Original subtitles

(Roger Laughingstick narrating)

Mn'ehh.

Mn'ehh.

♪ Yes I can love you baby ♪

♪ All night long ♪

(People chattering)

Man: Alright. So, that's why we're trying

to be more inclusive.

So, Chuck shes. Chuck theys. Mm?

Makes sense, right?

Oh! Hey, Chief Jo!

You got something on your shirt.

Nice try, Ernie.

That's my medallion!

Maybe your eyes are going bad in your old age, mn'ehh.

(laughing)

Oh! Yeah. It's, uh--

I see it's a duck taking a shit by the campfire.

Real majestic. (chuckling)

Oh, oh, I have to take an important phone call.

Hello? (laughing) Prime minister.

Oh, yeah. Sorry, guys.

I just have to take this very, very important call.

Yeah. No. The memorandum of understanding.

Bye.

Jo.

(sniffing)

Fok! They put us right by the shitter!

Ugh. Nobody wants bathroom bannock.

It's the perfect spot for a bunch of shitty losers!

- (Paul growling) - Both: Butterns.

Paul, you know, I just can't tell

if your table's too small or if you're too big!

You know for a fact that that table is way too small!

Yeah. Paul hasn't lost any weight,

so he's just as big as ever.

(laughing) Good burn, b'eb.

Rose: Just wait till everyone gets a whiff of this.

People will be drifting in on clouds of bannock stink.

Already ahead of you.

(fan whirring)

Hi! Oh!

(laughing) How many would you like?

Two? Okay.

There! (sighing)

Give me your biggest beaded medallion.

Mm. How about this one?

- Bigger. - Bigger? Huh.

Okay, but you asked for it.

♪

Tsk. Look at this Buttern over here.

Hey, Buttern.

Pump up the jam.

♪ I can't believe ♪

♪ My fucking eyes ♪

♪ I want to shack up ♪

♪ With you ♪

What was that?

♪ Fuck ♪

Uh... I said,

hey, Buttern,

you got any bread for that Buttern or...

Good one... I guess.

Uh... hey, Buttern,

did your butt get burned and then you put it in an urn?

Ouch. I'm burning up over here.

Uh...

♪

Okay, sir. One bannock for you.

It tastes real deadly with some of our raisin jam.

I'm good, man.

Raisins don't spread.

Yeah, they do! Watch!

(grunting)

(grunting)

- (grunting) - (snapping)

Customer: It's okay,

Bought some Buttern jam earlier.

(gasping) Get that away from our bannock.

That devil-paste will turn you into a liar!

Give our bannock back.

You ruined it with your dirty jam hands.

Bad customer! Bad!

Now, go find a place to lay down somewhere!

Real mature, Bitterns.

(Paul chuckling)

Female voice: Rose...

Amawishin.

Can you believe this?

(chuckling) Yeah. Crazy.

(laughing)

Uh-- (clearing throat) I gotta go... use the bathroom.

Hey, Jo.

Ho'leh!

(laughing)

Hey, everyone!

Hey, come here. Look at this.

After we made fun of Jo's tiny medallion over there,

she went out and bought a bigger one! (laughing)

Oh! Oh! This old thing?

I-- I forgot I had another one. (laughing)

It looks like it hurts your neck.

(Ernie laughing)

No. Nope. Nope. I just slept wrong.

Why don't we move this along?

And let's go take our seats!

This thing looks like it's the size of a satellite dish.

Okay. At this time,

we should get started.

Hey, good idea,

unless Jo's mighty huge medallion

has any objections!

Mn'ehh.

(Ernie laughing)

Serena: Do you always dress like a checkerboard?

Yeah. Good one, Butt-burn.

Speaking of butts,

does this costume makes mine look big?

Yeah. I don't think it needs any help.

You know, we don't have to do

this whole Bittern-Buttern thing, hey?

Bonnie: Hey! You get away from that Bittern kid!

She'll give you nits.

I was just telling her to get her ass back to Grouse Lake.

Yeah, Then I said, "Sure.

Anything to get away from moo-breath over here."

(scoffing) You tell that Grouse Laker

that they all have scabby lips!

Oh, yeah. I said that twice already.

Good. Okay. Carry on.

Hey, want to take off?

Yeah. Fuck this place.

There you are!

What took you so long?

Uh, pregnant lady poops.

I hears thats.

Wait a minute.

You're lying.

- What? - But you never lie to me!

Uh, yeah, I do.

Wait a minute.

(sniffing)

You ate the jam!

Fine.

How could you lie to me, Rose?

When I ate it,

I entered the spirit world.

You see what the jam does?

It makes you all crazy!

You're going right where you belong, the trash!

Female voice: Paul...

Amawishin.

(grunting)

Fok'n sweet!

Did you taste the jar of jam?

Uh, no!

You did. You tasted it.

- No! I swear! I-- - Shut up.

You ate the lie-jam.

Did it tell you to burn things?

What? No!

Mine didn't do that either.

So, what do you think it wants?

I'm no jam-ologist,

but I think it wants us to eat more!

- Let's pump up the jam. - Mmm.

(chattering)

Welcome to the Eastside Chiefs Organization Conference.

To start, we'll discuss economic development,

and at this time, I'd like to introduce our leaders.

With me is Chief Jo from Grouse Lake...

(people applauding)

...Chief Ernie from Greater Grouse Lake...

(people applauding, cheering)

...Chief Maureen from Big Grand Rapids,

Chief Morris from Tiny Grand Rapids,

and myself, Chief Sonya from Totally Normal Rapids.

Let's start with opening remarks from Chief Ernie.

- (Ernie chuckling) - (people applauding)

Thank you. Miigwetch.

(chuckling) Boozhoo. Aniin.

Oh. Tansii.

It is with great honour

that I am here with my fellow leaders,

my brothers, my sisters,

and Jo.

The fok?

We have travelled great distances to be here,

but my journey was perhaps the most difficult of all.

I was offered a free upgrade at the airport,

but I thought of my people,

and I said no!

I chose the middle seat,

because... (choking up) ...humility...

is the mark of a great leader.

(people murmuring)

(thumping)

(audience thumping tables)

Chief Jo?

Jo: Niin Jo.

My journey was also not easy.

When I first got here, my room wasn't even ready.

I was forced to sit in the lobby and wait

while they made up my room!

(thumping)

For my troubles, I was offered

a-- a suite with a fancier coffeemaker.

You know, the ones with the little pods.

But I turned it down

in favour of a simpler coffeemaker.

(thumping)

But I knew...

(choking up) ...that some of my people never had coffee,

and I knew that some of them

would appreciate

my strong humility.

(clearing throat) Coffee-making-wise.

(Ernie slurping)

Sonya: Miiigwetch, Okemow Jo.

Ugh. These conferences are the worst.

Yeah. They-- They totally suck in every way possible.

I mean, they can be fun.

You get to meet cool people from different reserves.

Yeah. No. You're right.

They're the greatest. I love them.

You know what else I hate?

Yeah. I-- I probably hate it, too.

Being a jam mascot.

Same, man.

I hate it.

No way. You're a jam mascot, too?

Yeah, big time. Raspberry.

So you're a jam mascot and the daughter of a chief.

Yeah, right?

It's crazy how much we have in common.

Now, you're going to tell me that you have

an ASMR channel, too.

Yeah. I'm-- I'm down with AMSRT.

Oh, that's cute.

You have no idea what it is.

Is that that whispering thing?

It's more than that.

It helps people relax and get to sleep.

It's like a tingly brain massage.

The fuck is that?

It's a microphone.

Close your eyes.

(whispering) Hello.

Hello. Hello.

Psst. Psst.

(aloud) I said close your eyes.

Right. Right. Sorry.

(whispering) Chickadee.

Chickadee.

Bonnie, Bonnie.

You know what? I think we all got off on the wrong foot.

Rose: Yeah. You're not a mascootch.

In fact, I'm the one that's a mascootch! (laughing)

What do you Bitterns want?

Maybe we should come together like Hobbs and Shaw,

like Kong and Godzilla,

your jam and our bannock.

You're crazy!

I'm not actually a Bittern.

So, uh, just putting that out there.

- You could give me some. - Rose!

Neither of you are going to get shit.

Um. (clearing throat)

This is everything that we made today.

Just give us one little, simple jar.

- Just a taste! - Rose: Yeah.

Nothing needs to get burned.

Your Bittern money ain't no good here.

You know what? At first,

I felt bad for calling the health inspector on you,

but you know what? I'm glad I did!

You what?

- There he is right now. - Bonnie: Oh!

Is this the Buttern jam booth?

Paul: Yes, it is,

and look how filthy everything is!

It actually looks fine to me,

but whose booth is that, so close to the bathroom?

Ernie: And so, in conclusion,

investing in wind turbines will provide jobs

and allow us as a people to harness the power...

(inhaling)

...of the wind.

(exhaling)

Aho.

Mn'ehh.

Chief Jo, is there something you want to say

about Chief Ernie's wind turbine idea?

One sec.

You, uh, sure we need any more wind turbines?

Seems we got enough wind

coming out of Chief Ernie's mouth over there.

Audience members: Oh.

Mn'ehh. (chuckling)

Just teasing!

It's traditional!

Lateral violence,

while sadly too common in our communities,

is not traditional!

You call that lateral violence?

Lateral violence would be me saying,

"You had way too many Danishes at that table."

Ho'leh. We're here for the economic development,

not the Danish baking industry.

(audience member gasping)

This is why nobody likes you guys!

Okay! At this time, I'm going to ask everyone to cool down.

- He started it! - No, I never!

Scot'apin! Let's take five minutes.

(grunting)

(chattering)

(Serena hissing)

(whispering) Puh, puh, puh.

Ever. Sick. Ever. Sick.

Weenuk.

Weenuk.

Mn'ehh. Mn'ehh.

(aloud) So? Feel any tingles?

I think I fell asleep.

I love you-- It.

I love it.

- Thanks. (chuckling) - Uh...

You should subscribe to my channel.

Yeah, um, if I have time.

I work a lot.

What do you do?

Right now? I'm in summer school.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

Uh, for work, though,

I take care of disadvantaged kids.

One of them is 40.

(door opening)

Hide!

(footsteps going by)

(whispering) I thought I saw a Buttern.

(whispering) I see one now.

- (aloud) Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

What do you think?

Chickadee (whispering): I like it.

A lot.

♪

Huh.

That a bad "huh" or a good "huh"?

It sounds like a good "huh."

Well, we don't like to say things are good or bad,

but the selling of food within five feet of a bathroom facility

is prohibited by the Manitoba Safe Foods Act of 1983.

Wait. What are you trying to say, bro?

Your food's too close to the shitter.

(sighing) Straight to the trash.

Female voice: Amawishin.

Fok'n fluffy!

(music playing)

- Hey! - (music grinding to a stop)

Oh.

- She stole our bannock! - Ah!

Not only will the wind turbines provide us with...

(whispering) Hey. Psst.

Nobody likes me?

- Nobody likes you. - (Ernie grumbling)

Sonya: ...reduced compared to traditional methods...

Mascootch.

You're a mascootch. That's you.

Constructing the wind turbines would allow us...

(sniffing) Oh, you smell that?

It smells like piss.

Or is that just because you're a wiizii'geewan'nakinth.

Also sell excess power back to the government.

- You're pissy. - You probably can't even smell

the piss because you're so pissy!

Sonya: At this time, I have to ask you both to stop.

(nasally) At this time, I must ask you

to try a different phrase.

(murmuring)

This is hardly chief behaviour!

Yeah, Jo!

You, too, Ernie!

Both of you are acting like children!

She called me fat!

He made fun of my medallion!

That's it!

At this time,

both of you can get out!

After you, pleather mukluks!

Okay. Mr. Drops His .22 In the Muskeg!

Jo: Poor babies! Couldn't hack it,

so you packed up your mamas and left!

Ah, shut up!

- Bonnie? - Bonnie: Oh!

She stole our bannock!

Bonnie, what are you doing with devil's food?

It's just so good!

I can't help it!

That filth has made you a liar!

Just give it back!

The fok? This is total chaos.

- I love it. - I think I know what to do.

Well, you better hurry. My mom's got your dad in a headlock.

Say uncle!

Never! (grunting)

Just let me have it!

Just-- just one more bite.

Drop the bannock, or the jam gets it.

It's got so much more life to live!

(whispering) Hello.

(people murmuring)

Hello. Hello.

- (people murmuring) - Hello.

Chickadee, get away from that Buttern!

You want to get nits or what?

This isn't the place for you. The adults are talking.

- Shh. Shh. Shh. - (murmurs quieting)

Why does my head feel like this?

Aniin. Aniin.

- I feel so calm... - Serena: Aniin. Aniin.

...and yet so annoyed at the same time.

Serena: Aniin. Aniin.

I want it to stop because it's dumb.

- Serena: Shh. - But I also feel calm.

- This is stupid. - Serena: Maanoo.

- Right? - Serena: Shh.

Yes, it is, but somehow I feel...

less angry.

(aloud) Chickadee, it's working.

- You did it! - (giggling)

Jo: Can I borrow this fucked-up little mic?

Of course. Yes, ma'am.

Jo: Ah.

Everyone, you know, I will admit,

things got out of control,

and for that, I apologize.

But I just want to say,

if we can't put our differences aside,

we're no better than our kids.

I'm better.

But Jo, she stole our bannock!

But Ernie, they took our jam!

(Jo sighing)

Alone, the bannock

is just bannock,

and alone, jam is just jam.

But if we put those two things together,

amazing things can happen.

(Paul chuckling softly)

Bonnie, would you like

to dip my bannock into your jam?

Uh, as weird as that sounds,

you bet.

Ah.

Bonnie: Oh!

Oh! Fok, that's good!

(grunting)

er Laughingstick narrating)

♪ Hey I'm built like bannock ♪

♪ Don't take long now to understand it ♪

♪ I, I'm built like bannock ♪

♪ I got the bread ♪

♪ No need to panic ♪

♪ Hey I'm built like bannock ♪

♪ Don't take long now to understand it ♪

♪ Wow I'm built like bannock ♪

♪ I got the bread ♪

♪ No need to panic ♪

♪ Whoa jah ♪

♪ So fresh ♪

♪ I'm big and round ♪

♪ Make that booty go touch the ground ♪

♪ So crispy ♪

♪ Lookin' like gold ♪