Original subtitles

So, this is dating on the rez, hey?

(crow cawing)

Yeah.

The city has got the zoo,

but you have to admit,

this is a little more authentic.

(roaring)

Yeah. Way more authentic.

It's just this is the fifth time we've been to the dump,

and it's been the same bear every time.

This guy's act is getting kind of stale.

Hey, buddy. Get some new material.

(laughing) Yeah. We get it.

You can do stuff.

(Jo yawning)

Jo: Yawn.

Let's go, already. Shake it up.

Jo: We've seen that one.

Logan: Let's get out of here.

This is just sad.

♪ 'Cause I can love you, baby ♪

♪ All night long ♪

It's the dawn of the Grouse Lake Grouse Break,

so that means hunting season is officially open.

(bell dinging)

And not a moment too soon.

There's way too many of them.

They're eating our berries, attacking our rez dogs

and peeping in our windows while we change.

Before the hunt starts,

here's Buck Shot and the Twenty Twos

with their hit song,

"There's No Safety on this Dear Heart o' Mine."

Fok. I remember killing my first grouse like it was yesterday.

Grouse don't fuck with me, bro. They know I'm hard.

Killing grouse? Not that crazy.

Yeah, it is. It's nuts.

Yeah. Last one I killed fed my family for whole a week.

First grouse I killed, I went full Assassin's Creed.

I blasted it with my slingshot from, like,

here to that pile of dog shit.

- On God? For real? - No cap.

One time, I shot a grouse's heart

right through its chest. Didn't even ruin the meat.

Oh, yeah? What did you shoot it with?

A double-barrel. Sawed-off buckshot-y.

Your story is shotty.

Yeah. I don't think you killed one before, bro.

- Yeah. I have. - You're capping.

I'm not capping. I never cap! There's no cap.

All right.

If you killed one, what sound did it make when it died?

Paul: Well, at first, when I shot it,

it didn't make a noise.

And then, all of a sudden, it started to go,

"Owie! Owie-owie-owie-ouch."

"Owie-owie-ouch?"

Man, fuck you guys!

(laughing)

Dean: I know this may seem crazy,

and maybe things are moving too fast,

but I've been giving it a lot of thought.

(knocking on door)

Ahoy.

Can I offer you some oranges or some spruce bark?

No, I'm good. Let's go.

Uh, it's, uh-- It's scurvy season.

Aw, that's so cute. You're worried about me getting scurvy.

Here, here. Have a seat.

- Here? - Yeah.

I was thinking in there.

Oh, no. That room's got, like,

bees or wasps or something sting-y.

Quit fucking around, and let's fuck around.

Wait. Uh, don't go in there.

Shit!

Get-- Oh.

Is this supposed to be me?

This isn't so bad.

You and me...

(Chickadee clearing throat)

...and Chickadee.

Just the three of us.

Alone. Together.

Well, I better go

get ready for the hunt.

I have to make a speech. Uh, Chickadee?

(clearing throat)

I don't like you.

Do you want to talk about it?

Nope. Doesn't matter anyways. You won't be around that long.

You don't know that.

My mom usually goes for

the long-haired, good-looking macho types,

and you're a short-haired, yogurt-eating yoga boy.

All that does is give me energy to be your mom's boyfriend.

Yeah. That's what you think, city boy.

I think my mom is going to break you.

And if she doesn't, I will.

I'll see you on the hunting grounds.

The only hunting you do is for lattes in the city.

Hey. It's not easy trying to find a barista

who's good at pouring those little cream hearts.

Damn it. Those hearts are cool.

(grunting)

What's the matter, b'eb?

Were those kids being mean to you again?

- Yes. - Tell me their names.

I'll go talk to their moms.

Just leave it.

You're just going to embarrass me more.

(sighing)

I have something I have to tell you.

What? Paul, you're scaring me.

I have never...

...killed a grouse.

Oh. You haven't?

It all started when I was a young,

handsome-as-hell kid.

My boy, remember that

everything in nature is connected,

and that we respect all living things.

Look, Ma. A grousey. Can we keep him?

Shh. Keep it the fuck down.

(grouse peeping)

(panting)

You better believe we can keep it, for dinner.

(bones cracking)

Eee!

Paul: To this day,

I shrivel at the thought of hunting.

How am I supposed to provide for my kid if I can't even hunt?

Well, why don't you tag along with the Deadly Teens?

They'll show you how.

Besides, you can't be that scared of grouse.

I mean, you're eating one now.

Welcome to the Grouse Lake Grouse Break.

Before we start, here's Chief Jo.

(cheering)

What are you, a fucking pylon?

Safety first.

People of Grouse Lake, today is a traditional day

where we pay respect to our ancestors.

Hurry the hell up.

Well, all right.

I'll be here all day checking your grouse with Lips,

and as of this moment, the Grouse Lake Grouse Break

is officially open!

(gunshot sounding)

Let's go, sucker.

If I get to five grouse first,

I get to harass you every damn day until you leave.

Well, if I get five grouse first,

you leave me and your mom alone and let our love blossom.

Sounds fuckin' good to me, nurse boy.

Don't you got any buttholes to be looking at?

I'm looking at one right now.

So, she's me?

Yeah, man.

And you use it for--

Oh, no. It's not what you think.

(sighing) Okay.

I was actually using her

to practise asking you something.

Captain Gale, will you shack up with me?

Uh--

Is that a good "uh"

or a bad "uh"?

My life is out there, Dean, on the high seas.

You mean Lake Winnipeg?

And if I'm going to shack up with anyone,

it's the open water.

But it could be here with me.

You want me to live on land like some kind of landlubber?

Fine, then. It's me

or the sea.

A captain always chooses her sea.

Are we breaking up?

Sorry, Dean.

That's okay. I don't need you anyway.

I got bucket head.

Hey. Do you guys mind if I tag along?

Forget it, bitch.

Grouse smell fear.

But I need to learn how to hunt.

Fine.

But you got to prove yourself first,

or beat it.

Shh. There's one up ahead.

Don't fuck this up.

- (panting) - (grouse peeping)

(shouting) I can't.

What a baby-ace.

Oof.

Later, city boy.

(chuckling)

All you had to do was kill a grouse, man.

That's it.

You? You want to become a dad?

But you're a scared little baby.

Why are you so scared of everything?

- (twig snapping) - (panting)

I know that's you guys.

You guys need to stop playing around.

This isn't funny.

(screaming)

What's the matter? Too good for me?

So, you're too good to hunt me, eh?

- Uh, uh-- - Just fucking acting good.

Are you even real?

How's that for real, you big, bald fuck?

- Ouch! - Look, kid.

My kind made a deal with the big C upstairs.

You're supposed to hunt me.

- But why? - I don't fuckin' know.

Just go away!

You're still not fuckin' getting it.

It's the circle of life or some shit.

Things kill things. Even I kill shit.

Look.

Mmm. All right. Now, go on. Do it. Kill me.

I ain't got to hunt shit!

Really, Creator?

This is the fuckin' guy you send me?

Oh, hey.

What took you so long there, Slo-gan?

It's not about speed when it comes to hunting.

You learn that at shithead school?

Yeah, and I graduated with honours.

How's summer school going?

Pretty good, actually.

I just learned to count, which comes in handy,

because I've got two grouse

and you've got zero.

Well, if you need me, I'll be right here,

relaxing with my thoughts.

Logan: Shh.

(birds chirping)

Here's a little math question for you.

If Chickadee has two grouse

but Logan has three...

...who's the shithead now?

Ah Shayshkiish!

Yeah.

(knocking at door)

Yeah, yeah.

This is awkward,

but me ship's dry-docked and I'm marooned.

What, you want to stay here?

It's the only place in town.

We got one rule. No heartbreakers allowed.

I don't want to do this, Dean. This is super awkward.

I'd rather haul anchor and get the hell out of here.

Take any room you want. Towels in the closet.

And if you hear crying in the night, well,

that's the hot water tank.

(shouting)

You're still not getting it, man.

You want me to make it easy for you?

Okay.

Here you go.

- I'm a real piece of shit. - I'm still not doing it.

Done some terrible things in my life, Paul.

I deserve this.

So, just because you're a piece of shit,

I'm supposed to hunt you?

How's this?

I got eight kids, and I only like two of them.

And when I borrow money from my aunties,

I never give it back.

- That's light work. - How's this?

I'm racist against magpies.

I think they're a total drain on the bird species.

I don't give a shit about any of this, Grousey.

Well, that's not even racism. That's just facts.

(grunting)

All right, boy.

If you're not going to hunt me...

...then I guess I got to hunt you.

(calling)

Nice bird call there,

if you were looking for spruce hens.

Take it easy, bird brain.

Here's the call of the Chickadee.

Fuck you. Fuck you.

You know, for a girl named after a bird,

you sure know nothing about them.

You want to draw in some grouse?

Stand back.

What the fuck you doing?

The grouse mating dance.

Didn't know they were your type.

Worked on your mom.

Nice moves.

Shh.

It worked!

There's two right there.

Not anymore.

Four to three, sucker.

Two grouse, one stone.

Dean: Hey. So, I have a date coming over.

I hope that's not going to be too uncomfortable for you.

I don't care.

Slide over, then, bro.

Oh, yeah.

Ah.

Oh, look, honey. It's our favourite show.

(laughing)

He's so funny, isn't he, honey? Oh.

I'll be in my quarters.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize

I had made you so jealous.

It's okay, baby.

You won't do it, Grousey.

The fuck I won't.

What the hell, man? Are you crazy?

I am, actually.

We get a little weird in our old age.

What the fuck?

- I'm not hunting you! - That's right, dummy.

I'm hunting you.

I always wondered what you fuckers tasted like.

(panting)

♪

(shouting)

(panting)

Last chance, numb-nuts.

Got it. Yeah. That's five.

I missed. I totally missed.

Are you going to cry?

Oh, you're going to cry.

I literally have blueprints for what I'm about to do to you.

Congrats, Chickadee.

The shit I'm about to say is actually outlawed by the UN.

Make it a good one, kid.

That's it.

Remember, I deserve this. I'm a piece of shit.

Okay.

Do it already!

I can't!

You fucking bastard.

Grousey! No, no, no. Grousey, Grousey!

Paul, are you there?

I'm right here, Grousey. You stay with me.

It's too late for me, kid.

It's not too late.

We're going to get a medivac for you right away.

Save the plane for someone who isn't a piece of shit.

- Hey. - Yes.

You got a light?

I'm so sorry, Grousey.

Save your crying for later.

I need you to do some things for me.

Anything you want, Grousey.

I stashed some berries

under the bush by the river.

Give them to my two kids I like,

and tell the other six I never liked them.

And don't worry. They're pieces of shit, like me.

(sniffling) I got it. Berries, kids.

And when you eat me, Paul,

have them do me up like they did my Uncle Ralph.

- Okay. - Parsnips, potatoes

and a light gravy. Nothing too heavy.

You're going to be so delicious.

Yeah. Oh, before I forget,

this wasn't an accident.

You had a hunter in you the whole time.

No, I didn't.

It's true. You're a provider now, kid.

So, go get some more and provide for that kid of yours.

I was a shit dad, but you?

You're going to be a great father.

(coughing)

Owie-owie-ouch!

I fucking knew it. Grousey!

Hey. Don't worry, Logan.

After you give your fifth prostate exam

to another hairy uncle,

you'll forget all this ever happened.

Leave me alone.

Oh, hey. Look.

It's the woman who's going to break up with you

any day now.

Logan, Chickadee!

My two favourite people.

Hi. Did you miss me?

- Of course. - I missed you.

- Yeah. - Look at these.

Let's fire these babies up and have some dinner.

Fok sakes. Logan, hold up.

I'll be right there, okay?

What's up?

You want to make fun of my kombucha?

No. I mean, yes, but look.

I don't know why, but clearly, my mom likes you.

Yeah, and?

Just forget the damn bet.

- Really? - Yeah.

Thanks, Chickadee.

Just try to be more stoic or something.

Fok. You're too dopey.

Oh.

Oh, hey, Gale.

Sorry if you're looking for any breakfast.

My girlfriend here ate the last of the eggs.

Can we talk for a second?

Sure.

Alone?

Whatever you have to say in front of me,

you can say in front of her.

(limb clattering)

Okay, fine.

Listen, minnow. I've been thinking.

Maybe it was seeing you with another woman,

or maybe I'm losing my sea legs.

But life on the high waters will always be there for me.

- You mean Lake Winnipeg? - But maybe you won't.

- What are you saying? - I'd like to stay.

At least give it a shot.

What do you say? Aye?

Aye-aye!

Oh, Gale! You're the perfect woman.

Ooh.

Awas! You're making me shy.

What did you just say?

"Awas." It's a Cree word.

But why would you say it?

Because I'm Cree.

You better get back to your boat.

What are you talking about?

Come on, Gale. You're a Cree. I'm Ojibway.

Our people are at war.

War? They were never at war. That's just a friendly rivalry.

Not for me, it's not.

You're serious?

Yeah, man.

Well, bucket head, looks like it's just you and me.

But I got to ask you something.

You're not a Cree, are you?

Paul: Hmm.

You know, Paul,

you're going to be a pretty great dad after all.

The best.

Nice work, shooter.

(whispering) I love you, Grousey.

I love you too, you son of a bitch.

- Grousey? - You'll never believe it.

Grouse heaven is crazy, bro.

Elvis and Tupac did a show for us last night.

No fuckin' way!

Fuckin' way.

♪ Roam, baby, roam ♪

♪ Don't keep running away ♪

♪ You can call home to me ♪

♪ You can't keep running away ♪

♪