Original subtitles

[intro music playing]

[soft music playing]

[futuristic sound effects]

[Miriam] Clarence, Clarence?

Clarence!

[Clarence] I heard you. This better be good.

I wouldn't be bothering someone with your busy schedule

if I didn't think it was a Code Two.

Famines and floods are Code Two!

Tornadoes and earthquakes are Code Two.

All right, maybe it's a Code Three.

I haven't memorized the manual yet.

Well, memorize it and get back to me.

But, by then, it'll be too late!

A lot of people's Christmases will be ruined forever,

and I'll never get my wings...

All right, all right!

Just stop talking and show me what you got.

And it better be good.

♪ Here we come caroling among the leaves so green... ♪

[Clarence] Miriam, where are we?

[Miriam] This is West Beverly High

and those kids walking down the hall

are the West Beverly High Madrigal Singers.

♪ Send you a happy new year ♪

♪ And God send you a happy new year ♪

♪ God bless the master of this house ♪

♪ Likewise the mistress, too ♪

[Miriam] That's David Silver with the video camera.

And that's his girlfriend, Donna Martin...

an angel on Earth if ever there was one.

♪ A happy new year ♪

[Miriam] Oh, I just love the holidays.

I remember when I was a little girl,

we used to sing...

-Miriam! - Sorry.

Moving on.

Now here's Dylan

and Kelly and Brenda

and they are the best of friends...

Hello, guys? Wrapping presents today?

Oh, sorry.

Here comes Geraldo Junior.

Bren, you got a minute for an interview?

Sure.

Okay, wait, wait, Bren...

So all the money we've raised has gone to buy these toys

for the kids at the Alvarado Street Elementary School,

which Santa's helpers have been wrapping for the past two weeks.

Don't forget to say this is a West Beverly tradition.

That's Donna Martin, our liaison for this year's program.

Take it away!

No, that's okay, I don't have...

These kids have problems?

They're too good-looking for that.

Well, according to section 16B of the manual,

"physical appearance should not be used

to determine worthiness."

Thank you for explaining that to me.

I was just making a comment!

Sorry.

"Twas the day before midterms and all through the school"

"The teachers were jammin' the students were cool."

- Who are they? - The editors of the newspaper.

" Blazestaff kicked butt to put the paper to bed"

"While visions of vacation danced in their heads."

For the record, I just want to make it clear,

they did not learn this in English.

We did.

Ah, a troublemaker, huh?

Well, Steve gets into his fair share of trouble,

but he's the only one I'm not worried about.

I walk into that detention and my watch stops.

Time stands still.

It's lethal in there.

We finished wrapping

for the kids in record time.

Now all we need is a Santa.

Hey, don't look at me.

I'm covering the event .

I'm taping the whole thing, so count me out.

Donna, you know I'd love to do it,

but I'm barred from all school activities.

That leaves only one person, Don.

Dylan...

"Ho" like a Santa.

No, come on, no.

No... No... No.

Nice group of kids, don't you think?

What I think is you're wasting my time.

These kids don't need any help.

Sure, they look fine there,

that was two days ago, look now!

♪ with boughs of holly, fa-la, la, la, la ♪

What's wrong with them?

Not them... Them.

They don't look so festive.

See? I told you.

So? It's a routine example

of seasonal apathy and depression.

Happens all the time during the holidays.

The Man Upstairs doesn't have time

for a bunch of kids and neither do I.

But wait! Clarence, come on!

This is much more serious than you think.

At least give me a chance to make a presentation.

Oh, please.

I'm missing Circus of the Stars for this.

Once you see the bigger picture,

you'll be hooked, I promise.

Just give me the highlights.

Save the rest for the reunion movie.

Okay.

Let's go back a couple of days.

Brandon and Andrea are the editors of the newspaper

I know who they are, Miriam.

What's the lead story in your Christmas edition?

An exclusive interview with Ms. Claus.

Year of the Woman in the North Pole.

Don't mind her, she's on a roll.

Oh, what can I say, I lost my crutches

and I regained my sense of humor.

This phone call is from her grandma.

She lives with her grandmother...

Shh! Let me listen.

West Beverly Blaze.

Did you open it?

No! Don't open it!

It's a letter from Yale!

Look, is it a thick envelope or a thin envelope?

Oh.

Thanks for calling, grandma.

Yeah, have a good Kaluki game.

I'll see you home, okay?

Okay, great.

Thin envelope, huh?

Well.

At least there was a letter from Jay, the mail's not that bad.

Hey, you don't know what it says yet.

Look, we all know that a thick envelope means you got in

and a thin envelope means: "We regret to inform you, but..."

Yeah, but that's what they should say in your case, right?

No way. They must've a different system for early admission.

I bet they took one look at her application

and said: "Reject!"

I'll bet you she got accepted.

How much?

You want to bet me?

For money?

No.

We should let Andrea set the stakes.

We should let Andrea jump off a bridge.

We should go to Andrea's house right now

and check before you leap to conclusions.

What do you say?

[laughing] I can't open it. I can't.

- Fine, I'll open it. - No!

Okay. No.

I'm gonna open Jay's letter first.

Open the letter!

Okay. Okay. I'm gonna do it.

Okay.

Here goes nothing.

[paper tearing]

I can't handle this.

Phew.

[clears throat, laughs]

So what does it say?

Congratulations.

It says congratulations!

[laughing]

That's fantastic. What did I tell you, huh?

You're a Yalie now.

You're the cultural elite. How does it feel?

I can't wait, I gotta tell Meyers.

He's gotta pay up on his bet.

Good. I'm going to make him shave his beard.

See what he looks like nude.

I gotta call Jay!

He didn't want me to get in Yale

he wanted me to go to Northwestern with him.

Or end up at California University with me.

Yeah, well, that was my safe school is all.

I can't believe this.

Do you realize this puts you in the top 1%

of all intelligent life on the planet?

This is outstanding.

So what's the Jay-man say?

Andrea?

Talk about having no class.

I mean, what kind of guy

breaks up with his girlfriend by letter?

A coward.

You know, I never liked Jay.

You didn't like Jay because he's a Young Republican.

That had nothing to do with it.

Well, maybe it had a little to do with it.

But you know, I always just knew that he was wrong for Andrea.

I never said anything,

'cause I didn't want to seem...

[Jim] Jealous?

- Bitter? - Petty?

Thank you, family, for my warm holiday character profile.

You won't mind if I chop down your tree.

Come on, we're just teasing you.

We know that you and Andrea have always had a...

special relationship.

Well, in case you haven't noticed,

Nikki and I have an even more special relationship.

Yeah, we've noticed.

You mean Brandon and Brenda are brother and sister?

- They're twins. - Why didn't you say so?

Because you kept telling me to shut up.

In a nice way, of course.

[laughter]

Hi.

Can't beat Christmas at the Walshes.

Come in.

Wow, what a pretty tree.

Thank you!

Let's go study.

I wanna trim the tree.

Come on, anything beats studying.

Come on in.

Yo, did you guys hear that Andrea got into Yale?

Don't you just love the Walshes?

Nice family, good values...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell me about the blonde.

Does she have something with the guy with the sideburns?

Well, not exactly.

It's more of a three-way,

triangular sort of thing.

Why didn't you tell me about them earlier?

'Cause I started with Brandon and Andrea!

Now, can I go on, please?

You're coming back to this triangle, right?

Yes, Clarence.

First we have to go back

to the teacher who lost his bet

[intense music]

West Beverly offers many exciting elective courses,

such as Shaving 103,

for the hygienically inclined.

Okay, I pay my debts, but this is ridiculous.

Okay, I changed my mind. You don't have to shave.

- [laughs] - Now you tell me.

Actually, it's a good look for you,

with your split personality.

Funny.

Is this the banter at Yale?

No. All the real funny stuff is done in Latin.

You better start boning up, Andrea.

E pluribus unum.

Quo vadis?

I'll go shave in the bathroom.

Excelsis deo. See you, Gil.

- Take care, Gil. - Thanks, Andrea.

David, what's wrong? You're so quiet.

I don't know, I sort of feel out of it.

Why?

Andrea's the first, but everyone will be getting into college and

I'll be left here by myself in high school.

[sad music playing]

Jay's got pretty good timing, huh?

[sighs] I used to think getting into Yale was my heart's desire.

Oh, well.

So, uh, you want to go to the movies tonight?

I can't.

Nikki's due in from San Francisco in a couple hours.

And you two want to be... alone.

Well, we got a little catching up to do.

[smooching sounds]

Hey, don't worry. No one's coming in.

I got 'em well-trained.

Brandon, have you s...

Oh.

I'm sorry.

Mom!

I'm really sorry.

No, it's okay.

No problem.

Thanks, mom.

I...

- [Brandon clears his throat] - [soft laugh]

Sorry about that.

[both laugh]

Um, Brandon...

You know... I really missed you.

[laughing] I missed you, too.

Thanks. [laughs].

You didn't call me back last weekend. I was worried.

Well, I wanted to talk to you in person.

It was really intense up there.

I thought you were getting along with your parents.

I did.

That's the problem.

What do you mean?

Well, with Diesel out of the picture,

it was like old times.

We were really a family again.

So...?

So...

I'm moving back home, Brandon.

Really?

- When? - Tomorrow.

They want me home for the holidays,

and I've got a lot of school stuff to straighten out there.

I had to come back and get my stuff and...

See you again.

And say thank you.

And wish you a Merry Christmas.

[sad music playing]

[record scratch]

I didn't see that coming.

You ain't seen nothin' yet.

It'll be okay. There's a lot of fish in the sea.

He'll have plenty of girlfriends.

Not if he gets on that bus.

[intense music]

Do you have any pull with the yearbook editor?

'Cause I have two nominations for the Most Conniving.

Kelly Taylor and Dylan McKay.

I'm not in the mood for this right now.

What about for the category

of Most Deceitful or Disloyal?

Let me guess.

Are you feeling the sting of rejection?

Brandon, don't make fun of me.

I know it's been a while,

but I'm sure you know how it feels.

Oh, yeah.

It's been a while.

Like about... 90 minutes.

What?

Seems Nikki just broke up with me.

[clicks tongue]

Brandon, I'm sorry.

Ah, it's better for her.

She moved back up north with her parents.

Long distance relationships never work out anyway.

So, you just broke up?

Brandon, San Francisco's not that far away.

She thought it would be best.

So.

What did Dylan and Kelly do this time?

Thought you guys were like the three musketeers these days?

So did I.

They were all getting along so well.

She is talking about that pretty blonde

and the other guy, right?

It's Kelly and Dylan.

You could at least have their names straight by now.

And you could remember who you're talking to,

or you might end up doing this presentation in a black hole.

I'm sorry. There's a lot at stake here,

and I've never done this before and it's complicated.

All right, slow down. You're doing fine.

Just back up a little.

Okay, this was a few nights ago.

They got together to talk things over.

Sure you're wondering why we both wanted to meet.

Thought you wanted to buy me pie.

- Yeah. - Humble pie.

- My favorite kind. - Seriously.

I don't know about you, but for me,

these past few weeks have been a nightmare.

I mean, we're at each other's throats,

we argue, we can't trust one another.

Not a picnic for me either.

We've got to make a change.

Dylan, we both love you.

We both find you very attractive.

And very sexy.

And appealing.

What exactly are you two suggesting here?

This kid has seen too many French movies.

Maybe you've seen too many French movies.

I think we should stop trying to hide our mutual feelings.

Admit how we all feel, and agree to be friends.

- Good friends. - Platonic friends.

I see.

You don't want to be tied down

you said so yourself,

and we all need some cooling off.

That way no one will get hurt.

And we're all in the same boat.

So what do you think?

I think I love you both

and I want to keep it that way.

Good.

That was easy.

To friendship.

Wasn't that lovely?

Should've known we'd end up with a Disney picture.

[Miriam clears her throat] To continue...

[Brenda] [laughs] No!

Their arrangement worked wonderfully at first.

They really gave it the old college... uh...

high school try.

And they all enjoyed spending time together

until that fateful night when Dylan and Kelly came over

to trim the tree.

Am I the only one who thinks

Shakespeare is boring?

Yes.

Well, the language is so dated.

How can you say that?

Let's say you're at your local mall,

somebody's hassling you, you say to them,

"A pox on your throat,

you bawling, blasphemous, incharitable dog!"

- [giggles] - Yes!

Thank you, Shakespeare.

Does anybody else want a soda?

Ooh, I do.

Yes, wench, bring it forth.

Ow.

Coming right up, my lord.

[TV] If it'd be possible for you

to give me 24 hours to think it over?

Sure. Sure, sure, sure.

Go home and talk about it to your wife.

- I'd like to do that. - In the meantime...

It's a Wonderful Life. I love this movie.

How can you not? It's a classic.

It's A Wonderful Life? Never heard of it.

Me, either.

I don't need 24 h.

I don't have to talk to anybody.

I know the answer's no!

Doggone it!

You sit around...

Cary Grant is amazing in this.

Yes.

Only it's Jimmy Stewart.

[TV] In the whole vast configuration of things

Oh.

Nothing but a little spider.

And that goes for you, too.

[kiss sound]

What's that for?

Oh, it's for nothing. It's just a friendly gesture.

Friendly?

Very friendly.

[soft music playing]

[record scratch]

Is this where their arrangement

begins to unravel?

Not exactly.

Whoa. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I started it.

[sigh]

You know, it's just...

It's a habit.

It's probably normal.

It takes some getting used to.

Right.

We're just friends.

Right.

Right.

Yeah.

So the next day, they all went to the Peach Pit.

Donna couldn't believe we were being so mature about this,

but I told her our friendship's important to us.

Absolutely.

So, tell me about David.

Uh, his mom just decided to move to Portland, Oregon.

Why Portland?

Because it's 1000 miles away from his dad, I guess.

I'm going to go check on him.

Look, Dylan, about last night...

You don't have to say anything.

Shouldn't even mention it again.

Good, because it was a one-time deal.

Absolutely. I just want to make sure that you know that.

Accidents do happen.

Right.

Right.

Hi, guys.

Hi.

Hey, Dave, I'm, uh...

I'm sorry about your mom.

It's okay. It was just sudden.

Got to her house and all my stuff was packed up in boxes.

That's rough.

Yeah, uh...

I don't know if I'm going to be up to videotaping the trip

to Alvarado Street tomorrow.

Don't worry. I'll help you.

And you are going to make a great St. Nick.

- Brenda. - Come on, Dylan.

You can be a jolly fat man for a few hours

without destroying your image.

We have to go back to school to sign off

on the final details for tomorrow,

and we'd like to put you down as Santa.

Don't do it.

I'll put you down as a maybe.

Do you want to come with us?

No, I'm going home with Kel.

I'll call you later.

- I'll call you . - Okay.

Work on him, Kel.

Oh, I plan on it.

So this is where their arrangement hit the skids.

Well, no, not exactly.

[clanking sounds]

Dylan, why are you being so stubborn?

Oh, Kelly, listen.

Do you really think that any of those little kids

are gonna believe that a slim guy like me

in a red suit is Santa Claus?

Well, some of them will.

I mean, when I was six, I went to the mall to see Santa Claus,

and I was in heaven, and he was Chinese.

I never believed in Santa Claus.

Well, that explains everything.

What can I say?

Come on, I bet you'd look really hot in a red suit.

You're being very persistent.

Well, I promised Brenda I'd do whatever it takes.

- Whatever it takes? - Mm-hmm.

[record scratch] Uh-oh.

Nothing might've come out of it if Brenda hadn't decided

to surprise Dylan by bringing the Santa costume

over to his house to try it on for size.

Surprise. Surprise.

Exactly.

I know what you're going to say.

Yeah, and it ain't "ho, ho, ho".

Merry Christmas, Dylan.

Come on in, let's talk about it.

So you can have a real ménage à trois? Sure.

Let's just talk about this, okay?

Nothing to talk about. One picture is worth 1000 words!

- Please don't go away mad. - Why would I be mad?

- It just happened. - Oh, like with me yesterday?

What?!

Hey, look, we're all human... all of us, you said that.

What happened with you yesterday?

I don't know about you guys, but it's really cold out here.

Give me that suit.

You brought it over here,

I'm trying it on.

So you can sit us on your lap

and ask us what we want in our stockings?

When yesterday did this happen?

I'd like to know.

Would you relax?

Because nothing happened.

Okay? Nothing happened.

That did not look like nothing to me.

You told me to convince him to play Santa.

Kelly, not by any means necessary.

It was just a friendly little kiss...

At first.

I know that routine.

- He did the same thing to you? - Mm-hmm.

Hold on a minute, Brenda, you started it.

Don't try to deny it.

Swell.

Look, just take that thing off. You look ridiculous!

You know, what is ridiculous is us trying to fool ourselves

into thinking we could be friends.

You can say that again.

Hey, what do you want from me?

You tell me you love me.

You tell me that I'm attractive.

You hug me. You kiss me.

What in heaven's name do you expect?

Seems to be a question for you, sir.

Don't look at me like that, Miriam.

I can see this is heating up.

- Donna, I need to talk to you! - What's up?

Dylan and Kelly cannot go to the school with us.

Why not?

We're not speaking,

that's why not!

Again? What happened now?

Nothing happened.

I worked hard on this project,

I should have some say as to who gets to go.

You know that's not how it works.

Besides, who's gonna be Santa?

If you think they are more valuable than me

cross my name off the list.

Brenda!

- [sighs] - [slam]

[can popping open]

Hey Donna, listen...

How'd that Santa suit fit?

That's it, it didn't. I looked like a tomato.

Oh, I am sure you looked fine.

I don't think I'm going on your little expedition.

Oh, please don't say that.

Hey, I'm sorry, we go to a school one day,

we play white knight to some poor kids,

what difference is that gonna make?

Well, I'm sorry you feel that way.

Donna.

Listen, Don, I'm not feeling very good, okay?

Kelly, you look fine.

Put me on a bus with Brenda and Dylan,

and watch me get sick to my stomach.

You don't have to worry, 'cause Brenda told me

she's not going because you are.

She did?

Well.

You can give her a message,

tell her she can have the bus,

cause I won't be on it.

[huffs]

Kelly!

Donna.

I'm so glad to see you. You can't believe what's going on!

Everyone is backing out on me.

I'm afraid I'll have to take a pass also.

[sighs repeatedly]

David, I know you're upset about your mom, I understand that.

Don't film it if you don't want to.

The most important thing is you being there.

But if I don't tape it, there's no reason for me to be there.

David!

I need you.

Listen, Donna, this is a senior class thing

and I'm not a senior.

I mean, let's face it,

haven't I been going

with your friends enough?

Look, I'll see you later.

And, uh, I hope everything goes okay.

Hi, Donna.

Did you get permission to come with us?

No way. They don't want a juvenile delinquent

serving as a role model.

Well, what if you went in disguise,

we could smuggle you and they'd never be the wiser.

You mean, red suit, floppy hat, white beard?

Yeah, I would if I could, but I'm sorry.

- Yeah, uh, I gotta go. - See ya.

Andrea, hi.

Uh, hi, Donna.

Have you seen Brandon?

No, not recently.

I was hoping you could help me

talk him into being Santa.

I don't carry much weight on that score.

In fact, I was going to tell you...

I can't go.

Come on, Andrea, you are the last person

I would expect to flake out on me.

Look, I'm not flaking out on you, okay?

It's for charity, for heaven sakes!

Look, I happen to do a lot of work with volunteer causes.

Oh, I see, now that you got into Yale,

you don't care what's on your record?

That's a nice thing to say.

You're right, I'm sorry.

I am just getting desperate here,

can you please, please, help me out, Andrea?

The truth is that I just think

Brandon and I need a little time apart, okay?

Brandon and you?

Donna...

You're gonna have to do this without me.

Sorry.

[intense sigh]

Is someone trying to tell me something here?

Donna.

Brandon, I cannot take any more bad news

so don't tell me you're not coming.

Okay, so who do I tell?

How can you do this to me?

I know it's last minute, I'm sorry.

Please, you're the only friend I have left.

The last couple days have been really tough for me, okay?

And I'm really not in a festive holiday sort of mood.

I'd just be a downer.

So fake it.

It will not kill you.

Donna, get ahold of yourself.

Brandon, the bus is leaving in half an hour.

How come everyone think they can drop out last minute?

I can't speak for anyone else.

But Meyers is the faculty sponsor.

He let me off the hook.

Well, he's not in charge of this event.

Oh, yeah? So who is?

If you had given us sufficient notice,

perhaps your spaces on the bus could have been filled

from the long waiting list of students

who would've been happy to join us

at the Alvarado Street School today.

But at this point,

unless you have a note from your doctor

saying that you have pneumonia,

and I want to see that chest X-ray,

I expect to see each and every one

of your smiling faces on that bus.

And I mean immediately, if not sooner. Move.

♪ Dashing through the snow on a one-horse open sleigh ♪

♪ O'er the fields we go, laughing all the way ♪

♪ Bells on bobtail ring, making spirits bright... ♪

So now that I've brought you up to date...

- Not! - Excuse me?

This Brandon and Andrea situation, I don't understand.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You were so interested in that

Kelly-Dylan-Brenda affair,

I left out a whole section.

Last night, after Nikki dropped her bombshell,

Brandon went over to the Peach Pit.

[food sizzling]

What is it with me, Nat?

Every time I get involved with a woman it falls apart.

I must have bad relationship karma or something.

Aw, come on, Brandon,

girls throw themselves at you.

Another one'll come along soon.

Ha-ha.

Hi, Nat.

Andrea, how are you?

Andrea!

I'll bag your order.

Thanks.

Where's Nikki?

Uh, we had a little change of plans.

I'm on my own tonight.

[taps grill, clears throat]

Hey, you still want to catch a flick tonight?

I'd love to. I have to babysit.

That's too bad.

You can keep me company.

Nice house, big-screen TV...

Sure, what the hell.

Hey, watch your mouth, kid.

Heck. I mean, what the heck.

Maxine's asleep right on schedule.

Oh.

They're cheering us! We must be good!

I love this movie.

Yeah, me too. I just saw it last night.

We can watch something else.

No, that's fine.

I can watch this 100 times,

it'd still get to me.

[music on the TV]

This is a Christmas present from a dear friend of mine.

[bell ringing] Look, daddy.

Teacher says every time a bell rings,

an angel gets his wings.

That's right. That's right.

Attaboy, Clarence.

♪ For Auld Lang Syne, my dear... ♪

I needed a good cry.

Yeah, me too.

[sniffling]

You know, that's what I love about you.

You're a sentimentalist at heart.

And what else do you love about me?

You know?

I don't know what would've happened

if you hadn't moved here.

You'd be editor of the paper,

and, uh, you'd be going to Yale.

Yes, but would I have been happy?

Or would I have just been some social outcast

with calluses on the brain?

That's entirely possible.

[laughing]

You know when I was dating Jay,

I couldn't help but remember that day

last summer when I just started seeing him

and you were trying to convince me

to stay at the Beach Club.

Yeah.

You're expressing your feelings.

Yes, and I can still recall the sting of your response.

Well, you know what they say...

timing is everything.

[soft music playing]

I can't believe you!

What? What'd I do?

You were thinking of Nikki!

You don't think I knew that?

And you about Jay.

So what, now we're even?

That doesn't make us even,

because I never even liked Jay.

In fact, I am not only insulted,

I'm disgusted!

Why'd you stop it?

From there on it gets ugly.

So, now that you've gotten all the background...

Yeah, I see the dilemma.

They got sidetracked with their personal problems.

No, excuse me, but you don't know the real danger.

Their bus is on a collision course with a truck.

I fixed that. I got that truck rerouted.

But I didn't even tell you about it yet!

I took the liberty of skipping ahead a few pages.

But how did you fix it?

It wasn't easy.

It's a complicated move

you can only use once per catastrophe.

Craig Clemons is on the 405 to Long Beach as we speak.

Craig Clemons?

Who cares about Craig Clemons?

Greg Clemons is the guy driving that other truck!

- Which other truck? - That other truck!

Oh, so this guy, Greg Clemons, is still...

On the road to eternity.

And so are those kids.

[tense music]

[soft music playing]

- Gil. - Steve.

Welcome to the Alvarado Street Elementary School.

What's the matter?

Bus ain't good enough for you?

Ha, ha, ha.

Mrs. Teasley's around?

Oh, yeah...

Aren't you violating some code

by being here?

Yeah. But I was hoping the spirit of charity

would move Mrs. Teasley and she'd let me stay.

She can't give me any more detention

than she already has.

Are you from the high school?

- Are you? - Yeah, are you?

Yeah, I'm from the high school.

They'll be here in a while with presents.

Shouldn't they be here by now?

I raced over from a teachers' meeting.

I guess. I don't know.

Must've left late.

What's up, man?

Can't you make the truck stop

or turn left or something?

I'm good, but I'm not a miracle worker.

Then don't you think it's time to call upstairs?

Absolutely not.

Why? You don't want them

to know you botched this up?

Don't blame me. It's their fault

the bus left late.

But look at that guy.

We have to do something.

I'm sorry,

I know you want your wings,

but we have to let destiny run its course.

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ Fill the mead-cup, drain the barrel ♪

Are those people ever gonna quit singing?

I happen to like the singing.

You would.

Why are you always picking on her?

You stay out of it.

There is such a thing as over-rehearsing.

Oh, yes, and you are the music critic, right?

He's allowed to have an opinion.

And if he doesn't have one he can get one from you.

Hey, relax, will you?

Who died and left you boss?

♪ While I sing of beauty's treasure ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. ♪

So you guys mellowed out back here?

This is not gonna work out.

Donna, we tried to warn you.

Yeah. This group is not cut out

to be the ambassadors of good will.

So the only thing you can agree on

is that you don't want to be here?

That's just great.

So what do we do when we get there?

Sit on the bus and sulk?

No one wanted to be here, remember?

How could I forget?

We will pass out the presents.

But we don't have to enjoy it.

Yeah, and I'm not gonna wear a red suit.

You know what, guys?

That is not good enough.

If there's one day out of this whole year

to stop thinking about ourselves, then this is it.

And regardless of

who gets to wear the red suit,

this is a time to be jolly and loving and generous,

not cynical and moody and petty.

And if you guys can't stop and appreciate

all of the positive things in your life,

and how lucky that you are to be here,

you might as well get off the bus right now.

Way to go, Donna.

Not a bad idea there, kids.

You could get off the bus anytime now.

[sound of traffic]

[soft music playing]

So, how did Donna get so profound all of a sudden?

Anybody?

I think Christmas brings out the best in her.

And the worst in us.

Not necessarily.

You never, uh...

really liked Jay, huh?

Nah, I guess I was jealous.

And I guess I was jealous of

Nikki, Brooke and Emily, right?

[laughs] Yeah, I got the picture.

We could put aside our differences for one afternoon.

Or maybe even through the weekend.

Or we could be really big about it and go for New Year's.

Uh, Donna, I brought my camera,

so if the Madrigals want to sing another chorus,

I can tape them.

♪ Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la ♪

She was too persuasive for her own good.

I can't bear to watch.

Here we go. Simon say put your hands on your elbow.

Simon says put your hands down.

Simon says hop on one foot. On the other foot.

Ah, you all made it.

- How we doing over here? - I don't know.

Simon says stop jumping.

Wait, I think I see them.

Well, it's about time.

Yeah, that's them.

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ 'Tis the season to be jolly ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ Fill the mead-cup, drain the barrel ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

♪ Troll the ancient Christmas carol ♪

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la... ♪

[tense music]

Oh, dear.

Better not look, Miriam.

Just close your eyes

and it'll be over in a minute!

[engine roaring]

♪ Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la ♪

Hey, this truck's going the wrong way

on a one-way street!

Hey! You're going the wrong way!

Stop!

[engine roaring] [tense music]

Ten, nine, eight,

seven, six, five, four,

three, two, one!

[sizzling, crackling]

How did you do that?

I didn't.

You mean, it was...

A higher power.

Wow.

♪ Here we come a-wandering ♪

♪ So fair to be seen ♪

[children yelling]

♪ And to you at Christmas, too ♪

♪ And God bless you and send ♪

♪ A happy new year ♪

♪ And God send you a happy new year ♪

♪ Bless the master of this house, likewise ♪

- We're glad you made it. - Yeah, we almost bailed, man.

Somebody up there must really like you.

No, the one we ought to thank is right over there.

Whoa! Whoa!

Hey, slow down, man.

You're gonna hit your head.

You'll get a big hematoma.

I had one when I was your age.

- Hi, Mrs. Teasley. - Steven.

♪ Good King Wenceslas looked out ♪

♪ On the feast of Stephen ♪

♪ When the snow lay round about ♪

♪ Deep and crisp and even ♪

♪ Brightly shone the moon that night ♪

♪ Though the frost was cruel ♪

♪ A poor man came in sight gathering winter fuel ♪

♪ Hither, page, and stand by me ♪

♪ If thou know'st it, telling ♪

♪ Yonder peasant, who is he? ♪

♪ Where and what his dwelling? ♪

♪ Sire, he lives a good league hence ♪

♪ Underneath the mountain ♪

This is Dylan's department.

Here, now. It's very easy.

It's all in the wrist, okay?

Oh, my Lord.

Good job!

[laughs] She's like a pro.

♪ Thou and I will see him dine ♪

♪ When we bear them hither ♪

♪ Page and monarch, forth they went... ♪

You know, Donna...

if I load up on required courses,

like I'd planned last summer,

I could finish early and graduate with your class.

That's great.

But when will we ever get to see each other?

Uh... when we graduate?

♪ Mark my footsteps, my good page ♪

♪ Tread thou in them boldly ♪

♪ Thou shalt find the winter's rage ♪

♪ Freeze thy blood less coldly ♪

♪ In his master's steps he trod ♪

♪ Where the snow lay dinted ♪

♪ Heat was in the very sod ♪

♪ Which the saint had printed ♪

♪ Therefore, Christian men, be sure ♪

♪ Wealth or rank possessing ♪

♪ Ye who now will bless the poor ♪

♪ Shall yourselves find blessing ♪

You guys never decorated my cookies that good.

Dylan, we have been talking.

Always a dangerous trend.

You see, this Three Musketeers thing was a bad idea.

So we've decided on a new plan.

- Wait. You've decided? - Yep.

You can't have your cookie and eat it too.

- Well... - So you've got to decide

which of us you want to be with on New Year's Eve.

Or else.

Now, if you'll excuse us,

we have to go talk to Santa.

Good-bye.

[soft music playing]

[bells jingling]

♪ Joy to the world... ♪

Did you hear that?

They say every time a bell rings,

it means an angel is getting her wings.

Oh, how cute.

[laughing] It's true.

[bell ringing loudly]

♪ And heaven and heaven ♪

Oh, Clarence, are these wings for me?

You did good, Miriam.

Thank you, Clarence.

Don't thank me, thank You-Know-Who.

[bells tolling]

[outro music playing]