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1
00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:07,908
Hey, what's up?
2
00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:10,278
Welcome to the "Jon Glaser
Loves Gear" edit.
3
00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:11,845
It's a little
chilly outside today,
4
00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:13,013
which is why I'm wearing
this jacket.
5
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:15,049
This is my
Patagonia Houdini,
6
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:16,517
easily one of my
favorite jackets.
7
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,286
This thing is so sweet,
I love it.
8
00:00:18,286 --> 00:00:19,853
Sweet hood,
nice and light.
9
00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:23,057
Sweet, little pocket right here
that the jacket stuffs into.
10
00:00:23,057 --> 00:00:25,126
Anyway, before we start
today's episode,
11
00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:28,096
we just wanted to get
you caught up on a few things.
12
00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:29,597
If you've been following
the show,
13
00:00:29,597 --> 00:00:32,066
you know that my real wife
doesn't want to be on-camera,
14
00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:33,367
which I totally respect
15
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:36,137
because I'm a great
husband and a feminist.
16
00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:38,639
So I hired an actress
to portray her.
17
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,474
And after
last episode's incident
18
00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:43,877
at my son's summer camp where
I showed up unannounced,
19
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:47,648
I also had to hire
actors to portray my kids.
20
00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:50,418
I'm also not allowed to shoot
at my real home anymore,
21
00:00:50,418 --> 00:00:54,255
so we rented a new
place and it is sick!
22
00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:59,393
*
23
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:03,231
(no voice)
24
00:01:03,231 --> 00:01:07,335
*
25
00:01:07,335 --> 00:01:11,071
(all)
We're the Glasers!
26
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,441
All right, hopefully that got
you all caught up.
27
00:01:13,441 --> 00:01:15,843
Let's start the episode.
28
00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:18,812
(gulping loudly)
29
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:23,016
Today on "Jon Glaser
Loves Gear"...
30
00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:24,752
Dogs!
31
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:27,087
(barking echoes)
32
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:29,457
*
33
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,705
Gear!
34
00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:49,177
Oh, I know,
what a good girl, I know.
35
00:01:49,177 --> 00:01:50,444
Oh, I know.
36
00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:52,380
So, for one weekend a month,
my family
37
00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:54,348
and I dog sit
for our neighbor,
38
00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:56,550
he's in the army reserve
and he's a real patriot,
39
00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:58,286
and by caring
for his dog
40
00:01:58,286 --> 00:02:01,322
I feel like I'm serving
my country as well.
41
00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:03,457
Now, for some reason
he stupidly does not have
42
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,058
a lot of cool gear
for his dog,
43
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:07,561
so I've taken it upon myself
to outfit the dog
44
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:09,363
with some
pretty sweet stuff.
45
00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:10,898
Got this kick-ass pack,
46
00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:13,000
it's got a good harness
with a handle on the back.
47
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,636
The leash attaches to the back,
it's very comfortable.
48
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,571
It's got four cool pockets.
49
00:02:17,571 --> 00:02:21,575
We've got this very cool,
collapsible water bowl,
50
00:02:21,575 --> 00:02:24,645
and look how cool that is,
I know, it folds up so tiny
51
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:27,648
and goes right back in one
of the cool pockets
52
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:31,018
on your harness,
I know, it's so cool, I know.
53
00:02:31,018 --> 00:02:33,254
And then I've got
some cool gear of my own.
54
00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:36,156
Got this pretty sweet fanny
pack, two water bottles,
55
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,091
I got my own
thermos right here,
56
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:40,261
this is a regular
water bottle right here.
57
00:02:40,261 --> 00:02:43,264
This is for rain to put
the water in your bowl,
58
00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:45,699
I know, in your cool,
collapsible bowl.
59
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,268
And we're gonna
have so much fun.
60
00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:50,904
Let's go meet some other dogs
and see their gear, I know.
61
00:02:50,904 --> 00:02:52,840
Come on, let's go, Rain.
62
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:55,609
Rain and I headed out to
the park to talk to people
63
00:02:55,609 --> 00:02:59,780
about their dogs and their gear,
I know, we did.
64
00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,449
She's a mutt.
Hi.
65
00:03:01,449 --> 00:03:02,683
She's a full-bred mutt.
66
00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,018
New York "Times"
subscription poo bag.
67
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,955
Sure, smart.
Oh, I know.
68
00:03:07,955 --> 00:03:12,293
This little guy, uh, we got
this, we were in Prague.
69
00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:14,795
I think intended
to be a treat bag.
70
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,730
Oh, I know.
71
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,131
Yeah, this is
a cool leash.
72
00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:20,868
I like this little piece
right here, it's kind of neat.
73
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,603
Oh, I know.
74
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:24,472
This one's pretty cool,
it's got a little bit of a...
75
00:03:24,472 --> 00:03:26,274
(humming)
Stretch, wow.
76
00:03:26,274 --> 00:03:27,641
Regular Frisbees and some
plastic Frisbees
77
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:29,042
rip up the dog's mouth,
78
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,211
so you end up with a bloody
disc after a few minutes.
79
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,380
Bloody disc.
Right.
80
00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:33,814
I like the sound of that.
81
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,749
Oh, I know.
82
00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:36,784
(whispers)
Nice!
83
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:37,818
Look at that.
84
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:39,253
And then just
a cool bottle.
85
00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:41,422
Oh, I know.
Wow.
86
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:45,326
Boop, boop, boop.
87
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:46,760
And boop.
88
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,497
Oh, I know.
89
00:03:49,497 --> 00:03:51,332
Good girl, you're so
thirsty, I know,
90
00:03:51,332 --> 00:03:53,834
we saw so many
cute dogs today,
91
00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:56,570
and we also saw a lot
of really cool gear.
92
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,472
I like that one guy's
Czechoslovakian yellow bag,
93
00:03:58,472 --> 00:04:00,508
that was pretty cool.
94
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,677
Oh, come on, dude,
seriously?
95
00:04:03,677 --> 00:04:05,178
No, hey, no, no, no!
96
00:04:05,178 --> 00:04:07,080
Sir, sir!
Excuse me.
97
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,617
You didn't pick up after
your dog, come on, man.
98
00:04:09,617 --> 00:04:11,685
Sorry, I didn't
realize he pooped.
99
00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,921
Where?
Right where you
left it, come on.
100
00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:16,457
Yeah, all right, all right.
Yeah, okay.
101
00:04:16,457 --> 00:04:19,360
Unbelievable--
that drives me... nuts.
102
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:21,295
Yeah, there it is,
thank you.
103
00:04:24,865 --> 00:04:28,101
Are you (bleep) kidding me?
Are you (bleep)?
104
00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,537
You know what,
I'm not gonna do it.
105
00:04:29,537 --> 00:04:32,039
Rain, I'm not gonna do it,
I'm walking away.
106
00:04:32,039 --> 00:04:34,207
I'm walking away because
if I go confront that guy
107
00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:35,709
I'm gonna lose my temper,
108
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,311
I'm gonna look like
the crazy person,
109
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:38,546
so I'm not
gonna do it, okay?
110
00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:39,947
I said something,
111
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,182
that's better than not
saying something, right?
112
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:43,216
Right, Rain?
113
00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:44,885
I tried,
I said something.
114
00:04:44,885 --> 00:04:48,656
Right? I know,
I said something, I know.
115
00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:49,790
(man shouting)
Hey!
116
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:52,460
Could've been
nicer about that!
117
00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,831
Okay, guys, how are we
gonna get this guy, right?
118
00:04:57,831 --> 00:05:00,668
We gotta nail this guy,
we gotta stick it to him!
119
00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:02,135
Honey, the guy obviously
doesn't care
120
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,872
and he probably
won't change his mind.
121
00:05:04,872 --> 00:05:08,476
Maybe you just need to...
122
00:05:08,476 --> 00:05:09,643
let it go.
123
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:16,717
Uh, we are Glasers, and Glasers
don't let things go.
124
00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:20,087
That is the Glaser way,
remember?
125
00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:23,090
What if we did
a hidden camera show
126
00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:27,260
where we caught people who
didn't pick up their dog poop?
127
00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:30,931
We can call it
"(Bleep) Shamers".
128
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:32,666
Yeah, not bad.
129
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,835
(Gear-i)
Jon, what if you let
the poop dry out and harden
130
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:38,105
and then use it as a club
and beat him with it?
131
00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:39,740
Yeah, I mean, I like
the idea of that.
132
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:41,575
I'd love to do
that to this guy,
133
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:43,076
but I think we gotta
think of something
134
00:05:43,076 --> 00:05:45,245
a little more
subtle, okay?
135
00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:47,114
Let's come up
with subtle ideas.
136
00:05:47,114 --> 00:05:48,782
I got it!
137
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:51,184
I headed over to Eagle Street
Rooftop Farm in Brooklyn
138
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:53,020
and met with co-founder
Annie Novak
139
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,623
to get her advice
about my plan.
140
00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:57,791
I'm going to grow tomatoes...
Uh-huh.
141
00:05:57,791 --> 00:06:01,094
I'm gonna use his dog (bleep)
to be the fertilizer,
142
00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:03,464
present the tomatoes
to my neighbor and say,
143
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,298
"Hey, you know, I'm sorry
that I yelled at you
144
00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:07,968
several months ago,"
or however long ago it takes
145
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:09,437
to grow tomatoes,
you know what I'm saying?
146
00:06:09,437 --> 00:06:10,804
Hmm.
And he'll say,
"Oh, you're a cool guy,
147
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:12,105
thanks for doing that,"
and he'll take a bite
148
00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:14,041
and I'll be like,
"In your face, dude!
149
00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,376
You're eating your
dog (bleep)!"
150
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,978
Got it.
Sweet plan, right?
151
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:19,647
Yeah, kind of.
152
00:06:19,647 --> 00:06:22,816
I mean, where did you read that
it was okay to use dog manure
153
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:24,918
to fertilize
vegetables?
154
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:26,086
I didn't read it
anywhere.
155
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:27,455
Poo is poo,
am I right?
156
00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:29,490
There's a category of animals
where it's okay
157
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:30,924
and there's a category
of animals
158
00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:32,059
where you're gonna get
a lot of bacteria and pathogens
159
00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,127
you don't want to mess with.
Oh, even better.
160
00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:35,496
Plus, super salty.
Even better.
161
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:38,432
These are bad for the guy,
even better.
162
00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:40,834
Okay.
If he's potentially
going to ingest, like,
163
00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:43,471
some disgusting bacteria
or whatever...
164
00:06:43,471 --> 00:06:46,239
Hmm, yeah.
I don't want him to die.
165
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,476
Right.
But I would like him to suffer.
166
00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:49,777
Yeah, yeah,
that might work.
167
00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:51,178
(Jon)
With my plan in place,
168
00:06:51,178 --> 00:06:54,147
it was time to check out some
sweet gardening gear.
169
00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:55,683
This is, uh, that's a regular,
standard hoe,
170
00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:57,017
this is a scuffle hoe.
171
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,786
So if you're,
if you're trying to weed,
172
00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,954
you just-- you lightly
flip your wrist,
173
00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:03,691
and this is a knife blade,
and it chops the weed.
174
00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:06,359
This'll be good if you put
your banjo music on, right?
175
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:09,697
Exactly, exactly.
(imitating banjo)
176
00:07:09,697 --> 00:07:13,701
(banjo playing)
177
00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:15,636
That's a--
that's a flat rake.
178
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:18,672
No I gotta say, I love
this long handle.
179
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:20,440
It's pretty cool.
Ooh.
180
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,441
You can kind of
pick your poison.
181
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:23,343
This is a harvest knife.
Whoa.
182
00:07:23,343 --> 00:07:24,812
You can either...
(whooshing)
183
00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:26,446
Hopefully in
a leather holster,
184
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:29,216
not in your actual pocket.
(whooshing)
185
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:30,450
Yeah, I for sure
want some of these
186
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:32,285
because when I grow
the tomatoes, right?
187
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:33,386
Yeah.
188
00:07:33,386 --> 00:07:35,455
You gotta prune 'em, yeah.
Right?
189
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:39,727
All right, Annie, well, I think
that about covers it all.
190
00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:41,995
Thank you very much.
A pleasure.
191
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,063
See you on
the other side.
192
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:44,331
Oh, I know.
193
00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:48,636
(Jon)
After my consultation
at Eagle Street Rooftop Farm,
194
00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:51,972
I started my own home garden,
and 94 days later
195
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,842
my revenge tomatoes
were ready.
196
00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:58,178
Oh, I know, I know.
197
00:07:58,178 --> 00:08:01,982
Yeah, we're about to teach
this ass(bleep) a lesson.
198
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,585
(barking)
Yeah, I know, right?
199
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:06,587
Hey, what do you think about
my gardening outfit?
200
00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:08,388
It's pretty nice, right?
201
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:10,691
I know, I got these
really cool overalls
202
00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:12,492
and I got these cool boots,
203
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:16,496
and these really super cool
pruning shears, I know.
204
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:20,233
And look at this, I know, it's
a really nice cooling bandana.
205
00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:23,270
You put it in water and put it
in the fridge and get it cold
206
00:08:23,270 --> 00:08:24,672
and then it goes
around your neck
207
00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:26,740
and it keeps you
so comfortable when it's hot.
208
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:30,010
(barks)
I know, it's so cool, I know.
209
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:33,714
Jon, why do you always
say "I know" to dogs?
210
00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:35,215
I don't know.
(Rain barks)
211
00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:36,249
Right?
212
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:37,918
I know, I don't know.
213
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:41,354
I know, I don't know,
I know.
214
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,557
Why don't you ever
tell me "I know"?
215
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,458
I don't know, Gear-i,
what's the big deal?
216
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:48,095
It's not a big deal,
I'm just curious.
217
00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:50,631
Okay, well, if it's not a big
deal, then just drop it.
218
00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:52,700
I'm trying to focus
on the tomatoes.
219
00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:54,367
Tell me "I know," Jon.
220
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:55,769
Shut up, Gear-i.
221
00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:58,038
I'll shut up when you
tell me "I know".
222
00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:00,540
Well, I'm not going to tell
you "I know," so shut up.
223
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,209
How hard is it
to just say "I know"?
224
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,945
Gear-i-- you're comparing
yourself to a dog.
225
00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:06,880
Is that what you think you are?
No.
226
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:07,981
'Cause if you do,
I'll treat you like one.
227
00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:09,249
Here!
228
00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:11,084
Here's some treats!
229
00:09:11,084 --> 00:09:12,820
There, you're a dog.
You happy?
230
00:09:12,820 --> 00:09:15,222
Eat your treats!
Oh, you can't eat them?
231
00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:18,726
I know, you can't eat them
because you're not a dog.
232
00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:21,394
Now shut up.
233
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:25,565
Jesus, Jon.
Now let's go get revenge.
234
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,935
With a basket of finely
cultivated tomatoes,
235
00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:29,737
I was ready
to unleash my plan
236
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:33,974
and turn this poo-frown
upside "brown".
237
00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:37,077
(whispering)
You guys ready?
238
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,146
Let's do this.
239
00:09:39,146 --> 00:09:41,248
(doorbell chiming)
240
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:42,482
Here he comes.
241
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:48,288
Hi, um...
242
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:50,323
I don't know
if you remember me.
243
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:54,695
I confronted you on the street
right across the way there
244
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:58,766
about a few months ago about
not pickin' up your dog's poop.
245
00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:01,168
Yeah, yeah,
I remember you.
246
00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:02,602
What's with all
the cameras?
247
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,005
Uh, I am making
a documentary, uh,
248
00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:08,541
it's about myself, I'm dealing
with a lot of anger issues,
249
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:10,343
and I'm trying
to become a better person
250
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:14,381
and I'm apologizing to all
the people that I've hurt,
251
00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:17,150
presenting you with
a basket of tomatoes
252
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,720
as a gesture of goodwill
and a gesture of apology
253
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,722
and as a way
to say I'm sorry.
254
00:10:24,658 --> 00:10:26,459
Yeah, okay, sure.
255
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:32,465
You know, you were kind of
a dick about the whole thing
256
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:34,634
so I appreciate
the apology and, you know,
257
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,871
good luck on bettering yourself
or whatever it is you're doing.
258
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,639
Actually, wait, wait,
if you don't mind maybe
259
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,975
just doing--
taking a bite of the tomato
260
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,977
just so we can
capture it on camera,
261
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,714
just so we get that moment
and we can, you know,
262
00:10:46,714 --> 00:10:48,315
we'll shake hands
after and...
263
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:50,550
Just to have it for the film,
for the documentary.
264
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,319
It'll be a really
nice scene.
265
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:54,087
I'm not sure if you've seen
a lot of documentaries.
266
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:56,156
It'll just be, it'll just be--
Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.
267
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,524
I'll do it, why not?
Great.
268
00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:58,658
Is there a camera where
you want to play it to?
269
00:10:58,658 --> 00:10:59,760
Does it matter?
270
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,995
Just like this?
Yeah, and a big, juicy,
271
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,697
a big, juicy bite...
All right.
272
00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:05,065
for the emotion
of the apology.
273
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:06,666
Okay, all right, here we go.
Okay.
274
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:08,435
You ready?
Yep.
275
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:09,703
Yeah, dude!
276
00:11:09,703 --> 00:11:12,539
In your (bleep) face,
ass(bleep)!
277
00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:15,008
That's what you get for not
picking up your dog (bleep)!
278
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,744
What are you
talking about?
279
00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:18,678
You didn't pick up
your dog (bleep), right?
280
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,013
Guess who did?
281
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:23,583
Me! I took that dog (bleep)
home and I started a garden.
282
00:11:23,583 --> 00:11:26,954
I used the dog (bleep) as
fertilizer for the garden,
283
00:11:26,954 --> 00:11:30,257
so I grew these tomatoes
with your dog (bleep).
284
00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:33,293
Your dog (bleep)
is in your stomach now.
285
00:11:33,293 --> 00:11:36,897
How's it taste, dick?
286
00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:38,866
What the hell are you
talking about?
287
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:42,402
I'm talking about you just
ate your dog's (bleep).
288
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,404
That's what I'm
talking about!
289
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,073
Dude, you're totally
burned, dude.
290
00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:48,541
Let's get this
guy some Neosporin.
291
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:49,910
We got any Neosporin,
guys?
292
00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:51,478
If we don't,
find a deli,
293
00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:54,381
'cause this guy is covered
in burns right now.
294
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:56,750
Yeah, whatever, man.
Fertilizer's fertilizer.
295
00:11:58,786 --> 00:12:00,720
Mmm!
296
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:01,889
Delicious!
297
00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:04,057
You should sell these.
298
00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:07,727
You were great on "Girls,"
by the way.
299
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:09,729
(Jon)
My revenge may not
have gone on as planned,
300
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,564
but I realized I was
on to something
301
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:15,002
with these
delicious tomatoes,
302
00:12:15,002 --> 00:12:17,938
so I designed an app
called "Poo-Dar".
303
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,408
The way it works is
anytime you see
304
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:23,576
some (bleep)-ing
D-bag A-hole
305
00:12:23,576 --> 00:12:25,645
not picking up
his dog (bleep),
306
00:12:25,645 --> 00:12:28,615
you simply enter
the location,
307
00:12:28,615 --> 00:12:32,619
and once I receive
coordinates, I'm on my way.
308
00:12:32,619 --> 00:12:36,589
Then I come pick it up using
G.Poo.S. technology...
309
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:37,825
collecting it
with custom-made
310
00:12:37,825 --> 00:12:41,294
"Jon Glaser Loves Gear"
poop bags.
311
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:44,631
So whether it's a small
corner of your neighborhood,
312
00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:46,934
or right in the middle
of the big city,
313
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:50,871
every poop is safely secured and
transported back to my garden
314
00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:53,206
where I add it
to my fertilizer
315
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:54,541
and continue the cycle
316
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:57,344
of growing my delicious
dog (bleep) tomatoes
317
00:12:57,344 --> 00:13:01,481
that you, the public,
now get to enjoy.
318
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:02,715
With produce it's all
about the presentation.
319
00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:03,984
Got it.
320
00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:06,286
Would you like to try one?
Oh, no, that's okay.
321
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:08,555
Can you tell me a little bit
about your tomato sign?
322
00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:09,823
I mean, I'll show you,
they're really delicious.
323
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,524
(pretend gagging)
324
00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:12,692
See?
325
00:13:12,692 --> 00:13:14,294
Mmm, so good.
326
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:15,628
Very similar to
farm to table,
327
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,330
this is called
ass to mouth.
328
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,332
There's a lot that
happens in between,
329
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:21,068
but when you boil it
down to its essence,
330
00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:22,302
that's basically
what's going on.
331
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,536
Ass to mouth, all right.
Yeah.
332
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:25,472
Some people, this--
you have to understand,
333
00:13:25,472 --> 00:13:28,475
you're dealing with--
shredding, dude!
334
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:31,144
I've got an app that you can
download on your phone.
335
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,312
If you ever see someone
336
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:34,314
that doesn't pick up
their dog (bleep),
337
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,816
you enter the app,
punch in the coordinates,
338
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,251
I will then go and
collect that (bleep),
339
00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:40,153
I'm doing it
all over the city.
340
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,654
It's one of those moments
where you realize,
341
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:44,424
this is what I was
put on earth to do.
342
00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:46,826
Will you put some more
toothpicks in all the samples?
343
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,361
All right.
344
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:51,331
Oh, my God,
there's my family.
345
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:54,401
You guys!
Leslie, kids!
346
00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:55,568
Hey.
Hi!
347
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:56,669
Hi.
348
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:57,770
Are you guys
comin' to visit?
349
00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:59,006
No.
No.
350
00:13:59,006 --> 00:14:00,440
What are you guys
doing here?
351
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,675
We're not "here," we're going
to camp, remember?
352
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,577
Oh, right,
have fun at camp!
353
00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:07,847
Yeah.
I was up-- I gave both you
kisses before I left.
354
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,750
Nathan, you remember Charlie?
He's playing you in the show.
355
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:12,285
Yeah, we're good, okay.
356
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:14,187
Hey, what are we doing
for dinner tonight?
357
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:16,723
Will you make
linguini?
358
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:19,893
Just le--
less lemon this time.
359
00:14:19,893 --> 00:14:22,062
And let's do a dark beer.
360
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:23,363
Would you pick
some up for me?
361
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:25,698
I'm going to be busy
until I get home.
362
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,734
Bye, you guys!
I love you!
363
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:31,371
Not you on the bike--
my kids, but you're cute!
364
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:34,441
Sorry, sweetie, just--
365
00:14:34,441 --> 00:14:37,444
(phone vibrates)
Wait, hold on one second.
366
00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:38,778
Got another call.
367
00:14:38,778 --> 00:14:40,280
(Gear-i)
New poo reported--
368
00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:43,416
the corner of Prospect Park
West and 11th Avenue.
369
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:45,285
All right, Gear-i,
not a moment to lose.
370
00:14:45,285 --> 00:14:47,087
Jon, can we talk about when you
threw the dog food at me?
371
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:48,221
Maybe later, Gear-i.
372
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,789
Let's go!
373
00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:51,658
I was feeling really good
about turning a negative
374
00:14:51,658 --> 00:14:54,461
into such a giant positive
for the community.
375
00:14:54,461 --> 00:14:56,063
By keeping
our streets clean,
376
00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:58,098
while also delivering
a quality product,
377
00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,499
I was really making
a difference,
378
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,768
becoming a true
neighborhood hero, and--
379
00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:04,904
what the (bleep)?
380
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,573
*
381
00:15:16,083 --> 00:15:18,918
All right, Andy, thank you
for helping with this project.
382
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:23,523
I want to prank this guy hard
and fill him with shame, okay?
383
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:27,760
What I wanna do is set a fake
dog poop on his property,
384
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,262
right on his porch,
385
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,831
and when he comes out to get it
and he goes to grab it,
386
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:33,700
it starts moving
around and just, like,
387
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,435
messes with his head.
388
00:15:35,435 --> 00:15:38,205
So, how can we
accomplish this?
389
00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:40,773
So far, I've done this.
390
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,710
Oh, so, this is,
this is a giant poo?
391
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:44,811
That's a big poo.
392
00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:46,446
And it's an albino poo?
393
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:49,049
That will, uh,
eventually look like this,
394
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:51,318
which is, you know,
getting there.
395
00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:54,821
All right, so this is
where the...
396
00:15:54,821 --> 00:15:56,689
the GoPro?
The burn cam.
397
00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:57,957
I don't have,
like, a brown--
398
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,626
did you guys just
prank me with a brown ring
399
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,793
around my eye right now?
400
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,295
Yeah, look at that.
401
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,296
You catch him
in the act.
402
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,631
Get some cool shots,
right?
403
00:16:04,631 --> 00:16:07,300
*
404
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,335
The great thing about
this car, though,
405
00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:10,303
it can be controlled
by Gear-i.
406
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:11,538
So that's where
the remote control is.
407
00:16:11,538 --> 00:16:12,739
Exactly.
408
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:14,874
Gear-i, you psyched
to be part of the plan?
409
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:16,576
I'd like to talk about
when you threw dog foo--
410
00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:18,745
(beep)
Great, uh, all right, Andy,
411
00:16:18,745 --> 00:16:21,714
I am pumped to get back
at this ass(bleep).
412
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:24,184
Thank you very much.
413
00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:25,252
Let's do this.
414
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:29,256
*
415
00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:31,058
Let's do this.
416
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:48,175
(whispering)
Go!
(doorbell chiming)
417
00:16:55,282 --> 00:16:58,185
Hey, that looks like
the mask from "Delocated".
418
00:16:58,185 --> 00:16:59,586
Does this mean you're doing
more episodes?
419
00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:12,232
Sounds cool.
420
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:15,202
They'd be stupid
not to do that.
421
00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:18,438
(chuckling)
Oh, he saw.
422
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:22,075
Jon, I'd really
love to talk about
423
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:23,743
when you threw
the dog food at me.
424
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:26,413
(whispering)
Shut up, Gear-i.
425
00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:30,117
(man mumbling)
426
00:17:30,117 --> 00:17:31,551
Jesus!
427
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,486
(laughing)
428
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:35,255
What the (bleep)?
Go get it, ass(bleep)
429
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:38,458
Get it-- reach for it,
reach for it,
430
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:40,727
reach for it,
reach for it, yeah.
431
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:41,994
Reach for it.
432
00:17:41,994 --> 00:17:45,098
(laughing)
433
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,435
Hey, ass(bleep).
434
00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:49,769
Pick up your dog (bleep)
next time!
435
00:17:49,769 --> 00:17:51,338
It's me! It's me!
436
00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:53,106
Come on, Rain.
437
00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:54,607
(Rain whimpering)
438
00:17:54,607 --> 00:17:56,409
Rain?
439
00:17:56,409 --> 00:17:59,446
Rain?
Are you okay?
440
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:00,613
Are you okay, Rain?
441
00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:06,119
We're dealing
with someone
442
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,920
that does not pick up
his dog's poop,
443
00:18:07,920 --> 00:18:10,022
so already you know you're
dealing with a guy
444
00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:11,458
that doesn't care...
445
00:18:11,458 --> 00:18:13,793
about the community,
about other people,
446
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:17,096
and I confronted him once
and he just didn't care,
447
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:19,499
so that's when I put that
revenge plan into place
448
00:18:19,499 --> 00:18:23,170
where I picked up his dog's poop
that he didn't want to pick up
449
00:18:23,170 --> 00:18:26,306
and I used it to
fertilize these tomatoes
450
00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:28,175
that took me months
to grow to get perfect...
451
00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:30,477
I went to his place
and I apologized to him
452
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:32,945
for screaming at him about
not picking up his dog poop.
453
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,981
I overreacted,
blah-blah-blah...
454
00:18:34,981 --> 00:18:36,149
He was like,
"All right, thank you,"
455
00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:37,650
and he took the tomato
and took a bite.
456
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,819
...did not get the response
I thought I would get.
457
00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:41,020
I was hoping
he'd be all...
458
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:42,522
...great product here.
459
00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:43,823
These dog (bleep) tomatoes.
460
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:46,559
Guy, again, still not
picking up his dog (bleep).
461
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:48,828
It had steam, it had steam
coming out of it.
462
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:52,465
...chasing us
with a baseball bat.
463
00:18:52,465 --> 00:18:54,167
And we were so scared
for our lives
464
00:18:54,167 --> 00:18:57,337
and when we were running away,
that's when Rain got hurt.
465
00:18:57,337 --> 00:18:59,172
So, I mean,
what are we...
466
00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:00,573
What's she
dealing with here?
467
00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:02,375
It looks like
the working diagnosis
468
00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:07,180
is a mild to moderate, uh,
possible disc herniation.
469
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:08,581
Now, sometimes
these things...
470
00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,417
(Jon)
I couldn't believe my ears.
471
00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:12,419
I was seething with rage.
472
00:19:12,419 --> 00:19:15,522
If Rain wasn't able to walk
again, so help me god,
473
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:17,857
I vowed to myself
right then and there
474
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:20,193
that I would do anything
I can to murder
475
00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:22,195
that scumbag piece of--
476
00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,835
So we can put her in a cart.
Mm-hmm, yeah.
477
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:30,537
Get something kind of
cool-looking...
478
00:19:30,537 --> 00:19:32,038
I don't know how cool
it will look,
479
00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:35,708
but you know, we're really
dealing with the...
480
00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:37,677
Oh, it's going
to look cool.
481
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:40,580
It's gear--
and gear looks cool.
482
00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:42,249
Now, don't get me wrong,
I wasn't happy
483
00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:45,718
that Rain was hurt, but at least
there'd be gear involved.
484
00:19:45,718 --> 00:19:48,455
All right, doc, you can,
uh, you can stop talking,
485
00:19:48,455 --> 00:19:49,889
you made your point.
486
00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:51,224
You pulled a Jerry McGuire
and had me--
487
00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:58,197
Well, make her look cool,
I know,
488
00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,899
you're gonna
look so cool.
489
00:19:59,899 --> 00:20:03,703
You're gonna
look so cool.
490
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:08,107
We're gonna turn these
lemons into gear-monade.
491
00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:09,542
Oh, I know.
492
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:10,577
(Jon)
Rain and I headed over
493
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:12,412
to Water 4 Dogs
so she could start
494
00:20:12,412 --> 00:20:15,748
her first round
of physical therapy.
495
00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:17,083
Good girl,
that's okay.
496
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,286
Oh, I know, I know,
it's okay.
497
00:20:19,286 --> 00:20:20,420
Hi.
Hi, how are you?
498
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:21,488
Good, how are you?
Good.
499
00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:23,055
This is Rain?
This is Rain.
500
00:20:23,055 --> 00:20:24,457
Hi, baby.
501
00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:26,326
So, I know that you're coming
today because she has
502
00:20:26,326 --> 00:20:28,227
suffered an injury recently,
she broke her back.
503
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:30,663
Yes.
Can you tell me a little
bit about that?
504
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:33,466
Rain is, I think,
doing okay, um...
505
00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:36,936
She was unfortunately
injured, um,
506
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:39,806
I don't think
it's hyperbole to say
507
00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:42,442
that it was an act
of terrorism.
508
00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:44,110
We were 100% innocent...
509
00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:46,946
Mm-hmm.
...of any wrongdoing and this
guy, just for no reason,
510
00:20:46,946 --> 00:20:48,448
attacked us.
511
00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:50,450
So in our escape,
trying to save our lives,
512
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,619
she hurt her back.
I'm sorry to hear that.
513
00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:54,487
So... me too, me too.
514
00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:56,323
Well, let's go ahead
and get her started.
515
00:20:56,323 --> 00:20:57,790
I'd like to get her
on the underwater treadmill...
516
00:20:57,790 --> 00:20:59,258
Awesome
...and see how she does.
517
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:01,027
We'll take it slow and we'll
go from there, okay?
518
00:21:01,027 --> 00:21:03,463
I think that sounds great.
Are you ready?
519
00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:07,266
I know, it's gonna be so fun
to get better, I know.
520
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,001
Knowing we were
in good hands with Jennifer,
521
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:13,039
it was time to start
a little hydrotherapy.
522
00:21:13,039 --> 00:21:14,807
It's okay, good girl.
Good girl.
523
00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:18,144
Good girl, Rain,
good girl.
524
00:21:18,144 --> 00:21:20,613
She's doing great.
525
00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,649
(sighing)
526
00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:25,985
We will show you how to do
passive techniques, like,
527
00:21:25,985 --> 00:21:27,820
passive range of motion
and stretching...
528
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:29,322
(softly)
Okay.
529
00:21:29,322 --> 00:21:30,623
Are you okay?
I'm okay.
530
00:21:30,623 --> 00:21:31,791
Don't worry,
she's doing great
531
00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:34,293
and she's going
to be fine, okay?
532
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,563
I don't know if
I'm going to be fine.
533
00:21:36,563 --> 00:21:37,830
Just as Rain and I were both
534
00:21:37,830 --> 00:21:40,199
starting to feel a little better
about everything,
535
00:21:40,199 --> 00:21:43,736
it was time
to say good-bye.
536
00:21:43,736 --> 00:21:44,837
Good-bye, Rain.
537
00:21:44,837 --> 00:21:46,506
See ya next month.
538
00:21:46,506 --> 00:21:48,040
So, yeah, I mean,
this guy just refuses
539
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:50,677
to pick up his dog poop and
I'm like, "Hey," very politely,
540
00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:52,345
"Come on, man,
you should pick that up."
541
00:21:52,345 --> 00:21:55,014
He snaps, goes into a rage,
runs in his house,
542
00:21:55,014 --> 00:21:57,750
gets a baseball bat,
attacks me and Rain,
543
00:21:57,750 --> 00:21:59,552
and that's when Rain
hurt her back.
544
00:21:59,552 --> 00:22:00,987
I'll (bleep)
kill this guy.
545
00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:02,154
With your
military training
546
00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:03,823
there's no doubt
in my mind you could.
547
00:22:03,823 --> 00:22:06,393
Oh, by the way,
that's his house.
548
00:22:06,393 --> 00:22:07,594
Is that crazy?
549
00:22:07,594 --> 00:22:08,861
Oh, you know what?
550
00:22:08,861 --> 00:22:11,431
Oh, what do you know,
here he comes now.
551
00:22:11,431 --> 00:22:13,032
Funny timing.
552
00:22:13,032 --> 00:22:16,503
Anyway, here's the cart, you
should be all good-- whoa, man!
553
00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:19,038
You can do a lot of damage
with this thing, right?
554
00:22:19,038 --> 00:22:20,840
Oh, yeah, you can hurt
someone with that.
555
00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:22,041
Anyway, there you go.
556
00:22:22,041 --> 00:22:23,275
I'll see you
next month, man.
557
00:22:23,275 --> 00:22:24,411
Be good.
558
00:22:24,411 --> 00:22:26,579
Bye, Rain!
559
00:22:26,579 --> 00:22:28,415
*
560
00:22:33,886 --> 00:22:34,954
What's up?
561
00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:36,222
(loud thud, beep)
562
00:22:39,792 --> 00:22:42,061
(Jon)
Here, you wanna go work on
that plant over there?
563
00:22:42,061 --> 00:22:43,229
That one?
Yeah.
564
00:22:43,229 --> 00:22:44,764
Uh...
Have fun.
565
00:22:44,764 --> 00:22:46,065
Thanks.
566
00:22:46,065 --> 00:22:47,199
How's the watering going,
sweetie?
567
00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:48,401
Good.
568
00:22:48,401 --> 00:22:50,302
You know, the more water
these plants get,
569
00:22:50,302 --> 00:22:51,370
they're gonna grow
big and strong
570
00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:52,639
with some of
the sunlight as well,
571
00:22:52,639 --> 00:22:54,641
and they're gonna turn into
these big, beautiful,
572
00:22:54,641 --> 00:22:57,477
plump, delicious
red tomatoes,
573
00:22:57,477 --> 00:22:58,911
and when they're ready
we take them to the market
574
00:22:58,911 --> 00:23:00,880
and then we sell
them to people.
575
00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:01,881
Jon?
576
00:23:01,881 --> 00:23:03,215
Hey, sweetie,
what's up?
577
00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:05,117
Have you seen the news?
578
00:23:05,117 --> 00:23:06,953
No, what?
579
00:23:09,722 --> 00:23:11,924
Wow, that's, uh,
that's horrible.
580
00:23:11,924 --> 00:23:14,393
Daddy, that's the man
you were angry with?
581
00:23:14,393 --> 00:23:19,065
That's right, honey, I know,
it is, yeah, how sad for him.
582
00:23:19,065 --> 00:23:21,768
How terrible,
that is so sad.
583
00:23:21,768 --> 00:23:24,571
How sad for that man,
I know.
584
00:23:24,571 --> 00:23:26,906
Kids... do you
want to come inside?
585
00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:27,974
Okay, mom.
586
00:23:27,974 --> 00:23:29,609
Yeah, you go inside
with mommy, I know,
587
00:23:29,609 --> 00:23:31,277
that sounds
like a fun idea,
588
00:23:31,277 --> 00:23:33,079
and daddy can work
out here by himself
589
00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:37,316
and think about that poor,
sad man who died, I know.
590
00:23:37,316 --> 00:23:40,019
How terrible
for that poor man
591
00:23:40,019 --> 00:23:43,656
who opened his big mouth,
I know...
592
00:23:43,656 --> 00:23:45,324
Jon?
593
00:23:45,324 --> 00:23:46,358
Yeah.
594
00:23:46,358 --> 00:23:48,360
You need help.
595
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:50,196
For the garden?
I know.
596
00:23:50,196 --> 00:23:53,365
Yeah, I could use a couple of
guys to help here, I know.
597
00:23:53,365 --> 00:23:57,136
Couple people to help
get the tomatoes, I know.
598
00:23:57,136 --> 00:24:00,106
We could take 'em and keep
selling 'em, I know.
599
00:24:00,106 --> 00:24:02,108
That'd be so nice.
600
00:24:02,108 --> 00:24:04,310
And then I'd have some
people to talk to about
601
00:24:04,310 --> 00:24:07,379
the poor, sad man
who died, I know.
602
00:24:07,379 --> 00:24:10,550
You deserve what you get
that's coming to you,
603
00:24:10,550 --> 00:24:14,521
even if it's something
extreme or bad, I know.
604
00:24:14,521 --> 00:24:16,856
Some people are just
ass(bleep)
605
00:24:16,856 --> 00:24:18,825
when they decide
to be so stubborn
606
00:24:18,825 --> 00:24:20,727
and then look
what happens.
607
00:24:20,727 --> 00:24:23,062
That's just how life
goes sometimes.
608
00:24:23,062 --> 00:24:26,032
You make certain choices,
I know.
609
00:24:26,032 --> 00:24:28,801
And then you have to sometimes
suffer the consequences
610
00:24:28,801 --> 00:24:30,169
of those choices,
611
00:24:30,169 --> 00:24:33,840
and sometimes the consequences
means dying, I know,
612
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:37,409
or getting beaten to death,
oh, I know, I know.
45387
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