Original subtitles

- Why is the sky blue? - Hmm.

I'm not sure, son.

Dad,

what is water made of?

Hmm. Another good question.

That's two in a row. Good for you, Son.

Why does it rain?

I don't know. Photosynthesis? What are you? A cop? Jeez.

What is the square root of pi?

- I don't know. Apple? - Why's there no more dinosaurs?

Because they asked too many stupid questions.

What's love, got to do, got to do with it?

I don't know. I don't know.

How come you don't know anything?

Is it because you never got your high school diploma?!

(cackling)

(gasping, yelping)

(sighing)

(chuckling) Rose,

I had the worst dream.

Rose: Tell me about it...

for 40% of your final mark!

(screaming)

♪ Yes, I can love you, baby ♪

♪ All night long ♪

That means shorter days, colder nights, and sadly,

the end of crop top season.

I'm going to miss letting that old belly breathe,

but enough about that.

Here's Mama Zheesh

and the Any Old Ways with their hit song,

"Any Old Way Will Do."

(soft rock playing)

I'm late, I know. I slept in.

Oh, no worries.

When I'm going through a breakup, I always look terrible.

It's just a break. There's no 'up'.

Okay, well, anyways,

Walking Eagle News has nominated you

for Chief of the Year!

I'm up for a Chiefy?!

Oh, that's so cool!

Oh, you have to do an in-depth interview with the editor.

What's so bad about that?

He's already here.

He's here right now?

What do you want? I'm remembering for two now.

I can't be interviewed looking like...

Old gum that rolled on the ground?

Rose, I don't look that bad.

A teenage boy's laundry basket?

Just keep him busy, so I can get changed.

Oh, I know...

My mooshum's handkerchief.

Jo: Oh, fuck off.

(sighing)

Are you here to rub it in?

Go ahead. Let me have it.

My bosses aren't happy.

They found out about the... incident by the river.

Apparently,

uh, you're not supposed to encourage students

to get into a working cannon.

That's "highly dangerous".

You've been fired!

As much as this burns me in the ass...

I need you back.

Too bad, Sweetley!

I'm gonna be frank.

You're a dickhead and I'm an asshole,

but we gotta meet somewhere in the middle.

Like in the gooch?

You get another chance at graduating

and I get to keep my job.

So, in this scenario, I get a win...

but so do you?

I'll come back!

- Really? - But first,

I need a sorry dance.

Okay, fine.

How's this?

No, no, no, no. That's more of a...

I feel bad dance.

I need an apology, Sweetley!

Yes. Yes, there it is.

Yes. Good, yes. Good.

Yes, there it is!

Yes, the apology! Yes, I feel it!

Yes! All right, I forgive you!

Thank you, Paul.

Mm-hmm.

But now, you've got to do

the "I Forgive You" song.

(sighing) Fine.

♪ Forgiveness ♪

♪ I forgive, Sweetley ♪

Come on, Paul.

That's more of a, "Don't Worry About it" song.

I'm looking for forgiveness.

(clearing throat dramatically)

♪ I forgive you ♪

♪ Sweetley ♪

♪ More than I forgive anybody ♪

♪ That I've ever forgiven ♪

♪ In the whole wide world ♪

- Yes! - ♪ You're forgiven! ♪

- There it is! - ♪ Who's forgiven? ♪

- Good! - ♪ You're forgiven! ♪

Good.

♪ I forgive you! ♪

♪ Ahh! ♪

And that's not all

that Chief Jo has done around here.

Oh, yeah.

Did you know that she gave me time off

just to get pregnant?

Like a-- a conception leave?

Exactly. How progressive, right?

Your boss gives you time off to poonch?

(clearing throat)

Chief Jo?

Uh, you look... elegant.

This old thing?

So, I'm doing profiles

on all the nominees who are up for Chief of the Year,

and you're one of them.

Me?

Oh, I thought you knew that.

This is the first I'm hearing of it.

Yeah, yeah,

but Rose said that you went home to go get changed.

No, I didn't.

I'm going to give you all one final assignment.

You will follow a professional and learn their job.

The professional will then report on your day.

And then, you get your final mark.

Bring... it... on.

Teens, you're with Roger on the radio.

Oh, yeah, that's flame.

So fire.

Chickadee, you report to Yeah Man.

Yeah, man.

And Paul, you're going

with Band Constable Lips.

(sighing) That's bullshit!

I ain't no narc!

Well fine, don't do it, then.

The only thing better than seeing you fail once

is seeing you fail twice.

Cool, man. You're good with numbers.

- (whistle blowing) - What the fuck?

New recruit Paul.

Uh, yes, sir?

I start every day with a 10k run,

so let's go, on the double.

Sir, yes, sir!

So, I'm just going to ask you a few questions.

Uh, how many questions did you ask the other chiefs?

Oh, no, it's the same for everyone.

Oh, yeah? Who's winning?

Winning? No, it's not like that.

I'm just gathering answers for right now.

Can we have a tie?

Can there be, like, Chiefs of the Year?

We just try to keep it to one.

So, you've been on the job for about a year now.

Yeah, one year by the standard Western calendar.

But in chiefs' years, that's like 15.

You know, like how dogs age.

So, the job has aged you.

You know how it is. How long you been doing this?

About 25 years.

Yeah. In chief years, that's like...

200.

Why don't we just skip the interview for now

and start with the tour?

Oh!

Nailed it in the first two questions.

You ever see anything like that in your 200 years?

Can I have extra Chiefy points?

Roger: I'd like to think of the radio

as the beating heart of the community.

Keeps everyone in the know,

and if it stops beating we all die.

- On God? - For real?

On God, for real.

(phone ringing)

This could be anything -

a tip-off that starts a political scandal,

a hurricane bearing down on us, a ship colliding with a plane.

(phone ringing)

Caller, you're on.

Rita, this line is for important calls.

Rita...

See? A beating heart.

Good job on that 10K run,

even though you got a ride on the last half.

Can't you just say I did a good job and let me go home?

Paul, we're just getting started.

I wanted to give you this.

You'll be needing one of these bad boys.

Your very own Little Lips Jr. flashlight.

But remember, use it only in an emergency.

Hey, hey, hey. Careful where you point that thing.

So...

where are the donuts?

There's no time for donuts.

Today, we're taking on a massive bootlegging operation.

Really?

What are they bootlegging?

Boots, rubber ones.

Hmm. Rubber boot bootleggers.

And our main target:

your favourite cousin, Dean.

Follow along.

Your cousin Dean has been bootlegging boots.

These boots don't follow

the North American Rubber Boots Safety Act.

They're too big, they don't have any PVC rubber,

and get this, they're only 73% waterproof.

(Paul chuckling)

Pretty sweet mooshum boots.

You're going undercover.

No way, man. Bros before po-pos.

If you want to pass, the job comes first.

(grumbling)

Son in memory: How come you don't know anything?

Fine! Fuck!

I'll do it.

A big shipment comes in today, so this is our only shot.

You'll go in,

make the deal.

I'll be monitoring from outside in the van.

When I see the cash, I swoop in.

Hey, man, I don't wear wires.

No need. I can read lips.

- That's why they call me Lips. - What?

They call you Lips because, when you were a little kid,

you showed up to school

with a giant macaroni on the top of your upper lip.

I contain multitudes.

♪

Fucking sick. A full-on boot bootlegging op.

Yeah, man.

So, listen, I'm gonna need some help--

I'm in, bro. I'm in.

All right, wicked.

I got a big buyer coming in later today.

You think you can handle all this product?

Yeah, yeah. Can I try a pair?

Whoa! Not so fast, young blood.

First rule of bootlegging,

you can't look fly on your own supply.

See? This is it, our nursing station.

- Now, let's go! - Wait. Is that your nurse?

- Uh... - Jo...

you came back for me?

We're just popping in.

Looks like we've popped. Gonna pop back out.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I've learned not to love too hard,

just like you said.

Get it together, Logan.

This is Tim Fontaine with Walking Eagle News.

Why don't you tell him about our health initiatives?

(stammering)

I've been trying out bad food lately.

You know, so I'm not too Logan-y.

Full disclosure,

we were together before, we're not anymore.

Please don't put that in your story.

Is that because you're ashamed of me? Of us?

We got together because we teamed up

to get rid of an unhealthy nurse

who was giving children...

(stammering) ...cigarettes and testosterone.

Pretty sure that's the big story here.

Jo, I miss you.

This is Grouse Lake's first Indigenous nurse.

What a success story!

I feel like you two should take some time to work this out.

How about I come over later and we can watch a movie?

Holy shit, man! We're on a break!

What are you writing? (gasping)

She won't just break your pencil.

(whispering) "She won't just break your pencil."

There I was, in the studio,

me and the boss.

Chief Jo?

No, man. Bruce Springsteen.

Bruce Springsteen was here?

I had his record on, so, technically, yes.

Yo, let's get out of here.

- Wait! - (phone ringing)

- A caller! Hang on. - (phone ringing)

Yeah... we're gonna leave.

♪ Do-do-do-do-do! ♪ Breaking news!

Rabbid wolf threatens-- no! attacks community waste-keeper

who was minding his own business.

(wolf howling sound effect)

And this is Wolf Watch.

(wolf howling sound effect continues)

Picture this. Sunny afternoon.

Leaves rustling in the wind.

An innocent man, simply doing his job, as he does every day,

when there in the distance, a pair of gleaming eyes--

No. Eye.

Our elusive one-eyed cyclops wolf,

prowling through the trash.

But what is he searching for?

Danger? Love?

Or perhaps, the most obvious answer:

human flesh.

(phone ringing)

The board is lighting up.

That...

- ...was bussin'. - (phone ringing)

Now, that's how you radio.

(phone ringing)

(bell ringing)

Is that your guy?

All right, keep an eye on things.

Just in case.

- Who's you? - Ah...

I called... earlier.

Remember?

I work at a high-end kiosk

in West Edmonton Mall.

You're early.

Well, well, let's not beat around the bush.

Do you have the product or what?

Yeah, man. This way.

That's it.

Reel him in.

Bro, it's me.

Me?

You said your name was Alonzo on the phone.

It's Paul.

Shh! Cover your mouths!

Lips, he's got cameras all over the place.

Lips is trying to use me to catch you bootlegging.

Uncle's a narc.

Man, you've always said bros before po-pos.

Lips is gonna make his move

as soon as me and you make the exchange.

So, just tell me you don't have the boots and then I'll leave.

Whoa!

Are these them? (chuckling)

They're even cooler up close.

Yeah, man, the real deal mooshum boots.

Twenty bucks.

For real? Huh!

Sold!

There it is! There's the money! Move, move, move!

Paul: Here's your twenty!

And there's your boots.

Freeze! It's the law!

- (phone ringing) - Another caller.

(man on phone:)

I wouldn't do that.

Stay glued to the radio at all times.

Not so boring now.

Why don't you give it a shot?

Really? Us?

Yeah!

It's job shadow day.

Give 'em a scare.

Tell 'em the wolves are multiplying.

(Roger chuckling)

Hey!

Real funny. Open up.

This just in.

The wolves have busted into the studio

and have taken Roger.

They have not! I'm right here.

They've eaten his pants off and his jeet is showing.

RIP to Roger!

Open the door or I'll break in!

(phone ringing)

(muffled phone ringing)

And this is our radio station.

(muffled phone ringing)

Lips: Good work, Paul.

That was some top-quality snitching right there.

Yeah, that was ruthless, bro.

So, do I pass, then?

You bet.

The community will rest easy knowing they don't have access

to affordable boots.

Okay, Lips. What am I looking at here?

You're not gonna like it.

What? Community service? Jail?

You gonna take the law into your own hands?

Yeah, Lips lay it on us.

Hey, man. They're good people. Be kind to them.

Sorry, Paul. I don't make the laws.

I just follow them without question.

Okay, bro, just spit it out.

You're looking at a real steep fine of...

$45.

I know it's tough in this economy,

so you can pay it all at once, or in four instalments of--

Here's $50.

Keep the change.

Nice work, Paul.

All it took was ratting out your niece and best friend.

Let's just run through what we saw today.

So, you instituted an innovative family planning sabbatical.

Yeah, conception leave.

It does sound kind of weird, hey?

And you fostered Indigenous-led healthcare.

Although, your healthcare probably needs some healthcare.

At least he doesn't smoke at work.

And your youth engagement program

in conjunction with your radio DJ was certainly...

high-spirited.

Ahh, I'll talk to them later.

You know, I once banished a serial rummager.

She also dated him.

Rose!

Sorry. I was trying to help.

I've heard enough.

Oh, yeah. No, I get it. I'm out of the running.

Out of the running? No, Jo, you're in the lead.

You clearly have a very challenging community here,

yet you somehow manage to keep it all together

and still wear designer clothes.

Fuckin' A! Give me that Chiefy.

I said settle down!

Welcome to your end-of-year party.

Please enjoy your one juice box and...

packet of raisins.

When you're done,

make sure that the garbage goes in the waste cannon.

Well, you all graduated,

but...

one of you defied all the odds

to be here today.

Fok yeah.

You know, it took us both 25 years to get to this moment,

but I never had any doubts.

Sure, I could make things hard on you,

but I never gave up.

And maybe now...

(sobbing)

...we can finally be friends!

(sobbing)

He's already fok'n gone, bro.

(class chuckling)

(Sweetley speaking:)

- Thanks, Grousey. - Doll: Dada?

Thanks, strange baby. Thanks, little White boy.

I couldn't have grown up without y'all.

No problem, you son of a bitch.

Speaking of sons, who's this ugly little shithead?

Hey, Dad.

Who are you talking to?

Oh, just some old friends.

Hey, Dad, you've got your high school diploma.

Why are plants green?

That's just the chlorophyll

running through the stems and through the leaves.

How come things fall?

Well, that's simple, Son. It's because of gravity.

What's a cuckhold?

(chuckling)

Oh, Son, I think that's enough questions for one day.

(chuckling)

♪ Baby, you make me better ♪

♪ It's hard to know where we're going ♪

♪ Baby, you make me better ♪

♪ It's hard to know where we're going ♪

♪ Baby, you make me better ♪

♪ Baby, you make me better ♪