Original subtitles

(avatar grunting)

Hey, Blue, that's enough of that stupid thing.

Smarten up.

That thing's rotting your brain.

Okay, fine. What?

I don't want you playing that thing 'til the kitchen's clean.

You told me already.

Well, do it then!

I'm going to next door to borrow some jam.

Go then, already.

Shut your lip.

You're lucky I let you play here.

You're lucky I keep you safe, man.

Alright, come and get me.

(snarling)

(grunting)

(growling)

Beat it! Get out of here!

You can't stop me!

(dogs growling)

Oh, man!

Whoa. What the freak?

What the heck!?

♪ Yes, I can love you, baby ♪

♪ All night long ♪

Man: Get out of here!

Announcer: You know him! You hate him!

You've got all these treaty rights,

but he's still not treating you right!

Let's tell him where to go!

Give it up for, Mr. Indian Affairs!

(crowd booing)

Give him shit, Agnes! Give him shit!

Announcer: You know him! You hate him!

but he doesn't want you to get new glasses

or your cavities filled!

Let's tell him where to go!

Give it up for, Mr. Indian Affairs!

Give 'em shit, Jo! That's my girl!

Announcer: You know him! You hate him!

And he's about to put your community

in third party management!

Let's tell him where to go!

Give it up for, Mr. Indian Affairs!

Good girl! Give him shit, Chickadee!

That's my girl! Boo!

Go on then!

Roger: This is Laughingstick in the morning

and the NDN Wrestling Federation is back on the Rez

for its annual Battle in the Bush.

Some of you are jacked up

and most of y'all are horned up.

So, you make sure your aunties don't throw their panties!

You save that energy for show time .

(cheering)

I wanna see Iron Python's snake!

I wanna see the meat!

Rita! You kiss your grandkids with that mouth?

You can kiss my arse with yours.

There they are!

(cheering)

(crowd cheering)

Chief Deedee.

Huh?

Where's Mr. Indian Affairs?

Oh, yeah. Iron Python told me he got on the wrong plane

and he's sittin' in Grouse River.

Poor guy's taken too many turnbuckles to the head.

We'll just do the show without him.

We can't do Battle in the Bush without Mr. Indian Affairs.

That's like having Christmas without that fat mooniya.

What if we find you a white guy?

Sure, man. If you want the Iron Python

to kill Brady go ahead.

That's a chance I'm willing to take.

(phone ringing)

Hey, Greg? Thanks for calling.

Look, I wanted to do the right thing

and report that smashed TV, but I can totally pay for it.

Greg: Alright, great.

Hey, listen, how did it get smashed in the first place?

I think it was an accident,

but somebody threw a can of Little Fatties cat food

to scare a skinny teen and it smashed the TV.

It's no biggie.

Well, Brady, that kinda sounds like criminal activity.

Can you tell me who did it?

Um, it was, uh...

It was me.

Well, that's bad, Brady.

Yeah. Yeah.

I can see how that's bad, yeah.

We need to talk.

It's really not a good time.

Greg: Brady?

I really need your help.

Greg: Uh, Brady?

Okay, Greg, I'll see you at the Christmas party.

- Brady? - Bye-bye!

Brady?

Dean: The VCR's over there.

We've got everything on VHS.

I got all the Porky's movies, Revenge of the Nerds,

Meatballs, I got all the horny comedies.

Cool, bro. My grandma loves those.

Hey, can I keep Bo's food in the fridge?

These are his mice.

Yeah, of course.

There's just one thing.

No one touches my fuckin' garlic coil.

It's a Wrestling Day tradition in my family.

(crowd cheering)

Dean, today's your first Battle in the Bush,

and as your father,

I'm going to let you in a family tradition.

This just isn't a garlic coil.

Nothing makes watching shaved men

fighting in swimsuits better

than eating greasy meat.

And hey, if I die in a snow mobile accident

on your 14th birthday,

you keep this meat tradition alive!

(squealing)

Hey. That wasn't a scared squeal.

That was a happy squeal.

I'm so happy. I love snakes.

Sure, sure. Bo here's just a showbiz snake.

When I put him on my opponents at the end of the matches,

he just lies there.

Cool. Cool, cool, cool.

I'm cool. I'm definitely cool.

I'm cool like a ranch.

- (popping) - (squealing)

This neechie's afraid of chips.

(laughing)

Jo: Oh, hey. Before I forget.

What do I owe you for that smashed TV?

Oh, I wouldn't worry about that.

You know, we definitely have

insurance for that kind of thing, so you--

(gasping) And for that.

You have pickle insurance?

(screaming) Clean up on aisle five!

Never mind this shit,

we need you to fill in for a wrestler tonight.

I can't wrestle.

Battle in the Bush is a big deal and without you,

we might lose our main event.

Look ya scrote, Wrestling Day means everything

to my mom, ya feel?

Okay, fine. What do you need me to do?

You gotta be a big, racist, piece of shit!

Hm?

Is the snake locked up?

Don't worry, big cheeks.

Bo's in his container.

Okay. Thanks, man!

Call me big cheeks,

I'll fuckin' body slam you into my big cheeks.

(thudding)

The fuck was that?

♪

(hissing)

Jo: You're a nice guy.

Thank you.

But we don't need a nice guy.

If you're going to be a true Mr. Indian Affairs,

you gotta tap into your inner-colonizer.

Mr. Indian Affairs?

We're gonna put you through a little test.

I want you to look my Kookum in the eyes

and tell her that her housing request is denied.

Agnes, I didn't know you need a new house.

I don't.

Oh! (clearing throat)

Agnes.

I'm so sorry.

I did everything I could,

but your housing request

is not approved.

Let me try something now.

Ow-wah!

Now tell this lady her request has been denied.

(whimpering) Jo!

Meaner!

Agnes, I'm going to do my darndest

to get your funding approved.

(groaning)

Mum, Kookum, step aside.

Leave this mooniya to me.

♪

♪ Hey, sunshine, up above ♪

♪ The wide open places in my mind ♪

♪ You are there-- ♪

You stupid snake!

How many times have I told you you need to stay in your box!?

Leave Big Cheeks alone.

I wasn't even scared!

Yeah, sure.

What are you doing in here anyway?

You're just as stupid as this stupid snake!

I'm so mad!

I'm sorry, Bo.

I've got a sister who hates my guts, too.

(chuckling) You're not that scary.

Hm.

Chickadee: Alright, if we're going to get

numb nuts in there ready to wrestle,

we need to crack the whip.

Whatcha thinking?

I need to break him down before I build him back up.

Whatever it takes.

Okay, I did the breaking down part.

I'll build him back up after lunch.

(sobbing)

Why did she have to be so mean?

I'm worried about Bo, man,

stuck in that bin all day.

Yeah, bro.

And when he's not in a bin,

he stuffs him in a sack.

Sacks are for potatoes, man.

Not a life for anyone.

We gotta get him out and get him some fresh air.

Sounds like you guys had a moment.

Yes, we made a connection.

A snake connection, I get it.

We just gotta get him past Iron Python.

I got you.

You go get snakey.

Man, Porky's still holds up.

I miss a good boner comedy.

My grandma said the same thing.

Why do people even try to make comedies

without peep holes and showers?

(grunting)

Ah, alright.

Who wants to tangle?

It's on!

(men shouting, cheering)

(laughing)

(grunting)

(grunting)

(laughing)

That one looks like a marshmallow wearing a top hat.

Look at that one, Bo.

That one looks like a mouse riding a bicycle.

(hissing softly)

You know what, Bo?

I'm really sorry that Iron Python

treats you the way he does.

You belong out there in the wild

not eating frozen mice.

You and me, we're basically the same.

People don't trust snakes just like they didn't trust me

when I was lying about my time in Winnipeg.

Anyway, our bro day is just getting started.

♪ Hey, sunshine, I'm starry eyed ♪

Mush-mush, you bitch.

♪ I remember all the time ♪

♪ How you got me with your smile ♪

♪ Nothing seems like anything's too hard ♪

♪ Nothing's ever easy, that's for sure ♪

(both screaming)

♪ Whatever comes around ♪

Paul: I've bro'd down with a lot of bros before,

but this was different, bro.

And thanks for lettin' me talk your inner-ear off about Rose.

I'm gonna try that sour cream thing.

(sighing)

It's gettin' late, Bo.

I got to take you back.

The Iron Python, he's going to be looking for you.

And trust me, this is harder for me than it is for you.

(crowd cheering)

(bell dinging)

(crowd cheering)

Welcome to Battle in the Bush!

Tonight's main event is

Iron Python versus

Mr. Indian Affairs!

(crowd booing)

Please rise for

Chief Deedee.

(crowd cheering)

(riffing)

(laughing)

(riffing)

(knocking) Brady let's go!

We need our Mr. Indian Affairs!

I'm sorry, Chickadee. I can't do it!

That guy is gonna kill me.

(knocking)

(crowd cheering)

Hey, Brady locked himself in the warehouse

and he won't come out.

So we'll, uh, we'll end it after this match.

(cheering)

Are you crazy?

If Mr. Indian Affairs doesn't get his ass kicked,

these people are gonna shit.

We just can't let this match end.

(crowd counting in Anishanaabeemowin)

(crowd cheering)

It's over! It's over!

Fuck.

Roger, I need you to stall.

You want me to windbag?

I got this.

How's everybody doin' tonight?

(cheering)

I gotta tell you.

All this stuff going on in the world.

You ever wonder

the prices of flights up here?

Dean: Oh, yeah.

500 bucks just to get here?

Who made the plane, the Queen?

(laughing) The Queen.

(crowd booing)

Agnes: (knocking) Brady? It's me.

Let me in.

Sorry, Agnes.

I just can't find it in myself to do this.

Agnes: But you have to.

Wrestling Day has been a big deal in our family

for a long time and the most important

part of it is telling Mr. Indian Affairs to fuck off.

That's nice.

Every year he loses,

and for one night, we get to win.

Our kids get to see a wrestler who's one of us,

beat the shit out of the system that's taken everything from us.

What I'm saying is, that you'll get booed

and hit so hard that it'll hurt for years,

but you just gotta suck it up, get in that suit,

and get your fuckin' head kicked in.

♪

Your funding is denied.

You ever try calling the band office?

Yeah, totally!

The phone will ring all day!

So true.

Who do I got to be to get someone to pick up?

The Queen!?

- (laughing) - (crowd booing)

The Queen, dude. Oh, man.

(unclear).

(crowd booing)

(whispering) It's time to announce the next act.

Okay, ladies and gentlemen,

This match is scheduled for one fall.

Lock up your aunties, because here comes

the one. the only.

Give it up for Iron Python!

(audience cheering, applauding)

Here he is, right here! Here he is!

You know him. You hate him.

He wants to take a dump on your sovereignty.

Let's tell him where to go.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Mr. Indian Affairs!

- (crowd booing) - (O Canada playing)

(crowd booing)

(crowd heckling)

You want to boo me?!

Submit an application.

(crowd booing)

This what you want!?

This what you want? This is five bucks!

That's actually Stephen Harper's seat.

It's cool. I just wanted to stop by.

Thanks.

I know how much you like sour cream,

so, you can have mine.

You remembered?

It's not a big deal.

Thanks, Bo.

Crowd: Kick his ass! Kick his ass!

(bell ringing)

And the Battle in the Bush is underway!

(crowd cheering)

Iron Python continues to stick it to the man.

(crowd cheering)

(grunting)

You could really feel the oppression behind that one.

(screaming)

Come on!

I own you!

Now the government's really going to take care of you!

(grunting)

Oh wait, he's got the red tape!

Try cutting through all this!

I'm gonna break his back like I break your treaties!

(grunting)

Oh, wait, look at this!

(grunting)

I can't believe it.

He's busted through the red tape!

(crowd cheering)

(grunting)

(grunting)

(crowd counting in Anishanaabeemowin)

(bell ringing)

It's over!

(audience cheering)

I got something for you, man.

He's gonna bring out the snake!

It's snake time!

- Yeah! - (Iron Python laughing)

Roger: Here comes the snake!

(laughing)

What? What's this?

The snake was supposed to come out,

but it's Dean's garlic coil!

Where's Bo? Where's my snake?!

You! You did this, Big Cheeks!

Go on, Bo. Get out of here!

You have to go. Go, Bo!

Get.

(crying) Go, Bo!

Give 'em shit, Bo! Give 'em shit.

See this?

I'm going to stomp on this.

No!

Oh, wait. Look at this!

(both grunting)

Go to hell!

Dean's pinned Python for the win!

(counting down in Anishanaabeemowin)

It's over!

(crowd cheering)

There's mayhem everywhere!

No, no. We gotta go. We gotta go.

You did it!

You did good.

- Ow, ow, ow. - Good job, man. Thank you.

♪

(sighing)

Hey, there's some mail here, man.

Whoa. Paul, there's a postcard for you.

I never get postcards.

Dean: Yeah.

Hm. "Dear, Paul. It's your snake friend, Bo.

Hiss, Hiss.

I've just been doing some snake shit on the ground,

eating mice and stuff.

I met a sexy lady and she gives the best hickies.

(chuckling)

I took a job with a nine to five.

Hiss, hiss.

Working for the Man sucks, but I get my own truck

and I found the coolest shades on the ground.

I miss you like crazy.

P.S. Fuck L'il Tony.

Dean is the one true movie man.

So, who's it from, bro?

♪