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1
00:00:01,840 --> 00:00:02,840
( upbeat piano theme playing )
2
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:07,840
Scarpacci,
3
00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:08,840
what the hell's
the matter with you?
4
00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:10,350
You're as white as a ghost.
5
00:00:10,340 --> 00:00:13,350
Ah. I almost had
a head-on collision.
6
00:00:13,350 --> 00:00:15,350
Uh, in fact,
I'm still a little shaken.
7
00:00:15,350 --> 00:00:16,850
Aw.
8
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:17,850
That's terrible.
9
00:00:19,850 --> 00:00:20,860
Say, uh,
10
00:00:20,860 --> 00:00:23,360
do you have two 10s for a 20?
11
00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:24,860
Huh?
12
00:00:24,860 --> 00:00:27,360
Oh, uh, yeah, yeah.
Sure, sure.
13
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:28,360
I was, uh--
14
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,360
I was right near
the post office, you know.
15
00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:34,870
This truck,
it just sweved into my lane.
16
00:00:34,870 --> 00:00:37,370
My God,
you could've been killed.
17
00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,370
Uh, my change?
18
00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:42,380
Oh. Oh.
19
00:00:42,380 --> 00:00:43,880
Sorry.
20
00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:45,380
So, anyway,
21
00:00:45,380 --> 00:00:49,380
the last second, you know,
I-I just turn out of the way
22
00:00:49,380 --> 00:00:50,890
we missed each other
by this much.
23
00:00:50,890 --> 00:00:52,390
I thought I was going to die.
24
00:00:52,390 --> 00:00:53,890
You poor guy.
25
00:00:53,890 --> 00:00:54,890
Are you sure you're okay?
26
00:00:54,890 --> 00:00:55,890
Ah-h-h.
27
00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:58,890
My-- My-- My change, remember?
28
00:01:00,390 --> 00:01:03,900
Oh, I am sorry, Roy.
29
00:01:03,900 --> 00:01:04,900
Where is my head?
30
00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:09,400
Ah, well, I'll--
31
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:12,410
I'm feeling a little better.
32
00:01:12,410 --> 00:01:13,410
Thanks-- Thanks for listening.
33
00:01:13,410 --> 00:01:15,410
Hey, what are friends for?
34
00:01:15,410 --> 00:01:16,910
Hey, Scarpacci.
35
00:01:19,910 --> 00:01:21,420
Drive carefully.
36
00:01:22,420 --> 00:01:23,920
( upbeat piano theme playing )
37
00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:25,920
( snickers )
38
00:01:31,430 --> 00:01:32,930
I know they're your friends,
39
00:01:32,930 --> 00:01:34,930
but I cannot spend
another evening
40
00:01:34,930 --> 00:01:36,430
with Bob and Sally Crandle.
41
00:01:36,430 --> 00:01:37,930
I know, I know, I know, I know.
42
00:01:37,930 --> 00:01:39,430
He was such a nice guy
in high school,
43
00:01:39,430 --> 00:01:41,940
who knew he'd grow up
to be so obsessed with Elvis.
44
00:01:41,940 --> 00:01:43,940
And that wife of his.
45
00:01:43,940 --> 00:01:45,440
Naming their apartment
"Graceland."
46
00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:46,940
Yeah.
47
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:47,940
Hey, you're right.
You're right.
48
00:01:47,940 --> 00:01:49,440
They're awful people.
49
00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:50,950
I'll cancel.
I'll just cancel it.
50
00:01:50,950 --> 00:01:53,450
All right, everybody, listen up,
51
00:01:53,450 --> 00:01:56,450
I have a very exciting
opportunity
52
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,950
for one very lucky person.
53
00:01:57,950 --> 00:01:58,950
Cochran, give it up.
54
00:01:58,950 --> 00:02:00,460
Nobody wants
to be the safety warden.
55
00:02:00,450 --> 00:02:02,960
Oh, well, I'm not going to get
stuck doing it for another year,
56
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:06,460
I am officially turning in
my hat, vest, and whistle.
57
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,460
Yeah, Roy. Roy. I think you
should do it this year.
58
00:02:08,460 --> 00:02:09,460
Okay.
59
00:02:09,460 --> 00:02:10,970
But you really want me
to be in charge
60
00:02:10,970 --> 00:02:12,470
of whether you all live or die?
61
00:02:14,470 --> 00:02:15,470
Good point.
62
00:02:15,470 --> 00:02:16,470
Antonio, how about you?
63
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,470
No, heh, I, uh,
I would love to,
64
00:02:18,470 --> 00:02:19,470
but you should know,
65
00:02:19,470 --> 00:02:23,480
I come from a long line
of cowards, you know.
66
00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:26,480
My great uncle Bruno
was on the Titanic,
67
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,480
and two seconds
after it hit the iceberg,
68
00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:30,990
he was seen running
for the lifeboats
69
00:02:30,990 --> 00:02:32,490
in high heels
and a cocktail dress.
70
00:02:35,490 --> 00:02:36,990
You must be very proud of him.
71
00:02:38,490 --> 00:02:41,500
Well, Brian, you seem to be
volunteering everybody else.
72
00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:42,500
How about you?
73
00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:44,000
Oh, me--? No, no.
74
00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,500
Come on. No, you know,
I would like to do it.
75
00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:48,000
I really would like to do it,
but I got this thing,
76
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:50,510
you know, I got this post--
Nasal thing, and-- And--
77
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:53,010
If I want to blow a whistle
someone could get hurt.
78
00:02:55,510 --> 00:02:57,510
Well, who am I going
to get to do this--
79
00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:58,510
( gasps )
80
00:02:58,510 --> 00:03:01,520
Oh, Lowell.
81
00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:04,020
We've all been talking
and we decided that you,
82
00:03:04,020 --> 00:03:05,520
more than anyone else,
83
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,020
are the perfect person
to be the new safety warden.
84
00:03:08,020 --> 00:03:09,520
Gu-- Me?
85
00:03:11,530 --> 00:03:12,530
Are you kidding?
86
00:03:12,530 --> 00:03:14,530
Aw, I don't believe it.
87
00:03:14,530 --> 00:03:17,030
After-- After all these years
of hoping and dreaming
88
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,030
and finally.
Man.
89
00:03:19,030 --> 00:03:22,540
Finally I achieve
the unattainable hardhat
90
00:03:22,540 --> 00:03:24,040
and orange vest.
91
00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:25,540
Wow.
92
00:03:25,540 --> 00:03:26,540
Thanks.
93
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,540
Yeah, don't forget the whistle.
94
00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:30,040
God, the whistle too.
95
00:03:31,550 --> 00:03:34,550
Listen,
I promise to do a great job.
96
00:03:34,550 --> 00:03:38,050
Man, I can certainly do a better
job than whoever was last year's
97
00:03:38,050 --> 00:03:40,560
incompetant slack-ass
safety warden.
98
00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:43,060
Yeah, that would be me.
99
00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:48,060
Well, I know you're hurting
right now Fay,
100
00:03:48,060 --> 00:03:49,560
just let it go.
101
00:03:53,570 --> 00:03:54,570
( Alex whistles )
102
00:03:54,570 --> 00:03:57,070
ALEX:
Helen, you look gorgeous.
103
00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:59,070
Helen, what a beautiful outfit.
104
00:03:59,070 --> 00:04:00,070
Thank you.
105
00:04:00,070 --> 00:04:02,080
I'm going to New York
this weekend to see Davis,
106
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:03,580
and I've pulled out
all the stops.
107
00:04:03,580 --> 00:04:06,080
Chapel, that outfit
looks terrific.
108
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:09,580
The fabric, the lines...
109
00:04:09,580 --> 00:04:11,090
Looks like it was made for you.
110
00:04:11,090 --> 00:04:12,090
Wanna get your hand off my butt,
Roy?
111
00:04:14,590 --> 00:04:15,590
It was worth a shot.
112
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,090
JOE:
Good afternoon, everyone.
113
00:04:18,090 --> 00:04:21,600
Wow, oh, Helen, woo.
Let me look at you.
114
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:23,100
Oh, you look terrific.
Thank you.
115
00:04:23,100 --> 00:04:24,600
I bought it for my trip
to New York.
116
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,100
( sighs )
117
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,600
You're gonna waste this outfit
on Lynch?
118
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,600
I sure don't remember you
dressing like this
119
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:30,600
when we were dating.
120
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:34,110
Joe, Davis is taking me
to the Rainbow Room.
121
00:04:34,110 --> 00:04:36,610
When we dated you took me
to Yankee Doodle Donuts.
122
00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:40,110
Yeah, I still remember ordering
for you,
123
00:04:40,110 --> 00:04:42,120
"the lady will have
bin number three."
124
00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:51,130
Well, listen,
you are not the only person
125
00:04:51,130 --> 00:04:52,630
that has plans for tonight.
126
00:04:52,630 --> 00:04:54,130
I'll have you know
I'm going to Chavalier's
127
00:04:54,130 --> 00:04:58,130
with a beautiful young woman
named Joy.
128
00:04:58,130 --> 00:04:59,130
Joe?
Oh, glad I caught you.
129
00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:00,130
Hi, Sandra, how are you?
130
00:05:00,130 --> 00:05:02,140
Oh, fine. Fine.
I just need to know,
131
00:05:02,140 --> 00:05:04,140
is it okay if we postpone
our date till 8:30?
132
00:05:04,140 --> 00:05:06,140
I just found out
I have to work late tonight.
133
00:05:06,140 --> 00:05:07,640
Tonight?
134
00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:11,150
Uh, um, yeah, no.
Yeah, 8:30's fine, yeah,
135
00:05:11,150 --> 00:05:13,150
but, look, if tonight isn't good
we can do it some other time.
136
00:05:13,150 --> 00:05:14,650
Oh, are you kidding?
137
00:05:14,650 --> 00:05:16,150
I've been looking forward
to this all week.
138
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,650
Great. I'll see you later.
139
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,160
Aw, well, well, well.
140
00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,160
Sandra and Joy,
two dates in one night.
141
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,160
This is not a problem.
142
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,660
It's really no problem at all.
143
00:05:28,660 --> 00:05:31,170
You know, just a little minor
scheduling conflict,
144
00:05:31,170 --> 00:05:32,670
little glitch,
happens all the time.
145
00:05:32,670 --> 00:05:34,170
You're screwed, aren't ya.
Yeah, big time.
146
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,170
I can't believe what I just did.
147
00:05:39,170 --> 00:05:43,180
Ah, got roped into
being safety warden, did ya?
148
00:05:43,180 --> 00:05:44,680
Well, here's a hint:
149
00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:46,180
Just do what I did
when I had the job.
150
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,180
You were safety warden?
151
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,680
See?
152
00:05:51,690 --> 00:05:53,190
It's not that.
153
00:05:53,190 --> 00:05:54,190
Do you, uh,
154
00:05:54,190 --> 00:05:56,190
remember Joy?
155
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:59,690
Joy the-- Joy the flight
attendant from United?
156
00:05:59,690 --> 00:06:00,690
Yeah. Yes, well,
157
00:06:00,690 --> 00:06:03,200
I finally got a date
with her for tonight
158
00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:06,700
and I completely forgot
that I made a date with Sandra.
159
00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,700
Wait, you got a date with Joy?
160
00:06:09,700 --> 00:06:14,710
Joy? The one with the incredibly
tight little--
161
00:06:14,710 --> 00:06:17,710
But that's not the point, Joe.
That's not the point.
162
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,710
Those FA reports
have to be signed regularly--
163
00:06:20,710 --> 00:06:21,720
Oh, hey.
164
00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:23,220
You thought I was Alex,
didn't you.
165
00:06:23,220 --> 00:06:26,220
Oh, no.
I was just--
No.
166
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,220
Save it.
167
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,720
You know why?
With every passing year
168
00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:32,730
this little routine of yours
gets less and less cute.
169
00:06:34,730 --> 00:06:36,230
What are you doing?
170
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,230
I gotta call Joy and cancel.
171
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:39,230
I mean, I did make the date
with Sandra first.
172
00:06:39,230 --> 00:06:40,230
All right, can I just--
173
00:06:40,230 --> 00:06:41,240
Can I say something to you?
174
00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:43,240
And please do not take offense.
175
00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:44,740
All right, go ahead.
Okay.
176
00:06:44,740 --> 00:06:47,240
You disgust me.
177
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:49,240
You could always
178
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,250
make a date with Sandra, okay?
179
00:06:51,250 --> 00:06:53,750
Just make up a little excuse,
you know, say you're--
180
00:06:53,750 --> 00:06:56,250
You're "feeling under
the weather." Okay?
181
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:57,750
Uh, your "aunt died."
182
00:06:57,750 --> 00:07:00,250
If all else fails
there's the ever-popular
183
00:07:00,250 --> 00:07:02,760
"I lost my hand
in a freak combine accident.
184
00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:04,260
Can I see you tomorrow?"
185
00:07:04,260 --> 00:07:05,260
No, see, Brian,
186
00:07:05,260 --> 00:07:06,760
that is the difference
between us.
187
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,260
I am not the kind of guy
that would dump Sandra
188
00:07:09,260 --> 00:07:11,770
just to go out with the most
beautiful girl I've--
189
00:07:11,770 --> 00:07:13,770
What was that second excuse
again?
190
00:07:13,770 --> 00:07:14,770
Dead aunt.
191
00:07:14,770 --> 00:07:15,770
Yeah, I think I can sell that.
192
00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:17,270
( latch clicks )
193
00:07:17,270 --> 00:07:18,270
( whistle blows )
194
00:07:24,780 --> 00:07:26,280
All right.
195
00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:29,280
Surprise safety inspection,
everybody freeze.
196
00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:30,790
Not right now, okay, Lowell?
197
00:07:30,780 --> 00:07:32,290
That's a nice vest, man.
198
00:07:32,290 --> 00:07:32,790
Thanks.
199
00:07:34,290 --> 00:07:36,790
All right,
everything seems to be in ord--
200
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,790
Wait a second.
What's this?
201
00:07:38,790 --> 00:07:40,290
Oh, that's, uh--
202
00:07:40,290 --> 00:07:43,300
Joe, Joe, the box is ticking.
This could be a bomb!
203
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,300
( glass shatters )
204
00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:49,300
Or it could be
the antique clock
205
00:07:49,300 --> 00:07:50,810
I was sending to get repaired.
206
00:07:54,310 --> 00:07:57,810
Well, look at it this way,
I saved you postage,
207
00:07:59,810 --> 00:08:04,320
'cause, uh, ain't nobody
gonna fix it now.
208
00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:05,320
( upbeat piano theme playing )
209
00:08:10,820 --> 00:08:12,330
Announcing the departure
210
00:08:12,330 --> 00:08:15,330
of Aeromass flight 23
to New York.
211
00:08:15,330 --> 00:08:16,830
At this we will begin
pre-boarding passengers
212
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:22,340
who need assistance, and those
going to New York to have sex.
213
00:08:24,340 --> 00:08:24,840
See ya.
214
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,840
Um, I need assistance.
215
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:29,840
Yeah.
216
00:08:31,850 --> 00:08:33,350
( rings )
217
00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:37,350
Hello?
218
00:08:38,350 --> 00:08:39,850
Uh, Helen.
219
00:08:39,850 --> 00:08:40,850
Helen,
220
00:08:40,850 --> 00:08:43,360
it's Davis Lynch's secretary.
221
00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:45,860
Uh-oh.
222
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:49,860
Gee, Helen, I hope he's not
calling to cancel.
223
00:08:49,860 --> 00:08:50,860
Oh, no, I don't think so.
224
00:08:50,860 --> 00:08:52,370
I think he's calling to see
225
00:08:52,370 --> 00:08:54,370
exactly what time I get there
so he can send a limo.
226
00:08:54,370 --> 00:08:55,370
He does that, you know.
227
00:08:55,370 --> 00:08:56,370
( giggles )
228
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,370
Hello.
229
00:08:58,370 --> 00:08:59,870
Uh-huh.
230
00:09:00,870 --> 00:09:01,880
Uh-huh.
231
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,380
Absolutely.
232
00:09:04,380 --> 00:09:06,380
Okay.
I understand.
233
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:07,880
Buh-bye.
234
00:09:14,390 --> 00:09:15,890
Cancelled?
235
00:09:15,890 --> 00:09:17,890
Uh, yeah, he had a very
important business meeting.
236
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,400
I know what you're all thinking,
237
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:26,400
and I'm sure he's every bit
as disappointed as I am.
238
00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:27,400
After all,
it's not like we didn't
239
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,900
see each other last weekend.
240
00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:30,400
You didn't.
He cancelled that too.
241
00:09:32,410 --> 00:09:33,410
( sobbing )
I know.
242
00:09:34,910 --> 00:09:35,910
ROY:
We will now begin
243
00:09:35,910 --> 00:09:38,410
regular boarding of flight 23
244
00:09:38,410 --> 00:09:40,920
for those passengers who still
have someone in New York
245
00:09:40,910 --> 00:09:42,420
who might actually
want to see them.
246
00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:44,420
( sobbing )
247
00:09:44,420 --> 00:09:45,920
( piano theme playing )
248
00:09:48,420 --> 00:09:49,920
( upbeat piano theme playing )
249
00:09:53,430 --> 00:09:54,430
Helen, are you okay?
250
00:09:54,430 --> 00:09:56,930
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I don't know what came over me.
251
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,430
I do and I'll give you a tip.
252
00:09:58,430 --> 00:10:00,940
Try estrogen, it worked for mom.
253
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:03,940
Roy, that's disgusting.
254
00:10:03,940 --> 00:10:06,440
So's a beard
on an 85-year-old woman.
255
00:10:08,940 --> 00:10:11,450
It's this stupid
long-distance relationship.
256
00:10:11,450 --> 00:10:12,950
I just didn't know
how hard it would be.
257
00:10:12,950 --> 00:10:14,450
Oh, Chapel, face it.
258
00:10:14,450 --> 00:10:16,950
That guy's using you like
a doormat and you're taking it.
259
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,450
Well, what's she supposed to do?
260
00:10:18,450 --> 00:10:20,450
You know what I do when I have
a problem with a woman?
261
00:10:20,450 --> 00:10:21,460
Deflate her?
262
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,960
No, no, I read her the Riot Act.
263
00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:32,970
I lay it on the line and that's
what you ought to do, Chapel.
264
00:10:34,970 --> 00:10:36,970
I hate to agree with Roy,
265
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,470
you have no idea how much,
266
00:10:39,470 --> 00:10:42,980
but I think Davis is kind
of taking you for granted.
267
00:10:42,980 --> 00:10:44,480
ANTONIO:
Now, now, now, I-I--
268
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,480
I don't--
I don't think that's fair.
269
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:47,480
I mean, you know, she--
270
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,480
She hasn't really heard
his side of the story.
271
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:52,990
That is such
a typically male response.
272
00:10:52,990 --> 00:10:53,990
Thank you.
273
00:10:55,490 --> 00:10:58,490
Men are so self-centered.
274
00:10:58,490 --> 00:10:59,990
Ain't that the truth.
275
00:10:59,990 --> 00:11:01,500
They think the whole world
revolves around them.
276
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,000
Their business, their schedule--
277
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:06,000
Their base animal urges.
278
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,000
If memory serves.
279
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,510
No, he--
He does only think of himself.
280
00:11:13,510 --> 00:11:15,510
You really think
all men are like that?
281
00:11:15,510 --> 00:11:17,010
Oh, come on.
282
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,010
They say they've learned
something since the '70s--
283
00:11:19,010 --> 00:11:21,520
But they'll say anything to get
you into the backseat of a car.
284
00:11:25,020 --> 00:11:26,520
As I recall.
285
00:11:28,020 --> 00:11:31,530
Well, this really
is quite an education.
286
00:11:31,530 --> 00:11:33,030
You know, Alex, you're right.
287
00:11:33,030 --> 00:11:34,530
Davis thinks he can
just apologize
288
00:11:34,530 --> 00:11:36,030
and everything's
going to be okay?
289
00:11:36,030 --> 00:11:38,030
They're all just little boys
290
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:40,030
looking to see
what they can get away with.
291
00:11:40,030 --> 00:11:41,540
Hey, baby, I went ahead
and made reservations
292
00:11:41,540 --> 00:11:43,040
for us to go out tonight.
293
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:44,540
Oh, sure, sure.
294
00:11:44,540 --> 00:11:45,540
You just make
a decision like that
295
00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:48,040
and you don't even consult her.
296
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,040
Men.
You're all pigs.
297
00:11:54,550 --> 00:11:56,550
What's with her?
298
00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:59,550
Look, about tonight,
I mean, any place is fine,
299
00:11:59,550 --> 00:12:01,560
just as long as it's not
with the Crandles.
300
00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:03,060
Baby, don't worry,
the Crandles are history.
301
00:12:03,060 --> 00:12:04,060
Okay?
302
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:07,560
Alex, you're right.
303
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,060
Know what, I've had it!
304
00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:11,570
That's the last time
he's going to stand me up.
305
00:12:11,570 --> 00:12:12,570
What are you going to do?
306
00:12:12,570 --> 00:12:13,570
Get him on the phone.
307
00:12:13,570 --> 00:12:15,570
Tell him just exactly
how I feel.
308
00:12:15,570 --> 00:12:18,070
Good for you.
Hello, Helen Chapel.
309
00:12:18,070 --> 00:12:21,070
I'd like to speak
to Davis Lynch, please.
310
00:12:21,070 --> 00:12:24,080
Well, see, I don't care
if he's in a meeting.
311
00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:27,580
Fine.
Then I'll leave him a message.
312
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:31,590
You tell him that I am tired
of him taking me for granted,
313
00:12:31,590 --> 00:12:33,090
and as far as I'm concerned,
314
00:12:33,090 --> 00:12:36,090
he can take his precious
business and shove it.
315
00:12:36,090 --> 00:12:37,590
Way to go, Helen!
Woo!
316
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:40,090
Feel good.
Feeling good.
317
00:12:40,090 --> 00:12:42,100
Yeah.
Yeah.
318
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:46,600
Now what.
319
00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:50,100
Well, you're available,
you look great, go out.
320
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:51,610
All right, let's go.
Where we gonna go?
321
00:12:51,610 --> 00:12:53,110
Not with me, I have a man.
322
00:12:56,110 --> 00:12:57,110
So what am I supposed to do,
323
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,110
just wait for the next
available guy to walk up?
324
00:12:59,110 --> 00:13:00,110
Yeah, why not?
325
00:13:00,110 --> 00:13:04,120
No way.
What about Roy's new pilot Jeff?
326
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:06,120
He's been asking you out
ever since he got here.
327
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,620
Jeff is everything
you look for in a man.
328
00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:10,620
He's nice, he's cute,
and he's here.
329
00:13:14,630 --> 00:13:16,630
You're right.
330
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:18,130
All right, you know what?
I'm going to do this.
331
00:13:20,130 --> 00:13:22,140
Listen, Helen, if it's not
too late, I was wondering--
332
00:13:22,140 --> 00:13:23,140
Absolutely.
333
00:13:23,140 --> 00:13:24,640
I think it's a terrific idea.
334
00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:26,640
Great, uh,
then I'll have a cheeseburger.
335
00:13:31,140 --> 00:13:32,150
Um, I'm really embarrased,
336
00:13:32,150 --> 00:13:34,650
I thought you were going
to ask me out.
337
00:13:34,650 --> 00:13:37,650
Oh, well, you've turned me down
so many times I stopped trying.
338
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,150
Well, try again.
339
00:13:39,150 --> 00:13:40,650
Okay.
Helen, would you li--
340
00:13:40,650 --> 00:13:42,160
I'd love to.
Great, I'll pick you up--
341
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:43,160
Let's go now.
Or we can go now.
342
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,160
( upbeat piano theme playing )
343
00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:51,160
( footsteps approaching )
344
00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,670
Oh, thank God.
Hackett, I'm glad you're here.
345
00:13:53,670 --> 00:13:54,670
Listen--
Lynch.
346
00:13:54,670 --> 00:13:55,670
Flowers? You shouldn't have.
347
00:13:55,670 --> 00:13:57,170
Just you being here is enough.
348
00:13:58,670 --> 00:14:02,680
Listen, Joe, little advice:
now and then get off the island.
349
00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:04,680
Ha-ha-ha, look. I'd love
to stay here and gab with you,
350
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:06,180
but I'm kind of busy.
Did you want something?
351
00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:08,180
Yeah, I came here to find Helen,
352
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:09,180
but she's not at the counter,
353
00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:10,680
she isn't answering
her telephone,
354
00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:12,190
do you have any idea
where she could be?
355
00:14:12,190 --> 00:14:14,190
I thought she was going
to New York to see you.
356
00:14:14,190 --> 00:14:17,690
Well, she was, but I had this
deal blow up so I had to cancel.
357
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:20,690
You put business before Helen?
That's just not like you.
358
00:14:20,690 --> 00:14:24,200
Look, if you could put your
rapier-like wit on hold
359
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,200
for just a second,
I need some help.
360
00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:27,200
All right, look.
You know,
361
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,200
from some inconceivable reason,
362
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,200
Helen really looks forward
363
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:31,710
to these little
weekends together,
364
00:14:31,710 --> 00:14:33,710
and every time you cancel
it breaks her heart.
365
00:14:33,710 --> 00:14:35,710
I know that,
that's why I'm here.
366
00:14:35,710 --> 00:14:38,210
Look, Joe, you know Helen
better than anybody.
367
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:40,210
How can I make this up to her?
368
00:14:40,210 --> 00:14:42,220
Well, to begin with,
369
00:14:42,220 --> 00:14:44,220
you're not going to be able
to con her with flowers,
370
00:14:44,220 --> 00:14:45,720
she's going to see
right through that.
371
00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:47,220
Oh, thanks.
372
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:48,720
No, thank you, since you
won't be needing these,
373
00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:50,720
I'm going to take them
on my date.
374
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:53,230
Uh, I'm taking off now, Joe.
375
00:14:53,230 --> 00:14:54,730
Oh, okay, Fay,
have a nice evening.
Thanks.
376
00:14:54,730 --> 00:14:56,730
Night, Davis.
Oh, and Joe.
Night.
377
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,230
A woman named Joy just called,
378
00:14:58,230 --> 00:15:00,230
she had to cancel
your date for tonight.
379
00:15:00,230 --> 00:15:02,740
What, just like that?
Yes.
380
00:15:02,740 --> 00:15:05,240
Oh, it's very sad.
Apparently her aunt died.
381
00:15:10,740 --> 00:15:11,750
Oh, this sucks.
382
00:15:11,750 --> 00:15:13,750
What am I going to do now?
383
00:15:13,750 --> 00:15:16,750
Well, I could still really
use some advice about Helen,
384
00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:20,250
you want to go get a drink
or something?
With you?
385
00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:22,760
Come on, I brought you flowers,
it's the least you can do.
386
00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,260
My treat.
387
00:15:25,260 --> 00:15:28,260
Wow.
What do you know, I'm easy.
388
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:29,760
( upbeat piano theme playing )
389
00:15:34,770 --> 00:15:35,770
( upbeat piano theme playing )
390
00:15:41,270 --> 00:15:42,280
Oh, wow.
391
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:44,280
This really is great scotch.
392
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,780
This must be, like, what,
20 bucks a bottle?
393
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:48,780
Try 20 bucks a shot.
394
00:15:48,780 --> 00:15:51,790
You know, if things don't work
out with Helen, I'll date you.
395
00:15:53,290 --> 00:15:56,790
Well, Joe, I gave you flowers,
bought you dinner and drinks,
396
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,290
technically you are dating me.
397
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:03,300
After all this time
398
00:16:03,300 --> 00:16:05,300
what made you finally
want to go out with me?
399
00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:06,800
Is it my new haircut?
400
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,800
Trying something different
with the part.
401
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,300
Sure, why not.
402
00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:12,310
Oh, my earring.
403
00:16:12,310 --> 00:16:13,310
I'll get it.
404
00:16:13,310 --> 00:16:14,810
( sighs )
405
00:16:14,810 --> 00:16:16,310
I'll get us another round.
406
00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:17,810
Right.
407
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,810
Oh, is this what
you're looking for?
408
00:16:20,810 --> 00:16:22,320
Oh, thanks.
It's my date's.
409
00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:24,320
Here you go.
410
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:25,320
Oh, thanks.
411
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:27,820
Joe.
412
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,320
Helen, what are you doing here?
413
00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:30,820
I've got a date,
who are you here with?
414
00:16:30,820 --> 00:16:31,830
( scoffs )
415
00:16:31,830 --> 00:16:33,330
You're not going
to believe this,
416
00:16:33,330 --> 00:16:34,330
I'm here with Davis Lynch.
417
00:16:35,330 --> 00:16:36,830
Very funny, Joe.
418
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:38,330
If you don't want to tell me
who you're with--
419
00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:40,830
If you don't believe me,
just look right over there.
420
00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,340
Oh, my God!
It's Davis Lynch!
421
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:48,340
What'd you lose now?
422
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:49,840
Uh, my other earring.
423
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:51,350
Oh, you want me to help you?
424
00:16:51,340 --> 00:16:53,350
No, um, why don't
you go get us some drinks?
425
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:58,850
What is Davis doing here?
426
00:16:58,850 --> 00:17:01,360
Well, he felt really bad
about cancelling on you,
427
00:17:01,350 --> 00:17:02,360
he came here to apologize.
428
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:03,360
I can't let him see
I'm on a date,
429
00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:04,360
help me get out of here.
430
00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:05,860
Helen,
would you look at yourself?
431
00:17:05,860 --> 00:17:07,860
You're crawling around
on the floor like a dog.
432
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:08,860
Where's your self-respect?
433
00:17:10,360 --> 00:17:11,870
Oh, my God, it's Sandra.
434
00:17:13,870 --> 00:17:15,870
Move over.
Move over.
435
00:17:19,370 --> 00:17:20,870
Why are we hiding from Sandra?
436
00:17:20,870 --> 00:17:24,380
Well, because I dumped her
with Brian's dead aunt excuse.
437
00:17:24,380 --> 00:17:26,380
What were you saying
about self-respect?
438
00:17:26,380 --> 00:17:27,380
Look, just get off my hand.
439
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:28,380
I'm sorry.
440
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,380
We can't let Sandra see me.
441
00:17:30,380 --> 00:17:31,890
You're on your own
because I'm out of here.
442
00:17:41,390 --> 00:17:42,900
Still looking for that earring?
443
00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:43,900
Oh, found it.
444
00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:44,900
Great. I got us Champagne.
445
00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:46,400
Oh, good. Let's get out of here.
446
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:47,900
It's really expensive Champagne.
447
00:17:48,900 --> 00:17:49,900
Oh, all right.
448
00:17:53,910 --> 00:17:55,410
Thanks, okay, let's go.
449
00:17:55,410 --> 00:17:56,410
You wanted to come here.
450
00:17:56,410 --> 00:17:57,910
I did. Now I don't.
451
00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,910
I like flexible men, Jeff,
don't be so rigid.
452
00:17:59,910 --> 00:18:01,420
Oh, God, hold me.
453
00:18:03,420 --> 00:18:05,920
This is the best
first date I've ever had.
454
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:07,420
Excuse me.
455
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:08,920
Helen, are you okay?
456
00:18:09,420 --> 00:18:10,420
Helen?
457
00:18:13,430 --> 00:18:14,930
Helen?
458
00:18:14,930 --> 00:18:16,430
Oh, Davis.
459
00:18:16,430 --> 00:18:17,930
Wh--
Hi.
460
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:18,930
What are you doing here?
461
00:18:18,930 --> 00:18:20,930
I'm looking for you.
Oh.
462
00:18:20,930 --> 00:18:22,440
When I got your message
I dropped everything
463
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:24,440
and flew here to make sure
you're okay. Who's this?
464
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:25,940
Uh, I'm Jeff. Helen's--
465
00:18:25,940 --> 00:18:26,940
Neighbor's son.
466
00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:31,450
Yes, Rachel's boy.
467
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:35,450
Well, um, say hello
to the twins, buh-bye now.
468
00:18:35,450 --> 00:18:36,950
Helen,
I'm getting mixed signals here,
469
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:37,950
are we on a date or aren't we?
470
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:39,950
You're on a date with this guy?
471
00:18:39,950 --> 00:18:41,960
Excuse me, pardon me,
coming through here.
472
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:42,960
Hey, Hackett.
473
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:44,460
What are you doing
with that plant?
474
00:18:44,460 --> 00:18:46,460
Uh, well, nothing,
I'm just trying to go home.
475
00:18:46,460 --> 00:18:46,960
Joe Hackett?
476
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,460
What are you doing here?
477
00:18:49,460 --> 00:18:52,470
Uh, well, I'm taking this plant
to my aunt in the hospital.
478
00:18:54,470 --> 00:18:56,470
I thought you said she died.
( stutters )
479
00:18:56,470 --> 00:18:58,970
Well, it turns out it was one
of those near-death experiences.
480
00:18:58,970 --> 00:19:00,470
What, I--
No, really.
481
00:19:00,470 --> 00:19:01,980
You know,
she went in the tunnel,
482
00:19:01,980 --> 00:19:03,980
she saw the light,
she came back,
483
00:19:03,980 --> 00:19:05,980
it's a miracle, really.
That is a load of--
484
00:19:05,980 --> 00:19:07,480
No, I'm sorry, I'm sure I--
485
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:08,980
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
486
00:19:08,980 --> 00:19:10,980
Helen, can we sit and talk?
I'm leaving.
487
00:19:10,980 --> 00:19:14,490
Come on, please, sit down.
Let me explain, okay?
488
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:18,990
Well, what am I supposed to do?
489
00:19:18,990 --> 00:19:20,490
Sit.
490
00:19:21,490 --> 00:19:22,500
All right.
491
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:24,500
I'm going to be honest with you.
492
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,000
( exhales heavily )
493
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,000
I'm a victim of a multiple
personality disorder.
494
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,510
Oh, this is ridiculous.
Thanks a lot, Hackett.
495
00:19:33,510 --> 00:19:34,510
What, you knew she was here
on a date,
496
00:19:34,510 --> 00:19:36,510
what, did you bring me down here
just to embarrass me?
497
00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:39,510
No, I-- You're dating him?
I thought you were dating him.
498
00:19:39,510 --> 00:19:41,010
I am.
You are?
499
00:19:41,010 --> 00:19:42,020
Then what am I doing here?
500
00:19:42,020 --> 00:19:43,020
So this is who
you dumped me for?
501
00:19:43,020 --> 00:19:44,520
No, I'm not here with him.
502
00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:46,020
She's here with me.
No, she's here with me.
503
00:19:46,020 --> 00:19:47,020
Who are you here with?
Him.
504
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:49,020
I came here with him,
but not really.
505
00:19:49,020 --> 00:19:50,020
You mean, like a date.
506
00:19:50,020 --> 00:19:51,530
Well, not like a "date" date...
507
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,030
Thank you very much.
508
00:19:53,030 --> 00:19:54,030
I know how you feel,
509
00:19:54,030 --> 00:19:55,530
I'm supposed to be
on a date with him.
510
00:19:55,530 --> 00:19:57,030
Why are you here, anyway?
511
00:19:57,030 --> 00:19:58,030
Look, look. Let me explain.
512
00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:00,530
Sandra, I'm sorry I lied to you,
513
00:20:00,530 --> 00:20:02,540
but my friend here
was in deep trouble
514
00:20:02,540 --> 00:20:04,540
and he really needed
to be with someone.
515
00:20:04,540 --> 00:20:05,540
Really?
516
00:20:05,540 --> 00:20:08,040
Hey, guys. What's up?
517
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,040
Hey, everybody.
518
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:10,540
Oh, you must be Joy.
519
00:20:10,540 --> 00:20:12,050
Joe's been talking
about you all day.
520
00:20:14,550 --> 00:20:15,550
SANDRA:
Joy?
521
00:20:15,550 --> 00:20:19,550
No, I'm Sandra
and I'm out of here.
522
00:20:19,550 --> 00:20:21,550
I've had it with all of you.
I didn't do anything.
523
00:20:21,550 --> 00:20:22,560
I don't mean you.
524
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,060
As far as I can tell,
525
00:20:24,060 --> 00:20:25,560
you're the only one here
who's a nice guy.
526
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:28,060
I really am. I don't belong
with these people.
527
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:31,060
Can I buy you a drink?
528
00:20:31,060 --> 00:20:32,070
Absolutely.
529
00:20:35,570 --> 00:20:37,070
Oh, hey. Thanks, Brian.
530
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:38,070
Thanks a lot
for the good advice.
531
00:20:41,070 --> 00:20:42,580
Uh, what's going on?
532
00:20:42,580 --> 00:20:45,080
I'm trying to clean up the mess
that Alex got me into.
533
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:46,080
Wait, Helen--
534
00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,080
J-J-J-Just wait.
Just a second.
535
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:50,080
Helen, I don't understand
what's going on here.
536
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,590
You-- You-- You call me up,
you leave me this crazy message,
537
00:20:52,590 --> 00:20:55,590
I drop everything, I fly
right here as fast as I can,
538
00:20:55,590 --> 00:20:57,090
and you're out on a date.
539
00:20:57,090 --> 00:20:59,590
Look, Helen.
The bottom line is
540
00:20:59,590 --> 00:21:01,590
you are the most important
thing in my life.
541
00:21:04,100 --> 00:21:05,100
Really?
542
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:09,600
Davis,
I feel the exact same way.
543
00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:12,610
Well, then let's go someplace
quiet and talk this out.
544
00:21:19,110 --> 00:21:22,120
Boy, am I glad
we are in a solid relationship.
545
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:26,120
No lying, no game playing,
no stories.
546
00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:28,120
Absolutely. Honesty.
Honesty is the key.
547
00:21:30,620 --> 00:21:31,620
ALEX:
Brian?
548
00:21:31,620 --> 00:21:33,130
What did you tell the Crandles
549
00:21:33,130 --> 00:21:34,630
we were doing tonight?
550
00:21:34,630 --> 00:21:37,130
Oh, I lied. I told them
that you were sick
551
00:21:37,130 --> 00:21:39,130
and that my aunt died.
552
00:21:39,130 --> 00:21:41,130
What do we tell them now?
553
00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:44,140
Duck!
554
00:21:44,140 --> 00:21:45,640
( upbeat piano theme playing )
555
00:21:51,110 --> 00:21:53,650
( upbeat piano theme playing )
39251
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