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1
00:00:01,801 --> 00:00:04,303
[grunting]
2
00:00:04,305 --> 00:00:05,704
You guys are really going
to regret this
3
00:00:05,706 --> 00:00:06,872
When it's cleanup time.
4
00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:14,079
[crowd shouting]
[cans clattering]
5
00:00:14,081 --> 00:00:15,814
Who throws a sink?
6
00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:18,050
Who carries a sink
for the purpose of throwing?
7
00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:21,386
[coughing]
really? Bug spray?
8
00:00:25,925 --> 00:00:29,895
No, I'm not in a zombie flick
where they want my brains.
9
00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:33,098
It's worse.
It's spider-man
versus new york.
10
00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:34,499
You heard me, good citizens.
11
00:00:34,501 --> 00:00:36,401
Daily bugle communications
12
00:00:36,403 --> 00:00:38,337
Will hand $10 million
13
00:00:38,339 --> 00:00:41,506
To the first personto unmask spider-man.
14
00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:42,808
[crowd clamoring]
15
00:00:45,912 --> 00:00:48,347
Come on, new york.
You're better than this.
16
00:00:48,349 --> 00:00:49,848
Remember all those times
17
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,116
When I did something
really awesome
18
00:00:51,118 --> 00:00:53,118
That saved you
and your personal property
19
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,653
From someone really evil
20
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:56,021
And you were all relieved
and junk?
21
00:00:56,023 --> 00:00:58,657
[crickets chirping]
22
00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:00,359
[clamoring]
23
00:01:01,361 --> 00:01:03,595
Greed, one.
Gratitude, zip.
24
00:01:05,465 --> 00:01:06,665
Fyi,
25
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,066
This is supposed to be
the first day
26
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,434
Of a nice long weekend,
27
00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:11,370
But no.
28
00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:13,472
[school bell rings]
29
00:01:13,474 --> 00:01:14,840
S.H.I.E.L.D. Is sending us
30
00:01:14,842 --> 00:01:17,509
To uber-adventure water palace
for a little vay-cay.
31
00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:20,011
It's the sickest, wettest,
slippiest water park
32
00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:21,146
In the whole world.
33
00:01:21,148 --> 00:01:23,849
I like slippy.
34
00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:25,751
Oh, why do I have to memorize
these books
35
00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:28,553
On S.H.I.E.L.D. Strategy
and team dynamics?
36
00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:30,589
Don't forget
eye on the prize,
37
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,524
Director fury's
official biography.
38
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,025
You're the leader, parker.
39
00:01:34,027 --> 00:01:35,460
Leaders don't get slippy.
40
00:01:35,462 --> 00:01:37,629
They work hard
for the good of the team.
41
00:01:37,631 --> 00:01:41,133
Last one in
is a spider's egg!
Ha-ha!
42
00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:42,467
[sighs]
43
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:46,905
Aunt may?
Where are you going?
44
00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:48,707
Great aunt julia
broke her arms
45
00:01:48,709 --> 00:01:50,409
In a water-skiing accident.
46
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:52,077
She needs me to look
after her for a few days.
47
00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:54,479
Isn't she, like, 105?
48
00:01:54,481 --> 00:01:55,614
Where was she water-skiing?
49
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,482
Uber-adventure water palace.
50
00:01:57,484 --> 00:01:58,984
It's supposed to be wonderful.
51
00:02:03,556 --> 00:02:07,559
So I'm alone, drowning
in S.H.I.E.L.D. Homework,
and hunted.
52
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:09,795
"unappreciated" pretty much
sums it up.
53
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,730
Extra! Extra!
Read all about it!
54
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:13,565
Who says
"extra, extra" anymore?
55
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:16,201
Mayor of boston offers
spider-man key to the city
56
00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:18,503
If he relocates to beantown.
57
00:02:18,505 --> 00:02:19,538
Boston?
58
00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:20,906
At least someone appreciates
59
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:22,207
My unique blend of witty banter
60
00:02:22,209 --> 00:02:23,542
And crime-fighting panache.
61
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:25,544
[man]
heh-heh, gotcha.
62
00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:26,545
A butterfly net?
63
00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:28,046
This is just insulting.
64
00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:29,514
You know what, new york?
65
00:02:29,516 --> 00:02:31,550
I'm finished
with the big crabapple.
66
00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:33,218
I'm moving to a city who
wants what I have to offer.
67
00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:35,053
What do you have to say
about that, huh?
68
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,055
Take off your mask
before you go?
69
00:02:37,057 --> 00:02:39,224
Daddy needs
an epad thingamajig.
70
00:02:39,226 --> 00:02:41,493
Oh, I'd tell you
where to stuff those cameras,
71
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,228
But I was raised
better than that.
72
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:46,765
Instead, boston,
here comes spider-man.
73
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:06,952
"boston needs its own hero,
and that hero is spider-man."
74
00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:09,154
I couldn't agree more,
mr. Mayor of boston,
75
00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:10,755
Whose name
I will learn eventually.
76
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:13,658
At least I'm free
for the weekend.
77
00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:14,726
Can't just ditch everyone,
78
00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,828
Even though
they all ditched me.
79
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:20,665
Wow, "new home
of the amazing spider-man."
80
00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:22,934
Best idea in history.
81
00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:25,203
[crowd chanting]
spider-man. Spider-man...
82
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,875
Whoa, this is huge.
83
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,743
I don't think
I'm ready for this.
84
00:03:31,745 --> 00:03:33,645
Eh, think schmink.
85
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:34,846
Look at them,
they love you.
86
00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:37,082
Yeah, it's true.
Go get 'em, tiger.
87
00:03:37,084 --> 00:03:39,718
Did both of you just agree
with me?
88
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,052
Yeah, I could do this.
89
00:03:43,656 --> 00:03:46,892
[crowd cheering]
90
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:49,127
You wanted me,
you got me, boston.
91
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:50,996
Ladies and gentlemen,
92
00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:54,566
I give you boston's
very own superhero,
93
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,801
The amazing arachnid,
94
00:03:56,803 --> 00:03:59,838
Spidah-man!
95
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:02,240
It's "spider-man," sir.
96
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,909
There's an "r"
in the middle.
97
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,844
Spidah-man.
That's what I said.
98
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:07,212
Spider-man.
99
00:04:07,214 --> 00:04:09,648
Right, spidah-man.
100
00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:11,583
Der.
Dah.
101
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,851
Der.
102
00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:16,888
You want the key to the city
or not, chucklehead?
103
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:17,789
Yes, I do.
104
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:21,760
[crowd cheering]
105
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,929
Spidah-man, a few words?
106
00:04:29,569 --> 00:04:31,836
I have to say something
that inspires greatness
107
00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:34,606
But at the same time
is humble and modest.
108
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:35,807
Ah, of course.
109
00:04:35,809 --> 00:04:37,809
To my new boston besties,
110
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,311
New york stinks!
111
00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:42,047
[crowd chanting]
spider-man! Spider-man...
112
00:04:42,049 --> 00:04:44,115
[spider-man]
I just want to be clear here.
113
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,084
This is on a trial basis,
okay?
114
00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,919
Of course, but trust me.
115
00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:49,888
You're gonna love boston.
116
00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:52,824
The best part is we ain't got
any super villains, none.
117
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:54,626
If you don't have
any super villains,
118
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:55,961
Why do you want--
119
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,862
Money, sonny.
120
00:04:57,864 --> 00:05:00,165
Superhero is great for business.
121
00:05:00,167 --> 00:05:01,866
Wicked, right?
122
00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:03,168
All the additional revenue
123
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:04,302
Allows the city to afford
124
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,337
Tons of improvements,
125
00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:10,208
And this-- the spider cave.
126
00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:12,143
[spider-man]
spidey copter?
127
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,979
Spidey tank?
128
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:17,082
Spidey inline skates
and pogo stick?
129
00:05:18,884 --> 00:05:20,986
My own semi-secret lair?
130
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:23,622
It's beautiful.
131
00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:26,257
I never felt so appreciated
in all my life.
132
00:05:26,259 --> 00:05:30,028
Sorry, I promised myself
I wouldn't get boogers
in the mask.
133
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:32,197
What super lair
would be complete
134
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:34,332
Without your very own
personal butler?
135
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,769
Huh, spidah?
Meet charles.
136
00:05:37,771 --> 00:05:39,037
What's up, chuck?
137
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,238
[chuckles]
up-chuck.
138
00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:43,041
Some boston baked beans, sir.
139
00:05:43,043 --> 00:05:45,710
[flatulence]
perhaps some cream pie.
140
00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:47,178
Together? Ew, pass,
141
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,714
Or I really will upchuck,
chuck.
142
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:50,949
[sighs]
143
00:05:53,953 --> 00:05:55,954
I can't believe you did
all this for me.
144
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:58,189
At least you stopped short
of getting me a sidekick.
145
00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,958
That might've been creepy.
146
00:06:03,295 --> 00:06:04,796
He's right behind me,
isn't he?
147
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,998
No, because then I'd be
a behind-kick.
148
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,099
[shrieks]
149
00:06:10,803 --> 00:06:11,803
Ow.
150
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:14,072
Meet ollie osnick,
151
00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:16,041
Boston's
most brilliant high schooler
152
00:06:16,043 --> 00:06:18,276
And expert
on all things superhero.
153
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:20,045
It was his idea to bring
you to boston,
154
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:23,314
And he created
all these amazing gadgets.
155
00:06:23,316 --> 00:06:25,717
Wicked genius,
this kid.
156
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,052
I have dreamt of this day
157
00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,853
Since I first saw you soaring
158
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:31,156
Above the cold concrete canyons
of manhattan.
159
00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:32,691
I know everything about you,
160
00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:33,992
All your moves, style.
161
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:37,028
Webby will not let you down,
sir.
162
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,763
Webby?
163
00:06:38,765 --> 00:06:41,966
Yeah.
No, you don't like it.
Okay, noted.
164
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:44,402
How about spider-lad?
Arachni-boy?
165
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:46,371
Little thwipper.
Thwip, thwip, thwip, thwip.
166
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:47,806
I made a long list.
167
00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:55,180
Most awkward.
168
00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:56,948
Well, he's clearly a genius,
169
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:59,050
And he has great taste
in superheroes,
170
00:06:59,052 --> 00:07:00,385
But a sidekick?
171
00:07:00,387 --> 00:07:03,221
I hate to do this, but...
172
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:06,391
Ollie, son, you've done
incredible work here.
173
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:08,293
You have a true gift,
174
00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:11,096
But being a superhero
is dangerous business,
175
00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,031
Especially if you don't
have powers.
176
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:14,299
I'm sorry, but--
177
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:17,969
B-b-b-but your life
is so wicked awesome.
178
00:07:17,971 --> 00:07:20,805
It's all I ever wanted.
Everything I did I did
for you.
179
00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:22,507
You heard him, kid.
No sidekicks.
180
00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:25,043
We'll get in touch with you
when the cave needs a tune-up.
181
00:07:25,045 --> 00:07:28,146
Wait. I was going to say
there's other ways he can help.
182
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:29,881
Oh, osnick will be fine.
183
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:33,051
Come on, I want to show you
the spider clam boat.
184
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:34,953
Then you can start work.
[chuckles]
185
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,755
[grumbles]
186
00:07:41,193 --> 00:07:44,796
My purse!
He stole my purse!
187
00:07:53,272 --> 00:07:54,339
[laughing]
188
00:07:56,342 --> 00:07:58,009
[gasps]
189
00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,144
Whoa!
190
00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:09,420
We don't want
his insurance to go up.
Do we, officer?
191
00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:11,156
Wait a minute.
192
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,791
Police. Freeze!
193
00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:15,527
Boston is beautiful.
194
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:16,961
Spider-man--
195
00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:18,797
I can't think of a more
stalwart,
196
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:20,899
Upstanding,
and wondrous creature.
197
00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:23,134
[alarm blaring]
198
00:08:24,203 --> 00:08:26,204
[man]
thief! Guards!
199
00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:33,511
[spider-man]
pop fly coming your way.
200
00:08:39,585 --> 00:08:41,820
Spidey's on the clock,
fellas.
201
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:44,856
Spider-man is our new
hometown hero.
202
00:08:52,097 --> 00:08:53,064
[scream]
203
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:55,366
[web stretches]
204
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,434
Huh?
205
00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:12,417
It's for you.
206
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:14,485
The bank says there's a penalty
for early withdrawal.
207
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,421
[groans]
208
00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:20,091
How funny is it that you ran
past the last phone booth
in existence?
209
00:09:20,093 --> 00:09:21,593
That joke wouldn't have been
half as good
210
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:23,261
If I just threw my cell phone
at your head.
211
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:25,430
[crowd chanting]
spidey! Spidey...
212
00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:30,134
[giggles]
213
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:32,270
Let's hear for spider-man,
214
00:09:32,272 --> 00:09:36,374
The solution to boston's
every menace.
215
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:39,277
Mm, I'm having the time
of my life, chuck.
216
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,212
Too bad it can't last.
217
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:41,212
I really have to get back.
218
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:45,049
My team must be falling apart.
219
00:09:55,227 --> 00:09:57,996
Plus I have this aunt who can
barely get on without me.
220
00:09:57,998 --> 00:09:59,130
[sighs]
221
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:01,266
[cell phone rings]
hello.
222
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:04,002
Peter? I'm sorry
to do this to you,
223
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:06,437
But aunt julia asked me
to stay a few days longer.
224
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,438
The poor dear.
225
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,240
A few days?
226
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:10,408
Oh, wicked awesome.
227
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,911
I mean, no problem.
Later.
228
00:10:17,416 --> 00:10:20,218
Good-bye, guilt.
Hello, day two.
229
00:10:21,153 --> 00:10:23,154
Good morning, boston.
230
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,456
Morning, spider-man.
High-five.
231
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,624
Yay!
Yay!
232
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:30,161
Whatta you got for me today?
233
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:32,931
Dog napping?
Jaywalking with intent
to litter?
234
00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:35,166
Hm?
235
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:38,136
Ow!
The villains are coming!
The villains are coming!
236
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,104
Spider sense must be
on the fritz.
237
00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:41,406
There are no villains in--
238
00:10:44,276 --> 00:10:45,510
We told you so.
239
00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:47,111
Apparently you did.
240
00:10:50,215 --> 00:10:52,183
Welcome to boston, spider-man.
241
00:10:52,185 --> 00:10:55,219
Say hello to the boston
terror-iers.
242
00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:57,622
What?
[growling]
243
00:10:57,624 --> 00:10:59,223
Boston terriers?
244
00:10:59,225 --> 00:11:01,993
An evil pun.
I knew this was
too good to be true.
245
00:11:08,033 --> 00:11:09,968
I'm the plymouth rocket,
246
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,970
And I rock the house.
247
00:11:11,972 --> 00:11:13,271
And spiders.
248
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:15,974
You may call me salem's witch.
249
00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:18,042
I'll put a hex on you.
250
00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:20,278
And I am slam adams.
251
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,580
I...Slam stuff.
252
00:11:22,582 --> 00:11:24,449
Together we are the...
253
00:11:25,684 --> 00:11:28,219
Boston terror-iers.
You opened with that.
254
00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:29,454
Usually it's
the other way around.
255
00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:31,222
Just saying.
256
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:33,624
Look, my butler's keeping
some chowder warm for me,
257
00:11:33,626 --> 00:11:35,994
So can we skip to where
you just surrender?
258
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:37,395
You're obviously new at this.
259
00:11:42,334 --> 00:11:44,469
Sorry, I meant "surrenduh."
260
00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:46,137
I cannot get this accent--
261
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:52,343
Boston went from no super
villains to three over night?
262
00:11:52,345 --> 00:11:54,379
That's a little convenient.
263
00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:06,691
Whoa!
264
00:12:08,527 --> 00:12:10,294
Nice catch, boston.
265
00:12:10,296 --> 00:12:12,397
Nothing like my old home crowd.
266
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:13,431
[screams]
267
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,467
I'm walkin' here.
268
00:12:18,737 --> 00:12:20,271
This isn't the plan.
269
00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:21,739
Life is supposed to be
better here,
270
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,408
And I'm getting
my webs handed to me
271
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,442
By a pirate, a schoolteacher,
272
00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:26,310
And a boulder-headed pilgrim.
273
00:12:30,783 --> 00:12:32,550
These guys are clueless,
274
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:35,053
But someone
armored them up good.
275
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:37,155
Maybe chuck can activate
some of my new spidah-tech
276
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:38,322
And send it my way.
277
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:39,557
Sorry. There's
an "r" in there.
278
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:43,327
Yo, chuck, I need
bostony butler backup.
279
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:45,797
[grunting]
280
00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:48,699
It's so hard to find
good help in this business.
281
00:12:58,644 --> 00:13:01,345
[wristwatch beeping]
finally. Chuck, I need you to--
282
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:04,082
You need to watch what you're
smashing, mr. Spidah.
283
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:05,550
Spidah stock sales
can only salvage
284
00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:07,418
So much of my city.
285
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,587
Sorry,
comes with the territory.
286
00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:19,097
[plymouth rocket]
hey, no fair!
287
00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,432
You're right.
Three against one
isn't fair.
288
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:23,334
Batter up.
289
00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:26,504
That should teach
you guys not to mess
290
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:29,140
With boston's
one and only superhero.
291
00:13:30,109 --> 00:13:31,576
Not done yet,
pilgrim.
292
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:34,145
Pilgrim? Paul revere
had nothing to do
with the pilgrims.
293
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,414
Well, maybe you should pay
better attention
in history class
294
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,850
If you want your spider sense
to be historically accurate.
295
00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:44,388
[clangs]
296
00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:48,259
For example, the liberty bell
is in philadelphia.
297
00:13:48,261 --> 00:13:49,460
Ow.
298
00:13:53,298 --> 00:13:54,599
The name's steel spider,
299
00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:56,868
And you are about to be
proven obsolete.
300
00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:59,270
This is my home town.
301
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:00,505
Boston needs a real hero,
302
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:01,506
Not a rented one.
303
00:14:03,775 --> 00:14:05,877
Go back to where you belong,
spider-man.
304
00:14:05,879 --> 00:14:07,612
This city doesn't need you.
305
00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:11,149
Au contraire, copybot.
306
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:13,217
With creeps like you
tearing things up,
307
00:14:13,219 --> 00:14:16,387
Boston really needs
their beloved spider-man.
308
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:18,422
Everyone, move away from here.
309
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:20,391
Now.
310
00:14:25,664 --> 00:14:28,533
Glad to see you're feeling
better, evil librarian.
311
00:14:30,435 --> 00:14:32,203
She's a witch.
312
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,437
He's a patriot.
313
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:35,573
I'm a national landmark.
314
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:36,507
Pay attention.
315
00:14:36,509 --> 00:14:38,609
If you stop hitting me,
316
00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,578
I'll brush up on my
villain's guide to boston,
317
00:14:40,580 --> 00:14:42,213
Pinkie swear.
318
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:43,915
Before you say good-bye,
319
00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:46,651
I want you to say hello
to my friends.
320
00:14:48,353 --> 00:14:51,622
Huh? Hey, I threw you all
in jail yesterday.
321
00:14:51,624 --> 00:14:53,824
Or was that a dream?
322
00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:56,761
Everything's sort of fuzzy
and in a boston accent.
323
00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:58,863
[steel spider]
I broke them out of prison
last night
324
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:01,465
And fitted them
with the latest technology.
325
00:15:01,467 --> 00:15:02,633
But why?
326
00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:04,302
Why would you do that?
327
00:15:04,304 --> 00:15:06,637
Because they're
the only people in boston
328
00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:08,706
Who hate you as much as I do.
329
00:15:10,475 --> 00:15:13,211
No one
likes to be unappreciated.
330
00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:15,680
Exactly why I hate sidekicks.
331
00:15:20,852 --> 00:15:22,787
Maybe my short-term memory
is shorting out,
332
00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:25,823
But didn't you want to be
a superhero less
than 24 hours ago?
333
00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:29,860
I did until you threw me aside
like day-old chowder.
334
00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:32,830
Ollie, I told you that this is
a dangerous business
335
00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:34,232
And I didn't want you
getting hurt.
336
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:35,433
Right, right, right,
337
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:36,567
I wasn't good enough,
338
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:38,903
But my cave, my tech,
339
00:15:38,905 --> 00:15:41,839
My butler,
and my city sure were.
340
00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:44,375
Your being here
is all because of me,
341
00:15:44,377 --> 00:15:46,911
And you didn't even say
thank you.
342
00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:47,812
You're right.
343
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:49,413
You went to the mat for me,
344
00:15:49,415 --> 00:15:51,616
But I got so caught up
in that new-life smell
345
00:15:51,618 --> 00:15:53,851
That I didn't even stop
to say thanks.
346
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:54,952
I'm sorry.
347
00:15:58,857 --> 00:16:00,691
If we hit "quit game"
right now
348
00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:02,260
And stop tearing up beantown,
349
00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:03,461
I'm sure we can fix this.
350
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,930
Because, you know,
you're right.
351
00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:07,465
I don't really want to be bad.
352
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,866
I just want to, you know...
353
00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:10,868
Be you.
354
00:16:10,870 --> 00:16:12,470
That's crazy.
355
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,338
This is all about you feeling
unappreciated,
356
00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:15,439
And here I totally thought
357
00:16:15,441 --> 00:16:17,008
You guys were looking to claim
358
00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:20,278
The $10 million reward j.J.J.
Was offering to unmask me.
359
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:22,680
[together]
$10 million!
360
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:24,815
All we gotta do is unmask him?
361
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,784
You didn't tell us that.
362
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,719
You don't get
new york news up here?
363
00:16:28,721 --> 00:16:30,788
Oh, man, I love boston.
364
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:32,456
That's not what we agreed to.
365
00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:33,724
I am your leader.
366
00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:35,359
You will stand down.
367
00:16:35,361 --> 00:16:37,862
No, you'll bow down!
368
00:16:42,367 --> 00:16:43,801
[screaming]
369
00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:44,869
Ollie!
370
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,007
The spider hover board.
371
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,710
That's a mouthful.
372
00:16:52,712 --> 00:16:54,645
Told you this gig
was dangerous.
373
00:16:54,647 --> 00:16:57,548
Thanks for the assist, chuck.
You saved my webs.
374
00:16:57,550 --> 00:17:00,951
It would've been sooner hadollie not tied me up.
375
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:03,821
I trust the hover board
reached you in time, sir.
376
00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:05,890
Couldn't have beenmore perfect timing, chuck.
377
00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:07,391
Take the rest of the day off.
378
00:17:07,393 --> 00:17:10,895
I am so sorry.
I really messed things up.
379
00:17:10,897 --> 00:17:13,030
I didn't mean for things
to get so out of hand.
380
00:17:13,965 --> 00:17:15,733
Do we have a plan b?
381
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:18,502
Yes, I built shutoff switches
into everyone's armor
382
00:17:18,504 --> 00:17:19,637
In case they got out of hand.
383
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:21,339
What is it, like a code word
384
00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:22,873
Or you press a button
on your glove?
385
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,842
I didn't want it to be
that easy.
386
00:17:32,984 --> 00:17:36,420
But in retrospect,
easy would've been better.
Noted.
387
00:17:36,422 --> 00:17:38,789
We'll deal.
Where are the off switches?
388
00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:40,624
[whispers]
389
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:42,660
There is something
not quite right with you,
ollie.
390
00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:44,528
Sweet, but not quite right.
391
00:17:46,898 --> 00:17:49,567
Don't say that.
I can still make it right.
392
00:17:52,371 --> 00:17:54,939
[ollie]steel spider, to me!
393
00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:56,374
What?
394
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:02,980
Don't just stand there, webby,
395
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:04,048
Come kick some side with me,
396
00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:05,383
But be careful.
397
00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:10,488
Webby? Call me
the steel spider.
398
00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:22,967
Stand still, you geek!
399
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:36,514
[steel spider]
uh, spider-man.
400
00:18:42,721 --> 00:18:45,189
Deactivating you is the pits.
401
00:18:45,191 --> 00:18:46,991
[giggles]
402
00:18:53,932 --> 00:18:56,467
Do you know what we could do
with 10 mil?
403
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,003
Send everyone to boston
funny-accent class?
404
00:19:03,575 --> 00:19:04,708
I got this one.
405
00:19:07,979 --> 00:19:09,880
No, I can't move.
406
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:11,081
Traitor!
407
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:13,818
Two down.
408
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:18,889
Good. That means more green
for the rocker.
409
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,659
It all comes down to
this is our hero slides
into home plate.
410
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:24,728
And the end.
411
00:19:26,131 --> 00:19:28,165
I told you he was a sick puppy.
412
00:19:29,201 --> 00:19:30,501
Nice work.
413
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:31,569
Next time--
414
00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:33,070
Voice-activated shutoff.
415
00:19:33,072 --> 00:19:34,672
Very seriously noted.
416
00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:36,941
Yeah, and we talk
about our feelings
417
00:19:36,943 --> 00:19:39,076
Instead of creating super
villains when we're angry.
418
00:19:39,078 --> 00:19:42,580
[groans]
that, too.
419
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:46,484
[plymouth rock]
is anyone else having problems
in the moving department?
420
00:19:51,623 --> 00:19:54,058
[steel spider]
so what happens now?
421
00:19:54,060 --> 00:19:56,060
Depends.
422
00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:58,562
Either you sucker punch me,
and this adventure runs long,
423
00:19:58,564 --> 00:20:01,165
Or you learn to do
the right thing
424
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:03,734
Even when people don't always
appreciate you.
425
00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:07,204
And we call this the origin
story of boston's first
homegrown superhero.
426
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:10,741
Really?
I thought I was too young.
427
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:12,176
[clears throat]
428
00:20:12,178 --> 00:20:14,979
You're about as old as I was
when I started this gig.
429
00:20:14,981 --> 00:20:17,581
And you handled yourself
better than I did.
430
00:20:17,583 --> 00:20:19,884
But boston loves you.
431
00:20:19,886 --> 00:20:21,652
The grass may look greener
in boston,
432
00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:24,088
But it's still my crazy life.
433
00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:25,623
Leaving new york
434
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:27,124
Means I turn my back
on my family, friends,
435
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:29,293
And a city
that really needs me
436
00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:32,730
Even if they don't realize it.
437
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,099
[j. Jonah jameson]I had no choice butto rescind my reward
438
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:36,734
For spider-man's unmasking,
439
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,068
Which has absolutelynothing to do
440
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,670
With any allegedratings decline
441
00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:41,071
While spider-manwas in boston.
442
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:44,074
Only new york can handlea menace like spider-man.
443
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:46,143
[chuckles]
what a hero.
444
00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:47,278
[cell phone rings]
445
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,879
Aunt may, you home yet?
446
00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:50,180
Yeah, I just walked in.
447
00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:53,217
I missed you terribly, peter,
and to be honest,
448
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:55,119
Great aunt julia
really got on my nerves.
449
00:20:55,121 --> 00:20:56,253
Chinese for dinner?
450
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,988
Anything but clam chowder.
451
00:20:57,990 --> 00:20:59,990
I'll be home in a few.
452
00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:01,692
But I missed you guys
most of all.
453
00:21:01,694 --> 00:21:04,128
Please tell me someone
recorded him saying that.
454
00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:06,764
Sure looked like you were
having a party
over there in boston.
455
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:09,166
You had us worried
you weren't coming back.
456
00:21:10,869 --> 00:21:12,770
As your leader,
457
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:15,072
It's important you know
how much I appreciate
every one of you.
458
00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:17,942
Coulson needs to give you
more homework.
459
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:20,244
Extra! Mayor of boston
460
00:21:20,246 --> 00:21:23,614
Proclaims steel spider
the city's newest hero.
461
00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,349
Awards key to the city.
462
00:21:25,351 --> 00:21:26,617
Extra!
463
00:21:26,619 --> 00:21:28,052
Wicked awesome.
464
00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:31,255
It's a boston thing.
465
00:21:31,257 --> 00:21:32,156
So is this.
466
00:21:32,158 --> 00:21:34,091
To me, my sidekicks!
467
00:21:34,093 --> 00:21:35,759
[together]
sidekicks?
32868
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