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1
00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:04,040
( upbeat piano theme playing )
2
00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,040
Good morning, Antonio.
Hey, Scarpacci.
3
00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:09,540
Morning.
4
00:00:09,540 --> 00:00:13,050
Uh, I found something
very valuable in my cab.
5
00:00:13,050 --> 00:00:14,050
Did anybody lose--?
6
00:00:14,050 --> 00:00:16,550
I lost it. It's mine.
7
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:19,050
You don't even know
what it is.
8
00:00:19,050 --> 00:00:20,050
( scoffs )
9
00:00:20,050 --> 00:00:22,060
It's a compact disc player.
10
00:00:22,060 --> 00:00:23,560
Wrong.
11
00:00:23,560 --> 00:00:25,560
It's a cellular phone.
12
00:00:25,560 --> 00:00:27,560
Damn, I almost said that.
13
00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:29,060
Yeah.
14
00:00:29,060 --> 00:00:31,070
Nice try.
But I wonder
15
00:00:31,070 --> 00:00:33,070
how I can find
the rightful owner.
16
00:00:33,070 --> 00:00:35,570
Don't be a jerk.
Keep it.
17
00:00:35,570 --> 00:00:38,070
But what if--? What if someone
comes back for it?
18
00:00:38,070 --> 00:00:40,580
Then you say, and note
the innocent expression,
19
00:00:40,570 --> 00:00:43,080
"Phone? What phone?"
20
00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:46,080
Oh, come on, Roy. Does that
ever work?
21
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:49,080
"Rolex? What Rolex?"
22
00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:51,590
( upbeat piano theme playing )
23
00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:58,590
( phone ringing )
24
00:01:07,100 --> 00:01:09,100
Hello?
25
00:01:09,100 --> 00:01:10,610
Who's this?
26
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,110
Betty? Betty who?
27
00:01:13,110 --> 00:01:16,110
Uh, no, this isn't Phil.
28
00:01:16,110 --> 00:01:18,610
He must be the man
who lost this phone.
29
00:01:18,610 --> 00:01:20,610
You're his wife.
30
00:01:20,610 --> 00:01:23,120
Oh. I-I remember a man
named Phil.
31
00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:24,620
And I remember you too.
32
00:01:24,620 --> 00:01:27,620
Oh, yes.
Tall, blond, late 20's.
33
00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:30,620
Oh. The two of you
made such a lovely--
34
00:01:33,630 --> 00:01:37,130
You're short, brunette,
early 40's?
35
00:01:39,630 --> 00:01:43,140
Please don't cry, Betty.
36
00:01:43,140 --> 00:01:45,140
I really don't wanna hear
about it.
37
00:01:45,140 --> 00:01:47,140
If it concerns you,
have it drained.
38
00:01:49,140 --> 00:01:50,140
Lowell Mather.
39
00:01:50,140 --> 00:01:51,650
Uh, heh, hi, Lisa.
40
00:01:51,650 --> 00:01:54,150
We had a date last night
and you never showed up.
41
00:01:54,150 --> 00:01:55,650
Uh, you know,
I meant to call you.
42
00:01:55,650 --> 00:01:58,650
I-I think that we're getting
a little too close.
43
00:01:58,650 --> 00:02:00,650
That was gonna be
our first date.
44
00:02:02,160 --> 00:02:04,160
See. Now we're arguing
already.
45
00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:07,160
We're-- We're obviously
incompatible.
46
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:11,670
Fine. That's the last time
I let my mother set me up.
47
00:02:11,670 --> 00:02:14,670
Hey, Lowell.
What's going on?
48
00:02:14,670 --> 00:02:16,170
That's, like, the fifth time
49
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:18,170
I've seen you dump
a perfectly nice girl.
50
00:02:18,170 --> 00:02:20,170
Well, I guess I'm having
a little trouble
51
00:02:20,170 --> 00:02:22,180
with this whole
dating business.
52
00:02:22,180 --> 00:02:24,680
Probably 'cause
I'm still married.
53
00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:27,180
I-- I thought you and Bunny
were separated.
54
00:02:27,180 --> 00:02:29,180
Oh, that again?
55
00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:31,690
You know, just because
Bunny and I don't eat together,
56
00:02:31,690 --> 00:02:33,690
sleep together,
or live in the same town,
57
00:02:33,690 --> 00:02:37,190
why does everyone assume
that the marriage is in trouble?
58
00:02:38,190 --> 00:02:40,190
Lowell's marriage is kind of
a touchy subject.
59
00:02:40,190 --> 00:02:41,700
He gets pretty weird
if you talk about it.
60
00:02:41,700 --> 00:02:43,700
Well, what's the big deal?
If you're not together,
61
00:02:43,700 --> 00:02:45,200
why don't you just get a di--?
Di-what?
62
00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,700
Get a di-what?
63
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,700
Lowell, Lowell.
64
00:02:49,700 --> 00:02:51,710
You know, it's really not
that uncommon.
65
00:02:51,710 --> 00:02:54,710
Fifty percent of all marriages
end in...
66
00:02:56,210 --> 00:02:58,210
Di-what.
67
00:02:58,210 --> 00:03:01,720
Di-what the hell
are you talking about?
68
00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:02,720
HELEN:
Now, Lowell.
69
00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:05,220
You know perfectly well
what we're talking about.
70
00:03:05,220 --> 00:03:08,220
We are talking about
you getting a di--
71
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:11,230
Joe.
72
00:03:13,730 --> 00:03:14,730
Me?
73
00:03:14,730 --> 00:03:16,730
Why does it always
have to be me?
74
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,230
Yeah.
Because you're sensitive.
75
00:03:18,230 --> 00:03:20,740
No, I'm not.
I don't even-- Okay.
76
00:03:20,730 --> 00:03:24,740
All right. Divorce, Lowell.
We are talking about a divorce.
77
00:03:24,740 --> 00:03:27,240
After all these years,
your marriage is a--
78
00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:30,240
A hollow, empty shell.
It's a joke.
79
00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:33,750
We're trying to tell you
to go and get a divorce.
80
00:03:33,750 --> 00:03:35,250
Way to go, Mr. Sensitive.
ROY: Smooth.
81
00:03:35,250 --> 00:03:36,250
Really nice.
82
00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:38,250
Very sweet.
What?
83
00:03:38,250 --> 00:03:39,250
BRIAN:
Very good.
84
00:03:39,250 --> 00:03:41,260
Divorce. Eh.
85
00:03:41,260 --> 00:03:42,760
We Mathers don't believe
in divorce.
86
00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:45,760
I know. It's a lousy thing to do
to a first cousin.
87
00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,270
Lowell, listen. We're not trying
to tell you what to do.
88
00:03:51,270 --> 00:03:53,270
But I think maybe the next time
you talk to Bunny,
89
00:03:53,270 --> 00:03:54,270
you should bring it up.
90
00:03:54,270 --> 00:03:56,770
Look, I don't want
a divorce.
91
00:03:56,770 --> 00:03:58,770
And I know that Bunny feels
the same way.
92
00:03:58,770 --> 00:04:01,280
And just to prove
to all of you cynics
93
00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:05,280
how Bunny feels, I'm gonna
call her right now and prove it.
94
00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,280
HELEN:
Oh, boy.
95
00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:10,790
That must be a really hard
call to make.
96
00:04:10,780 --> 00:04:13,290
Especially for Lowell.
It's got ten numbers in it.
97
00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:20,290
Bunny. Hi.
Quick question.
98
00:04:20,290 --> 00:04:23,300
Listen. Uh,
ever in your wildest dreams,
99
00:04:23,300 --> 00:04:25,300
did you imagine
getting a divorce?
100
00:04:25,300 --> 00:04:26,300
( chuckles )
101
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:27,800
Yeah, that's what I thought.
102
00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:30,800
Eh. And I gotta tell ya,
right about now,
103
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,310
somebody's looking pretty darn
foolish. Okay. All right.
104
00:04:33,310 --> 00:04:34,310
( kisses )
105
00:04:34,310 --> 00:04:36,810
Bye.
106
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:39,310
Anyone know a good lawyer?
107
00:04:39,310 --> 00:04:41,320
( upbeat piano theme playing )
108
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,820
Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
109
00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:49,820
Oh, this is so sad.
110
00:04:49,820 --> 00:04:52,330
I mean, I can still remember
Lowell's wedding.
111
00:04:52,330 --> 00:04:53,830
I'll never forget it.
112
00:04:53,830 --> 00:04:55,330
At the door,
the guy asked me,
113
00:04:55,330 --> 00:04:56,830
"Bride side, groom side,
114
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:59,830
or are you just here
for league night?"
115
00:04:59,830 --> 00:05:04,340
Well, the appointment was
for noon, and it's now 12:01.
116
00:05:04,340 --> 00:05:06,840
I think it's pretty darn clear
that if Bunny wanted a divorce,
117
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:08,840
she'd be here by now.
118
00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:11,350
Well, now, maybe she's just
running late.
119
00:05:11,350 --> 00:05:12,850
I suppose it's possible.
120
00:05:12,850 --> 00:05:15,350
She never did have any sense
of time.
121
00:05:15,350 --> 00:05:17,850
She was two hours late
for our wedding.
122
00:05:17,850 --> 00:05:20,350
But we couldn't have started
anyway.
123
00:05:20,350 --> 00:05:22,860
So was the best man.
124
00:05:22,860 --> 00:05:25,360
That should have been your first
clue that Bunny was out there--
125
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,860
Uh, what is keeping her,
anyway?
126
00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:30,360
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie,
what are you worried about?
127
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:32,370
Aren't I always there for you?
128
00:05:32,370 --> 00:05:34,370
You're in court? W-why?
129
00:05:34,370 --> 00:05:37,870
Our case doesn't come up
for another...
130
00:05:37,870 --> 00:05:39,370
Oh, boy.
131
00:05:39,370 --> 00:05:40,880
Okay.
132
00:05:40,870 --> 00:05:42,380
Not a problem.
133
00:05:42,380 --> 00:05:44,880
Lowell, are you sure
this guy's okay?
134
00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,380
Oh, yeah. It says so on his ad.
He's the best.
135
00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:49,880
( sighs )
136
00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:52,390
"Warren Banks,
attorney at law.
137
00:05:52,390 --> 00:05:54,390
He's the best."
Lowell.
138
00:05:54,390 --> 00:05:56,890
You cannot get a lawyer
from a matchbook.
139
00:05:56,890 --> 00:05:59,890
He can. He did. He's Lowell.
Enough said.
140
00:05:59,890 --> 00:06:00,890
Okay.
141
00:06:00,890 --> 00:06:01,900
Okay, heh-heh-heh.
142
00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:03,400
Good morning, folks.
HELEN: Hello.
143
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,900
Now, let's see
what we have here.
144
00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:07,900
The Mather divorce.
145
00:06:07,900 --> 00:06:08,900
Well,
146
00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:11,910
I didn't expect you folks
until...
147
00:06:11,910 --> 00:06:13,910
Oh, boy.
148
00:06:13,910 --> 00:06:15,410
Okay.
149
00:06:15,410 --> 00:06:16,910
Not a problem.
150
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:19,910
Now, if it's of any comfort,
151
00:06:19,910 --> 00:06:21,420
don't think of divorce
as the end.
152
00:06:21,420 --> 00:06:22,920
I'm not married to her.
No. Yeah,
153
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,420
I'm not married to him.
154
00:06:25,420 --> 00:06:26,920
Oh. Heh-heh-heh.
155
00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,420
Don't think of divorce
as the end--
156
00:06:28,420 --> 00:06:30,420
I'm not married to her.
I'm not married to him.
157
00:06:30,420 --> 00:06:32,930
I'm just a friend here.
I'm...
158
00:06:32,930 --> 00:06:34,930
Oh.
159
00:06:39,930 --> 00:06:41,940
Well, I've never done
one of these before.
160
00:06:41,940 --> 00:06:44,440
Now, don't think of divorce
as the end--
161
00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:45,940
No, no. Hey, no, no.
Wait.
162
00:06:45,940 --> 00:06:46,940
She and I are just here
163
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,440
for moral support.
He's the husband,
164
00:06:48,440 --> 00:06:50,440
and the wife's on her way.
Oh.
165
00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:53,450
And it is now 12:03,
and no Bunny.
166
00:06:53,450 --> 00:06:54,950
It's pretty darn clear
167
00:06:54,950 --> 00:06:56,950
that she was too upset
to go through with this.
168
00:06:58,450 --> 00:06:59,950
Hi, everybody.
Sorry I'm late.
169
00:06:59,950 --> 00:07:01,460
It was just
such a beautiful day.
170
00:07:01,460 --> 00:07:02,960
I had to stop for ice cream.
171
00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,460
Oh, hi, Helen.
Hi, Bunny.
172
00:07:04,460 --> 00:07:05,460
Hi, Bunny.
173
00:07:05,460 --> 00:07:07,460
Mm. Joe.
174
00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:08,460
Hi, Lowell.
Hi, Bun--
175
00:07:08,460 --> 00:07:10,460
Hi.
176
00:07:10,460 --> 00:07:12,470
Have we met?
177
00:07:12,470 --> 00:07:13,970
Warren Banks,
attorney at law.
178
00:07:13,970 --> 00:07:15,470
We spoke on the phone.
179
00:07:15,470 --> 00:07:16,970
Oh, yeah.
180
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:19,970
Ah, let me just get the, uh,
necessary paperwork.
181
00:07:19,970 --> 00:07:23,480
So Bunny, are you sure
you wanna go through with this?
182
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:25,980
Well, yeah, I'm sure.
Aren't you?
183
00:07:25,980 --> 00:07:27,980
Ah, sure.
Yeah, I'm sure.
184
00:07:27,980 --> 00:07:30,480
I'm sure. Yep.
185
00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:32,490
So, you know, we've been
screwing around long enough.
186
00:07:32,490 --> 00:07:33,990
Let's make this thing legal.
187
00:07:33,990 --> 00:07:37,990
Oh. That's exactly what he said
when he proposed.
188
00:07:40,490 --> 00:07:42,500
I've, uh, prepared the papers
as we discussed.
189
00:07:42,500 --> 00:07:45,000
All that's left is for you
to sign right here.
190
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,000
Okay.
191
00:07:57,510 --> 00:07:58,510
Well,
192
00:07:58,510 --> 00:07:59,510
that does it. Hm-hm.
193
00:07:59,510 --> 00:08:02,520
I now pronounce you
man and ex-wife.
194
00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:04,020
( laughs )
195
00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:06,020
Just trying to lighten
the moment.
196
00:08:06,020 --> 00:08:10,020
All right.
I am late for court.
197
00:08:15,030 --> 00:08:16,030
JOE:
I don't know what to say.
198
00:08:16,030 --> 00:08:18,530
It's always sad
when a family breaks apart.
199
00:08:18,530 --> 00:08:21,540
I just hope that you'll have
the strength
200
00:08:21,540 --> 00:08:24,540
to pick up the broken pieces
of your shattered lives
201
00:08:24,540 --> 00:08:26,540
and move on.
202
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,040
Thanks for the good thoughts.
203
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:31,550
Now, if you guys
wouldn't mind leaving,
204
00:08:31,550 --> 00:08:33,050
you're really bumming us out.
205
00:08:33,050 --> 00:08:34,550
Yeah.
Right.
206
00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:41,060
So I guess that's it.
207
00:08:41,050 --> 00:08:44,560
Yeah, that's, uh, it,
all right.
208
00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:46,060
We're divorced.
209
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:49,060
So, what are you
gonna do now?
210
00:08:49,060 --> 00:08:53,070
Well, I thought I'd probably
go get some lunch.
211
00:08:53,070 --> 00:08:55,570
Oh, not now, now. I mean,
in your life, now.
212
00:08:55,570 --> 00:08:57,070
Oh.
213
00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:59,070
Haven't really had a chance
to think about it.
214
00:08:59,070 --> 00:09:01,580
Though I'll probably eat lunch
eventually.
215
00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:02,580
( giggles )
216
00:09:03,580 --> 00:09:06,580
Oh, you always could
make me laugh.
217
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:08,580
You know,
when you called,
218
00:09:08,580 --> 00:09:11,090
your voice sounded
so forceful.
219
00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:15,090
Like a man who knew
what he wanted.
220
00:09:15,090 --> 00:09:17,090
Well, heh,
221
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:18,090
you know me, Bunny.
222
00:09:18,090 --> 00:09:20,090
When I know I want something,
223
00:09:20,090 --> 00:09:23,100
it's usually something
that I'm pretty damn sure
224
00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:25,600
that I think I want.
225
00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:28,100
And what do you want now,
Lowell?
226
00:09:28,100 --> 00:09:31,100
Uh, I don't know.
What do you want?
227
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:32,610
( whispers inaudibly )
228
00:09:32,610 --> 00:09:36,610
Hey. You might have mentioned
that before the divorce.
229
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:39,110
We were still married then,
silly.
230
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:48,120
Lowell, is that a wrench
in your pocket?
231
00:09:49,620 --> 00:09:51,130
Sorry.
232
00:09:51,120 --> 00:09:52,630
( upbeat piano theme playing )
233
00:09:56,130 --> 00:09:57,630
( upbeat piano theme playing )
234
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,140
Freshen that up for you?
235
00:10:09,140 --> 00:10:12,150
( muffled groans )
236
00:10:15,650 --> 00:10:17,150
I take it Lowell
kept you up to, huh?
237
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,150
Ah, yeah. Poor guy.
238
00:10:19,150 --> 00:10:21,150
Up all night crying.
239
00:10:21,150 --> 00:10:24,160
"Oh, Bunny. Oh, God, Bunny!"
240
00:10:24,160 --> 00:10:26,160
Oh, come on.
241
00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:27,160
Give him a break.
242
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,660
There's nothing wrong
with crying, is there?
243
00:10:29,660 --> 00:10:32,170
I don't know. What is the deal
with men crying these days?
244
00:10:32,170 --> 00:10:33,670
Is it in or out?
245
00:10:33,670 --> 00:10:35,170
Ah, let's see.
246
00:10:35,170 --> 00:10:38,170
60's was love and sex.
247
00:10:38,170 --> 00:10:40,170
No reason to cry.
248
00:10:42,180 --> 00:10:45,180
70's was a sensitive male.
249
00:10:45,180 --> 00:10:46,680
It was okay to cry.
250
00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:47,680
80's was--
251
00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:50,180
Making money. No crying.
252
00:10:50,180 --> 00:10:51,690
And what's the 90's?
253
00:10:52,690 --> 00:10:54,690
No money, no sex,
254
00:10:54,690 --> 00:10:56,690
nothing to do but cry.
255
00:10:59,190 --> 00:11:00,190
Oye.
256
00:11:00,190 --> 00:11:01,190
JOE: Hey.
BRIAN: Hey, bud.
257
00:11:01,190 --> 00:11:03,700
Morning, Lowell.
Had a rough night there, huh?
258
00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:05,200
Yeah.
259
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,700
Still can't believe
what that woman did to me.
260
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:09,700
Oh, yeah. Divorce is.
It's tough, man.
261
00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:11,710
I mean, yeah,
you're gonna have to expect
262
00:11:11,710 --> 00:11:13,710
a few more nights like that.
263
00:11:13,710 --> 00:11:15,210
Really?
264
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:19,210
Boy, I don't know
if I can take that.
265
00:11:19,210 --> 00:11:21,720
Morning, boys.
266
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:28,220
But it should be fun
finding out.
267
00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:30,720
Lowell, where have you been?
268
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,730
You said you were coming
right back.
269
00:11:32,730 --> 00:11:34,730
Come on.
270
00:11:34,730 --> 00:11:36,730
See ya.
271
00:11:39,230 --> 00:11:40,730
I almost went to his room
last night
272
00:11:40,730 --> 00:11:42,740
to see if I could help.
273
00:11:42,740 --> 00:11:45,240
( upbeat piano theme playing )
274
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,740
( phone rings )
275
00:11:48,740 --> 00:11:51,250
Yo, Betty,
how you doing today?
276
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:53,750
I know. Yes, I know.
277
00:11:53,750 --> 00:11:55,750
It's very difficult.
278
00:11:55,750 --> 00:11:58,750
But you just have to take it
one day at a time.
279
00:11:58,750 --> 00:12:01,760
No, no. I have not seen Phil.
280
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,760
But you know what might
make you feel better?
281
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:08,760
Go downtown and buy yourself
something pretty.
282
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:11,270
( quietly ):
That's what I do.
283
00:12:13,770 --> 00:12:16,270
Fay? Yes, Fay's right here.
284
00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:20,770
Hi, Betty.
How are you today?
285
00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:25,780
Now, now, now.
That's the liquor talking.
286
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,780
She's drunk as a skunk.
287
00:12:30,780 --> 00:12:33,290
Uh, Betty, why don't you
just lie down
288
00:12:33,290 --> 00:12:34,290
and you can call us--
289
00:12:36,290 --> 00:12:39,290
She's okay.
It's just hard on her.
290
00:12:39,290 --> 00:12:41,800
It's hard on all of us.
291
00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:45,300
Oh, come on.
Lowell and Bunny were so loud
292
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:46,800
they kept you up all night?
293
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,300
Morning too.
294
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:49,300
I was halfway down the block,
295
00:12:49,300 --> 00:12:51,300
I could swear I heard them
yodeling.
296
00:12:51,300 --> 00:12:53,810
Now, that doesn't mean anything.
297
00:12:53,810 --> 00:12:55,810
My parents used to yodel
all the time
298
00:12:55,810 --> 00:12:57,310
and they certainly weren't--
299
00:13:01,310 --> 00:13:02,820
Oh, my God.
300
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:06,320
Hey, Brian, Roy.
301
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:07,820
Listen, if I finish early,
302
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:09,820
can I take the rest
of the afternoon off?
303
00:13:09,820 --> 00:13:12,830
Little matinee, Lowell?
304
00:13:12,830 --> 00:13:15,830
No, I can't, Roy.
But thanks.
305
00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:20,330
No, I'm gonna go out and find
an apartment for me and Bunny.
306
00:13:20,330 --> 00:13:22,340
Yeah, I don't know.
With other people in the house,
307
00:13:22,340 --> 00:13:23,840
we feel inhibited.
308
00:13:23,840 --> 00:13:26,840
That was inhibited?
309
00:13:26,840 --> 00:13:29,340
When you were finished,
I smoked a cigarette.
310
00:13:35,350 --> 00:13:36,850
I just don't believe it.
311
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,850
Well, you know Lowell.
No, not Lowell.
312
00:13:38,850 --> 00:13:40,350
I can't believe my parents.
313
00:13:42,360 --> 00:13:45,360
It's funny. Nobody ever believes
their parents do it.
314
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:47,360
If you really wanna
blow your mind,
315
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,860
imagine your grandparents
doing it.
316
00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,870
Could we change the subject?
317
00:13:53,870 --> 00:13:56,370
I find this just a little
distasteful.
318
00:13:56,370 --> 00:13:58,870
Ah. Too distasteful for you?
319
00:13:58,870 --> 00:14:01,880
Look, my mother was a saint.
320
00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:04,380
My father was a pillar
of the community.
321
00:14:04,380 --> 00:14:05,880
The last thing I wanna do
322
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,880
is imagine Mom wrapped
in cellophane,
323
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:10,380
Dad wearing tights
and a miner's helmet.
324
00:14:13,390 --> 00:14:15,390
I didn't wake up and ask
for a drink of water again
325
00:14:15,390 --> 00:14:16,890
for 25 years.
326
00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,400
Hey.
Hey.
327
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:26,900
You guys are not
gonna believe this.
328
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:28,400
What?
329
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,900
I just got a call at the house
from some guy
330
00:14:30,900 --> 00:14:32,910
that says he's Bunny's fiancé.
331
00:14:32,910 --> 00:14:34,910
( chuckles )
HELEN: Oh, wow.
332
00:14:34,910 --> 00:14:36,410
That's gonna kill Lowell.
Yeah.
333
00:14:36,410 --> 00:14:37,910
He's getting ready to go
look for an apartment.
334
00:14:37,910 --> 00:14:39,410
Oh, no.
335
00:14:39,410 --> 00:14:40,910
Somebody's gotta tell him.
336
00:14:43,920 --> 00:14:45,920
Oh, no. No, not this time.
337
00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:47,920
N-no. No way.
It's not gonna be me.
338
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:49,420
I'm not telling him.
339
00:14:49,420 --> 00:14:50,920
No, look, I always get stuck
with this stuff,
340
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:52,430
and this time,
I'm not gonna do it.
341
00:14:52,430 --> 00:14:53,930
I swear to you, it is not--
342
00:14:53,930 --> 00:14:55,930
Well, I'm sure not gonna do it
by myself.
343
00:14:55,930 --> 00:14:57,930
( upbeat piano theme playing )
344
00:15:00,930 --> 00:15:02,940
( upbeat piano theme playing )
345
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,440
Hey. Hey, I was in your cab
a couple of days ago.
346
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,950
Did I by any chance
leave my phone in there?
347
00:15:14,450 --> 00:15:15,950
Phil?
348
00:15:15,950 --> 00:15:17,950
Yeah. Yeah.
How'd you know my name?
349
00:15:19,450 --> 00:15:22,460
You've got a lot of explaining
to do, mister.
350
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:26,960
I know all about you
and Blondie.
351
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,460
And so does Betty.
352
00:15:29,460 --> 00:15:30,960
My wife Betty?
353
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:32,470
How you know Betty?
354
00:15:32,470 --> 00:15:34,470
She called.
355
00:15:34,470 --> 00:15:36,970
And I told her everything.
356
00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:39,470
Her heart is breaking.
357
00:15:39,470 --> 00:15:41,470
Oh, my God.
358
00:15:41,470 --> 00:15:43,480
Look, I--
I didn't do anything.
359
00:15:44,980 --> 00:15:46,480
All right, look, look, look.
360
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:47,480
I did come here
to have an affair,
361
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,980
but I couldn't
go through with it.
362
00:15:48,980 --> 00:15:49,980
Nothing happened.
363
00:15:49,980 --> 00:15:52,490
Ha! Save your lies
for someone else.
364
00:15:52,490 --> 00:15:53,490
No, no. No, no.
365
00:15:53,490 --> 00:15:55,490
I love my wife.
366
00:15:55,490 --> 00:15:57,990
Then don't tell me.
367
00:15:57,990 --> 00:15:59,490
Tell Betty.
368
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,500
Look, I meant what I said.
369
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:06,500
I am not telling Lowell
about Bunny's fiancé.
370
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:08,500
We either do it as a group
or one of you can do it.
371
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:12,510
Well, I have to know a guy a lot
better before I break his heart.
372
00:16:12,510 --> 00:16:16,010
Look, I don't see why any of us
has to tell him at all.
373
00:16:16,010 --> 00:16:18,010
I mean, let Lowell
find out for himself,
374
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:20,510
or let Bunny string him on
for years. Whatever.
375
00:16:20,510 --> 00:16:23,020
I'm so sick and tired
of everybody in this airport
376
00:16:23,020 --> 00:16:25,020
buttin' in to everybody else's
business.
377
00:16:25,020 --> 00:16:28,020
Personally, you know,
I don't really give a damn.
378
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:30,520
Helen Chapel,
I'm ashamed of you.
379
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,530
In fact,
I'm ashamed of all of you.
380
00:16:32,530 --> 00:16:33,530
Lowell is our friend.
381
00:16:33,530 --> 00:16:35,530
And if there's one thing
we do around here,
382
00:16:35,530 --> 00:16:37,030
it's look out for our friends.
383
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:40,030
Well, you may all be afraid
to talk to him,
384
00:16:40,030 --> 00:16:42,540
I'm not.
385
00:16:44,540 --> 00:16:46,540
I knew we could get her
to do it. Ha-ha.
386
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:52,050
Antonio,
I can't thank you enough.
387
00:16:52,050 --> 00:16:53,550
You've saved my marriage.
388
00:16:53,550 --> 00:16:55,550
Ah. It was my pleasure,
Phil.
389
00:16:55,550 --> 00:16:57,050
But, uh, could I ask
a favor?
390
00:16:57,050 --> 00:17:00,050
Do you have a, uh,
picture of Betty?
391
00:17:00,050 --> 00:17:02,060
I'd like to see
who I've been talking to.
392
00:17:02,060 --> 00:17:03,060
Yeah, sure.
393
00:17:05,060 --> 00:17:07,060
Oh, thank you. Yes.
394
00:17:10,060 --> 00:17:14,070
She's, uh, quite--
Quite lovely, yes.
395
00:17:14,070 --> 00:17:15,570
Thanks again.
396
00:17:19,570 --> 00:17:21,570
Woof.
397
00:17:23,580 --> 00:17:26,080
Yeah, Fay. Yeah,
I was just about to go out
398
00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:27,580
and get an apartment
for me and Bunny.
399
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:30,580
Oh. Well, Bunny is sort of what
I wanted to talk to you about.
400
00:17:30,580 --> 00:17:32,090
She's a great girl,
isn't she?
401
00:17:32,090 --> 00:17:34,090
Oh, yes, she is, Lowell. But
there's something about her--
402
00:17:34,090 --> 00:17:35,590
Ah, I know. I know.
403
00:17:35,590 --> 00:17:37,090
I bet it's her laugh.
No,
404
00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:38,590
that's not what I wanted to say,
Lowell.
405
00:17:38,590 --> 00:17:40,090
I know, I know.
406
00:17:40,090 --> 00:17:41,600
I bet it's her smile.
No,
407
00:17:41,590 --> 00:17:43,600
that's not it either.
What I want to tell you--
408
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:45,100
I know, I know.
409
00:17:45,100 --> 00:17:47,100
It's the way her hair
looks all monkey-like
410
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:48,100
in the morning.
411
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:50,100
Uh, sit, Lowell.
412
00:17:51,100 --> 00:17:52,610
Ah. You know,
I bet it's the way--
413
00:17:52,610 --> 00:17:54,110
No, it's the fact
414
00:17:54,110 --> 00:17:57,110
that your ex-wife is engaged
to another man.
415
00:17:58,610 --> 00:18:00,610
While she's been sleeping
with you,
416
00:18:00,610 --> 00:18:03,120
she's had a fiancé in Boston.
417
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:10,120
I'm a little surprised at you,
Fay.
418
00:18:11,620 --> 00:18:14,130
Never thought of you
as a gossip.
419
00:18:14,130 --> 00:18:15,630
I mean, you don't see
the others in here
420
00:18:15,630 --> 00:18:17,130
spreading these rumors.
421
00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:22,140
I'm sure Bunny has a perfectly
good explanation.
422
00:18:22,140 --> 00:18:24,640
( upbeat piano theme playing )
423
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:30,640
Lowell.
424
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:33,150
I didn't expect you home
at this hour.
425
00:18:33,150 --> 00:18:36,150
Interested in a little matinee?
426
00:18:36,150 --> 00:18:37,650
Uh, no thanks, Bunny.
427
00:18:37,650 --> 00:18:39,150
But you know,
you're the second person
428
00:18:39,150 --> 00:18:41,660
to ask me to the movies today.
429
00:18:41,650 --> 00:18:43,160
Anyway, listen.
430
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:45,160
There's something I need you
to clear up.
431
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:46,160
( chuckles )
432
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:49,160
I'm sure when you hear it,
it's gonna make you laugh.
433
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:51,670
Heh. I mean,
I'm laughing already.
434
00:18:51,660 --> 00:18:53,170
What is it, Lowell?
Well,
435
00:18:53,170 --> 00:18:55,170
it's just a little tiny thing.
436
00:18:55,170 --> 00:18:57,670
And I'm sure you have
a perfectly good explanation.
437
00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:59,170
But, heh,
438
00:18:59,170 --> 00:19:01,170
Fay told me
439
00:19:01,170 --> 00:19:03,680
that you have a fiancé
in Boston.
440
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:06,180
Oh, he just calls himself
my fiancé
441
00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:09,680
'cause he asked me to marry him
and I said yes.
442
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:13,690
Well, it's not like
we set a date or anything.
443
00:19:13,690 --> 00:19:18,190
It's not exactly the explanation
I was hoping for.
444
00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:21,190
Uh, but it does explain
a few other things.
445
00:19:21,190 --> 00:19:24,200
Like the time
that you went to L.A.
446
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:25,700
during Superbowl weekend
447
00:19:25,700 --> 00:19:27,700
for your grandfather's
funeral.
448
00:19:27,700 --> 00:19:30,700
And the time that you went
to Fort Lauderdale
449
00:19:30,700 --> 00:19:31,700
during spring break
450
00:19:31,700 --> 00:19:34,710
for your other grandfather's
funeral.
451
00:19:34,710 --> 00:19:38,210
And the time you went
to New Orleans for Mardi Gras
452
00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:41,210
for your other grandfather's
funeral.
453
00:19:41,210 --> 00:19:43,220
I can explain.
454
00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:46,720
Lowell, I love you a lot,
455
00:19:46,720 --> 00:19:48,220
but I don't think
I'm cut out to be married.
456
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:50,220
I-I'm just no good at it.
457
00:19:50,220 --> 00:19:52,730
I'm a lousy wife.
458
00:19:52,730 --> 00:19:55,730
But you have to admit
I'm a great ex-wife.
459
00:19:58,730 --> 00:19:59,730
Wait.
460
00:19:59,730 --> 00:20:02,240
Bunny.
461
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,740
I need more than that.
462
00:20:04,740 --> 00:20:08,240
I just don't think
I can give you that.
463
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:10,740
Well,
464
00:20:10,740 --> 00:20:13,750
then I think
we should be separated.
465
00:20:13,750 --> 00:20:16,250
But we're already divorced.
466
00:20:16,250 --> 00:20:19,250
No, I mean physically
separated.
467
00:20:20,250 --> 00:20:22,260
So that's it?
468
00:20:23,260 --> 00:20:24,760
Yeah.
469
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:26,760
That's it.
470
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:30,260
Gee, I hope this doesn't mean
we can't see each other anymore.
471
00:20:30,260 --> 00:20:33,270
No, we can still see
each other.
472
00:20:33,270 --> 00:20:36,270
We just can't see
each other naked.
473
00:20:36,270 --> 00:20:37,770
Oh.
474
00:20:39,270 --> 00:20:41,270
One last kiss?
475
00:20:41,270 --> 00:20:42,280
Sure.
476
00:20:45,780 --> 00:20:47,280
( door opens )
477
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,780
Whoa. Sorry.
478
00:20:48,780 --> 00:20:50,780
Oh, no, that's all right,
Joe.
479
00:20:50,780 --> 00:20:52,790
I have to be getting back
to Boston.
480
00:21:00,290 --> 00:21:02,300
Bye-bye, Lowell.
481
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:09,800
Bye-bye, Bunny.
482
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,310
You okay, Lowell?
483
00:21:12,310 --> 00:21:13,310
Yeah.
484
00:21:13,310 --> 00:21:15,310
Yeah, I'm all right.
485
00:21:15,310 --> 00:21:17,310
Anything we can do,
I'm here for you, all right?
486
00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:19,310
Thanks, Joe.
487
00:21:19,310 --> 00:21:21,310
Listen, are you busy
this afternoon?
488
00:21:21,310 --> 00:21:23,320
I wouldn't mind some company.
489
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,820
Sure.
What did you have in mind?
490
00:21:25,820 --> 00:21:28,820
How about a little matinee?
491
00:21:30,820 --> 00:21:32,330
Huh?
492
00:21:32,330 --> 00:21:34,830
Apparently, there's some
hot new movie playing downtown.
493
00:21:34,830 --> 00:21:36,830
Everybody's talking about it.
494
00:21:36,830 --> 00:21:39,330
( upbeat piano theme playing )
495
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:56,350
( upbeat piano theme playing )
34500
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