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1
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Previously on "You Me Her"...
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- Mom?
- Jack.
3
00:00:06,921 --> 00:00:08,888
I want to tell you how your father died.
4
00:00:08,923 --> 00:00:10,823
- Got into a car wreck.
- You were...
5
00:00:10,858 --> 00:00:14,227
about 10 months old
when the affair started.
6
00:00:14,262 --> 00:00:17,397
I let you keep on loving him.
7
00:00:17,432 --> 00:00:24,069
But then I couldn't
help hating you for it.
8
00:00:24,195 --> 00:00:26,695
I'm also very fond of you, and
I want you to be my girlfriend.
9
00:00:26,730 --> 00:00:28,397
NINA: "You will always hold the key."
10
00:00:28,432 --> 00:00:29,698
You make me better, Neen.
11
00:00:29,733 --> 00:00:31,032
I'm nothing without you.
12
00:00:31,068 --> 00:00:32,546
Now, listen, I got to
be back at the airport
13
00:00:32,570 --> 00:00:35,804
in 10 hours and 37
minutes, which, as you know,
14
00:00:35,839 --> 00:00:38,039
is 10 hours and 27
minutes more than I need.
15
00:00:38,075 --> 00:00:39,575
It took me four days
16
00:00:39,610 --> 00:00:40,820
to realize I was in love with you.
17
00:00:40,844 --> 00:00:42,077
JACK: He's going to California.
18
00:00:42,112 --> 00:00:43,390
What is he, in love
with you or something?
19
00:00:43,414 --> 00:00:45,547
Why would you say that? No.
20
00:00:45,583 --> 00:00:47,516
I saw on your computer
21
00:00:47,551 --> 00:00:50,385
that you were researching tri-custody.
22
00:00:50,421 --> 00:00:52,098
Well, that's what you
want, isn't it, babe?
23
00:00:52,122 --> 00:00:54,201
I need to know that this
will never happen again, okay?
24
00:00:54,225 --> 00:00:56,458
We're about to have twins.
We don't need a third child.
25
00:00:56,493 --> 00:00:58,705
Well, you've made that pretty
damn clear, haven't you, Em?
26
00:00:58,729 --> 00:01:01,697
I think that this commitment party
27
00:01:01,732 --> 00:01:04,466
has become like a, um...
28
00:01:04,501 --> 00:01:06,300
Like a deadline.
29
00:01:06,336 --> 00:01:08,302
Hey...
30
00:01:08,338 --> 00:01:15,042
♪♪
31
00:01:21,851 --> 00:01:25,753
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
32
00:01:25,788 --> 00:01:28,256
Here we go.
33
00:01:28,291 --> 00:01:33,060
♪♪
34
00:01:33,095 --> 00:01:35,329
[CROW CAWS]
35
00:01:36,566 --> 00:01:42,035
♪♪
36
00:01:42,071 --> 00:01:44,305
[SNIFFING]
37
00:01:44,340 --> 00:01:49,442
♪♪
38
00:01:54,650 --> 00:01:56,984
Dave!
39
00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:06,960
Jack!
40
00:02:32,788 --> 00:02:35,087
Ahh.
41
00:02:35,123 --> 00:02:36,956
[CLEARS THROAT]
42
00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:37,991
Jackson.
43
00:02:38,026 --> 00:02:40,159
- David.
- Yes, yes.
44
00:02:40,195 --> 00:02:41,628
So, you coming or going?
45
00:02:41,663 --> 00:02:43,630
Oh, just, um...
actually had to take care
46
00:02:43,665 --> 00:02:45,343
of a little bid'ness,
if you know what I mean.
47
00:02:45,367 --> 00:02:47,166
- You know that I do!
- [BOTH LAUGH]
48
00:02:47,202 --> 00:02:49,803
Oh, God. Really, David?!
49
00:02:49,838 --> 00:02:51,604
Okay, well, you know, have a nice trip.
50
00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:53,640
I'll... I'll see you on the other side.
51
00:02:53,675 --> 00:02:55,107
Uh, that's...
52
00:02:55,143 --> 00:02:56,643
Bye. I love you, too.
53
00:02:56,678 --> 00:02:58,222
Figured I'd get a
kiss goodbye or some...
54
00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,446
- I'll be back soon.
- Yeah.
55
00:02:59,481 --> 00:03:00,913
So, tonight's the big night, right?
56
00:03:00,949 --> 00:03:03,416
You gonna lock it all
in, sign it with blood?
57
00:03:03,452 --> 00:03:04,452
Well, hopefully, ink.
58
00:03:04,486 --> 00:03:05,552
Yeah. Yeah.
59
00:03:05,587 --> 00:03:07,019
- Are you coming?
- I can't.
60
00:03:07,055 --> 00:03:08,633
I got... I got my
thing in Eugene tonight.
61
00:03:08,657 --> 00:03:09,657
Mm. I bet you do.
62
00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:10,922
- Okay.
- That was too easy.
63
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,369
Later, I got a...
another one in Florence.
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00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:14,793
[LAUGHS] Ohh! Dave, you bisexual slut.
65
00:03:14,829 --> 00:03:16,773
See, this is great. We should
never break this act up.
66
00:03:16,797 --> 00:03:18,464
- I miss this.
- I know. Me, too.
67
00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:20,276
- God.
- So, how'd you sell Izzy on Hawthorne Heights?
68
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,000
Did you hypnotize her
or silent treatment?
69
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:23,435
That always works in my family.
70
00:03:23,471 --> 00:03:25,437
I just told her, you
know, it's good for now.
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00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:26,872
Doesn't have to be forever.
72
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:29,508
Yeah, but it is
forever, right? I mean...
73
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,678
look, Jack, don't toy
with my emotions here.
74
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,880
I mean, probably.
75
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,114
Yeah.
76
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:37,649
[CAR HORN BEEPS]
77
00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:38,685
Okay. I gotta go.
78
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,051
I'll see ya.
79
00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:43,054
Yeah.
80
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:46,091
Hey, that's a lot of threads
you three are weaving together.
81
00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:49,060
You better be sure,
for all three of you.
82
00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:51,696
We're sure.
83
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:52,830
No doubt.
84
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:56,034
Okay.
85
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,370
[HEARTBEATS]
86
00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:07,012
♪♪
87
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,722
- I love them.
- Fuck.
88
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:19,090
- Jesus.
- What the hell?
89
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:20,725
Well, I just about waterboarded myself
90
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,227
with hot tea. Ow.
91
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,329
I thought... I thought
you guys knew I was here.
92
00:04:24,364 --> 00:04:26,197
Oh, my God. 180 over 205.
93
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:27,598
- Is that good?
- I don't know.
94
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:29,567
Maybe it's 205 over 180.
95
00:04:33,272 --> 00:04:37,408
Look at them. They're, like... people.
96
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:40,078
4D Ultrasound.
97
00:04:40,914 --> 00:04:42,880
Shit gets real.
98
00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,955
They love you back.
99
00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:52,457
Huh? You said you love them.
100
00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:53,492
They love you back.
101
00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:55,192
Oh.
102
00:04:58,097 --> 00:04:59,097
Iz?
103
00:04:59,131 --> 00:05:00,765
I have to pee.
104
00:05:06,305 --> 00:05:07,972
Uh, outside?
105
00:05:10,443 --> 00:05:12,610
[DIALING]
106
00:05:14,546 --> 00:05:18,114
♪♪
107
00:05:18,149 --> 00:05:20,550
[CELLPHONE RINGING]
108
00:05:20,586 --> 00:05:23,620
♪♪
109
00:05:23,655 --> 00:05:24,955
Hey. What are you doing up?
110
00:05:24,990 --> 00:05:27,123
[CHUCKLES] Right?
111
00:05:27,158 --> 00:05:29,493
Well, I'm losing my shit.
112
00:05:29,528 --> 00:05:30,560
Were you asleep?
113
00:05:30,596 --> 00:05:31,895
Mm, no.
114
00:05:31,930 --> 00:05:33,563
Shaun has the bladder of a 90-year-old.
115
00:05:33,599 --> 00:05:35,799
I had to get up with him to
pee twice during the night.
116
00:05:35,834 --> 00:05:37,667
Why? Do you, like, hold it for him?
117
00:05:37,703 --> 00:05:39,335
[SNICKERS] Um, no.
118
00:05:39,371 --> 00:05:40,971
We had a bit of a...
119
00:05:41,006 --> 00:05:43,272
- handcuff mishap.
- [SHAUN SNORING]
120
00:05:43,308 --> 00:05:44,741
Of course you did.
121
00:05:44,776 --> 00:05:46,676
Mm. So, what's got
you freaking this time?
122
00:05:46,712 --> 00:05:50,246
So... they're real.
123
00:05:50,281 --> 00:05:53,282
Jack and Emma? What, you
mean, like, genuine? Authentic?
124
00:05:53,318 --> 00:05:55,552
No. The babies.
125
00:05:55,587 --> 00:05:57,019
I'm talking about the babies.
126
00:05:57,054 --> 00:06:00,055
- [SNORES]
- Oh.
127
00:06:00,090 --> 00:06:01,090
What's happening?
128
00:06:01,125 --> 00:06:02,925
Mm, Izzy just figured out
129
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:05,260
- that Emma has children in her tummy.
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]
130
00:06:05,295 --> 00:06:06,795
Okay. Don't explain that, please.
131
00:06:06,831 --> 00:06:09,064
IZZY: Hello? Okay, so, I saw them.
132
00:06:09,099 --> 00:06:10,633
Like, I really saw them
133
00:06:10,668 --> 00:06:14,737
on this 4D sonogram thing.
134
00:06:14,772 --> 00:06:18,273
And... and it's just...
It's, like, happening.
135
00:06:18,308 --> 00:06:20,442
I'm gonna give you some
tough love now, okay?
136
00:06:20,477 --> 00:06:22,244
Ow.
137
00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:23,913
You didn't literally
run to me this time,
138
00:06:23,948 --> 00:06:26,615
but you're still dumping your
biggest, heaviest feelings
139
00:06:26,651 --> 00:06:28,450
on me instead of them.
140
00:06:28,485 --> 00:06:30,352
Also, uh, the locksmith just texted,
141
00:06:30,387 --> 00:06:32,065
- and he's on his way up, so...
- Right, right.
142
00:06:32,089 --> 00:06:33,722
But here's the thing.
143
00:06:33,758 --> 00:06:36,224
I'm not gonna be their
nanny or their cool aunt
144
00:06:36,260 --> 00:06:40,728
or their "mamacita,"
whatever the fuck that means.
145
00:06:40,764 --> 00:06:44,231
I'm gonna be their mother.
146
00:06:44,267 --> 00:06:47,134
Like... like, they're gonna love me
147
00:06:47,170 --> 00:06:49,503
like they love Jack and Emma.
148
00:06:55,078 --> 00:06:57,144
Hello? Nina.
149
00:06:57,180 --> 00:06:59,080
You did not hang up on me.
150
00:06:59,115 --> 00:07:01,182
- I need you.
- You're right, Iz.
151
00:07:01,217 --> 00:07:03,217
Everything you just said is true, and...
152
00:07:03,252 --> 00:07:04,351
Right.
153
00:07:04,387 --> 00:07:06,554
... it's gonna kill me, but...
154
00:07:06,589 --> 00:07:08,189
now I'm hanging up on you.
155
00:07:08,224 --> 00:07:10,558
No, no. No...
156
00:07:10,593 --> 00:07:12,326
[SNORES]
157
00:07:12,361 --> 00:07:18,031
♪♪
158
00:07:18,067 --> 00:07:23,837
♪♪
159
00:07:23,872 --> 00:07:25,206
Hey.
160
00:07:25,241 --> 00:07:26,585
- You okay?
- You know, it's your house, too.
161
00:07:26,609 --> 00:07:28,375
You don't really have
to go outside to pee.
162
00:07:28,411 --> 00:07:29,810
Yeah, I mean, unless you want to.
163
00:07:29,845 --> 00:07:31,256
Oh, no, no. I... I
wasn't actually peeing.
164
00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:32,346
- Oh.
- No!
165
00:07:32,381 --> 00:07:34,881
So... um...
166
00:07:34,917 --> 00:07:37,117
I think I might be
freaking out a little bit.
167
00:07:37,152 --> 00:07:39,086
- About the party?
- No.
168
00:07:39,121 --> 00:07:41,121
About the babies being real.
169
00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:43,056
- Same.
- Me, too.
170
00:07:43,092 --> 00:07:44,758
- Really?
- Yeah.
171
00:07:44,793 --> 00:07:46,805
I don't understand how
everyone's just standing around
172
00:07:46,829 --> 00:07:48,929
watching this slow-motion
atrocity happen to us...
173
00:07:48,964 --> 00:07:50,864
I mean, giving us full responsibility
174
00:07:50,899 --> 00:07:52,866
- for two perfectly good lives?
- Thank you.
175
00:07:52,901 --> 00:07:55,213
Feels like someone should step
in and make a citizen's arrest.
176
00:07:55,237 --> 00:07:57,537
[LAUGHS] Okay, so, this
unscheduled breakdown
177
00:07:57,572 --> 00:07:59,072
is not a unicorn mom thing?
178
00:07:59,108 --> 00:08:01,407
It is an every-parent-ever thing.
179
00:08:03,411 --> 00:08:05,746
Look at this. This one here...
180
00:08:05,781 --> 00:08:08,514
This girl is kind of
the droll, sarcastic one
181
00:08:08,549 --> 00:08:10,049
that's above it all.
182
00:08:10,084 --> 00:08:12,351
So I'm thinking of naming
her Sarah Silverman.
183
00:08:12,386 --> 00:08:13,931
- Oh!
- Well, I already locked in on Silverman
184
00:08:13,955 --> 00:08:15,354
- as a middle name, so...
- Well, duh.
185
00:08:15,389 --> 00:08:16,789
It's lovely.
186
00:08:16,824 --> 00:08:18,691
Yeah. This is the dumb, happy one...
187
00:08:18,726 --> 00:08:19,859
- Aww.
- ... that everyone thinks
188
00:08:19,894 --> 00:08:21,204
is oblivious to the world's problems,
189
00:08:21,228 --> 00:08:22,728
but she's actually cracked the code.
190
00:08:22,764 --> 00:08:23,963
Winning at life.
191
00:08:23,998 --> 00:08:26,365
[GASPS] Butterfly.
192
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,100
Beautiful.
193
00:08:28,136 --> 00:08:29,535
Okay. Done and done.
194
00:08:29,570 --> 00:08:31,303
Sarah Silverman and Butterfly.
195
00:08:31,338 --> 00:08:33,739
I can't believe people sweat this stuff.
196
00:08:33,775 --> 00:08:35,808
[CELLPHONES CHIME]
197
00:08:35,843 --> 00:08:40,012
Wha-a-t? That's so weird.
198
00:08:40,048 --> 00:08:41,946
Okay, Gabe is coming over here
199
00:08:41,982 --> 00:08:44,683
and taking me to brunch. We do that?
200
00:08:44,718 --> 00:08:45,995
Carmen booked us couple massages.
201
00:08:46,019 --> 00:08:48,653
We definitely don't do that.
202
00:08:48,689 --> 00:08:50,689
- Hmm.
- Why you looking at me?
203
00:08:50,724 --> 00:08:53,158
Oh, because I arranged to
have you guys out of the house
204
00:08:53,193 --> 00:08:56,494
so you could never say you had
anything to do with my amazing party?
205
00:08:56,529 --> 00:08:57,829
That's why you're looking at me?
206
00:08:57,864 --> 00:08:59,197
[LAUGHS]
207
00:08:59,232 --> 00:09:02,433
- [DOORBELL RINGS]
- [GASPS] My posse.
208
00:09:02,468 --> 00:09:04,302
- Posse!
- Hey!
209
00:09:04,337 --> 00:09:05,770
- Hi.
- Hi.
210
00:09:05,776 --> 00:09:06,776
- Come in.
- Hello!
211
00:09:06,807 --> 00:09:07,972
Hello, hello!
212
00:09:08,008 --> 00:09:10,408
So, she cheats with my husband,
213
00:09:10,443 --> 00:09:11,910
then I fall in love with her.
214
00:09:11,945 --> 00:09:13,511
Yeah. Then she eggs the neighbor's house
215
00:09:13,546 --> 00:09:15,324
and somehow ends up with
more friends than we do.
216
00:09:15,348 --> 00:09:16,925
IZZY: Okay. So, here's
what I'm thinking.
217
00:09:16,949 --> 00:09:18,526
- Do you have any papier-mâché?
- Of course I do.
218
00:09:18,550 --> 00:09:19,649
Oh, hold my shit.
219
00:09:19,685 --> 00:09:21,451
Mm.
220
00:09:21,486 --> 00:09:22,853
Let's go.
221
00:09:22,888 --> 00:09:30,293
♪♪
222
00:09:30,329 --> 00:09:31,661
CARMEN: A day spa...
223
00:09:31,697 --> 00:09:33,597
- with a nursery.
- [CHUCKLES]
224
00:09:33,632 --> 00:09:35,833
I will never get back all
the years of not knowing this.
225
00:09:35,868 --> 00:09:37,634
[SIGHS] Live in the now.
226
00:09:37,669 --> 00:09:39,502
Oh, and also, shut up.
227
00:09:39,538 --> 00:09:41,839
We had so much sex.
228
00:09:41,874 --> 00:09:43,273
Didn't we discuss this?
229
00:09:43,308 --> 00:09:45,508
There's nothing grosser
than bragging about sex
230
00:09:45,544 --> 00:09:47,711
with your spouse of
more than five years.
231
00:09:47,747 --> 00:09:49,947
You're right. I totally know better.
232
00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:53,549
It was like porn without a camera.
233
00:09:53,584 --> 00:09:54,817
That's it. I'm done.
234
00:09:54,853 --> 00:09:56,185
Just except to say we won at sex.
235
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:57,586
Yay?
236
00:09:57,622 --> 00:09:59,255
[WHISPERING] Okay. Quiet time.
237
00:09:59,290 --> 00:10:01,023
Okay.
238
00:10:04,362 --> 00:10:06,695
[CELLPHONE RINGING]
239
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:09,866
Seriously? What, you're the one
bringing a phone into a massage?
240
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,734
What kind of "Freaky
Friday" shit is this?
241
00:10:11,770 --> 00:10:13,035
Jesus, chill out.
242
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:14,904
Go to a spa or something.
243
00:10:14,939 --> 00:10:17,506
Dave and I always call each
other right before takeoff.
244
00:10:17,541 --> 00:10:19,408
Aww.
245
00:10:19,443 --> 00:10:21,310
Now, don't move. I'm gonna slowly get up
246
00:10:21,345 --> 00:10:22,478
and kill you.
247
00:10:22,513 --> 00:10:24,046
Okay, I'll stay very still.
248
00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:25,447
This is weird.
249
00:10:25,483 --> 00:10:27,282
Hello?
250
00:10:27,317 --> 00:10:30,585
This is Carmen.
251
00:10:30,620 --> 00:10:33,088
- Really?
- Shh!
252
00:10:33,123 --> 00:10:35,456
- Really?
- Shh!
253
00:10:35,492 --> 00:10:36,591
Really?!
254
00:10:36,626 --> 00:10:38,059
Oh, my God. It's all true.
255
00:10:38,095 --> 00:10:40,561
Whoever it is ain't playing.
256
00:10:40,597 --> 00:10:42,264
- Jesus.
- They made a mistake!
257
00:10:42,299 --> 00:10:43,431
I'm nominated!
258
00:10:43,466 --> 00:10:45,000
For what? Worst spa guest ever?
259
00:10:45,035 --> 00:10:46,935
Best Wine Review!
260
00:10:46,970 --> 00:10:49,004
In Portland. In a monthly publication.
261
00:10:49,039 --> 00:10:51,306
Just reds. Whites are
a different category.
262
00:10:51,341 --> 00:10:53,108
Congratulations?
263
00:10:53,143 --> 00:10:57,012
I'm nominated! Yeah!
264
00:10:57,047 --> 00:10:58,691
- [PEOPLE GASPING]
- WOMAN: Oh, my God! She's naked!
265
00:10:58,715 --> 00:11:00,015
Come on. You've seen worse.
266
00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:02,450
That is awesome.
267
00:11:02,485 --> 00:11:03,918
Yoo-hoo. Break's over.
268
00:11:03,953 --> 00:11:06,586
Let's do this thing.
269
00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:08,422
[SNIFFS] Oh, that's nice.
270
00:11:12,929 --> 00:11:16,663
Oh, look, it's the wacky
sidekick and her wacky sidekick.
271
00:11:16,699 --> 00:11:19,733
Oh, hey, standard-issue
droll gay neighbor.
272
00:11:19,768 --> 00:11:21,468
- Where's the boss?
- How can I help?
273
00:11:21,503 --> 00:11:23,971
Oh, no, I, uh... I mean the hostess?
274
00:11:24,006 --> 00:11:26,173
She answers to Izzy.
She's got curly hair.
275
00:11:26,209 --> 00:11:29,343
She's, like, 62.9% as pretty as me.
276
00:11:29,378 --> 00:11:31,178
That's a good question.
277
00:11:31,214 --> 00:11:33,179
- Isabelle?
- Izzy?
278
00:11:33,215 --> 00:11:35,148
Is she in the bathroom?
279
00:11:35,183 --> 00:11:36,350
Son of a bitch.
280
00:11:36,385 --> 00:11:39,886
We just got Tom Sawyer-ed, people.
281
00:11:39,921 --> 00:11:41,855
Oh! [LAUGHS]
282
00:11:41,890 --> 00:11:43,557
The fence-painting scene.
283
00:11:43,592 --> 00:11:45,058
That's a good one.
284
00:11:45,093 --> 00:11:47,494
I'm sure you'll be good
at lifting heavy things.
285
00:11:47,529 --> 00:11:54,801
♪♪
286
00:11:54,837 --> 00:11:55,913
[DOOR OPENS, KNOCK ON DOOR]
287
00:11:55,937 --> 00:11:57,771
Hello?
288
00:11:57,806 --> 00:11:59,539
Thanks for coming.
289
00:12:06,881 --> 00:12:08,881
- I helped.
- Wow, you're really strong.
290
00:12:08,916 --> 00:12:10,293
- Mm-hmm.
- That must have been exhausting.
291
00:12:10,317 --> 00:12:11,395
Would you like to take a seat?
292
00:12:11,419 --> 00:12:14,219
I would. Thanks.
293
00:12:14,255 --> 00:12:16,822
I... I think I will take this chair.
294
00:12:16,858 --> 00:12:18,357
- Mm, yes.
- Yes.
295
00:12:18,393 --> 00:12:19,692
- Very comfortable.
- Mm-hmm.
296
00:12:19,727 --> 00:12:22,361
- Cozy.
- State-of-the-art.
297
00:12:29,003 --> 00:12:31,103
We can do better.
298
00:12:31,138 --> 00:12:32,805
Yeah.
299
00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:37,075
I'm sorry, Iz.
300
00:12:37,111 --> 00:12:38,778
Me, too.
301
00:12:41,882 --> 00:12:44,682
You're really doing it.
302
00:12:44,718 --> 00:12:46,951
Going to the border,
helping all those kids.
303
00:12:46,986 --> 00:12:48,119
It's amazing.
304
00:12:48,154 --> 00:12:49,387
Yeah.
305
00:12:49,423 --> 00:12:51,423
Yeah, I really am.
306
00:12:51,458 --> 00:12:54,091
I always said I would do
something like that after college.
307
00:12:54,127 --> 00:12:55,794
You'll get around to it.
308
00:12:59,299 --> 00:13:01,666
Or...
309
00:13:01,701 --> 00:13:02,834
you could just come with me.
310
00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:05,069
- Stop.
- Not like that.
311
00:13:07,407 --> 00:13:09,574
I'm serious, Izzy.
312
00:13:09,609 --> 00:13:13,044
Look, I mistook compatibility
and companionship for love.
313
00:13:16,282 --> 00:13:17,515
I don't know, you know?
314
00:13:17,551 --> 00:13:20,418
Maybe I'm finally ready.
315
00:13:20,454 --> 00:13:22,686
I hope so.
316
00:13:22,721 --> 00:13:23,754
Probably not.
317
00:13:23,789 --> 00:13:26,757
[BOTH LAUGH]
318
00:13:26,792 --> 00:13:28,725
I hope so.
319
00:13:28,761 --> 00:13:30,261
Yeah.
320
00:13:32,298 --> 00:13:35,232
You know, it would have
been an excellent friendship,
321
00:13:35,268 --> 00:13:37,634
you and me.
322
00:13:37,670 --> 00:13:40,137
Yeah.
323
00:13:40,173 --> 00:13:43,140
Well, on, uh... on that note, um,
324
00:13:43,176 --> 00:13:46,177
Seb doesn't like advice.
325
00:13:46,212 --> 00:13:49,013
- Yeah. Me, either.
- So, um...
326
00:13:49,048 --> 00:13:51,849
♪♪
327
00:13:51,884 --> 00:13:53,117
Uh...
328
00:13:53,152 --> 00:13:55,751
♪ Nobody knows the way ♪
329
00:13:55,787 --> 00:13:57,187
See you later.
330
00:13:57,222 --> 00:13:59,822
Not if I see you first, nerd.
331
00:13:59,858 --> 00:14:01,257
[CHUCKLES]
332
00:14:01,293 --> 00:14:03,460
♪♪
333
00:14:03,495 --> 00:14:06,096
- Good luck.
- Thank you.
334
00:14:06,131 --> 00:14:08,764
- You, too.
- Thanks.
335
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:13,236
♪ We are poets and prophets ♪
336
00:14:13,271 --> 00:14:14,971
♪ Defending what we know ♪
337
00:14:15,007 --> 00:14:16,739
[DOOR SHUTS]
338
00:14:16,774 --> 00:14:20,310
♪ We are pilgrims and pirates ♪
339
00:14:20,345 --> 00:14:21,444
[SIGHS]
340
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:24,414
♪ Sailing from our homes ♪
341
00:14:24,449 --> 00:14:27,783
♪ But nobody knows the way ♪
342
00:14:27,819 --> 00:14:29,252
Thanks.
343
00:14:29,287 --> 00:14:31,988
♪ We just watch the seasons change ♪
344
00:14:32,023 --> 00:14:33,489
♪ And wait for the storm to break ♪
345
00:14:33,525 --> 00:14:35,257
So, how long did you know?
346
00:14:35,292 --> 00:14:38,628
♪ And the land to come ♪
347
00:14:38,663 --> 00:14:40,307
You know, Dad would say
he was going one place,
348
00:14:40,331 --> 00:14:43,032
and then his plane ticket
would say something else.
349
00:14:43,067 --> 00:14:47,003
The weird messages on his office phone.
350
00:14:47,038 --> 00:14:51,240
And then one time, there was, uh...
351
00:14:51,275 --> 00:14:53,543
there was perfume on the...
352
00:14:53,578 --> 00:14:56,512
on his clothes in his suitcase,
and that's when I knew.
353
00:14:58,850 --> 00:15:01,350
You should have told me.
354
00:15:01,385 --> 00:15:02,863
Once shit got real,
you should have told me.
355
00:15:02,887 --> 00:15:04,819
No, I know, and I almost did.
356
00:15:04,855 --> 00:15:06,288
When?
357
00:15:06,323 --> 00:15:07,867
The fight. You know,
you and Mom, the big one.
358
00:15:07,891 --> 00:15:10,526
When she called me a faggot?
359
00:15:10,561 --> 00:15:12,994
Yeah, right after you called her a cunt.
360
00:15:13,030 --> 00:15:15,497
What? No, I didn't.
361
00:15:15,533 --> 00:15:17,366
Did I?
362
00:15:17,401 --> 00:15:19,579
Yeah, you did. You just said the
worst thing you could think of,
363
00:15:19,603 --> 00:15:21,336
and then so did she.
364
00:15:26,243 --> 00:15:28,388
Remember when you were a kid,
you wrote that little essay?
365
00:15:28,412 --> 00:15:30,057
It was an essay about,
like, your greatest influence
366
00:15:30,081 --> 00:15:33,382
or your hero or whatever,
and you chose Dad?
367
00:15:33,417 --> 00:15:35,884
Which made sense.
368
00:15:35,919 --> 00:15:37,252
And then it won that contest,
369
00:15:37,288 --> 00:15:38,288
and it got printed in our local paper.
370
00:15:38,289 --> 00:15:40,020
- Remember that?
- Yeah.
371
00:15:40,056 --> 00:15:41,956
Mom had to hear about that so much.
372
00:15:44,461 --> 00:15:46,194
You know how hard she took that?
373
00:15:51,434 --> 00:15:56,104
I spent my life idolizing
an adulterous asshole.
374
00:16:02,112 --> 00:16:03,889
I don't know. Sometimes
I think about that a lot...
375
00:16:03,913 --> 00:16:06,481
what he did, what happened, and...
376
00:16:06,516 --> 00:16:08,416
I don't know, 12 years, it's...
377
00:16:08,451 --> 00:16:12,086
It's not really an affair, is it?
378
00:16:12,121 --> 00:16:13,720
I guess he fell in love.
379
00:16:13,755 --> 00:16:15,522
Yeah.
380
00:16:15,557 --> 00:16:18,558
I'm not sure that makes
it any better, but...
381
00:16:18,594 --> 00:16:20,427
it's different, right?
382
00:16:20,462 --> 00:16:22,028
Yeah.
383
00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:27,234
You think he would have come back
384
00:16:27,269 --> 00:16:30,770
and lived in the same town as us?
385
00:16:30,805 --> 00:16:31,938
Yeah.
386
00:16:31,973 --> 00:16:33,640
Yeah, I know it.
387
00:16:38,013 --> 00:16:39,946
Thank you.
388
00:16:39,981 --> 00:16:42,315
♪♪
389
00:16:42,351 --> 00:16:45,952
♪ All my life,
I've been wanting to know ♪
390
00:16:45,987 --> 00:16:48,220
♪♪
391
00:16:48,256 --> 00:16:51,090
♪ If it's dangerous out there ♪
392
00:16:51,126 --> 00:16:52,759
I've got big bottles and little bottles.
393
00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:54,961
- Big bottles.
- Oh, I like a big bottle!
394
00:16:54,996 --> 00:16:57,996
- There's only three big bottles.
- We can share.
395
00:16:58,032 --> 00:17:00,010
Now, do you want me to put
all the big bottles out?
396
00:17:00,034 --> 00:17:01,767
Okay, people!
397
00:17:01,802 --> 00:17:04,102
Do you want me to put the
little bottles in the fridge?
398
00:17:04,138 --> 00:17:06,116
- Um, let's keep them out, too.
- [CLEARS THROAT]
399
00:17:06,140 --> 00:17:07,605
- You want them all out?
- Yeah.
400
00:17:07,641 --> 00:17:09,252
The whole place is gonna
be covered in bottles.
401
00:17:09,276 --> 00:17:11,409
Why not? Okay. I won't.
402
00:17:11,444 --> 00:17:13,645
Okay, people. I said, "Okay, people."
403
00:17:13,681 --> 00:17:15,047
- I'm loving this lid. That's...
- Hey!
404
00:17:15,082 --> 00:17:16,214
- Oh, hi!
- Hi!
405
00:17:16,249 --> 00:17:17,382
- Hey.
- Hi.
406
00:17:17,417 --> 00:17:21,053
So, gather round.
407
00:17:21,088 --> 00:17:22,620
Done, I guess.
408
00:17:22,656 --> 00:17:25,057
I just... I would love
a status check, you know,
409
00:17:25,092 --> 00:17:28,726
make sure we're all rowing
in the same direction.
410
00:17:28,761 --> 00:17:30,828
Um, couple quick things.
411
00:17:30,863 --> 00:17:33,130
Uh, blue... Whose idea was that?
412
00:17:33,166 --> 00:17:35,533
So, you ghosted,
413
00:17:35,569 --> 00:17:38,369
but now you're back and feeling bossy.
414
00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:40,004
That's fun. What a fun twist.
415
00:17:40,039 --> 00:17:42,207
Right? Hey, walk with me.
416
00:17:42,242 --> 00:17:45,210
- Let's talk about your plan.
- Okay, yeah, that's a great idea.
417
00:17:45,245 --> 00:17:47,156
'Cause you're kind of,
like, my lieutenant, right?
418
00:17:47,180 --> 00:17:48,313
- Sure.
- Yeah.
419
00:17:48,348 --> 00:17:50,014
So, we have some autumn garland.
420
00:17:50,049 --> 00:17:51,182
I have concerns.
421
00:17:51,218 --> 00:17:53,218
Okay.
422
00:17:53,253 --> 00:17:55,152
What garland?
423
00:17:55,188 --> 00:17:56,554
I don't know.
424
00:17:56,590 --> 00:17:58,888
Maybe it's a little too subtle.
425
00:17:58,924 --> 00:18:01,826
Okay, I would like to talk about
the plan, though, because...
426
00:18:01,860 --> 00:18:04,528
[ALL CHEER, LAUGH]
427
00:18:04,563 --> 00:18:07,464
- Nice one!
- I'll take that.
428
00:18:07,499 --> 00:18:10,967
Lala, I don't... I
don't see any garland.
429
00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:12,202
Uh, whoopsies.
430
00:18:12,238 --> 00:18:15,505
You locked me out.
431
00:18:15,541 --> 00:18:16,840
Lala.
432
00:18:16,875 --> 00:18:19,309
- I can see you.
- [MUFFLED CONVERSATIONS]
433
00:18:19,345 --> 00:18:22,346
Okay.
434
00:18:22,381 --> 00:18:23,547
Let me in!
435
00:18:23,582 --> 00:18:25,482
Troubles?
436
00:18:25,517 --> 00:18:27,884
Yes. The inmates are in
there running the asylum.
437
00:18:27,919 --> 00:18:29,519
What, did they lock you out?
438
00:18:29,555 --> 00:18:31,855
- It's not funny.
- It's a little funny.
439
00:18:31,890 --> 00:18:33,857
What, just give me the keys, Chuckles.
440
00:18:33,892 --> 00:18:35,125
I didn't bring my keys.
441
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:36,525
Fuck.
442
00:18:36,561 --> 00:18:38,427
Ooh. Please tell me you have the keys.
443
00:18:38,463 --> 00:18:40,396
It went great, actually.
Thanks for asking.
444
00:18:40,431 --> 00:18:42,098
Oh, I'm sorry. Are you guys okay?
445
00:18:42,134 --> 00:18:44,834
I think we're more okay
than we've ever been.
446
00:18:44,870 --> 00:18:47,203
Mm. You're welcome.
447
00:18:47,239 --> 00:18:49,705
Mm. Why are we standing
out here on the porch?
448
00:18:49,741 --> 00:18:51,374
- Oh, yeah.
- They locked her out.
449
00:18:51,409 --> 00:18:53,076
She's the boss, the overbearing one now.
450
00:18:53,111 --> 00:18:55,444
I'm the one who binge-watches
sappy network dramas
451
00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:57,881
and gets couple massages
with her best neighbor friend.
452
00:18:57,916 --> 00:18:59,215
Life, man.
453
00:18:59,251 --> 00:19:01,117
[GASPS] Yes! No, no, no, hey, look.
454
00:19:01,153 --> 00:19:02,786
- Hold on.
- What?
455
00:19:02,821 --> 00:19:05,021
- You like it out here?
- I like it just the three of us.
456
00:19:05,056 --> 00:19:06,367
And once we go in there, it's not over
457
00:19:06,391 --> 00:19:07,823
till the last cork is popped.
458
00:19:07,858 --> 00:19:09,392
[CHUCKLES]
459
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,733
All right. Who's with me?
460
00:19:17,769 --> 00:19:19,402
- Always.
- Oh, yeah.
461
00:19:19,437 --> 00:19:21,170
Drinking time.
462
00:19:21,205 --> 00:19:22,405
Come, come.
463
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:23,584
- I'll watch.
- Where should we go?
464
00:19:23,608 --> 00:19:25,240
Uh, I know a place.
465
00:19:25,276 --> 00:19:26,754
[YOUNG SUMMER'S "BLOOD LOVE" PLAYING]
466
00:19:26,778 --> 00:19:31,747
♪ Hunted by desire ♪
467
00:19:31,783 --> 00:19:38,186
♪ Wanna live, so alive ♪
468
00:19:38,221 --> 00:19:43,124
♪ Endless sky to admire ♪
469
00:19:43,159 --> 00:19:49,564
♪ What's together never dies ♪
470
00:19:49,599 --> 00:19:52,467
♪ Fallen into place ♪
471
00:19:52,502 --> 00:19:57,305
♪ While we levitate, it's true ♪
472
00:19:57,341 --> 00:20:02,444
♪ To feel it in my blood love,
head rush ♪
473
00:20:02,479 --> 00:20:04,611
- [CORK POPS]
- Aah!
474
00:20:04,647 --> 00:20:07,448
♪ Never comes back ♪
475
00:20:07,483 --> 00:20:10,317
♪♪
476
00:20:10,353 --> 00:20:12,853
♪ Blood love ♪
477
00:20:12,888 --> 00:20:15,989
♪ Still runs ♪
478
00:20:16,024 --> 00:20:19,025
♪ Never goes black ♪
479
00:20:19,061 --> 00:20:24,064
♪♪
480
00:20:24,099 --> 00:20:26,333
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
481
00:20:34,710 --> 00:20:36,343
Sup?
482
00:20:41,717 --> 00:20:46,986
♪♪
483
00:20:47,021 --> 00:20:49,922
Who's that?
484
00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:51,924
So?
485
00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:53,225
You ready for this?
486
00:20:53,261 --> 00:20:54,927
Oh, which "this" are you referring to?
487
00:20:54,962 --> 00:20:57,040
Because there's a pack of them,
and I think they're breeding.
488
00:20:57,064 --> 00:20:59,265
[CHUCKLES] I'm sorry.
489
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:01,200
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]
490
00:21:01,235 --> 00:21:03,002
Shaun. Mrs. Shaun.
491
00:21:03,037 --> 00:21:04,570
- Hey.
- No, no, no, no.
492
00:21:04,606 --> 00:21:06,038
That has been settled.
493
00:21:06,073 --> 00:21:08,974
The queen is back on
her throne, bitches.
494
00:21:09,010 --> 00:21:10,376
Yeah, well, thanks to me.
495
00:21:10,412 --> 00:21:12,879
Yes. [LAUGHS AWKWARDLY]
496
00:21:12,914 --> 00:21:14,213
Your Highness? Do you want...
497
00:21:14,248 --> 00:21:16,248
- Just go. Go.
- I'm gonna...
498
00:21:16,284 --> 00:21:20,085
[LAUGHING]
499
00:21:20,121 --> 00:21:21,887
You guys enjoying yourselves?
500
00:21:21,923 --> 00:21:24,556
GABE: Yeah, you bet.
501
00:21:24,591 --> 00:21:25,690
Great party.
502
00:21:25,726 --> 00:21:28,027
- It's great.
- Thanks.
503
00:21:28,062 --> 00:21:29,461
Gabe tells me you can't remember
504
00:21:29,496 --> 00:21:31,863
the last time I said "I love you."
505
00:21:31,899 --> 00:21:35,567
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS CONTINUE]
506
00:21:35,602 --> 00:21:38,370
I mean, talk is cheap, right?
507
00:21:38,406 --> 00:21:39,805
Right.
508
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:44,910
♪♪
509
00:21:44,946 --> 00:21:48,280
I love you, Jackson Trakarsky.
510
00:21:48,316 --> 00:21:53,218
Let the record show it was just now.
511
00:21:53,254 --> 00:21:54,954
[CHUCKLES] Jesus, Jackson,
512
00:21:54,989 --> 00:21:56,322
don't be a pussy about it.
513
00:21:56,357 --> 00:21:59,091
- [CHUCKLES]
- [SIGHS]
514
00:21:59,126 --> 00:22:04,195
♪♪
515
00:22:04,230 --> 00:22:09,367
♪♪
516
00:22:09,402 --> 00:22:11,802
[SNIFFLES] I love you, too, Mom.
517
00:22:11,838 --> 00:22:14,945
♪♪
518
00:22:30,190 --> 00:22:31,655
Um...
519
00:22:31,691 --> 00:22:33,657
just a sec.
520
00:22:33,693 --> 00:22:36,627
Nathan.
521
00:22:36,662 --> 00:22:37,828
What are you doing here?
522
00:22:37,864 --> 00:22:40,698
Just... can we, uh... can we talk?
523
00:22:40,733 --> 00:22:42,700
In private.
524
00:22:42,735 --> 00:22:45,135
Uh, it won't take long.
525
00:22:45,170 --> 00:22:48,005
♪♪
526
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:49,640
It's not up to us.
527
00:22:49,675 --> 00:22:51,542
I'll just be a second.
528
00:22:51,577 --> 00:22:58,348
♪♪
529
00:23:05,190 --> 00:23:06,657
Izzy.
530
00:23:06,692 --> 00:23:08,458
Izzy.
531
00:23:08,494 --> 00:23:10,338
- Will you slow the fuck down?
- What the hell do you think
532
00:23:10,362 --> 00:23:12,596
you're doing, showing up
like this, making it seem like
533
00:23:12,632 --> 00:23:15,432
we're wrapped up in
some big, stupid romance?
534
00:23:15,467 --> 00:23:16,799
Hold on. I... I didn't come here...
535
00:23:16,835 --> 00:23:18,146
What the hell am I
supposed to say to them
536
00:23:18,170 --> 00:23:19,636
when I go back in there, huh?
537
00:23:19,671 --> 00:23:21,304
How am I supposed to make them believe
538
00:23:21,340 --> 00:23:22,850
- that we never fucking did anything?
- I didn't... I...
539
00:23:22,874 --> 00:23:25,842
I didn't come here to
sweep you off your feet.
540
00:23:25,877 --> 00:23:27,544
I came here as your friend,
541
00:23:27,579 --> 00:23:30,680
because I don't take that role lightly.
542
00:23:30,715 --> 00:23:33,683
But I do want you to
leave with me right now.
543
00:23:33,718 --> 00:23:35,285
What?
544
00:23:35,320 --> 00:23:37,887
I spoke to the IRC
supervisor down in Otay Mesa,
545
00:23:37,923 --> 00:23:40,001
and I told her about you, and
she said to bring you along,
546
00:23:40,025 --> 00:23:41,736
that she would interview
you right on the spot.
547
00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:44,027
So, we're just gonna
make a run for the border
548
00:23:44,063 --> 00:23:45,673
when I'm supposed to
be signing the papers?
549
00:23:45,697 --> 00:23:47,263
They could lose the house, Nathan!
550
00:23:47,298 --> 00:23:49,009
You seriously think that I'm
just gonna leave with you?
551
00:23:49,033 --> 00:23:50,599
- [LAUGHS]
- What?
552
00:23:50,634 --> 00:23:52,212
Right before you're "supposed
to" sign the papers, Iz.
553
00:23:52,236 --> 00:23:54,415
Oh, my God. Really?
You know what? Fuck you, Nathan.
554
00:23:54,439 --> 00:23:55,938
Do you think this is what friends do?
555
00:23:55,973 --> 00:23:57,406
Because my real fr... my best friend
556
00:23:57,442 --> 00:23:59,241
is in there supporting me.
557
00:23:59,277 --> 00:24:00,477
Well, friends don't let friends
558
00:24:00,511 --> 00:24:02,478
do monumentally stupid shit, Izzy.
559
00:24:02,513 --> 00:24:04,313
Nina's letting you down.
560
00:24:04,348 --> 00:24:06,348
You are un-fucking-believable.
561
00:24:06,384 --> 00:24:08,217
Get off my property. Now.
562
00:24:08,252 --> 00:24:10,519
- [LAUGHS]
- What?
563
00:24:10,555 --> 00:24:12,221
What?
564
00:24:12,256 --> 00:24:16,559
Iz, you can sign a million contracts,
565
00:24:16,594 --> 00:24:21,596
and this will always be the
home of Jack and Emma Trakarsky.
566
00:24:21,631 --> 00:24:24,399
You can tattoo your name on those twins,
567
00:24:24,434 --> 00:24:27,102
and they will always be the
children of Jack and Emma...
568
00:24:36,379 --> 00:24:37,612
Izzy.
569
00:24:37,647 --> 00:24:39,214
Izzy!
570
00:24:39,249 --> 00:24:42,217
God damn it!
571
00:24:42,252 --> 00:24:45,487
Izzy, I'm sorry.
572
00:24:45,522 --> 00:24:48,456
You're not my fucking friend.
573
00:24:48,492 --> 00:24:50,458
[DOOR SLAMS]
574
00:24:50,494 --> 00:24:52,660
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS, MUFFLED]
575
00:24:54,664 --> 00:24:57,431
[YOUNG SUMMER'S "TAKEN" PLAYING]
576
00:24:57,466 --> 00:25:02,769
♪♪
577
00:25:02,804 --> 00:25:05,405
♪ I find it strange, find it strange ♪
578
00:25:05,441 --> 00:25:09,243
♪ That you're wondering in this place ♪
579
00:25:09,278 --> 00:25:11,945
♪♪
580
00:25:11,980 --> 00:25:14,581
♪ I thought it'd change,
thought it'd change ♪
581
00:25:14,617 --> 00:25:18,485
♪ But the more it stays the same ♪
582
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,000
_
583
00:25:21,001 --> 00:25:27,735
♪ Which one of us will look away? ♪
584
00:25:30,165 --> 00:25:36,902
♪ Say the words that we don't say? ♪
585
00:25:40,041 --> 00:25:49,282
♪ Have I been taken by
you one more ti-i-i-me? ♪
586
00:25:49,317 --> 00:25:50,616
♪ My, my ♪
587
00:25:50,652 --> 00:25:52,151
I love you guys so much.
588
00:25:52,187 --> 00:25:54,353
[ALL CHUCKLE]
589
00:25:54,389 --> 00:25:56,322
- We love you, too.
- EMMA: We love you.
590
00:25:56,357 --> 00:25:58,524
♪ Eyes ♪
591
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:01,093
♪ Have I ♪
592
00:26:01,128 --> 00:26:03,261
[VOICE BREAKING] But, um...
593
00:26:03,297 --> 00:26:06,130
♪♪
594
00:26:06,166 --> 00:26:08,400
I can't do this.
595
00:26:31,157 --> 00:26:35,527
♪ I know that we don't see it the same ♪
596
00:26:35,562 --> 00:26:37,728
♪♪
597
00:26:37,763 --> 00:26:42,333
♪ There's just nothing
left for me here ♪
598
00:26:42,368 --> 00:26:44,801
♪♪
599
00:26:44,837 --> 00:26:49,873
♪ Loving is a perilous game ♪
600
00:26:49,908 --> 00:26:56,913
♪ So I run ♪
601
00:26:56,949 --> 00:27:00,350
♪ Oh, I run ♪
602
00:27:00,500 --> 00:27:05,500
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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