All language subtitles for Royal.Pains.S01E02.There.Will.Be.Food.720p.WEB-DL.DD5.1.h.264-RANDi

I'm Hank. I was your typical
emergency room doctor.

Until I got fired.

ADMINISTRATOR: You let a
billionaire hospital trustee die

to save some kid
off the street.

I made a judgment call.

You made a mistake.

HANK: This is my brother.

I'm Evan R. Lawson, CPA.

HANK: He took me away from my
troubles and to the Hamptons.

And suddenly, I had a chance to
become a whole new kind of doctor.

It turns out the wealthy
and not so wealthy out here

could use a guy who
makes house calls.

So, I've got a second chance
to do what I do best.

What...

Can I help you?

It's an abomination,
what you're doing.

You can't separate
an egg from a yolk.

It's like separating
the Earth from the moon,

or thunder from lightning,
or Hall from Oates.

You just compared Daryl Hall
to the Earth.

What do you know about taste?

And egg whites happen to be loaded with
protein, low in calories, have no fat, and...

Tastes like it.

Oh!
What did you do?

In the bowl, Hank. The goal
is to get the egg in the bowl.

Look. I spent years at a job where I had
to scrub in and out countless times a day.

I'm messy at home because I
can be. Now look, I'll clean up.

Oh, really? You'll clean up?
Like you clean up your clothes?

Or the towel
on the bathroom floor?

Who are you?

All I'm saying is, it's been
really great living with you again.

You know,
it's like old times.

Sharing a place with my
big brother, and the bonding

and everything...
Wait for it. Here it comes.

But you are the biggest slob
I've ever met in my life.

So, I make a mess,
I clean it up.

No. You make a mess
and I clean it up.

What does it matter?
It's our home.

It matters because A,
you're a slob.

And B... It's not just our home.
It's also going to be our office.

HankMed's workstation.
I... That...

Check it out.
I made a blueprint.

Okay. So, I've divided
the space into quadrants.

Quadrants?
It's four parts.

I know what
a quadrant is.

Work environment in quadrant one,
sleeping quarters in quadrant two.

Stop saying "quadrant."

Wet bar in...
Wet bar over here.

Wet bar?
Yeah, wet bar.

That's pretty cool, right?
It's what people do out here.

What? Get soused?
Yeah, basically.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Are you going to
get that?

Uh...

No, ah, ah, ah, ah!
Work before food.

This is Hank. Hi. Of course.
Just text me the address. Okay.

Yeah?
I just...

No. No.

All right.

Have fun.

HANK: Hey.
Hey.

Everything okay?

Yeah. Follow me.

Sure. What's up?

Good morning.

Just play along.

Dr. Lawson, Sheila Montgomery.
So glad you could make it.

Me, too.

From what Jill tells me, you
and this turnkey, center hall,

modern colonial
are made for each other.

I had no idea you were so familiar
with my architectural leanings.

I surprise people.

Dr. Lawson, allow me to
show you the great room.

I don't want to waste
your time. What?

I'm not really
a big great room man.

But this, however, is
truly a great, great room.

One of the greatest.
And it's really great.

Sorry to pry. I
couldn't help but notice.

What did you do
to your arm?

Oh, burned myself taking cookies
out of the oven. Occupational hazard.

It's a little realtor trick. Before
you show a place, bake fresh cookies.

It makes a house
smell like a home.

Aw. Well, that explains my sudden
craving for a glass of milk.

Did you see a doctor
about that?

Oh. Don't worry, Hank.
Sheila's on top of it.

She has to be,
as a diabetic.

Diabetic? You really should see
your doctor, get that looked at.

I will. I just have a full
day of potential renters.

If you leave that wound untreated,
it could get very serious.

You are
absolutely right.

Let me show you
the master bedroom.

Little doctor trick.

When you're a doctor with a busy
diabetic who has an untreated burn,

you treat it.

I want you to shower
the wound, using soap,

three to four times a day.
Make sure you pat it dry

and cover it
with a clean bandage.

If it starts looking red, or puss-ey,
I want you to call me immediately.

And watch your sugars,
okay?

Thanks.

Are you sure you don't want to see
the basement? It was just renovated.

Hank has to
get back to work.

Yes. I do.

Then, promise me you'll come
back and see the house at sunset.

Oh, I don't...
It's magical then.

It is?

Key's under the mat.
Bring a bottle of wine.

I guarantee it's the most
romantic view in the Hamptons.

How can I
say no to that?

Why did I say
yes to that?

Because you're
a good guy.

And who is she again?

Sheila's a neighbor.
Her COBRA coverage ran out,

and I offered to help,
but she's too proud.

Thanks for coming,
and being so cool.

Cool? That's me,
you know.

Mr. Cool. No, no. Look,
I'm happy to do it.

Just give me a little
warning next time?

My playing along skills
are still coming along.

Yeah, well, hopefully,
there won't be a next time.

I'm sending letters to all the
patients who've been frozen out

of the hospital, letting them
know that the Hamptons free clinic

is on schedule to
open in the fall.

Congratulations.
Well, thank you.

For some reason, I find myself
craving chocolate chip cookies.

You want to grab
a bite to eat?

I only have 30 minutes
until my next meeting.

We'll take big bites.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hey, Divya.
What time is it?

Oh. Okay, okay.
Rain check?

We'll see.

"We'll see."

Hey, guys.
Sorry I'm late.

TUCKER: Well, rule number one
of concierge doctoring, Hank.

You don't keep
the rich people waiting.

Good to know.

Yeah, actually,
come to think of it,

concierge doctors in the
Hamptons by definition

are required to be arrogant,
boring, and quick to scope out Libby

(LAUGHS)
When she's in a bikini.

Cut me some slack. I'm new at
this. But also good to know.

You seem to lack
all of those qualities.

Wow. Thank you guys so much.

Okay. Shall we remove
the sutures?

Yes. Should we
just do it out here?

I don't see why not.

This will be my first
suture extraction pool-side.

(EXCLAIMS) The surgeon
did nice work.

TUCKER: He was under
a lot of pressure.

Why? Was your father
standing over him?

No. I was.

Imagine being Mozart's piano tuner,
but then more stressful than that.

I guess your dad didn't
visit? Right. Busy man.

We're all busy, Hank.

All right. You may feel a little pull.

TUCKER: I'll live.

Tucker, we never received your
father's signed form of consent.

I'd be happy
to forge one.

You really should see his
forgeries. They are works of art.

Yeah, you know what?
How about we get an original?

TUCKER: Yeah. Just as
soon as Dad gets back.

Oh. There's a retirement party this
afternoon Mr. Bryant is invited to,

and Tucker has to represent the
family. You guys want to come?

Retirement party? Sounds like a can't
miss. Unfortunately, I'll miss it.

(TUCKER LAUGHING)

HANK: Okay. You're all done.

Hank, it might be
a good thing for us to go.

In what way would it be good for
us to go to a retirement party?

Come on, Hank. Old people? High
incomes? Higher blood pressure?

It's your prime demo.

Hank, the kid's right.

Who's the retiree?

Well, I'm ready to leave.

We just got here.

You know what? I'm actually
with Hank on this one.

The average age here
is dead.

KLINER: Everyone, please welcome
Tess Premoli, as she premieres for us

what will be her final piece with
the San Francisco Ballet next Sunday.

Ballerinas.

(ALL APPLAUDING)

Wait a minute.
That's the retiree?

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(ALL APPLAUDING)

That was beautiful.

She certainly is.

Hottest card-carrying member
of the AARP I've ever seen.

Plus, as a retired person, it won't
cost as much to take her to the movies.

Forget it. I called dibs. Okay?
Any hot ballerina is all mine.

That's one of my ground rules. Okay.

Anyway, yours is
over there.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Who is that guy
Jill's talking to?

Not you.

KLINER: I would love to
help you out, but I'm sorry.

You already... Wait. Don't walk
away. I'm not finished with this.

Listen, I am not going to
have this discussion here.

This conversation
is not over.

Hi. How's your neighbor?

Sheila? She's okay. Better.

Are you okay?

Mmm. I'm fine.

Maybe you should
slow down there.

Now that would
defeat the purpose.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you
very much. I'm very happy to hear it.

Thank you for having me.
Thank you.

Outstanding work. Having
sat through The Nutcracker

every Christmas since
I was, like, three,

I can say that with
full confidence.

Having played my share of Sugar
Plum Fairies, I can say thank you.

(LAUGHING)

Evan R. Lawson,
CFO of HankMed.

And so much more.

MAN: Oh, there she is.

So... Yeah.
Excuse me. Hi.

Feel this. Silk.

How much do you think
this benefit costs?

I don't know.
A lot?

(SCOFFS) Twice that.
At least.

Do you know how much
these things run?

I don't.
I do.

See, we've thrown parties
at the hospital.

We get polyester. He might
as well just burn the money.

What happened
with that man?

What man?

The one who apparently dared
you to chug three glasses of wine

before he got back,
or there'd be trouble.

(STAMMERING) Or is that
none of my business?

Bingo.
Got it.

Hey.
Hey.

Hi, guys.
Tucker, Libby, Jill.

Hi, Jill.
Jill, Tucker, Libby.

Hi, Jill. We're going
to go grab a bite to eat.

It's wall-to-wall
food here.

Yes. But no one can tell me
if the tuna is farmed or wild.

Farmed has, on average, five times
less omega threes and is, like,

three times higher
in mercury.

And they can't say whether the grapes
were grown with or without pesticides.

We're talking residues such as
azinphos, carbofuran, metalaxyl.

But, as a doctor, I'm sure that's
what you were already thinking.

JILL: Thank you.
Oh. Yeah.

(CLEARS THROAT)
Totally.

But your date seems to be
having a good time.

Oh, no. This is not a date.
Oh, it's not a date.

BOTH: Aw.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

What do you kids
call it these days?

I just...

Listen. Why don't we
go back to my place?

You know, Dad's not home, and Libby
stocked the fridge with food so organic

you can taste the dirt.

Awesome.

Would you like the rib eye
or the tenderloin?

Yes.

Hi.
Hi.

You're the doctor,
right?

I'm actually not the
doctor, medically speaking,

but I run HankMed,
which is a...

It's a concierge
doctor service.

So, great...
Great party, huh?

I just feel like
this place is so cool.

The wine and the food
is so, so cool.

Yeah, I hate it.

I hate it, too.
Do you want to bail?

I can't duck out
on my own party.

Can I buy you dinner?

It's free,
and I have some?

Well, you haven't even
touched yours.

Are you not hungry?
I'm starving.

Somebody made this
for me.

I don't want to sound spoiled,
but I can't tell you how sick I am

of grilled fish
and fresh fruit.

Now that I'm being put out to
pasture, I'm craving all that stuff

I've had to avoid
my whole life.

I know this charming little spot
that specializes in just that cuisine.

Wow.

Yeah. I don't play around
when it comes to junk.

(LAUGHING) I don't even
know where to begin.

Well, uh...

Convention says the cheese
crunches are the amuses.

They're light.
They're cheesy.

They leave your
fingers orange.

The nachos are
the hors d'oeuvres.

They also leave
your fingers orange.

And then, you've earned the dog.

The dog.

Yes. The dog.

The dog must be earned.

I can't remember the
last time I had a...

What if I want to
start with the dog?

I love a rebel.

(IN FRENCH)

Last time I checked, the
drinking age in New York was 21.

Well, while technically the
Hamptons are in New York,

they actually occupy a
time-space continuum of their own.

Oh, is that right?
Mmm-hmm.

And this is a Chateau
d'Avignon from 1990.

The greater crime
would be to not drink it.

Well, think how much more aged
it will be when you're of age.

In five years.

So, this wine is
older than you?

Jill. Age is
just a number.

Right. Yeah, everything's just a
number. That's how you people think.

ALL: You people?

Mmm. Like Mr. Kliner.
He was our biggest donor.

He had plenty of money to throw a
retirement party for a ballerina,

but not enough to honor his
pledge to the free clinic.

And for the record, free
clinics, they're not free.

Big misnomer.
They're expensive.

Only you can't call them
that or nobody would come.

Hey, you know what? Maybe... Why
don't we walk it off a little?

You want to go for a walk?
Yes. Let's go.

Okay. Let's go for a walk.
Okay.

Okay.
Come with me, Jill.

I mean, just take the
items in this house.

That model boat.
Or that ancient map.

Or these guitars, signed by
Lennon. John, not Vladimir.

If it were Vladimir, that
would really be worth something.

Each one of these gems could
float a year of my clinic.

But I guess paying God-knows-what
for a pair of torn jeans is...

Oh. Oh, my God. Are these
really Springsteen's?

That, or they're running
low on closet space.

You're cute.

Okay, then.

And voila. Mustard, relish, and
onions, just as God intended it.

No ketchup?

Ketchup is for dilettantes
and three-year-olds.

Well, all right, then.

Okay.

I am so going to
enjoy this.

And not just for
the reason you think.

Mmm.

Yeah?

Mmm-hmm.

Guess it was
worth the wait.

Mmm.

Mmm.

What happened to me?

I'm not sure.
Did you eat today?

No. I was too nervous. I
did have a glass of wine.

Or two.

Do you remember
having any chest pains?

Shortness of breath?
Headache?

No. Nothing that...
Not that I can remember.

Okay. Tess, this is
important. Are you on any meds?

Do you take recreational
drugs of any kind?

No. No,
nothing like that.

Am I going to be okay? I
have my last show next week.

For some reason, your
blood pressure went down

to a level that didn't allow
blood to be pumped to your brain.

It may have been a reaction
to your not eating,

and then drinking alcohol while
being tired, and so you fainted.

You should just... You should
go home, eat, and get some rest.

And call me if there are any problems.

Okay. I will do that.
Thank you.

Okay. Sure.

I'll be right back,
okay?

Okay.

EVAN: Thank you
for handling that.

You have no idea how
embarrassing this is.

Or maybe you do.

Long story.
She's fine.

Wow. Two women passed out.
Mom would be so proud.

Shut up. Are you okay to drive?

Yeah. Unless they've started spiking
the Arctic Freezees, I'm fine.

Good.

Hey, Jill. We're here.

Hi.

How long have I been out?

A couple of minutes.
Give or take an hour.

(SIGHING)

Let me help you.

I'm fine. I'm fine.

Did you want...

The letters for my clinic.
They're pointless now.

Throw them away. Please.
They're garbage anyway.

Oh, and... Thank you
for driving me home.

I'm sure this is not how you
expected your night to go.

Hey. You surprise people.

Hmm.

TESS: Dr. Lawson?

Hey.

Hi.

HANK: Is everything okay?

I'm sorry to bother you. I was just
wondering if we could talk. In private?

Of course. Yeah.
Let's take a walk.

I wasn't entirely honest last night.

I've been dancing since I was three.
Professionally, since I was five.

And don't get me wrong,
I love it. I loved it.

But we take a pounding.

And sometimes, dancers, for the
pain, the anxiety of performance,

of weight, of trying to stay
the best, we take things.

Pain medication?
Diet pills?

Anti-anxiety.

Are you on all three?

Sometimes. Yeah.

Do you think that's
what caused me to faint?

It's possible. I can't know
without doing some blood work.

I'd love to have Divya, my
associate, do a full work-up.

I have to be able to dance next week.

Dancing has been
my whole life,

and it's going
to be over soon.

Hey, guys!
That's so weird.

I was just
going for a run.

And... I just run into
people. What's going on?

We were just
going for a walk.

Yeah, I was just showing Tess the dunes.

Oh, dynamite dunes.
Okay. Cool.

Yeah. I should get going.
I don't want to be late.

So, it was... It was
really nice seeing you guys.

Yeah, you, too, Tess.
Great seeing you.

Did I or did I not
call dibs?

Relax.
I wasn't making a move.

"Making a move"? You
actually just said that?

I've been
out of the game.

For how long? Since the
sinking of the Lusitania?

Wow. So, what were you doing, then?

Talking.
That's all I can say.

If you're pulling doctor-patient
confidentiality, I'm exempt.

No. Actually,
you're not.

Need I remind you, I'm the
CFO of HankMed. Okay? CFO.

Who is also making
a move on my patient.

Did she ask about me?

We weren't talking
about you.

Okay. That wasn't my question.

I like her.

And it's not just because
she's a ballerina, either.

Although I must say
that doesn't hurt.

Look. If you like her,
then ask her out.

Did she tell you
to tell me that?

Yes, by my locker
before homeroom.

We did not
talk about you.

Okay.
Stop saying that.

Excuse me. Do you know where
I can find James Harper?

Go Fish Yourself.

Excuse me?

That's the name of his boat.
Third boat down the pier.

(STAMMERING) Okay. You
could have just... Thank you.

Excuse me.
Are you James Harper?

Name's Jim.
What do you want?

Hi. My name's
Hank Lawson.

You selling something?

Nope. I'm a doctor.

Have a nice day.

Quick guess.

Unless the yellow in your eyes and
your complexion is from carrots,

and that paunch in your mid-section
is from too many Budweisers,

my hunch is you've got
the symptoms of Hep C.

You need to take care of
yourself. I can help you.

Of course you can.

Let me guess. Fill out
some forms. Sit and wait.

And wait, and wait. I've
been through the system.

Done the patient history.
Gotten the piss-poor care,

and been charged through
the nose. I'll pass.

I understand.
You don't understand

the first thing
about it, Doctor.

Look. Hey. Can I at
least give you my card?

No.

I know you're the Chief of Neurosurgery,

but starting a stereotaxic
oncological surgery program

will cost the hospital millions in
start-up that we just don't have.

(MAN SHOUTING ON PHONE)

Could you yell a little quieter, please?

Okay. Yeah. I'm coming down there
to haggle this out face to face.

Hi.
Hi.

Hi.
Hey.

Whatever I said last night,
whatever I did, blanket apology.

I don't drink a lot. In fact,
the last time I got that drunk,

I'd just gotten my degree
in Health Administration.

And yes,
I'm aware of the irony.

No. Hey. Listen.
You were a lady.

Then I must have been
really hammered. Please, sit.

I'm not the woman who makes
a fool of herself at a party.

I'm the woman who
makes fun of that woman.

So, you judge. Nice.
Yes.

But only in the most
non-judgmental way.

Right.

It was a tough night. I have been
working on that clinic for three years.

And when the economy tanked,
a lot of the donors pulled out.

Kliner was my biggest,
best, and last hope.

I'm sorry. Well, this should
help. The hangover, at least.

I have no money to give
you, but I have some aspirin.

I hope you didn't buy these. You
know, I do work in a hospital.

No, I stole them
from your hospital.

Mmm.

Okay. I have to go and haggle
with the Chief of Radiology.

So, I didn't just come bearing
aspirin. I could use your help.

Name it.
Jim Harper.

Jim Harper?
What about him?

I'd like to see
his medical file.

You read one of my letters.

I can't believe
you did that.

I glanced.

Okay, I read. I read.
Look, I think he has Hep C.

I can't give you a patient's
information without their consent.

Well, Jim didn't seem
like the giving type.

You went to see him?

I can't believe you.

Do you have any idea how
wrong that is? How unethical?

Not to mention you
completely violated my trust

by even looking
at that letter.

I'm sorry, Jill. But sometimes you've
got to work outside the system, right?

Bend the rules?
Break the law?

The system is broken. You
know that as well as I do.

It's why you're
starting your clinic.

Was.

The man needs help. Interferon
probably. I want to help him.

I can help him.

And if we are who we treat, and we
treat no one, what does that make us?

I'm sorry, Hank. Breaking the rules
is not part of my job description.

Well, maybe
it should be.

Hey.
Hi.

Everything okay?

Yeah. Everything okay with you?

Yeah, you texted me.
To come here.

You showed up
at the wrong mansion?

Hank, you've really got to work
on your concierge doctoring.

I contacted you.
I'm Marshall Bryant.

You must be Dr. Lawson.

Hank.
Nice to meet you.

Oh, look what...
Look what he bought me.

Wow. Great plane.

Tucker, would you
give us a minute?

You're younger
than I imagined.

Most concierge
doctors around here

are on their third wives
and last legs.

Well, they've...
They've set the bar high.

Dr. Lawson, I want to thank you
for taking such good care of my son.

Hank, please. Tucker's
quite a young man.

He is that.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm
the kid and he's the adult.

I know what you mean.

This is for you. If it's not
enough, you'll let me know.

No, I'm sure it's fine.
Thanks.

I'd love to offer you a
drink, but my jet is waiting.

Right.

Listen, Mr. Bryant... While I have
you... I know you're a busy man.

Oh, boy. Did Tucker's drug
test come back positive?

Did his... No. No. This is
not about Tucker's health.

Not his physical health.

What is it about, then?

Well, I hope I'm not
overstepping any boundaries, here.

Tucker seems to be missing
something in his life.

See, I had a similar
situation when I was his age.

My father...

Well, anyway... Maybe you could
spend a little more time with him.

He seems like he could use
some more Dad time.

Huh.

Are you a psychiatrist?

No.

Psychotherapist?

No.
Right.

You're a concierge doctor.

Pretty simple concept. Come when
called. Fix patient. Cash check.

With all due respect, while
that may be what you're used to,

that's not how I do it.

However you do it, Hank,

you don't do it for us
anymore.

Let that check be your severance, hmm?

Hi. Sorry to be laying in wait at your
house, but I have something for you.

Fine. I'll see
another property.

But it should have
a fabulous room,

and the person showing it
should have leprosy.

(LAUGHING)

Those are my conditions.
No.

Something better.

This was for a patient who no
longer comes to the hospital.

It...
It's interferon.

We're overstocked.

Before this batch goes bad, I thought
maybe you knew somebody who could use it.

All right.

Spielberg's pad is
down that way.

And, uh, Martha Stewart has a
modest little mansion over there.

And the Seinfelds' summer place
is about five palaces on the left.

You can't see it,
but it's over there.

You seem to be an expert on the
Hamptons. Did you come here growing up?

No. I moved out to the
Hamptons a couple of weeks ago.

Really?
Mmm-hmm.

Where are you from?

Different habitat.
Brooklyn, via Jersey.

But then Hank had a little
premature mid-life crisis,

and... You know.

I guess I did what any
good brother would do.

I sacrificed for family.

Yeah, that hut you're
living in seems harrowing.

It's disgusting.
You know.

But sometimes, you've just got
to take one for the team. I know.

Seriously, though,
it's been nice.

Life kind of dead-ended
for me in New York.

And I'm all about opportunity,
and it's all opportunity out here.

Kind of like us right now.

Would you like to
grab lunch?

Oh... It's just I'm... I'm having
fun. I don't want to ruin it.

Wait. What...

Food and I have a
contentious relationship

ever since I was a young
dancer, trying to make it.

It kind of
messed me up.

Hmm.

Then let me un-mess you.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

I'm back.

I'll get my harpoon.

As inviting as that sounds,
I won't stay long.

The doctor's mantra.

Look, you know,
for what it's worth,

I'm not a big fan
of hospitals, myself.

In fact, I just got fired
by one a few weeks ago.

Well, that's reassuring.

Not... No.
Not for medical reasons.

Look. Hospitals are
bureaucracies. Right?

Bureaucracies screw people.

They overcharge you if you're insured,
and they really do it if you're not.

Just because they can.

You've got zero leverage and no
alternative, so you get screwed.

It... It's like out here,
with the gas docks,

when they price gouge you after
a hurricane. The system sucks.

But you're sick. And you're going to
get sicker if you don't get treatment.

I'd like to help you.

That's what they all say.

Then, the bill comes.
There is no bill.

No, I'm going to
be here for you.

Week in, week out.

No red tape. No forms.
No harpoon.

Just me.

So, what's the catch?

You're the fisherman.
You tell me.

Wow. This is quite a spread.
What's on the menu?

Okay, so, the best meal I've ever had
in my entire life was in Machu Picchu.

You ever been to Machu Picchu? Um, no.

If my company doesn't
perform there, I haven't been.

Okay. Basically,
it's like heaven on earth.

Like, you have to go one day.
Like, everybody should go.

Tonight, I have recreated that
meal in painstaking detail.

So, if you would,
Senorita...

Thank you.

Okay. Just take
a deep breath. Relax.

(EXHALES)
Okay.

(EXHALING)

Close your eyes.

I'm ready.
I'm there.

Mmm.

This is really good.

(SIGHING)

It tastes really good.
That's good.

It's... Yeah. It's all about
just becoming one with the food.

Ready for bite two?

Mmm. That's delicious.
Wow.

Big points.

(LAUGHING)
I mean...

I've been on a lot of
dates around the world,

but you're the first guy
to ever feed me.

Well, you're the first girl
I've ever fed. So...

Hey. Am I...

Uh, big time.

Would you excuse me
for one second?

Yeah.

Hey.
Hey.

So, first of all,
get out.

But before you do that, just know
I totally fixed her. Problem solved.

Which problem would we be talking about?

Tess's eating problem. The whole
passing out problem? All problems solved.

Me. Ask her.
Mind over matter.

(THUDDING)

(GASPING)
EVAN: What's happening?

She's aspirating. The food
is stuck in her upper trachea.

Get the emergency
medical kit.

(GRUNTING)

(GAGGING)

Can I help, or do you
want me to do something?

(EXCLAIMS) Okay.

Get it out.
I'm trying.

Is she breathing, or...

Oh, my God. Okay.

Were you eating
before you fainted?

Chorizo bouillabaisse.
It's a Peruvian specialty.

Chorizo? The other
night, it was a hot dog.

Are you thinking anaphylactic
reaction to nitrates?

Lines up.
No, it's not.

How can you be
so sure?

Because it's happened before,
and not just from nitrates.

Why didn't you
tell me this?

There are certain foods
that I love. That I crave.

That I... I can't have.
But sometimes, I do.

Were you eating this?

Yeah. Just a bite.

Okay. You're going on
a heart monitor,

and you're going to eat a
piece of pepperoni pizza.

(BEEPING)

You really want me
to eat that?

You really want her
to eat that?

Yes, I really want her
to eat that.

EVAN: Step it up, Hank.

Okay. Tess, I want you to
take a big bite of the crust.

Whoa.
DIVYA: She's bradying down.

She's going into
cardiogenic shock.

Shock her. Hit her.

Feed her a Snickers.
Do something!

Be patient.

(MONITOR FLATLINING)

HANK: Hold on.
Wait, wait, wait.

(MONITOR RESUMES BEEPING)

You okay?

Yeah, I think so.

Stay down. Stay down.
Let your body adjust.

What is it? What's wrong with her? Is
she allergic to mediocre pizza or what?

No. It's not an allergy.

I think you have a condition
that's called deglutition syncope.

You eat certain foods,
you pass out.

It's an extremely rare
condition that causes

an atrioventricular block when
you eat specific types of foods.

Your heart is reacting to
certain carbohydrates.

Some have it with carbonated
beverages. Some with chocolate.

So, it wasn't the hot dog.
It was the bun.

Gold star, Evan.

So, there's something wrong
with my heart?

There is. You need to see a
cardiologist. I can recommend one.

They'll probably want
to put in a pacemaker.

You know, it's a good thing we found it.

If you had had an episode
while you were driving?

I mean,
it could have been fatal.

Wait. Hold up a second.
She needs a pacemaker?

Yeah.

A cardiologist can put it in
under light sedation.

Will I be able to dance
my final performance?

Yes. As long as you avoid these carbs.

And after your surgery, you can
enjoy a long and happy retirement,

eating as much junk food
as you want.

Thank you.

You're welcome.
You're welcome.

Feed me.
I beg you.

How do you feel
about fish?

I love fish.

That's good. Because some dude named Jim
just dropped off two dozen striped bass.

Said they were for you, and
scared the bejesus out of me.

Me, too. I will
explain over dinner.

This is civilized.

Yeah.

Like gentlemen. We should
do this every night.

As long as you stay out
of the kitchen, okay.

You cook, I'll clean. I'll
even pick up my clothes. Or try.

Henry.
Done, and done.

Clink.

The two of us keeping a house in
order? Mom would be so shocked.

TESS: Hi.

Oh, hey.
Come on in.

I just wanted
to say thank you.

Oh, yeah. No need.
It's... It's what I do.

Well, I... I wanted to
say thank you to Evan, too.

Hi. How's the
old ticker?

I was just heading out
to mow...

Bye.
Bye.

So, I'm leaving tomorrow
to see that cardiologist.

Tomorrow?
Wow. That's soon.

I know.
Which is why

I wanted to say thank you for
helping me have so much fun.

You've got a warped
sense of fun, lady.

No, I mean it!
I had a great time.

I mean, other than
passing out a lot.

I did a lot of things with you
I haven't done in years.

I usually get that after I've
dated a girl for a long time.

I'm serious, Evan. I really
loved our time together.

I mean, maybe it didn't mean much
to you, but it meant a lot to me.

It meant
a lot to me, too.

I bought a ticket for Machu
Picchu. I want to hike it.

I'm flying to Cuzco
after the surgery.

You're going to
Machu Picchu?

Yeah. After what you said,
how could I not?

Okay, this is awkward.
I made that up.

I've never even been to Machu
Picchu. I read it in a magazine.

I thought it would make
the meal sound better.

Like, I couldn't even find
Machu Picchu on a map.

I don't even know what country it's
in. Like, maybe it is a country.

Is it, like, a mountain
village? Or what is it?

Well, yeah. After you served
garlic bread and lobster,

I was wondering if this greatest meal
ever was at a Sizzler in Machu Picchu.

But it doesn't matter.

I'm going to have an adventure,
and I need an adventure.

Of course. Okay.

Yeah. But before I go, there's just
this one thing that I have to do.

(EXHALING)

God, I hate Machu Picchu.

HANK: Quite a maneuver,
Maverick.

Maverick?
Who's that?

Oh, I don't know. A
little movie called Top...

Top Gun. I know, Hank. I'm just joking.

I am aware of American
culture pre-iPod.

(LAUGHS)
Talk to me, Goose.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

I didn't realize you were
such a daredevil.

Well, as a hemophiliac, what
choice do I have, you know?

Even slicing an orange
can be a deadly stunt.

Didn't Dad fire you?

He did.
From being your doctor.

Not from being your friend.

You want to
take it for a spin?

No. No, thank you.
Fear of flying.

Yeah, me, too.

(CRASHING)

Nice landing,
Goose.

Maybe I should have
rented this place.

Sheila was right
about the view.

Yeah. This one's pretty nice.

One of the perks of being a local
is you know all the best views.

Right.
Were you born here?

Local Hampton-ite.
Mmm.

Endangered, but not extinct. Mmm-hmm.

The Citiots haven't
killed us off, yet.

Thank God.
Right. Citiots.

Mmm.

Wait, am I a Citiot?

I'll grant you a temporary
membership to our clan.

Temporary? What's up
with temporary? Wow.

Thanks for seeing Jim.

Yeah. And I'm sorry about the clinic.
I know how important it was to you.

When I was 12, I was surfing
and this board tore into my arm.

Nearly separated it
from my shoulder.

And the hospital bills were way
more than my parents could handle,

but Hamptons Heritage
took care of it. And me.

So...
I owe the place so much.

Hmm. That's why you
work at the hospital?

Yeah, I wanted to
help do that for others.

Be a part of
something special.

But it's not
the same place it was.

We have so much less money,
less staff, less everything.

Hmm. And that explains the clinic.

It's a setback.
That's all.

I don't quit.

You need to know that about
me. The clinic will happen.

I know it will.

And look. In the future, if
there are any Sheilas or Jims,

you just give them
my number.

I guess you can be both.

Both?

Concierge doctor to the rich, and
an on-call doctor to the rest of us.

The Robin Hood
of medicine.

(LAUGHING)

As long as
no tights are involved.

Why not? You've got nice, strong legs.

Do I, now?

(LAUGHING) Not that I've...
Not that I've noticed.

Do you remember
anything you said

while you were under the
influence the other night?

Not a word. Why?

No reason.
No reason.

But...
But for the record?

You are cute.

(DOOR OPENING)

MAN: Excuse me. What
are you doing in my yard?

Just leaving!
Yeah.

We were. By the way, great view.

Yeah. I know.
Great.

MAN: My view.
HANK: Enjoy.