Original subtitles

I'm Will. Rob's younger brother.

I was with a woman called Hannah for three years,

then she left me and married Rob.

And we have 70.

Oh, my God, Will.

The bracelet. - What? What's wrong? - It's gone!

I'm doing chilli for tea if you fancy it.

No, I'd better not...

I'd better get back start and swotting up for this interview.

I'm wasting my time a bit, really, aren't I?

♪ And then she smiles

♪ And my heart starts beating

♪ I go weak inside

♪ Ma, ma, ma... ♪

Hey. What's your brother up to these days?

Little Will? Is he married?

Erm...

I don't know. He might be.

We fell out.

I haven't seen him for about ten years.

Oh dear, Rob.

What happened?

Oh, it's complicated...

Come on, dish the dirt. No, I'd rather not talk about it, if you don't mind.

I didn't handle it very well at the time and, erm...

Well, older brothers should know better, really.

More tea?

Yeah, thanks.

Stel! Michael's here!

RADIO MUSIC IN BACKGROUND

Mingle and Tingle?

Hm, yeah.

The Dean came up with the name.

I'm not 100%, to be honest, but...

Well, you get the gist.

It's a chance for our clients to come face-to-face

over a glass of Lambrini. So it's speed dating.

No, it's not speed dating. See, I knew that's what people would think.

Hey, careful you don't get no dog hair on your nice suit,

he do moult to high Jemima, that one.

Hiya. What are you doing here? Charming.

Oh, no, I didn't mean that... Hello, gorgeous.

- Cup of tea? - No, I'm fine, thanks.

I brought those forms for you, to transfer Holly's inheritance.

You need to get that done, Stella. I know. I will.

It's not a good idea to have all that cash

lying around in your account like - that. - It's not lying around, is it?

Don't be ridiculous. Don't start, now, you two.

You'll upset Banjo.

Yeah, sorry.

I'll do it today, OK?

BABY COOS

You're looking very nice.

What's with the suit?

He's got his interview, haven't you, McIntosh and Fine?

The one Jan set up?

I said his date with Ponty Partners wasn't a total waste of time.

Come here, Zach.

Man, I am wrecked this morning.

- I'd better go. - Yeah.

Thanks.

Hey, baby J, look, it's Daddy.

Christ, I've died and gone to Utah.

Morning.

Hey, Jackson.

I haven't had a wink of sleep. Your son kept me up for hours.

You're looking hot, Mike. What's with the threads?

Got a job interview. Got an interview.

Nice. Hey, while you're here,

I've been thinking about changing Jackson's name by dean poll.

- What? - DEED poll.

Just the spelling, like, still Jackson.

Only with an X.

J-A-X-O-N?

Cool, right? My mate Cath suggested it.

The answer is no.

It would only cost 30 quid.

- Morning! It's only me. - Like, 33.

Good God, someone's made an effort. What's with the suit?

He got a job interview.

And how are you today, Auntie Brenda?

Bearing up, Michael Jackson, bearing up.

Of course, you know better than anyone what it's like

to go through a crisis of identity.

Anyway... Not been easy finding out who my real father is,

now, in my late 40s.

Still...

At least this little one will know from the start, eh?

Right, then. See you.

Good luck, Daddy!

Now, which one of you lovely people

wants to help me in a spot of detecting work?

That's called a Mercedes-Benz SL 1973 model.

It's one of Daddy's favourite cars.

Put the bins out, didn't you?

I did. I put the bins out round the back of OUR house,

which we now officially own.

- Feels good, doesn't it? - Yes, great.

Oh, don't, Luke. I've got to get the kids off.

Hey, listen, your mam's going to pick 'em up later, OK?

- Why? - So you and me can go and look at this little baby.

What? We're not buying a new car, Luke.

It's not a new car, actually, it's a classic.

Certainly not a car - that costs 19 grand. - Oh, come on.

I know it's not the same kind of investment as the jewellery,

but it's still a collector's item. Right, let's get this straight.

Either I'm in charge of your dad's money, or I'm not.

You can't keep changing your mind, OK?

- - Hey! - Messing me around. - Zo?

And wasting that much money is just irresponsible.

That's wrong! Daddy's getting a new car.

Great.

Come on, kids.

We'll be late for school.

OK?

- Ready? - See you!

Jag...

I'm thinking of doing a stall at the footy trials tomorrow.

Sell my sausages, advertise the pub.

- What do you reckon? - Ah, Yanto, my friend, I like your dynamism.

But perhaps you could do something with a football team?

Yes!

Like sausage in a football.

Any more coffee going, Jag?

Coming right up.

Or football in a basket.

All the time, my team are trying to think of ways to make the Fox

more frisky.

For example, tonight, we have mingle and tingle,

a speed dating event, no less.

It's not technically speed dating, Jag.

Might you be tempted to join in?

No, thanks.

Not really my scene.

You are a man of mystery, Will Morgan.

Like your late brother.

He would've been very proud of you, you know,

coming to see young Luke. Yeah, Luke's great, isn't he?

His heart is bigger than that of a cow.

Did you know, for instance,

he has given half of his inheritance to Stella to look after

for baby Holly until she grows up?

Hm? Gave it away, just like this.

Just like... Just like this.

That's very generous of him.

PHONE RINGS Oh, er... Excuse me, Jag.

Zoe? Any news of the bracelet?

Nothing.

I'm on edge all the time.

I haven't heard anything from the police.

Did you give them your statement?

Yeah. They,

they want to speak to those dickheads from the bar.

I really snapped at Luke this morning.

He wants to buy a bloody car, now.

'Will you call him, try and stop him?'

Yeah, of course. But...

You've got to explain to him what's happened, Zo.

I can't. He's going to kill me.

Anything?

Negative.

What's the point? I just want a glimpse of him, is all!

And a sprout!

No, it's just a pigeon.

Oh...

SHE SIGHS

Look, why don't we go and just ring the bell?

Don't be ridiculous!

I'm completely unprepared.

I'm not even wearing a hat. That's true.

Werthers Original?

May as well.

I helped my nana Pat once when she was spying on my bumper Pat.

Thought he was doing the dirty on her,

cos she found a lipstick and earrings in his pocket.

So me and my cousin Dean followed him to this house,

turns out he was a member of a poker group.

- Hm! - A cross-dressers poker group.

Mm!

Right. Pass us the binocs.

MESSAGE ALERT Mm!

Let me have a gander.

Oh, my be-jazzlle! Jessie J!

- Go on. - My mate Danni just texted me.

She said Keckers has only gone and signed up to that Mingle and Tingle tonight.

- The speed dating? - Yeah! Manky rat.

I've got to go.

Hey! What about me and my father?

Sorry, Auntie Bren. I've got my own undercover work to do now.

Mm!

BRENDA GASPS

BRENDA GASPS

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

I've just come out.

They offered it me.

Oh, Michael, that is brilliant news.

'Congratulations!'

They're a great company, you know.

'I really like them.'I wasn't sure whether to phone you or not.

I mean, am I even allowed to ask you about things like this?

'I don't know what the rules are any more.'

Don't be silly. 'So when do you start?'

Monday.

'They've got more work than they can cope with,

'so I'll really be in - at the deep end...'Stel? - Hiya.

Have you got five minutes?

'Stel?'Listen, I've got to go. 'Will and Zoe just arrived.'

Hang on, I haven't told you about the...

'I'll talk to you later, yeah?'

And well done.

Really. 'So long.'

TYRES SCREECH Fuck's sake!

Maniac!

Luke?

Ah, shit.

Test driving it. Please don't tell Zoe.

Well?

Go on, you'd better tell her.

Right, but don't go ballistic, OK?

I went to that auction, didn't I? And I bid on a bracelet.

Yeah, I know.

But Luke said you didn't get it, got outbid, or something?

That's what Zoe told him.

The truth is, she did get it.

Then she lost it.

Or it's been nicked.

You are kidding me.

I wish I was.

Oh, Stel, what am I going to do?

I take it you haven't told Luke?

How can I? He put me in charge of all the money.

Right, well, you're just going to have to bite the bullet, my girl.

You can't seriously think you can carry on without him finding out.

- Bloody idiot. - Hey, come on.

You'll feel better once you've told him.

Yeah. Will's right.

The longer you put it off, the worse it's going to get.

I should know.

Why don't you go and call him now, get it over with?

Yeah...

♪ The boys are back in town, boys are back in town

♪ I said, boys are back in town... ♪

Ah, this is beautiful.

And the steering on it is so...

- Shit. - Shit.

I know. Who cares?

Oh, look, you've really put me in a dilemma now. PHONE RINGS

Hey, that was your first, mate. You're not buying it.

I just mean I should be taking the sensible stepfather line,

telling you to be careful with your money and not go spending it all,

but this is really nice. - You're nearly as bad as Will. - Will?

What's has it got to do with him?

Zoe got him to call me earlier and advise me not to buy a car.

None of his bloody business.

He's only looking out for me Mum.

Yeah, well, you're a big boy, Luke. You can make your own decisions.

Yeah, you're quite right, Michael.

And I've just made the decision it's my turn to get behind that wheel,

so pull over and shift it, bud. PHONE RINGS

What time does Billy get back from school?

Erm... About six, after he's finished training.

- Why? - I thought I could treat you both to dinner.

We could try one of Yanto's bangers in a basket

and drown our sorrows in a lemonade.

What sorrows have you got, Will Morgan?

Well, nothing compared with Zoe.

But I told you about this charity I'm starting, didn't I?

Oh. I thought it was up and running.

Almost, yeah.

It's a bit...

one step forward and two steps back, to be honest.

I found these amazing premises in the East End,

room enough for a hostel and a day centre.

The deal was we had to sign by this Wednesday

and pay one year's rent up front.

But this morning,

found out that my investors pulled out.

Oh, what?

I thought it was all a bit too good to be true.

Right, well...

It just wasn't meant to be.

But something else will turn up, you watch.

It keeps ringing and goings to voicemail.

OK, so...

You're just going to have to go home and wait for him

and tell him face-to-face.

Yeah.

- To the new car! - And the new job.

Hey, Michael, you know, I'm sorry about everything.

You know? With Holly and that...

What you're trying to say is...

you're sorry that your mother had sex with your dad

and had another child

30-odd years after their first one was born, which incidentally is you.

Yeah, that.

That's the way life goes, young Lucas.

Jesus, is your name actually Lucas?

Is Luke short for Lucas?

I have no idea.

THEY LAUGH

Lucas!

THEY WHEEZE AND LAUGH

Between you and me, I'm just hoping I'll wake up one morning

and everything will be back to normal, isn't it?

Cos we're good together, aren't we, me and your mum?

Mum? Your mam? Whatever.

I love her so much, Luke.

- I know you do, Mick. - And you know, I think, if I'd had the chance,

I'd have really liked your dad, too.

Yeah.

Even though he had sex with my wife, the bastard.

Sorry...

PHONE RINGS Sorry, I'm just...

Yeah. It's all right.

Ah. Bollocks, I can't hold this off any longer.

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

Hi, babes.

Yeah, I'm just on my way back now.

Have you? MICHAEL SLURPS LOUDLY

Have you? See you in a bit.

She wants to talk.

Ah! I hate it when women want to talk.

What they really mean is they want to bollock you.

- I'll call a cab. - No, don't go yet, let's go clubbing.

I'll show you my moves.

You can come and give me moral support, if you like,

cos you're like, you're a grown-up.

Oh, I hate being grown-up.

18, 19, 20.

Here we go. Wow.

Thanks, Jag. Just put them over there.

Bobs will sort them now, in a minute.

You're looking very commanding this evening, Nadine.

Just making sure I look my best for the clients and that.

Talking of which, whereto is Will Morgan?

Is he one of your clients?

Don't be disgusting. He's one of yours, isn't he?

Nadine Bevan, are you going to help me with these bloody chairs,

or are you going to spend all night mooning over a fish

you've got no chance of hooking? All right, then.

Oh, Jag...

Whereto is the speed dating?

Is it in by here?

It's not speed dating!

It's mingle and tingle.

Yeah, and it'll cost you £10 to sign up.

Well, what about people who just want to watch?

Don't be disgusting. Not like that, man.

Being a what's-a-name, aren't I? Chaperone for my Nana Pat

and my Auntie Rhian.

Uh?

Cock-a-doodle cocking-doo.

Two vulnerable women.

Easy target for some nutter.

Oh, God, I'm going to be sick.

Zo! I've got Michael with me.

Oh, yeah!

Hiya, babes. Sorry I'm late.

Zoe!

HE LAUGHS

It's Zoe.

Oh, my God, you're both pissed. Ah, yes, guilty as charged.

Well, yeah, what it is was we have both been celebrating.

Yep, cos I got a new job.

Congratulations.

And I...

Now, don't be cross, OK?

No, please don't be cross.

I bought a car. He's bought a car.

- What? - I mean, to be fair...

But I thought we discussed it this morning? What is wrong with you?

And, you know, you both deserve a bit of luxury.

Yeah, I know only put a deposit down,

but it is an absolute stunner, babe.

Shut up a minute about the bloody car.

I've got something to tell you.

Well, thanks, Will. That was absolutely lush.

Yeah, cheers, Will. Oh, I nearly forgot.

I've got a surprise for you.

What's this?

Oh, man, these are wicked.

Will, that is really kind of you.

To wish you luck for tomorrow.

- Oh, cheers, man. - No worries, mate.

Do you want to go check if the pool table's free?

OK. I'm going to slaughter you. Yeah!

You are so good with him.

So are you.

Wish I'd had someone like you to help me when I went off the rails.

Billy hasn't gone off the rails.

He's been unlucky, but none of it was his fault.

Hello, sleepy.

Stella, I've got a - confession to make. - What?

What?

- No, it's embarrassing. - Go on.

OK, well...

...when you were going out with Rob, that second year,

he was 18, I was 13.

Yeah?

I sent you a Valentine's card.

You never!

I did.

Actually, I do remember getting another card.

Your brother was really jealous.

I was just confused.

Couldn't understand who'd want to send me one.

And all along, it was - little Willy Morgan. - Shut up.

Bless. Did you have a crush on your big brother's girlfriend?

Yeah.

Yeah, I did.

I can't believe you've known for this long and you didn't tell me.

It was the shock, OK?Like I'm some kid that can't be trusted.

What did you think I was going to - do? - Go mad!

Exactly like you're doing right now.

Shouting like this is not going to get anyone anywhere.

22 grand, Zo! 22 grand!

- Fuck! - Keep your voice down, will - you? - And you were telling me

this morning I can't have a car cos you're in charge of the money.

Well, that went well, didn't it?

I didn't ask for someone to steal it, you know.

Well, you may as well have. Thanks a lot.

Right, shut up, both of you. Zoe, I take it you told the police?

Of course. I gave a statement, and Will did.

What's Will got to do with it? He was with me, wasn't he,

- after the auction? - Oh, great, so you've both been keeping it from me.

Oh, shut up, Luke, he's just protecting me, all right?

OK, OK, let's not get worked up.

What did the police say?

They think...

They think Lenny's mates might have been involved

because they were in the bar where - we were drinking. - Oh, great!

So you get pissed up in some bar while a mate of Lenny Macks'

goes rifling through your handbag and nicks a bracelet worth 22 grand!

- Thanks a lot. - Yeah, yeah...

It's all my fault. I asked for this, didn't I?!

It was an accident! I didn't do it.

Hello? Hello, everyone.

Hiya. My name is Bobby Gittins, co-founder of Ponty Partners.

Looks like false bastard alarm, kid.

So far, no sign of cocking Keckers.

...which I hasten to add is not a speed dating event.

Now, as you will see, there are more women here than men.

So, just checking, do we have any lesbians among us?

Lovely. Well, if you'd like to come and stand by the boys, my loves.

Come on, then, through you come.

There we go. Thank you.

And we'll sit you down on this side.

Of the table!

Oh! We've got another man. We've got another man!

CHEERING Sorry I'm late, like.

No, not at all. Please come in, take a seat.

The Eagle has landed and is about to sit down.

Christ, it's like musical chairs at a kids' party here.

I'll be back in a minute.

Where the hell do you think you're going, Nadine Bevan?

Can I just have your attention, please?

Thank you very much.

- - Hi, guys. - Hi, Nadine. - All right?

What you doing?

You can join us if you like,

only I thought you were busy mingling and tingling.

Oh, they don't need me, they're fine.

Right... rack them up.

Uh... Oh.

CHATTER, BLOWS WHISTLE

Well, it's lovely to meet you. Yeah, you too.

Yes, move down one.

Lovely.

B!Going shopping are we, Kecks?

It's not like that. I am not even cold in my grave,

and already you are sniffing around like a cat on cocaine.

My mam signed me up for it.

She said it would help mend my broken heart.

I misses you, Bonce.

Don't no-one don't go putting no Bonce in the corner.

BLOWS WHISTLE

LONGER BLAST

REPEATED WHISTLES

- Oh, hiya. - What are you two doing here?

- A girls' night out? - Ha-ha, no.

God, have you been waiting for me? Sorry.

No! No, me and Billy came for our tea.

Will wanted to treat us. They're playing pool at the moment.

Oh, right.

Oh, and he bought him some snazzy football boots. Look.

- Cool, eh? - Yeah.

Oh, and congratulations again on the job.

You look like you've been celebrating.

Yeah, with Luke, actually.

- Really? - Listen, Stella,

you're going to find out about this sooner or later, but if I tell,

you've got to promise not to go mad, OK?

Oh, is this about Zoe losing her bracelet with 22 bloody grand?

Yes. But how did you know about it?

Will made her come and tell me earlier.

Did he?

Right. She didn't say. He's really helped her, bless him.

I like him. He's a decent bloke.

Oh, yeah. Top bloke as well.

And he's, like, becoming everyone's bezzie mate by the looks of it.

- Bezzie mate? - Well, he's got Zoe confiding in him,

he's buying boots for Billy, proper little hero, isn't he?

- What are you talking about? - Our marriage is hanging on by a thread,

and all you can do is go on and on and on and on and on

about Rob bloody Morgan's perfect bloody brother.

Letting him buy you sausages and the like.

Michael! You're being really silly now.

Rob's gone, so you're making do with his brother, is that it?

Well, do you know what?

You're welcome to them both cos I'm going to bed.

No, nothing yet, Mum. Police are checking the antiques shops

and all the pawnshops, of course,

and they're trying to track down them mates of Lenny's.

Listen, I've got to go.

I'll see you later at the footie, yeah? So long.

I am so sorry about last night.

Oh, don't be nice to me, Luke, I'll cry.

Come on.

I feel such an idiot.

Look, we're not going to miss what we never had.

We've still got the house. Who needs a new car, anyway?

Oh, Luke...

Come here.

Michael, I hear we're going to be seeing you

back in Ponty Magistrates again soon.

Blimey, news travels fast.

Yes, I start with McIntosh and Fine on Monday.

I look forward to working with you again.

Darren, I don't suppose there's any more news

on my daughter-in-law's bracelet, is there?

No, we've checked the CCTV footage.

Nothing yet on those two blokes you mentioned.

Oh, well. Thanks anyway.

Oh, but we need to catch up with the fella she was with.

He might have seen something useful, you never know.

Will Morgan? But I thought you'd - already spoken to him. - No.

Oh, it's awful, mind.

They've terrible bad luck, them two, don't they?

I know, but you've got to ask yourself,

what was that Zoe Morgan doing buying a 22-grand necklace?

- Bracelet. - At an auction?

Who the Dickens does she think she is? David Dickens... son?

I think it was meant to be an investment, Auntie Bren.

Well, that'll learn her to get above her station.

Oh...

- What's wrong, Stel? - Oh, nothing, just social services have e-mailed,

looks like they've found you a new home.

With a couple called Keith and Sandra.

Been fostering for years, apparently.

- Yeah? - So, when I'm moving out?

Well, it says you can move in with them next week.

Right.

So are you going to try contacting your dad again today,

- Auntie Bren? - Already have, Bobs.

I decided to write.

That's how all them aristocrats communicate,

like in Downton and what's-the-name-of-it.

I sent him a letter this morning, I did,

requesting an audience with His Lordship at the big house.

- I'm going out. - Where to?

Out. I'll see you at the trials.

Well, don't be late now, mind.

SHE GROANS

- Do you think he's all right? - Yes.

That, what you call, Ronaldo was moody at his age by all accounts.

- Morning. - Hello, Michael.

- How's the head? - Oh, it's good.

It's clear.

It's level.

Right.

- Nice shorts, Yanto. - Thank you.

I like to keep people wondering.

So, Will, any plans today?

I'm going on a trip down Memory Lane,

revisiting some of the old haunts of Pontyberry.

- Nice. - And then I might go and watch the lad play football later.

Good, good. Zoe said you'd been very helpful with the bracelet.

Yeah, well, you know...

Did you get any sense out of the police when you spoke to them?

- No, not really. - They're pretty good round here, the police.

Don't you think?

Where are we going with this, - Michael? - Nowhere. I'm just saying.

Right.

Better get going.

Make the most of the day.

Jag, I need you to help me with something that's not quite illegal,

but would probably be considered slightly wrong.

We really shouldn't be doing this.

I know, Jag, you've said that already.

What are you actually looking for?

I won't know until I find it.

A-ha!

Got ya!

Ah! I've been looking for that everywhere.

I used to be able to solve it in just under 97 minutes.

Let's have a look.

Oh, God.

Will, hi, hi.

- All right, guys? - Hi.

I forgot my jacket.

JAG LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

Jag's getting a new fire escape put in and I am advising...

Actually, Jag, I think it would be better

coming from the left-hand side. - The left? - Yeah.

Anyway, we'll leave you in peace.

Right...

Hey, hey, hey, now... - What's going on? - Do you like it?

It's my new pop-up burger business

using only the finest Welsh ingredients.

But you are on my turf, Little Alan.

This just isn't cricket.

No, it's not. It's football.

And in the spirit of free enterprise,

I'm here to offer the punters a choice.

Not everyone wants to eat your manky bangers.

I'll have you know, young sir,

there's nothing manky about my bangers.

We'll let the customers be the judge of that, shall we?

Have either of you two seen young Billy?

All I've seen is deceit and treachery.

- No answer. - Right, well, keep trying.

Oh, I tell you what, my nerves are as raw as a rare burger.

Sausage... Burg...

She's got a good grip on her, mind.

Yeah, takes after her Great Aunt Brenda.

Hey, thanks for having her today.

That's OK.

Going down the allotment, aren't we, Molly?

No, it's Holly, it is, Glen.

Morning.

Hiya. What are you doing here?

I'm looking for a Pontyberry tour guide.

I smoked my first cigarette up here.

Me too. And your brother did.

Do you miss him? Rob?

That's a loaded question.

Well, Luke filled me in on everything. I know that Holly...

Well...

She's my niece, isn't she?

Yeah. She is.

It's complicated.

Stella, tell me to shut up if I'm being out of order, but...

...well, I reckon if you don't ask, you don't get.

Sounds ominous.

No, it's just...

Well, this lease for the premises I was telling you about.

For The Robert Morgan Foundation.

- Yeah. - Your brother'd be mortified

if he knew you'd named something after him.

Flattered, but mortified.

Probably.

Anyway, I was wondering...

...would you consider lending me the deposit?

There are definitely other backers who will come through for me,

just not before Wednesday.

So I reckon I'd pay you back within the month.

Six weeks max.

How much are we talking?

30. Grand, obviously.

Obviously.

And what makes you think I've got 30 grand kicking about?

Well, a little bird told me

that Luke gave you half his inheritance for Holly.

I mean, I would have asked Luke, but...

He hasn't got no money left.

PHONE RINGS

Luke. Just talking about you.

Oh, for God's sake.

Billy hasn't turned up to the football trials.

SHE SIGHS

You're meant to be practising your football, not your pool.

What's the point? I'll be living with a different family, won't I?

And Luke won't want to take me training, no Bobby,

cos you'll have all forgotten who I am.

Look, sunshine, you may have a poor opinion of most people,

but leave my family out of it

cos once you are in Stella Jackson's tribe, you're in it for good.

Whether you live in Timbuk-bloody-tu or Pontyberry West.

You're never going to get rid of me, presh.

So don't even try.

Now, are you over your hissy fit?

Cos I reckon if we leave straight away,

we might just about make it.

BLOWS WHISTLE Off you go.

Luke!

Are you trying to give me a seizure or what?

- Sorry, Bobs. - Go and get them, Beckham!

Come on!

- Luke. - Oh, mate, Zoe's told me all about the bracelet.

Oh, I am glad. Because it was awkward for me, that.

She didn't want to tell you straight away and I...

But I don't like secrets. You should have told me, really.

Yeah, I should.

I'm sorry, Luke.

No worries.

- All right? - Hiya.

Sorry I'm late. Had to drop Jen off at my Auntie Anne's.

I do love football, me.

Everton I support.

Cos I do like those stripy mints.

Yeah, go on, my son! Fucking show them what you're fucking made of.

- Hey, now, language! - Sorry.

That's it, Billy kid!

Frighten the living shit out of the little bastards.

One Way Or Another by Blondie

♪ One way or another

♪ I'm gonna find ya

♪ I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya

♪ One way or another

♪ I'm gonna win ya

♪ I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya

♪ One way or another

♪ I'm gonna see ya

♪ I'm gonna meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya

♪ One day, maybe next week

♪ I'm gonna meet ya, I'm gonna meet ya, I'll meet ya... ♪

- Stella. - Hope you are in a better mood today.

Yeah, sorry about last night.

The beer.

Did you find what you were looking - for, Mike? - What's this?

Oh, nothing.

Oh, when I went back for my jacket this morning,

Michael was searching my room.

I wasn't searching your room!

Michael's not my biggest fan, are you, Michael?

OK, then explain this.

I saw Darren Jenkins this morning from Pontyberry Police.

He wants to see you to get a statement about Zoe's bracelet.

Right.

- And? - Well, you told Zoe you'd already spoken to the police.

Look, eight years ago I was convicted for possession

and served six months in Pentonville.

Ever since then, I tend to stay away from the police.

Well, I don't blame you.

Luke was the same, weren't you, - presh? - I still am.

Satisfied now?

I've got nothing to hide, Michael.

Sorry to disappoint.

Excuse me, but while you've been jabbering away,

our protege has been talking to THE most famous Welsh football player

ever to exist.

Who's that, then?

- Craig Bellamy. - Is he more famous than Christian Bale?

You mean Gareth. It's Gareth Bale.

All right, the second most famous.

- What about Ryan Giggs? - Fair enough. - The third. - Robbie Savage.

All right, one of the most famous footballers

Wales have ever produced.

- Does he play for Everton? - Oh...

- Well played, mate. - Cheers.

And by the way, I'm much more famous than Robbie Savage, OK?

- Well? - He asked me if I had a club

and I said no and he said he'd recommend me for his academy.

- Oh, nice one! - Really?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Cardiff City?

Yeah.

Billy, well done. That's brilliant.

- Congratulations. - Yay!

Well, here we are, here's to Billy Matthews,

football international.

- Cheers! - Cheers!

Even though it is Cardiff.

Shut up.

I should imagine, once I get to know my real father a bit,

he'll have a few connections in the football world.

He'll help you out, kid.

I'm sorry about Michael.

I'm Rob Morgan's brother.

He's bound to distrust me.

I know, but it's not like him, that's all.

He's normally pretty level-headed.

I hope he doesn't put you off coming to see us again.

- Of course not. - And I know...

About what we were...

- Sorry. - I've been thinking about what we discussed earlier.

Yeah, me too, and I shouldn't have asked you, I'm sorry.

The thing is...

...it was so big of you forgiving Rob for what he'd done,

and I reckon if he'd been alive and you'd come making peace,

he'd have wanted to help.

So I've decided I'm going lend you 30 grand of Rob's money.

Stella... If I transfer it today,

it'll clear in time for you to put the deposit down on them premises.

Have you discussed this with Luke or Michael?

No. I'm just doing what I think Robert would have wanted.

Thank you.

PHONE RINGS

Paul?

Yeah. How's the weather in Vancouver today?

Listen, sorry to disturb you,

but you did say I could contact you

if I had any queries about Rob Morgan's estate.

Well, I just wondered why there was no mention of his brother, Will.

Really?

Did you see anyone buying a sausage in a basket?

Huh?

Er, no.

I think he was giving them away by the end.

Do you reckon Will Morgan fancies Stella Morris or what?

Maybe he's got a thing for old women.

No, that's great. Thanks very much.

It's ridiculous what you can do these days on a phone.

Control your central heating.

- Cook pizza. - Serious?

You are so gullible.

Ha... Right.

We're in.

Paranoid by Black Sabbath

♪ Finished with my woman

♪ Cos she couldn't help me with my mind

♪ People think I'm insane

♪ Because I am frowning all the time... ♪

Bloody signal! Give it here a second.

Works better outside sometimes.

Well, it's going through.

Shit. It's asking for your password again.

Oh.

♪ Can you help me

♪ Occupy my brain?

♪ Whoa, yeah... ♪

Jesus.

What's going on, Mike?

Hiya, Will. Have you got a minute?

Only I was wondering... Not now, Nadine.

It's just I would love to... Not now, Nadine!

Fuck's sake.

Will.

We found this in your room.

You can report me for burglary if you like,

but I doubt you'll want to.

Eh?

Never give up, do you, Mike?

Well, he's obviously planted it, hasn't he?

You said yourself that he had it in for me.

Well, I didn't put it quite like that.

I spoke to your brother's solicitor in Canada earlier.

Seems the real reason you and Rob fell out

was because you took a large sum of money

from your parents back in 1998. What?

I borrowed it. I didn't take it.

You never paid them back. Nor did you ever go out with Hannah.

That was a lie too, wasn't it?

Keep your fucking hands off it.

I always knew he was a wrong 'un. Absolutely. Absolutely.

I can't believe he lied about so much!

The charity, being an addict.

Yeah, and all that stuff about my dad.

I mean, how can anyone in all conscience

nick their parents' life savings?

I don't think Will had a conscience - that's the point.

- Ow. - Sorry.

God, no wonder Rob wanted nothing to do with him.

And to think, I was going to lend him 30 grand.

He was very convincing, Stella.

Everyone was taken in. You saw right through him.

Well, only because I'm a callous,

cynical man of the law who doesn't trust anyone.

Right, well, tomorrow I'm onto the auction house.

Want to get rid of this thing as soon as possible.

I've been feeling sick ever since I bloody bought it, truth be told.

You know what's hurt the most?

Getting to know him was...

I don't know. It was like having Rob back again.

Better get the kids home, babe.

- Yeah. - See you.

- So long. - See you.

So, you still coming to my graduation,

Mr Cynical Man Of The Law?

Am I still invited?

Of course. I want you and Holly to shout really loudly

and embarrass me.

Come on, Michael, please.

Stella, it's just... Oh, sorry, no, forget it.

I shouldn't have said nothing.

The police are ready for your - statement now, my friend. - Right.

Subtitles by Ericsson

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