All language subtitles for Catch-22.S01E02.720p.HULU.WEB-DL.x264-MkvCage.ws

Woman: any bonds today

the bonds of freedom
that's what I'm selling

any bonds today

scrape up the most you can

here comes the freedom man

asking you to buy a share
of freedom today

any stamps today

we'll be blessed
if we all invest

in the u. S. A.

Here comes the freedom man

can't make tomorrow's plan

not unless you buy a share
of freedom today

Man: Whoo!

Woman: the tall man
with the high hat

and the whiskers
on his chin

will soon be knocking
at your door

- Who's major major?

Well, we need you for
the group leaders meeting.

We're allocating
the requisitions budget

for next quarter.
Let's go.

- I-- I'm sorry,
and my part in that is?

- All members of senior command
are automatically part

of the group leaders'
allocation and requisition

procedural advisory board.
Glarpab.

- Glarpab?

- For god's sakes,
we're late for the meeting.

- With all due respect,
sir, I'm a sergeant.

- You're a sergeant?
Major: Yes, sir.

I'm only a sergeant.

- But you're major major.
- Yes, sir.

That's my name, sir....

I've been through this
with the fellas, sir.

It's my birth name.
It's a funny story.

Um, but now may not
be the time.

So, yes, in short,
I'm sergeant major major.

Major major is my name.
Sergeant is my rank.

- He's already on the calendar
sheets right up to September.

- List--

good Christ, that means
he's also in the--

- yes, sir.

He's already down
for Wednesday's

subcommittee briefings, yes.

Cathcart: Sergeant.

Major-- sergeant-- whatever
your goddamn name is,

you're not making a whiff
of sense to me.

Major: Sir, like
I told the fellas,

well, my father was
something of a practical joker.

He named me major major.

First name major,
middle name major,

behind my mother's back,
on the birth certificate.

And my surname's major,
too, as you already know.

- Well, that is a hell
of a practical joke,

isn't it, son?

- He was a piece of work, sir.

- What are we gonna do?

We can't have a goddamn
sergeant in glarpab.

- That's correct, sir.
It's for senior command only.

Unless, sir, you promote him.

Cathcart: Sergeant major,
step forward.

Sergeant major,
congratulations.

I'm herby promoting
you to major.

Congratulations.
Get in.

Major: But, no, sir-- sir, i--
cathcart: You're a good man.

You've earned it.
You've worked hard.

- Yes, sir.
Um, d-does that mean--

what-- will my duties
be any different?

- Will his duties be any
different, colonel korn?

- Of course, sir. He's a major, sir.
- Of course there are. You're a major.

We don't just hand out
promotions Willy-nilly.

You'll act like a major, you'll perform
the duties of a major, god damn it.

- Yes, sir.
And-- and those are?

- Major major, congratulations.
You're a major.

Give him the goddamn thing.

- These are the minutes
from last allocations

and requisitions meeting
and the agenda for today.

Cathcart: Don't just stand
there!

- Get in the goddamn Jeep.

- Mary, and Joseph.

- Hey, fellas!

Okay.
These go inside.

You carry two at a time.
Like this.

Carry, carry.

Rapido, rapido!

Good lads.
Bueno, bueno.

Schulz: What's going on?

- You like watermelons?

- What is this?

- They didn't tell you?
- Tell me what?

- I am so sorry about that.

I'm the mess officer now.

What are you talking about?

Milo: I am
the mess officer now.

And, you're not.

- But this is what I do.
Milo: I know.

I tried to tell them that
myself; It's ridiculous.

What the hell do I know
about running a kitchen?

No, no.
Those go in the pantry.

- At 0930, sir, major predegast
from the car relative

operations Southern
division committee

will be here to speak to you
about the combined groups'

requisition outreach.

At 1000,
that'll be colonel lestridge.

Okay, 1100,
a Milo minderbinder

has asked to see you.
He's the mess officer.

He wants to talk to you
about an unusual new variety

of truffles, sir.

Apparently they're worth
a lot of money.

- Okay.

What would you say
if I told you I don't want

to see those people?

- Which people in particular,
sir?

- All of them.
Any of them.

Sergeant: Well, sir, my job
is to schedule your day

as you request.

- Okay, from now on,
I would much prefer if no one

came in to see me
while I'm here.

- Yes.
Does that include me, sir?

Major: Yes, that includes you,
sergeant.

- Of course, sir.

- That's no one ever.

Sergeant: I see, sir.
Very good, sir.

Will that be all, sir?

- Yes.

Yes, yes.
That will be all.

- What shall I say to the people who do
come to see you while you're here?

Major: Tell them...

Tell them I'm in
and ask them to wait.

- Yes, sir.
For how long?

- Until I've left.

Sergeant: What shall I do
with them then, sir?

- You know what?
I don't care.

Sergeant: May I send them in
to see you after you've left?

- Yes. Yes, you may.
You may indeed.

- But you won't be here then, will you?
Major: Yes, that's correct.

- Well, sir, just to clarify,
when should I come here

to find out if there's anything
you want me to do for you?

- When I'm not here.

Sergeant : Yes,
and what should I do?

- Whatever I tell you to.

Sergeant: But you won't be
here to tell me.

- No.

Then what should I do?

- Whatever has to be done.
Cross that bridge when we come to it.

- Yes, sir.

Major: Good.

Well, dismissed, then.

Chaplain: The lord
is my Shepherd.

I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down
in green pastures.

He leadeth me
beside still waters.

He restoreth my soul.

He leadeth me
in paths of righteousness

for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk
through the valley

of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil.

- Look, enough with all
the death stuff?

What do you say we send
the boys out feeling good?

Don't you have something
a little bit more, I dunno,

goddamn sunnier?

- Sunnier.

May the road rise to meet you.

May the wind
be always at your back.

The sun shine warm
upon your face.

The rains fall soft
upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

may god hold you
in the palm of his hand.

Man: Closing in on target.
30 seconds to run.

- Crew, you still fucking
alive back there?

Man: Yossarian, you on
a steady heading?

We're approaching.

Steady.

Bombs away.

Okay, over to you, mcwatt.
Get us out of here.

Cathcart: We have pounded
the bastards into submission

and we have taken Rome.

Congratulations, gentlemen.

St. Lawrence basilica, rubble.

This one, good job.

This, bravo.
Bravo, gentlemen.

What is this?

The hell is this?

What in the goddamn hell
is this?

That looks like a goddamn
tourist postcard!

Hands up, bombardiers.

Well, there you have it.

A group of idiots
trying to singlehandedly

lose this fucking war for us.

Next time why don't we
just drop leaflets?

Guten tag, my German friends.

You just have a fine
old fucking day, why don't you?

What are we trying to be?

What have I told you
that we are trying to be?

Comprehensive.
Blanket coverage.

Flush the enemy out.
How many times have I told you?

How many times--

- that's the Vatican, sir.

- All right, then.
That's Vatican City.

And as we all know,
that is neutral territory, so good job.

That is precision bombing,
gentlemen.

You gotta respect
that neutral territory.

Terrific job.

Gotta love those catholics,

and the Jews.

Major de coverley.

Major de coverley will be
heading to Rome to spearhead

his advance reconnaissance
residential plan.

And, as usual, securing
accommodations for the officers

in the performing
of their administrative duties.

As well as their weekend leave,
of course.

Major de coverley, we look
forward as always to your...

Splendid accommodations.

- That's if I can find any
still standing in there.

- I'm sure you will.

Gosh, I'm proud of you,
gentlemen.

I'm very proud indeed.

So what do you say
we speed this thing up?

Are you with me?
All right, then.

Let's get this thing
over and done with.

Let's put the hurt on Jerry.
Let's pitch in.

Let's raise the mission count
to 35.

35 it is, gentlemen.
We're gonna win this thing.

We're gonna win
this fucking thing.

35 it is.

- You can't go in there, sir.
- Yes, I can.

He's my point guard.

He's raising
the missions again.

He's raising the goddamn
missions again.

Major: He's awfully keen.

- No, he's not keen.
He's crazy!

- I-I have no power.
Yossarian: Yes, you do.

You have the power
to stand men down.

Major: On what basis?
- Find a basis.

Good god, there are basises
everywhere.

- Yossarian, I don't even
want to be here.

- I'm two missions away.

And, bang, 35, just like that.

And just like that, I'm 7 away.

- That's terrible.

Yossarian,
that's simply terrible.

- I'm afraid.

Major: That-- that's nothing
to be ashamed of.

- I'm not ashamed.
I'm afraid.

So what are we gonna do?

- I don't know.

I-I don't even know
what powers I have.

- Well, somebody must know.

It must be written down
somewhere.

Yeah?

- Probably in here somewhere.

Yossarian: What the hell
is that?

Major: It's the group leaders
operations manual.

Perhaps I should read it.

- Jesus Christ. Okay.

You read this.

You figure out
what your powers are.

And you can find me when you
know how they can be used

to help me?

- I'll be in the hospital.

Thank you, major.

I mean, thank you, sir.

Hello. How are you?

Hi. Hi.

How are you?

Hello.

- What's going on here?

- I just need
a few days, maximum.

- A few days for what?
- For my situation.

My situation's complicated.

I have a major
working on it right now.

He's having to sort through
some very technical details.

Documents. Debts.

- What's that got to do with
you being in here?

Yossarian: Well, if it helps
your situation at all,

I really am feeling
a little unwell.

- My situation?

- Look, I'll be quiet
as a mouse.

If you need a bed,
I'm out of here in two minutes

and you'll barely even
know that I'm here.

Please?

Texan: Remember the alamo?
You're goddamn right I do.

We didn't take no handouts.

We took Texas by hook
or by crook

one county at a time.

That's my grandpappy
I'm talking about there, boy.

His grandpappy 'fore him.

Soil conservation society
thinks they can tell us

how to farm our own land.

Well, we've been doing that
for 120 years,

thank you very much.

You're very welcome indeed,
sir.

I grew up on a 900-acre
spread out near sonora.

It's all horizon
out there, boy.

Horizon, every direction.

This one time, me and my pappy,
we was leading 1,000 head

through a dry gulch,
and we heard this noise.

What on earth could that be?

Sounds a little like thunder.

Only it keeps rumbling.

And it ain't no thunder.

Turns out it'd been raining
up near christoval.

Whoo-hoo, them gulches ain't
seen water in 100 years.

And I'm yelling,
"pappy, you hearing this?"

Suddenly, there's a longhorn
about 100 yards up.

He's met with a wall of water.

You could feel it hit him.

Turned him flankside
like a linebacker.

And the wave is acting like
a cow catcher on the front

of a train just collecting
all them steers.

And it's coming for us.

Just a whole tumble fuck of--

Man: che Bella cosa na
jurnata 'e sole

n'Aria Serena doppo
na tempesta

pe' ll'Aria fresca pare
Gia' na festa

che Bella cosa na
jurnata 'e sole

- Buongiorno.
- Buongiorno.

- Un caffè, per favore.
E un...

Glass of water.
- Si, signore.

- The, um-- the building--
the, um--

what do you call it?...

Edificio.

Who-- chi--
owns the building? The--

- scusi?

- The proprietario
of the edificio.

- Un secondo.
Giuseppe.

L'americano vuole sapere
chi è proprietario del--

- proprietario.
that's it, that's it.

- Dammi una mano.
Non so cosa consegui.

- May I help you, sir?

- English.

I want to know who owns
that building 'cause I need

to requisition it on behalf
of the fighting men

of the United States
of America.

Texan: People of means,
decent folk,

they deserve more votes than
drifters and whores-- criminals.

Degenerates, atheists.
They're indecent folk.

You know, people without means.

You know what I'm saying?

Way I see it, there's only
two types

of people in this world.

People of means
and people without means.

- You gotta get me
a private room.

I'm losing my mind.

This has become
a mental health issue now.

What about that oath
that you take

about not doing me any harm?

- The hippocratic oath?
Yossarian: That's the one.

- That's just for doctors.

Yossarian: Come on.
What do you say?

A little peace and quiet
would be

tremendously beneficial to me.

- Don't push it.

Lift your tongue.

Texan: One man,
one vote's poppycock.

But one man ain't always equal
to one other man.

That's just the way it is.
That's the law of nature, man.

Some folks, it's just--
it's claws and disembowelment

from cradle to gra--

Korn: Now,
with one new runway-- this one--

you increase your overall
flight capacity

to 162 per day.

Cathcart: Additional?
Korn: Correct, sir.

Now, a second runway,
engineering-wise,

it's a bigger job.

We have to extend out here
past the spit.

But if we do that,
you're gonna be able to siphon

off some of the heavier cargo
flights from runway one

and that'll take you to 420
individual flights per week.

- 420?

No one on the other bases
come close to that.

- I don't think so, sir, no.

This is a three-month flow
chart analyzing the cost

of the one runway
option versus--

- well, forget the one runway
option, korn.

Think big.
Korn: Yes. I thought so.

- For god's sakes,
if I had a nickel for every

small thought of yours,
I'd be the richest--

what on god's green earth
is that?

Milo: It's only me, sir.

Cathcart: Who in the hell
are you?

- I'm Milo minderbinder, sir.
I'm the new mess officer.

You may have heard of me.

- Do you realize these men
have orders to shoot to kill?

- We come
bearing tomatoes, sir.

You're gonna have to try this.

Wait, wait.

This is olive oil, sir.

The Italians use it
for everything.

- My god.
- You get it?

- Korn, try one of these.

- Good god.

- They're selling for $3
a bale in London!

That's a 550% markup!

- 550? That's an interesting number.

You're saying that I'm buying
tomatoes off of you

in this scenario?

- Well, what I'm actually
saying, sir,

is that for you this time it's
actually an infinity percent

markup because--
because I'd like you

to have these tomatoes, sir,
to do with as you may!

- Well, that's very
generous of you,

but I couldn't possibly take
all these tomato--

- and then of course in
the normal course of business,

I could offer you
future shipments

at very attractive rates,
almost at my cost, sir.

So you'd be dropping
from infinity percent

back to 500, 300, thereabouts,
should you wish to participate.

- Well, Milo-- participate?

- Participate.

- Milo, commerce
isn't exactly my bag.

I've got a base to ru--
- you'd be a natural, sir.

I got a good eye
for these things.

- I am planning on building
a couple runways out there

to increase flight capacity,
all that jazz, but I'm not--

- well, increased flight
capacity means

increased profits for those
with the vision to see.

- War is not about profit, son.
- Absolutely, sir. Not only.

- War is about the justs
defeating the unjusts.

- It is absolutely that,
too, sir.

- What about you, son?

Are you enjoying your missions?

- I'm proud to be doing
my bit, sir.

Yes, indeed.
Thank you for asking.

- Good, good.

Good, good.

Texan: Are you
a bill bevens man?

Or are you a Ralph branca man?

Well, let's look
at this season.

Bill bevens has got an era
so far of 3.68.

But his 1944 era was 2.67.

See, you gotta ask yourself,
what happened

to bill bevens this year?

Now, Ralph branca,
his era's around three,

but you gotta remember
kid's 19, right?

He's just gonna
keep getting better.

And bill bevens, he's 28.
That elbow's getting tired.

So you're the yankee's gm.
What are you gonna do?

How often
you gonna relieve him?

Well, who do you got?

You got tiny bonham,
you got spud Chandler--

- he can't fucking hear you!

We don't even know
if he's alive in there!

- I can hear you.
- I know you can, buddy.

- Do we all have to listen
to your bullshit?

Texan: What's your fucking problem?
- You! You're my fucking problem!

- Me? What did I do?
- You won't shut up!

I can't even hear myself think!
This is a fucking hospital!

Texan: Yeah, it's a fucking hospital.
It's not a fucking library!

I'm helping this fuck, man.
He's trapped in there.

Where's your humanity?
- You're bringing him

out of his shell, are you?

- Come on, guys.
- Stay out of it, buddy.

Yossarian: I just want
some peace and quiet.

We all do. We're all just trying
to fucking convalesce here.

- Okay, you've been elected
ward spokesman now,

is that right, numb nuts?

- You want a piece of me?
- Not really.

- Well, you're gonna get one.
- Okay, then.

- Okay, then.
- Great.

- Great.

- Hey, hey!
What is going on here?

Hey! Knock it off!

Yossarian: I'll kill you!

- That's it, yossarian.
You're out of here!

- What?

Man: Son of a bitch!
Let's go!

Man: Yo-yo, come on,
are we close yet?

Man: Okay, where we at?

Man: Clear, 053.
Holding at 3,200.

Man: You got fire.
Are you okay?

Man: Yo-yo, we almost there?

Man: We're holding.

Man: Open them up!
Open them up!

- Fucking Christ.
Jesus fucking Christ.

Jeez!

Ooh, fuck!
Ooh, fuck!

Man: Yeah, we're coming up
on it now.

All right, just hold steady
right there.

Man: We're over it now.
We gotta drop.

Let's go.
Open them up.

Coming up on your left,
yossarian.

Are you holding steady?

Man: We're sitting right
on top of them, yo-yo!

Yo-yo! Drop them, yo-yo!

And... release.

Man: Now I push.

Man: Okay.
- Forget it.

Fold, I'm out.

Man: What?
Man: It's fine.

You would've thought I would've
been more of a problem.

Man: Come on.
Man: Not fair!

Man: Come on.

- Very nice.
Very clean.

Bellissimo.

- Leave her alone, aarfy.

Aarfy: I'm just saying,
she's very clean.

What's your name, honey?

What is it?
Qual è il tuo--

um...
Qual è il tuo nome?

- Mi chiamo Michaela.

- Michaela.
That's very nice.

Me and you should go for a walk
sometime, Michaela.

Michaela: Scusi?

Aarfy: We should go
for a walk sometime!

You look like Bette Davis.

- Give it a rest, aarfy.
She doesn't understand you.

- Gentlemen.

No, no, sit down.

So, how are we?

Enjoying our rest and
recreation in the eternal city?

Sampson: Yes, sir.
We are, sir.

De coverly: What's on the
dance card for this evening?

- Nately lost his mind
to a woman of the night.

- She's, like,
the most real person

that I've ever met, yo-yo.

Nately: She tries
to speak english.

She gets the words wrong
and we laugh.

We just laugh a lot.

Yeah, we talked all night.
How does that happen?

You know, I've got
this phrase book,

but it's not like I'm looking
at the phrase book

every two seconds.

We just talk.

You know,
it's some of her words.

It's some of my words.

We put them together,
and somehow it all makes sense.

We cuddle.
We fuck, yeah.

It's crazy.

She's just, like,
a real person.

Marcello: America will lose
the war, my friend.

And Italy will win it.

- America is the strongest

and most prosperous nation
on earth,

and the American fighting man
is second to none.

Why do you think we are here
and the Germans are on the run?

- And Italy, on the other hand,
is one of the least prosperous

nations on earth.

And the Italian fighting man
is probably second to all.

And that's exactly why
my country is doing so well

in this war while your country
is doing so poorly.

The Germans have been
driven out now,

as you so correctly observe.

In a few months,
you will be gone too.

And we will still be here.

- Amen to that.

- You see, Italy is really
a very poor and weak country.

And that's what makes us
so strong.

Italian soldiers
are not dying anymore,

but American and German
soldiers are, no?

I call that
doing extremely well.

Italy will survive this war

and still be in existence

long after your own country
has been destroyed.

- America is not
going to be destroyed.

- I wish for your sake
it were true.

For your beliefs.

Because America is a very great
and noble idea.

- You're too right.
It is.

- Yeah, it's a wonderful idea.

- But Rome was destroyed.
Greece was destroyed.

Persia was destroyed.
Spain was destroyed.

All great empires
are destroyed.

Why not yours?

- We are gonna survive
and triumph

for a long, long time.

You put so much stock
in winning.

But listen, the real trick
is losing wars.

In knowing which wars
can be lost.

- You talk like a madman.

- But I live like a sane one.

I was a fascist
when Mussolini was on top,

and I am an anti-fascist
now he has been deposed.

I was fanatically pro-German
when the Germans were here

to protect us
against the Americans.

And now the Americans are here
to protect us

against the Germans,
I'm fanatical pro-American.

I assure you
that you and your country

will have no more loyal
partisan in Italy than me.

But only for as long
as you remain.

- Don't you have
any principles?

- Of course not.

Clevinger: No morality?

- No.
I'm a very, very moral man.

- And you have good taste
in Brandy.

- One does one's best.

Clara: Marcello.

- Yo-yo, you gotta convince
her to stay with me.

Just tell him to tell her
that I'm good for it.

Or-- or-- or lend me some money.
How you doing for cash?

I spent $640
on 32 hours straight.

How did I do that?

- Well, love did.
That's what love does.

Nately: What am I gonna do?

Yossarian: Didn't your dad
give you money?

- I love him.
Can you-- can you--

- he did.
He gave me money.

But that's already gone.
I mean, what have I done?

- 32 hours,
who knows?

Marcello: Clarina.

What's your name?

- I'm nately, sir.

- Nately...
Because it's Sunday,

because you--
you are a nice boy,

I give you two hours
because you make happy

my little clarina.

- Two hours?
W-we have--

we have two hours?

Marcello: Yeah.

It's a gift
from the people of Italy.

Go.

- Thank you.
Thank you, sir.

- Si.
bye, bye, bye, bye.

Nately: Come on.

Marcello: Bye.

- He won't need two hours.

- What have you got there?

- I--
I don't speak Italian, honey.

What's--
what's your name?

- Smoke. Smoke.

- Yeah, I'm--
I'm good for cigarettes.

Thanks.

- I don't--

I don't-- I don't speak--
what's--

what's your-- what's your name?
You?

Your name.

- Ines.
Yossarian: Ines.

Well, that's a beautiful name.

Ines: You?
- Me, I'm yo-yo.

Ines: Yo-yo.

- Yo-yo.
- Yo-yo.

Yo-yo.
Yossarian: Yeah.

Hey, Ines, where's--
where's your mom and dad?

Your-- your parents?

Okay.

Well, how much for this?

- Cinque.

Yossarian: Lira?

Good god, Ines.

You're a tough operator.

All right.

Find a use for this,
I guess, somehow.

- All right, kid.
Thank you.

Hey, go home
to your, parents or...

Yeah.

All right, good, good.

Milo: All right, fellas!
I hope you like dried herring.

Yossarian: Hey, you going back
to pianosa?

Can we hitch a ride?
Milo: Where's yours?

Yossarian: I dunno.

That's what we're waiting
to find out.

- Well, mine's already full.

You hear cathcart's raised
the missions again?

- You mean last month,
to 35.

- No, I mean yesterday to 40.

- Are you serious?

Milo: Shit, guys.

I thought you would have
already have heard.

- How would we have heard?

Nately: Hey, she's not a whore.
Man: She's not a whore?

Nately: I told you
not to call her that.

Man: No, she's a librarian.

And she just takes money
for sex.

Man: Nately, she's a whore.

Yossarian: Am I supposed
to get my ass shot off

because cathcart wants
to become a general?

- What about the men
on the mainland?

Our boys on the ground,
are they supposed to get

their asses shot off just
because you don't want to fly?

Those boys are entitled
to air support.

- Our boys on the ground.
Would you listen to yourself?

Now you're even talking
like cathcart.

Yes, they're entitled
to our support.

But not necessarily by me.
Not me specifically.

The only reason we're still
flying is not for some--

for some noble purpose.

It's because that bastard
keeps raising our missions.

- Listen, you know very well
that I don't approve

of colonel cathcart
any more than you do.

But it is not for us
to determine what targets

must be destroyed,
or who's to destroy them.

- Or who gets killed
doing them and why?

- Or what's-- yes, even that.
We have no right to question--

- you're insane.
- No right to question the--

- do you really mean that
it's none of my business

how or why I get killed
and that it is cathcart's?

Do you really mean that?
- Yes, I do.

There are men entrusted
with winning the war

who are in a much better
position than we are

to decide what targets
have to be bombed

and who has to do it.

- Okay, we're talking
about two different things.

You're talking
about the relationship

of the air corps
to the infantry.

- Yeah.

- And I'm talking
about the relationship

of me to cathcart.

You're talking
about winning the war.

And I'm talking about winning
the war and keeping me alive.

- Exactly.

And which do you think
is more important?

- What?
Open your eyes!

Clevinger, it doesn't make
a damn bit of difference

who wins the war
to someone who's dead.

- Congratulations. I can't think
of another attitude that could be

depended upon to give greater
comfort to the enemy.

- The enemy is anybody
who's gonna get you killed

no matter which side he's on,
and that includes cathcart.

And don't you forget that,
'cause the longer

you remember it,
the longer you might live.

- I want to live.
Don't get me wrong.

- Then listen to me!
Listen to yo-yo!

I continually give you
sound, lifesaving advice.

I am helping you live.

And you continue to recklessly
operate on fucking principle.

- To my dying day.

No love, no nothing

until my baby comes home

no, sir, no nothing

as long as baby must roam

I promised him
I'd wait for him

till even Hades froze

I'm lonesome, heaven knows

but what I said still goes

no love, no nothing

and that's a promise
I'll keep

no fun with no one

I'm getting
plenty of sleep

my heart's on strike
and though it's like

an empty honeycomb

no love, no, sir,
no nothing

till my baby comes home

- And we buy
from this syndicate?

- Yes,
the fundamental principle

is everybody has his share.

And it's that mass purchasing
power that makes

the big difference.
For example, lamb chops.

- I heard about
those lamb chops.

Milo: Well, then you'll have
heard they're the best

the black market has to offer.

They're going
for a song in Scotland.

- I can't send a plane
to Scotland.

I don't have the authority
for that.

- I can if you lend me a plane.

And then, colonel,
there's Polish sausage

that goes for peanuts
in cracow.

- Cracow's hundreds of miles
behind enemy lines.

How would you
get to the sausage?

- There's an international
Polish sausage exchange in Geneva.

I'll just fly the peanuts
into Switzerland

and exchange them
for Polish sausage

at the open market rate.

They'll fly the peanuts
back to cracow.

I'll fly the Polish sausage
back to you.

You buy only as much Polish sausage
as you want from the syndicate.

There will be
the tangerines too.

And eggs from Malta
and scotch from sicily.

You'll be paying the money
to yourself

from the syndicate
since you'll own a share.

So really you'll be getting
everything you buy for nothing.

Doesn't that make sense?

So you're helping the boys

on the ground after all.

- Helping the boys
on the ground.

Clevinger: Good for you,
yo-yo. Good for you.

Yankee doodle went to town

riding on a pony

stuck a feather in his cap

and called it macaroni

yankee doodle

keep it up

yankee doodle dandy

mind the music
and the step

Yossarian: And...

Clevinger: and with
the girls

- Bombs away.
Clevinger: be handy

yankee doodle is a tune

that comes in mighty handy

the enemy all runs away

at...

Mcwatt: That's it
for another day, gentlemen.

We are heading home.

We are out of here,
laden maiden.

- Did you hear something,
mcwatt?

Mcwatt: Did I hear what?

- Are you getting laden maiden?

Mcwatt: Clevinger?

Hey, clevinger?
You there, buddy?

I think it's just the radio.

- Hey, has laden maiden landed?
Mechanic: What?

- Has laden maiden come back?
Mechanic: I don't know, sir.

Yossarian: Did
laden maiden land?

Atc: This is tower to army,
7499.

Are you receiving? Over.

This is tower to army, 7499.

Are you receiving? Over.

This is tower to army, 7499.

Are you receiving? Over.

This is tower to army, 7499.

Are you receiving? Over.

Chaplain: Still no news
on clevinger?

- Nothing.

It's 36 hours now.

He's on
the missing in action list.

It's official.

- That's no good.

You were with him in Santa Ana?

- Yeah, we went through
the whole thing.

Clevinger was...

He was just good.

Basically.

Cathcart: Bologna, gentlemen.

This is where the rubber
hits the road.

Enemy artillery are here,
here, and here.

But our raiders are not
getting to them

because they're being torn
to shreds both here, here,

and here.

Our guess is,
there are howitzers

based in those cave systems.

Here, here, and,
somewhere around there.

Very difficult to pinpoint
a target.

It's basically a hole
in the ground,

as you men well know.

Now, some of you will not
be coming back.

There's no other way
of telling you that.

Just basic statistics
tell us that.

So, if any of you should find
yourself on the wrong side

of the statistics-- and at the
risk of stating the obvious--

I would like to point out
that your sacrifice will not

have been in vain.

And, if in your final moments,
you see death

coming for you,
think not of death.

Think of the living.
And know this.

God damn it,
the 27th air corps division

thanks you for your sacrifice,
gentlemen.

Man: I've got
my fingers crossed

not that I'm superstitious

I'm afraid it's too good
to be true

I've got
my fingers crossed

no wonder I'm suspicious

I'm so gay
and skies are much too blue

don't want no trouble
with old man trouble

and that goes double

on account of
because I'm in love

why certainly I've got
my fingers crossed

yeah, the thrill
is so delicious

I'm afraid
it's too good to be true

Sure