told us
299
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,317
about these costumes
300
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:16,754
uh, Alex, he thought it
was going to look stupid.
301
00:14:16,790 --> 00:14:18,923
Well, I'm not too big a man
302
00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:20,458
to admit that I was right.
303
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:22,293
Look at this party.
Ain't it worth it? Huh?
304
00:14:22,328 --> 00:14:23,472
It is fabulous.
305
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:25,508
And wait till you taste
the food. It's great!
306
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,832
And they got one of the
best bands playing in there
307
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:28,999
I've ever heard.
308
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:30,746
Well, I have to
admit, it's a long way
309
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:31,969
from beer and pretzels...
310
00:14:42,248 --> 00:14:44,482
Oh, my God!
311
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,717
They hit Pearl Harbor again?
312
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,757
Wait a minute.
313
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:55,259
I know who you are.
314
00:14:55,294 --> 00:15:01,332
Latka... Uh, Tony...
and Barbra Streisand.
315
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:08,383
No, Jim, this is a
costume party, remember?
316
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:09,718
You were supposed
to wear an outfit.
317
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:11,642
Oh, yeah, yeah.
318
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:22,152
I look wigged out, huh?
319
00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:23,788
So come on, tell me.
Who's famous here?
320
00:15:23,823 --> 00:15:25,122
Oh, everybody, man.
321
00:15:25,157 --> 00:15:27,692
Before you guys came in, I
heard some people talking.
322
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:30,160
And they had to be Diane
Keaton and Truman Capote.
323
00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:31,228
Nah...
324
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,263
Man, this is just too
good to stand here.
325
00:15:33,299 --> 00:15:34,732
I got to mingle.
326
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,100
Me, too.
327
00:15:36,135 --> 00:15:38,013
Point me to the starlets.
328
00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:39,103
Uh, shall we, Laverne?
329
00:15:39,138 --> 00:15:40,138
Okay, Maxine.
330
00:15:40,172 --> 00:15:41,172
Hey.
331
00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:42,172
Hey, uh, Patty?
332
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:43,608
Come on, I'll get you a drink.
333
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,450
I couldn't help myself.
334
00:15:57,023 --> 00:15:58,589
What are those?
335
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,224
Oh, they're Dramamine.
336
00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:02,727
See, I get a little
seasickness on boats.
337
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:04,673
This boat is tied
to the pier, Bob.
338
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,876
Yeah-yeah, I know, but it's
the motion that gets to me.
339
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:07,900
Oh.
340
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:18,693
What are you
taking there, Bobby?
341
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:21,595
Oh, these are for
seasickness. You want one?
342
00:16:21,631 --> 00:16:23,130
No, thanks.
343
00:16:23,165 --> 00:16:25,566
I'm already a little seasick.
344
00:16:27,970 --> 00:16:31,171
But don't go away.
It might wear off.
345
00:16:33,008 --> 00:16:34,753
Oh, Alex, I just
came by to tell you
346
00:16:34,777 --> 00:16:36,310
I'm having such a terrific time
347
00:16:36,346 --> 00:16:37,911
and that your seams are crooked.
348
00:16:37,947 --> 00:16:38,979
Huh?
349
00:16:39,014 --> 00:16:40,648
Oh.
350
00:16:40,683 --> 00:16:41,882
How's that?
351
00:16:41,917 --> 00:16:43,784
Much better.
352
00:16:50,059 --> 00:16:51,091
Alex.
353
00:16:51,126 --> 00:16:52,593
Huh?
354
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,063
Whoo!
355
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,933
Elaine, why are
you in such a hurry?
356
00:16:59,969 --> 00:17:02,936
Oh, uh, well, I-I met this
guy, and we're dancing.
357
00:17:02,972 --> 00:17:05,150
Hey, hey, Elaine, Elaine...
who-who is this guy?
358
00:17:05,174 --> 00:17:07,252
Do-Do you think he might
be somebody famous?
359
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:08,976
Oh, Bobby, I don't
want to tell you.
360
00:17:09,011 --> 00:17:11,712
'Cause you're gonna think
I'm crazy, but he's Al Pacino.
361
00:17:11,748 --> 00:17:13,447
Well, I mean, his
name is Al, right?
362
00:17:13,483 --> 00:17:15,215
And I've seen all
of Pacino's movies,
363
00:17:15,251 --> 00:17:16,584
and the voice could be his.
364
00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:18,085
Oh, boy, Elaine.
365
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,598
We're a little
star-struck, are we?
366
00:17:19,622 --> 00:17:21,933
Well, just... Hey,
uh, can I meet him?
367
00:17:21,957 --> 00:17:23,335
Sure. Come on.
368
00:17:23,359 --> 00:17:24,639
Oh, good.
369
00:17:29,432 --> 00:17:31,432
Whoa!
370
00:17:35,337 --> 00:17:36,570
You again.
371
00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:41,509
Everywhere I go, he's there.
372
00:17:48,217 --> 00:17:49,182
What a party! Huh?
373
00:17:49,218 --> 00:17:50,429
You'll never guess who's here.
374
00:17:50,453 --> 00:17:51,530
He's headed this way. Who?
375
00:17:51,554 --> 00:17:53,499
That's Henry Kissinger.
376
00:17:53,523 --> 00:17:55,534
You can't miss that voice.
377
00:17:55,558 --> 00:17:57,168
The Lone Ranger?
378
00:17:57,192 --> 00:17:59,137
Wow. He's a great man, Tony.
379
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:01,440
I know. I'm really
getting impressed now.
380
00:18:01,464 --> 00:18:03,174
That guy was the
Secretary of State.
381
00:18:03,198 --> 00:18:05,243
He won the Nobel Peace Prize.
382
00:18:05,267 --> 00:18:08,903
I've heard he was
always good to Tonto.
383
00:18:08,938 --> 00:18:10,616
I was getting to that, Jim.
384
00:18:10,640 --> 00:18:12,506
Alex! Tony! Yeah.
385
00:18:12,542 --> 00:18:14,620
Hey, Bob. Hey, Bobby,
what's the matter?
386
00:18:14,644 --> 00:18:16,655
I just found out Hal
Prince is at this party.
387
00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:18,078
Who's Hal Prince?
388
00:18:18,113 --> 00:18:20,748
He's one of the biggest
directors on Broadway, Tony.
389
00:18:20,783 --> 00:18:21,783
Are you sure it's him?
390
00:18:21,818 --> 00:18:22,950
Oh, yeah.
391
00:18:22,985 --> 00:18:25,653
I overheard this girl
talking to a walrus,
392
00:18:25,688 --> 00:18:27,499
and she called him Mr. Prince.
393
00:18:27,523 --> 00:18:28,956
Oh, Alex, how can I meet him?
394
00:18:28,991 --> 00:18:30,157
You could take him a fish.
395
00:18:31,828 --> 00:18:35,329
Bobby, he doesn't know
you're not supposed to be here.
396
00:18:35,364 --> 00:18:38,131
Just go up to him
and introduce yourself
397
00:18:38,167 --> 00:18:39,967
and have a little... chat.
398
00:18:40,002 --> 00:18:40,968
Hey.
399
00:18:41,003 --> 00:18:41,969
Casually.
400
00:18:42,004 --> 00:18:43,381
Hey, that's really good, Alex.
401
00:18:43,405 --> 00:18:44,783
So... Just-just go up to him
402
00:18:44,807 --> 00:18:46,418
and introduce myself
403
00:18:46,442 --> 00:18:48,175
and talk to him casually.
404
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,177
Hey, that's really great.
405
00:18:53,516 --> 00:18:55,060
Hey, Alex, you just
been standing around.
406
00:18:55,084 --> 00:18:56,127
I mean, come on. Let's mix.
407
00:18:56,151 --> 00:18:57,596
Let's rub elbows
with the biggies.
408
00:18:57,620 --> 00:18:58,986
I don't know, Tony.
409
00:18:59,021 --> 00:19:01,054
What, Alex?
410
00:19:01,090 --> 00:19:02,167
What's wrong?
411
00:19:02,191 --> 00:19:03,624
I've been wondering
about something.
412
00:19:03,659 --> 00:19:05,960
I mean, why is it we
have this group of people
413
00:19:05,995 --> 00:19:07,495
that we set off from ourselves?
414
00:19:07,530 --> 00:19:09,396
You know, we call
them famous people.
415
00:19:09,431 --> 00:19:11,599
We treat them better,
we treat them special.
416
00:19:11,634 --> 00:19:14,334
We get excited when we're
in the same room with them.
417
00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:16,203
What makes them so special?
418
00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:18,839
I know exactly what
you're saying, Alex.
419
00:19:18,875 --> 00:19:20,652
And I bet there's
plenty of famous people
420
00:19:20,676 --> 00:19:23,076
that nobody even knows about.
421
00:19:23,445 --> 00:19:25,613
We have to talk like
this more often, Tony.
422
00:19:29,118 --> 00:19:31,084
Hey, Bobby, did
you meet Hal Prince?
423
00:19:31,120 --> 00:19:33,120
Oh, yeah, kind of.
424
00:19:33,155 --> 00:19:35,556
I threw up on him.
425
00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:39,259
Might have given "Hi.
Nice party" a try first, Bob.
426
00:19:39,294 --> 00:19:42,830
I'm never going to work
in show business again.
427
00:19:42,865 --> 00:19:46,133
Oh, I feel like going home.
428
00:19:46,168 --> 00:19:49,280
Bobby, what did
you do to that walrus?
429
00:19:49,304 --> 00:19:50,671
Look, everybody.
430
00:19:50,706 --> 00:19:52,105
Look what I got. Look here.
431
00:19:52,141 --> 00:19:53,585
What do you got there, Latka?
432
00:19:53,609 --> 00:19:55,809
I got autographs.
433
00:19:55,845 --> 00:19:58,012
What? Autographs.
434
00:19:58,047 --> 00:20:00,714
Latka, that's the worst
possible thing you could do.
435
00:20:00,750 --> 00:20:04,195
Celebrities don't ask other
celebrities for their autographs.
436
00:20:04,219 --> 00:20:06,820
Bobby, that's
okay. Take it easy.
437
00:20:06,856 --> 00:20:09,657
Elaine, do you realize
what this means?
438
00:20:09,692 --> 00:20:11,503
Hal Prince is going to find out
439
00:20:11,527 --> 00:20:16,329
that the guy that threw up
on him snuck in here to do it.
440
00:20:16,365 --> 00:20:18,443
I don't care what you say.
441
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,311
You can yell at me all you want,
442
00:20:20,335 --> 00:20:22,903
but I got the autographs
from famous people.
443
00:20:22,939 --> 00:20:24,872
Yeah, well, who'd
you get, Latka?
444
00:20:24,907 --> 00:20:26,339
Well... Look.
445
00:20:26,375 --> 00:20:29,877
First... first here
is George Hanson.
446
00:20:29,912 --> 00:20:33,881
It says, "Best wishes
to my buddy, Latka."
447
00:20:33,916 --> 00:20:36,249
And next here is, uh...
448
00:20:36,285 --> 00:20:37,529
"Nice costume, Latka."
449
00:20:37,553 --> 00:20:41,755
Signed... is signed
by Fran Petricini.
450
00:20:41,791 --> 00:20:45,525
"Here's looking at you, Latka.
451
00:20:45,561 --> 00:20:47,327
Gus Bates."
452
00:20:47,362 --> 00:20:49,262
Who are these people?
453
00:20:49,298 --> 00:20:52,110
Well, there is Gus
Bates over there
454
00:20:52,134 --> 00:20:54,145
in the Lone Ranger outfit.
455
00:20:54,169 --> 00:20:56,036
You know, suddenly,
I'm not so sure
456
00:20:56,072 --> 00:20:57,605
we are where we think we are.
457
00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:00,120
Boy, I know that feeling.
458
00:21:01,543 --> 00:21:04,111
This explains
something I heard earlier.
459
00:21:04,146 --> 00:21:06,647
I heard somebody said
that they were in the Pacific
460
00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:08,493
with this guy Woody
during World War II.
461
00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:11,619
I figured they meant he
was entertaining the troops.
462
00:21:11,654 --> 00:21:13,198
Woody Allen would have been
463
00:21:13,222 --> 00:21:15,233
about four years
old in World War II.
464
00:21:15,257 --> 00:21:17,725
I didn't know when he got
started in show business.
465
00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:20,706
So, who are these people, then?
466
00:21:20,730 --> 00:21:22,407
Friends of Neal Zacherman's.
467
00:21:22,431 --> 00:21:24,843
Yeah, probably a bunch of
real estate people. Mm-hmm.
468
00:21:24,867 --> 00:21:27,668
That means I didn't
throw up on Hal Prince.
469
00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:30,203
You're still young.
470
00:21:30,239 --> 00:21:31,683
Come on, let's get
out of this place.
471
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:32,884
Come on, let's go have a beer.
472
00:21:32,908 --> 00:21:34,052
Yeah. Come on. Yeah.
473
00:21:34,076 --> 00:21:35,787
Yeah, let's go. Come
on. That's a good idea.
474
00:21:35,811 --> 00:21:38,178
Where's the nearest U.S.O.?
475
00:21:38,213 --> 00:21:39,625
Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
476
00:21:39,649 --> 00:21:40,614
What? Wait a minute.
477
00:21:40,650 --> 00:21:41,715
We're crazy, huh?
478
00:21:41,751 --> 00:21:43,517
What's the big deal?
479
00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:44,818
A moment ago, we were having
480
00:21:44,854 --> 00:21:46,253
the greatest party of our life
481
00:21:46,288 --> 00:21:48,622
because we, uh, thought
we were among celebrities.
482
00:21:48,658 --> 00:21:50,357
So what if they're
not celebrities?!
483
00:21:50,392 --> 00:21:52,370
They still could be
interesting people, can't they?
484
00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:55,629
I'm going to get to
know, uh, Gus Bates.
485
00:21:57,399 --> 00:21:59,967
Hi. I'm Alex Rieger.
486
00:22:00,002 --> 00:22:01,234
I'm Gus Bates.
487
00:22:02,672 --> 00:22:04,504
Wait up, you guys!
488
00:22:31,701 --> 00:22:33,868
Oh, we're almost home.
489
00:22:33,903 --> 00:22:36,303
What a depressing night.
490
00:22:36,338 --> 00:22:37,304
You're telling me.
491
00:22:37,339 --> 00:22:39,272
Aw, come on, Elaine. Hey!
492
00:22:39,308 --> 00:22:41,675
You know, I mean, you
might have lost Rhett,
493
00:22:41,711 --> 00:22:44,945
you might have lost Al
Pacino, but you still got Patty...
494
00:22:44,981 --> 00:22:47,047
Maxine... And Laverne.
495
00:22:47,082 --> 00:22:48,215
Hit it, girls.
496
00:22:49,418 --> 00:22:52,185
♪ Bei mir bist du schon ♪
497
00:22:52,221 --> 00:22:54,421
♪ Please let me explain ♪
498
00:22:54,456 --> 00:22:58,425
♪ "Bei mir bist du schon"
means that you're grand ♪
499
00:23:00,029 --> 00:23:03,196
♪ Bei mir bist du schon ♪
500
00:23:03,232 --> 00:23:05,198
♪ Again I'll explain ♪
501
00:23:05,234 --> 00:23:09,369
♪ It means you're
the fairest in the land ♪
502
00:23:09,405 --> 00:23:12,139
♪ I could say "bella, bella" ♪
503
00:23:12,174 --> 00:23:14,508
♪ Even say "wunderbar" ♪
504
00:23:14,544 --> 00:23:18,211
♪ Each language
only helps me tell you ♪
505
00:23:18,247 --> 00:23:19,980
♪ How grand you are ♪
506
00:23:20,016 --> 00:23:22,650
♪ I tried to explain ♪
507
00:23:22,685 --> 00:23:25,019
♪ Bei mir bist du schon ♪
508
00:23:25,054 --> 00:23:30,223
♪ So kiss me and say
you'll understand. ♪
509
00:24:08,046 --> 00:24:09,574
Night, Mr. Walters.
33064
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