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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:23,764 "Marketing 101 2 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:28,447 if you live in any major city, 3 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:30,568 you see 800 ads a day. 4 00:00:30,720 --> 00:00:33,087 In most of them, models are going to be looking at you 5 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:35,208 - like they want to fuck you. 6 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:38,091 You're so used to this that you don't even notice it anymore, 7 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:39,844 but your body does. 8 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,445 Your heart rate increases, 9 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:44,484 your pupils dilate, you breathe faster... 10 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:46,563 you become more alert. 11 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:49,121 You've been tapped. 12 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,442 Looking at a billboard is supposed to feel 13 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:53,250 like love at first sight. 14 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:56,290 But it's not real. It's just marketing. 15 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:57,930 And without that, 16 00:00:58,120 --> 00:00:59,610 you wouldn't even know who you are. 17 00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:03,767 You see, the first thing you learn in business school 18 00:01:03,920 --> 00:01:07,527 is that you need to market yourself before the ads do it for you. 19 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:09,921 Which is why they teach you to pick a new name... 20 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:11,844 brand yourself and become the product 21 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:14,401 - that you're trying to sell. - Your name's Scat? 22 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:15,971 Yeah, my name's Scat. 23 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:18,361 A name he chose because it was closely associated 24 00:01:18,520 --> 00:01:21,922 - with jazz, beat poetry and... - Animal shit. 25 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:25,801 N... like jazz. It's a type of music. 26 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,530 You've had 16 sexual partners? 27 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:29,808 - Okay... - Yeah. 28 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:32,088 Provided your blood test comes back negative, 29 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:34,641 that'll be $54. 30 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,406 Fifty... don't you think my sperm's worth a little more than that? 31 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:39,722 Because you've had 16 sexual partners, 32 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:41,848 there's already a 90% risk... 33 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,162 But I put on my form that I don't have an STI. 34 00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:45,924 You could have written anything. 35 00:01:46,120 --> 00:01:47,929 Ma'am, what am I supposed to do with $54? 36 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:51,527 I can't pay my rent with $54. 37 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:53,330 Do you know how hard it is for me 38 00:01:53,480 --> 00:01:56,290 to just give away my future spawn for 54 bucks? 39 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:58,807 - How do you think they'd feel? - Shh. 40 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:01,440 Cool name. 41 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:03,768 This is Scat's roommate Sneaky Pete. 42 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:07,049 He broke his jaw sophomore year after a motorcycle accident, 43 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:10,010 and had it wired shut. He couldn't speak for three months. 44 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:13,209 The accident just so happened to coincide with "Marketing 304: 45 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:16,449 Persona Creation," where Sneaky Pete received the only perfect score. 46 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:18,011 He hasn't said a word since. 47 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,089 You're a perfect candidate, Mr. Pete. 48 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:22,567 This is wonderful. Provided your blood test... 49 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:25,644 Pete visited the health clinic 18 times his freshman year, 50 00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,802 and it wasn't because he had the flu. 51 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,525 That will be $270. 52 00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:32,001 But the truth doesn't matter, 53 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:34,481 because perception is reality. 54 00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:36,130 ...saving it for marriage. 55 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:37,645 It's all just... 56 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:40,127 marketing. 57 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,806 $54 a week? 58 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,928 Your sister makes more at her lemonade stand. 59 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:50,527 Mom, it's just temporary. Competition's stiff in this climate. 60 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:52,250 - You're settling. - I'll get... 61 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,408 You used to be so innovative. 62 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,722 Remember when you won the science fair, Michael? 63 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:58,769 Mom, my name is Scat now. 64 00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:00,365 This form is now... 65 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:04,330 Recapping the stories... 66 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:06,926 Introducing the Tiddy Bear. 67 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:09,122 That's T-I-D-D-Y Bear. 68 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,169 The cute little guy that eliminates all those 69 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:13,891 irritating shoulder-strap problems. 70 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:16,008 Designed to make driving more comfortable, 71 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,322 the Tiddy Bear snaps onto your shoulder strap 72 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,086 and moves up and down to eliminate uncomfortable pressure... 73 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,722 - Going to bed? - Now you can have you own Tiddy Bear, 74 00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:26,803 and eliminate those annoying shoulder... 75 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:28,291 They say every person has three 76 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:30,807 million-dollar ideas in their life. 77 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:33,611 Scat had three of them before he turned seven... 78 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:35,410 - See you tomorrow. - ...and many after. 79 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:37,562 In high school, he won the state science fair 80 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:39,722 for inventing a new flavor of ice cream. 81 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,963 165 people showed up for the taste test. 82 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,128 They just wanted vanilla. 83 00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:48,250 You see, people don't care about something new. 84 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:51,051 They just want the same old thing 85 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:53,009 behind a new, sexier label... 86 00:03:53,160 --> 00:03:55,288 Fuck! 87 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:00,282 ...because taste doesn't matter. 88 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:01,965 It's all about the branding. 89 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,521 And without that... 90 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,363 it's just syrup and water. 91 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,841 Pete, you awake? 92 00:04:19,520 --> 00:04:20,851 I have an idea... 93 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,241 it's a drink idea. It just clicked! 94 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:24,811 I'm gonna run with this, Pete. 95 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,769 I really think this could be it for me. 96 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:29,571 I might even be able to pull you in too. You've got great ideas. 97 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:31,609 What do you think? Do I... I mean do I go indie? 98 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:33,444 Do I try to sell to one of the majors? 99 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:37,287 Yeah, it definitely feels mainstream. 100 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:39,329 One of the majors. 101 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:42,131 I just need to get it in front of the right guy. 102 00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:45,011 - Little did he know 103 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,481 her name is Six. 104 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:50,285 Wow. 105 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:53,843 Six sounds like sex. 106 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,684 That's the point. 107 00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:57,842 Studies show that the more men associate 108 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:01,163 sex with decision-making, the more likely their answer will be "yes" 109 00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:03,840 - to anything that you might request. - Morning, Six! 110 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,525 "What was the question?" you might ask. 111 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,170 - Grade A. - Great ass. 112 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:10,608 Do you really think it matters? 113 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,525 Addy. This is Beth. 114 00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:15,603 Sure! 115 00:05:15,760 --> 00:05:18,604 Welcome to the Addison Company, how may I help you? 116 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,922 Hello, Beth is it? 117 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,200 I'm the brother to your New Products marketing manager 118 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,004 and I... 119 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:27,606 it's the whole family. We have this special birthday surprise planned... 120 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:29,245 Who do you wish to see, sir? 121 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,084 - Six. - I'm sorry, 122 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,641 New Products doesn't accept unscheduled meetings. 123 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,802 Yeah, I know that, Beth. That's why I'm here. 124 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,167 I was hoping you'd put me through to her so that I can sort this all out. 125 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:39,810 Addy. This is Beth! 126 00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:42,804 Sure, you're welcome! 127 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,485 I'm sorry, New Products doesn't accept unsolicited calls. 128 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:49,689 Tell me, Beth, how do you suggest that I contact my own sister? 129 00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:51,444 I refuse to solicit a call. 130 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:53,409 - That's just absurd. - Try her cell. 131 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:56,530 Have a nice day, sir. 132 00:05:56,680 --> 00:05:58,125 Addy. This is Beth. 133 00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:00,123 Yeah, the ingredients in Addison beverages 134 00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:01,884 are suitable for a vegetarian. 135 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,604 Should we reschedule? 136 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:19,046 No, I don't know. 137 00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:27,525 Not sure how long we'll have to stay out here. 138 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,610 All over my phone. 139 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,489 I suppose we should stand over here. 140 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:39,400 You know how they first marketed fire alarms? 141 00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,682 - Hired arsonists. - Yeah. 142 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:43,962 "Marketing 101 143 00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:47,044 I hear 'em from my manicurist, my Pilates instructor, 144 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:49,328 my girlfriend. I don't need yours. 145 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:51,323 You don't need my what? 146 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:54,080 A drink idea. 147 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,367 Bravo. 148 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:01,291 You've got the sex thing, you've got the wealth thing, 149 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,643 - you've totally got the mystery thing. - You think this is an image? 150 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,326 You're right. Don't ruin the magic. 151 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,084 The insurance company only obligates 152 00:07:09,280 --> 00:07:11,567 a four-minute mandatory evacuation for all fire alarms, 153 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:14,405 which means you have 25 seconds before Addy starts losing money. 154 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,608 What? Can't we set up a meeting, something? 155 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,808 I have an idea that could make your company millions of dollars 156 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,286 and you're giving me 30 seconds? 157 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:22,090 That's how long we have to sell our customers. 158 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:24,527 It's called advertising. Five seconds. 159 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:27,844 All right. 160 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,924 Okay okay! Jet black can called "Fukk"! 161 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:37,771 8:00 PM, Alain Ducasse. 162 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:42,642 11:00 AM, coffee. I don't do dinner. 163 00:07:42,800 --> 00:07:44,245 12:00, lunch! 164 00:07:44,440 --> 00:07:45,726 Abe & Arthur's. 165 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:47,928 Or I'm going to ZephCo. 166 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,841 Tampering with a fire alarm is a federal offense. 167 00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:59,645 Men categorize women in one of four ways: 168 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:03,202 mothers, virgins, sluts and bitches. 169 00:08:04,640 --> 00:08:06,324 Of course, none of the above 170 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,926 is suitable for the modern businesswoman. 171 00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:10,401 But you can create your own image 172 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:13,922 by selecting pieces of each archetype that work for you. 173 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,401 For example, the sexual attractiveness... 174 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,329 of the slut. 175 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,931 The wisdom of the mother. 176 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,531 The integrity of the virgin. 177 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:29,001 The independence of the bitch. 178 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:32,881 This leaves men confused and unable to pigeon-hole you. 179 00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:35,611 What they're forced to do instead is 180 00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:37,489 take you seriously. 181 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,602 - Mr. Scat. - Ms. Six. 182 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:43,331 As this is a business lunch, a handshake is appropriate. 183 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:46,404 I completely agree. I always say lunch lubricates business. 184 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:48,528 - Lubricates what? - Nothing. I don't lubricate. 185 00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:50,250 - Mr. Scat... - Scat. 186 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:52,846 - This idea of yours, "Fuck"... - Yeah, that's F-U-K-K. 187 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,729 That addresses my first concern. 188 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:57,201 Now, with regard to the target market, 189 00:08:57,360 --> 00:09:00,603 I'm assuming you're after the young, cynical image-conscious consumer? 190 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:01,921 Like yourself. 191 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:05,641 Mr. Scat, don't confuse me with a consumer. I don't buy anything. 192 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:07,484 Exactly, it'd be like drinking irony. 193 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,085 No, we're not ready yet. 194 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:12,402 Did you have any thoughts on taste? 195 00:09:12,560 --> 00:09:14,244 Well, no. 196 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,926 People don't buy energy drinks based on taste, do they? 197 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:18,844 No, I was just wondering. 198 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,002 Well, then... 199 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:24,329 something eye-wateringly sharp with a kind of chemical aftertaste, 200 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,244 so you think, "This must be powerful!" 201 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:34,441 Good. Good. 202 00:09:35,960 --> 00:09:37,769 - Where are you going? - I'm leaving. 203 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,763 What about lunch? 204 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:41,490 Mm-hmm. 205 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:53,165 May I say you're very young to be managing your own department? 206 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,010 I'm 21. 207 00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:56,730 No, seriously... 208 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:59,087 21. 209 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:01,726 I'll give you 25... okay, 24. 210 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,281 Mr. Scat, I am 21. Now deal with it. 211 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:06,204 Okay, marketer to marketer, 212 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,408 - you're not 21, and... - What? 213 00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:10,927 ...you're “Of 93V- 214 00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:13,128 I graduated from high school when I was 15, 215 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,044 courtesy of an advanced-learning program. 216 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,806 I did four years at UCLA, an MBA at Stanford, 217 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:20,281 and now after three months at Addison, I am 21 years old. 218 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,249 I lie about going to Stanford too. 219 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,040 Perhaps you should see someone about that. 220 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:27,562 Look, Fukk's mediocre, it's not great. 221 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:30,485 I was thinking, what if the can has a ton of compressed air in it 222 00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:32,085 so that when you pop one, everyone around hears it? 223 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,766 No, we had a bad experience with aeration in Massachusetts. 224 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:38,003 300 people called to complain about excessive gassiness. 225 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:40,606 And besides, there was that exploding-can fatality. 226 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,331 Have I had you sign a non-disclosure form? 227 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:44,686 - No. - I'm going to need you to do that. 228 00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:46,410 I'll come into your office tomorrow. 229 00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:48,688 Actually I don't need you to come in until we present to the board, 230 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:50,046 and they don't convene until next week. 231 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,965 - I'll courier you the form. - Mediocre, huh? 232 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,521 Look, I work for a company that could buy 233 00:10:55,680 --> 00:10:57,682 a continent if they wanted to. 234 00:10:57,880 --> 00:10:59,769 I have people that fix ideas. 235 00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,763 Addiland? Hmm. 236 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,729 The point is just sit tight. 237 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,480 I'm going to have my team work through the night to make it great. 238 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:08,324 I'm assembling them now. 239 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:09,681 Okay. 240 00:11:09,840 --> 00:11:11,763 - Okay. - Could you not use that word? 241 00:11:11,920 --> 00:11:13,445 "Okay"? 242 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:16,251 Look, "Addy" is the second most well-known word in the world. 243 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,010 We're shooting for number one. 244 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,571 - You get me? - I get you. 245 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:23,002 - Why Six? - What? 246 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:26,409 Why did you pick Six? Why not, you know, Five? 247 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:29,564 I didn't pick it. It is my real name. 248 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:32,121 Nobody's parents give them an unusually cool name. 249 00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:33,611 There are only parent-given regular names 250 00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:35,967 and parent-given embarrassing names. 251 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,930 I went to school with a kid named Petal, for Christ's sake. 252 00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:41,890 I hate to wreck your theory, but I was named Six by my parents. 253 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:43,371 Although not at first. 254 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:45,522 When I was born, I was christened "Zero," 255 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:48,200 when I turned one, I was renamed to "One." 256 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:51,011 It was actually quite touching, having my name as well as my age 257 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:53,162 on my birthday cake in frosty blue icing. 258 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:55,800 Even if I believed you can remember your first birthday, 259 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,361 which I don't, what happened to Seven? 260 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:01,251 When I was six, my parents died in a plane crash. 261 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:03,402 Taxi! 262 00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:05,881 We'll be in touch. 263 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:12,044 Scat I'm in love. 264 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:14,248 She's like a rose dipped in poison. 265 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,006 She sells herself better than anyone I've ever met. 266 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:19,811 I think there was some sexual tension. I've always wanted sexual tension. 267 00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:21,291 She's having a team work through the night 268 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,200 to present to the board tomorrow and she said 269 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:24,924 they don't meet till next week. She lies right to my face, 270 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:27,080 outrageous lies, and you know what? I believe them. 271 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,001 She's trying to steal my idea. She's fantastic! 272 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:30,280 Yes. 273 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:34,682 I wonder what her real name is. 274 00:12:34,840 --> 00:12:37,286 Please leave a message at the tone. 275 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:39,926 Hey, Mom, you'll never believe this. 276 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:42,162 I pitched an idea to Addison Cola Company yesterday. 277 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:45,091 And, well, nothing's for sure yet, but they're having me 278 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:47,362 - present to the board today. - Hey hey. 279 00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:49,841 - Hey! - Hey hey! 280 00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,889 Hey you! Damn it! 281 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:55,126 Oh, hey! 282 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,567 You'd get a real kick out of this. 283 00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,961 I mean it's a whole room filled with rich executives 284 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:02,248 all listening to me pitch my drink idea. 285 00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,084 Wish me luck, I wore a suit. 286 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:06,368 It's Pete's. 287 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:09,763 - And later, we will further develop... - Come back here! 288 00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:13,681 What's going on? 289 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:15,444 Hey! 290 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:17,602 We are prepared to go to all measures... 291 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,962 However as we... 292 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,649 Sorry I'm late. 293 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:30,291 Traffic was toxic. 294 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:35,207 Chairman, gentlemen, may I present to you Mr. Scat? 295 00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:37,283 The creator of Fukk. How's everybody doing? 296 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:39,761 Is Mr. Scat here one of our employees? 297 00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:42,611 - Actually, he is... - No, not yet. 298 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:45,041 Sir, he is simply a contractor that I've brought in 299 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,680 - to help with some logistics. - I hate to burst your bubble, 300 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:50,411 but we don't develop products that we don't own. 301 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,807 Gentlemen, my partner may have misled you. 302 00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,167 See, Mr. Scat and I have co-developed Fukk. 303 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:57,800 And he is prepared to relinquish trademark rights for only $2 million. 304 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:01,567 That's good. 305 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,245 Does that mean...? 306 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:08,643 Yes, Scat, you're rich and famous. 307 00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:14,246 You did register that trademark, didn't you? 308 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:27,481 Thanks, hon. That's enough. 309 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,690 Number 32! 310 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:36,446 - Hi! - Hi! Hello! 311 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:38,324 If I have a name for a new drink and it hasn't been registered, 312 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:39,681 I can do that through you, right? 313 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:42,127 Oh yes, dear. What's the name of your drink? 314 00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:44,362 It's F-U-K-K. 315 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,807 Oh, "Fook"? 316 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:50,760 Okay. I'll just enter that into the machine here. 317 00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:59,529 "Fook, Fook, Fook, Fook, Fook, 318 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:00,681 Fook, Fook, Fook, Fook, Fook." 319 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:02,808 Ooh, I'm sorry. 320 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,729 That name has already been registered. 321 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:07,651 - Just this morning too. - What? 322 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,490 One person but with two names. 323 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:13,285 Fucking bitch. 324 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:17,531 - What's her real name? - Huh? 325 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,286 One of her names is Six. What's her other name? 326 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:23,609 Oh, uh, one of the names is Peter Ang... 327 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,525 and the other is Sneaky Pete. 328 00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:30,524 Huh! That's kind of fun... 329 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,490 Shit! 330 00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:48,847 Pick up, pick up! 331 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,571 Sneaky Pete. Now it actually fucking makes sense. 332 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:54,684 You asshole. You fucking asshole! I trusted you. 333 00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:57,810 Do you think they want a stolen idea, Pete? 334 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,042 Nobody likes a lawsuit. Six isn't stupid. 335 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,202 She knows how to navigate these things. 336 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:05,489 I've already heard from her people, her legal department, they... 337 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,083 Fuck. 338 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:31,561 Well, congratulations. 339 00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:34,127 You've just completed "Marketing 101 340 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:36,282 Hello. Hello? 341 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:38,807 Good evening, Mr. Becker. 342 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:41,281 - Who's this? - I have good news for you, Mr. Becker. 343 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:44,046 - And what would that be? - You're the winner 344 00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,248 of the Comtel ring-in-the-savings draw, 345 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,841 entitling you to three big months of our crystal-clear 346 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,891 long-distance service at 20% off the regular low low price. 347 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:55,486 - Isn't that incredible? - Yeah, I'm not interested in any... 348 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,165 And that's not all. 349 00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,448 If you sign up for our dial-up Internet access plan, 350 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:00,886 you can be surfing at breakneck speeds 351 00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:04,084 for the jaw-dropping price of $19.99. 352 00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:06,004 Do you have a credit card, Mr. Becker? 353 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,084 Fuck! 354 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:58,289 Honey, I just saw your drink this afternoon 355 00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:00,363 in the soda machine at the tennis club. 356 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:01,885 And Jenna... 357 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,963 you know Jenna, Sophie's mother... 358 00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:06,407 anyway, I overheard her telling her friends 359 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,331 how she just loves a good Fukk. 360 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:13,525 I realized she was talking about you! Your drink! 361 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:16,889 I'm just so proud of you. Send Pete my love, honey, 362 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,407 and include him in everything you're doing, huh? 363 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,210 We'll speak soon. Bye-bye. 364 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,249 Scat! 365 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:51,689 You look, um... 366 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:54,645 how are you? 367 00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:59,008 Yeah, I'm good. I'm great. Thank you. 368 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,562 Good. Good! 369 00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:04,290 Very good. 370 00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,768 - Fukk - Hmm? 371 00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:10,205 Oh, yeah. 372 00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:11,930 Yeah, they're great. They're... 373 00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:13,605 they're fantastic. I-l... 374 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:16,445 I really like what you did with the carbonation. 375 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:19,331 We put a disclaimer on the bottom of the can. 376 00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:21,244 Yeah, I saw that. 377 00:19:24,680 --> 00:19:27,081 I... wondered 378 00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:28,605 about how you might be doing. 379 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:32,003 I'm fantastic. 380 00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:33,889 I mean... 381 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,008 you mean the trademark thing? 382 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:37,889 That's business, you know. 383 00:19:38,040 --> 00:19:40,247 But I've got so much going on, that... 384 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,687 it didn't... 385 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,250 How's it doing? 386 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,164 Number one energy drink in the nation. 387 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:56,641 Wow, that's fantastic. 388 00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,844 I mean congratulations. That's huge. 389 00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:02,848 Yeah. 390 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,082 It wasn't really me. 391 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:08,050 Hey, Six, let's go! 392 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,362 Pete's waiting. He's got a big surprise for you. 393 00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:11,766 Of course. 394 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:37,286 Mr. Pete would like to firstly 395 00:20:37,440 --> 00:20:39,044 thank everyone in this room 396 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:41,168 for all of their hard work and determination 397 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,004 during the summer Fukk campaign. 398 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:46,687 Gentlemen, we are once again projected at number one. 399 00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:49,764 And well deserved. 400 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:51,331 Now, now... 401 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:54,524 Mr. Pete would like to personally extend 402 00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:57,843 his warmest congratulations to Ms. Six. 403 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:00,571 After all, this was her baby. 404 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:02,484 But you can rest assured, Ms. Six, 405 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:05,530 with Pete fathering the Fukk campaign from here on out, 406 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:08,604 your baby is in good hands. 407 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:12,890 Hopefully, the Classic campaign won't be too much work for you. 408 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:27,123 Scat What was that? 409 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:29,089 My baby shower. 410 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,368 - You're not... - No shit! 411 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,325 I've been taken off Fukk and stuck babysitting Addy Classics. 412 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:37,444 - Why? - Senior management loves Sneaky Pete. 413 00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:39,204 Everyone else is terrified of him! 414 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,131 So I'm stuck implementing a 15-year-old campaign. 415 00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:44,402 Fucking men! 416 00:21:46,320 --> 00:21:48,846 I'm replacing the campaign with something better. 417 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,809 - Much better. - What's that? 418 00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:53,088 Ideas aren't my strength, Scat. 419 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:56,164 My strengths are development, management and negotiation, which clearly 420 00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:59,449 you don't have or else you'd be worth $2 million right now, wouldn't you? 421 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:04,290 You got another Fukk in you? 422 00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:07,249 - Have I...? - Right. 423 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:09,767 I shouldn't have asked. I'm sure you're busy. 424 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:11,445 - So we'd be working together. - Yes. 425 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,051 - Having lunch together. - Possibly. 426 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:14,850 - Living together. - Yeah... no! 427 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,729 - Why would we be living together? - I need a place to stay. 428 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:19,724 - I don't have furniture at my place. - I'll loan you a mattress. 429 00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,803 - The lease is almost up. - This is only for five days. 430 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:23,801 - Why? - If any new production is gonna make it 431 00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:25,928 in time for summer, they need it by the end of the week. 432 00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:29,368 So you're asking me to come up with an entire advertising campaign 433 00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:32,808 - for Addy Classics in five days? - No, that would be a waste of time. 434 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:36,089 I need you to come up with an entire advertising campaign for Fukk. 435 00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:38,049 I want to beat Pete. 436 00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,806 C'mon, what's the worst that could happen? 437 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,890 You don't think of anything and go back to your... 438 00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:45,883 other work. 439 00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:47,451 My other...? 440 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,728 I'm definitely staying at your place then. 441 00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,771 I live in Times Square with my girlfriend. 442 00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,682 Tina doesn't like men... 443 00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:02,085 at all. 444 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:05,160 Why are you smiling? 445 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:09,244 'Cause this is what it feels like 446 00:23:09,400 --> 00:23:11,641 to be the guy you need. 447 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,926 You can have the sofa. Not a bed. 448 00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:21,691 - Pillows are subject to availability. - Sure. 449 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:23,922 And you do not wander into rooms, you knock. 450 00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:25,969 Of course. 451 00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:27,884 And most importantly... 452 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:29,963 you leave that toilet seat down. 453 00:23:30,120 --> 00:23:32,202 I may not be able to control that. 454 00:23:32,360 --> 00:23:34,601 - Then I hope you can hold it. - It's instinctual. 455 00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:36,922 I think a handshake is appropriate. 456 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,811 This is exciting. I feel good about this. 457 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:43,203 Five days though? Isn't that cutting it close? 458 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:46,131 Whatever. We can probably stretch it. 459 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:48,730 Loose deadline, right? 460 00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:52,205 You can do this. 461 00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:55,803 I'll assign a team once you get the hang of things, 462 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:57,530 relieve some of your... stress. 463 00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:59,125 Kind of like you did on Fukk? 464 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:20,849 This is it. 465 00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:37,804 Are you gonna say it? 466 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:42,248 You're clearly not a lesbian. 467 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:43,890 What? 468 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:47,402 We leave for work at 7:00. I'll wake you at 6:00. 469 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:49,847 - Okay. - Scat, that word. 470 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:51,764 Even outside of work? 471 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,002 There is no outside of work. 472 00:24:55,360 --> 00:24:58,364 Shit. Shit! 473 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:17,925 I made you breakfast. 474 00:25:19,600 --> 00:25:21,523 Wow. 475 00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:24,888 I never would have picked you for a woman who would cook for a man. 476 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:26,161 Why not? 477 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:29,521 - Because of the sexism. - Are you trying to be sensitive? 478 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:31,085 - I am sensitive. - So, what, according to you, 479 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,049 women aren't allowed to cook for men? 480 00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,521 Reversing the gender stereotype doesn't eliminate it. 481 00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:38,166 If you weren't sexist, you wouldn't care I made you breakfast. 482 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,005 - All right. - No no no, okay, I'm sorry. 483 00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:43,811 I'm sorry. Thank you. 484 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:45,644 I appreciate it, Six. 485 00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:50,166 You like them fluffy? I made them fluffy. 486 00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:55,087 - I love fluffy. - Eat quick, we leave in 20. 487 00:25:57,280 --> 00:25:59,248 Quicker. 488 00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:05,603 Product Relatability," 489 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:09,446 you learn to analyze love, longing and desire 490 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,604 as if it were a tool to sell a product. 491 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:15,928 As far as we know, it's a stimulation 492 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:19,448 of the brain's ventral tegmental area and caudate nucleus. 493 00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:22,962 These areas are also involved in major purchasing decisions, 494 00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:26,363 so a lot of research is going into how to trigger them directly, 495 00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:28,767 with a fragrance, for example, 496 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,685 or a particular sequence of notes. 497 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:34,446 The ultimate goal, of course, is a method 498 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,171 of making any given person fall hopelessly in love 499 00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:39,442 with any given product. 500 00:26:40,800 --> 00:26:44,441 We haven't figured that out yet, but... we're getting there. 501 00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:47,284 We're getting there. 502 00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:59,041 Signing in a sub-contractor. 503 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:04,645 Today. 504 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,001 Yeah. 505 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:26,850 Six. 506 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:33,244 Who the fuck told the band we'd cover their mini-bar? 507 00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:36,449 No, it's not fucking all right. It's not fucking all right at all! 508 00:27:36,600 --> 00:27:38,967 We want 50k on that, minimum. 509 00:27:39,120 --> 00:27:41,521 You can't get a good-looking priest for under 50k. 510 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:43,563 I spent hours going through the casting. 511 00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:45,046 Welcome back. 512 00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:51,609 This is my office? 513 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:55,526 No, that is your office. 514 00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,168 Call me if you need anything. 515 00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:02,211 Oh, and by the way, 516 00:28:02,360 --> 00:28:05,807 if anyone asks, you're consulting on an Addy Classics campaign. 517 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:24,963 So you're the new Chet. 518 00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:28,327 - Excuse me? - A word of advice... 519 00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:33,724 Nothing. 520 00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:57,685 Scat, don't do that. 521 00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,042 You feel important, but you look pompous. 522 00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:02,441 That is quite a control complex you've got there. 523 00:29:02,600 --> 00:29:04,489 I know that you enjoy psychoanalyzing me, 524 00:29:04,680 --> 00:29:06,808 but not everything I do reveals my innermost secret feelings. 525 00:29:06,960 --> 00:29:08,962 Sometimes I'm just trying to prevent you 526 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:11,805 from embarrassing us. You need a little leadership. 527 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:15,043 Oh, that's leadership? What about your inability 528 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:18,090 - to accept anyone else's point of view? - Focus. Let's focus. 529 00:29:18,240 --> 00:29:20,163 - Your paranoia? - Business savvy. 530 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,328 Obsessive need to know everything that's going on? 531 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:24,608 - Organizational skills. - Aggressiveness? 532 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:35,604 Okay, that means we're moving up the 3:00 533 00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:38,525 to 2:00, but that's fine, we can move the 2:00... 534 00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,411 that's the old 2:00... to 4:00. 535 00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:48,363 Mr. Pete? 536 00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:53,084 Mr. Pete. 537 00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:54,605 This is Scat, 538 00:29:54,760 --> 00:29:56,842 a contractor I've brought in to help 539 00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,890 with some campaign logistics. 540 00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:05,886 Creating and Sustaining Competitive Advantage in the Workplace." 541 00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:09,203 With rivalry always comes motivation to succeed. 542 00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:14,527 So what do we have? 543 00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:19,729 Okay. 544 00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:55,644 I know that some... 545 00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:59,327 creative people can find pressure counter-productive, but... 546 00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:01,005 tomorrow's Friday. 547 00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:03,686 What happens if I can't think of anything? 548 00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:05,530 I mean... 549 00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,411 you can't really rush this sort of thing, you know? 550 00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:12,010 I have faith in you. 551 00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:21,049 All right. 552 00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:22,725 Okay, well... 553 00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:24,609 this needs more work, but tell me what you think. 554 00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:27,923 So we open on a beach. 555 00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:30,287 Frolicking teenagers, sun, bikinis, 556 00:31:30,440 --> 00:31:32,363 then a shadow falls over them. 557 00:31:32,520 --> 00:31:34,841 They turn and there's this gigantic beach ball. 558 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:36,843 I mean, it's 100' tall, right? 559 00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:39,008 And as it rolls towards them, 560 00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:41,128 they run and they scream and they... 561 00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:44,762 - what? - How does that sell the product? 562 00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,282 - It's just cool. - We don't need "just cool," Scat! 563 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:50,408 We need brilliant! 564 00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:52,210 They're going to fire me, Scat. 565 00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:55,204 I canceled the old campaign already. 566 00:31:58,080 --> 00:31:59,650 It's too late to go back. 567 00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:04,081 Pete put me in charge of mundane re-processing procedures, 568 00:32:04,200 --> 00:32:05,611 so I just... 569 00:32:05,760 --> 00:32:07,569 canceled it. 570 00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:10,041 So unless you come up with something brilliant 571 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:11,890 by 6:00 tomorrow afternoon, Addy will have 572 00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:14,805 no summer campaign for Fukk and we'll both be fired. 573 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:17,691 Not in a cool way. Not dramatically. 574 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:22,483 We'll just clean out our desks and go home. 575 00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:28,808 You'll catch a bus back to your furniture-free apartment 576 00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:30,928 and disappear. 577 00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,325 Valuable Relationships and Synergies... 578 00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:53,528 How to Cultivate a Valuable Partnership 579 00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:56,570 and Recognize When You're Being Leveraged Unfairly." 580 00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:02,362 Scat just happened to be sick that week. 581 00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:05,965 Help help... 00P- 582 00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:11,363 - You can do it. - What? 583 00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:14,171 Come up with the world's greatest ad in less than 12 hours? 584 00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:16,209 Really, you think so? 'Cause I gotta say, 585 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:18,647 at this point I think it's more likely that I'm not. 586 00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,802 It would be irresponsible of me, as your manager, 587 00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:23,167 to put that excess pressure on you. 588 00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:25,322 This isn't excess pressure? 589 00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:27,921 This feels like excess pressure. 590 00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:29,889 It's simple, Scat: 591 00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:31,883 yield results, keep your job. 592 00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:33,883 Why'd you have to go and make me breakfast, and then just... 593 00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:36,480 - You're an adult. Try and... - You don't give a crap about me. 594 00:33:36,520 --> 00:33:39,285 - You never have. I feel used. - You're throwing a tantrum. 595 00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:41,124 Well then, you shouldn't have made me breakfast. 596 00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:42,645 I feel like I'm going to my own execution. 597 00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:45,610 You knew it was impossible, but you still had the nerve. 598 00:33:45,760 --> 00:33:47,440 You know what? This isn't even about drama. 599 00:33:47,520 --> 00:33:49,966 This is about basic respect and human decency, 600 00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:51,963 and you don't... 601 00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:09,004 You can do this. 602 00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:16,089 It only takes an 18th of a second 603 00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:18,851 for a synapse in your brain to trigger a thought 604 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:22,004 or a million-dollar idea. 605 00:34:53,240 --> 00:34:54,890 What do you got? 606 00:34:57,120 --> 00:35:00,442 Here's how to spot the difference between art and marketing. 607 00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:03,331 Marketing starts with an unfulfilled need in the marketplace 608 00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:05,130 and figures out how to plug it. 609 00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:07,760 Art, on the other hand, starts with the idea. 610 00:35:07,920 --> 00:35:10,241 Figuring out how to sell it comes later, if at all. 611 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:13,609 This way makes better stuff, but a lot of the time there's no market for it. 612 00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:15,250 This way makes more money, 613 00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:17,448 but a lot of the time the idea sucks, 614 00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:20,251 'cause you can't force ideas to turn up when you need them. 615 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,164 They just do... 616 00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:24,129 or they don't. 617 00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:27,124 I've got nothing. 618 00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:33,810 What? 619 00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:43,728 Well, at least you had fun. 620 00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:51,651 - You just flushed me down the toilet. - Beach balls? 621 00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:53,760 I don't know, maybe we should have gone with that. 622 00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:57,009 No, we shouldn't. it was a stupid idea, just like all your other stupid ideas. 623 00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,480 Your company paid $2 million for one of those stupid ideas. 624 00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:01,602 - Because I sold it to them! - You know what? 625 00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:04,406 This is not cool. 626 00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:06,642 This is not cool. Fuck! 627 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:09,644 - Fuck! - Scat, cut it out. 628 00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:12,007 I feel like I'm babysitting. 629 00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:15,403 It is not acceptable to throw tantrums in public places. 630 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:24,643 - Don't do that. - I am not going back to that life 631 00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:26,882 where everything was annoying and boring and sucked! 632 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,048 I'm not! 633 00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:32,522 People actually get killed doing that. 634 00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:34,808 Shit! Uh-oh. 635 00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:37,840 Scat? 636 00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:39,881 Scat! 637 00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:43,964 Scat? 638 00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:45,770 Scat? 639 00:37:01,680 --> 00:37:04,331 Last year, 12 Americans lost their lives 640 00:37:04,480 --> 00:37:06,960 while trying to steal from vending machines. 641 00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:10,084 Wouldn't you die for a Fukk? 642 00:37:10,240 --> 00:37:12,163 Holy crap. 643 00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:14,322 Did they just buy it? 644 00:37:15,560 --> 00:37:16,925 They bought it. 645 00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:18,969 - What's wrong with you? - What? 646 00:37:19,120 --> 00:37:20,804 - You're excited. - No, I'm not. 647 00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:22,610 Yes, you are, you're excited. 648 00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:26,642 I'm finding you very attractive right now. 649 00:37:26,800 --> 00:37:29,121 Really? 650 00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:00,248 - So? - Over it now. 651 00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:08,889 Congratulations! 652 00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,767 Can I have everyone's attention, please? 653 00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:22,649 Thank you. Mr. Pete would like to congratulate 654 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:25,690 Ms. Six and Mr. Scat on the new campaign. 655 00:38:25,840 --> 00:38:27,569 This is exactly the type of initiative 656 00:38:27,720 --> 00:38:29,802 that Mr. Pete likes to foster in New Products, 657 00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:31,724 so, well done. 658 00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:38,729 By the way, I am Mr. Pete's new personal assistant. 659 00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:40,649 My name... 660 00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:44,043 is Three. 661 00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:48,009 That's my image! 662 00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:49,969 They've stolen my image! 663 00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:51,929 Come on, you're twice the woman she is. 664 00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:54,128 - That's my image. - 'Cause three plus three... 665 00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:55,930 Are you talking? 666 00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:58,560 Do you know how long it took me to develop that? 667 00:38:58,720 --> 00:39:00,609 Three. That's not even right! 668 00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:03,161 Three! What is that even supposed to mean? 669 00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:06,842 What's Six supposed... oh, of course. 670 00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:16,288 Six, Scat. 671 00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:18,841 Mr. Pete wanted you to know that even though 672 00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:21,247 what happened yesterday was an unforgivable 673 00:39:21,400 --> 00:39:23,084 and despicable form of sabotage, 674 00:39:23,240 --> 00:39:25,129 there are no hard feelings. 675 00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:28,762 Mr. Pete's only concern is the outcome of this company. 676 00:39:28,920 --> 00:39:30,968 And we're going to work really hard to make sure 677 00:39:31,120 --> 00:39:34,203 that this new campaign of yours doesn't turn into a total disaster 678 00:39:34,360 --> 00:39:37,569 that consumes both of your careers. Understand? 679 00:39:40,240 --> 00:39:41,969 Interesting look. 680 00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:45,691 Make sure that security doesn't see you up here. 681 00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:03,409 Fukk! 682 00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:05,164 How was that? 683 00:40:05,320 --> 00:40:06,526 Six, check it out. 684 00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:09,160 We got the dailies back from the studio. 685 00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:12,051 - Not bad, Scat. - Subtle, I like that. 686 00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:15,921 - Not bad at all. - I thought you were Six. 687 00:40:16,080 --> 00:40:18,765 - I'm not Spock. - Seriously... 688 00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:20,922 isn't this a little demeaning? 689 00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:23,447 Oops, said his name. He was a fucking sick... 690 00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:24,965 Let me ask you something... 691 00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:27,566 and I know that this is super personal, 692 00:40:27,720 --> 00:40:29,529 but I was just kind of wondering... 693 00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:32,570 why do you like Six so much? 694 00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,287 Is it because you like to be pushed around? 695 00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:38,204 No, of course not. Well... 696 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:39,691 maybe that's part of it. 697 00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:41,649 You know it's not real, right? 698 00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:44,201 You know there's not one thing genuine about her. 699 00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:46,442 You know that she's not even a real lesbian, right? 700 00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:48,648 Yeah, of course I know that. 701 00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:51,491 You could have saved me some embarrassment. 702 00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:55,361 Scat, there is nothing real about her. She's just image! 703 00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:59,805 Why do you shackle yourself to her? 704 00:40:59,960 --> 00:41:02,327 Sneaky Pete will take care of you... 705 00:41:03,720 --> 00:41:05,882 - and so will I. - No no no, you don't know Six... 706 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:08,691 at all. 707 00:41:31,720 --> 00:41:33,245 It's cold tonight. 708 00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:38,202 So you should sleep with me. 709 00:41:43,160 --> 00:41:46,482 A standard Vegas striptease is seven minutes long. 710 00:41:46,640 --> 00:41:50,042 The woman should remove her top 711 00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:51,850 at the four-minute mark. 712 00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:55,083 At six minutes, she should be naked... 713 00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:57,681 with the exception of an optional prop. 714 00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:01,322 The beginner's mistake is to get naked too fast, 715 00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:04,290 thinking that's what the audience is there for. 716 00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:07,689 It's not. 717 00:42:07,840 --> 00:42:10,571 Sex is biology. 718 00:42:11,880 --> 00:42:13,484 Sex appeal 719 00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:15,369 is marketing. 720 00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:20,011 It's not the naked body that's exciting. 721 00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:24,122 It's the possibility. 722 00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:33,242 That's your side. 723 00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:35,010 All right? You stay on that side 724 00:42:35,160 --> 00:42:37,049 and this is my side. 725 00:42:37,240 --> 00:42:38,730 There is... 726 00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:40,530 no need for overlap. 727 00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:42,891 Okay. 728 00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:45,490 And don't fidget. 729 00:42:45,640 --> 00:42:48,405 You have a tendency to fidget sometimes. 730 00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:50,210 Don't do that. 731 00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:52,840 - Okay. - Scat, that word. 732 00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:15,810 Ow! What was that? 733 00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:18,167 - What do you think you're doing? - I am kissing you! 734 00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:21,284 - I'm not your little woman! - You invited me to bed! 735 00:43:21,440 --> 00:43:23,920 You can't ever take me for granted! 736 00:43:25,720 --> 00:43:28,007 - What am I doing here? - I don't know! 737 00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:30,811 - I... I don't know. - Do you care about me? 738 00:43:31,000 --> 00:43:33,401 Be honest with me, do you? Do you care about me? 739 00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:37,400 Look, I am begging you, Six. Lam begging you 740 00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:40,848 just to be honest with me and to give me one clear sign. 741 00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:48,687 Look, I like you. 742 00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:56,649 I need to know if you feel anything for me. 743 00:43:58,440 --> 00:44:01,808 Or if I'm just some naive moron that you're using to get what you want. 744 00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:12,481 You're more than a naive moron to me. 745 00:44:25,880 --> 00:44:28,201 No, I'm doing Boston. I thought you were doing New York. 746 00:44:28,360 --> 00:44:29,964 No, Sneaky Pete is doing New York. 747 00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:31,929 He's doing "Letterman." 748 00:44:32,080 --> 00:44:34,447 He doesn't even speak! 749 00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:36,284 I guess I'll just do Seattle and come home. 750 00:44:44,200 --> 00:44:46,487 And when are you coming home? 751 00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:49,371 Well, I guess in two days? 752 00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:51,921 Hurry. 753 00:45:19,600 --> 00:45:21,329 I'm home. 754 00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:23,806 Uh-huh. 755 00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:26,723 Uh-huh. 756 00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:32,645 Yeah. 757 00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:37,162 - Will you be paying compensation? - How do you feel about this? 758 00:45:37,320 --> 00:45:39,721 What do you say to the family? Can you answer that question? 759 00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:42,321 A community is in mourning, and there's talk tonight of 760 00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:44,960 an investigation after a vending machine tipped over on top of a teenage boy. 761 00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:46,884 Family and friends are remembering the freshman... 762 00:45:47,040 --> 00:45:49,691 I just heard a loud thud. I didn't think anything of it 763 00:45:49,840 --> 00:45:51,600 until I looked over. There were cans every... 764 00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:53,130 Behind me you can see 765 00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:55,328 an incredible display of cards, flowers... 766 00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:58,603 ...says that about 40 students have taken advantage 767 00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:00,888 of the grief counseling at the school. 768 00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:03,486 Some have even had to go home. 769 00:46:36,400 --> 00:46:39,643 Do you ever stop and think about the people that we manipulate... 770 00:46:42,120 --> 00:46:44,043 into wanting something so badly... 771 00:46:46,640 --> 00:46:49,883 they'd do anything for a goddamn energy drink. And for what? 772 00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:51,690 I mean, why? 773 00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:58,007 Why do you do this? 774 00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:00,731 Is there anything genuine about you? 775 00:47:00,920 --> 00:47:02,649 About what you do? 776 00:47:04,920 --> 00:47:06,763 And do you feel important? 777 00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:09,844 Do you feel empowered? Is that it? 778 00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:12,287 What happens when you go home 779 00:47:12,440 --> 00:47:14,169 and get into bed 780 00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:16,129 and realize that you're no one? 781 00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:23,369 And you look at me with those stupid, sexy eyes. 782 00:47:23,520 --> 00:47:26,000 Fuck! 783 00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:28,162 And I just want to know you. 784 00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:30,442 Six, I just want to know you. 785 00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:33,331 That's all I've ever wanted is to know you. 786 00:47:56,680 --> 00:48:01,083 You could say that Parker Meehan was typical. 787 00:48:01,240 --> 00:48:03,447 He played basketball. 788 00:48:03,600 --> 00:48:06,046 He got passing grades. 789 00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:08,885 He hoped one day to become an architect, 790 00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:11,281 like his father. 791 00:48:11,440 --> 00:48:14,284 But that dream is gone. 792 00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:17,129 Snuffed out 793 00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:20,250 because like so many typical teenagers, 794 00:48:20,400 --> 00:48:23,006 Parker decided to try something that he saw 795 00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:24,810 on TV. 796 00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:28,402 On television, a falling Addy machine 797 00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:33,009 doesn't seem like it would hurt. In fact, it seems almost funny, but... 798 00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:35,970 Parker tragically discovered 799 00:48:36,120 --> 00:48:39,283 that life is not always like it is 800 00:48:39,440 --> 00:48:41,363 on TV. 801 00:48:42,800 --> 00:48:46,122 Would anyone care to share a few words? 802 00:48:58,560 --> 00:48:59,686 I would. 803 00:48:59,840 --> 00:49:01,842 Yes, please, come up. 804 00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:04,691 Scat. Scat! 805 00:49:13,240 --> 00:49:15,766 I used to think that it didn't matter. 806 00:49:17,400 --> 00:49:19,607 I was so lost with what we could do... 807 00:49:22,840 --> 00:49:24,480 that I never considered whether we should. 808 00:49:25,640 --> 00:49:27,722 It's a great power that we wield. 809 00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:31,808 It's a great and terrible power. 810 00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:37,889 Maybe we've forgotten that one basic truth: 811 00:49:43,720 --> 00:49:46,246 power requires responsibility. 812 00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:48,289 I don't know. 813 00:49:49,480 --> 00:49:52,324 Maybe us marketers have lost our way. 814 00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:54,050 - You know... - Scat, come on. 815 00:49:54,200 --> 00:49:56,248 - Let's go, come on. - What the hell are you doing? 816 00:49:56,400 --> 00:49:57,811 - What? - Don't these people 817 00:49:57,960 --> 00:50:00,008 look awfully attractive to you? 818 00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:02,401 I saw the blonde use an eye irritant. 819 00:50:02,600 --> 00:50:05,649 I'm pretty sure that brunette on the end was in the Addy '07 campaign. 820 00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:08,722 Scat, these people are actors! 821 00:50:10,760 --> 00:50:12,046 Come on. 822 00:50:13,880 --> 00:50:15,530 That prick. 823 00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:17,921 Ls everything all right? 824 00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:22,611 Parker Meehan is not dead! 825 00:50:22,760 --> 00:50:25,411 - Scat, Scat! - Son! No no no. 826 00:50:25,560 --> 00:50:27,528 - Stop, no no! - It's marketing! 827 00:50:27,680 --> 00:50:30,524 ...It's fake! It's marketing, it's... 828 00:50:37,520 --> 00:50:39,443 Aha! You see? 829 00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:41,847 Do you see? I told you. 830 00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:43,490 Shit! 831 00:50:46,680 --> 00:50:49,001 Occasionally, just occasionally, 832 00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:51,891 your company will be caught in a lie. 833 00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:54,168 It's not good. 834 00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:58,411 If possible, immediately fire somebody expendable 835 00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:00,449 and publicly apologize. 836 00:51:01,680 --> 00:51:04,889 If not, you gotta stick to the lie. 837 00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:08,243 Remember, perception is reality. 838 00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:10,801 Yes, that... that looked bad. 839 00:51:12,680 --> 00:51:14,921 Looked bad? 840 00:51:15,080 --> 00:51:19,244 We've spent $400 million on our image this year. 841 00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:21,528 And your boy goes on television, 842 00:51:21,720 --> 00:51:23,927 tips over a coffin, pulls out a mannequin, 843 00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:26,082 - and shakes it! - Yes, I-I... 844 00:51:26,240 --> 00:51:28,322 we know that this is a PR disaster. 845 00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:29,851 And we know we need a scapegoat, 846 00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:33,004 but let's be very clear as to who that scapegoat should be. 847 00:51:33,160 --> 00:51:36,562 This whole debacle was deliberately arranged by Sneaky Pete. 848 00:51:36,720 --> 00:51:39,929 Let's not go accusing people without evidence. 849 00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:41,969 We have absolutely no proof... 850 00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:49,041 Gentlemen, I am confident that an event this expensive 851 00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:50,531 can be traced to his expense account. 852 00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:54,321 I don't know enough about marketing to speculate on Mr. Pete's motives, 853 00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:57,563 but if it's true, then I would feel fairly confident that it was part... 854 00:51:57,760 --> 00:51:59,285 - No. The situation here is very clear. - No what? 855 00:51:59,440 --> 00:52:01,602 - The situation here is very clear... - Excuse me! 856 00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:04,087 - We need to call a press conference... - Part of a strategic plan. 857 00:52:04,240 --> 00:52:05,969 - Done! - And announce that this episode was 858 00:52:06,120 --> 00:52:08,771 an underhanded attempt by Sneaky Pete to discredit a colleague, 859 00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:10,888 and that Addison will not tolerate such behavior. 860 00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:12,690 And that he has been fired. 861 00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:16,042 I mean, how else would we explain it? 862 00:52:16,200 --> 00:52:18,726 Say that Scat went temporarily insane? 863 00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:20,962 - Well... - Okay, the real question here 864 00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:24,010 is who would you rather have running your marketing department? 865 00:52:24,200 --> 00:52:27,409 Someone with integrity, or someone who will do anything to get to the top, 866 00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:30,086 - no matter what the cost. - Hmmm. 867 00:52:30,240 --> 00:52:32,129 Which Scat will also do, 868 00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:34,487 - but with integrity. - Scat is very new here. 869 00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:36,768 I am not. 870 00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:56,161 - You had to open the coffin. - I hope you and Pete 871 00:52:56,360 --> 00:52:58,010 live happily ever after. 872 00:52:58,160 --> 00:53:01,004 You have no idea what you're talking about. 873 00:53:04,280 --> 00:53:06,851 I guess I am that naive moron, huh? 874 00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:13,410 Thanks for your loyalty, Six. I appreciate it. 875 00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:18,208 You have no idea what you're talking about. 876 00:53:25,200 --> 00:53:27,680 To listen to your messages, press one. 877 00:53:27,840 --> 00:53:30,081 ...First new message. 878 00:53:30,240 --> 00:53:34,211 Received today at 2:52 AM. 879 00:53:35,240 --> 00:53:38,687 Six, it really is so clever! 880 00:53:38,840 --> 00:53:40,410 Sexy Six. 881 00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:42,881 Look, I just have one question for you. 882 00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:45,202 Did you make him breakfast, huh? 883 00:53:45,360 --> 00:53:48,330 Are you guys a team now? You and Pete? Screw you. 884 00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:50,244 I miss you. 885 00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:55,764 Come on, break's over. 886 00:53:55,960 --> 00:53:57,883 Shoe department needs your help. 887 00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:00,611 They can only find a seven, the customer needs a six. 888 00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:04,364 On your right, 889 00:54:04,520 --> 00:54:07,205 we've got the weeping clown of the meatpacking district. 890 00:54:07,360 --> 00:54:10,443 The old butchers used to come out here and weep 891 00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:13,723 for the slaughter of their kill and... 892 00:54:16,240 --> 00:54:17,890 Come on! 893 00:54:18,040 --> 00:54:19,963 - Two hours before we... - Heads up. 894 00:54:20,120 --> 00:54:21,929 Scat ...get to our destination. 895 00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:23,764 - I don't know why, but I'm... - There's goes our man. 896 00:54:23,920 --> 00:54:27,129 I'm just a magnet for young, young women. 897 00:54:27,320 --> 00:54:28,731 Exactly how young? 898 00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:33,240 Thanks. 899 00:54:36,560 --> 00:54:38,722 Go! 900 00:54:43,160 --> 00:54:45,367 I will not get drawn into this with you again. 901 00:54:45,520 --> 00:54:48,410 It is Fukk. It's pronounced "fuck." It's pronoun... 902 00:54:48,560 --> 00:54:50,324 That's what everybody's calling it. 903 00:54:50,480 --> 00:54:52,687 It has nothing to do with "fook." It's not Swedish. 904 00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:55,320 It's not "fook," it's "fuk." "Fuk." 905 00:54:55,520 --> 00:54:58,490 - He looked taller on TV. - They always do. 906 00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:00,210 - What's with the rickshaw? - What? 907 00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:06,447 Taiwanese cross-promotion? Rickshaw? 908 00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:10,002 - The pedicab? - Yeah. Rickshaw. 909 00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:11,884 Research, right? 910 00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:14,361 - For a new campaign? - Hmm? 911 00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:16,124 - Who are you? - We are not at liberty 912 00:55:16,280 --> 00:55:18,089 to reveal our employer, Mr. Scat, 913 00:55:18,240 --> 00:55:22,484 but we can say they turned over $18.4 billion last year. 914 00:55:22,640 --> 00:55:24,051 ZephCo? 915 00:55:26,320 --> 00:55:27,970 That's too specific. 916 00:55:42,680 --> 00:55:44,011 Guys... 917 00:55:44,160 --> 00:55:46,640 Mr. Scat, we just want to talk, just talk. 918 00:55:55,000 --> 00:55:56,650 Yes, I did. 919 00:55:56,800 --> 00:55:58,609 Yes, I did. 920 00:55:59,600 --> 00:56:01,523 I can't say no. I can't say no. 921 00:56:26,720 --> 00:56:27,767 No. 922 00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:03,650 Research. 923 00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:07,048 Let's talk straight. 924 00:57:08,920 --> 00:57:11,969 ZephCo doesn't know what you were doing with that funeral stunt, 925 00:57:12,120 --> 00:57:15,727 but whatever it was, it was brilliant because everyone's talking about it. 926 00:57:15,880 --> 00:57:18,406 Here's the thing, we have great marketing already, 927 00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:20,961 all these competitions and giveaways. 928 00:57:21,160 --> 00:57:23,561 - We have excellent execution. - No, you don't. 929 00:57:23,720 --> 00:57:25,609 Yes...? 930 00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:27,205 Look, we need to beat Addy. 931 00:57:27,360 --> 00:57:30,842 And we were doing just fine until guess who comes along. 932 00:57:32,040 --> 00:57:34,441 - Sneaky Pete! - The inventor of Fukk! 933 00:57:34,600 --> 00:57:36,250 - Fuk. Fuk. - It's "fuck." 934 00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:38,971 - You know about Fukk? - Yeah, I know about Fukk. 935 00:57:39,120 --> 00:57:43,489 The drink is genius. Naturally we immediately tried to poach Mr. Pete, 936 00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:46,166 but since he turned us down, here we are. 937 00:57:46,320 --> 00:57:48,846 We feel you have the potential 938 00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:50,684 to be the next Sneaky Pete. 939 00:57:50,840 --> 00:57:52,808 Now we know you worked with him 940 00:57:52,960 --> 00:57:56,169 on the "Die for a Fuk" campaign, right? 941 00:57:56,320 --> 00:57:57,560 You were... fuck. You... 942 00:57:57,720 --> 00:57:59,165 You were clearly... "fuk." 943 00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:02,324 You were clearly a team at the funeral. 944 00:58:02,480 --> 00:58:06,485 Right? And now this whole guerilla marketing, 945 00:58:06,640 --> 00:58:09,564 you know, with the rickshaws... genius, genius! 946 00:58:09,720 --> 00:58:12,644 Genius. It speaks volumes to us 947 00:58:12,840 --> 00:58:15,491 that Mr. Pete trusts you as much as he does. 948 00:58:15,640 --> 00:58:17,244 Volumes. 949 00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:21,166 And we have been empowered by the CEO 950 00:58:22,360 --> 00:58:24,806 to hire you right now. 951 00:58:26,160 --> 00:58:28,162 - Okay, look... - We get it. 952 00:58:28,320 --> 00:58:30,846 - You're happy at Addison. - I'm not happy at Addison. 953 00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:33,082 - I'm not even at Addison. - Shut up, Scat! 954 00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:36,682 We're hoping that our ridiculous salary package 955 00:58:36,840 --> 00:58:38,729 might change your mind. 956 00:58:38,880 --> 00:58:41,690 - Exactly how ridiculous? 957 00:58:44,240 --> 00:58:46,242 I think it's safe to say 958 00:58:46,400 --> 00:58:48,562 very ridiculous. 959 00:58:48,720 --> 00:58:50,484 Preposterous, even. 960 00:59:01,200 --> 00:59:03,282 - It's a great opportunity. - Yep. 961 00:59:06,800 --> 00:59:08,529 - It's a lot of money. - Yep. 962 00:59:13,120 --> 00:59:15,646 - What was your real name? - Six. 963 00:59:21,640 --> 00:59:24,484 You have 62 direct-line employees... 964 00:59:24,640 --> 00:59:26,244 water, sparkling... 965 00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:28,687 not including the call center. 966 00:59:28,840 --> 00:59:32,003 Scat, Six... Charles, Buckey. 967 00:59:32,160 --> 00:59:35,482 Your personal bathroom is right through there. 968 00:59:35,640 --> 00:59:37,768 What is this? We need to get this... 969 00:59:37,920 --> 00:59:39,684 No no no. 970 00:59:39,840 --> 00:59:42,571 This is not for me. I thought we covered that. 971 00:59:42,760 --> 00:59:46,526 Excuse me. Your remaining budget is $200 million. 972 00:59:51,680 --> 00:59:53,125 Your office. 973 01:00:05,480 --> 01:00:06,641 What do you think? 974 01:00:07,720 --> 01:00:09,051 It'll do. 975 01:00:09,200 --> 01:00:11,521 I appreciate your coming on so quickly. 976 01:00:11,680 --> 01:00:13,921 - We need you. - Of course. We're happy to be here. 977 01:00:14,080 --> 01:00:17,004 You don't understand. You've got to help me. 978 01:00:17,160 --> 01:00:18,650 I have stock options. 979 01:00:18,840 --> 01:00:20,649 We are very committed to making this work. 980 01:00:20,840 --> 01:00:22,490 In fact, let me ask you something. How do you feel 981 01:00:22,680 --> 01:00:24,967 about attack marketing? I know there's some potential for backlash, 982 01:00:25,120 --> 01:00:26,610 but in a basic duopoly like this 983 01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:29,764 diluting their USP could be nothing but beneficial for us. 984 01:00:29,920 --> 01:00:31,524 I don't know what the hell you just said. 985 01:00:31,680 --> 01:00:33,648 - Just sell product. - Absolutely. 986 01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:34,801 Can do, sir. 987 01:00:34,960 --> 01:00:36,450 Good. 988 01:00:44,640 --> 01:00:46,130 You're exactly the same. 989 01:00:47,360 --> 01:00:49,806 I'm sorry, did I allude to being someone I'm not? 990 01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:51,843 - Are you trying to be ironic? - No. 991 01:00:52,040 --> 01:00:53,720 Anyone who works with you loses their soul. 992 01:00:53,760 --> 01:00:55,364 - I'm sorry to hear that. - That I lost my soul? You should be. 993 01:00:55,520 --> 01:00:57,409 No, that you don't want to work, Scat. 994 01:00:57,560 --> 01:01:00,803 - Stop being so dramatic. - Oh God! 995 01:01:03,360 --> 01:01:05,089 You couldn't figure out how to fuck me. 996 01:01:05,240 --> 01:01:07,208 So get over it. 997 01:01:07,360 --> 01:01:09,806 - We have work to do. - I neverjust wanted to fuck you. 998 01:01:09,960 --> 01:01:11,724 Everyone wants to just fuck me. 999 01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:13,450 I'm different! 1000 01:01:15,680 --> 01:01:17,762 You're still a guy, right? 1001 01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:21,567 Thinks with his dick. 1002 01:01:21,720 --> 01:01:24,724 If that were the case, I could have settled for a whole lot less. 1003 01:01:24,880 --> 01:01:27,400 And don't tell me that I just want you because I can't have you, 1004 01:01:27,440 --> 01:01:28,885 because that's... 1005 01:01:29,080 --> 01:01:30,923 that's... 1006 01:01:34,120 --> 01:01:35,645 Call the SMT. 1007 01:01:35,800 --> 01:01:37,325 Now. 1008 01:01:40,720 --> 01:01:43,530 The SMT stands for Senior Management Team, 1009 01:01:43,720 --> 01:01:47,167 an acronym that Scat picked up in "Business 185: 1010 01:01:47,320 --> 01:01:49,687 Understanding the Corporate Structure." 1011 01:01:52,800 --> 01:01:54,564 "Average Kok." 1012 01:02:00,960 --> 01:02:03,281 Just have to take a look at it. 1013 01:02:03,440 --> 01:02:06,649 Yeah, now isn't that basically Fukk? 1014 01:02:06,800 --> 01:02:09,690 Who wants to drink a Fukk when you can down a Kok? 1015 01:02:12,120 --> 01:02:15,283 Kok is like Fukk for sissies. 1016 01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:17,249 It's "fuk." "Fuk." 1017 01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:19,971 The important word here isn't "Kok." 1018 01:02:22,280 --> 01:02:23,520 "Average"? 1019 01:02:23,680 --> 01:02:25,205 Here's how it works. 1020 01:02:26,920 --> 01:02:28,840 The less religious you are, the more likely it is 1021 01:02:28,960 --> 01:02:30,610 you're interested in celebrities. 1022 01:02:30,760 --> 01:02:33,047 Know that old question, "if you could have dinner with any five people, 1023 01:02:33,200 --> 01:02:35,248 living or dead, who would you choose?" 1024 01:02:35,400 --> 01:02:37,323 Nobody ever picks their friends. 1025 01:02:38,640 --> 01:02:41,166 We're not going to sell this product to your friends. 1026 01:02:41,360 --> 01:02:44,125 Not yet, anyway. Now Zeph is way too mainstream for this, 1027 01:02:44,320 --> 01:02:46,322 so we set up a subsidiary that... 1028 01:02:46,480 --> 01:02:48,847 - What the... - ...looks independent. We call it Z2. 1029 01:02:49,000 --> 01:02:52,004 Z2 releases Average Kok with absolutely no above-the-line, 1030 01:02:52,200 --> 01:02:54,646 but a ton of astroturfing, word-of-mouth, 1031 01:02:54,800 --> 01:02:57,326 seeding, black lemmings, the works. 1032 01:02:58,520 --> 01:03:01,683 Once sales are solid, we send a crate of product 1033 01:03:01,880 --> 01:03:03,848 to the 100 hottest people in the country. 1034 01:03:04,000 --> 01:03:06,446 But not Average Kok. We tell them, 1035 01:03:06,600 --> 01:03:10,127 "For you, we've got the real thing." A personalized can 1036 01:03:10,280 --> 01:03:13,045 with their name and their number on the back. 1037 01:03:13,200 --> 01:03:15,521 Now they're intrigued. They see our invitation 1038 01:03:15,680 --> 01:03:19,002 to send one of their people to a closed meeting at the Z2 warehouse. 1039 01:03:19,160 --> 01:03:21,083 And there, we explain how it works. 1040 01:03:26,400 --> 01:03:27,890 Ladies and gentlemen, 1041 01:03:29,800 --> 01:03:32,485 there are 100 numbered cans... 1042 01:03:32,640 --> 01:03:35,689 each linked to a specific celebrity. 1043 01:03:35,840 --> 01:03:38,081 For example, the Hilton 88s. 1044 01:03:38,240 --> 01:03:42,450 Ms. Hilton is currently in possession of the only 88s 1045 01:03:42,600 --> 01:03:44,120 in the world, outside of this company. 1046 01:03:44,200 --> 01:03:47,647 And we will not sell any 88s to anyone 1047 01:03:47,840 --> 01:03:50,127 unless they bring in an unopened 88. 1048 01:03:50,280 --> 01:03:52,965 That's a sign that Ms. Hilton considers them worthy enough 1049 01:03:53,120 --> 01:03:54,724 to be seen with her product. 1050 01:03:54,880 --> 01:03:57,724 That person may then purchase as many 88s as they'd like, 1051 01:03:57,880 --> 01:04:00,042 but no other number. 1052 01:04:00,200 --> 01:04:02,168 Here's the catch. 1053 01:04:02,320 --> 01:04:03,765 If someone brings us an 88 1054 01:04:03,920 --> 01:04:06,844 and we don't feel they're Kok material, 1055 01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:09,401 or if our people see someone in public 1056 01:04:09,560 --> 01:04:12,643 with an 88 we don't feel is worthy of Kok, 1057 01:04:12,800 --> 01:04:15,451 we will terminate the 88s. 1058 01:04:15,600 --> 01:04:18,046 No exceptions. No appeals. 1059 01:04:18,200 --> 01:04:20,851 This product is image in a can. 1060 01:04:21,040 --> 01:04:23,281 We take image very seriously. 1061 01:04:23,440 --> 01:04:27,161 We take it as seriously as you take the clients that you represent. 1062 01:04:29,240 --> 01:04:30,844 That's it, people. 1063 01:04:31,000 --> 01:04:33,048 Those of you who brought cans can begin. 1064 01:04:39,720 --> 01:04:42,121 As soon as word gets out about this, sales of Average Kok 1065 01:04:42,280 --> 01:04:45,887 will free-fall, sure, but demand for Celebrity Kok will soar, 1066 01:04:46,040 --> 01:04:49,601 driven by the implicit endorsement of the world's top celebrities. 1067 01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:52,650 Now they won't be able to buy it, but they'll be desperate for it. 1068 01:04:52,800 --> 01:04:54,404 And the real beauty of all of this 1069 01:04:54,560 --> 01:04:56,722 is what they want to buy... it isn't the drink. 1070 01:04:56,880 --> 01:04:58,769 It's the marketing, I mean, the image, 1071 01:04:58,920 --> 01:05:01,641 - something that didn't exist... - Let me hold you up there a minute. 1072 01:05:01,720 --> 01:05:03,370 What does this product taste like? 1073 01:05:03,520 --> 01:05:05,682 - I'm sorry, what did you say? - Taste? 1074 01:05:05,880 --> 01:05:07,882 - Don't you think that's important? - No no, I don't. Look, 1075 01:05:08,040 --> 01:05:10,771 this product could be sneakers or t-shirts or glow-in-the-dark headbands. 1076 01:05:10,920 --> 01:05:12,604 It's not about the fluid, man. It's about the image! 1077 01:05:12,800 --> 01:05:14,928 70% of what we perceive as taste is psychological. 1078 01:05:15,080 --> 01:05:16,445 As long as this thing tastes better than urine, 1079 01:05:16,640 --> 01:05:18,290 people are literally going to convince themselves 1080 01:05:18,440 --> 01:05:19,965 - that they like it. - Actually, people can believe 1081 01:05:20,120 --> 01:05:21,531 - they like the taste of urine. - Really? 1082 01:05:21,680 --> 01:05:23,523 - We tested it once. - Sports drink? 1083 01:05:23,680 --> 01:05:25,284 We tested it once. We didn't sell it. 1084 01:05:25,480 --> 01:05:27,448 Look, I can't explain it any clearer than this, 1085 01:05:27,600 --> 01:05:29,967 the success of this product... stop it! 1086 01:05:30,120 --> 01:05:32,771 The success of this product depends on people being shallow, 1087 01:05:32,920 --> 01:05:37,130 superficial, self-obsessed, greedy and desperate for attention. 1088 01:05:37,280 --> 01:05:39,806 This is the American dream in a fucking can. 1089 01:06:08,000 --> 01:06:10,082 A 34 just showed up on eBay. 1090 01:06:10,240 --> 01:06:13,210 Find Roberts for me and tell him I need a mark-up on Red Bull in Vancouver. 1091 01:06:13,400 --> 01:06:15,562 - Are you going to answer that? - What's the 34, the Cruise? 1092 01:06:15,720 --> 01:06:19,122 The Jolie. Current bid's at $3,000. Do not answer the phone like that again. 1093 01:06:19,280 --> 01:06:21,203 I saw you. Don't look at me like that. 1094 01:06:21,360 --> 01:06:23,203 I have Ms. Barrymore's people on the line. 1095 01:06:23,360 --> 01:06:25,806 - They're threatening to sue. - She should have thought of that before 1096 01:06:26,000 --> 01:06:27,365 she started handing them out at concerts. 1097 01:06:27,520 --> 01:06:29,170 - I saw a fat guy drinking one. - We had no choice. 1098 01:06:29,320 --> 01:06:31,687 - Mr. Scat. Busy, very busy. - Yes sir. 1099 01:06:31,880 --> 01:06:34,451 - I like that, there's just one thing. - What's that, sir? 1100 01:06:34,600 --> 01:06:37,520 You're not selling very much product. In fact, you're refusing to sell it. 1101 01:06:37,680 --> 01:06:39,569 Correct, sir. That's why people want to buy it. 1102 01:06:39,760 --> 01:06:42,161 - But my stock options. - Sir, do you realize 1103 01:06:42,320 --> 01:06:45,403 what would happen if we released Kok to the general public now? 1104 01:06:45,600 --> 01:06:48,206 Sure, sales would be massive, but all those celebrities 1105 01:06:48,400 --> 01:06:51,370 who basically built our brand, they'd be humiliated. 1106 01:06:51,520 --> 01:06:53,409 It'd be like us saying to the world, "Hey! 1107 01:06:53,560 --> 01:06:55,961 We just fucked over the world's top celebrities!" 1108 01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:00,480 - You're a genius. - Thank you, sir! 1109 01:07:02,600 --> 01:07:05,490 Rumor has it they're grooming him to be the next VP. 1110 01:07:05,640 --> 01:07:07,642 Don't you have somewhere to be? 1111 01:07:16,640 --> 01:07:18,608 What? 1112 01:07:20,320 --> 01:07:21,321 Do you, um... 1113 01:07:23,480 --> 01:07:25,323 do you love all of this? 1114 01:07:26,600 --> 01:07:29,171 What sort of stupid question is that? 1115 01:07:31,400 --> 01:07:33,164 Do you? 1116 01:07:35,360 --> 01:07:37,806 Scat I think I'm like that... 1117 01:07:37,960 --> 01:07:40,088 that kid who still believed in Santa Claus 1118 01:07:40,280 --> 01:07:42,442 until some asshole kid told him that it didn't exist. 1119 01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:44,170 I am that asshole kid, huh? 1120 01:07:44,320 --> 01:07:46,368 Scat The verdict's still out. 1121 01:07:46,520 --> 01:07:50,286 What sort of profound nonsense is that? 1122 01:07:50,440 --> 01:07:52,044 We're about to go public. 1123 01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:53,531 Oh... we're live. 1124 01:08:14,560 --> 01:08:17,769 Mr. Scat? Mr. Scat? My name is Kit. 1125 01:08:17,920 --> 01:08:22,244 I don't know if you've ever considered taking on a protégé, but I would be... 1126 01:08:22,400 --> 01:08:24,280 - Great stuff. - ...honored to follow you around 1127 01:08:24,320 --> 01:08:25,606 and watch everything you do. 1128 01:08:25,760 --> 01:08:28,650 I have requests for interviews from print and TV and radio. 1129 01:08:28,800 --> 01:08:31,007 Also, I know you're really busy right now, 1130 01:08:31,160 --> 01:08:33,970 but if you ever get lonely or you just want to talk... 1131 01:08:34,120 --> 01:08:35,565 Okay okay okay. 1132 01:08:35,720 --> 01:08:38,121 You'll love this, okay? 1133 01:08:38,280 --> 01:08:40,806 Entrepreneurial Solutions for Market Failure," 1134 01:08:40,960 --> 01:08:44,442 you learn that once you make it to the top, in any crisis that may arise 1135 01:08:44,640 --> 01:08:47,246 it then becomes your job to reset perception 1136 01:08:47,400 --> 01:08:49,767 through corporate restructuring. 1137 01:08:52,440 --> 01:08:56,525 A young kid committed suicide today in St. Louis. 1138 01:08:58,120 --> 01:09:00,600 Left a suicide note on the back 1139 01:09:00,760 --> 01:09:03,525 of a hand-drawn picture of a Kok can, 1140 01:09:03,680 --> 01:09:05,842 with the number 17 and his name. 1141 01:09:08,520 --> 01:09:10,409 CNN is going live 1142 01:09:10,560 --> 01:09:12,767 at 8:00 PM with the number 17 1143 01:09:12,960 --> 01:09:16,123 being "Damien White's lucky number." 1144 01:09:17,880 --> 01:09:20,451 It's obviously uncorroborated. 1145 01:09:20,600 --> 01:09:22,648 Okay yeah, the note says... 1146 01:09:22,840 --> 01:09:24,569 I don't want to know what the note says. 1147 01:09:24,760 --> 01:09:26,000 No, I got it. It's right here. It's right here. 1148 01:09:26,160 --> 01:09:29,846 "I love everybody. I just wish I could have been cooler." 1149 01:09:30,000 --> 01:09:31,570 It's Pete. 1150 01:09:31,720 --> 01:09:34,610 The "I" s are all lower-cased. 1151 01:09:34,760 --> 01:09:36,250 Now that... 1152 01:09:36,440 --> 01:09:38,442 see, that's the sign of a depressive... 1153 01:09:38,600 --> 01:09:41,490 - I gotta call Six. - Somebody that has a low opinion... 1154 01:09:41,640 --> 01:09:44,610 Don't call Six. Don't call Six. The kid's dead, Scat. 1155 01:09:44,760 --> 01:09:47,650 We had our research department fact check. 1156 01:09:47,800 --> 01:09:51,088 Okay? The mother's already hired a lawyer. 1157 01:10:01,840 --> 01:10:03,649 We need you to go live with this 1158 01:10:03,840 --> 01:10:05,683 before the 8:00 news. Okay? 1159 01:10:05,840 --> 01:10:09,845 We've arranged a pre-taped CNBC interview. 1160 01:10:11,000 --> 01:10:13,321 You'll need to... 1161 01:10:13,520 --> 01:10:15,363 spin this. 1162 01:10:19,200 --> 01:10:21,202 You want me to spin the suicide? 1163 01:10:21,400 --> 01:10:23,050 That's what we pay you for. 1164 01:10:23,200 --> 01:10:24,611 We just want to come up 1165 01:10:24,760 --> 01:10:27,047 with an angle on this together. 1166 01:10:27,240 --> 01:10:29,447 We couldn't... bup bup bup. 1167 01:10:29,600 --> 01:10:31,125 You want me to fire someone? 1168 01:10:33,480 --> 01:10:35,448 Yeah. 1169 01:10:35,600 --> 01:10:38,126 Who am I going to fire, Davidson? 1170 01:10:38,280 --> 01:10:40,248 It was my idea, it was my concept. 1171 01:10:40,400 --> 01:10:43,370 Yeah, it was a great concept. That's not the issue. 1172 01:10:50,080 --> 01:10:51,320 Where's Six? 1173 01:10:57,160 --> 01:11:00,289 Personally, I never had a connection. 1174 01:11:00,480 --> 01:11:03,211 There was no synergy, but I tried. 1175 01:11:04,600 --> 01:11:06,090 I think that'll be enough. 1176 01:11:09,240 --> 01:11:11,402 Six, look, call me back, okay? 1177 01:11:11,560 --> 01:11:13,244 Um, don't go back to the office. 1178 01:11:13,400 --> 01:11:15,801 Just call me back and I'll come meet you wherever. 1179 01:11:19,520 --> 01:11:21,443 Yes, you'd be working directly under me. 1180 01:11:21,600 --> 01:11:23,921 And you would have quite a bit of creative freedom. 1181 01:11:24,080 --> 01:11:27,004 Um, it's just I'm very excited about this opportunity. 1182 01:11:27,160 --> 01:11:30,209 What do you think that you can bring to the next campaign? 1183 01:11:30,360 --> 01:11:31,805 Hey, Jen, hey, it's Scat. 1184 01:11:31,960 --> 01:11:33,689 Where are you? Jameson's looking for you. 1185 01:11:33,840 --> 01:11:35,808 Look, where's Six, Jen? Where was her 2:00? 1186 01:11:35,960 --> 01:11:38,281 She's interviewing a new creative. 1187 01:11:38,480 --> 01:11:40,400 It's in the Village. It's a lunch thing, I think. 1188 01:11:43,960 --> 01:11:46,042 Thank you. 1189 01:11:48,640 --> 01:11:50,130 Thank you for lunch. 1190 01:11:52,880 --> 01:11:54,848 Are you fucking kidding me? 1191 01:11:59,200 --> 01:12:02,602 - This is Scat. - I have heard so much about you. 1192 01:12:02,760 --> 01:12:06,606 - You ignore my calls for this? - It's not what you think, Scat. 1193 01:12:06,800 --> 01:12:08,802 Of course it's not what I think, 1194 01:12:08,960 --> 01:12:10,689 because it's you. 1195 01:12:10,840 --> 01:12:13,081 - You're never what I think. - What do you care? 1196 01:12:13,240 --> 01:12:15,766 - What do I care? - Yeah, what the hell do you care? 1197 01:12:17,440 --> 01:12:19,522 They're grooming you for VP. 1198 01:12:26,240 --> 01:12:28,368 You've got some great ideas, and I look forward 1199 01:12:28,520 --> 01:12:30,090 to seeing how we can incorporate them 1200 01:12:30,280 --> 01:12:32,851 into ZephCo's current campaigns, which will probab... 1201 01:12:33,000 --> 01:12:36,004 She always starts with those fucking ideas. 1202 01:12:47,920 --> 01:12:49,968 Welcome to ZephCo. 1203 01:12:50,120 --> 01:12:51,565 - Thank you. - Thanks. 1204 01:13:07,080 --> 01:13:09,162 We're live in 30 seconds. 1205 01:13:09,360 --> 01:13:11,488 - Did you make the market? - Just... yep. 1206 01:13:11,640 --> 01:13:13,927 - Makeup's clear. - Want me to roll the tape? 1207 01:13:14,080 --> 01:13:15,366 - Perfect. - Here you go. 1208 01:13:15,520 --> 01:13:17,682 Some sad breaking news coming to us tonight. 1209 01:13:17,840 --> 01:13:21,481 Damien White, a young teenager, age 16, has committed suicide. 1210 01:13:21,640 --> 01:13:25,122 He left behind a suicide note that reads, 1211 01:13:25,280 --> 01:13:26,770 "I love everybody. 1212 01:13:26,960 --> 01:13:29,247 I just wish I could have been cooler." 1213 01:13:29,400 --> 01:13:31,129 On the back, a hand-drawn... 1214 01:13:31,280 --> 01:13:33,806 Let me just check your microphone. 1215 01:13:36,920 --> 01:13:38,649 - Allegedly Damien... - Jen, it's Six. 1216 01:13:38,800 --> 01:13:41,167 ...believed himself cool enough to buy Kok, the ultra-elite 1217 01:13:41,320 --> 01:13:43,687 - celebrity energy drink sold only to... - Is Jameson there? 1218 01:13:43,840 --> 01:13:46,161 ...100 celebrities until yesterday... 1219 01:13:46,320 --> 01:13:48,402 ...when it was released to the general public. 1220 01:13:51,360 --> 01:13:53,124 Celebrities have been tweeting... 1221 01:13:53,320 --> 01:13:54,970 Good evening, I'm Lisa Simmons. 1222 01:13:55,120 --> 01:13:57,771 We have some sad breaking news coming to us tonight. 1223 01:13:57,920 --> 01:13:59,888 - We have sad breaking news. - Quiet please! 1224 01:14:00,080 --> 01:14:04,005 Damien White, a young teenager, age 16, has committed suicide. 1225 01:14:12,520 --> 01:14:14,329 Hello hello. 1226 01:14:22,000 --> 01:14:23,331 What are you doing here? 1227 01:14:23,520 --> 01:14:25,761 Look, I need a place to stay. 1228 01:14:25,920 --> 01:14:27,888 That Three, man... 1229 01:14:28,040 --> 01:14:29,610 she took my job at Addy. 1230 01:14:29,760 --> 01:14:31,489 You knew that, right? 1231 01:14:34,240 --> 01:14:35,651 - No, I didn't. - Yeah. 1232 01:14:35,800 --> 01:14:38,804 They had to fire someone for letting you and Six go. 1233 01:14:42,800 --> 01:14:44,882 Hey, I'm sorry about... 1234 01:14:45,080 --> 01:14:47,526 It's all right. It's just business. 1235 01:14:47,680 --> 01:14:50,524 Yeah. 1236 01:14:52,400 --> 01:14:54,607 I'm thinking of changing my image. 1237 01:14:56,360 --> 01:14:58,010 Really? 1238 01:14:58,160 --> 01:15:01,243 I liked the whole silent... thing. 1239 01:15:01,400 --> 01:15:03,562 Yeah, but it's kind of limiting. 1240 01:15:03,720 --> 01:15:06,326 There's only so far you can go with that. 1241 01:15:07,800 --> 01:15:08,961 You know... 1242 01:15:09,120 --> 01:15:10,884 you were a really good arch-enemy. 1243 01:15:11,040 --> 01:15:12,690 - Yeah? - Yeah. 1244 01:15:12,840 --> 01:15:14,922 Especially after you got me fired. 1245 01:15:15,080 --> 01:15:17,890 I was fuming. 1246 01:15:18,040 --> 01:15:20,611 Thanks. 1247 01:15:22,760 --> 01:15:25,445 I'm in love with a girl. 1248 01:15:25,600 --> 01:15:28,126 I don't even know her real name. 1249 01:15:31,560 --> 01:15:34,450 You, my friend, are in love with an image. 1250 01:15:36,040 --> 01:15:38,088 - Is that bad? - Eh... 1251 01:15:44,640 --> 01:15:46,608 Six quit. 1252 01:15:46,760 --> 01:15:47,966 She quit... 1253 01:15:49,480 --> 01:15:51,721 because of you. 1254 01:15:56,440 --> 01:15:59,284 ...cool enough to buy their product. How do they recover, John? 1255 01:15:59,440 --> 01:16:03,047 How does ZephCo turn this around and use it to their advantage? 1256 01:16:03,240 --> 01:16:04,810 Well, they don't. 1257 01:16:04,960 --> 01:16:08,248 Right now ZephCo should be entirely on the defensive. 1258 01:16:08,400 --> 01:16:11,370 A young child has committed suicide because this company 1259 01:16:11,520 --> 01:16:14,171 refused to sell them a drink. This is a prime example 1260 01:16:14,320 --> 01:16:16,687 of corporate bullying as far as I'm concerned. 1261 01:16:16,880 --> 01:16:19,121 - "Corporate bullying"? - Is this real? 1262 01:16:19,280 --> 01:16:21,851 That's because companies usually don't refuse to sell... 1263 01:16:22,000 --> 01:16:24,048 He actually killed himself? 1264 01:16:25,760 --> 01:16:26,807 Yeah. 1265 01:16:28,000 --> 01:16:29,809 Yeah, the family already lawyered up. 1266 01:16:29,960 --> 01:16:32,201 What usually happens in circumstances like this 1267 01:16:32,400 --> 01:16:34,528 is that ZephCo would identify a fall guy, 1268 01:16:34,680 --> 01:16:37,321 someone in the marketing department, and terminate them publicly... 1269 01:16:37,440 --> 01:16:39,488 He's just an intern, Scat. 1270 01:16:41,400 --> 01:16:43,721 They're grooming you for VP. 1271 01:16:43,880 --> 01:16:46,531 I feel like I'm losing you. 1272 01:16:50,360 --> 01:16:52,840 Jameson won't take any of my calls. 1273 01:17:05,000 --> 01:17:07,446 You're supposed to let me go. 1274 01:17:10,000 --> 01:17:11,889 That's why you came here, right? 1275 01:17:41,440 --> 01:17:43,727 You know, I was a ballerina. 1276 01:17:49,240 --> 01:17:51,641 I had dreams... 1277 01:17:54,040 --> 01:17:56,327 like the kind we sell to people. 1278 01:18:13,520 --> 01:18:16,285 I was going to go to the Levinheimer Academy... 1279 01:18:18,320 --> 01:18:20,641 travel around Europe. 1280 01:18:26,520 --> 01:18:29,251 It wasn't just a goal, Scat. 1281 01:18:33,120 --> 01:18:35,122 It was an absolute. 1282 01:18:41,000 --> 01:18:43,287 And then I went to Yale... 1283 01:18:45,760 --> 01:18:47,728 and I went to London. 1284 01:18:47,880 --> 01:18:50,042 I did my audition. 1285 01:18:51,680 --> 01:18:55,127 And they told me I was missing a muscle in my calf. 1286 01:18:59,560 --> 01:19:02,131 I couldn't even do the battement glisse. 1287 01:19:03,240 --> 01:19:04,651 A simple move. 1288 01:19:06,080 --> 01:19:07,809 I was missing a muscle in my leg 1289 01:19:07,960 --> 01:19:10,167 and there was nothing I could do about it. 1290 01:19:10,320 --> 01:19:12,084 Even 1291 01:19:18,840 --> 01:19:20,649 I decided then... 1292 01:19:22,560 --> 01:19:24,608 that no one was ever going to be able to tell me 1293 01:19:24,760 --> 01:19:26,842 what I could and couldn't do again. 1294 01:19:28,640 --> 01:19:30,165 Even 1295 01:19:39,720 --> 01:19:41,404 And now I'm here, 1296 01:19:43,200 --> 01:19:45,168 sitting in a bar, 1297 01:19:47,160 --> 01:19:49,003 waiting for you to fire me. 1298 01:19:53,440 --> 01:19:55,727 - Ironic. - Is that real? 1299 01:19:55,880 --> 01:19:57,120 What? 1300 01:20:04,120 --> 01:20:07,169 Do you know how hard it is for me to tell you the truth? 1301 01:20:13,160 --> 01:20:14,924 So you wanted to be a ballerina? 1302 01:20:20,320 --> 01:20:22,368 I wanted to be... 1303 01:20:30,080 --> 01:20:32,287 Right. Okay. 1304 01:20:34,880 --> 01:20:36,644 Try our new rejuvenating formula. 1305 01:20:36,800 --> 01:20:39,007 You'll look younger, feel younger... 1306 01:20:39,160 --> 01:20:41,686 We're here with the head 1307 01:20:41,840 --> 01:20:43,683 of New Products and Marketing for ZephCo. 1308 01:20:43,840 --> 01:20:46,047 Mr. Scat, thank you for 'pining us. 1309 01:20:46,200 --> 01:20:48,806 I only wish it was under better circumstances. 1310 01:20:48,960 --> 01:20:51,406 I want to offer my sincere condolences 1311 01:20:51,560 --> 01:20:53,562 to the White family on behalf of ZephCo. 1312 01:20:53,720 --> 01:20:55,643 Mr. Scat, it doesn't seem like the death 1313 01:20:55,800 --> 01:20:57,689 of an innocent teenager has affected you. 1314 01:20:57,840 --> 01:21:00,446 If you're asking me to acknowledge the fact that 1315 01:21:00,600 --> 01:21:03,171 through this ad campaign people will literally 1316 01:21:03,320 --> 01:21:06,164 kill themselves to get their hands on what I'm selling... 1317 01:21:07,320 --> 01:21:09,209 then yes. 1318 01:21:11,600 --> 01:21:13,568 Look, as far as I'm concerned, 1319 01:21:13,760 --> 01:21:16,445 this is one of the most successful ad campaigns of all time. 1320 01:21:16,640 --> 01:21:19,405 It will certainly go down in history as one of the most daring. 1321 01:21:19,600 --> 01:21:23,810 I know who Damien White is... or who he was. 1322 01:21:23,960 --> 01:21:26,122 Because I fell in love with the dream too. 1323 01:21:29,000 --> 01:21:31,321 But I don't want to spend the rest of my life 1324 01:21:31,480 --> 01:21:32,845 chasing after an enigma. 1325 01:21:38,280 --> 01:21:39,805 And neither did Damien. 1326 01:21:42,720 --> 01:21:44,768 Look, I don't think that anybody 1327 01:21:44,960 --> 01:21:47,247 is taking the death of this teenager very seriously 1328 01:21:47,400 --> 01:21:49,243 because they're still buying my product. 1329 01:21:49,400 --> 01:21:52,131 This means that you've made a conscious decision 1330 01:21:52,280 --> 01:21:55,284 to buy this drink after Damien White's death... 1331 01:21:55,440 --> 01:21:57,966 after his suicide... because it's even cooler. 1332 01:22:02,720 --> 01:22:06,167 In fact ZephCo's stock has tripled since the suicide. 1333 01:22:06,320 --> 01:22:10,006 So if Damien White's death means anything to you, then don't buy Kok. 1334 01:22:10,160 --> 01:22:12,128 But that'll never happen 1335 01:22:12,320 --> 01:22:15,642 because you believe in the dream, the fantasy. 1336 01:22:18,040 --> 01:22:20,611 Buy Kok. Become perfect. 1337 01:22:25,320 --> 01:22:27,004 Scat! 1338 01:22:34,600 --> 01:22:36,409 What are you doing? 1339 01:22:36,560 --> 01:22:38,847 Just going for a walk. 1340 01:22:44,400 --> 01:22:46,084 Grand exit? 1341 01:22:46,240 --> 01:22:49,562 When will you realize, when will people understand... 1342 01:22:49,720 --> 01:22:50,721 Yeah. 1343 01:22:50,880 --> 01:22:53,531 - That it's all fake? - Don't you get it? 1344 01:22:53,680 --> 01:22:55,250 None of this is real, it's all fake. 1345 01:22:55,400 --> 01:22:57,607 The entire thing is fake. 1346 01:22:58,760 --> 01:23:00,603 Let me... let me explain something to you. 1347 01:23:00,760 --> 01:23:03,047 If you live in a medium-sized city, you see 800 ads... 1348 01:23:03,200 --> 01:23:05,407 You ruined all this for me. 1349 01:23:22,120 --> 01:23:23,610 Michael. 1350 01:23:24,680 --> 01:23:26,091 That's my name. 1351 01:23:33,920 --> 01:23:35,285 What's your real name? 1352 01:23:42,360 --> 01:23:44,920 And you're so used to this, you don't even unders... you don't... 1353 01:23:45,040 --> 01:23:46,804 you don't realize it, okay, 1354 01:23:47,000 --> 01:23:49,048 but your body does. 1355 01:23:49,200 --> 01:23:51,601 Your heart rate increases, your pupils dilate. 1356 01:23:51,760 --> 01:23:54,331 Your breathing becomes faster and you become alert. 1357 01:23:55,720 --> 01:23:57,165 Because you've been tapped. 1358 01:23:57,320 --> 01:23:59,049 My name is Six. 1359 01:24:00,080 --> 01:24:01,650 Looking at a billboard 1360 01:24:01,800 --> 01:24:04,565 is supposed to feel like love at first sight. 1361 01:24:04,720 --> 01:24:07,121 But it's not. It's not real. 1362 01:24:07,280 --> 01:24:08,520 None of it's real. 1363 01:24:08,680 --> 01:24:10,250 It's marketing. 1364 01:24:10,440 --> 01:24:13,011 It's been a pleasure doing business with you, Six. 1365 01:24:14,880 --> 01:24:17,121 Without marketing, you wouldn't know who you are. 1366 01:24:17,320 --> 01:24:19,368 Maybe... 1367 01:24:20,800 --> 01:24:23,326 sometimes you need to walk away from that. 1368 01:24:25,080 --> 01:24:26,764 Because you haven't been changed 1369 01:24:26,920 --> 01:24:28,649 and you haven't been perfected. 1370 01:24:31,720 --> 01:24:34,291 You're just drinking the same old stuff. 1371 01:24:36,480 --> 01:24:38,323 Just... 1372 01:24:38,480 --> 01:24:40,960 a lost soul who's still drinking... 1373 01:24:42,480 --> 01:24:43,970 ...syrup. 103782