Original subtitles

Cass is chumming it up with Crowley.

They're hunting Lucifer. Together.

That's right, one's an angel, one's a demon,

and, apparently, they solve crimes.

So, Lucifer is now the Master of Butt Rock.

He jumped into Vince Vincente.

- SAM: The rock star? - The douchebag.

Guy used to roll with purple hair down to his butt, and a spiked codpiece.

- It was the '80s. - What, you're defending him?

No. I mean, his third album was kind of not horrible.

I hate you so much right now.

I been around all stripes of Vince, all right?

Drunk Vince, depressed Vince, megalomaniacal,

"I'm a Golden God" Vince.

The Vince who threw me through that door,

that wasn't him.

If you hear from him, don't hesitate to call.

Okay, Agent Beyoncé?

LUCIFER: This vessel hopping is getting old.

Just as I get used to limitations of one meat sack, I gotta

cut bait and jump through the next flawed lump.

Then you want me to make this vessel permanent?

Strong enough to hold you?

LUCIFER: It does look good on me.

(CHANTS INCANTATION)

(EXHALES)

(SEARING)

Red, what did you do?

Sped up the decaying process, my lord.

Ginger bitch!

- (GRUNTS) You can't destroy me! - Not yet.

But I can send you far, far away.

Try finding a new vessel at the bottom of the bloody ocean.

- (YELLS INCANTATION) - (YELLS)

(VOICE SINGING PRAYER ON RECORD)

- Dark Lord. Beelzebub. - Apollyon.

As your humble servants, we beseech thee.

We say your names as summonings.

Show thyself! Serpent!

- Devil! - Lucifer!

Show thyself!

Rain your splendor upon me!

Let me bathe in your unholy wrath!

(SNICKERS)

Drench me, Lucifer!

- (SNICKERS) - Cut it out, Gordy.

(LAUGHING)

(SIGHS)

Dude, it's not funny.

Dude, you asked Lucifer to drench you.

I didn't write it, okay?

It's a Satanist Society of America approved summoning. I found it online.

Yeah, like you found that artifact.

Face it, Adam, your "Satan feather"

is faker than my stepmom's Chinatown Fendi.

- It's real! - It's a rock.

Well, it's fossilized! A feather from Lucifer's wing!

The seller excavated it from one of his crypts.

Lucifer has crypts. Lucifer has wings.

You're so freaking dumb.

Actually...

I've been looking for that.

GORDY: No way.

No freaking...

- (BONES CRACK) - (GASPS)

Hiya.

You're...

It worked. My summoning actually...

The only thing that summoned me was this.

This vessel was already wearing out,

and my trip under the sea did not help.

With a little power up...

Hey.

Won't last long, but it'll do.

So, you and your pal,

you typical of my following on Earth these days? 'Cause... (EXHALES)

No, no, no, no, no, no. You can't be Lucifer.

You're Vince Vincente. My mom loves you.

You're kind of famous.

(BONES CRACK)

Huh.

Kind of famous.

Twerking. Booyah.

(CHUCKLING)

- Seriously? - What?

So, I've been trying to dig up info on the British Men of Letters,

keeping an eye out for cases,

and you've been goofing off with a game that went out of style five years ago.

I don't think Mom's quite ready for Snapchat.

You're playing against Mom?

Yeah.

The same Mom that didn't know what a cell phone was a month ago?

Yeah.

Doesn't exactly seem like a fair fight.

You were saying?

Huh. (CHUCKLES)

So, how's she been lately?

She's good, you know, she's dealing.

(PHONE RINGING)

Hey, Cass.

Hello, Dean.

You still living out an 1980s buddy comedy with Crowley?

Unfortunately.

Any news on Lucifer?

Actually, yes. Look at the news.

- One sec. (CLEARS THROAT) - (KEYBOARD CLACKING)

No way.

So, this is from today.

FEMALE REPORTER: We're here in front of Death Siren Records...

No freaking way.

Yeah, it's great having the band back together again.

In the studio, feeling pumped.

Haven't felt this fired up in ages.

REPORTER: A lot of people are saying your style of rock

could never make a comeback in today's landscape.

What do you say to them?

Go to Hell.

Tell me that's not Lucifer.

We don't know.

Cass, I thought you said Rowena got some licks in.

Shouldn't he have burned through his vessel by now?

Yeah, but we don't know. We don't...

(PHONE BEEPS)

Hello, boys. Long time.

We team up to save the world, and then bupkis.

You don't call, you don't write.

Yeah, we don't care.

- Crowley, Lucifer. - Lucifer.

Think about it. Of all the extinct rock acts,

Ladyheart are the most Paleolithic.

A major label-sponsored comeback in 2016 for those dinosaurs?

It doesn't feel like a wholly natural turn of events, does it?

Maybe Lucifer found a way to heal his vessel.

Yeah, but still. I mean, what the hell?

He's in LA. I'll see you there.

- (LINE DISCONNECTS) - Oh. LA.

Yeah.

Where are you going?

I know a guy.

Hello, Russell.

Brother Crowley.

One moment, just let me tie this off real quick.

All right! So...

(CHUCKLING) What brings you to the City of Angels?

You know this is my city.

(LAUGHS)

What's with all this Maharishi crap?

I moved to the Westside last year.

Started daily meditation, yoga, green juice.

Helps to keep the ego and the anger in check.

But enough about me. How have you been, huh?

Health? Family? Hell?

Doesn't matter. Don't care. And been better.

Well, good news. Good news.

I got a couple of quality up-and-comers for you.

Thirsty young talent, souls ripe for the taking.

You have been pleased with our arrangement so far?

Oh. As punch, a soul's a soul.

But there is a certain prestige to owning a Swift or a Drake.

You like that?

It's a gift from Dre.

This whole Vince Vincente comeback thing,

it's a joke, right?

No. Deadly serious, my friend.

We've raided, repackaged, and resold everything else from our past.

Why not give hair metal another shot?

Yeah, okay. I doubted it, too, but Vince came to me with a killer pitch.

The original Ladyheart line-up, reunited.

Back in the day, those cats sold, like, 10 mill.

So did Hootie and the Blowfish.

And I'll bring them back, too.

I know Ladyheart might be a punch line

but the band's got off-the-chart name recognition.

And just talking to Vince,

he seemed different, you know?

Energized. Reborn. Lit.

Like a whole new man?

Exactly.

All right. 450 miles to LA.

Land of gridlock, Botox, over-taxing,

under achieving, smell of sweaty desperation.

I mean, you can't breathe. Beaches are toxic.

You got dudes in skinny jeans wearing sunglasses inside.

(SIGHS HEAVILY)

Image-obsessed narcissists.

I do like the yoga pants, though. (CHUCKLES)

When's the last time we were in LA?

About 10 years ago? Doing a vengeful spirit.

Man, that seems like forever ago, doesn't it?

Hey-

Trying to talk to you here.

What?

What're you listening to?

Uh, podcast. Why?

All right, Well.

I need something to keep me awake, so crank it up.

I mean, it's a history podcast. (CLEARS THROAT)

Well, I like history. You know, gladiators and outlaws, pirates.

Hell, we're driving a piece of history right here.

Not that kind of history. This is a... (CLEARS THROAT)

It's a podcast on the history of the Protestant Reformation.

A multi-part exploration of each of Martin Luther's 95 theses.

Oh.

Yeah, that's what I thought. (CLEARS THROAT)

("THE BLOODY MESSIAH" PLAYING)

Oh, Sam, hair rock, really?

- It's not hair... - Come on.

It's not hair rock, Dean, it's hard rock. It's legitimate hard rock.

- (SCOFFS) Wow. - Don't judge a book by its cover.

Yeah, or a dude by his rainbow wig and leopard prints.

Rainbow wig? What?

You know what? I'm done apologizing.

Lucifer possessed Vince Vincente.

This is Vince Vincente's music.

So, listening to it is research.

No, no.

- As a matter of fact, study up, Dean. - (MUSIC PLAYS LOUDER)

- No. I don't wanna listen to it. - You like it.

No, no. No, no. No. Turn it off.

It'll grow on you.

Your tweet about Ladyheart's reunion already has over a million engagements.

When you were solo, you were lucky to have 300 likes.

The band's teaser track on SoundCloud...

500K streams in four hours.

BuzzFeed just posted a listicle.

"Ten Things You Need to Know About Ladyheart."

This is good, Vince. This is really good.

Great.

ROSELEEN: It's happening, Vince.

I knew we were gonna be famous again.

TOMMY: Vince.

So, we actually gonna record or what?

Hmm.

Not really feeling it.

Come on, man. The band's back together.

We've got an actual recording budget.

Dude, let's make some music.

Music.

What are the fans saying about me right now?

They're tweeting about your drinks with Pam Anderson last night.

Speculating if you two are rekindling.

And they're debating whether Vince Vincente

is bae, nay, or daddy.

What the hell does that even mean?

It means it's not about the music.

It never really was.

You know, rock's not the reason. It's just an excuse.

To worship.

To adore.

See, humans have always been desperate to put someone or something above them.

Let's face it.

God ain't cutting it these days.

It takes a Kim Kardashian, a whatever Justin Bieber is.

A me.

They're enjoying the ride.

So should you.

(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)

What?

It's good.

It's vegetable water.

CASTIEL: Sam. Dean.

Hey. Consider switching up the duds there?

It's a bit stiff for this town.

He could be an agent or something.

Yeah, maybe a third-tier agent.

At least I don't look like a lumberjack.

SAM: Okay, enough.

Guys, where's Crowley?

He said he'd meet us here.

Frankly, I appreciate the break.

It's been weeks. And he's been right there just talking,

and talking, and talking. It's relentless...

Don't listen to him.

Feathers and I are all but inseparable now.

You find anything?

Yes. Vince Vincente is riding with the Devil.

Okay, so what now?

I suggest we go check out his room.

Vince is scheduled to be at the studio all day, so we're covered.

How'd you get the card?

This is LA. I know a lot of people.

(DOOR OPENS)

Well, looks like there was some kind of fight.

Mmm. Yeah. Some kind.

Look at this.

Rock star biographies. Like, all of them. From Aerosmith to ZZ Top.

It's like he's studying how to become famous.

Well, so, what, Lucifer's a dork?

That's good to know.

- (GUITAR PLAYING OFF-KEY) - Look, "The seeds of a ripe dragon fruit"

"drizzled with exactly one ounce of acacia honey,"

"prepared in a ceramic bowl, no plastic."

What is this spell?

It's breakfast. It's Vince's rider.

I've seen worse.

I don't get it. Lucifer could be taking over Heaven and Hell right now,

and instead, he's trying to act out some rock-god fantasy?

Yeah, who wouldn't?

CASTIEL: I found something.

What is that?

It appears to be a human tooth pulled out by the root.

Can I ask you something?

Why are you spending time with me?

You ignored me for years.

(CHUCKLES) Not that I blamed you.

I was a fool not to recognize such sweet devotion.

(CHUCKLES)

Talk to me, Roseleen.

Tell me about...

Me.

(SIGHS)

You're Vince.

Vince Vincente.

And I knew I was in love with you the moment I saw you.

I was 16, just a normal kid growing up in Arcadia.

Arcadia. Sounds beautiful.

I was watching Headbangers Ball, and the "Bloody Messiah" video came on.

And I...

Oh.

It was your voice.

And your hair.

And your eyes.

It was everything.

You were everything.

And even when people made fun of me,

younger girls at work,

shredding on my Ladyheart tattoos, and saying you're a joke,

I never stopped loving you.

And I never will.

How much do you love me?

What would you do to show me?

Anything.

Anything?

Would you bleed?

Then bleed.

- (SHUDDERING) - (KNIFE PIERCING)

(SCREAMING)

(SIREN WAILING)

Mrs. Greenfield has lost a lot of blood,

and there'll be no fixing those scars.

But she's stable.

And she cut herself?

She carved his name into her chest.

"Vince Vincente." Didn't skip a letter. And she cut deep.

Thanks, Doctor.

Well, again, what the hell?

- I'll go talk to her. - No! No, no, no, you won't.

Cass, stay here, keep an eye on him.

Well...

Together again.

Yay.

SAM: We want to understand what happened.

But in order for us to do that, we need you to talk.

Roseleen, did Vince force you to do this?

No.

Vince didn't.

He wouldn't have to.

I wanted to. To show him. To make him happy.

You ever stop and wonder what kind of a sicko gets happy

off of watching someone melon ball their own flesh?

Don't talk about Vince like that.

He had a reason, a good reason.

He must have.

I'm sure he can explain everything.

If I could just see him... (WINCES)

I need to get to the show!

Please!

Please!

Okay, we're building an aura of mystery and exclusivity with tonight's show.

Undisclosed location, small, select audience.

It's as much about who doesn't get a ticket as who does.

This could push your social media profile to Kimye levels.

Who gets the tickets?

It's an online lottery of local fans.

But it'll tend towards the Ladyheart die-hards,

- they'll be more engaged... - I've had my fill with die-hards.

They already love me.

Religion, celebrity, Twitter,

it's all the same rules.

If you're not gaining followers, you're losing followers.

I want a different crowd tonight.

New fans.

(SIGHS)

Look, getting a new audience is great

for social media visibility, which is great for overall buzz,

but they're fickle.

They don't spend any money on music, they have no loyalty.

Good luck translating their attention to album or ticket sales.

I don't care.

I want fresh blood.

Got it.

So, this show is tonight?

That's what she said.

Can Lucifer even sing or play an instrument?

Yeah, I doubt they offer Intro to Guitar in the Cage.

CROWLEY: Like it matters.

What Lucifer made that woman do has got nothing to do with the music.

- It's about devotion. - Come again?

You little people wouldn't understand.

But I've been a king.

Having people look at you like you're everything.

Knowing that once they buy in, you can make them do anything.

It's intoxicating.

Well, that's super creepy.

Okay, so, this concert.

All these people. What is Lucifer planning to do?

Nothing good.

- Is Rowena... - Dear Mother says...

That once we catch Lucifer, she'll show, no sooner.

Well, without Rowena, we're outgunned.

With her, we're outgunned.

It doesn't matter, guys. This is our shot.

We just got to find out where he's playing tonight.

All right, let's get to work.

A mystery to even me.

Though even if I did know, I probably wouldn't tell you.

You'd threaten our very lucrative partnership

for one over-the hill, bad-dye-job rock dinosaur?

I'm smelling money with Vince, bro.

This is business, Crowley. It's nothing personal.

(GASPS)

No, believe me, it's personal.

Tommy.

You guys, I'll meet you inside.

Agent, what are you doing here, man?

Investigating Vince, same as before.

You hear what happened to Roseleen?

Yeah, man, it was awful.

But, I mean, come on, man, she cut herself, right? It wasn't like...

You know that's not the whole truth.

You know Vince isn't Vince.

We're the brothers that rock together. Mmm.

We're kind of like the American Oasis.

Ew.

- Um... But with synths. - Yeah, right.

- So, you know, we're hip. - Exactly.

Who plays what?

- I'm on keys, he's on drums... - Guitar.

Drums and guitar. I pretty much do it all. (CHUCKLES)

We saw online that you represent Vince Vincente.

We were kind of hoping you could do for us what you've done for him.

Sorry. Took this meeting 'cause you looked hot in your pics,

but I'm not feeling this.

You know what, we're not actually here for the meeting.

Vince's show tonight.

Where is it?

Who are you guys?

Look, you must've noticed.

Vince is different.

I don't know.

You're messing with hellfire, Russell.

You will find out where that show is.

You will tell me.

Or I will end you.

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

Brigitta! Get me another green juice in here. Namaste.

Where's the show, Tommy?

Man, I don't know what the hell's going on with Vince, all right?

All the royalties on our hits dried up years ago.

I got two daughters in college.

I know what I saw, but...

You don't care who pays the price?

Sorry.

Vince gives me the skeeves, but he's a paying client.

No. He's the Devil.

Yeah, like, literally.

(LAUGHS)

I'm in PR. I've worked for sexists, racists,

even politicians.

My job is making saints out of devils.

No way I'm threatening my reputation by working against his interests.

So, you need to take a step back or I start screaming,

and in a crowded place like this, girl like me, two guys like you...

Guess what happens next.

Bye-bye.

And you said you put the fear in Russell.

I thought I had.

These yoga types. Just when you think you've harshed their mellow...

Yeah, well, I've been looking everywhere online and...

No one's leaked the venue yet.

- Seriously? - What?

Shut up.

Cass.

Anything?

No.

So, we couldn't flip a single member of Vince's team.

Even with the threat of mass murder,

these SoCal douchebags won't do the right thing.

Welcome to Los Angeles.

So, what happens now?

(CHUCKLES) I've never seen so many crying emojis in my life.

The people who didn't get in,

they're rending garments all over Twitter.

Gossip blogs, social media.

They're on fire speculating about the secret reunion show.

- And the winners? - Thrilled.

They'd be more thrilled if we had new music to sell.

What?

Well, Vince was a no-show at the studio.

Again.

The muse.

Guess she took a powder.

Relax, Russell.

Tonight's show

is gonna kill.

I took a chance on you, Vince.

An aging, well-past-his-prime butt rocker.

You will get in line.

Ur?

Or I take it all back.

- Huh? - Whoa...

Check your contract, slick.

You don't do what I say, I can bury Ladyheart.

I own you.

Do you?

Yeah.

(CHUCKLES)

What's happening here?

Hey, man.

TOMMY: Vince, what're you doing?

Hey, man.

- Hey! - Vince, stop!

- Hey! - Vince!

Hey, man.

(SCREAMS)

(GAGGING)

(BREATH TREMBLING)

Well...

See y'all inside.

- (DOOR OPENS) - (PEOPLE CHEERING)

Vince!

Vince!

(LAUGHING)

(PEOPLE CLAMORING)

LUCIFER: Who's ready to have fun?

WOMAN: Vince! Hey!

Vince!

WOMAN: Thank you! I love you, Vince!

I quit.

(MUFFLED MUSIC PLAYING)

(PHONE BEEPING)

(PHONE VIBRATING)

(PHONE BEEPS)

Guys.

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

(LAUGHING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

(GROANS) Tommy's still not answering.

Well, he got us here. That's what matters.

Enochian handcuffs? That's your move?

- They held me. - You're not him.

We have no sure bets here, okay?

Anything that we use is gonna be like popping BBs.

Ah. Great pep talk. Go, team.

Guys, we're here to do more than just take a shot at Lucifer.

- We are? - Yes.

We need to save the people inside, too.

I'll take Lucifer. He's my responsibility.

No, he's not. He's all of our responsibility.

Well, the only way you'll clear that crowd without drawing fire

is if he's otherwise engaged.

Engaged in what, Cass? Killing you?

Cass, you'll last three minutes. Tops.

Then I'll buy you three minutes.

Make it four.

What? I help.

(LAUGHS)

Have you seen that crowd?

Man, I have not seen an audience this hyped

since we headlined Monsters of Rock in 1991, man.

And the girls...

Perfect age.

Tommy. You okay?

Our fearless leader.

(BONES CRACK)

How you feeling about the show, Tommy?

Yeah, me too. The nerves.

(GUITAR PLAYS OFF-KEY)

VVhoops!

Guess I should've practiced before tonight.

Or, you know, ever.

Who are you?

Who I was, well, that doesn't matter.

Who I am,

well, I'm Vince Vincente, rock god.

And after careful deliberation,

I've decided to cut the dead weight.

I'm going solo.

Castiel.

(GRUNTING AND GROANING)

Took you long enough.

Did you bring the rest of the Little Rascals?

Just me.

Spanky.

(CROWD CHATTERING)

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

(CROWD CHEERING)

Hey, any of you guys smell smoke?

Vince, Vince, Vince!

Did not take you for the martyr type, Crowley.

I'm really not. I just hate you that much.

(GRUNTS)

What are you doing, Lucifer?

You mean nothing to those kids out there.

You think they'd draw blood for you?

By choice?

Well...

I thought I'd at least ask.

And if they won't give it up by choice,

- maybe I'll just take it. - Why?

Because it's fun.

Because I can.

And because being Lucifer,

so much Judeo-Christian baggage.

But Vince, he's famous.

Everybody loves him.

(GRUNTS)

And I need love.

I had a really jacked childhood.

Hey, Tommy.

(BONES CRACK)

You think this is fun?

Oh, I wouldn't expect you to understand.

I was inside you.

- (GRUNTING) - I know what a weak,

duty-bound, pleasureless dullard you are.

(GROANS)

And you, bad doggy. Sit!

(GROANING)

No, seriously, I think I smell smoke. Everyone...

Sure you're not having a stroke?

Hey, I'm serious. We need to get out of here.

- Step off, Dad! - Hey.

What's your problem, man! Get off me! Get this guy off me!

Listen to me. Listen, we've got to get out of here.

- All right. - Get screwed.

Okay. Look, we got to get everybody out of here.

(FIRE ALARM RINGING)

(GRUNTING)

(PANTING)

Clever girls.

(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)

No, no. No, no, no, no, no!

No!

(GRUNTS)

Stick around for the after party.

(CROWD CHEERING)

Hello, LA!

What a crowd.

Look at all those fresh new faces.

Everyone excited?

Yeah, you should be.

Tonight's not gonna be a typical show.

Tonight, you're gonna see and feel things...

You never saw or felt before.

Things might get a little bit messy.

All right, screw it.

(GUN COCKS)

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

- He's got a gun! - We got to go! We got to go!

Go, go! Come on, guys!

No, no, no, no, no.

(GRUNTING)

Nah-uh-uh.

CASTIEL: Hey. Ass-butt.

(GRUNTING)

Hi, Dean.

Sam. Enjoy the show?

(SEARING)

Look, guys...

You know I could end you all with the snap of my finger.

Why would I do that?

- When you can't do anything to me. - (GRUNTING)

Why are you doing this?

Why?

SAM: You and God made up.

You forgave him. What would he think?

Not especially interested in his opinion.

Dear, old Dad, he finally apologized for abandoning me,

and what's the very next thing he does?

He ditches me.

(CHUCKLES) And you, too, by the way.

And rides off into the sunset with Aunty Amara.

He needed my help,

and he'd say anything to get it.

His words, your words, they mean nothing.

Don't you get it? This is all meaningless.

Heaven, Hell.

This world.

If it ever meant anything, that moment is passed.

Nothing down here but a bunch of hopeless, distraction addicts.

So filled with emptiness, so desperate to fill up the void.

They don't mind being served

another stale rerun, of a rerun, of a rerun.

You know what my plan is?

I don't have one.

I'm just gonna keep on smashing Daddy's already-broken toys,

and make you watch.

SAM: Yeah?

'Cause it kind of looks like you're falling apart.

Yeah, you got a little something, uh, right there.

I mean, face it.

Rock is dead.

What can I say?

Kicking your ass took a lot out of me.

But don't worry...

Onward and upward.

- (POLICE RADIO CHATTER) - (SIREN WAILING)

How you feeling?

Well, I'm not dead.

Well, I got to hand it to you.

You said you were gonna draw Lucifer's fire,

and you drew some serious fire.

Oh, it was a grand success.

Well, we didn't catch Lucifer, but we did save the crowd,

so I'm gonna call that a win.

I wouldn't.

Vince Vincente is dead.

We never even hoped to save him.

And yes, I know, the third album...

No, he was still a person.

And he meant something to a lot of people.

And Lucifer just took all that

and just twisted all that up and snuffed it out.

Lucifer was bad enough when he had a plan, a motive.

Now he's just having fun.

I mean, how many people died tonight?

Them, this? It's all on us. We let him out.

We're not winning.

(SCOFFS) We're just losing slow.

And you heard what he said.

"Onwards and upwards." He's going big.

And he'll go bigger.

And we will stop him.

We Will.

It's what we do, man.