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1
00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:03,540
( upbeat piano theme playing )
2
00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:09,540
Oh, my God.
3
00:00:09,540 --> 00:00:12,050
Isn't that the guy from
the soft drink commercial?
4
00:00:12,050 --> 00:00:15,550
FAY:
Oh, yeah. The construction
worker who takes off his shirt.
5
00:00:15,550 --> 00:00:17,550
He has the most
incredible body.
6
00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:20,050
Let's go meet...him.
7
00:00:20,050 --> 00:00:21,060
Hi, I'm Helen Chapel.
8
00:00:21,060 --> 00:00:22,060
Hi, I'm Alex Lambert
9
00:00:22,060 --> 00:00:24,060
and we recognize you
from your commercial.
10
00:00:24,060 --> 00:00:25,060
Will you take off
your shirt?
11
00:00:25,060 --> 00:00:26,060
Helen.
Sorry.
12
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:27,560
No, no, it's okay.
13
00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:28,560
People ask me to do that
all the time.
14
00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:29,560
I don't mind.
15
00:00:32,570 --> 00:00:34,570
You know, uh, I think
the, uh, zipper's stuck.
16
00:00:34,570 --> 00:00:36,070
Here, let me
try to get it.
17
00:00:38,070 --> 00:00:39,070
It's stuck
on the fabric.
18
00:00:39,070 --> 00:00:40,580
Oh, here, move over.
Let me try.
19
00:00:41,580 --> 00:00:43,080
Announcing final boarding
20
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:47,080
of Aeromass flight 23
to New York through Gate 1.
21
00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:48,080
Time! We need
more time.
22
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:49,080
No, I-- I'm really sorry.
23
00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:50,590
I-I have to go.
24
00:00:50,580 --> 00:00:51,590
Allow me.
25
00:01:00,590 --> 00:01:03,100
Thank you so much.
26
00:01:03,100 --> 00:01:04,600
Nice meeting you ladies.
27
00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:22,120
Guess who.
28
00:01:22,120 --> 00:01:23,120
And I'll give you
a hint:
29
00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:25,620
You, me and three naked
cocktail waitresses
30
00:01:25,620 --> 00:01:28,120
playing roulette
on Aruba.
31
00:01:29,620 --> 00:01:32,130
You'll have to be
more specific.
32
00:01:32,630 --> 00:01:34,130
Danny Quinn!
Yes.
33
00:01:34,130 --> 00:01:35,130
Brian.
Danny Quinn!
34
00:01:35,130 --> 00:01:36,630
Man, I can't believe this.
35
00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:37,630
How the hell
are you?
36
00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:39,130
I'm great,
but what about you?
37
00:01:39,130 --> 00:01:40,130
A tie, a clipboard,
38
00:01:40,130 --> 00:01:41,640
where's the pocket
protector?
39
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:43,140
Hey, don't let
the clothing fool you.
40
00:01:43,140 --> 00:01:45,140
I'm just as crazy
as ever, man.
41
00:01:45,140 --> 00:01:47,640
Brian, your pencils came in.
You were right, man.
42
00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:50,140
Different colors was definitely
the way to go.
43
00:01:51,650 --> 00:01:54,150
Joey, you're not gonna
believe who this is,
44
00:01:54,150 --> 00:01:55,150
this is Danny Quinn.
45
00:01:55,150 --> 00:01:56,150
Danny, this is my
brother Joe.
46
00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:57,150
How you doin', Danny?
47
00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:58,650
This is your
brother Joe?
Yeah.
48
00:01:58,650 --> 00:02:01,660
He doesn't look
like such a dweeb.
49
00:02:01,660 --> 00:02:04,660
Dweeb? D-did you know that
Brian wet his bed until, uh--
50
00:02:04,660 --> 00:02:07,160
I don't know.
How are you doing with that?
51
00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:10,670
So, what are you
doing here, Danny?
52
00:02:10,660 --> 00:02:12,670
Well, I was in Boston
talking to my publisher...
53
00:02:12,670 --> 00:02:13,670
Your who?
54
00:02:13,670 --> 00:02:14,670
Check it out.
55
00:02:14,670 --> 00:02:16,170
( laughing ):
Oh, man.
56
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:17,670
Tequila Nights
by Danny Quinn.
57
00:02:17,670 --> 00:02:18,670
Yeah. It's about
you and me
58
00:02:18,670 --> 00:02:20,670
and all the wild times
we had on the islands.
59
00:02:20,670 --> 00:02:21,680
You gotta be kiddin' me.
60
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,180
They let you publish
that stuff?
61
00:02:23,180 --> 00:02:24,680
Here's your coffee, Joe.
Thanks, Helen.
62
00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:26,680
Hello,
I'm Danny Quinn
63
00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,680
and I'm a real close,
close friend of Brian's.
64
00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:29,680
Unless, of course,
you hate him,
65
00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:31,190
in which case,
I do too.
66
00:02:31,190 --> 00:02:32,690
( chuckles )
67
00:02:32,690 --> 00:02:33,690
He's funny
and tall.
68
00:02:33,690 --> 00:02:35,190
( giggles )
69
00:02:35,190 --> 00:02:37,190
Um, hi, I'm Helen Chapel.
70
00:02:37,190 --> 00:02:38,690
And it's very nice
to meet you.
71
00:02:38,690 --> 00:02:39,690
That's very subtle, Helen.
72
00:02:39,690 --> 00:02:41,200
Why don't you just
club him over the head
73
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,700
and drag him back
to your cave.
74
00:02:43,700 --> 00:02:44,700
Wait a second,
is this you?
75
00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:46,200
Oh, yeah,
Danny wrote that.
76
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:48,200
It's all about the wild times
we had in the Caribbean.
77
00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:49,700
Keep it, if you want,
I've already read it.
78
00:02:49,700 --> 00:02:51,710
And frankly, I find it
rather pedestrian.
79
00:02:51,710 --> 00:02:52,710
( laughs )
80
00:02:52,710 --> 00:02:54,210
Well, great.
I can't wait to--
81
00:02:54,210 --> 00:02:55,210
Whoa-ho.
82
00:02:55,210 --> 00:02:57,210
Hello.
83
00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:59,210
That word sort of jumps out
at ya, doesn't it?
84
00:02:59,210 --> 00:03:01,220
Mm-hm.
85
00:03:01,220 --> 00:03:03,220
Interesting
local talent.
86
00:03:03,220 --> 00:03:04,720
Uh, she's got
a boyfriend.
87
00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:06,220
What's on for tonight?
88
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,720
Hey, man, anything
you wanna do?
89
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:09,220
I'm up for something.
90
00:03:09,220 --> 00:03:10,730
In fact, there's a place
on the island
91
00:03:10,720 --> 00:03:12,230
that is perfect for you,
crawling with women.
92
00:03:12,230 --> 00:03:13,230
Just like
the old days.
93
00:03:13,230 --> 00:03:14,230
I'm for something.
94
00:03:14,230 --> 00:03:15,730
Uh, damn,
you know,
95
00:03:15,730 --> 00:03:17,230
I just remembered
my car's in the shop.
96
00:03:17,230 --> 00:03:18,230
I got a car.
97
00:03:20,730 --> 00:03:22,740
Hey, Joey, you wanna come
with me and Danny tonight?
98
00:03:22,740 --> 00:03:24,740
Oh, oh, you think I don't
know what you're doing?
99
00:03:24,740 --> 00:03:26,240
Just 'cause I've got a car,
100
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,240
now you're gonna
invite me along.
101
00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:29,240
Seven o'clock okay?
102
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:30,240
Yeah, it's great.
103
00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:32,250
Oh, in fact, you know,
we don't have anymore flights.
104
00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:33,750
Let's get Joe
and let's get outta here.
105
00:03:33,750 --> 00:03:34,750
Excellent.
Hey, babe.
106
00:03:34,750 --> 00:03:36,250
Oh, hey.
Hey, hey, Alex.
107
00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:37,750
My girlfriend,
right.
108
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:39,750
Hi, uh-- Alex, uh...
109
00:03:39,750 --> 00:03:41,760
This is my old friend
Danny Quinn,
110
00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:42,760
This is my
girlfriend Alex.
111
00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:44,760
Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you.
112
00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:47,260
Uh, wait a minute,
Danny Quinn.
113
00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:50,260
The Danny Quinn? The one
who got you thrown in jail?
114
00:03:50,260 --> 00:03:51,770
Hey, hey, hey, now.
115
00:03:51,770 --> 00:03:53,270
She's the one that wanted
to dance topless,
116
00:03:53,270 --> 00:03:55,770
how were we supposed to know she
was the ambassador's daughter?
117
00:03:56,270 --> 00:03:57,770
Listen, Alex,
118
00:03:57,770 --> 00:03:59,270
we've got a lot
of catching up to do.
119
00:03:59,270 --> 00:04:00,780
Can I borrow Brian
for a few hours?
120
00:04:00,770 --> 00:04:02,780
You don't have to
ask her permission.
121
00:04:02,780 --> 00:04:04,280
I can go, can't I?
122
00:04:05,780 --> 00:04:07,780
Sure, just stay
outta jail.
123
00:04:07,780 --> 00:04:08,780
It was nice
to meet you.
124
00:04:08,780 --> 00:04:09,780
Nice meetin' you.
125
00:04:09,780 --> 00:04:12,790
"Hot and flushed
from lovemaking,
126
00:04:12,790 --> 00:04:15,290
"Kiki dove naked
off the boat,
127
00:04:15,290 --> 00:04:17,790
"motioning Ryan
to join her
128
00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:20,790
in the warm, beckoning
waters of the cove."
129
00:04:20,790 --> 00:04:24,800
Put-- Put-- Put-- Put Kiki
back on the boat and uh...
130
00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:28,800
Read it again, slowly.
131
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,810
Whoa-ho-ho.
Get a load of that.
132
00:04:39,810 --> 00:04:42,320
Oh, boy, that could've
been embarrassing,
133
00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:44,820
I almost wore
the same outfit today.
134
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:50,830
Oh, I don't believe it.
It's Big Strong Man.
135
00:04:50,820 --> 00:04:52,330
Who?
Oh.
136
00:04:52,330 --> 00:04:54,830
Yeah, I remember him from
that TV show when we were kids.
137
00:04:54,830 --> 00:04:57,330
Big Strong Man
Big Strong Man
138
00:04:57,330 --> 00:05:00,840
He lifts up stuff
Just 'cause he can
139
00:05:00,830 --> 00:05:02,340
Yeah.
Yeah.
140
00:05:02,340 --> 00:05:04,340
Yeah, well, wonder
what he's doing here.
141
00:05:04,340 --> 00:05:05,840
You know, he was at
the supermarket opening
142
00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,840
this morning,
signing autographs.
143
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:11,850
I-I invited him to lunch but I
didn't think he was gonna show.
144
00:05:11,850 --> 00:05:13,850
Hey, there.
145
00:05:13,850 --> 00:05:15,850
Hey, Big Strong Man,
I can't believe you're here.
146
00:05:15,850 --> 00:05:17,850
I mean, you--
You really showed up.
147
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:18,850
But, wait a minute,
148
00:05:18,850 --> 00:05:21,360
that's not how Big Strong Man
comes on the scene.
149
00:05:21,360 --> 00:05:23,860
Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah.
All right.
150
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:29,360
Yahooey!
151
00:05:30,860 --> 00:05:33,370
Say, that offer for lunch
still good, little buddy?
152
00:05:33,370 --> 00:05:34,870
I don't believe it.
153
00:05:34,870 --> 00:05:38,370
I, Lowell Mather, am going
to lunch with Big Strong Man.
154
00:05:38,370 --> 00:05:39,370
That's right, son.
155
00:05:39,370 --> 00:05:41,380
Uh, you did say
you'd pay, right?
156
00:05:41,380 --> 00:05:42,880
Hey, try and stop me.
157
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,380
( chuckles ):
Great.
158
00:05:44,380 --> 00:05:46,380
Uh, by the way, a little
trouble finding a hotel room,
159
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:49,380
y-you think I could crash
on your couch for a few days?
160
00:05:49,380 --> 00:05:50,890
Are you kidding?
Huh?
161
00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:53,890
Sure. Oh, this is
gonna be so cool.
162
00:05:53,890 --> 00:05:54,890
I mean, we can
stay up late,
163
00:05:54,890 --> 00:05:56,390
we can tell stories.
164
00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:57,890
Roast marshmallows.
165
00:05:57,890 --> 00:05:59,390
Roast marshmallows, hey.
166
00:05:59,390 --> 00:06:02,400
That's great. Uh, how you fixed
for Scotch, by the way?
167
00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:11,410
So, Danny, I was flipping
through your book
168
00:06:11,410 --> 00:06:13,410
and, uh, I gotta tell ya, I find
it a little hard to believe
169
00:06:13,410 --> 00:06:17,410
that you and this guy, here,
took on four drunk Marines.
170
00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:18,410
Drunk Marines?
171
00:06:18,410 --> 00:06:20,920
Okay, so I embellished.
172
00:06:20,910 --> 00:06:23,920
Actually, it was
two optomologists.
173
00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:27,420
And we were just fighting
over a volleyball court.
174
00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:28,420
Sure, easy for you to say.
175
00:06:28,420 --> 00:06:29,920
I was the one
who had to go toe-to-toe
176
00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:31,930
with Dr. Irving Schenberg.
177
00:06:31,930 --> 00:06:33,930
Hey, hey, guys.
Look right over there.
178
00:06:34,930 --> 00:06:36,430
DANNY:
Ooh, very nice.
179
00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:38,430
You've done well,
brave scout.
180
00:06:39,930 --> 00:06:41,940
Brian, remember the, uh,
foreign tourist bit?
181
00:06:41,940 --> 00:06:42,940
( laughs )
182
00:06:42,940 --> 00:06:43,940
What--? What is that?
183
00:06:43,940 --> 00:06:44,940
Women are suckers for men
184
00:06:44,940 --> 00:06:46,440
with a foreign accent.
185
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:47,940
So we go up to them
and we say that we're,
186
00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:49,440
like, uh, from Australia
187
00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:50,950
and we wanna see
the fun places in town.
188
00:06:50,940 --> 00:06:52,450
Come on, Brian.
Let's show him.
189
00:06:52,450 --> 00:06:53,450
This is gonna
be great.
190
00:06:53,450 --> 00:06:54,450
Well, what are
you gonna do?
191
00:06:54,450 --> 00:06:55,950
Pick up a girl
and take her home to Alex?
192
00:06:55,950 --> 00:06:57,450
Good point.
193
00:06:57,450 --> 00:06:58,450
I'll do it.
194
00:06:58,450 --> 00:06:59,450
All right.
195
00:07:01,460 --> 00:07:03,460
All right, now, remember,
we're Aussies, right?
196
00:07:03,460 --> 00:07:04,460
Let's hear your accent.
197
00:07:04,460 --> 00:07:07,960
Oh, oh, sure.
Uh, let me see, uh...
198
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,960
( normal voice ):
Stick a shrimp on the barbie.
199
00:07:12,470 --> 00:07:14,470
Why don't you be
my American friend.
200
00:07:14,470 --> 00:07:15,970
I can do that.
201
00:07:15,970 --> 00:07:17,470
Have fun,
my boys.
202
00:07:19,470 --> 00:07:20,470
( sighs )
203
00:07:22,980 --> 00:07:23,980
Watch and learn.
204
00:07:23,980 --> 00:07:25,980
You're about to witness
a foolproof method
205
00:07:25,980 --> 00:07:27,480
for picking up women.
206
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,980
That guy over there
is a legend.
207
00:07:29,980 --> 00:07:31,990
The tall one,
not the dweeb.
208
00:07:33,990 --> 00:07:34,990
Aw, oh, what's the matter?
209
00:07:34,990 --> 00:07:36,990
You got shot down, huh?
210
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,490
Well, you tried,
you tried.
211
00:07:38,490 --> 00:07:39,490
What are you
talking about?
212
00:07:39,490 --> 00:07:40,490
It worked like a charm.
213
00:07:40,490 --> 00:07:43,500
They actually bought me
as an American.
214
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:46,500
As a matter of fact,
215
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:49,000
they want us to go to a party
down at the beach.
216
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,500
Ooh, ooh, you know what,
maybe I better
217
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:52,010
just go back home
to Alex, huh?
218
00:07:52,010 --> 00:07:54,510
Aw, poor Brian.
We understand.
219
00:07:54,510 --> 00:07:55,510
It's okay.
Oh, wait a minute.
220
00:07:55,510 --> 00:07:56,510
You got a little
something
221
00:07:56,510 --> 00:07:58,010
sticking out of
your collar, here.
222
00:07:58,010 --> 00:07:59,010
Oh, look, it's a leash.
223
00:07:59,010 --> 00:08:01,010
Sta-- Come on, I know
what you're trying to do.
224
00:08:01,010 --> 00:08:04,020
You're trying to embarrass me
into going out with ya.
225
00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:05,520
Let me tell ya something...
226
00:08:05,520 --> 00:08:07,020
It worked.
Let's go.
227
00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:18,530
ANTONIO: Hi, Lowell.
Hey.
228
00:08:18,530 --> 00:08:21,040
Where's your, uh--?
Your superhero friend.
229
00:08:21,030 --> 00:08:24,540
Oh, he just stopped off
for beer and cigarettes.
230
00:08:24,540 --> 00:08:27,040
You know, it's quite an honor
to have Big Strong Man
231
00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,040
staying at my house,
232
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,040
and eating all of my food,
233
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:34,050
and making long-distance
calls on my phone.
234
00:08:34,050 --> 00:08:36,050
I'm surprised he didn't make you
sleep on the couch.
235
00:08:36,050 --> 00:08:38,050
Uh, no, I wanted to.
236
00:08:38,050 --> 00:08:39,550
You know, I mean,
he's had severe back trouble
237
00:08:39,550 --> 00:08:42,060
ever since episode 43,
when he had to lift up
238
00:08:42,060 --> 00:08:45,560
the entire city of Philadelphia.
239
00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:48,060
Lowell, honey, he didn't
actually lift up
240
00:08:48,060 --> 00:08:50,060
the city of Philadelphia.
241
00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:53,570
Excuse me, but I think
I have the episode on tape.
242
00:08:58,570 --> 00:09:00,570
How's it going, Big Strong Man?
243
00:09:00,570 --> 00:09:02,080
Yahooey.
244
00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:03,580
You know, I've been
meaning to ask you,
245
00:09:03,580 --> 00:09:06,580
where did you ever come up
with that cool "Yahooey"?
246
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:09,580
Oh, well, it involved
a trip to the doctor.
247
00:09:09,580 --> 00:09:12,090
Big Strong Man had
what later, thankfully,
248
00:09:12,090 --> 00:09:14,090
turned out to be just a polyp.
249
00:09:18,590 --> 00:09:20,590
So you wanna go have lunch,
Big Strong Man?
250
00:09:20,590 --> 00:09:22,600
Who's paying?
I am.
251
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,600
Right behind you.
252
00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,600
Uh, Big Strong Man, uh...
253
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:31,610
Ever tried using your
superpowers to pick up a check?
254
00:09:31,610 --> 00:09:33,110
Hey, I was gonna
pay for his lunch,
255
00:09:33,110 --> 00:09:36,610
I had a little trouble
with the cash machine, huh?
256
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,610
What's your PIN
number again?
257
00:09:40,110 --> 00:09:42,120
Hey, Danny.
Hey, man.
258
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:43,120
How are ya?
259
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:44,120
Brian, how ya doin'?
260
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:45,620
We had a great
time last night.
261
00:09:45,620 --> 00:09:46,620
Ah, the best.
262
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:47,620
Best time I've had
in a long time.
263
00:09:47,620 --> 00:09:49,620
Great, 'cause I just
talked to my publisher
264
00:09:49,620 --> 00:09:50,620
and she got me
VIP passes
265
00:09:50,620 --> 00:09:52,630
to a New York club
opening tonight.
266
00:09:52,630 --> 00:09:55,130
Hey, I'm there.
Me too.
267
00:09:55,130 --> 00:09:57,630
Hey, Brian, you've been out
every night this week, man.
268
00:09:57,630 --> 00:09:58,630
Yeah, do you really
think Alex
269
00:09:58,630 --> 00:10:00,130
is gonna let you out
again tonight?
270
00:10:00,130 --> 00:10:02,140
Let me out? Let me out.
271
00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:03,140
What am I, a dog?
272
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:04,640
Hi.
273
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:07,140
Hey, hey, baby.
Um...
274
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:10,140
Listen, Danny and Joey
and I are gonna be doing
275
00:10:10,140 --> 00:10:11,650
this club thing
in New York tonight.
276
00:10:11,650 --> 00:10:12,650
You're going out
again tonight?
277
00:10:12,650 --> 00:10:14,650
That's four nights
in a row.
278
00:10:14,650 --> 00:10:16,650
I know, but we didn't have any
plans for tonight, did we?
279
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,150
Well, yeah, we did.
280
00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:20,150
We were gonna go look
for a new dinette set.
281
00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:23,160
Come on.
282
00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:25,660
Don't give me that look,
it was your idea.
283
00:10:25,660 --> 00:10:29,660
Yeah, I know, but-- But we can
do that any night, can't we?
284
00:10:29,660 --> 00:10:32,170
So you'd rather go to
some club with Joe and Danny
285
00:10:32,170 --> 00:10:34,170
than go with me to pick out
a dinette set?
286
00:10:35,170 --> 00:10:37,170
Is that a trick question?
287
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,170
You know
what I mean.
288
00:10:39,670 --> 00:10:41,180
Look, forget it.
289
00:10:41,170 --> 00:10:42,180
You wanna go, go.
290
00:10:42,180 --> 00:10:43,180
Great, great, great.
291
00:10:43,180 --> 00:10:45,180
See, I told you I could go.
292
00:10:47,180 --> 00:10:49,680
Hey, Lambert.
293
00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:52,690
I'll help you pick out
a dinette set.
294
00:10:52,690 --> 00:10:55,690
Then we could mosey on down
to the mattress department
295
00:10:55,690 --> 00:10:57,690
and go for a test drive.
296
00:10:57,690 --> 00:11:01,700
Then right after that we could
stop by the cutlery department
297
00:11:01,700 --> 00:11:03,700
and I could slit
my wrists.
298
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:09,200
I can't believe Brian.
He actually went.
299
00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:13,710
And after you told him in no
uncertain terms that he could.
300
00:11:13,710 --> 00:11:16,210
Exactly. Why can't
men understand
301
00:11:16,210 --> 00:11:18,710
that "go" means "stay."
302
00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:20,210
Well, I'll tell ya,
if it were me,
303
00:11:20,210 --> 00:11:21,210
I would have never let him go.
304
00:11:21,210 --> 00:11:22,720
Especially after
what happened
305
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:25,720
last time "Donny" and "Ryan"
went to New York.
306
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:29,220
Chapter eight:
Broadway, Bound and Gagged.
307
00:11:29,220 --> 00:11:32,230
Ooh. I don't-- I don't
think I read that chapter
308
00:11:32,230 --> 00:11:34,730
Well, I don't wanna stop him
from going out with his friends,
309
00:11:34,730 --> 00:11:36,230
it just kinda hurt
that, you know,
310
00:11:36,230 --> 00:11:37,730
he wouldn't rather
be with me.
311
00:11:41,740 --> 00:11:43,240
Can you believe that
he went to New York?
312
00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,240
I mean, that Brian
is like a child.
313
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:48,240
What-- What he really
needs is a spanking.
314
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:50,740
Oh, so you did read
chapter eight.
315
00:12:10,260 --> 00:12:12,270
Mm... Hey.
316
00:12:12,270 --> 00:12:13,770
Baby, what are you doing
up so late, huh?
317
00:12:13,770 --> 00:12:15,270
It's 8:00 in the morning.
318
00:12:15,270 --> 00:12:17,770
Oh. What am I doing up so late?
319
00:12:17,770 --> 00:12:18,770
Good night.
320
00:12:18,770 --> 00:12:20,770
Brian, this
isn't funny.
321
00:12:20,770 --> 00:12:22,780
Where were you
all night?
322
00:12:22,780 --> 00:12:24,780
Oh, well, you know
where I was.
323
00:12:24,780 --> 00:12:25,780
I was in New York
with Joey and Danny.
324
00:12:25,780 --> 00:12:27,280
It was great.
325
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:30,280
You know,
you could have called.
326
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:31,280
( sighs )
327
00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:33,290
I know. I'm sorry.
328
00:12:33,290 --> 00:12:34,290
I should have called.
329
00:12:34,290 --> 00:12:36,790
I was up all night.
I was worried sick.
330
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:40,290
Ba-- I-I said
I was sorry, okay, Mom?
331
00:12:40,290 --> 00:12:41,290
"Mom"?
332
00:12:41,290 --> 00:12:42,800
( scoffs )
333
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:43,800
Alex, relax.
334
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,300
It's a little joke,
little joke.
335
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:46,800
Do we have to
do this now?
336
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,300
No, you're right. Let's not.
337
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:49,800
I'm gonna go to work,
I'm gonna cool off.
338
00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:50,800
We can talk
about this tonight.
339
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:52,310
Oh, tonight, tonight.
340
00:12:52,310 --> 00:12:54,310
Tonight's gonna be bad
because Joey and Danny
341
00:12:54,310 --> 00:12:55,310
were talking
about us--
342
00:12:55,310 --> 00:12:56,310
I don't believe this.
343
00:12:56,310 --> 00:12:58,310
Five nights in a row?
344
00:13:01,310 --> 00:13:02,820
Forget it.
345
00:13:02,820 --> 00:13:03,820
Alex...
346
00:13:03,820 --> 00:13:06,320
Baby, is there
something wrong?
347
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:13,330
Yes. I can't decide whether
to slap you or deck you.
348
00:13:13,330 --> 00:13:14,830
Oh, for God's sake.
349
00:13:14,830 --> 00:13:16,830
You know, I can't believe
you're getting this upset
350
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:17,830
over a dinette set.
351
00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:19,830
It's not about
the stupid dinette set.
352
00:13:19,830 --> 00:13:21,840
It was never about
a stupid dinette set.
353
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:23,840
All right, then, I do know
what this is about.
354
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:25,840
This is about, uh,
you being worried
355
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:27,840
because when I was
with Danny and Joey,
356
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:29,340
you thought I was
fooling around, huh?
357
00:13:29,340 --> 00:13:31,340
Actually, I wasn't
worried about that
358
00:13:31,340 --> 00:13:33,850
but since you brought
it up, were you?
359
00:13:33,850 --> 00:13:34,850
No.
360
00:13:34,850 --> 00:13:36,350
No.
361
00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:38,850
It's not like I didn't
have the chance to.
362
00:13:38,850 --> 00:13:40,350
Did you want to.
363
00:13:41,350 --> 00:13:43,860
I-- Did I--?
364
00:13:43,860 --> 00:13:46,360
It's a guy thing.
You know, guys--
365
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:49,360
Guys want to but I didn't
because I was,
366
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:51,360
you know, with you.
367
00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:54,370
Oh, you say the sweetest things.
368
00:13:55,370 --> 00:13:56,870
Ugh, look, if you're
done scolding me,
369
00:13:56,870 --> 00:13:58,870
I think I'll
get some sleep.
370
00:13:58,870 --> 00:14:01,880
Hey, what's
going on here?
371
00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:04,380
You wanna just go out and do
whatever the hell you wanna do
372
00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:06,380
and you want me to be here
for you when you get home?
373
00:14:06,380 --> 00:14:07,380
Alex. Alex.
374
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:08,380
Do you want to be
375
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:10,380
in this relationship
or don't you?
376
00:14:10,380 --> 00:14:11,380
( sighs )
377
00:14:12,390 --> 00:14:14,890
I see.
378
00:14:14,890 --> 00:14:18,390
Well, I'm gonna
go to work now.
379
00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:20,390
While I'm gone,
pack up your stuff
380
00:14:20,390 --> 00:14:22,400
and get the hell outta here.
381
00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:26,400
Okay, fine. Fine,
if that's what you want.
382
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:27,900
No, no.
383
00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:29,400
That's what you want.
384
00:14:32,910 --> 00:14:34,410
( door slams )
385
00:14:34,410 --> 00:14:35,410
( moans )
386
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:49,420
"As the trade winds blew
gently through her long,
387
00:14:49,420 --> 00:14:53,930
"honey-blond hair,
Ryan softly caressed her skin
388
00:14:53,930 --> 00:14:57,430
which was still moist
from their nude midnight swim."
389
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:58,930
( crying )
390
00:15:01,430 --> 00:15:03,940
It's no fair.
391
00:15:03,940 --> 00:15:06,940
Some men drink deep from
the fountain of life
392
00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:11,450
while Antonio takes one sip
and it goes down the wrong pipe.
393
00:15:14,950 --> 00:15:16,950
Boy, I sure am sorry
you're leaving.
394
00:15:16,950 --> 00:15:18,450
I was kinda getting
used to having
395
00:15:18,450 --> 00:15:20,450
my own Big Strong Man
around the house.
396
00:15:20,450 --> 00:15:21,450
Mm.
( chuckles )
397
00:15:21,450 --> 00:15:22,460
You get it?
398
00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:23,460
Oh, yeah, yeah.
399
00:15:23,460 --> 00:15:24,460
That's a great joke, partner.
400
00:15:24,460 --> 00:15:25,960
Fresh too.
401
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:26,960
Listen, I really
wanna pay you back
402
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,460
for that farewell lunch, huh?
403
00:15:29,460 --> 00:15:30,460
Ugh, another meal.
404
00:15:30,460 --> 00:15:33,970
Looks like Big Strong Man
has a big strong tapeworm.
405
00:15:35,470 --> 00:15:37,970
Yeah. I ca-- I can't
seem to find my wallet.
406
00:15:37,970 --> 00:15:39,470
Well, maybe I can
help you find it.
407
00:15:39,470 --> 00:15:40,470
What's it look like?
408
00:15:40,470 --> 00:15:41,470
My guess is brand new
409
00:15:41,470 --> 00:15:43,480
and never been opened.
410
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:44,480
Look, Lowell, wake up.
411
00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:46,480
This guy's a bum.
He is a loser.
412
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:47,980
He's bleedin' you dry.
413
00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:50,480
Hey, hang on
a second, Roy.
414
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:52,490
You can't talk
like that.
415
00:15:52,490 --> 00:15:54,990
You know, it's not easy
to be a superhero.
416
00:15:54,990 --> 00:15:57,490
In real life, you don't
have wires holding you up
417
00:15:57,490 --> 00:15:58,990
when you go flying.
418
00:15:58,990 --> 00:16:00,990
There's no pads
to soften the blow
419
00:16:00,990 --> 00:16:02,500
when the network
replaces you
420
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:05,500
with your trusty
sidekick Duckface.
421
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,000
I know he's not everything
that he used to be
422
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,010
but I still
owe this man a lot.
423
00:16:12,010 --> 00:16:15,010
I mean, ever afternoon at 3:30,
he was there for me,
424
00:16:15,010 --> 00:16:17,510
protecting my little world.
425
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:20,510
I salute you,
Big Strong Man.
426
00:16:22,020 --> 00:16:24,020
Thank you, Joel.
427
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:26,520
Enh.
428
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,020
Well, Big Strong Man's
gotta go.
429
00:16:29,020 --> 00:16:31,530
I gotta work a bachelor party
in Worcester.
430
00:16:32,530 --> 00:16:34,030
Eh, don't even ask.
431
00:16:35,530 --> 00:16:38,530
Here. You wanna sign this?
432
00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:39,530
What's this?
433
00:16:39,530 --> 00:16:41,030
Big Strong Thief
just paid for his ticket
434
00:16:41,030 --> 00:16:43,540
with your credit card.
435
00:16:43,540 --> 00:16:45,040
Really?
436
00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,040
Come back here,
you bastard!
437
00:16:53,050 --> 00:16:55,050
Good morning!
438
00:16:55,050 --> 00:16:56,050
Little hung over?
439
00:16:56,050 --> 00:16:57,550
Oh, please.
440
00:16:57,550 --> 00:16:59,050
( slams )
441
00:17:00,050 --> 00:17:01,050
Why are you doing this?
442
00:17:01,050 --> 00:17:05,060
Because you called me
at 3 a.m. in the morning
443
00:17:05,060 --> 00:17:07,560
demanding to know the name of
our 10th grade homeroom teacher.
444
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,060
I did not.
445
00:17:09,060 --> 00:17:10,560
Yes, you did. You were
convinced you saw her
446
00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,070
turning tricks in front
of the Chrysler building.
447
00:17:15,070 --> 00:17:16,070
Really?
448
00:17:16,070 --> 00:17:17,570
Oh, I'm sorry.
449
00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:21,070
Helen, I think I could
be sick at any moment.
450
00:17:21,070 --> 00:17:23,580
Oh, I know how you feel.
451
00:17:23,580 --> 00:17:25,080
I just finished your book.
452
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:31,080
Well, Danny, it just doesn't
get any better than this.
453
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,090
There they are!
454
00:17:33,090 --> 00:17:36,590
Hey, what are you
two maniacs up to, huh?
455
00:17:36,590 --> 00:17:37,590
Would you please
give it a rest?
456
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,590
Just go someplace
and let us die in peace.
457
00:17:39,590 --> 00:17:40,590
Amateurs. Amateurs.
458
00:17:40,590 --> 00:17:42,600
Hey, hey, we going back
to that club tonight?
459
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:43,600
Pass.
460
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:46,100
What? Come on,
what's with you guys?
461
00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:48,100
Actually, Brian, I'm taking off.
462
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:49,600
What?
463
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:51,600
I'm getting a little
too old for this.
464
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,110
Since when?
465
00:17:53,110 --> 00:17:56,110
Since about an hour ago when
I threw up that cocktail napkin.
466
00:17:58,610 --> 00:18:00,110
Where is all this
coming from?
467
00:18:00,110 --> 00:18:02,120
You.
468
00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:04,620
I mean, last night
when we were at that party
469
00:18:04,620 --> 00:18:06,620
and I was hitting on every
beautiful woman in the room,
470
00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:09,120
suddenly I looked over and I--
I envied you.
471
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:11,630
Envied me? Why?
472
00:18:11,620 --> 00:18:13,630
Because no matter
who I go home with,
473
00:18:13,630 --> 00:18:15,130
you get to go home to Alex,
474
00:18:15,130 --> 00:18:16,630
somebody who
really cares for you.
475
00:18:16,630 --> 00:18:18,630
Ugh. I don't believe this.
476
00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:22,140
In fact, it started me thinking
about my own relationship
477
00:18:22,140 --> 00:18:25,640
and, who knows, if I put
a little effort into it...
478
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:28,140
maybe it could turn into
something really serious.
479
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:31,650
Oh, Joe, Joe.
480
00:18:33,650 --> 00:18:35,150
I got this phone
number last night.
481
00:18:35,150 --> 00:18:37,150
She's blond, she's beautiful,
she's yours.
482
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:40,650
Uh, well, unless it's the local
Maalox rep, I'm not interested.
483
00:18:41,650 --> 00:18:44,660
Well, take it easy, "Donny."
484
00:18:44,660 --> 00:18:46,160
See ya, "Ryan."
485
00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:49,660
Nice to finally
meet you, Joe.
486
00:18:49,660 --> 00:18:50,660
You too, Danny.
487
00:18:50,660 --> 00:18:51,660
A little tip for ya:
488
00:18:51,660 --> 00:18:55,170
Scotch and Kahlúa,
not a real drink.
489
00:19:02,180 --> 00:19:03,180
Hey, come on.
We don't need him.
490
00:19:03,180 --> 00:19:05,180
What do you say, you and me
we go out tonight, huh?
491
00:19:05,180 --> 00:19:06,180
Oh, man. Forget it.
492
00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:07,680
Look, just go home and have
493
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,680
a nice quiet
evening with Alex.
494
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:11,180
Well, what about this number?
495
00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:12,190
"Marcy"?
496
00:19:12,190 --> 00:19:13,190
Ugh, you kidding me?
497
00:19:13,190 --> 00:19:16,190
I am so sick right now,
I can barely walk.
498
00:19:16,190 --> 00:19:18,190
Besides, I gotta
take a flight.
499
00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:28,200
People are always saying:
500
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,200
"Oh, Marcy, anyone
can do electrolysis."
501
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,210
But that's not true.
502
00:19:33,210 --> 00:19:34,710
There's a science
to hair removal.
503
00:19:34,710 --> 00:19:35,710
BRIAN:
Oh, my God.
504
00:19:35,710 --> 00:19:39,210
I just made the biggest mistake
of my entire life.
505
00:19:39,210 --> 00:19:41,210
If you don't grip the hair
close to the follicle,
506
00:19:41,210 --> 00:19:45,720
then the charge won't deaden
the root and it'll grow back.
507
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:48,220
Dear, God, help me.
508
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:50,220
( Marcy talking indistinctly )
509
00:19:56,230 --> 00:19:57,230
( doorbell rings )
510
00:19:59,230 --> 00:20:00,230
( knock on door )
511
00:20:00,230 --> 00:20:01,740
BRIAN:
Alex?
512
00:20:01,730 --> 00:20:03,240
Baby, wake up,
it's me.
513
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:04,240
( knocking continues )
514
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:05,240
( doorbell rings )
515
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:06,740
Hey, Alex.
516
00:20:11,740 --> 00:20:12,750
Hi.
517
00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:13,750
What is it?
518
00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:15,250
Oh, I didn't mean
to wake you up,
519
00:20:15,250 --> 00:20:17,250
uh, my key wouldn't work.
520
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:19,250
I had the locks changed.
521
00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:20,750
Oh, well, okay.
That's fine.
522
00:20:20,750 --> 00:20:22,760
Understand. Understand that.
523
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,760
Listen, uh...
524
00:20:25,260 --> 00:20:27,260
Is that my baseball trophy?
525
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:29,260
It looks like
it was sawn in half.
526
00:20:29,260 --> 00:20:31,260
Oh, right.
527
00:20:31,260 --> 00:20:33,270
I must have dropped it.
528
00:20:33,270 --> 00:20:34,770
Look, Brian--
No, no, no, no, no.
529
00:20:34,770 --> 00:20:36,770
Please, uh, let me speak.
530
00:20:36,770 --> 00:20:40,270
Uh, Alex, baby, I...
531
00:20:40,270 --> 00:20:42,280
I screwed up big time.
532
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:43,280
I really did.
533
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:44,780
I-I'm an idiot.
534
00:20:44,780 --> 00:20:47,280
It's just that Danny
came to town
535
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,780
and I just got caught up
in him, you know?
536
00:20:49,780 --> 00:20:51,780
I-I never should have
treated you like that.
537
00:20:51,780 --> 00:20:54,790
And-- And you gotta believe me,
I don't wanna see anybody else.
538
00:20:54,790 --> 00:20:56,290
Ever.
539
00:20:56,790 --> 00:20:58,290
Come on.
540
00:20:58,290 --> 00:21:00,790
Come on, I know you.
541
00:21:00,790 --> 00:21:03,800
You hate just as much as I do
that we're apart, don't you?
542
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:05,300
Yes.
543
00:21:05,300 --> 00:21:06,800
We were happy together.
544
00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,300
I mean, we were really,
really happy, right?
545
00:21:09,300 --> 00:21:11,300
Yes.
Well...
546
00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:14,810
We don't wanna
lose that, do we?
547
00:21:14,810 --> 00:21:17,310
Brian, you're right,
we were great together.
548
00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:20,310
Great. We are,
we are, we are.
549
00:21:20,310 --> 00:21:24,320
So why don't we just try
to forget what happened
550
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:28,320
and, uh, get back together,
what do you say?
551
00:21:31,820 --> 00:21:33,330
No.
552
00:21:37,830 --> 00:21:39,330
( sighs )
553
00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:52,350
( upbeat piano theme playing )
38910
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