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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,490 --> 00:00:19,490 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:00:20,537 --> 00:00:23,605 LAURA: I love each and every one of you who have 3 00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:26,107 supported me over the years with all my heart. 4 00:00:26,109 --> 00:00:28,509 (DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) 5 00:00:28,511 --> 00:00:32,379 It's difficult for me to come to terms with my diagnosis, 6 00:00:32,381 --> 00:00:37,386 but I do know that the emotional bond we share is real. 7 00:00:42,124 --> 00:00:45,493 So while I only have a few months left to live, 8 00:00:45,495 --> 00:00:49,162 I'm reminded that even though I've only met a few you 9 00:00:49,164 --> 00:00:53,935 in person, that our time together has made my life 10 00:00:53,937 --> 00:00:55,872 everything I always wanted it to be. 11 00:00:57,673 --> 00:00:59,609 I'm so grateful for all of you, 12 00:01:01,143 --> 00:01:03,445 and I made this flash to remember you all. 13 00:01:05,581 --> 00:01:07,147 Fucking cunt. 14 00:01:07,149 --> 00:01:08,016 What? 15 00:01:08,018 --> 00:01:09,683 Laura, I hate her. 16 00:01:09,685 --> 00:01:11,486 Laura, who is dying of cancer? 17 00:01:11,488 --> 00:01:12,686 Oh, c'mon, you know she's just doing it 18 00:01:12,688 --> 00:01:14,588 to get to the top of the charts for the week. 19 00:01:14,590 --> 00:01:17,257 She got cancer so she could get the most views? 20 00:01:17,259 --> 00:01:19,060 Maybe she didn't get cancer for that reason, 21 00:01:19,062 --> 00:01:20,560 but she's definitely milking it. 22 00:01:20,562 --> 00:01:22,462 She's going to be dead in a few months. 23 00:01:22,464 --> 00:01:23,664 I think you can wait that long 24 00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:25,198 to get back to number one on str33ker. 25 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:26,601 I was number one for six weeks. 26 00:01:26,603 --> 00:01:28,135 Seven would have been a record str33k. 27 00:01:28,137 --> 00:01:30,070 Well, maybe when Laura is dead, 28 00:01:30,072 --> 00:01:31,975 you can get that str33k started again. 29 00:01:35,077 --> 00:01:37,947 Shouldn't you be studying for that exam tomorrow, anyway? 30 00:01:39,315 --> 00:01:41,248 I have to get ready for the party. 31 00:01:41,250 --> 00:01:43,084 You're going, right? 32 00:01:43,086 --> 00:01:44,918 Do I really have to? 33 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:46,486 I really need to study. 34 00:01:46,488 --> 00:01:49,189 I still don't understand this taxonomy stuff that well yet. 35 00:01:49,191 --> 00:01:51,358 Kinky people can often find good sex. 36 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:52,659 That's all you need to remember. 37 00:01:52,661 --> 00:01:54,429 Ha, ha, very funny, 38 00:01:54,431 --> 00:01:56,831 but I don't think that's gonna be enough. 39 00:01:56,833 --> 00:01:59,534 We have to memorize like 200 plant species. 40 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,668 I'm sure you can study wallflowers at the party. 41 00:02:01,670 --> 00:02:02,505 Get ready. 42 00:02:04,006 --> 00:02:05,206 Whose party is it? 43 00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:07,441 I don't know, some old guy who still thinks 44 00:02:07,443 --> 00:02:10,278 it's appropriate to be hanging out with college students. 45 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:11,678 Ugh, that's creepy. 46 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:12,612 It's a Halloween party. 47 00:02:12,614 --> 00:02:13,850 It's supposed to be creepy. 48 00:02:15,317 --> 00:02:19,321 (UPBEAT ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC) 49 00:02:23,827 --> 00:02:25,660 Hello Bailey Nation, 50 00:02:25,662 --> 00:02:28,862 or Bailey World, Bailey Universe. 51 00:02:28,864 --> 00:02:30,898 We've been number one for the past five weeks, 52 00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:33,233 and I just wanna thank all of my awesome fans 53 00:02:33,235 --> 00:02:38,071 with, da, da, da, da, a tour of Hollywood's weirdest! 54 00:02:38,073 --> 00:02:40,340 Also, I wanna thank my very, very, 55 00:02:40,342 --> 00:02:42,176 very unfortunately short roommate, 56 00:02:42,178 --> 00:02:44,779 Emma, who's helping us film today. 57 00:02:44,781 --> 00:02:46,047 Emma is super studious, 58 00:02:46,049 --> 00:02:47,881 but I believe she has a really fun side 59 00:02:47,883 --> 00:02:49,750 underneath all those piles of books, 60 00:02:49,752 --> 00:02:52,920 and when she finds out the scientific cure for nerdom, 61 00:02:52,922 --> 00:02:55,123 she'll be having as much fun as the rest of us. 62 00:02:55,125 --> 00:02:56,459 Emma, say hi. 63 00:02:59,061 --> 00:03:02,095 You know, Emma, smiling doesn't cost you anything. 64 00:03:02,097 --> 00:03:04,731 Alright, so let's see what cannibal 65 00:03:04,733 --> 00:03:08,236 hobo freaks we can find today. 66 00:03:08,238 --> 00:03:09,070 (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC) 67 00:03:09,072 --> 00:03:09,904 ♪ Put my blindfold on ♪ 68 00:03:09,906 --> 00:03:11,071 ♪ I'm on the high wire ♪ 69 00:03:11,073 --> 00:03:12,305 ♪ This ain't no act baby ♪ 70 00:03:12,307 --> 00:03:13,541 ♪ 'Cause I'm on fire ♪ 71 00:03:13,543 --> 00:03:14,775 ♪ Throw your knives at me ♪ 72 00:03:14,777 --> 00:03:16,143 ♪ I'm your target girl ♪ 73 00:03:16,145 --> 00:03:18,880 ♪ I'll keep spinning livin' in the world ♪ 74 00:03:18,882 --> 00:03:20,280 ♪ It's you and me baby ♪ 75 00:03:20,282 --> 00:03:21,815 ♪ We're thicker than blood ♪ 76 00:03:21,817 --> 00:03:24,518 ♪ Spittin' up spittin out in Hollywood ♪ 77 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,987 ♪ You and me baby we got more than love ♪ 78 00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:29,923 ♪ Up above down below in Hollywood ♪ 79 00:03:29,925 --> 00:03:32,626 ♪ Up above down below in Hollywood ♪ 80 00:03:32,628 --> 00:03:36,865 ♪ Up above down below in Hollywood ♪ 81 00:03:43,539 --> 00:03:45,906 ♪ Up above down below in Hollywood ♪ 82 00:03:45,908 --> 00:03:48,809 ♪ Up above down below in Hollywood ♪ 83 00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:52,880 ♪ Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood ♪ 84 00:03:52,882 --> 00:03:56,786 ♪ Yeah ♪ 85 00:04:00,823 --> 00:04:04,826 So, uh, I know I've been quiet this entire time, 86 00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:08,362 but honestly, I'm just in shock right now. 87 00:04:08,364 --> 00:04:09,331 What now? 88 00:04:11,567 --> 00:04:14,603 Are you dressed as a, as a poop? 89 00:04:16,438 --> 00:04:17,273 Yes. 90 00:04:18,674 --> 00:04:21,609 So you thought it was a good idea to go to a cool party 91 00:04:21,611 --> 00:04:24,679 where you're gonna meet new people dressed as a turd? 92 00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:25,946 A poop. 93 00:04:25,948 --> 00:04:27,348 A turd is a poop. 94 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:30,350 No, a turd is a specific type of excrement. 95 00:04:30,352 --> 00:04:32,153 A poop is more general. 96 00:04:32,155 --> 00:04:33,353 I am a poop. 97 00:04:33,355 --> 00:04:38,360 So, you're generally speaking, 98 00:04:39,796 --> 00:04:42,062 depicting a broad category of excrement with your costume 99 00:04:42,064 --> 00:04:45,999 as opposed to a specific, single type of excrement? 100 00:04:46,001 --> 00:04:46,835 Yes. 101 00:04:49,371 --> 00:04:51,372 Okay then, moving on. 102 00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:53,840 When we get to the party, if anyone talks to you, 103 00:04:53,842 --> 00:04:56,877 which I highly doubt because you're dressed as a turd. 104 00:04:56,879 --> 00:04:57,811 A poop. 105 00:04:57,813 --> 00:04:59,482 Whatever, a frickin poop. 106 00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:03,985 Just don't mention anything about the str33k, okay? 107 00:05:03,987 --> 00:05:05,386 Especially if Brayden's there. 108 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:06,222 Fine. 109 00:05:07,323 --> 00:05:09,756 But you can smile, if you want. 110 00:05:09,758 --> 00:05:10,992 I don't. 111 00:05:10,994 --> 00:05:12,025 How 'bout laughing? 112 00:05:12,027 --> 00:05:14,328 (EMMA LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY) 113 00:05:14,330 --> 00:05:16,699 Good enough for a poop. 114 00:05:19,469 --> 00:05:21,903 (SKELETON LAUGHING) 115 00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:24,638 (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC) 116 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:28,843 (GUESTS CHATTERING) 117 00:05:28,845 --> 00:05:30,011 What's up lion buddy? 118 00:05:30,013 --> 00:05:34,950 (LAUGHING) 119 00:05:36,251 --> 00:05:41,256 EMMA: Kinky people can often find. 120 00:05:42,624 --> 00:05:44,124 Did you see that poseur carrot at the party? 121 00:05:44,126 --> 00:05:46,093 Oh, right. 122 00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:47,929 Oh, that's her. 123 00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:49,396 Hey, guys. 124 00:05:49,398 --> 00:05:52,299 Bailey, I can't believe you lost your str33k. 125 00:05:52,301 --> 00:05:55,102 Oh, yeah, well, Laura, you know? 126 00:05:55,104 --> 00:05:56,603 She's probably faking it. 127 00:05:56,605 --> 00:05:58,840 Yeah, um, excuse me. 128 00:06:04,313 --> 00:06:08,749 Did I ever tell you yellow is my favorite color? 129 00:06:08,751 --> 00:06:12,020 - This was a fun party. - Oh, you stink. 130 00:06:14,323 --> 00:06:16,925 Hi, Bailey. 131 00:06:21,063 --> 00:06:21,898 Hey, Brayden. 132 00:06:23,765 --> 00:06:25,633 I'm a little busy. 133 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,235 Oh, you weren't too busy to call me every 134 00:06:27,237 --> 00:06:29,502 single day last week begging to hang out. 135 00:06:29,504 --> 00:06:31,172 Well, you had a str33k then, now. 136 00:06:31,174 --> 00:06:33,107 Oh, now I'm just nobody? 137 00:06:33,109 --> 00:06:34,109 Yeah, pretty much. 138 00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,912 You know roses are my thing. 139 00:06:37,914 --> 00:06:39,980 I don't think you own the legal rights to roses. 140 00:06:39,982 --> 00:06:41,249 I don't think you own the legal 141 00:06:41,251 --> 00:06:42,283 rights to being a fucking dickhead. 142 00:06:42,285 --> 00:06:43,285 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 143 00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:45,787 Well, you're a loser. 144 00:06:46,922 --> 00:06:48,122 Good one. 145 00:06:48,124 --> 00:06:49,124 Give me back my key. 146 00:06:54,429 --> 00:06:55,862 You're finally gonna see how many bolts you get 147 00:06:55,864 --> 00:06:57,098 on your flashes when you don't 148 00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:58,331 have a woman doing everything for you. 149 00:06:58,333 --> 00:06:59,600 Oh, but I'm nobody, right? 150 00:06:59,602 --> 00:07:01,201 Whatever, I got a flash on the charts. 151 00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:02,302 Oh you do, really? 152 00:07:02,304 --> 00:07:03,537 Mm-hmm. 153 00:07:03,539 --> 00:07:04,705 Is it the one that I edited and shot, 154 00:07:04,707 --> 00:07:07,343 or the one that I wrote, edited and shot? 155 00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:12,646 Bye now. 156 00:07:12,648 --> 00:07:14,282 Ugh! 157 00:07:14,284 --> 00:07:17,318 ♪ Monster size monster size ♪ 158 00:07:17,320 --> 00:07:20,521 ♪ Seven foot tall he's monster size ♪ 159 00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:23,823 ♪ Monster size monster size ♪ 160 00:07:23,825 --> 00:07:26,761 ♪ Glowing in the dark those monster eyes ♪ 161 00:07:26,763 --> 00:07:28,629 ♪ Monster size monster size ♪ 162 00:07:28,631 --> 00:07:29,864 (SKELETON LAUGHING) 163 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:32,900 ♪ Seven foot tall he's monster size ♪ 164 00:07:32,902 --> 00:07:36,069 ♪ Monster size monster size ♪ 165 00:07:36,071 --> 00:07:39,674 ♪ Glowing in the dark those monster eyes. ♪ 166 00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:44,514 (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC) 167 00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:04,364 Yeah, so like, whose lame party is this anyway? 168 00:08:04,366 --> 00:08:07,568 Do you guys mind, I'm trying to study! 169 00:08:07,570 --> 00:08:09,072 Oh, sorry. 170 00:08:09,972 --> 00:08:11,739 Ugh! 171 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:16,746 Kinky people can often find good sex. 172 00:08:17,612 --> 00:08:18,746 Are you dressed as a turd? 173 00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:19,916 Oh shut up. 174 00:08:22,051 --> 00:08:24,620 Next year I'm dressing as something more popular. 175 00:08:26,254 --> 00:08:31,026 (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC) 176 00:08:32,561 --> 00:08:34,328 Bailey! 177 00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:36,963 Bailey! 178 00:08:36,965 --> 00:08:39,867 Bailey! 179 00:08:39,869 --> 00:08:42,969 Bailey! 180 00:08:42,971 --> 00:08:45,939 Bailey! 181 00:08:45,941 --> 00:08:48,041 Bailey! 182 00:08:48,043 --> 00:08:51,547 Bailey! 183 00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:56,083 It's 4 A.M., come on we have to go. 184 00:08:56,085 --> 00:08:57,117 Okay, okay, no. 185 00:08:57,119 --> 00:08:57,952 Five more minutes. 186 00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,620 No come on, get up. 187 00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:00,420 Okay, I'm going, I'm going. 188 00:09:00,422 --> 00:09:02,055 No you can't walk. 189 00:09:02,057 --> 00:09:03,223 No be careful! 190 00:09:03,225 --> 00:09:04,924 No, no, no you're drunk. 191 00:09:04,926 --> 00:09:06,227 No be careful, be careful. 192 00:09:06,229 --> 00:09:08,328 No, no, no, no, no, no be careful. 193 00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:13,032 (LAUGHS) 194 00:09:13,034 --> 00:09:14,436 What's so funny? 195 00:09:16,071 --> 00:09:17,105 Nothing's funny here. 196 00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:26,149 (CHEWING) 197 00:09:36,526 --> 00:09:39,459 Come on, you're okay. 198 00:09:39,461 --> 00:09:42,096 I'm so drunk Emma. 199 00:09:42,098 --> 00:09:43,332 I can tell. 200 00:09:44,633 --> 00:09:47,233 I'm really angry with you right now. 201 00:09:47,235 --> 00:09:48,069 Why? 202 00:09:49,439 --> 00:09:51,307 You know I don't know how to drive. 203 00:09:54,877 --> 00:09:58,112 Then why are you sitting in the driver's seat? 204 00:09:58,114 --> 00:09:59,914 They taught us in health class in high school 205 00:09:59,916 --> 00:10:01,281 that it is better to drive without 206 00:10:01,283 --> 00:10:03,583 a license than it is to drive drunk. 207 00:10:03,585 --> 00:10:06,388 Oh, I bet you got an A, miss smarty pants. 208 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:08,523 I did. 209 00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:12,161 You're gonna fail that test tomorrow. 210 00:10:14,029 --> 00:10:18,799 Kinky people, something. 211 00:10:18,801 --> 00:10:20,369 Fuck, who cares? 212 00:10:21,571 --> 00:10:23,871 Well, Professor Vargas probably does. 213 00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:25,772 No she doesn't. 214 00:10:25,774 --> 00:10:28,343 She comments on all my flashes, she doesn't care. 215 00:10:29,579 --> 00:10:31,681 Everyone just cares about flashes, anyway. 216 00:10:33,782 --> 00:10:35,748 That's not true. 217 00:10:35,750 --> 00:10:37,119 People like you for you. 218 00:10:39,088 --> 00:10:40,656 You don't even like me for me. 219 00:10:41,590 --> 00:10:42,424 I do too. 220 00:10:43,426 --> 00:10:45,228 I liked you before the flashes. 221 00:10:47,028 --> 00:10:49,128 I still like you now. 222 00:10:49,130 --> 00:10:52,665 I just wish you cared about something other than clicks. 223 00:10:52,667 --> 00:10:54,602 And I also wish that you were driving right now 224 00:10:54,604 --> 00:10:56,237 because this is making me very anxious. 225 00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:57,538 Oh wow, we're getting real real 226 00:10:57,540 --> 00:10:59,506 in the car right now, okay. 227 00:10:59,508 --> 00:11:01,242 It's a safe space here. 228 00:11:01,244 --> 00:11:02,775 So safe. 229 00:11:02,777 --> 00:11:06,413 Soon we'll be hurling down the street, out of control. 230 00:11:06,415 --> 00:11:08,348 We're hurtling down the street out of control. 231 00:11:08,350 --> 00:11:09,549 Stop, stop! 232 00:11:09,551 --> 00:11:11,484 No, you're not making me feel any better 233 00:11:11,486 --> 00:11:12,719 about this driving thing. 234 00:11:12,721 --> 00:11:14,221 Okay, then we'll just stay here then. 235 00:11:14,223 --> 00:11:16,656 Jesus Christ, I don't give a fuck. 236 00:11:16,658 --> 00:11:18,157 No, I can't do that. 237 00:11:18,159 --> 00:11:20,627 I didn't have any time to study at that stupid party, 238 00:11:20,629 --> 00:11:21,694 we wasted a ton of time. 239 00:11:21,696 --> 00:11:24,299 Oh that party was so stupid. 240 00:11:25,734 --> 00:11:28,636 Everyone there just liked me cause I had a str33k. 241 00:11:28,638 --> 00:11:33,107 And now they like Laura who is dying of cancer. 242 00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:34,407 Whatever, she'll be dead soon, 243 00:11:34,409 --> 00:11:36,077 then everyone will like me again. 244 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:38,314 I have a plan. 245 00:11:39,648 --> 00:11:42,016 Okay, am I involved in this plan somehow? 246 00:11:42,018 --> 00:11:42,884 Uh, duh. 247 00:11:44,854 --> 00:11:47,223 Well, do you wanna tell me about it? 248 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,694 In due time my dear. 249 00:11:52,894 --> 00:11:54,663 In due time. 250 00:11:55,931 --> 00:12:00,800 (LAUGHS) 251 00:12:00,802 --> 00:12:04,572 I knew I could get you. 252 00:12:04,574 --> 00:12:07,107 (CAR HORN HONKS) 253 00:12:07,109 --> 00:12:11,113 (ELECTRONIC INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) 254 00:12:26,095 --> 00:12:30,999 (EMMA AND BAILEY CHATTERING IN BACKGROUND) 255 00:12:48,117 --> 00:12:50,918 I can't get my key out if I'm holding you up. 256 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:53,687 Ugh! 257 00:12:53,689 --> 00:12:56,122 I lost my key. 258 00:12:56,124 --> 00:12:57,323 What do you mean? 259 00:12:57,325 --> 00:12:58,458 I thought you brought your own key 260 00:12:58,460 --> 00:13:00,196 and you got Brayden's key back. 261 00:13:00,997 --> 00:13:01,895 Oh yeah. 262 00:13:01,897 --> 00:13:03,997 Hold on. 263 00:13:03,999 --> 00:13:05,232 Ugh. 264 00:13:05,234 --> 00:13:10,071 (KEY CLATTERING) 265 00:13:13,308 --> 00:13:17,011 Oh, no no no. 266 00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:18,945 Come on. 267 00:13:18,947 --> 00:13:23,351 (OMINOUS MUSIC) 268 00:13:41,903 --> 00:13:44,170 No, you're fine. 269 00:13:44,172 --> 00:13:45,939 I'm gonna make this bed for you okay? 270 00:13:45,941 --> 00:13:48,076 Oh no, I don't want it. 271 00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:50,144 Good night. 272 00:13:50,146 --> 00:13:51,781 Wait, we need to say our prayers. 273 00:13:54,082 --> 00:13:55,214 Fine. 274 00:13:55,216 --> 00:13:56,684 Okay you start. 275 00:13:56,686 --> 00:13:59,620 Dear Lord, please let Bailey go to sleep 276 00:13:59,622 --> 00:14:02,055 and wake up with no hangover so I don't 277 00:14:02,057 --> 00:14:04,257 have to hear her complain tomorrow. 278 00:14:04,259 --> 00:14:05,291 Ugh good one. 279 00:14:05,293 --> 00:14:06,760 Okay. 280 00:14:06,762 --> 00:14:09,796 Dear Lord, please do that thing that Emma said, 281 00:14:09,798 --> 00:14:11,865 and also please give me the confidence 282 00:14:11,867 --> 00:14:13,766 of a mediocre white man so I can go 283 00:14:13,768 --> 00:14:16,336 through my life as brazen as I'd like. 284 00:14:16,338 --> 00:14:17,570 Did you really need that? 285 00:14:17,572 --> 00:14:19,606 Oh and please make sure that Laura 286 00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:23,010 gets better so that she can stop hogging 287 00:14:23,012 --> 00:14:24,277 the top of the str33ker charts 288 00:14:24,279 --> 00:14:26,612 and I can get my record str33k going again. 289 00:14:26,614 --> 00:14:28,348 You're a real saint, Bailey. 290 00:14:28,350 --> 00:14:30,883 No one can say I don't care about others. 291 00:14:30,885 --> 00:14:31,720 Goodnight. 292 00:14:41,430 --> 00:14:46,168 (OMINOUS ELECTRONIC MUSIC) 293 00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:54,174 (SOMBER PIANO MUSIC) 294 00:14:54,176 --> 00:14:56,075 Like every patriotic American, 295 00:14:56,077 --> 00:14:57,611 you wanna start your morning right 296 00:14:57,613 --> 00:15:00,848 with delicious, nutritious toaster pastries. 297 00:15:00,850 --> 00:15:04,718 But heating up normal toaster pastries is such a hassle. 298 00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,819 They never fit in the toaster. 299 00:15:06,821 --> 00:15:10,424 Even when they do, they always come out too cold. 300 00:15:10,426 --> 00:15:11,824 Or too hot. 301 00:15:11,826 --> 00:15:12,626 (RECORD SCRATCH) 302 00:15:12,628 --> 00:15:13,861 Well, not anymore. 303 00:15:13,863 --> 00:15:16,530 With new toot strudels radioactive flavors. 304 00:15:16,532 --> 00:15:18,866 Toot strudels radioactive flavors use patented 305 00:15:18,868 --> 00:15:20,733 nuclear technology to self heat 306 00:15:20,735 --> 00:15:23,035 to precisely the right temperature. 307 00:15:23,037 --> 00:15:24,304 Just open the packaging, 308 00:15:24,306 --> 00:15:26,607 exposing the atomic isotopes to air, 309 00:15:26,609 --> 00:15:30,012 and in seconds your toot strudels are ready to eat. 310 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:36,183 Normal toaster pastries get cold before you can finish them. 311 00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:40,253 Toot strudels stay the perfect temperature all day long. 312 00:15:40,255 --> 00:15:41,854 Don't spend hours making perfect 313 00:15:41,856 --> 00:15:43,756 toaster pastries for breakfast, 314 00:15:43,758 --> 00:15:45,324 throw away that toaster! 315 00:15:45,326 --> 00:15:49,262 With three toot strudels fluorescent glow favorites. 316 00:15:49,264 --> 00:15:51,198 Radioactive watermelon! 317 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,232 Atomic eggplant! 318 00:15:53,234 --> 00:15:55,001 And nuclear celery. 319 00:15:55,003 --> 00:15:57,871 And of course, no one can eat just one toot strudel. 320 00:15:57,873 --> 00:15:59,573 So we put two amazing, 321 00:15:59,575 --> 00:16:02,342 perfectly baked strudels in every pouch. 322 00:16:02,344 --> 00:16:04,678 That's right, two perfect temperature 323 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:06,914 toot strudels in every pouch. 324 00:16:06,916 --> 00:16:08,582 So you get a double dose that will set 325 00:16:08,584 --> 00:16:11,684 your Geiger counters clicking every single day. 326 00:16:11,686 --> 00:16:13,820 And don't forget to take our which toot strudel 327 00:16:13,822 --> 00:16:16,689 are you quiz to find out if you are cool 328 00:16:16,691 --> 00:16:19,492 and confident like radioactive watermelon. 329 00:16:19,494 --> 00:16:22,462 Strong and steady, like nuclear celery. 330 00:16:22,464 --> 00:16:25,600 Or spontaneous and weird, like atomic eggplant. 331 00:16:29,537 --> 00:16:30,703 Hello! 332 00:16:30,705 --> 00:16:32,707 I am Professor Wolfgang van Tütstrudel! 333 00:16:33,942 --> 00:16:37,511 The inventor of the patented toot strudel 334 00:16:37,513 --> 00:16:39,715 self heating toaster pastry. 335 00:16:40,816 --> 00:16:43,049 Join me on November 11th 336 00:16:43,051 --> 00:16:46,285 for National Toaster Pastry Day. 337 00:16:46,287 --> 00:16:50,823 And you could win a lifetime supply of toot strudels. 338 00:16:50,825 --> 00:16:54,527 That's right, three square meals a day 339 00:16:54,529 --> 00:16:58,732 of toot strudels for the rest of your existence. 340 00:16:58,734 --> 00:17:03,002 Just upload your best five bolt flashes 341 00:17:03,004 --> 00:17:05,371 about what toot strudels mean to you. 342 00:17:05,373 --> 00:17:08,075 And you could be our lucky winner. 343 00:17:08,077 --> 00:17:09,710 Toot strudels! 344 00:17:09,712 --> 00:17:12,779 The official toaster pastry of str33ker. 345 00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:16,884 There's froot in every toot. 346 00:17:16,886 --> 00:17:20,553 (PLAYFUL INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) 347 00:17:20,555 --> 00:17:22,021 Froot contains no flavors, colors, pulp, 348 00:17:22,023 --> 00:17:25,994 or other natural derivatives of fruits or vegetables. 349 00:17:27,295 --> 00:17:32,132 Kinky people can often find 350 00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:34,336 good sex. 351 00:17:40,376 --> 00:17:42,442 Hey there sleepy head. 352 00:17:42,444 --> 00:17:43,409 That was some party last night. 353 00:17:43,411 --> 00:17:44,344 Shh! 354 00:17:44,346 --> 00:17:46,312 Why do you have to be so loud? 355 00:17:46,314 --> 00:17:47,547 Please. 356 00:17:47,549 --> 00:17:50,751 Um, I was speaking at normal indoor volume. 357 00:17:50,753 --> 00:17:53,522 Don't try to confuse me with your flawless logic, 358 00:17:54,122 --> 00:17:55,355 Emma, okay? 359 00:17:55,357 --> 00:17:57,725 I have not seen you this hungover in awhile. 360 00:17:58,627 --> 00:17:59,559 (EMMA LAUGHS) 361 00:17:59,561 --> 00:18:01,395 I think you had one too many. 362 00:18:01,397 --> 00:18:03,999 Ten too many. 363 00:18:05,333 --> 00:18:08,670 Ugh, thank god, I'm starving. 364 00:18:19,514 --> 00:18:23,017 Fine, fine, I'll just have a glass of water. 365 00:18:26,722 --> 00:18:27,553 (SIPS) 366 00:18:27,555 --> 00:18:29,023 Mm, filling. 367 00:18:31,126 --> 00:18:34,161 You know I had the strangest dream last night? 368 00:18:34,163 --> 00:18:35,896 About what? 369 00:18:35,898 --> 00:18:37,097 You were in the shower. 370 00:18:37,099 --> 00:18:38,030 Perv. 371 00:18:38,032 --> 00:18:39,132 No! 372 00:18:39,134 --> 00:18:40,500 Not like that. 373 00:18:40,502 --> 00:18:43,036 Not all sexy and stuff. 374 00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:44,437 Are you saying I'm not sexy? 375 00:18:44,439 --> 00:18:45,840 You know what I mean. 376 00:18:47,943 --> 00:18:50,444 Anyway, you were in the shower. 377 00:18:50,446 --> 00:18:54,681 I saw a face glowing in the reflection of the door. 378 00:18:54,683 --> 00:18:57,084 It was an evil face. 379 00:18:57,086 --> 00:18:58,751 And then they pulled out a knife 380 00:18:58,753 --> 00:19:01,588 and started stabbing at you wildly. 381 00:19:01,590 --> 00:19:03,324 You were spitting out blood. 382 00:19:04,225 --> 00:19:05,492 And you reached for the glass 383 00:19:05,494 --> 00:19:08,797 and left a hand print on it, and then fell. 384 00:19:10,264 --> 00:19:13,367 And the killer was breathing heavily. 385 00:19:13,369 --> 00:19:15,668 I could hear their heartbeat. 386 00:19:15,670 --> 00:19:20,040 I saw the knife and it said doppelgänger on it. 387 00:19:20,042 --> 00:19:22,576 Why would the knife say doppelgänger on it? 388 00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:23,909 I don't know! 389 00:19:23,911 --> 00:19:26,215 That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. 390 00:19:27,148 --> 00:19:28,882 I can't control my dreams! 391 00:19:28,884 --> 00:19:29,849 Sure you can. 392 00:19:29,851 --> 00:19:31,285 Have better dreams next time. 393 00:19:32,221 --> 00:19:37,226 (PHONE VIBRATES AND RINGS) 394 00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:40,092 How did you film this? 395 00:19:40,094 --> 00:19:40,928 Film what? 396 00:19:42,363 --> 00:19:44,030 Us coming home last night? 397 00:19:44,032 --> 00:19:46,001 I don't remember anything from last night. 398 00:19:47,668 --> 00:19:48,836 Take a look at this. 399 00:19:50,872 --> 00:19:52,571 EMMA: I can't get my key out if I'm holding you up. 400 00:19:52,573 --> 00:19:56,242 What the fuck? 401 00:19:56,244 --> 00:19:58,177 This is terrifying. 402 00:19:58,179 --> 00:19:59,646 I'm calling the police. 403 00:19:59,648 --> 00:20:00,981 How many views does it have? 404 00:20:00,983 --> 00:20:02,717 EMMA: I thought you had your own key 405 00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:04,119 and got Brayden's back? 406 00:20:04,852 --> 00:20:06,888 20,000 and rising. 407 00:20:07,923 --> 00:20:09,425 Five bolts? 408 00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:11,926 Five bolts. 409 00:20:13,361 --> 00:20:14,194 Don't worry about it then. 410 00:20:14,196 --> 00:20:15,694 Don't call the police. 411 00:20:15,696 --> 00:20:17,798 It's probably just creepy Mrs. Wilson from next door. 412 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:19,066 She's harmless. 413 00:20:19,068 --> 00:20:20,903 But how did she get your password? 414 00:20:22,303 --> 00:20:24,136 I don't know, I'll just change it. 415 00:20:24,138 --> 00:20:24,971 Who cares? 416 00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:26,473 Don't freak out. 417 00:20:26,475 --> 00:20:27,706 I'm too hungover to deal with it right now, anyway. 418 00:20:27,708 --> 00:20:29,610 Plus it will start a new str33k for me. 419 00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:33,046 We had better get to that exam anyway. 420 00:20:33,048 --> 00:20:35,682 Kinky people can often find good sex. 421 00:20:35,684 --> 00:20:38,617 How could you joke at a time like this? 422 00:20:38,619 --> 00:20:39,418 Joke? 423 00:20:39,420 --> 00:20:40,221 I'm studying. 424 00:20:42,657 --> 00:20:44,124 (EMMA SIGHS) 425 00:20:44,126 --> 00:20:46,893 Okay class, you have 15 minutes. 426 00:20:46,895 --> 00:20:49,829 I just want to give you a little hint 427 00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:50,631 for the classification taxonomy on number 13. 428 00:21:02,778 --> 00:21:04,113 EMMA: Shh! Be quiet 429 00:21:06,849 --> 00:21:08,647 I don't know like 90% of this shit. 430 00:21:08,649 --> 00:21:12,753 Shh, knock it off or you'll flunk us both. 431 00:21:22,664 --> 00:21:24,500 I don't know like 90% of this shit. 432 00:21:26,435 --> 00:21:31,070 Shh, cut it out. 433 00:21:31,072 --> 00:21:32,640 Is there a problem, ladies? 434 00:21:35,377 --> 00:21:37,644 Yeah, actually... 435 00:21:37,646 --> 00:21:40,113 No, no, not at all, Professor Vargas. 436 00:21:40,115 --> 00:21:42,449 Bailey just needed to borrow a pencil. 437 00:21:42,451 --> 00:21:47,287 Very well, just remember there's no talking during exams. 438 00:21:47,289 --> 00:21:49,255 Yes, Professor, of course. 439 00:21:49,257 --> 00:21:50,557 And both of you come and see 440 00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:52,528 me in my office after the exam. 441 00:21:54,629 --> 00:21:59,600 (EMMA HUFFS) 442 00:22:21,557 --> 00:22:23,792 Fuck. 443 00:22:25,060 --> 00:22:29,828 I'm very disappointed, especially in you, Emma. 444 00:22:29,830 --> 00:22:31,565 - I... - Don't I. 445 00:22:31,567 --> 00:22:33,399 You should know better than to ask 446 00:22:33,401 --> 00:22:35,868 Bailey for answers during an exam. 447 00:22:35,870 --> 00:22:37,136 But you don't... 448 00:22:37,138 --> 00:22:40,440 No, now Bailey, I am so sorry that 449 00:22:40,442 --> 00:22:43,742 you have to be a party to this dishonesty. 450 00:22:43,744 --> 00:22:48,280 Let me present you with this rose as a token of gratitude. 451 00:22:48,282 --> 00:22:49,883 - Thank you. - Mmhmm. 452 00:22:49,885 --> 00:22:52,484 Professor Vargas, please don't be too hard on her. 453 00:22:52,486 --> 00:22:53,787 She's really a good kid, 454 00:22:53,789 --> 00:22:56,088 and it's just hard being my roommate 455 00:22:56,090 --> 00:22:57,624 with all the attention. 456 00:22:57,626 --> 00:22:59,291 I could only imagine. 457 00:22:59,293 --> 00:23:02,729 You know, your last str33k was wonderful work. 458 00:23:02,731 --> 00:23:04,530 It's just I'm so sorry that that 459 00:23:04,532 --> 00:23:07,233 cancerous bitch knocked you down. 460 00:23:07,235 --> 00:23:08,167 Well thank you Professor Vargas. 461 00:23:08,169 --> 00:23:09,603 Oh no, you don't deserve it. 462 00:23:09,605 --> 00:23:11,037 Call me Harriet. 463 00:23:11,039 --> 00:23:13,473 - Oh, thank you, Harriet. - Yes, thank you. 464 00:23:13,475 --> 00:23:14,741 Oh, cancer is hard to beat. 465 00:23:14,743 --> 00:23:17,409 Well, you can do it, I have faith in you. 466 00:23:17,411 --> 00:23:19,511 I hope so, I think I can. 467 00:23:19,513 --> 00:23:22,350 Oh, I know you can, I enjoy your work. 468 00:23:23,619 --> 00:23:25,719 She's so nice, isn't she? 469 00:23:25,721 --> 00:23:27,220 She, but she. 470 00:23:27,222 --> 00:23:29,222 I just wish all my professors were that understanding. 471 00:23:29,224 --> 00:23:31,760 Hey, hey, um you left my rose behind. 472 00:23:33,061 --> 00:23:34,828 So I did. 473 00:23:34,830 --> 00:23:39,001 (HEAVY ROCK MUSIC) 474 00:23:42,904 --> 00:23:46,306 ♪ You want to write my story ♪ 475 00:23:46,308 --> 00:23:50,777 So is it just me or was that test, like, mostly pointless? 476 00:23:50,779 --> 00:23:52,511 Eh, it's just you. 477 00:23:52,513 --> 00:23:56,950 Yeah, like I said, Dr. Vargas does not give a shit. 478 00:23:56,952 --> 00:23:57,916 Oh, God, don't look. 479 00:23:57,918 --> 00:23:59,618 It's that creeper, Mrs. Wilson. 480 00:23:59,620 --> 00:24:01,855 Hi girls, hi Bailey. 481 00:24:01,857 --> 00:24:02,688 I loved your latest flash. 482 00:24:02,690 --> 00:24:03,857 Hi Mrs. Wilson. 483 00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:04,691 Don't, don't, don't, don't. 484 00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:05,524 Bye. 485 00:24:05,526 --> 00:24:06,358 What are you doing? 486 00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:07,193 Don't talk to her. 487 00:24:07,195 --> 00:24:08,127 Why? 488 00:24:08,129 --> 00:24:08,927 She gave me 500 thousand views. 489 00:24:08,929 --> 00:24:09,697 If that was her. 490 00:24:11,233 --> 00:24:12,699 No, she's really creepy, I... 491 00:24:12,701 --> 00:24:14,603 Don't talk to her, I don't trust her. 492 00:24:16,338 --> 00:24:19,306 (DOOR SCREECHES) 493 00:24:19,308 --> 00:24:20,540 Will you fail the next test on purpose 494 00:24:20,542 --> 00:24:22,142 so that we can stay in class together? 495 00:24:22,144 --> 00:24:24,511 Well, why don't you actually try studying for once, 496 00:24:24,513 --> 00:24:26,514 and then we can stay in class together. 497 00:24:27,616 --> 00:24:28,617 Nah, too annoying. 498 00:24:29,984 --> 00:24:30,916 Know what I've been thinking? 499 00:24:30,918 --> 00:24:33,185 Uh oh, you've been thinking? 500 00:24:33,187 --> 00:24:36,123 I know, it's painful, but once in a while a neuron fires. 501 00:24:39,261 --> 00:24:42,662 I was thinking, why do I even need college? 502 00:24:42,664 --> 00:24:44,164 What? 503 00:24:44,166 --> 00:24:46,465 I mean, I'm a junior, and I'm still undeclared, 504 00:24:46,467 --> 00:24:48,702 and I don't really care about much. 505 00:24:48,704 --> 00:24:52,338 I'm making awesome flashes that get five bolts, 506 00:24:52,340 --> 00:24:54,107 that's what I'm good at. 507 00:24:54,109 --> 00:24:57,277 Bailey, you can't be serious? 508 00:24:57,279 --> 00:24:58,845 Why not? 509 00:24:58,847 --> 00:25:00,413 Bailey, are you crazy? 510 00:25:00,415 --> 00:25:03,215 You can't make a living off of str33ker. 511 00:25:03,217 --> 00:25:05,117 But I'm famous. 512 00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:07,854 Bailey, you're internet famous, 513 00:25:07,856 --> 00:25:10,723 not even internet famous, but str33ker famous. 514 00:25:10,725 --> 00:25:12,925 Str33ker famous and famous are two 515 00:25:12,927 --> 00:25:14,260 completely different things. 516 00:25:14,262 --> 00:25:15,561 You're being such a bitch right now. 517 00:25:15,563 --> 00:25:17,431 I got five million views just today. 518 00:25:18,833 --> 00:25:21,734 Yeah, of that guy stalking you from outside. 519 00:25:21,736 --> 00:25:23,036 You have to think about your future. 520 00:25:23,038 --> 00:25:24,436 I am thinking about my future. 521 00:25:24,438 --> 00:25:26,006 This is why I'm bringing it up. 522 00:25:27,175 --> 00:25:29,174 Wait, how do you know it was a guy? 523 00:25:29,176 --> 00:25:30,643 That's sexist. 524 00:25:30,645 --> 00:25:32,511 Okay, I don't know it was a guy, but... 525 00:25:32,513 --> 00:25:35,714 Okay, well, girls stalk people too, sometimes. 526 00:25:35,716 --> 00:25:37,216 Okay, fine. 527 00:25:37,218 --> 00:25:38,417 Well, you need to think about your future in case, 528 00:25:38,419 --> 00:25:40,587 the guy or girl stalker doesn't murder you. 529 00:25:40,589 --> 00:25:42,555 What, so I can earn 70 cents 530 00:25:42,557 --> 00:25:44,790 to the dollar and hit a glass ceiling? 531 00:25:44,792 --> 00:25:47,327 No one takes me seriously, Emma. 532 00:25:47,329 --> 00:25:49,028 Well, maybe if you didn't act the way you act. 533 00:25:49,030 --> 00:25:50,562 How do I act? 534 00:25:50,564 --> 00:25:51,832 - The way you act... - I what? 535 00:25:52,967 --> 00:25:55,467 Never mind, never mind. 536 00:25:55,469 --> 00:25:57,537 You're just twisting my words. 537 00:25:57,539 --> 00:25:59,539 You're too smart to not be taken seriously. 538 00:25:59,541 --> 00:26:02,341 Okay, well maybe too smart to get a normal job, 539 00:26:02,343 --> 00:26:05,110 and too smart to lead a normal life. 540 00:26:05,112 --> 00:26:07,213 If I were dumber, you'd be happier, 541 00:26:07,215 --> 00:26:09,449 then I could just be safe and do the safe thing, 542 00:26:09,451 --> 00:26:10,716 is that what you're asking me to do? 543 00:26:10,718 --> 00:26:12,452 Yeah, that's probably what you should do, 544 00:26:12,454 --> 00:26:15,387 but you make it sound so bad. 545 00:26:15,389 --> 00:26:17,557 You're sounding like a crazy person. 546 00:26:17,559 --> 00:26:20,527 You can't just sit around making videos all day, 547 00:26:20,529 --> 00:26:21,728 not for a living. 548 00:26:21,730 --> 00:26:23,328 There are other popular internet stars 549 00:26:23,330 --> 00:26:25,264 that you know that make plenty of money. 550 00:26:25,266 --> 00:26:26,465 What's your point? 551 00:26:26,467 --> 00:26:27,934 My point is, I thought you were my friend. 552 00:26:27,936 --> 00:26:29,202 What's that supposed to mean? 553 00:26:29,204 --> 00:26:30,970 It means you're supposed to support me. 554 00:26:30,972 --> 00:26:32,938 I do support you, that's why I'm always 555 00:26:32,940 --> 00:26:34,473 helping you make your stupid videos. 556 00:26:34,475 --> 00:26:35,308 Stupid? 557 00:26:35,310 --> 00:26:37,342 They're flashes! 558 00:26:37,344 --> 00:26:39,111 That's not what I meant, what I meant was... 559 00:26:39,113 --> 00:26:41,013 I know what you meant, alright. 560 00:26:41,015 --> 00:26:42,281 No, hear me out. 561 00:26:42,283 --> 00:26:43,782 No, you said, you said too much, dude. 562 00:26:43,784 --> 00:26:47,619 Just go get me my sweatshirt, I'm cold. 563 00:26:47,621 --> 00:26:52,226 (SOMBER MUSIC) 564 00:26:59,167 --> 00:27:00,633 Bailey, did you leave a grenade 565 00:27:00,635 --> 00:27:02,635 in your underwear this morning? 566 00:27:02,637 --> 00:27:04,503 Why? 567 00:27:04,505 --> 00:27:06,140 They're all over the floor. 568 00:27:08,642 --> 00:27:12,246 (COMPUTER MOUSE SCROLLING) 569 00:27:13,247 --> 00:27:15,647 ♪ Grow man grow ♪ 570 00:27:15,649 --> 00:27:18,117 ♪ Grow man grow ♪ 571 00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:20,021 ♪ Grow man grow man grow man grow ♪ 572 00:27:20,754 --> 00:27:22,858 (STALKER SNIFFS LOUDLY) 573 00:27:23,625 --> 00:27:25,023 ♪ Grow man grow ♪ 574 00:27:25,025 --> 00:27:27,226 ♪ Grow man grow ♪ 575 00:27:27,228 --> 00:27:31,598 ♪ Grow man grow man grow man grow ♪ 576 00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:35,934 ♪ I'm sick of being called shorty ♪ 577 00:27:35,936 --> 00:27:40,140 ♪ $7.98 new height guaranteed ♪ 578 00:27:42,077 --> 00:27:44,446 (STALKER SNIFFS LOUDLY) 579 00:27:46,013 --> 00:27:47,614 Aren't you freaking out? 580 00:27:47,616 --> 00:27:48,947 This your idea of a joke? 581 00:27:48,949 --> 00:27:50,517 What do you mean? 582 00:27:50,519 --> 00:27:52,151 You just told me to stop making flashes, 583 00:27:52,153 --> 00:27:54,654 and then my most recent one gets sabotaged? 584 00:27:54,656 --> 00:27:57,223 Bailey, that is not me tossing your underwear around. 585 00:27:57,225 --> 00:27:58,724 I know it's not you, Emma. 586 00:27:58,726 --> 00:28:00,592 You're short as fuck, and you're with me all day. 587 00:28:00,594 --> 00:28:04,030 My point, so what exactly am I getting blamed for here? 588 00:28:04,032 --> 00:28:05,330 Who'd you get to do it? 589 00:28:05,332 --> 00:28:06,732 Who'd I get to do what? 590 00:28:06,734 --> 00:28:08,902 Come into your room and act all creepy? 591 00:28:08,904 --> 00:28:10,403 Right, who? 592 00:28:10,405 --> 00:28:11,538 I know I'm your only friend, 593 00:28:11,540 --> 00:28:13,241 so did you hire someone or what? 594 00:28:14,676 --> 00:28:16,576 Okay, first of all, you are not my only friend. 595 00:28:16,578 --> 00:28:17,409 Yes I am. 596 00:28:17,411 --> 00:28:18,877 No, you're not! 597 00:28:18,879 --> 00:28:21,481 Second of all, why on earth would I hire someone to do this? 598 00:28:21,483 --> 00:28:23,616 You just told me to stop making flashes. 599 00:28:23,618 --> 00:28:24,850 I did not. 600 00:28:24,852 --> 00:28:26,552 I said you could not do this for a living. 601 00:28:26,554 --> 00:28:27,486 Ugh! 602 00:28:27,488 --> 00:28:28,687 You only hear what you want. 603 00:28:28,689 --> 00:28:30,322 You said what I heard, you told me to stop. 604 00:28:30,324 --> 00:28:31,723 If I really wanted you to stop, 605 00:28:31,725 --> 00:28:33,559 this is not how I would do it. 606 00:28:33,561 --> 00:28:35,427 I'm always helping you with your flashes all the time. 607 00:28:35,429 --> 00:28:37,599 Did you ever stop to think about that? 608 00:28:38,832 --> 00:28:41,733 No, I guess I hadn't thought about that. 609 00:28:41,735 --> 00:28:43,036 Right, I've been helping you 610 00:28:43,038 --> 00:28:45,271 with your channel since day one. 611 00:28:45,273 --> 00:28:46,705 Okay, well if it's not you, 612 00:28:46,707 --> 00:28:48,508 then who's trying to sabotage me? 613 00:28:48,510 --> 00:28:50,209 I think the better question would be how did 614 00:28:50,211 --> 00:28:52,811 this person get into your room to film this? 615 00:28:52,813 --> 00:28:53,980 Should we call the cops? 616 00:28:53,982 --> 00:28:55,048 Yes, I'll call. 617 00:28:55,050 --> 00:28:55,982 No, no, no, no. 618 00:28:55,984 --> 00:28:57,649 What do you mean, no, no, no? 619 00:28:57,651 --> 00:28:59,652 I should call, it's my underwear and I don't 620 00:28:59,654 --> 00:29:01,486 want you to make it sound unsexy or something. 621 00:29:01,488 --> 00:29:02,355 Really? 622 00:29:02,357 --> 00:29:03,556 Yeah, really. 623 00:29:03,558 --> 00:29:05,258 Fine, you make the call, but do it! 624 00:29:05,260 --> 00:29:07,762 Okay. 625 00:29:08,629 --> 00:29:10,128 Um, the number is 911. 626 00:29:10,130 --> 00:29:12,030 I'm getting there, Emma. 627 00:29:12,032 --> 00:29:14,466 (EMMA SIGHS) 628 00:29:14,468 --> 00:29:16,836 This is my new roommate Emma. 629 00:29:16,838 --> 00:29:18,540 We just moved in together today. 630 00:29:19,541 --> 00:29:20,906 I met her on the Str33ker forums 631 00:29:20,908 --> 00:29:22,709 and we love all the same things. 632 00:29:22,711 --> 00:29:24,042 Also, we're both beautiful and smart. 633 00:29:24,044 --> 00:29:28,782 (DOORBELL RINGS) 634 00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:36,358 What's going on? 635 00:29:39,994 --> 00:29:42,664 Alright, looks like the coast is clear. 636 00:29:43,798 --> 00:29:46,965 Yes, thanks for your bravery. 637 00:29:46,967 --> 00:29:48,268 All in the line of duty. 638 00:29:49,937 --> 00:29:51,838 Haven't I seen you somewhere before? 639 00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:54,240 I don't know, were you in 'Nam? 640 00:29:54,242 --> 00:29:55,441 What? 641 00:29:55,443 --> 00:29:56,876 No. 642 00:29:56,878 --> 00:29:58,980 Neither was I, so we probably didn't meet there. 643 00:29:59,914 --> 00:30:02,447 Um, okay, not important. 644 00:30:02,449 --> 00:30:03,649 Look somebody broke... 645 00:30:03,651 --> 00:30:04,450 Look, guys I gotta take a breather, 646 00:30:04,452 --> 00:30:05,917 I gotta take a breather. 647 00:30:05,919 --> 00:30:08,322 Come fill me in, alright, just come fill me in. 648 00:30:13,628 --> 00:30:15,828 Somebody broke into our apartment and made a video 649 00:30:15,830 --> 00:30:17,496 while we were on campus for class. 650 00:30:17,498 --> 00:30:19,866 A flash, a flash, it's called a flash. 651 00:30:19,868 --> 00:30:21,600 - A flash? - Yeah. 652 00:30:21,602 --> 00:30:22,734 What? 653 00:30:22,736 --> 00:30:23,571 A flash. 654 00:30:25,005 --> 00:30:26,271 A video. 655 00:30:26,273 --> 00:30:27,773 Whatever, someone came in and played 52 pickup 656 00:30:27,775 --> 00:30:30,576 with my underwear, which is very sexy, I might add. 657 00:30:30,578 --> 00:30:32,110 Write that down, write that down. 658 00:30:32,112 --> 00:30:34,379 He doesn't care if your underwear is sexy or not. 659 00:30:34,381 --> 00:30:36,982 Look, I am here to get to the bottom of this, I mean. 660 00:30:36,984 --> 00:30:41,889 Um, you have some, um, on your hat. 661 00:30:43,390 --> 00:30:45,390 Oh, so I do. 662 00:30:45,392 --> 00:30:47,894 Look, I'm here to gather clues, okay? 663 00:30:47,896 --> 00:30:49,962 If the underwear being sexy is a clue, 664 00:30:49,964 --> 00:30:51,563 I need to know about it. 665 00:30:51,565 --> 00:30:55,568 It's not a clue really, Bailey has a stalker. 666 00:30:55,570 --> 00:30:56,536 I'm sure this is the first time 667 00:30:56,538 --> 00:30:58,236 the stalker saw her underwear. 668 00:30:58,238 --> 00:30:59,338 Are you sure? 669 00:30:59,340 --> 00:31:01,941 I don't display my underwear. 670 00:31:01,943 --> 00:31:04,743 Very well, you know this may be 671 00:31:04,745 --> 00:31:06,945 some kind of a desperate attempt 672 00:31:06,947 --> 00:31:09,382 to get a closer look at your underwear, 673 00:31:09,384 --> 00:31:12,819 by some kind of a pervert or something. 674 00:31:12,821 --> 00:31:16,021 I think that's the kind of thing perverts are into. 675 00:31:16,023 --> 00:31:19,959 Yes, perverts, I think we've made that clear. 676 00:31:19,961 --> 00:31:22,595 Bailey has a stalker. 677 00:31:22,597 --> 00:31:24,830 Can't you dust for fingerprints or something? 678 00:31:24,832 --> 00:31:26,132 Anyone ever tell you to smile more? 679 00:31:26,134 --> 00:31:27,366 Smile? 680 00:31:27,368 --> 00:31:28,501 Our apartment just got broken into, 681 00:31:28,503 --> 00:31:30,069 and you want me to smile? 682 00:31:30,071 --> 00:31:31,872 Well, I mean... 683 00:31:33,041 --> 00:31:34,973 Can't you dust for fingerprints? 684 00:31:34,975 --> 00:31:36,642 Fingerprints? 685 00:31:36,644 --> 00:31:40,749 Yes, um, I just need my fingerprints kit from the car. 686 00:31:42,149 --> 00:31:44,450 You know, I would dust for fingerprints, 687 00:31:44,452 --> 00:31:45,818 I just don't think fingerprints 688 00:31:45,820 --> 00:31:48,186 are gonna show up on underwear. 689 00:31:48,188 --> 00:31:50,123 You know, I'm actually kinda new to this part. 690 00:31:50,125 --> 00:31:51,357 This is actually my first case. 691 00:31:51,359 --> 00:31:53,225 First case? 692 00:31:53,227 --> 00:31:56,596 Yeah well, I had a desk job before, kind of. 693 00:31:56,598 --> 00:31:59,598 But, I never dusted underwear 694 00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:02,234 or anything else, for fingerprints. 695 00:32:02,236 --> 00:32:04,872 I don't want dust all over my underwear anyway, so. 696 00:32:07,509 --> 00:32:10,242 Look, you say you're in college? 697 00:32:10,244 --> 00:32:12,411 Right, I'm gonna chalk this one up to 698 00:32:12,413 --> 00:32:15,248 a stupid prank among college students. 699 00:32:15,250 --> 00:32:17,215 Somebody broke into our apartment, 700 00:32:17,217 --> 00:32:18,684 this is your first case... 701 00:32:18,686 --> 00:32:20,252 Yeah, yeah, look, was there any sign of forced entry? 702 00:32:20,254 --> 00:32:21,087 No, but... 703 00:32:21,089 --> 00:32:22,355 Was anything stolen? 704 00:32:22,357 --> 00:32:24,357 No, all my sexy underwear is here. 705 00:32:24,359 --> 00:32:29,364 Alright, take my card, it's got my direct line. 706 00:32:30,231 --> 00:32:31,463 You notice anything missing, 707 00:32:31,465 --> 00:32:33,933 anything else out of the ordinary happens, 708 00:32:33,935 --> 00:32:36,702 don't hesitate to call me, don't wait. 709 00:32:36,704 --> 00:32:38,406 For now, there's nothing I can do. 710 00:32:39,808 --> 00:32:43,475 Do you want me to take your underwear into evidence? 711 00:32:43,477 --> 00:32:45,677 No, I'll hold onto that, thank you though. 712 00:32:45,679 --> 00:32:47,180 Yeah, what if she wants to run 713 00:32:47,182 --> 00:32:48,446 for President some day or something? 714 00:32:48,448 --> 00:32:49,816 Emma, this country is never gonna let 715 00:32:49,818 --> 00:32:52,052 a woman even mention underwear, be President. 716 00:32:53,353 --> 00:32:55,954 Look, I'm sorry I couldn't do more. 717 00:32:55,956 --> 00:32:57,690 It's okay, don't worry about it. 718 00:32:57,692 --> 00:33:00,158 Yeah, thanks for coming by. 719 00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:03,495 No problem, look, you girls stay safe, okay? 720 00:33:03,497 --> 00:33:05,463 Make sure to look that door and do something 721 00:33:05,465 --> 00:33:08,367 you like to keep your mind off of this. 722 00:33:08,369 --> 00:33:10,237 Laughter is really the best medicine. 723 00:33:21,182 --> 00:33:24,916 We're not sick! 724 00:33:24,918 --> 00:33:26,051 The following flash has been 725 00:33:26,053 --> 00:33:28,553 brought to you by toot strudels, 726 00:33:28,555 --> 00:33:31,156 the official toaster pastry of str33ker. 727 00:33:31,158 --> 00:33:34,159 There's froot in every toot. 728 00:33:34,161 --> 00:33:35,627 Froot contains no flavors, colors, pulp, 729 00:33:35,629 --> 00:33:37,530 or other natural derivatives of fruits or vegetables. 730 00:33:37,532 --> 00:33:38,630 Hey guys, you're watching Brayden's 731 00:33:38,632 --> 00:33:41,733 str33ker workout video, oh yeah! 732 00:33:41,735 --> 00:33:42,702 (FUN MUSIC) 733 00:33:42,704 --> 00:33:44,002 ♪ Hey hey hey hey skinny ♪ 734 00:33:44,004 --> 00:33:45,605 ♪ Hey hey bag of bones ♪ 735 00:33:45,607 --> 00:33:47,740 ♪ Hey hey hey hey skinny ♪ 736 00:33:47,742 --> 00:33:50,342 ♪ Your ribs are showing just go home ♪ 737 00:33:50,344 --> 00:33:52,011 ♪ Hey hey hey hey skinny ♪ 738 00:33:52,013 --> 00:33:54,246 ♪ Hey hey bag of bones ♪ 739 00:33:54,248 --> 00:33:56,581 ♪ Hey hey hey hey skinny ♪ 740 00:33:56,583 --> 00:33:58,552 ♪ Your ribs are showing just go home ♪ 741 00:33:59,052 --> 00:34:01,087 Oh yeah! 742 00:34:01,089 --> 00:34:05,926 (ELECTRONIC MUSIC) 743 00:34:38,092 --> 00:34:42,263 (DOOR SCREECHES) 744 00:34:54,174 --> 00:34:59,179 Emma, Emma, Emma, 745 00:35:00,581 --> 00:35:05,284 Emma, Emma! 746 00:35:05,286 --> 00:35:06,485 What is it? 747 00:35:06,487 --> 00:35:08,286 Can you sleep with me tonight, I'm scared. 748 00:35:08,288 --> 00:35:12,192 (SIGHS) Fine. 749 00:35:29,444 --> 00:35:31,811 What the? 750 00:35:31,813 --> 00:35:34,315 Emma, are you dreaming again? 751 00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:41,555 What? 752 00:35:58,572 --> 00:36:02,909 (MANIACAL LAUGH) 753 00:36:25,632 --> 00:36:29,736 (LAUGHS) 754 00:36:30,837 --> 00:36:35,243 (CRYING) 755 00:36:40,348 --> 00:36:45,116 (LAUGHING) 756 00:36:45,118 --> 00:36:49,389 (CRYING) 757 00:36:52,860 --> 00:36:55,096 (LAUGHING) 758 00:37:04,038 --> 00:37:06,107 (CRYING) 759 00:37:15,583 --> 00:37:20,088 (LAUGHING) 760 00:38:22,250 --> 00:38:26,253 I'm thirsty, I'm gonna get something to drink. 761 00:39:12,799 --> 00:39:17,638 (EMMA SCREAMS) 762 00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:20,905 So let me get this straight. 763 00:39:20,907 --> 00:39:22,608 The man came back and attacked you? 764 00:39:22,610 --> 00:39:25,076 You watched the video. 765 00:39:25,078 --> 00:39:27,212 Yeah, well, I'm not totally sure what I saw, 766 00:39:27,214 --> 00:39:29,047 it's kinda dark, but uh, 767 00:39:29,049 --> 00:39:32,016 he didn't hurt you, and instead ran off? 768 00:39:32,018 --> 00:39:34,152 Well, yeah, yeah. 769 00:39:34,154 --> 00:39:35,055 And you're okay? 770 00:39:36,190 --> 00:39:38,389 Not emotionally, but... 771 00:39:38,391 --> 00:39:40,194 Nothing's been stolen? 772 00:39:41,362 --> 00:39:44,829 No, but officer, he tried to grab me. 773 00:39:44,831 --> 00:39:49,567 Fine, fine, look the best I can offer is, 774 00:39:49,569 --> 00:39:51,369 I'll station myself outside the building, 775 00:39:51,371 --> 00:39:53,074 and I'll keep an eye on the place. 776 00:39:55,342 --> 00:39:57,610 I'm calling someone else! 777 00:39:57,612 --> 00:40:01,012 Officer could you just give us like, one minute please? 778 00:40:01,014 --> 00:40:03,882 Sure, but don't call someone else, 779 00:40:03,884 --> 00:40:05,253 I'm the guy, okay? 780 00:40:07,788 --> 00:40:11,690 Um, would you mind just like, stepping out for a second? 781 00:40:11,692 --> 00:40:13,494 Right, yeah. 782 00:40:14,962 --> 00:40:16,161 Look, I know he's a little weird. 783 00:40:16,163 --> 00:40:17,630 A little weird?! 784 00:40:17,632 --> 00:40:18,566 Shh, Emma, shh. 785 00:40:19,699 --> 00:40:20,632 A little weird? 786 00:40:20,634 --> 00:40:22,601 He has no idea what he's doing. 787 00:40:22,603 --> 00:40:23,835 Okay, but didn't he say it was 788 00:40:23,837 --> 00:40:25,971 like his first case or something? 789 00:40:25,973 --> 00:40:27,172 I'm right here if you need me. 790 00:40:27,174 --> 00:40:28,940 Yep, just one more minute, please. 791 00:40:28,942 --> 00:40:30,977 Yep, yep, yep, good, thanks. 792 00:40:32,045 --> 00:40:33,512 See? 793 00:40:33,514 --> 00:40:35,583 Okay, but it's his first case, we can't get him fired. 794 00:40:36,884 --> 00:40:38,250 I'm a little bit more concerned 795 00:40:38,252 --> 00:40:39,652 about one of us ending up dead, 796 00:40:39,654 --> 00:40:40,819 than him getting fired. 797 00:40:40,821 --> 00:40:43,655 Emma, relax, alright? 798 00:40:43,657 --> 00:40:45,958 Besides, that flash of you almost getting kidnapped, 799 00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:48,626 has 20 million views and a perfect bolt score. 800 00:40:48,628 --> 00:40:49,895 What! 801 00:40:49,897 --> 00:40:52,667 You're so popular, Emma, like so popular. 802 00:40:54,335 --> 00:40:56,802 What the hell is wrong with you? 803 00:40:56,804 --> 00:40:59,404 You're almost as popular as I am. 804 00:40:59,406 --> 00:41:03,041 Great, just great. 805 00:41:03,043 --> 00:41:04,842 Just give him one more chance. 806 00:41:04,844 --> 00:41:06,078 One more, please? 807 00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:06,980 Fine! 808 00:41:08,181 --> 00:41:10,882 But I am not happy about this. 809 00:41:10,884 --> 00:41:13,486 Guys, I'm uh, still right here. 810 00:41:15,022 --> 00:41:17,056 Officer, thank you so much, 811 00:41:17,058 --> 00:41:19,190 we really, really appreciate this. 812 00:41:19,192 --> 00:41:20,726 Don't mention it. 813 00:41:20,728 --> 00:41:23,862 Look, I'll just be right out here in the unmarked white van, 814 00:41:23,864 --> 00:41:26,197 so just call if you need me, and I'll come running right up. 815 00:41:26,199 --> 00:41:28,032 Got hearing like an elephant. 816 00:41:28,034 --> 00:41:30,902 Aren't elephants more known for their memory? 817 00:41:30,904 --> 00:41:32,170 What'd you say? 818 00:41:32,172 --> 00:41:33,006 Never mind. 819 00:41:36,944 --> 00:41:39,480 That guy is a complete loon. 820 00:41:40,581 --> 00:41:44,752 Our lives are in his hands. 821 00:41:45,618 --> 00:41:47,820 Great, just great. 822 00:41:47,822 --> 00:41:49,688 Come on, I want to go buy some pretzels. 823 00:41:49,690 --> 00:41:50,521 Now? 824 00:41:50,523 --> 00:41:51,757 Yeah, I'm hungry. 825 00:41:51,759 --> 00:41:54,293 Fine, I'll get us some knives too. 826 00:41:54,295 --> 00:41:56,094 Why not guns? 827 00:41:56,096 --> 00:41:58,364 I would never shoot anyone. 828 00:41:58,366 --> 00:42:00,167 But you would stab them? 829 00:42:02,036 --> 00:42:03,601 Well, no. 830 00:42:03,603 --> 00:42:05,904 What if someone were hurting you? 831 00:42:05,906 --> 00:42:09,907 I'd ask them politely to stop until they stopped. 832 00:42:09,909 --> 00:42:12,043 And you think that would work? 833 00:42:12,045 --> 00:42:13,277 Sure. 834 00:42:13,279 --> 00:42:14,346 - Because you're cute. - Because I'm cute. 835 00:42:14,348 --> 00:42:15,547 Oh my... 836 00:42:15,549 --> 00:42:16,815 And what if someone were hurting me? 837 00:42:16,817 --> 00:42:18,550 I'd ask them politely to... 838 00:42:18,552 --> 00:42:19,684 Keep going? 839 00:42:19,686 --> 00:42:20,953 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 840 00:42:20,955 --> 00:42:22,353 Probably, yeah. 841 00:42:22,355 --> 00:42:23,454 Cute. 842 00:42:23,456 --> 00:42:25,157 I am cute. 843 00:42:25,159 --> 00:42:26,991 Remember that one time you couldn't even kill 844 00:42:26,993 --> 00:42:28,761 that mouse that was caught in a trap. 845 00:42:28,763 --> 00:42:31,396 I couldn't kill it, it was so cute. 846 00:42:31,398 --> 00:42:34,532 It was suffering, you just want to let it die slowly? 847 00:42:34,534 --> 00:42:36,869 I told you, I cannot kill a living thing. 848 00:42:36,871 --> 00:42:38,103 Oh my god. 849 00:42:38,105 --> 00:42:39,404 I couldn't then, and I can't now. 850 00:42:39,406 --> 00:42:42,608 (SQUISHING SOUND) 851 00:42:42,610 --> 00:42:46,147 How To Eat Like A Lady With Mrs. Wilson. 852 00:42:47,614 --> 00:42:51,217 Here it comes, mmm, 853 00:42:53,186 --> 00:42:54,087 yum, mmhmm. 854 00:42:55,656 --> 00:42:58,692 Mm mm mm so good mmhmm, 855 00:43:00,460 --> 00:43:02,027 that's it. 856 00:43:02,029 --> 00:43:03,397 Great job, mmhmm. 857 00:43:04,931 --> 00:43:09,235 This has been How To Eat Like A Lady With Mrs. Wilson. 858 00:43:10,337 --> 00:43:11,172 That's me! 859 00:43:25,685 --> 00:43:27,453 I'm really worried. 860 00:43:27,455 --> 00:43:30,221 You've been really worried for the past 21 years. 861 00:43:30,223 --> 00:43:31,956 I'm only 20. 862 00:43:31,958 --> 00:43:33,592 Yeah, you were worried in the womb. 863 00:43:33,594 --> 00:43:35,092 You were conceived and you started worrying 864 00:43:35,094 --> 00:43:37,029 before you even divided into two cells. 865 00:43:37,031 --> 00:43:38,663 Very funny. 866 00:43:38,665 --> 00:43:41,032 It's not a joke, your first cell 867 00:43:41,034 --> 00:43:42,500 was probably an adrenal cell, 868 00:43:42,502 --> 00:43:46,003 and then you started producing cortisol before mitosis. 869 00:43:46,005 --> 00:43:49,174 I thought you didn't study for biology class. 870 00:43:49,176 --> 00:43:50,641 Kinky people. 871 00:43:50,643 --> 00:43:52,744 It's not related to cortisol. 872 00:43:52,746 --> 00:43:55,648 I know, but it seems to get you really stressed out, so. 873 00:43:57,351 --> 00:44:00,384 At least we have our new doppelgänger knives now. 874 00:44:00,386 --> 00:44:01,920 So, which one of us is evil, then? 875 00:44:01,922 --> 00:44:03,422 Huh? 876 00:44:03,424 --> 00:44:06,291 A doppelgänger means an evil mirror image of a person, 877 00:44:06,293 --> 00:44:08,659 so, one of us has to be evil. 878 00:44:08,661 --> 00:44:10,829 I mean, I guess it has to be me, because. 879 00:44:10,831 --> 00:44:12,833 I think I'm the evil one. 880 00:44:13,868 --> 00:44:16,168 You, Miss Goody-two-shoes? 881 00:44:16,170 --> 00:44:17,369 Evil? 882 00:44:17,371 --> 00:44:18,839 You don't know what's in my heart. 883 00:44:20,040 --> 00:44:21,639 I'm sure a heart full of darkness, 884 00:44:21,641 --> 00:44:25,444 just waiting to show me your true self at any moment. 885 00:44:25,446 --> 00:44:27,311 Yeah, yeah, whatever. 886 00:44:27,313 --> 00:44:29,884 Really though, you drive me crazy. 887 00:44:31,217 --> 00:44:33,018 You are one of the smartest people I know and... 888 00:44:33,020 --> 00:44:34,619 What? 889 00:44:34,621 --> 00:44:36,221 Well, you don't care. 890 00:44:36,223 --> 00:44:37,188 Why should I care? 891 00:44:37,190 --> 00:44:38,924 No one cares if I'm smart, 892 00:44:38,926 --> 00:44:41,058 all they care about is if I'm making funny faces 893 00:44:41,060 --> 00:44:42,895 while I'm interviewing Hollywood's weirdest, 894 00:44:42,897 --> 00:44:45,998 or if I'm making a makeup tutorial or something. 895 00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:47,232 Doesn't that bother you? 896 00:44:47,234 --> 00:44:50,168 No, that's your problem, Emma. 897 00:44:50,170 --> 00:44:51,904 You think too small, 898 00:44:51,906 --> 00:44:53,971 you think that you need to follow the rules. 899 00:44:53,973 --> 00:44:55,607 You think that there even are rules, 900 00:44:55,609 --> 00:44:58,543 and no one cares about rules, only you. 901 00:44:58,545 --> 00:45:02,146 Fine, I guess I'll loosen up a little bit then. 902 00:45:02,148 --> 00:45:03,348 Now we're talking. 903 00:45:03,350 --> 00:45:05,219 Here, have a pretzel. 904 00:45:08,656 --> 00:45:09,587 Good, right? 905 00:45:09,589 --> 00:45:10,723 Mm yeah, it's pretty good. 906 00:45:11,891 --> 00:45:14,125 Maybe we should go to class now. 907 00:45:14,127 --> 00:45:15,860 Dressed like this? 908 00:45:15,862 --> 00:45:18,264 No one cares, and we're dissecting people today. 909 00:45:19,299 --> 00:45:20,732 Oooo. 910 00:45:20,734 --> 00:45:24,505 Once the blood is drained from the cadaver, 911 00:45:27,273 --> 00:45:31,712 and is preserved with embalming fluid, 912 00:45:36,150 --> 00:45:39,552 the body remains completely flexible 913 00:45:40,621 --> 00:45:42,954 and intact. 914 00:45:42,956 --> 00:45:45,857 Smells a little like vinegar, doesn't it? (CHUCKLES) 915 00:45:45,859 --> 00:45:47,625 (SQUISHING SOUNDS) 916 00:45:47,627 --> 00:45:51,596 And ba bum bum! 917 00:45:51,598 --> 00:45:52,431 (EMMA RETCHES) 918 00:45:52,433 --> 00:45:53,599 The heart. 919 00:45:53,601 --> 00:45:54,435 Awesome. 920 00:46:02,109 --> 00:46:04,076 (EMMA COUGHS) 921 00:46:04,078 --> 00:46:07,112 (CHASE LAUGHS WEIRDLY) 922 00:46:07,114 --> 00:46:10,583 I guess Emma wanted to get a slightly closer look. 923 00:46:11,618 --> 00:46:12,619 Take five. 924 00:46:15,688 --> 00:46:20,694 Emma, Emma, Emma. 925 00:46:21,295 --> 00:46:21,960 Hi Bailey. 926 00:46:21,962 --> 00:46:23,395 Do you mind? 927 00:46:23,397 --> 00:46:24,998 Uh, I'm sorry. 928 00:46:26,333 --> 00:46:27,165 Ohh. 929 00:46:27,167 --> 00:46:28,333 You okay? 930 00:46:28,335 --> 00:46:29,400 What happened? 931 00:46:29,402 --> 00:46:31,335 Oof, long story, dude. 932 00:46:31,337 --> 00:46:32,570 No, I'm just kidding, 933 00:46:32,572 --> 00:46:33,505 it's actually not a long story at all. 934 00:46:33,507 --> 00:46:35,206 Uh, you fainted and fell face 935 00:46:35,208 --> 00:46:36,974 first into a dead person's abdomen. 936 00:46:36,976 --> 00:46:41,982 Ohh, I hate when that happens. (RETCHES) 937 00:46:42,850 --> 00:46:43,815 The following flash has been 938 00:46:43,817 --> 00:46:46,284 brought to you by toot strudels. 939 00:46:46,286 --> 00:46:48,887 The official toaster pastry of str33ker. 940 00:46:48,889 --> 00:46:51,822 There's froot in every toot. 941 00:46:51,824 --> 00:46:53,291 Froot contains no flavors, colors, pulp, 942 00:46:53,293 --> 00:46:54,659 or other natural derivatives of fruits or vegetables. 943 00:46:54,661 --> 00:46:56,728 (TUBA MUSIC) 944 00:46:56,730 --> 00:46:57,962 Hi! 945 00:46:57,964 --> 00:46:59,530 Do you ever wake up in the morning, think boy, 946 00:46:59,532 --> 00:47:02,166 I wish I could poop, but I can't. 947 00:47:02,168 --> 00:47:03,300 I drank a whole gallon of coffee 948 00:47:03,302 --> 00:47:04,703 and it's just not coming out. 949 00:47:04,705 --> 00:47:07,005 Not anymore with toot strudels. 950 00:47:07,007 --> 00:47:08,306 It'll make your bowels so soft, 951 00:47:08,308 --> 00:47:10,108 it'll just flow right out your butt, 952 00:47:10,110 --> 00:47:11,375 straight in the toilet. 953 00:47:11,377 --> 00:47:12,476 I don't even have to wait sometimes. 954 00:47:12,478 --> 00:47:13,712 Sometimes I'm rushing out there 955 00:47:13,714 --> 00:47:15,313 and I'm already turtling. 956 00:47:15,315 --> 00:47:17,849 Toots strudels, comes in new three flavors: 957 00:47:17,851 --> 00:47:21,219 strawberry, watermelon, and also cat flavor. 958 00:47:21,221 --> 00:47:24,489 Toot strudels, get it out while it's in there. 959 00:47:24,491 --> 00:47:25,956 ♪ Drop drop drop ♪ 960 00:47:25,958 --> 00:47:27,659 ♪ Hear the sound in the toilet ♪ 961 00:47:27,661 --> 00:47:31,329 ♪ Toot strudels will make you poop like a baby ♪ 962 00:47:31,331 --> 00:47:32,533 Toot strudels. 963 00:47:34,802 --> 00:47:39,573 (EERIE ELECTRONIC MUSIC) 964 00:48:08,268 --> 00:48:10,469 I think I'm gonna take a nap when I go inside. 965 00:48:10,471 --> 00:48:12,503 Yeah. 966 00:48:12,505 --> 00:48:13,938 Boo! 967 00:48:13,940 --> 00:48:14,973 Fucking Christ, Brayden, are you kidding me? 968 00:48:14,975 --> 00:48:16,273 I'm just messing with you. 969 00:48:16,275 --> 00:48:17,509 Thought you were into that kind of stuff 970 00:48:17,511 --> 00:48:18,677 now with your new horror channel. 971 00:48:18,679 --> 00:48:19,945 I got this new camera. 972 00:48:19,947 --> 00:48:21,645 That's not horror, Brayden, it's real. 973 00:48:21,647 --> 00:48:23,148 People are actually breaking into your place? 974 00:48:23,150 --> 00:48:25,616 C'mon, I'm not dumb enough to believe that. 975 00:48:25,618 --> 00:48:27,119 Thought we can go out sometime? 976 00:48:27,121 --> 00:48:29,755 Now you wanna go out, now that I'm back on a str33k? 977 00:48:29,757 --> 00:48:30,989 Well, yeah. 978 00:48:30,991 --> 00:48:34,726 Oh my god, thanks for the rose, by the way. 979 00:48:34,728 --> 00:48:36,230 See you later, Brayden. 980 00:48:59,920 --> 00:49:03,557 Wow, Brayden really likes to stomp on things. 981 00:49:04,792 --> 00:49:06,391 That makes me feel a little bit better 982 00:49:06,393 --> 00:49:08,362 about fainting into that dead body. 983 00:49:10,130 --> 00:49:13,100 That's the worst thing that could have ever happened. 984 00:49:14,601 --> 00:49:16,737 Talk about falling for someone heartless. 985 00:49:19,806 --> 00:49:20,640 Get it? 986 00:49:23,810 --> 00:49:25,976 I'm still worried. 987 00:49:25,978 --> 00:49:27,878 Don't be, Officer Dobson's right outside, 988 00:49:27,880 --> 00:49:29,346 and he has a gun. 989 00:49:29,348 --> 00:49:31,016 Does he have a gun, though? 990 00:49:31,018 --> 00:49:32,483 I didn't see one. 991 00:49:32,485 --> 00:49:35,353 I'm not even sure if he has a real badge. 992 00:49:35,355 --> 00:49:37,322 He didn't even notice Brayden coming up. 993 00:49:37,324 --> 00:49:39,157 Well, they probably gave them one 994 00:49:39,159 --> 00:49:40,558 of those plastic badges and no gun 995 00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:42,328 until after their first assignment. 996 00:49:43,730 --> 00:49:45,365 Anyway, I'm sure it's fine. 997 00:49:47,967 --> 00:49:50,367 Anyway, we should go to bed, dude. 998 00:49:50,369 --> 00:49:52,103 I'd say we have to do some flashes, 999 00:49:52,105 --> 00:49:53,971 but this one of you getting kidnapped 1000 00:49:53,973 --> 00:49:57,041 is str33king up the charts, what. 1001 00:49:57,043 --> 00:49:58,244 What about Laura? 1002 00:49:59,679 --> 00:50:04,215 Her first chemo flash is third after the kidnapping, 1003 00:50:04,217 --> 00:50:05,953 and the underwear toss, what? 1004 00:50:06,853 --> 00:50:09,721 The sexy underwear toss. 1005 00:50:09,723 --> 00:50:12,190 Yes, Emma, I taught you so well. 1006 00:50:12,192 --> 00:50:13,627 Alright, let's go to bed. 1007 00:50:15,696 --> 00:50:17,362 No prayers tonight? 1008 00:50:17,364 --> 00:50:19,965 Nah, I'm already feeling as confident 1009 00:50:19,967 --> 00:50:21,235 as a mediocre white man. 1010 00:50:23,203 --> 00:50:26,270 I wish I could be as confident as Dobson. 1011 00:50:26,272 --> 00:50:28,405 He's pretty damn mediocre. 1012 00:50:28,407 --> 00:50:29,409 He sure is. 1013 00:50:32,212 --> 00:50:34,414 I could solve this case as well as he can. 1014 00:50:35,449 --> 00:50:36,850 Well, I'm counting on you. 1015 00:50:37,717 --> 00:50:38,518 Great. 1016 00:50:40,152 --> 00:50:44,023 Well, I gotta go to bed, I'm totally frazzled. 1017 00:50:45,424 --> 00:50:46,225 Good night. 1018 00:50:48,027 --> 00:50:48,828 Good night. 1019 00:50:53,667 --> 00:50:56,867 (CREEPY VOICE) Being creepy sure brings out my hunger. 1020 00:50:56,869 --> 00:51:00,038 Crouching in the bushes all night making you peckish? 1021 00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:01,840 When I'm outside someone's window, 1022 00:51:01,842 --> 00:51:04,141 filming them without their consent, 1023 00:51:04,143 --> 00:51:05,744 I make sure they've got a box 1024 00:51:05,746 --> 00:51:07,878 of toot strudels ready in their kitchen. 1025 00:51:07,880 --> 00:51:11,049 When I need a break, I just force open their door, 1026 00:51:11,051 --> 00:51:13,985 tiptoe through the house and grab a snack. 1027 00:51:13,987 --> 00:51:16,387 Nothing like a self-heating toaster pastry 1028 00:51:16,389 --> 00:51:18,223 to give you energy to stay up 1029 00:51:18,225 --> 00:51:20,525 all night watching someone sleep. 1030 00:51:20,527 --> 00:51:23,695 With patented radioactive isotope technology, 1031 00:51:23,697 --> 00:51:25,529 they help me stay warm on chilly damp nights 1032 00:51:25,531 --> 00:51:28,032 when I'm lurking in the shadows. 1033 00:51:28,034 --> 00:51:29,867 Toot strudels, the favorite snack 1034 00:51:29,869 --> 00:51:31,737 food of night creepers everywhere. 1035 00:51:33,139 --> 00:51:37,076 Well, all's quiet here, time for a little meditation. 1036 00:51:49,221 --> 00:51:54,093 (NIGHTMARISH MUSIC) 1037 00:52:59,025 --> 00:53:03,663 (EMMA LAUGHING MANIACALLY) 1038 00:54:04,324 --> 00:54:08,494 (BREATHING HEAVY) 1039 00:56:21,795 --> 00:56:23,328 (BAILEY WHIMPERS) 1040 00:56:23,330 --> 00:56:28,335 STALKER: Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 1041 00:56:34,373 --> 00:56:36,107 I woke up and walked out of my room. 1042 00:56:36,109 --> 00:56:38,308 The whole house smelled like vinegar. 1043 00:56:38,310 --> 00:56:41,112 I figured maybe Bailey was cleaning or something, 1044 00:56:41,114 --> 00:56:42,813 but she was gone. 1045 00:56:42,815 --> 00:56:44,849 I thought maybe she went for a walk, 1046 00:56:44,851 --> 00:56:46,617 but then I received a text, 1047 00:56:46,619 --> 00:56:48,418 I ran out right away to get you. 1048 00:56:48,420 --> 00:56:49,820 Did you not hear anything? 1049 00:56:49,822 --> 00:56:51,723 Yeah, it turns out that my elephant hearing, 1050 00:56:51,725 --> 00:56:54,625 not quite so keen and fast when I'm asleep. 1051 00:56:54,627 --> 00:56:56,326 What the hell are we going to do? 1052 00:56:56,328 --> 00:56:58,563 I mean, did you try calling her? 1053 00:56:58,565 --> 00:57:00,030 Yes, of course. 1054 00:57:00,032 --> 00:57:01,532 And? 1055 00:57:01,534 --> 00:57:04,067 No answer, look, somebody broke into our apartment, 1056 00:57:04,069 --> 00:57:07,804 not once, but twice, it was not a prank! 1057 00:57:07,806 --> 00:57:09,806 You were supposed to be out there protecting us. 1058 00:57:09,808 --> 00:57:12,309 He attacked me and he kidnapped Bailey. 1059 00:57:12,311 --> 00:57:13,244 Aaahh! 1060 00:57:13,246 --> 00:57:15,313 Fucking do something about it! 1061 00:57:15,315 --> 00:57:18,215 Do you have any leads at all? 1062 00:57:18,217 --> 00:57:20,150 Aren't you the detective? 1063 00:57:20,152 --> 00:57:21,786 I suppose I am, I mean, 1064 00:57:21,788 --> 00:57:24,389 that's what it says on my badge, anyway. 1065 00:57:24,391 --> 00:57:26,056 You know, I can't place it, 1066 00:57:26,058 --> 00:57:27,858 but you really remind me of someone. 1067 00:57:27,860 --> 00:57:30,460 (SIGHS) I look like a lot of people, okay? 1068 00:57:30,462 --> 00:57:33,132 Any leads, anything? 1069 00:57:35,034 --> 00:57:37,837 I mean, Bailey had a lot of fans, 1070 00:57:39,005 --> 00:57:40,773 I don't think she had any enemies. 1071 00:57:42,208 --> 00:57:45,476 Come to think of it, she did have a lot of enemies. 1072 00:57:45,478 --> 00:57:47,045 Like who? 1073 00:57:47,047 --> 00:57:51,449 That Chase guy, Brayden, our professor, 1074 00:57:51,451 --> 00:57:54,518 just about everyone loves and hates Bailey. 1075 00:57:54,520 --> 00:57:56,119 It's her thing, I guess. 1076 00:57:56,121 --> 00:57:57,424 What about you? 1077 00:57:59,491 --> 00:58:02,326 Nobody notices or cares about me, really. 1078 00:58:02,328 --> 00:58:07,130 No, no, no, I mean, don't you love and hate Bailey? 1079 00:58:07,132 --> 00:58:09,800 How do I know you're not a suspect? 1080 00:58:09,802 --> 00:58:10,603 Really? 1081 00:58:12,205 --> 00:58:14,973 Yeah, I guess we can go ahead and cross you off the list. 1082 00:58:15,808 --> 00:58:16,810 What about you? 1083 00:58:17,911 --> 00:58:18,842 Me? 1084 00:58:18,844 --> 00:58:19,678 Sure. 1085 00:58:21,614 --> 00:58:23,983 We can go ahead and cross me off the list too. 1086 00:58:25,451 --> 00:58:28,119 Great, just about eight billion more people to go, 1087 00:58:28,121 --> 00:58:29,454 until we find the kidnapper. 1088 00:58:29,456 --> 00:58:30,355 Or killer. 1089 00:58:30,357 --> 00:58:31,621 What? 1090 00:58:31,623 --> 00:58:33,090 I mean, we just don't know, she could be dead. 1091 00:58:33,092 --> 00:58:36,059 What the hell kind of detective school did you go to? 1092 00:58:36,061 --> 00:58:37,261 You don't just tell people that 1093 00:58:37,263 --> 00:58:38,962 their missing friends might be dead. 1094 00:58:38,964 --> 00:58:40,630 Yeah, I guess I missed that day in class. 1095 00:58:40,632 --> 00:58:42,000 Yeah, apparently. 1096 00:58:43,235 --> 00:58:46,003 This whole apartment smells like vinegar. 1097 00:58:46,005 --> 00:58:49,574 Vinegar, you sure it's not just chloroform? 1098 00:58:49,576 --> 00:58:51,442 Well, what does chloroform smell like? 1099 00:58:51,444 --> 00:58:54,612 It, uh, smells exactly like vinegar, yeah. 1100 00:58:54,614 --> 00:58:56,813 Well then, there you have it. 1101 00:58:56,815 --> 00:58:58,648 ( OFFICER SIGHS) 1102 00:58:58,650 --> 00:59:00,986 Hey, could I see your notebook? 1103 00:59:03,123 --> 00:59:05,525 Um, sure. 1104 00:59:11,063 --> 00:59:12,896 Yup, well, I'm gonna have to get going, 1105 00:59:12,898 --> 00:59:14,699 gotta get back on the case. 1106 00:59:14,701 --> 00:59:15,766 You should be okay, you know, 1107 00:59:15,768 --> 00:59:17,101 since nobody really notices you 1108 00:59:17,103 --> 00:59:18,405 or cares about you at all. 1109 00:59:19,406 --> 00:59:21,471 Thanks, I guess. 1110 00:59:21,473 --> 00:59:24,676 Just please promise me that you'll find Bailey. 1111 00:59:25,844 --> 00:59:28,311 I know that she's an idiot sometimes, 1112 00:59:28,313 --> 00:59:32,849 but she's really my only friend. 1113 00:59:32,851 --> 00:59:35,487 (SNICKERS) Yeah, I promise I'll do my best. 1114 00:59:41,326 --> 00:59:45,898 It just doesn't add up, I didn't hear anything. 1115 00:59:47,266 --> 00:59:49,335 Officer Dobson didn't hear anything. 1116 00:59:54,373 --> 00:59:56,842 What does chloroform smell like? 1117 00:59:57,710 --> 01:00:01,548 (CHASE LAUGHS) 1118 01:00:08,587 --> 01:00:09,520 Aaaahh! 1119 01:00:09,522 --> 01:00:11,188 Whoa, easy there, relax! 1120 01:00:11,190 --> 01:00:13,357 What have you done with Bailey?! 1121 01:00:13,359 --> 01:00:14,592 What? 1122 01:00:14,594 --> 01:00:15,826 Nothing, I just came to help her study. 1123 01:00:15,828 --> 01:00:16,960 Dr. Vargas wanted me to tutor her. 1124 01:00:16,962 --> 01:00:18,929 Then why are you breaking in? 1125 01:00:18,931 --> 01:00:20,030 Breaking in? 1126 01:00:20,032 --> 01:00:21,364 I knocked and no one answered, 1127 01:00:21,366 --> 01:00:22,632 and I saw the door was open, 1128 01:00:22,634 --> 01:00:24,101 so I figured I'd see if anyone was home. 1129 01:00:24,103 --> 01:00:27,440 (BREATHING HEAVILY) a little bit creepy, no? 1130 01:00:29,107 --> 01:00:31,208 Yeah, I guess you're right, sorry, 1131 01:00:31,210 --> 01:00:33,945 I'm just not too used to being around people. 1132 01:00:33,947 --> 01:00:35,413 Uh, do you think maybe you could, 1133 01:00:35,415 --> 01:00:36,715 like, put that thing down? 1134 01:00:37,951 --> 01:00:40,985 I guess so, but one false move and... 1135 01:00:40,987 --> 01:00:42,820 Okay, okay, okay, okay. 1136 01:00:42,822 --> 01:00:44,791 Alright, I just came over to see Bailey. 1137 01:00:45,757 --> 01:00:47,326 She's not here. 1138 01:00:48,795 --> 01:00:51,094 Well, can you let her know I stopped by or something? 1139 01:00:51,096 --> 01:00:52,929 I can't. 1140 01:00:52,931 --> 01:00:54,364 Why? 1141 01:00:54,366 --> 01:00:57,336 Because she's been kidnapped or murdered or worse. 1142 01:01:01,074 --> 01:01:05,744 (HEAVY BREATHING) 1143 01:01:24,630 --> 01:01:26,866 Oh my goodness, you're awake. 1144 01:01:28,333 --> 01:01:30,534 You have no idea how long I've waited for this day, 1145 01:01:30,536 --> 01:01:32,504 now it's finally here. 1146 01:01:33,940 --> 01:01:36,773 You know, I've followed your work for sometime, Bailey. 1147 01:01:36,775 --> 01:01:38,275 From the beginning, really. 1148 01:01:38,277 --> 01:01:41,512 And I just knew if I could get you alone in a room with me, 1149 01:01:41,514 --> 01:01:43,316 we'd be best friends. 1150 01:01:44,516 --> 01:01:48,518 But here we are finally together, 1151 01:01:48,520 --> 01:01:50,654 just the two of us. 1152 01:01:50,656 --> 01:01:52,723 I can feel the love in the room already, can't you? 1153 01:01:52,725 --> 01:01:55,692 (BAILEY SCREAMS) 1154 01:01:55,694 --> 01:01:58,397 Oh that's right, that's right, you can't talk. 1155 01:01:59,898 --> 01:02:02,465 Well, I'm awful sorry about the accommodations, you see, 1156 01:02:02,467 --> 01:02:04,902 my neighbors complain about the loud music, 1157 01:02:04,904 --> 01:02:07,871 who knows how they would feel if they heard you screaming 1158 01:02:07,873 --> 01:02:10,107 down here, you get it right?! 1159 01:02:10,109 --> 01:02:12,143 Right?! 1160 01:02:12,145 --> 01:02:15,079 (BAILEY SCREAMING) 1161 01:02:15,081 --> 01:02:20,086 Help me, help me! (SCREAMS) 1162 01:02:26,159 --> 01:02:30,293 No, no, no, that's a very, very bad girl. 1163 01:02:30,295 --> 01:02:32,598 We're supposed to have fun together, remember? 1164 01:02:34,400 --> 01:02:36,634 I've worked very hard to get you here, 1165 01:02:36,636 --> 01:02:38,335 this is like a dream come true for me, 1166 01:02:38,337 --> 01:02:40,637 but if we can't have fun together, 1167 01:02:40,639 --> 01:02:43,109 well, there really is no use for you, understand? 1168 01:02:44,177 --> 01:02:45,078 Understand? 1169 01:02:46,679 --> 01:02:49,215 Great, then let's try this again. 1170 01:02:50,516 --> 01:02:52,382 What do you want from me? 1171 01:02:52,384 --> 01:02:54,851 I thought I made that perfectly clear. 1172 01:02:54,853 --> 01:02:57,054 I want you to be my friend, 1173 01:02:57,056 --> 01:02:58,521 and we're gonna hang out and make 1174 01:02:58,523 --> 01:03:00,525 flashes for everyone out there. 1175 01:03:02,094 --> 01:03:03,561 Flashes? 1176 01:03:03,563 --> 01:03:06,630 Yeah, someone has gotta continue your str33k. 1177 01:03:06,632 --> 01:03:09,400 Like I said, I'm a huge, longtime fan, 1178 01:03:09,402 --> 01:03:10,668 and I just always wanted to be in 1179 01:03:10,670 --> 01:03:13,039 the flashes together with you as a team. 1180 01:03:15,440 --> 01:03:18,009 If I make flashes with you, you'll let me go? 1181 01:03:18,011 --> 01:03:20,610 We'll see, we'll see, but look, 1182 01:03:20,612 --> 01:03:23,413 I've taken the liberty of typing up a script for you. 1183 01:03:23,415 --> 01:03:26,416 Now, I know normally you improvise your flashes, 1184 01:03:26,418 --> 01:03:28,152 but I really think it's better 1185 01:03:28,154 --> 01:03:29,853 if we work from a script to start. 1186 01:03:29,855 --> 01:03:32,155 You see, I've got this perfect idea 1187 01:03:32,157 --> 01:03:34,190 in my mind of how it's supposed to go, 1188 01:03:34,192 --> 01:03:36,860 and if it doesn't go just perfectly, 1189 01:03:36,862 --> 01:03:38,829 I may have to make some cuts. 1190 01:03:38,831 --> 01:03:40,630 (BAILEY SCREAMS) 1191 01:03:40,632 --> 01:03:44,601 (STALKER LAUGHS MANIACALLY) 1192 01:03:44,603 --> 01:03:49,609 Help me, help me! Help! (SCREAMS) 1193 01:03:51,911 --> 01:03:54,047 Well, at least she isn't dead. 1194 01:03:55,547 --> 01:03:56,880 (BAILEY SCREAMS) 1195 01:03:56,882 --> 01:03:58,114 And this is the most viewed live 1196 01:03:58,116 --> 01:03:59,819 str33k in the history of str33ker. 1197 01:04:01,319 --> 01:04:03,088 I've gotta call Officer Dobson. 1198 01:04:05,290 --> 01:04:09,628 (LINE RINGING) 1199 01:04:10,630 --> 01:04:11,762 The following flash has been 1200 01:04:11,764 --> 01:04:14,230 brought to you by toot strudels, 1201 01:04:14,232 --> 01:04:16,833 the official toaster pastry of str33ker. 1202 01:04:16,835 --> 01:04:19,804 There's froot in every toot. 1203 01:04:19,806 --> 01:04:21,271 Froot contains no flavors, colors, pulp, 1204 01:04:21,273 --> 01:04:22,407 or other natural derivatives of fruits or vegetables. 1205 01:04:23,342 --> 01:04:25,275 (SOMBER MUSIC) 1206 01:04:25,277 --> 01:04:27,413 This will be my last flash ever. 1207 01:04:30,917 --> 01:04:33,018 I just wanna say thank you so much. 1208 01:04:36,322 --> 01:04:39,058 I'm told I only have hours left to live, 1209 01:04:41,893 --> 01:04:45,931 my heart's giving out and there's nothing anyone can do. 1210 01:04:49,701 --> 01:04:51,036 I wish you all the best. 1211 01:04:53,406 --> 01:04:58,311 I'm also hoping that Bailey gets rescued safely. 1212 01:05:00,846 --> 01:05:03,482 I'm rooting for you. (COUGHS) 1213 01:05:09,989 --> 01:05:11,855 The start of the greatest str33k in the history... 1214 01:05:11,857 --> 01:05:16,862 (PHONE RINGS) 1215 01:05:17,596 --> 01:05:19,197 Fucking telemarketers. 1216 01:05:21,067 --> 01:05:22,699 You should really sign up for the Do Not Call list. 1217 01:05:22,701 --> 01:05:23,535 Shut up! 1218 01:05:25,337 --> 01:05:26,737 You know, if you wanted to be in one of my flashes, 1219 01:05:26,739 --> 01:05:28,271 you could've just asked me. 1220 01:05:28,273 --> 01:05:31,175 No, no, no, no, no, you see, I tried that, 1221 01:05:31,177 --> 01:05:33,844 it's funny you should say that, because boy did I try. 1222 01:05:33,846 --> 01:05:35,179 I sent you a letter every week 1223 01:05:35,181 --> 01:05:36,447 telling you how much I loved you 1224 01:05:36,449 --> 01:05:38,681 and wanted to be in one of your flashes, 1225 01:05:38,683 --> 01:05:40,050 but I never got a reply. 1226 01:05:40,052 --> 01:05:41,518 I never got any... 1227 01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:43,954 Yeah, well, water under the bridge now, right? 1228 01:05:43,956 --> 01:05:46,623 We're here together now, that's all that matters. 1229 01:05:46,625 --> 01:05:50,661 And look, here's a rose to show you my love. 1230 01:05:50,663 --> 01:05:53,230 Ew freak, stop. 1231 01:05:53,232 --> 01:05:54,934 Hey, that's not very ladylike. 1232 01:05:57,435 --> 01:05:58,270 Fine. 1233 01:06:05,310 --> 01:06:08,679 Well, everybody, our time is just about up for today. 1234 01:06:08,681 --> 01:06:12,882 But we'll be back in just a few short hours tonight. 1235 01:06:12,884 --> 01:06:16,020 Be sure to tune in for the start of the grand finale, 1236 01:06:16,022 --> 01:06:17,721 the beginning of the greatest live 1237 01:06:17,723 --> 01:06:20,025 str33k in the history of str33king. 1238 01:06:25,031 --> 01:06:28,833 I don't know why he's not answering his phone. 1239 01:06:28,835 --> 01:06:31,201 (LINE RINGING) 1240 01:06:31,203 --> 01:06:32,203 RECORDING: You've reached the voicemail 1241 01:06:32,205 --> 01:06:34,137 of Detective Frank Dobson, yeah, 1242 01:06:34,139 --> 01:06:35,239 I can't come to the phone right now. 1243 01:06:35,241 --> 01:06:40,012 I'm calling 911, forget it. 1244 01:06:50,723 --> 01:06:52,625 Do you think we took this too far? 1245 01:06:53,926 --> 01:06:56,226 I, I, I don't know, I'm freaking out about this, 1246 01:06:56,228 --> 01:06:58,128 and Emma's really worried and I feel like 1247 01:06:58,130 --> 01:06:59,996 people think this is real or something. 1248 01:06:59,998 --> 01:07:01,532 Oh, well, I hope they think it's real, 1249 01:07:01,534 --> 01:07:02,702 it's been great so far. 1250 01:07:05,270 --> 01:07:07,237 I, I, I don't want to do this, 1251 01:07:07,239 --> 01:07:08,806 I'm gonna call Emma. 1252 01:07:08,808 --> 01:07:10,474 Don't you think she's gonna be angry? 1253 01:07:10,476 --> 01:07:12,009 No, it's Emma. 1254 01:07:12,011 --> 01:07:13,143 She'll be annoyed at first, 1255 01:07:13,145 --> 01:07:14,645 and she'll pretend not to care, 1256 01:07:14,647 --> 01:07:17,380 but she cares about being famous as much as I do. 1257 01:07:17,382 --> 01:07:19,983 And she won't tell anybody either, so don't worry. 1258 01:07:19,985 --> 01:07:21,951 Well, I guess she's gonna have to save you then. 1259 01:07:21,953 --> 01:07:23,522 Yeah, but she can pretend. 1260 01:07:24,991 --> 01:07:28,491 Listen Bailey, I mean it's been real up to this point, 1261 01:07:28,493 --> 01:07:31,262 but uh, I'm not just gonna throw this away. 1262 01:07:31,264 --> 01:07:34,697 We've come this far, I'm not just gonna walk away from it. 1263 01:07:34,699 --> 01:07:36,634 Well, I'm not going to do it. 1264 01:07:36,636 --> 01:07:37,902 Yes, you fucking are! 1265 01:07:37,904 --> 01:07:39,402 You fucking said you would, you're here, 1266 01:07:39,404 --> 01:07:41,038 we're here, we're doing it, okay?! 1267 01:07:41,040 --> 01:07:43,940 We're doing it! 1268 01:07:43,942 --> 01:07:47,511 Now just stop arguing with me, I'm tired of it. 1269 01:07:47,513 --> 01:07:49,045 We're going with the plan we agreed on. 1270 01:07:49,047 --> 01:07:50,782 Please I don't want to do it. 1271 01:07:54,819 --> 01:07:57,387 Just shut up about that. 1272 01:07:57,389 --> 01:07:58,922 I just need you to shut up, 1273 01:07:58,924 --> 01:08:01,324 it's the last time I'm gonna say it, okay? 1274 01:08:01,326 --> 01:08:04,994 Just shut up and let's finish it, okay? 1275 01:08:04,996 --> 01:08:05,829 What, what, what are you doing? 1276 01:08:05,831 --> 01:08:07,096 Stop. 1277 01:08:07,098 --> 01:08:08,301 What, why are you making it tighter? 1278 01:08:09,902 --> 01:08:14,907 Right, uh, I'm sorry, 1279 01:08:15,641 --> 01:08:16,142 look, I'm really sorry. 1280 01:08:17,243 --> 01:08:18,509 I just started freaking out when I thought 1281 01:08:18,511 --> 01:08:20,079 you were gonna back out all of a sudden. 1282 01:08:21,746 --> 01:08:23,012 It's okay, it's just I feel 1283 01:08:23,014 --> 01:08:24,148 like this is getting out of hand. 1284 01:08:24,150 --> 01:08:25,716 (PHONE RINGING) 1285 01:08:25,718 --> 01:08:28,521 (SIGHS) 1286 01:08:32,959 --> 01:08:34,524 Is that my real knife? 1287 01:08:34,526 --> 01:08:36,961 Yeah, I just grabbed it from your place. 1288 01:08:36,963 --> 01:08:38,162 Oh my god, I'm not gonna hurt you. 1289 01:08:38,164 --> 01:08:39,563 You don't need to freak out 1290 01:08:39,565 --> 01:08:41,064 or get all hysterical or anything. 1291 01:08:41,066 --> 01:08:42,599 My god, I just need it to look convincing. 1292 01:08:42,601 --> 01:08:43,833 Alright, please, please, please, 1293 01:08:43,835 --> 01:08:46,002 just please don't cut me with the knife, okay? 1294 01:08:46,004 --> 01:08:47,203 (STALKER LAUGHS) 1295 01:08:47,205 --> 01:08:48,604 Just put it away, please. 1296 01:08:48,606 --> 01:08:50,341 Yeah, you don't need to worry about it. 1297 01:08:50,343 --> 01:08:51,507 Okay, but... 1298 01:08:51,509 --> 01:08:53,111 Yeah, I have the reflexes of an elephant. 1299 01:09:04,522 --> 01:09:08,524 ♪ You say all you need is love ♪ 1300 01:09:08,526 --> 01:09:12,563 ♪ I think there's more than that ♪ 1301 01:09:12,565 --> 01:09:16,600 ♪ You say love is all you need ♪ 1302 01:09:16,602 --> 01:09:20,570 ♪ I still want more than that ♪ 1303 01:09:20,572 --> 01:09:24,640 ♪ You say we're free to go ♪ 1304 01:09:24,642 --> 01:09:28,545 ♪ This is the ultimate test ♪ 1305 01:09:28,547 --> 01:09:32,649 ♪ You say if we go we're free ♪ 1306 01:09:32,651 --> 01:09:36,519 ♪ Give it to me confess ♪ 1307 01:09:36,521 --> 01:09:37,755 (SQUISHING) 1308 01:09:37,757 --> 01:09:42,361 ♪ These bones are gonna walk around ♪ 1309 01:09:44,562 --> 01:09:48,900 ♪ These bones are gonna walk around ♪ 1310 01:10:00,646 --> 01:10:05,651 ♪ These bones are gonna walk around ♪ ♪ 1311 01:10:08,620 --> 01:10:11,356 ♪ You say 'til death do us part ♪ 1312 01:10:12,624 --> 01:10:15,026 ♪ I say it's gone in a blink ♪ 1313 01:10:15,895 --> 01:10:18,964 Toot strudels, awesome. 1314 01:10:21,299 --> 01:10:22,668 Where the hell is Dobson? 1315 01:10:24,837 --> 01:10:26,170 You've got to have seen the guy who did this, 1316 01:10:26,172 --> 01:10:27,306 at some point, right? 1317 01:10:28,441 --> 01:10:30,843 I don't know, I can't think of anyone. 1318 01:10:31,776 --> 01:10:32,842 I mean, I guess at this point, 1319 01:10:32,844 --> 01:10:34,944 it could be a lot of people. 1320 01:10:34,946 --> 01:10:37,581 I even thought you were a suspect. 1321 01:10:37,583 --> 01:10:40,553 Me? (LAUGHS WEIRDLY) 1322 01:10:42,721 --> 01:10:44,621 What's so funny? 1323 01:10:44,623 --> 01:10:46,924 That you thought I could be a kidnapper. 1324 01:10:46,926 --> 01:10:48,593 No, no, that's not what I meant. 1325 01:10:49,895 --> 01:10:54,667 What I meant was, what's so funny? 1326 01:10:57,069 --> 01:11:00,237 Sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about. 1327 01:11:00,239 --> 01:11:02,238 I think we need to watch the video. 1328 01:11:02,240 --> 01:11:03,074 Which video? 1329 01:11:04,509 --> 01:11:05,708 STALKER ON VIDEO: This is like a dream come true for me, 1330 01:11:05,710 --> 01:11:06,943 (BACKGROUND LAUGHTER) 1331 01:11:06,945 --> 01:11:08,211 but if we can't have fun together, 1332 01:11:08,213 --> 01:11:11,081 well there really is no use for you, understand? 1333 01:11:11,083 --> 01:11:11,951 Now laugh. 1334 01:11:13,919 --> 01:11:15,452 Ha ha. 1335 01:11:15,454 --> 01:11:16,953 For real. 1336 01:11:16,955 --> 01:11:18,788 Okay, why do people always tell other people to laugh or 1337 01:11:18,790 --> 01:11:19,756 smile? 1338 01:11:19,758 --> 01:11:22,326 Laugh. 1339 01:11:22,328 --> 01:11:25,194 (LAUGHS WEIRDLY) 1340 01:11:25,196 --> 01:11:26,863 STALKER: Can't have fun together, 1341 01:11:26,865 --> 01:11:28,364 well there really is no use for you. 1342 01:11:28,366 --> 01:11:29,600 (CHASE LAUGHS WEIRDLY) 1343 01:11:29,602 --> 01:11:30,766 (SKELETON LAUGHS) 1344 01:11:30,768 --> 01:11:31,570 EMMA IN FLASHBACK: What's so funny? 1345 01:11:33,172 --> 01:11:34,339 I know where Bailey is! 1346 01:11:48,154 --> 01:11:51,622 ♪ It's time to be brave ♪ 1347 01:11:51,624 --> 01:11:55,158 ♪ Do what it takes ♪ 1348 01:11:55,160 --> 01:11:58,295 ♪ Running straight towards the fire ♪ 1349 01:11:58,297 --> 01:12:01,331 ♪ While the others run away ♪ 1350 01:12:01,333 --> 01:12:04,801 ♪ It doesn't feel right ♪ 1351 01:12:04,803 --> 01:12:08,538 ♪ To turn a blind eye ♪ 1352 01:12:08,540 --> 01:12:13,545 ♪ When we know there's so much at stake ♪ 1353 01:12:16,080 --> 01:12:21,085 ♪ We could be the heroes tonight ♪ 1354 01:12:22,721 --> 01:12:27,726 ♪ We could be the heroes ♪ 1355 01:12:28,761 --> 01:12:32,028 ♪ If we stay if we rise ♪ 1356 01:12:32,030 --> 01:12:36,233 ♪ If we're fearless in the fight ♪ 1357 01:12:36,235 --> 01:12:41,240 ♪ We could be the heroes ♪ 1358 01:12:43,741 --> 01:12:47,077 ♪ There's dirt on our skin ♪ 1359 01:12:47,079 --> 01:12:51,180 ♪ There's chill in our bones ♪ 1360 01:12:51,182 --> 01:12:54,650 ♪ But we'll never grow tired ♪ 1361 01:12:54,652 --> 01:12:57,720 ♪ Of facing the riots ♪ 1362 01:12:57,722 --> 01:13:00,489 ♪ Battles will rage ♪ 1363 01:13:00,491 --> 01:13:04,760 ♪ A feeling so grave ♪ 1364 01:13:04,762 --> 01:13:08,098 ♪ It won't pull us under ♪ 1365 01:13:08,100 --> 01:13:11,667 ♪ When victory is our fate ♪ 1366 01:13:11,669 --> 01:13:16,674 ♪ We could be the heroes tonight ♪ 1367 01:13:18,410 --> 01:13:23,415 ♪ We could be the heroes ♪ 1368 01:13:24,616 --> 01:13:27,751 ♪ If we stay if we rise ♪ 1369 01:13:27,753 --> 01:13:31,954 ♪ If we're fearless in the fight ♪ 1370 01:13:31,956 --> 01:13:36,962 ♪ We could be the heroes ♪ 1371 01:13:40,065 --> 01:13:45,070 ♪ Ooooo ooooo oooooo ♪ 1372 01:13:46,938 --> 01:13:51,944 ♪ Ooooo ooooo ooooo ♪ 1373 01:13:53,512 --> 01:13:58,517 ♪ Ooooo ooooo ooooo ♪ 1374 01:14:00,486 --> 01:14:05,456 ♪ Ooooo ooooo ooooo ♪ 1375 01:14:06,659 --> 01:14:10,896 ♪ We could be the heroes tonight ♪ 1376 01:14:12,498 --> 01:14:17,503 ♪ We could be the heroes ♪ 1377 01:14:18,670 --> 01:14:21,837 ♪ If we stay if we rise ♪ 1378 01:14:21,839 --> 01:14:26,009 ♪ If we're fearless in the fight ♪ 1379 01:14:26,011 --> 01:14:31,016 ♪ We could be the heroes ♪ 1380 01:14:34,218 --> 01:14:39,223 ♪ Ooooo ooooo ooooo ♪ 1381 01:14:40,825 --> 01:14:45,830 ♪ Ooooo ooooo ooooo ♪ 1382 01:14:47,031 --> 01:14:51,369 ♪ We could be the heroes tonight ♪ 1383 01:14:52,971 --> 01:14:57,976 ♪ We could be the heroes ♪ 1384 01:14:58,944 --> 01:15:02,211 ♪ If we stay if we rise ♪ 1385 01:15:02,213 --> 01:15:06,483 ♪ If we're fearless in the fight ♪ 1386 01:15:06,485 --> 01:15:11,490 ♪ We could be the heroes ♪ 1387 01:15:14,560 --> 01:15:19,565 ♪ Ooooo ooooo ooooo ♪ 1388 01:15:30,709 --> 01:15:32,309 The preceding film has been brought 1389 01:15:32,311 --> 01:15:34,277 to you by toot strudels. 1390 01:15:34,279 --> 01:15:37,881 There's froot in every toot. 1391 01:15:37,883 --> 01:15:39,716 Froot contains no flavors, colors, pulp, 1392 01:15:39,718 --> 01:15:42,354 or other natural derivatives of fruits of vegetables. 1393 01:15:59,737 --> 01:16:03,774 ♪ Stay awhile ♪ 1394 01:16:03,776 --> 01:16:07,711 ♪ We can stay all night ♪ 1395 01:16:07,713 --> 01:16:11,581 ♪ Mile by mile ♪ 1396 01:16:11,583 --> 01:16:15,618 ♪ We can make it right ♪ 1397 01:16:15,620 --> 01:16:19,355 ♪ Put the car in drive ♪ 1398 01:16:19,357 --> 01:16:23,627 ♪ And don't stop 'til you see the light ♪ 1399 01:16:23,629 --> 01:16:27,564 ♪ Make it out while we're still alive ♪ 1400 01:16:27,566 --> 01:16:31,568 ♪ Wake up baby for the fight ♪ 1401 01:16:31,570 --> 01:16:35,538 ♪ You only like what you tear apart ♪ 1402 01:16:35,540 --> 01:16:39,576 ♪ You give up before you start ♪ 1403 01:16:39,578 --> 01:16:43,613 ♪ You can't break a broken heart ♪ 1404 01:16:43,615 --> 01:16:47,786 ♪ You can't break my broken heart ♪ 1405 01:16:59,597 --> 01:17:03,500 ♪ Save your smile ♪ 1406 01:17:03,502 --> 01:17:07,503 ♪ It won't help you now ♪ 1407 01:17:07,505 --> 01:17:11,475 ♪ Trial by trial ♪ 1408 01:17:11,477 --> 01:17:15,511 ♪ I will show you how ♪ 1409 01:17:15,513 --> 01:17:19,282 ♪ Put the car in drive ♪ 1410 01:17:19,284 --> 01:17:23,452 ♪ And don't stop 'til you free the night ♪ 1411 01:17:23,454 --> 01:17:27,390 ♪ Get out no one's left alive ♪ 1412 01:17:27,392 --> 01:17:31,461 ♪ Wake up baby it's time to fight ♪ 1413 01:17:31,463 --> 01:17:35,431 ♪ You only like what you tear apart ♪ 1414 01:17:35,433 --> 01:17:39,469 ♪ You give up before you start ♪ 1415 01:17:39,471 --> 01:17:43,405 ♪ You can't break a broken heart ♪ 1416 01:17:43,407 --> 01:17:48,413 ♪ You can't break my broken heart ♪ 1417 01:18:03,428 --> 01:18:07,329 ♪ You only like what you tear apart ♪ 1418 01:18:07,331 --> 01:18:11,333 ♪ You give up before you start ♪ 1419 01:18:11,335 --> 01:18:15,337 ♪ You can't break a broken heart ♪ 1420 01:18:15,339 --> 01:18:19,341 ♪ You can't break a broken heart ♪ 1421 01:18:19,343 --> 01:18:23,279 ♪ You only love what tears you apart ♪ 1422 01:18:23,281 --> 01:18:27,283 ♪ Don't give up before we start ♪ 1423 01:18:27,285 --> 01:18:31,320 ♪ You can't break a broken heart ♪ 1424 01:18:31,322 --> 01:18:35,292 ♪ You can't break a broken heart ♪ 1425 01:18:35,294 --> 01:18:39,229 ♪ You can't break my broken heart ♪ 1426 01:18:39,231 --> 01:18:43,332 ♪ You can't break my broken heart ♪ 1427 01:18:43,334 --> 01:18:47,202 ♪ You can't break my broken heart ♪ 1428 01:18:47,204 --> 01:18:52,209 ♪ You can't break my broken heart ♪ 1429 01:18:53,411 --> 01:18:57,247 ♪ Broken heart ♪ 1430 01:18:57,249 --> 01:19:01,150 ♪ Broken heart ♪ 1431 01:19:01,152 --> 01:19:05,824 ♪ Broken heart ♪ 1432 01:19:10,227 --> 01:19:14,229 Helllllo Emma nation, Emma world, Emma universe! 1433 01:19:14,231 --> 01:19:16,632 We've been number one for 13 weeks now, 1434 01:19:16,634 --> 01:19:18,835 and I would like to thank all of my fans 1435 01:19:18,837 --> 01:19:21,604 with a tour of Hollywood's Weirdest. 1436 01:19:21,606 --> 01:19:25,475 I would also like to thank my very tall roommate Bailey 1437 01:19:25,477 --> 01:19:27,579 for helping us film today. 1438 01:19:28,446 --> 01:19:31,780 Bailey is very, very serious. 1439 01:19:31,782 --> 01:19:36,788 But underneath that sour exterior is a very, very fun girl. 1440 01:19:38,222 --> 01:19:41,056 And I think when Bailey learns to smile and laugh, 1441 01:19:41,058 --> 01:19:44,527 she'll be having just as much fun as the rest of us! 1442 01:19:44,529 --> 01:19:45,628 (CHUCKLES) 1443 01:19:45,630 --> 01:19:48,366 Bailey, smile for the camera! 1444 01:19:48,851 --> 01:19:50,929 Subtitles by explosiveskull www.OpenSubtitles.org 102784