Original subtitles

Rose: Cêskwa. Cêskwa.

Come on. Are we pregnant or what?

Rose: Not even.

Well, that's okay. We can keep trying.

Mm. Great. More scheduled sex.

That's the best kind! (chuckling)

- You don't have to take a tone. - It wasn't a tone.

- I hear-ed a tone. - Ma!

Agnes: Zhigwa.

My kookum-a-logical clock is ticking.

Man: His tone seemed fine to me.

Don't listen to them.

You got this, champ!

Would you guys get out?

You're scaring my eggs.

Yeah. Does the whole rez have to be here?

Man 2: It's a great question.

I'll see myself out.

Well, you heard it here first.

Paul still hasn't knocked up Rose.

Is it because her eggs are scared?

Or is Paul's sperm count shockingly low?

Everyone get the fok out!

- Yup. - You bet.

There wasn't a tone.

I'm going to watch TV.

Not so fast.

We're not done yet.

Remember what you said

when we first started trying to get pregnant?

"I can love you, baby..."

"All... night... long."

♪ Yes I can love you baby ♪

♪ All night long ♪

Customer: Aaniin.

Got any bread?

Oh. Well, a shipment just came off the barge,

but it's still in the box.

- You got any milk? - Uh, no, no,

but we do have, uh, cream of celery soup.

Could be the start of one mean casserole.

We're not a casserole nation, bro.

That's more of a Dene thing.

Dean, that is the fifth customer we lost today.

Man: Sixth, actually, bro.

You missed one when you were carrying in those heavy boxes.

You know, we did agree to run the store together.

And you're doing a great job, bro.

And for some reason,

we agreed to call this place Yeah, Man.

It's a great name, bro.

When people ask us for help, we say--

- "Yeah, man." - "Yeah, man."

- Hey! Where you going? - See my girlfriend.

Ooh. When did that happen?

I don't know. Back when you were, like, painting,

dry-walling, flooring. What's the problem, man?

Well, it just seems like the kind thing you would tell

a good buddy like me. (chuckling)

Like, you would say, "Hey, Greg. I got a girlfriend."

(chuckling) And then I would say,

"Is it the kind of girlfriend that you have to plug in?"

Dean? Dean, I...

He never hears my best jokes.

Wasn't that good, bro.

Rose: Nee-Cheemoosh.

Are you going running again?

Yeah, b'eb. Healthy Paul, healthy balls.

Aw, b'eb.

I know it's taking a while, but you're doing so good.

It's nothing.

Nothing? You're running,

going to bed early.

You gave up weed and snacks just to get us pregnant.

What did I do to deserve you?

Hey. Fertility on three?

Fertility on three.

Both: Peyuk... neso... niwin.

Fertility!

(rock music playing)

(music grinding to a halt)

(grunting)

(sighing)

All: Paul!

Man, do I love exercising!

(all laughing)

(knocking)

Willie! How's the garbage man doing?

Waste-keeper.

Willie the waste-keeper.

Hey, great earrings, by the way.

Oh. Yeah. I just-- I just got these

from, uh, uh, a local bead-er here in Grouse Lake.

Cool. Cool.

So, you know I-- I never ask for much.

Uh, but I come to you today, hat in hand,

to talk about, uh, Bertha, my garbage truck.

Good old Bertha.

You know what?

It's a beautiful day!

Let's take this meeting outside.

No. It's okay. I'm fine in here.

Uh, anyways, Bertha, she's seen better days.

- Yeah. - Jo: Mm-hmm.

I remember her first clean-up day like it was yesterday.

She could gobble up a piss-stained mattress

like it was fried bologna.

(fan whirring)

Best truck this side of Hollow Water.

- Oh, shit. Sorry. - What the fok, Jo?

You were saying?

Oh, I see. You think I smell.

The fan is because it's hot in here!

And the-- the-- the AC is on the fritz,

which really sucks, because I just got it fixed

- last reek. Week! - (flies buzzing)

I work hard to keep everything clean.

The smell comes with the job.

That's funny to you?

You better start showing me respect.

I'm the only waste-keeper you got.

No. No. Yeah. No. Totally.

Willie: Sitting there all better than me,

acting like I don't deserve a new garbage truck.

You can't even look at me in the eye and give me

a straight answer.

Is everything okay?

Ho'leh! This room stinks.

Oh, hey. You got two flies mating on your eye.

- What? - (buzzing)

I had two flies doing it on my face

and you didn't say anything?

You know what?

We have a saying at the dump,

and it goes like this.

I see how it is.

Yeah? Well, it's hard to see how it is

when you got two flies poonching on your peepers!

Gramps: So, I says to the elders at the lodge, I says,

"I would really love to play Merchandise Bingo

and win some towels, hand towels," I said.

"But I got this damn boil on my jeet," I said!

(both laughing)

"Sorry, beading group.

I would love to make another rosette,

but I have to drive Gramps to the arse doctor!"

(all laughing)

Oh, shit!

Time flies when you're just bullshitting!

(Rita laughing)

- Look at that. - (spraying)

I went on a long one! (laughing)

Have you given more thought to what we talked about?

Yeah. There's more room in here for another table or two.

Maybe a VLT machine or a craps table.

Let's get this place rocking!

You two are full of craps!

The more low-key this place is, the better!

You guys trying to get me in trouble or what?

People say you shouldn't fly too close to the sun,

- but I think it's warmer there. - (laughing)

(sighing) Just keep it quiet, you guys.

Ah, I don't think that boy knows what he's doing

with his own place.

Well, I might know someone who does.

Mm.

(laughing)

So, this is your new store?

Yeah, man. Cool, eh?

You're dating the barge captain.

I mean, wow!

You're dating Gale, the barge captain.

- Yeah. - Lucky guy, eh, Greg?

Oh, you betcha. (chuckling)

Dean, can I have a word?

Ah, no prob, bro.

Help yourself to anything you want.

I think there's some vitamin C over there.

Mm. Well, blow me down.

(all laughing)

Dean! That's your girlfriend?

Hey. She's more than just a girlfriend, bro.

There was something different in that last hickey.

Greg: Oh.

Dean, barge captains live by the laws of the lake,

if you know what I mean.

Oh, yeah.

No swimming an hour after you eat.

No. Dean, she goes port to port.

Yeah, bro. That's her job.

Dean, you can't trust her. She probably has a Dean

in every treaty territory around Lake Winnipeg.

Okay, man. Sounds like you're being stereotypical

towards barge captains.

I have a lot of friends who are barge captains.

Oh, yeah? Name one.

- Gale. - Oh. Okay.

Hey, Dean, arrrrghh you ready?

Yeah, babe. I'm ready.

Greg: I will just ring you two through.

That should be $9.25.

Or free. (sighing)

Take whatever you want, everyone. Just help yourself.

Customer: Fok'n sweet!

Paul: Oshki Ogimah?

(knocking)

What the fuck? Open up!

What's the password?

Open up, Rita!

It's me, Paul!

Wow! You got it on the first try.

(locks clicking)

(people chattering)

♪ I'm singing so loud but I should be quiet ♪

♪ This is the Keemooch Room ♪

♪ And Paul's cheating on his diet ♪

Gramps, what the hell?

(Ducky scatting)

I thought I said to keep everything quiet!

Well, you weren't thinking big enough,

so we went out and found someone that does!

(Ducky continuing to sing)

Welcome to the Keemooch Room.

What the fok? Cousin Leon?

What's he so mad about?

Help yourself!

For you, everything's on the house.

This is my house!

(music continuing)

I know it's a lot, but don't worry.

This place is locked down tighter than Indian Affairs.

This is your security?

Who's paying them?

Relax! They work for free!

Freezies! (laughing)

Paul: This is stupid.

Man. I never win at this.

(all shouting, laughing)

Oh, boy. This is trouble.

This is some serious trouble.

(shouting) Hello? Anyone?

Can I go home now?

Come on, Leon.

You were supposed to just give him a warning

and then put everything back to the way it was.

I'm afraid I can't do that, Paul.

There's too much at risk here,

and this guy has got stool pigeon written all over him.

Paul: What are you going to do to him?

Going to make sure he keeps his big mouth shut.

It won't work. They can hit me as hard as they want,

and I'm still talking.

No. Not you.

We're going after someone close,

someone you love.

Boys, let Paul have it.

What are you doing?

No! No! Anyone but Paul!

Gaawiin! Gaawiin!

Okay! Okay! Fine! I'll keep my mouth shut!

But if Paul and Rose break up before they have a baby

and she comes lovingly back to me,

I'm going to be so pissed!

Hey. You said no one would get hurt.

My ribs are kind of sore.

We're way past that now, sweet cheeks.

Way past that.

♪

No! There's no way!

He skipped my garbage!

(groaning loudly)

This fok'n guy!

(groaning loudly)

Dean: You know, I've, uh, never told this to anyone before,

but, uh, I've always wanted to be a bird.

Yeah. Yeah. Birds are sexy.

Whoa! Hey, hey, hang on.

What about you?

Did you always want to be a barge captain?

Shiver me timbers.

For real, Dean?

I just want to give you a hickey.

I don't know. I just thought, you know,

we could get to know each other a little bit more.

Come on, Dean.

I set sail soon, and I got to leave.

Yeah, you're right.

Whoa, whoa. What are you doing?

We're swapping hickies.

You can't give a barge captain a hickey!

It's bad luck!

I've never heard of that.

Yeah. Yeah.

You know what they say.

Clear neck...

clear skies.

You think I'm lying?

Dirty deck, dirty neck.

Everybody knows this.

What's going on?

Ah, it's just something Greg said.

Greg, the store manager?

You can't trust store managers.

They go store to store, if you know what I mean.

Sounds like you're being stereotypical

toward store managers.

No. I have a lot of friends who are store managers.

Oh, yeah? Name one.

- Greg. - Oh, yeah.

So, uh...

you're not seeing anybody else other than me, right?

Is that what this is about?

You think I got a snag in every port, don't you?

I was just asking!

You know what?

Have fun giving yourself hickies,

because I'm pulling up anchor and setting sail

for Go Fuck Yourself Then.

Uh... what?

And by the way, Go Fuck Yourself Then isn't a real place.

I was telling you to fuck off.

Oh, look!

Cream of celery soup.

We can make a casserole!

We're not really a casserole nation, b'eb.

That's more of a Mohican thing.

Mohican? I thought there was only one left.

Hey, Paulie.

- Great night last night. - Excuse you?

Paul: I'm glad that you had a great night on your own.

(chuckling) So did I.

In fact, we all had great nights,

individually speaking. (chuckling)

(under his breath) Get the fuck out of here.

Why are you talking to her for?

She's the one that said hi to me.

What was I supposed to do? Close my eyes

and not say anything back?

Oh! Things are getting good!

God damn it. Excuse me, b'eb.

I'll be right back. (chuckling)

A fur coat? Are you crazy?

Leon: You got to try this on.

It's fok'n amazing.

It's like I got eaten by a wolf but without the chewing part.

I'll get you one. Don't worry.

Take it off!

Strutting around here

looking like an Indigenous Lady Gaga.

Fuck. Get out of here!

(chuckling)

What are you talking to Cousin Leon for?

And why does he have a fur coat on?

Uh, because he's a trapper now! (laughing)

What are you, the question lady?

Come on. Let's go get you that Mohican casserole.

Okay!

Willie, you've made your point!

Huh. Must have missed your place.

Listen. I was... mean yesterday.

Very mean. And then?

What? I don't know!

I was... kind of an asshole?

A huge asshole. What else?

Cut the shit.

I might have to get a little creative with the budget,

but... we can talk about a new truck.

That's a start.

Put her there.

(laughing) Look at us, eh?

The waste-keeper and the chief.

Come on.

It's a big day for the trash yard!

Well, I'm going to back to work.

Not so fast.

Made some soup.

You come all the way down here to talk to me.

I'm not going to let you go away hungry.

- I'm not hungry. - Rude to say no to food.

I don't have to tell you that.

You're the chief.

Come on.

Have a seat.

On that piece--

perfectly... worn-out couch?

You bet.

Just how like I like it.

Oh. Oh.

Cream of celery. Can you believe someone threw away

a whole can of this stuff?

Uh... (chuckling)

Willie: Wasted it.

Eat.

(Jo clearing throat)

You're going to want to watch for bones.

- In canned soup? - I added some things for taste.

(chuckling)

(retching)

Go on, before it gets cold.

I can't. I'm so sorry. (retching)

I knew it. You're too good for me!

There's fucking fingernails in there, Willie!

(awkwardly) Oh, there goes Paul again.

That's the fifth time I've seen him jogging

with my own two eyes.

What an honest and healthy guy,

just like Cousin Leon.

(clicking)

(normally) Is that good?

Now, play the song.

Here's Ducky MacKay and the Exercisers

with the song "There's Nothing Going On In That Shed."

(clicking)

(Ducky singing on radio)

Lips: Paul's shed. Hmm.

(Ducky continuing to sing on radio)

That's weird.

(Ducky continuing to sing on radio)

Lucky niizhwaaswi! (laughing)

Excuse me. Hey, Cousin Leon.

Hey, man. Uh, can we talk to you?

Hey, what's going on?

I'm on fire!

I need to talk to you.

Uh, actually, we need to talk to you.

Uh, in fact, you know what? Stephen Harper,

you're much better with words. You tell him.

Me? Uh, okay.

Uh, we were thinking this place should shut down and--

Oh, I forgot.

I got both you guys fur coats.

What?

Come on. Put them on!

- Coats. - Look at us, the fur coat boys!

It's so soft.

Now, what was it you wanted to tell me?

I, uh-- Yeah. I wanted to say, uh,

that these jackets are so frigging awesome!

(laughing)

Paul: Geez.

Way to tell him, Paul!

It's like I'm inside of a-- of a wolf right now.

Oh, my God.

♪

Lips: Look who's coming out of the shed.

Sabe.

Huh? (yelping)

Stephen Harper?

You better start talking.

("Ave Maria" playing)

♪

♪

- (song continuing over speaker) - (door closing)

(grunting)

If anyone asks,

I was here the whole time.

♪

Just freaking missing her there, buddy? (chuckling)

Too real, Greg.

I hate to say it, man,

but you were right about Gale.

Well, I-- I didn't want to be.

Hey. You know what might cheer you up?

Is putting on a vest and working through the pain. (chuckling)

- Not today, bro. - Hmm.

Ahoy.

Gale!

I'm going to go.

Steamroller!

- (Greg grunting) - (Dean grunting)

I just wanted to come by and apologize before I left.

It's okay.

No, it's not.

If it seems like I don't want to get to know you better,

it's because I don't.

Is that supposed to make me feel better?

No. It's because the closer I get to you,

the harder it is to leave.

Then stay.

You know I can't.

You'll always have to share me,

but not with another Dean,

for my heart belongs to the sea.

You mean Lake Winnipeg?

(ship's horn blowing)

I'll miss you.

One last hickey for the road?

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Well, look at us.

Three sausages in a pan. (chuckling)

Greg, man, get the fuck out of here, bro.

Oh, right.

(clearing throat)

Forget something?

You went through my trash?

Willie: I dig in everyone's trash.

It's one of the perks of the job.

Give it back.

Oh. I wonder what will people say

when they find out that their own chief

has been outsourcing beadwork to the Russians?

Fuck off.

It was just one pair,

and it was, like, six bucks.

I bet my name's not even on that receipt.

(gasping) Josephine Bittern.

Full name, even.

Jo: Let me see.

Think I've never blackmailed a chief before? I made copies.

Fok you.

Alright. Well, guess what?

(sighing)

Now, I'm on strike.

(Willie chuckling)

(swallowing with difficulty)

Strike? You can't strike!

That didn't even taste that bad, you know!

Laughingstick in the afternoon, Roger: (on radio) This is

and the old legs are tired.

Walking around the rez

sipping that tea straight from the kettle

is harder than it sounds.

Lips banished Cousin Leon,

and Paul is in hot water,

but it ain't all bitter.

Our good pal Dean found love on the high seas,

and if anything makes old Roger's heart swell,

it's when a landlubber and a salty sea dog find love

and set sail for the Isle of Hickey.

(man singing in Indigenous language)

♪