Original subtitles

The following programme contains strong language.

This is quite awkward.

- - What are we doing? - Stella. - No.

- You were amazing. - As were you.

Right, stop hogging him, Mike, let Stella have a go.

No, you're all right. Jackson.

'It's Daddy.'

He died last night.

Morning.

Cup of tea?

HE GASPS

Oh, look, Bobs, we can't have them closed all day.

Stell, the funereal legend that was Daddy Simpson have died.

He'd want as to honour the old traditions.

Three days of mourning till the funeral, stop the clocks

and shut the curtains.

Hey, now listen, I am gutted about Daddy. Cut to the quick, I am.

But Paula's arriving any minute, and Katie. I've got to tidy up.

PHONE RINGS

I can't be running the Dyson round in the dark, can I?

'Hi, Stella, it's Rob.

'Stella?'

You have reached the voicemail of Stella Morris.

Please leave a message after the beep.

Beep!

'It's been two weeks and I haven't heard from you.'

Are we OK?

You promised you wouldn't get weird about things.

'Now you're pretending to be your own voicemail, which is VERY weird.'

Stella, I know you're there.

'Stella?'

You want some more? More?

- Morning. - Morning, beautiful.

Test me on these, babe.

Cremains... Pallbearer...

Rigor mortis, isn't that a village near Bargoed?

Luke! I've got to know my stuff.

I'm chuffed Ivan would even let me work on Daddy's funeral.

The man was a legend. Eh, don't be stressing.

As soon as the bookings are up for the boxing,

I'll get that last lot of equipment,

and you can be back here with the kids and I'll take the strain.

OK?

OK.

PHONE VIBRATES

Oh, bum!

Tit!

DOORBELL KEEPS RINGING

All right, keep your knackers on!

So...

I got a mega-late holiday deal.

Off megalateholidaydeal.com.

Magaluf, it is. £199, all-inclusive.

Er, you can't take Jackson to Magaluf.

He's only two weeks old, mun.

I know. - That's why you're having him. - What?

Wipes, nappies, and a nice bit of bonding time

with his dad and step-mam.

- Beyonce? - My Nana Pat will have him if you won't.

Or Auntie Rhian? What about his feeds?

I can't just buy breast milk up Londis.

Relax, Stell. I've never been one for all that titty lark.

My mate did it with her first-born, Bieber, and that bloody brat is

still clamped to her baps at six years of age.

Don't worry, Jackson's on the bottle.

Er, hi.

Everything OK?Believe it or not, Beyonce has gone on holiday.

So we've got a little visitor for the week.

- You're kidding? - Don't worry, I know you're dead busy,

so I've already asked Jag for a bit of time off.

Don't be ridiculous, I'll come home.

I'll just finish off a few things and head straight to Paddington.

Are you sure? Of course, he's my son.

What I mean is,

I can't expect you to, you know, you shouldn't have to look after him.

Should you?

We're in the middle of a meeting, - Michael. - I know, I know.

And I'm sorry, but there's really nothing here I can't do at home.

Why don't we pop in a conference call later in the week?

And firelighters, we'll definitely need them. And water,

get the half-litre bottles cos they're easier to carry.

Carry where?

Camping. Up Conkers Field, - by the woods. - Cool!

Ben's meant to be coming and all, if he makes his mind up.

He might not want to come cos of me.

He's gone weird again since the dance competition.

Can I come?

Yeah, if you want. All you need is a sleeping bag and sausages.

Everyone do eat sausages camping.

Sorry, Jame, you're still grounded for shoplifting, love.

Come on, Mum, please.

That was ages ago, Carole.

And camping is character building.

But if I make an exception for this,

what's the point of grounding him in the first place?

- Working on something good? - No.

Stell?

Oh, love, come here.

You must be exhausted after that trip.

What can I get you? Tea? Coffee?

Gin!

SHE WAILS

What's up, man?

Hiya, all right.

Safe, bro.

Sorry to hear about your dad.

How's he doing?

- He's OK, like. - Same as my mam.

We're cancer brothers now, Lukey boy.

My dad's got a heart condition.

Terminal is terminal, butt.

I'm trying to get through her bucket list at the moment, bro.

Done a lot so far, Pina Colada,

big Primark in Cardiff,

ALL the Fast And Furious films.

Ah, just stuck on Porthcawl now, innit?

Porthcawl's only down the road.

She wants to go to the Elvis festival, though, don't she?

And we're talking travel, ticket, beer money.

Do you have any dosh I could lend? I'll pay you back.

I can't, butt, you know that. Don't borrow, don't lend, don't enable.

Fair dos. I just know it would make her day,

seeing one of them Chinese Elvises doing Hound Dog.

I don't suppose either of you would be interested

in signing my petition, would you?

I've decided to campaign for a statue of Daddy to be built.

Someone's got to do something,

cos them layabouts at the council won't.

I'm thinking bronze, 15ft, location TBC.

WOMAN SOBS

He went to bed as usual with his cocoa

and the 50 Shades trilogy.

He was so looking forward to surfing the next day.

And then... when I took in his cup of tea in the morning,

he'd gone.

- Surfing? - No!

He'd died in his sleep, you idiot.

And he is definitely, you know, dead, like, in't he?

Cos of what happened last time.

Oh, shut up.

Oh, sorry, Stel,

all I've done is blub today.

It's all right, love, it's normal.

It's exhausting is what it is.

Let's talk about something a bit lighter.

I hear Rob Morgan's got chronic heart disease.

Well, it's true, isn't it?

STELLA SIGHS It's been such a shock, Paul.

And, of course, he's a stubborn bugger, won't talk about it.

So I'm just trying to support him best I can, you know,

be there for him and that.

You spend a lot of time together, then, do you?

Oh, bollocks!

- Has he shagged you? - What?! No! - Kissed your bazoomers? - Paula!

- Touched you're vajojo? - Stop it!

We just had this... moment, that's all.

A kiss for the dying, was it? Not even a kiss.

It was a... A nearly a kiss.

Stel! What you doing, man?

- What about Michael? - I know.

But, in all fairness,

things have been a bit tough between me and him lately.

He so busy with work and Jackson and Beyonce.

He barely notices me, to be honest.

Darling, I'm home.

Hiya.

HE SIGHS

So nice to be back.

- Thank God you called. - Oh!

So, I've got emergency gin for you, Paula,

and flowers for my lovely - - girlfriend. - Oh. - Hmm?

Er, Paula, I'm terribly sorry about Daddy.

If there's anything we can do - to help? - Actually, there is.

Will you take a quick squiz at Daddy's will,

cos I can't bring myself to look at it without...

PAULA SOBS

I can't...!

SHEEP BLEAT

Is my little soldier ready for his milky-pops?

Yes, he is.

Yes, he definitely is.

Wait till he's had three of them and two grandkids,

the novelty wears off, I'm telling you.

It's coming. It's coming.

Are you ready? Drink it up. Come on.

- Come on. - Oh, look at that gorgeous dimple.

- Where did that come from? - That's pure Beyonce. Don't you think, Stel?

Er, can't say I've noticed, really.

Oh, dribble alert.

Go and get a dribble rag, Katie, clean ones upstairs.

Were you this attentive when I was - a baby? - Hurry, please. PHONE RINGS

It's OK, I'll go.

I know where the clean ones are. PHONE RINGS

Can I at least hold him? Yeah, of course, darling.

No need to ask. BABY GURGLES

OK, got him?

- Hello? - Oh, funny, didn't have you down as a fair-weather friend.

Look, I'm sorry I haven't been in touch, OK,

I've just been really busy.

Oh, it's fine, I'm only dying. Oh, shut up, Rob!

- Seriously! - Sorry.

I just missed talking to you, that's all.

'Can't you come round?'

Maybe later. I've got to go.

What time? - I don't know, after lunch? - OK.

SHE SIGHS

- All right, Little Al? - No.

- What's up with him? - No sleep, that's - what. - That baby can cry for Wales.

Britain, more like - Olympic standard.

Oh, cheer up, the pair of you.

It's only a bit of sleep.

Look, love, babies just kind of take over.

They need a lot of attention, that's all.

Yeah, but it's not even like he's yours.

Hey, he's part of our family. Now behave.

Take these down for me.

A little smile for Daddy.

Oh, isn't he adorable? If you say so.

Right, a dribble rag for our little baby boy

and a proposition for our big baby boy.

How about I lend you the car - to go camping? - The new one?!

I'm being kind, Ben, not stupid.

The old one, obviously.

Come on, it's way better than getting the crappy bus.

Plus, you'll get a quiet night's sleep.

Fine. You coming, Katie? Sorry, I'm here to see Jackson.

Are you supporting his head? He's not a Tiny Tears doll, you know.

There's little vertebrae growing in that neck. Come here, buddy.

Actually, camping sounds great. BABY CRIES

Paula Simpson, Ivan Schloss. - Schloss. - Schloss.

The new undertaker, I take it?

I have been in this business for some time.

Not in Pontyberry, you haven't.

Er, this is what we've organised for Daddy's funeral so far.

If you'd care to peruse.

Ha!

- - Horses? - Of courses. - Feathered? Undoubtedly.

- Themed floral tribute? - Carnations in the spelling of D-A-D-D-Y.Hmm.

Dress code black.

I don't think so.

But he was a funeral director, Paul, it's traditional!

He was also a country and western singer, bus conductor,

stand-up comedian, speech therapist.

Daddy led a lot of lives before he settled on

the box-'em-and-bury-'em trade. And honour that we must.

Which is why I have suggested

an alternative colourful-life dress code over the page.

Hmm.

What trim were you thinking for the catafalque?

HE MOUTHS

As we all know, a catafalque is the box

the coffin rests on whilst in state.

So we were thinking crushed red velvet.

Perfect!

PHONE BUZZES Sorry, that's me.

Oh, Christ! Not again!

I keep getting voicemails from some old mate of Daddy's called Rubber.

Only wants to sing at the bloody funeral.

It's going to be a car crash!

But I can't say no, can I?

PAULA SIGHS HEAVILY

Thanks for sorting that for me, Bobs. Daddy would've been so proud.

Oh, ta, Pauls. It means a lot.

Oh, come here.

My God! Is it Paula?

Come to pay your respects to Daddy, have you?

Did he bury one of your relatives, - my love? - No.

He was my daddy.

Whoo! Stop it! LAUGHTER

Get a room, you two!

Look, I know you didn't want to come,

you don't have to screw it up for - everyone. - Sorry, Al, it's just...

Fine, I'll stop being a mardy arse now.

Drink?

Home brew, made by yours truly.

- Want some? - Er, no, ta.

I'm done with getting wasted. It don't help when you're on a downer.

What have you got to be on a downer about?

♪ You are so beautiful... ♪

Nothing, really.

It's nice, but it could be better.

I was looking for a smoother finish.

♪ ..to me

♪ Can't you see? ♪

I knew I should've gone for those Chinook hops, would have created a more layered flavour, you know?

It's home brew, not bloody champagne.

HE LAUGHS

I don't know. We almost kissed. What was that about, for God's sake?

Yeah, but we didn't, so what's the problem?

The fact that we almost did is the problem, OK?OK.

I'm all over the shop at the moment.

Little Jackson has come along and you know me,

I love babies. But he's not mine, is he? He's Beyonce's.

And I know Michael is happy with me.

It's just... him and her, they've got this bond now and I'm...

You're what?

I'm never going to be part of it.

Me and Michael are never going to have a baby,

and then when I see Beyonce holding Jackson,

looking all young and gorgeous, it makes me feel past it.

Normally stuff like that doesn't bother me.

I mean, everyone's got bumps and wrinkles.

I've just got a shed-load more than I did when I was 16.

Oh, Christ.

Turned you into my therapist now.

You are as beautiful to me now as you were at 16, Stella Morris.

More beautiful, in fact. I mean it.

Now...

actually I'm going to kiss you.

- - Nice one.Cheers. - Thanks. - Ta-ra. See you next week.

Classes gone well?

Can't complain. How's your mum's - bucket list coming along? - Shit.

We're skipping Porthcawl now.

Said I'd buy her the new Elvis triple-disc compilation instead.

She can listen to him in her bedsit. Not that she goes out much anyway.

Only for chemo, like.

Look, I probably shouldn't be doing this but I've got 90 quid here.

I'll give it to you for your mum's trip,

as long as you give it back soon as.

You're joking.

Fucking hell!

My mum will go jailhouse rocking crazy when she finds out.

Cheers, buddy.

She's having a turn, I'm telling you.

It's just absolutely unbeliev...

Is this the new issue?

DOOR OPENS

All right? Where have you been?

Why? What's going on? It's like being in Albert Square.

This bloke has turned up claiming to - be her half-brother. - What?

- Joking. - I wish. Has Daddy mentioned any siblings in his will?

Have I got a brother from another mother?

No. As far as I can see, there's no mention of a sibling here.

There you are. All nonsense.

He reckoned Daddy met his mum

when Daddy was ringmaster in a circus.

Daddy was never in a circus. Yes, he was.

Christ, he kept busy, didn't he?

And this Jake bloke's in the circus and all.

He's a clown, apparently.

Er... Yeah, hang on, Daddy has bequeathed something to a Jake.

Oh! Please don't say it's his Troll doll collection.

He promised me that. No, that's all yours,

as are the Led Zeppelin LPs.

He's just left Jake a ringmaster's hat and a whip.

How could Daddy do it to me, Stell?

How could he keep Coco the Clown secret from me all them years?

I don't know.

Maybe he's worried you'd react... well, like you're reacting.

Maybe.

NADINE SOBS

Nadine? Everything all right? Yeah, great, fine. Why?

Cos you've been crying and you look like shit.

SHE SOBS

Aw! What's wrong?

- I kissed Ivan Schloss. - Did you?

After the dance competition. How could I be so cruel to Karl?

I'm like one of them floozies off Made In Chelsea.

Only classier, obviously.

I'm married to one man but enslaved by another.

It's the dancing, see.

When Ivan's a-move he just turns into... Nijinsky.

Don't be disgusting. Ivan's more of a Michael Flatley.

What the hell am I going to do?

Oh, Nadine, we all make mistakes.

- Exactly. - And these things happen.

Yes, they do.

You've just got to draw a line under the whole thing

and forget it ever happened.

And don't do it again. No chance of that.

Eh?!

What I mean is, it's done now, isn't it?

You've just got to let it go and move on.

It was only a kiss, for God's sake!

It's not like you had sex with him or something.

Yeah, no point throwing away a good thing for the sake of some

silly dream that's not going to go anywhere.

What do you reckon, Stell?

Absolutely.

Right, well, thanks for that.

Don't breathe a word of this, will you?

- - So long. - See you. - Ta-ra.

So then, good girl, you got something to tell me?

Al, Al, wake up!

- What's up? - I don't know.

One minute we was building the fire and the next minute he's out of it.

Building the fire and boozing, by the looks of it.

He was trying to taste the honey tones, see,

and then he just conked out. Oi, Little Al! Little Alan!

- Oh! - Oh, my God.

It's like one of those emergency 999 shows.

Don't be daft, he's just drunk, that's all, same as you pair.

She's right, Ben, Al could die. Look, no-one's dying, all right?

Cerys, take the tent down, Katie, get our stuff

and I'll put Little Alan in the car.

We can take him to my mam's first, she can check him out

and see if he needs the hospital. OK?OK.

- Hurry up, then! - All right.

HE GROANS

Oh, look, I said it was just kiss, all right?!

A long, passionate kiss, admittedly, but just a kiss.

And did you enjoy it? Yes, I enjoyed it.

So, yet again, Rob sodding Morgan has crept inside your heart and...

Don't say knickers because he's come nowhere near.

Can I just remind you of the facts here?

OK, so his parents made him go to Canada at 17 but he never came back,

not for 25 years, and then two years ago

he could have stayed in Pontyberry and married you.

But he didn't, he trotted off back to Vancouver,

where, incidentally, he's got a new girlfriend.

Look, I just want to make sure that you don't wake up tomorrow

morning and throw all your cards in the air for him.

You're in a good place now, Stell.

Michael is so lovely.

You really don't need to tell me that, Paula, OK?

PHONE BEEPS

It's Katie.

The kids are on their way home,

Little Alan has had too much to drink.

Christ, teenagers are such pussies.

Chinook hops, it's the aroma, butt.

What's going on?

Nothing, Presh. You just relax, OK?

There'll be no more home brewing for you.

That stuff was poison, Stell. I can tell.

Is he going to be all right, - Mam? - Yeah.

A bit of a sore head in the morning but he'll survive.

Here's a bin in case you puke.

HE SNORES

Where is he? Keckers!

Where's my money?

I sent my Mam to the Elvis Festival with it, didn't I?

Yeah, what you doing in here, then? Trip only cost 40 quid, like.

- What, for everything, like? - The lot.

Ticket, bus trip, B&B and dinner with a glass of Lambrini.

- Where's my other 50, then? - I put it on the 3:30 at Kempton.

Jeffie's Bangle, proper tidy odds.

I was going to pay you back plus another 50,

but he didn't even place.

Jeffie's Bollocks, more like.

Your dad'll sort you out, though, won't he? He's loaded.

That's not how it goes, Keck.

I was going to use that cash for gym equipment for the business,

now you've fucked it all up. Sorry, but I couldn't help myself.

Well, try harder. You'd better be in that meeting next week, or else.

You can't just give up because you're a massive dickhead.

What are you working on these days?

Nothing, just Ponty Zombie 2 and stuff.

Cool, can I see?

No, it's rubbish, honest. Oh, I bet it's not.

- What's that? - No, don't!

♪ You are so beautiful... ♪

SHE GASPS

♪ To me... ♪

I should...

♪ Can't you see...? ♪

I'm going to go.

♪ Everything I hoped for... ♪

Now, remember, no talking, no coughing and no mobile phone.

Right, this is me.

Right, I'll see you for dinner, I'm cooking.

Oh, sweetheart, double shift, I won't be back until gone 11. Sorry.

Hey, good luck with the phone call. - - Thanks. - Bye. - Bye.

Right.

Right, if anyone comes to the door, tell them to go away.

This is a very important conference call.

BABY CRIES

Please hold while we try to connect you.

Will you go and get Stella back? I need someone to have the baby now.

Here's an idea, why don't I have the baby? I am his sister,

not that you'd know because you're so busy being Super Dad,

nobody else gets a look in.

BABY CRIES

Oh, Katie, darling, I'm sorry. Of course you should have him.

See, it's not so different from Tiny Tears after all. Shh-shh.

Thanks, sweetheart.

'When you're quite done with the family histrionics,

'could we please start this call?'

Give me a drink, Stell, I am gasping.

I haven't had nothing since an hour ago.

- Paula. - Oh, will you just go away?!

Oh, my God, are you the brother?!

Yes, I am.

Hey, fuck-face, you are not my cowing brother, OK?

So don't be spreading them lies of yours, Ronald McDonald.

Actually, I am a clown in the more traditional sense.

I don't care if you're the cocking cock himself. Now, do one!

I will. I will do one but I just wanted you to have these.

These are Daddy's letters to me all about you.

Photos, newspaper articles.

He was so proud.

Right, I'll just leave you two to it.

I'll go collect some glasses.

My mother's name was Doreen.

Apparently Daddy fell for her when he saw her do the slack wire.

You may have heard of her, Slack Door.

I can't say I have.

Well, she's still going strong to this day.

Though, she's 94 now so she tends to stick to the unicycle.

She used to say that Daddy was the finest ringmaster

this side of Treorchy.

I can well believe it. He could turn his hand to anything.

He sounds like he was a wonderful man, Paula.

Best of the best.

Even when I hated him, I knew how much he cared for my mum.

The love letters he wrote her, oh, beautiful!

He truly adored her.

Are you saying that Daddy loved YOUR mammy more than he loved MY mammy?

I wouldn't put it like that, I was just saying...

I will have you know that my mammy was Daddy's one and only.

Well, she couldn't have been his only, otherwise I wouldn't be here.

I am not going to stand for this.

Their love was true and pure.

So why don't you just bugger off back up your big top, Bozo?

♪ I've been doing some soul searching... ♪

PHONE BEEPS

Evening. Everything all right?

Yeah, good.

All good.

♪ In all kinds of foreign lands

♪ Someone like you make it All worthwhile

♪ Someone like you... ♪

Right a bit, boys.

I'm thinking your advice is unnecessary, Aunty Brenda,

seeing as Bobby and I are the professionals.

Yeah, you tell her, Ive.

Aunty Brenda. What the hell are you wearing?!

I'm celebrating Daddy's colourful life, innit?

Didn't you get the memo, Aunty Brenda?

SHE GASPS

As it happens, no, I did not get the memo

because I was too busy doing you a job.

Almost 900 signatures, all in favour of some form of commemoration

of Daddy Simpson.

Fair dos.

We was out of order not sorting something like this.

- Thank you. - It's all right, George!

No thanks necessary, though I hope this means

that we can put the little misunderstanding behind us

so I can go back to devoting my life

to people of Pontyberry again as mayor.

Christ, Aunty Brenda, you'd need to do more than build

a statue of Daddy to get this chain back.

You'd have to raise him from the crypt.

There ain't no way we're inflicting you on this town again.

You know what? Stuff your bloody chain where the sun don't shine.

Could I...

have a word?

So that's why I've come to tell you, I can't do this no more.

Like George Michael did say, I'm never going to dance again.

Guilty feet rhythm got not. Exactly.

Sort of.

I'm sorry you felt that way, Nadine.

Such intense emotions it was never my intention to encourage.

You what?

It is an effect upon most women I produce.

And one that is actually a bit of a bear to cross.

- Cross to bear? - Hm, that too.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have a convoy of hearses - I must choreograph. - Heartless!

That's what you are.

I'm not some bimbo after a quick bonk and a burger

at Frankie & Benny's.

You made me feel like we had something special,

like we was dance champions.

You was Michael Flatley, I was Caroline Flack.

Only prettier, obviously.

Now you're telling me it meant nothing!

Nothing.

Careless Whisper by George Michael

My God, Nadine Bevan, what have you done to me?!

I am but a simple man and did not think such violent things

to simple people could happen.

That woman is a bloody whirling dervish.

HE SIGHS

She certainly is.

♪ Those boys who mourn the young beauties

♪ But now I find I'm more inclined

♪ To keep my mind on my duties

♪ For since I came to care For such a sweet millionaire... ♪

Quite tasteful for Pontyberry.

- How's your hangover? - Massive.

This is a funeral of colour, Rhian, didn't you get the memo?

Plenty of colour in these flames, man.

Not that orange splodge,

that's my chicken chasni from last night.

Jesus, you seen how far back it goes?

Every bugger in the Berry must be here today.

Everyone except Rob Morgan.

I suspect he didn't want to come face-to-face

with a certain someone.

Who do you mean?

The Grim Reaper, kid.

You don't want to be at a funeral when he's already at home

packing his bags.

♪ So I simply couldn't be bad

♪ Yes, my heart belongs to Daddy... ♪

BELLS TOLL

What should I do, Stell?

This one is up to you, Presh.

Family's family.

Come on...

let's go in.

And then I know we all remember One-Legged Linda's funeral.

Daddy got up in front of everyone,

grabs hold of her prosthesis and says...

HE IMITATES DADDY

And that is why I loved the man so very, very much.

He was my boss, my mentor

but most of all...

he was my dear, dear friend.

I'm sorry.

I don't have a story about Daddy to share with you today.

They'll be enough of them at the Risky Fox later.

And I don't have a fond remembrance to make us all cry.

I just have two very simple words

I'd like to say to Daddy.

Thank you.

Thank you for being the bright,

beautiful man that you were

and thank you for inspiring us every single day.

And thank you for showing me,

and continuing to show me even now,

that families come in all different shapes and sizes.

And love comes in different forms

and if you are lucky enough to have this,

even a tiny little bit of it,

then you've got to embrace it

and not turn it away.

HE WHISPERS UNDER HIS BREATH

Oh, God, we forgot about him.

SHE SIGHS

I'd like to introduce you to an old mate of Daddy's,

apparently, who wants to sing you a little song.

Let's hope he keeps it short.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Rubber.

You're on!

Bloody hell, that's Robert Plant!

AUDIENCE GASPS

This one's for you, Daddy.

See you on the stairway.

I didn't know Daddy knew him.

He told me he roadied for them back in the day

but I took it with a pinch of salt.

He even said he gave him the nickname.

Rubber Plant.

♪ Baby, give me something

♪ To remember you by

♪ Just a little bit of something

♪ So love won't die

♪ Oh, please, give me something

♪ To remember you by

♪ Baby, give me something

♪ To remember you by

♪ Well, a little bit of something

♪ So love won't die... ♪

Of course, I saw Robert Plant with Led Zeppelin at Knebworth.

- '78. - And 79.

Aye, he's good as cocking gold.

Just signed my chest, so he did. Do you want a look?

- No. - You're all right, thanks.

- Go on, just a sip. - Funny.

What is up with her today?

♪ Tell me that your sweet love hasn't died... ♪

- How do think it went? - Awesome. Daddy would have been proud of you.

♪ Give me one more chance... ♪

I know it's not the full whack, but I'll get it all

back to you eventually.

Ta for believing in me, buddy. Oh, cheers, Keck.

Before I forget, someone wants to meet you.

Mammy, this is Luke, the bloke who paid for your trip.

Oh, you're an angel sent from heaven, you are.

I would never have met Hong Feng Evans if it weren't for you.

Hong Feng Evans?

♪ You were always on my mind... ♪

They hit it off in Porthcawl, big time.

It could be wedding bells before she carks at this rate.

At least some good's come out of it, eh?

I only met him a couple of times but he seemed like

one of life's good ones.

Yeah, with a really disgusting sense of humour.

Michael, I'd really like you to meet my half-brother Jake.

Nice shoes.

- Cheers. - They look comfortable. They're absolutely killing me.

Can I get you a drink?

Sorry, what can I get you to drink?

Shall we have whiskies all-round? - Yeah. - Coming up.

Thanks are being there for me today, - Stell. - That's all right, Presh.

She's brilliant, isn't she?

Everyone should have a Stella in their life, don't you think?

- Too right. - I'll go and help Jake. See you in a minute, gorgeous.

And you really want to lose that, - do you? - No, of course not.

Then stop faffing around and tell Rob Morgan that kiss

was a mistake, not to be repeated.

Heart condition or no heart condition. I am serious, Stell.

You know, you've got to put him straight before Ian goes tits-up.

Yeah, all right, stop telling me what to do, woman.

I'll work it out for myself, OK?

♪ I just want you to be sure That I'm yours ♪

♪ That I am yours. ♪

I wanted to tell you to stop it, stop kissing me.

Aunty Brenda, you stand accused of

bringing this council into disrepute.

You know how much I love her.

Yeah, and that's why I'd never, ever do anything about it.

I'm sorry, OK?Too late, traitor.

You want a fight? Bring it on, old man.

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