Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,740 --> 00:00:03,240
( upbeat piano theme playing )
2
00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:06,740
There you are,
Mr. Lattimer,
3
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:09,740
you're on our 10:00 flight
to Boston.
4
00:00:09,740 --> 00:00:11,750
Oh, I forgot to ask.
5
00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:12,750
What's the movie?
6
00:00:12,750 --> 00:00:15,250
Oh. Oh, we're showing The Firm.
7
00:00:15,250 --> 00:00:17,750
And, uh, what's the meal today?
8
00:00:17,750 --> 00:00:20,760
It's beef Wellington. They
prepare it right on the plane.
9
00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:24,260
And we have a fine selection
of California wines.
10
00:00:24,260 --> 00:00:26,760
Uh, excuse me one second.
Fay, um,
11
00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,760
what are you doing?
12
00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:32,270
We don't have meals on our
plane, or movies or wine.
13
00:00:32,270 --> 00:00:33,770
It's a half hour flight
to Boston.
14
00:00:33,770 --> 00:00:35,270
Why don't you
ask Mr. Lattimer
15
00:00:35,270 --> 00:00:38,270
why he's going to Boston?
16
00:00:38,270 --> 00:00:41,780
So, uh, Mr. Lattimer,
what takes you to Boston today?
17
00:00:41,780 --> 00:00:44,780
Gotta catch a shuttle flight
to Washington.
18
00:00:44,780 --> 00:00:47,280
I have secret information
19
00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:50,280
for President Roosevelt.
20
00:00:52,290 --> 00:00:55,290
About the Panama Canal.
21
00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:58,290
Oh.
22
00:00:58,290 --> 00:01:00,290
Government business.
23
00:01:00,290 --> 00:01:03,300
Fay, upgrade Mr. Lattimer
to first class.
24
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:06,800
( upbeat theme playing )
25
00:01:11,310 --> 00:01:14,310
Announcing the arrival
of Aeromass Flight 12
26
00:01:14,310 --> 00:01:16,310
from New York.
27
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:18,310
Hey, Scarpacci.
28
00:01:18,310 --> 00:01:21,820
Punch me as hard as you can.
Right here.
29
00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:24,820
Because I am-- Oh!
30
00:01:24,820 --> 00:01:26,320
Don't you even wanna know why?
31
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:28,820
Doesn't matter. But if you
want me to do it again,
32
00:01:28,820 --> 00:01:30,330
here's my beeper number.
33
00:01:32,330 --> 00:01:35,330
Hey, uh, Roy,
what was all that about?
34
00:01:35,330 --> 00:01:38,830
I'm just getting ready to say
hi to my old buddy Dan Mattay.
35
00:01:38,830 --> 00:01:40,340
Gotta make sure
I can still take it.
36
00:01:40,330 --> 00:01:42,840
God,
what's he doing back here?
37
00:01:42,840 --> 00:01:45,840
I thought the island got rid of
that psychopath when he retired.
38
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,840
Wait a minute, back up.
Who is Dan Mattay?
39
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:49,840
He's our old high school
football coach.
40
00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,850
Hey,
he wasn't just a coach.
41
00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:53,350
He was a god.
42
00:01:53,350 --> 00:01:54,850
That's why
the town council's
43
00:01:54,850 --> 00:01:56,850
gonna dedicate
the new gym to him.
44
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:58,850
The dedication ceremony's
tomorrow.
45
00:01:58,850 --> 00:02:00,860
Oh, man,
I hated the coach's guts.
46
00:02:00,860 --> 00:02:03,860
I can still hear that annoying
bullhorn voice.
47
00:02:03,860 --> 00:02:05,860
( as Mattay )
Hackett, you throw like a girl.
48
00:02:05,860 --> 00:02:09,860
Put a dress on, Hackett.
Play the girl's team. Oh.
49
00:02:09,860 --> 00:02:11,870
And you took that?
50
00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:15,370
Why not?
He was talking to Joe.
51
00:02:15,370 --> 00:02:17,370
Come on,
he picked on everyone.
52
00:02:17,370 --> 00:02:19,870
( as Mattay )
Thirty pushups, girl.
Five laps, girls.
53
00:02:19,870 --> 00:02:21,880
He was a jerk.
Oh, you guys deserved it.
54
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,880
You probably did play
like girls.
55
00:02:23,880 --> 00:02:25,380
Excuse me, excuse me.
56
00:02:25,380 --> 00:02:28,380
Everyone keeps referring to
the word "girls" as an insult.
57
00:02:28,380 --> 00:02:29,880
I will have you know that women
58
00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:31,890
are every bit as athletic
as men are.
59
00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:33,390
Helen, think fast.
60
00:02:40,390 --> 00:02:43,900
On behalf of women everywhere,
nice catch.
61
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:48,900
Man, I'll tell you, Old Coach
Mattay hasn't changed a bit.
62
00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:50,910
He fell asleep
on Roy's flight.
63
00:02:50,910 --> 00:02:52,910
Had to use
this to wake him up.
64
00:02:52,910 --> 00:02:55,410
( honks loudly )
65
00:02:55,410 --> 00:02:58,410
Didn't even
bat an eye.
66
00:02:58,410 --> 00:03:00,410
Yeah, that guy always could
sleep through anything.
67
00:03:00,410 --> 00:03:04,420
I remember once, the team bus
crashed on the way to a game,
68
00:03:04,420 --> 00:03:05,420
He slept through it.
69
00:03:05,420 --> 00:03:07,420
I think he had a little help
from his assistant coach.
70
00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:10,930
Jack Daniels.
71
00:03:10,930 --> 00:03:12,930
Is that the little guy
who used to hang around
72
00:03:12,930 --> 00:03:15,930
the locker room staring
at everybody?
73
00:03:17,930 --> 00:03:21,940
No, no, no, that was,
uh, Mr. Lebeau. Math teacher.
74
00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:23,440
Right. Oh, wait--
Oh, wait a minute.
75
00:03:23,440 --> 00:03:26,940
Now,
what reason would he have for--
76
00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,450
Okay.
77
00:03:32,450 --> 00:03:34,450
Come on, Bri, let's get out
of here before he shows up.
78
00:03:34,450 --> 00:03:36,450
You know,
if I didn't know better,
79
00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:38,450
I would think that you guys
are still afraid of him.
80
00:03:38,450 --> 00:03:39,950
Oh, please.
Wait,
81
00:03:39,950 --> 00:03:40,960
You know,
I'm still afraid
82
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:43,460
of my third-grade teacher
Mrs. Gatenbean.
83
00:03:43,460 --> 00:03:46,960
That was, oh,
50 years ago.
84
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:49,960
Wait a minute,
she was an old witch then,
85
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,970
she's probably dead
and buried by now.
86
00:03:52,970 --> 00:03:56,470
What a lovely day.
87
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:57,970
Come on, let's go.
88
00:03:57,970 --> 00:04:00,980
Well, well, if it isn't
the Hackett sisters.
89
00:04:00,980 --> 00:04:03,980
( laughing )
Oh.
90
00:04:03,980 --> 00:04:06,480
You ladies still can't take it,
can you?
91
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:09,480
You know, it's too bad you're
not more like Mather here.
92
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:11,990
Now,
this is one tough kid.
93
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:13,990
He was so tough he used
to scrimmage without a helmet.
94
00:04:13,990 --> 00:04:15,490
Remember that?
95
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:19,490
Wait a second. I played football
in high school?
96
00:04:19,490 --> 00:04:21,000
( grunting )
97
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,000
He-he-hey, coach.
98
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,000
Roy-boy.
99
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:28,500
( both yelling )
100
00:04:31,010 --> 00:04:34,010
So we gonna see you at the
dedication ceremony tomorrow?
101
00:04:34,010 --> 00:04:35,510
You bet, Roy.
102
00:04:35,510 --> 00:04:38,010
Hey, Scarpacci.
Hey.
103
00:04:41,020 --> 00:04:43,520
This man needs a cab.
104
00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:45,020
Antonio Scarpacci.
Yeah, yeah,
105
00:04:45,020 --> 00:04:48,020
you just get me
downtown.
106
00:04:56,030 --> 00:04:57,530
What's the matter
with you?
107
00:04:57,530 --> 00:04:59,530
Come on, girlie.
Suck it up.
108
00:05:01,540 --> 00:05:05,040
See you, ladies.
109
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:10,040
( in tough voice )
Oh, yeah?
110
00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,550
Wow, that guy reminds me
of the sergeant
111
00:05:12,550 --> 00:05:15,550
that we had in boot camp.
But we got even with her.
112
00:05:15,550 --> 00:05:17,550
One night
we got her really drunk
113
00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:18,550
and we snuck
into her room.
114
00:05:18,550 --> 00:05:20,050
While she was passed out
we painted
115
00:05:20,050 --> 00:05:23,060
this big black
mustache on her.
116
00:05:23,060 --> 00:05:25,560
Boy, she must've felt
like a total idiot, huh?
117
00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:27,060
Actually,
I think she liked it.
118
00:05:27,060 --> 00:05:29,560
She ended up
letting her own grow in.
119
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:33,570
Wow, that's funny. That's funny.
You guys snuck into--
120
00:05:39,070 --> 00:05:41,080
No. Oh, no, we couldn't.
121
00:05:41,080 --> 00:05:43,080
I think we could.
122
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:44,580
Well, we shouldn't.
123
00:05:44,580 --> 00:05:46,580
I think we should.
124
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,080
Oh,
what's going on?
125
00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:50,590
Will you excuse me, Alex?
Uh, Joe and I are gonna go
126
00:05:50,580 --> 00:05:53,090
have a little girl talk.
127
00:05:53,090 --> 00:05:54,590
( piano theme playing )
128
00:05:58,090 --> 00:06:01,100
Coach Mattay dead,
are you sure?
129
00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:03,100
I've been practicing medicine
for 30 years.
130
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:06,100
Trust me,
this is not a coin flip.
131
00:06:08,100 --> 00:06:10,610
If you don't believe me,
come in and take a look.
132
00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,110
I'll take your
word for it.
133
00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:13,610
Thanks for coming, doctor.
134
00:06:13,610 --> 00:06:15,610
I knew you were on your way
out of town.
135
00:06:15,610 --> 00:06:17,110
So what do you think killed him?
136
00:06:17,110 --> 00:06:20,110
Depending on autopsy,
I'd say his liver.
137
00:06:20,110 --> 00:06:22,120
Such a tragedy.
138
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,120
Still can't bring myself
to go in there.
139
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:26,620
So would you mind checking
the minibar?
140
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:29,120
You're right, that's tacky.
141
00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,630
I'll send the maid
in the morning.
142
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,140
( whispering )
Okay. There he is.
143
00:06:48,140 --> 00:06:50,140
Out like a light,
just like always.
144
00:06:50,140 --> 00:06:52,150
Shh, shh, shh.
145
00:06:52,150 --> 00:06:54,150
Okay.
146
00:06:54,150 --> 00:06:55,650
You got everything?
Yeah, yeah.
147
00:06:55,650 --> 00:06:59,150
Wig. Makeup.
148
00:06:59,150 --> 00:07:00,150
Camera.
Oh, great.
149
00:07:00,150 --> 00:07:02,660
Ooh.
Shh.
150
00:07:02,660 --> 00:07:06,160
This is gonna be great.
I-- Shh.
151
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:12,170
( upbeat theme playing )
152
00:07:13,170 --> 00:07:14,670
Okay, good. That's it.
153
00:07:14,670 --> 00:07:16,170
So go do it, go do it.
154
00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:17,670
No, you go.
Me?
155
00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:19,670
You go.
No, no. You, you--
156
00:07:19,670 --> 00:07:21,680
Okay, stop it, shh,
stop it, stop it, okay.
157
00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:23,680
We'll do it, and then we'll just
get the hell out of it.
158
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,180
Okay, let's go.
( crashing )
159
00:07:25,180 --> 00:07:26,680
Oh.
160
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,680
It wasn't me, coach.
It was Joe's idea.
161
00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:30,680
He told me
to do it.
162
00:07:33,190 --> 00:07:34,690
Oh, man, I can't believe
163
00:07:34,690 --> 00:07:37,190
anyone would sleep
through that.
164
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,190
He had a little help.
165
00:07:39,190 --> 00:07:42,200
Yeah,
about a quart's worth.
166
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,700
Hey--
Would you rela-- ?
167
00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:48,200
Hey,
this guy's out cold.
168
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:49,200
You're right.
169
00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:52,210
Anyway, he is gonna thank us
in the morning,
170
00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:55,210
because he is gonna wake up
with a brand new head of hair.
171
00:07:55,210 --> 00:07:58,210
Oh!
172
00:08:00,710 --> 00:08:03,220
What do you think?
173
00:08:03,220 --> 00:08:05,720
BRIAN:
He's the ugliest woman
I've ever seen.
174
00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:07,220
Which is why
175
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:10,730
he needs
a little makeup.
176
00:08:11,730 --> 00:08:13,730
You know, uh,
177
00:08:13,730 --> 00:08:15,730
I think the coach
needs a little blush.
178
00:08:15,730 --> 00:08:18,230
He's looking a bit peaked.
179
00:08:18,230 --> 00:08:21,740
Hey, um, Brian?
Yeah.
180
00:08:21,740 --> 00:08:24,740
Brian, it's, uh,
scaring me just a little bit
181
00:08:24,740 --> 00:08:26,740
how good you are at this.
182
00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,250
Oh, and you know
what would look great?
183
00:08:31,250 --> 00:08:33,250
Some of those big,
dangly earrings.
184
00:08:33,250 --> 00:08:36,750
No.
You wanna make him look cheap?
185
00:08:36,750 --> 00:08:37,750
Okay, you're right.
186
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:41,260
It's just so hard
to accessorize a football coach.
187
00:08:41,260 --> 00:08:43,760
What do you think?
Reckless Red for the lips?
188
00:08:43,760 --> 00:08:45,260
Excellent.
189
00:08:50,260 --> 00:08:52,770
All right, now get the picture.
Get the picture.
190
00:08:52,770 --> 00:08:56,270
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Dress, dress, dress, dress.
191
00:08:56,270 --> 00:08:57,770
JOE:
All right, coach.
192
00:08:57,770 --> 00:09:00,270
I know you didn't keep in touch
with your players,
193
00:09:00,270 --> 00:09:03,280
but we are gonna make sure they
all get an up-to-date photo.
194
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:05,280
Oh,
we're gonna be famous.
195
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,280
We're gonna be legends.
196
00:09:08,780 --> 00:09:10,780
( upbeat theme playing )
197
00:09:19,290 --> 00:09:21,800
I will never forget
last night
198
00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,300
as long as I live.
199
00:09:24,300 --> 00:09:27,800
Hey, that's something we
should've done a long time ago.
200
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:31,810
Yeah. You were great.
201
00:09:34,310 --> 00:09:37,810
No, no, man.
You were great.
202
00:09:40,810 --> 00:09:42,320
Any regrets?
203
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,320
Not a one.
204
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:51,830
Hey, um, did you guys hear
the news about Coach Mattay?
205
00:09:51,830 --> 00:09:53,330
News?
What-- What news?
206
00:09:53,330 --> 00:09:54,830
It's really awful.
BRIAN: Mm-hm.
207
00:09:54,830 --> 00:09:57,330
( Joe and Brian giggling )
208
00:09:59,330 --> 00:10:00,840
What is so funny?
209
00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:04,840
Should we tell her?
Uh...
210
00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:08,840
Well, okay,
I think we can tell her.
211
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:10,840
I think she's trustworthy.
212
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:14,850
Um, Helen...he, he...
Um,
213
00:10:14,850 --> 00:10:18,350
we not only
heard the news...
214
00:10:18,350 --> 00:10:20,860
Uh,
we were responsible.
215
00:10:20,850 --> 00:10:22,860
( Joe and Brain laughing )
216
00:10:25,860 --> 00:10:27,860
What? What?
217
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:30,860
What do you mean
you were responsible?
218
00:10:30,860 --> 00:10:33,370
We snuck into his hotel room,
219
00:10:33,370 --> 00:10:36,370
and we payed him back for all
those years of abuse.
220
00:10:36,370 --> 00:10:38,370
Man,
he got what was
221
00:10:38,370 --> 00:10:42,380
coming to him,
baby.
222
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:43,880
Look.
223
00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:45,380
Oh, oh,
look at that expression.
224
00:10:45,380 --> 00:10:48,380
Seeing this makes
it all worthwhile,
225
00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:49,380
man,
I'm telling you.
226
00:10:49,380 --> 00:10:51,390
No,
tell me this is not happening.
227
00:10:51,390 --> 00:10:52,890
Tell me I'm not
hearing this.
228
00:10:52,890 --> 00:10:54,890
JOE: What is the matter?
Tell me that it was an accident.
229
00:10:54,890 --> 00:10:56,390
And tell me
that it wasn't premeditated.
230
00:10:56,390 --> 00:10:58,390
What?
Of course it was premeditated.
231
00:10:58,390 --> 00:11:00,390
You can't do something
like that without a plan.
232
00:11:00,390 --> 00:11:03,400
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
233
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:05,400
Helen. Helen. Lighten up.
234
00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:07,900
Where's your sense of humor?
Don't touch me.
235
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:10,900
Helen. He called us girls
in high school.
236
00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:12,910
I mean,
fair is fair.
237
00:11:12,910 --> 00:11:15,410
Because a man calls you girls
in high school,
238
00:11:15,410 --> 00:11:18,410
you sneak into his room
and do that to him?
239
00:11:18,410 --> 00:11:21,920
BOTH:
Yeah.
240
00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:24,420
The man is dead.
241
00:11:32,430 --> 00:11:33,930
Huh?
242
00:11:33,930 --> 00:11:35,430
( piano theme playing )
243
00:11:38,930 --> 00:11:40,430
( upbeat theme playing )
244
00:11:41,940 --> 00:11:44,440
Now,
when you say "dead",
245
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:45,940
do you mean dead as in, uh,
246
00:11:45,940 --> 00:11:48,940
"I just went jogging,
boy am I dead"?
247
00:11:48,940 --> 00:11:50,440
No, I mean dead as in,
248
00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:52,950
"I just stopped breathing,
boy am I dead."
249
00:11:52,950 --> 00:11:55,450
How could you do
something like this?
250
00:11:55,450 --> 00:11:56,450
We didn't kill him.
251
00:11:56,450 --> 00:11:58,450
how could you think
we'd do something so crazy?
252
00:11:58,450 --> 00:12:00,450
All we did was sneak
into his hotel room
253
00:12:00,450 --> 00:12:01,460
and dress him up
like a woman.
254
00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:04,960
God, what a re-- You what?
255
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,960
We thought
he was sleeping.
256
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,460
Oh, my God.
257
00:12:08,460 --> 00:12:09,960
He must've woken up,
258
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:12,470
seen himself in the mirror
and had a heart attack and died,
259
00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:13,470
I think we did kill him.
260
00:12:13,470 --> 00:12:16,970
Oh, no. Oh, no.
You killed him, man.
261
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:18,970
Don't try to drag me into this.
262
00:12:18,970 --> 00:12:22,480
I need a lawyer.
Fay, get me Dershowitz.
263
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:26,980
Hey, guys,
hear about Coach Mattay dying?
264
00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,480
Yes, we did,
and as a matter of fact,
265
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,480
Joe and Brian--
Heard about it, and, uh,
266
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,490
and we--
We feel really terrible.
267
00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:34,490
Listen, Lowell, uh,
268
00:12:34,490 --> 00:12:37,490
You didn't happen to find out
what killed him did you?
269
00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:39,490
Uh, as a matter
of fact I did.
270
00:12:39,490 --> 00:12:41,500
As you may know, my cousin Bevo
271
00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:44,500
enjoys hanging around
at the morgue.
272
00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:47,500
Uh, just for fun?
273
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:49,500
Why else?
274
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,510
Anyway,
apparently the cause of death
275
00:12:53,510 --> 00:12:55,510
was the old John Barleycorn.
276
00:12:55,510 --> 00:12:57,010
Demon rum.
277
00:12:57,010 --> 00:12:59,010
Hooch.
278
00:12:59,010 --> 00:13:00,510
What?
279
00:13:00,510 --> 00:13:03,020
According to Bevo, he died
of cirrhosis of the liver.
280
00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:06,020
Uh, uh, is he sure?
Hey,
281
00:13:06,020 --> 00:13:10,020
if there's on thing Bevo knows,
it's livers.
282
00:13:10,020 --> 00:13:13,530
Oh, interesting sidebar,
whenever they found the coach,
283
00:13:13,530 --> 00:13:15,530
apparently he was dressed
like a woman.
284
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:20,530
Are, uh, are you sure?
285
00:13:20,530 --> 00:13:24,540
Hey, if there's another thing
Bevo knows, it's cross-dressers.
286
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,540
Oh, thank God.
287
00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:31,550
So w-we didn't kill him.
288
00:13:31,550 --> 00:13:34,050
Yeah. Wait. I just thought
of something worse.
289
00:13:34,050 --> 00:13:37,550
We kissed a dead guy.
290
00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,050
BOTH:
Ugh.
291
00:13:39,050 --> 00:13:42,060
You know,
I'm not even gonna ask.
292
00:13:42,060 --> 00:13:45,060
All I know is, you have to tell
everyone what you did.
293
00:13:45,060 --> 00:13:47,560
What, but why? Why?
He died of natural causes.
294
00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,560
Because. I mean, if people find
out how he was found,
295
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:51,570
they're gonna think
he was a transvestite.
296
00:13:51,570 --> 00:13:53,570
You know how gossip spreads
in this town.
297
00:13:53,570 --> 00:13:55,570
Look, d-- Do not worry.
298
00:13:55,570 --> 00:13:58,070
The only two people who know
are Lowell and Bevo.
299
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:00,070
That's right. As long as we
keep our mouths shut,
300
00:14:00,070 --> 00:14:03,080
no one ever
has to know.
301
00:14:03,080 --> 00:14:05,080
You're kidding.
302
00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:07,080
Lipstick and a wig?
303
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,080
Coach Mattay?
304
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:10,080
( gasps )
305
00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,090
A frilly little tutu?
306
00:14:12,090 --> 00:14:15,090
Oh, Ruthie, that's amazing.
307
00:14:15,090 --> 00:14:16,090
What else have you heard?
308
00:14:16,090 --> 00:14:18,590
I can't believe
you guys.
309
00:14:18,590 --> 00:14:20,090
What, a tutu?
310
00:14:20,090 --> 00:14:23,100
Hey, listen,
we did not do the tutu.
311
00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:24,600
It was a very
tasteful evening gown.
312
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,100
BRIAN:
That's right.
313
00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:28,100
Just relax, Helen,
just 'cause Fay heard something
314
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:30,100
doesn't mean
that it's public knowledge.
315
00:14:30,100 --> 00:14:32,610
I've got a great joke
for you.
316
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:34,110
What's the difference
between
317
00:14:34,110 --> 00:14:36,610
Coach Mattay
and J. Edgar Hoover?
318
00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:40,610
About four
dress sizes.
319
00:14:40,610 --> 00:14:42,620
God.
320
00:14:42,620 --> 00:14:44,620
( laughing )
321
00:14:44,620 --> 00:14:45,620
You see what you've done?
322
00:14:45,620 --> 00:14:48,620
Okay,
so a few people are talking.
323
00:14:48,620 --> 00:14:50,120
Brian
324
00:14:53,630 --> 00:14:56,130
I have a question that could
affect our entire relationship.
325
00:14:56,130 --> 00:14:58,630
Did you kill Coach Mattay?
326
00:14:58,630 --> 00:15:00,130
No.
327
00:15:00,130 --> 00:15:02,640
Buy you did dress him up
like a woman?
328
00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,140
Yeah.
329
00:15:04,140 --> 00:15:05,640
Just checking.
330
00:15:09,140 --> 00:15:11,650
Roy, listen, did you hear
anything about Coach Mattay?
331
00:15:11,650 --> 00:15:14,650
You mean all those rumors going
around town about his death?
332
00:15:14,650 --> 00:15:17,150
Well, I, for one,
wanna go on record as saying
333
00:15:17,150 --> 00:15:20,150
I do not believe one word of it,
not for a second.
334
00:15:20,150 --> 00:15:22,160
Coach Mattay was a prince.
335
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,160
And a princess.
336
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:25,660
Hey, hey, hey.
337
00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:27,660
We used to hunt
and fish together.
338
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,660
That man was as tough
as nails.
339
00:15:29,660 --> 00:15:31,670
I heard they were press-ons.
340
00:15:35,170 --> 00:15:37,670
Hope they're not cancelling
the dedication ceremony
341
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,670
for the new gym.
ROY: Are you kidding?
342
00:15:39,670 --> 00:15:41,680
They're gonna turn
it into a memorial service,
343
00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:44,680
and it's gonna be my honor
to preside over the ceremony.
344
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:47,180
If you had any class,
345
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:49,180
you'd send flowers.
346
00:15:49,180 --> 00:15:50,180
Or just a corsage.
347
00:15:54,190 --> 00:15:57,190
Look what you guys did
to that man's reputation.
348
00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:59,190
Well, you're gonna have
to tell the truth.
349
00:15:59,190 --> 00:16:00,690
Wh-- Wh-- Bu--
350
00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:02,700
Yes, you're gonna go down
to the memorial service
351
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:05,200
this afternoon, and you're gonna
set the record straight.
352
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,200
What?
What, are you nuts?
353
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,200
And if you don't, then--
354
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:10,700
Then what?
355
00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:12,210
Then you're gonna be
in a lot of trouble
356
00:16:12,210 --> 00:16:14,210
'cause I'm gonna tell.
357
00:16:14,210 --> 00:16:15,210
Will not.
Will so.
358
00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:16,210
Will not.
Will so.
359
00:16:16,210 --> 00:16:19,210
Will not.
Will so, will so, will so.
360
00:16:19,210 --> 00:16:21,210
We may have to kill her.
361
00:16:23,220 --> 00:16:25,220
( upbeat theme playing )
362
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:28,720
( chatter )
363
00:16:32,230 --> 00:16:34,230
( groans )
364
00:16:34,230 --> 00:16:36,230
God,
there's the coach's son.
365
00:16:36,230 --> 00:16:37,730
BRIAN:
Haven't seen him in years.
366
00:16:37,730 --> 00:16:41,240
He's grown.
A lot.
367
00:16:41,230 --> 00:16:44,240
Bud. I'm gonna go offer
my condolences.
368
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:46,740
BRIAN:
Jeez, uh, Bud...
369
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:49,240
doesn't look very happy,
does he?
370
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:52,750
His father's dead.
371
00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:54,250
I'd rather die
than tell him
372
00:16:54,250 --> 00:16:56,250
that we gave his father
a makeover.
373
00:16:56,250 --> 00:16:58,250
Look,
we still might not have to.
374
00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:00,750
There's a lot of people here.
They're still honoring him.
375
00:17:00,750 --> 00:17:02,760
No harm, no foul.
We'll just--
376
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,260
Excuse me, if, uh,
377
00:17:05,260 --> 00:17:08,760
if you'll all be seated
we can get started.
378
00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,760
Bud is really
broken up.
379
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:13,270
You guys better go tell him
what you did to his dad.
380
00:17:13,270 --> 00:17:15,770
Hope he doesn't break
you in two.
381
00:17:15,770 --> 00:17:18,270
Come on, Helen,
he's not really that tough.
382
00:17:18,270 --> 00:17:22,280
Oh, really? At the funeral
he's the only pallbearer.
383
00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:25,780
Dear friends,
384
00:17:25,780 --> 00:17:28,280
I think it's particularly
appropriate
385
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,280
that we're all
gathered here today
386
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:33,290
in the new Dan Mattay gymnasium.
387
00:17:33,290 --> 00:17:35,290
To honor a man
388
00:17:35,290 --> 00:17:39,290
who gave so much to his com--
389
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,300
Ah, you're kidding?
390
00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:50,300
Y-you saw him
with your own eyes?
391
00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:51,810
Uh-oh.
392
00:17:51,810 --> 00:17:53,810
All right, let's get on with it.
393
00:17:53,810 --> 00:17:56,810
Uh, here's a plaque, he's dead,
394
00:17:56,810 --> 00:17:58,810
life goes on, let's go home.
395
00:17:58,810 --> 00:18:02,820
Um, uh,
wait just a minute please.
396
00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:05,320
Apparently Helen Chapel
has got something
397
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:07,320
she wants to say
about Dan Mattay.
398
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,320
The twink.
399
00:18:11,830 --> 00:18:14,830
Well, all I have to say is...
400
00:18:16,830 --> 00:18:19,830
that Joe and Brian Hackett
have something to say.
401
00:18:19,830 --> 00:18:21,840
Told you we
should've killed her.
402
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:28,840
Uh...
403
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,350
I think that, uh, my feelings
can best be summed up
404
00:18:33,350 --> 00:18:35,350
in the words of...
405
00:18:35,350 --> 00:18:38,350
my brother Brian.
406
00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:45,860
( blowing )
407
00:18:45,860 --> 00:18:49,360
I'll really miss him.
408
00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:51,360
Joe.
409
00:18:53,870 --> 00:18:57,370
All right, if you don't
tell them, I'm telling Bud.
410
00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:59,870
All right, okay,
all right, look. Um...
411
00:18:59,870 --> 00:19:01,380
Look,
there have been a lot of rumors
412
00:19:01,370 --> 00:19:02,880
going around about the coach.
413
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,880
And, uh, obviously it's, uh,
414
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:07,380
time that you all
found out the truth.
415
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:09,880
So here it is, here's the truth.
416
00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:14,890
There is nothing wrong at all
417
00:19:14,890 --> 00:19:17,890
with dressing up like a woman.
418
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:19,390
What?
No, no, no, look, I mean,
419
00:19:19,390 --> 00:19:21,390
aren't we tired
of these witch-hunts?
420
00:19:21,390 --> 00:19:24,900
Shouldn't a man's proclivity
be irrelevant
421
00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:27,400
to judging who they are
as a human being?
422
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,400
I've always thought so.
423
00:19:30,900 --> 00:19:33,910
Dan Mattay was a great coach,
and a great man,
424
00:19:33,910 --> 00:19:35,410
and that's the way he should be
remembered,
425
00:19:35,410 --> 00:19:37,910
and I, for one,
think that it would be a shame
426
00:19:37,910 --> 00:19:39,910
if recent events did anything
427
00:19:39,910 --> 00:19:42,420
to tarnish his reputation.
428
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:52,930
Wait a minute.
429
00:19:52,930 --> 00:19:55,430
You two guys say that's
okay that my dad
430
00:19:55,430 --> 00:19:57,430
dressed up like a woman?
431
00:19:59,430 --> 00:20:02,440
Well,
okay is a very strong word.
432
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,940
Yeah, and if you don't like
it we can always take it back.
433
00:20:04,940 --> 00:20:06,940
I've had enough
of this talk.
434
00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:07,940
So now I'm gonna
do something
435
00:20:07,940 --> 00:20:09,940
that my old man
would've wanted me to.
436
00:20:12,950 --> 00:20:14,950
Oh, Dad...
437
00:20:14,950 --> 00:20:16,950
if only I would've
known sooner.
438
00:20:16,950 --> 00:20:19,450
There's so much
we could've shared.
439
00:20:21,450 --> 00:20:23,460
This is for you.
440
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,960
( sighs )
441
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,460
( upbeat piano theme playing )
442
00:20:41,980 --> 00:20:44,980
That's great.
No, glad to hear it.
443
00:20:44,980 --> 00:20:47,480
You're welcome. Okay.
444
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:48,980
It's Bud Mattay again.
445
00:20:48,980 --> 00:20:51,990
He keeps calling
to say thank you.
446
00:20:51,990 --> 00:20:54,990
You know, you two never did
tell the real truth
447
00:20:54,990 --> 00:20:56,490
Helen, what does it matter now.
448
00:20:56,490 --> 00:20:57,990
The Coach got his gym,
449
00:20:57,990 --> 00:21:00,490
and his son feels closer
to his father than ever.
450
00:21:00,490 --> 00:21:02,500
All right.
Well, I gotta go
451
00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:04,000
'cause I'm meeting Bud
at my place.
452
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,500
What for?
453
00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:08,000
Uh, I'm letting him borrow some
earrings for the funeral.
454
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,510
Hey, guys. Uh, listen,
I was over at the drugstore
455
00:21:14,510 --> 00:21:17,010
and they had these pictures
ready for you.
456
00:21:17,010 --> 00:21:18,510
Pictures?
457
00:21:18,510 --> 00:21:22,020
Uh, listen, Lowell, you didn't
take a look at them did you?
458
00:21:22,020 --> 00:21:23,520
No, no. None of my business.
459
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:31,520
Uh, hm, so, uh,
is there anything else, Lowell?
460
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,530
Well, Joe...
461
00:21:36,530 --> 00:21:40,530
I think we talked about a raise.
462
00:21:40,530 --> 00:21:42,540
( upbeat theme playing )
463
00:21:51,010 --> 00:22:02,560
( upbeat piano theme playing )
32980
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof