Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: {1}{1}23.976 {1135}{1213}I, Reuben, take you, Lisa-- {1262}{1343}I, Reuben, take you, Lisa, {1345}{1397}to be my lawfully wedded wife. {1398}{1457}I do. I do. {1521}{1581}Hey, Lois.|The room looks beautiful. {1583}{1634}Oh, thanks. And all the candles|have been replaced... {1636}{1697}with these mini-lamps you asked for,|so now no more fire hazard.|Great. {1698}{1764}Hey, did we sanitize these things?|Reuben! {1766}{1850}- The best man is in the house! Ohh!|- Oh! {1852}{1898}- Oh, my God!|- Sandy, you okay? {1900}{1952}Jorg�, ice.|The best man went down. {1954}{2034}Dance floor's like a Slip 'N Slide, dude.|I thought I told them not to wax this. {2036}{2082}Twenty-three percent of the guests|are over 7 0. {2084}{2159}I don't want anyone breaking a hip.|Okay. Don't worry.|l'm gonna take care of it. {2161}{2228}All right. I analyze risk for a living.|lt's my job to worry. {2230}{2285}Okay, let me do the worrying|'cause you gotta get married.|Right. {2286}{2346}l'm good. {2348}{2421}You got my note that|Harry Bard at table seven|is violently allergic to seafood? {2422}{2481}Yes. His chicken will go|nowhere near the fish. {2482}{2564}We're putting the finishing touches|on the cake.|This looks great. Lisa's gonna love it. {2578}{2614}Hit me, dude. {2774}{2846}Hey, aren't you that kid|from Crocodile Tears? {2848}{2894}That's right. l'm Sandy Lyle. {2895}{2942}Man, I saw that movie in high school. {2944}{2997}That bagpipe scene,|that was the funniest shit, man. {2999}{3050}We had a good time on that picture.|You want an autograph? {3052}{3104}Ah, no, thanks.|lt's good to see you, man. {3106}{3178}I thought you died,|like, 1 5 years ago. {3214}{3301}Ah. Nah.|l'm very much alive, my friend. {3303}{3353}l've been doing a lot of stage acting.|Getting back to my roots. {3355}{3402}- Sandy, we should get going 'cause--|- They're making an|E! True Hollywood Story on me, {3403}{3449}so that should clear up|a lot of your questions. {3450}{3497}So they're really doing|one of those shows about your life? {3498}{3553}Yeah. I got a camera crew|following me around|the next few weeks. {3555}{3610}lt's gonna be huge.|Wow. That's cool. {3612}{3677}Reuben. Two-minute warning.|Lisa's on her way down.|Okay, thanks. {3679}{3751}Look, Reuben.|Yeah. {3753}{3804}Now, l'm asking you this because|you're my oldest friend in the world. {3806}{3852}Uh-huh.|And l'm your wingman. {3854}{3910}Okay. What? {3912}{3992}Are you sure you wanna do this? {3994}{4117}Sandy, there's not a doubt|in my mind. {4119}{4201}Okay? I found the perfect woman. {4202}{4255}We're totally in love. {4257}{4312}My life's working out|just like I planned. {4314}{4401}Let's go get married.|Okay. {4403}{4464}- [ Glass Breaks ]|- Mazel tov! {4466}{4519}Go on. Kiss each other. {4640}{4726}Big smile, everyone!|Come on. You love each other. {4728}{4782}Smile, Grandma. {4784}{4822}Having fun. {4824}{4894}- ["Hava Nagila"]|- [ Yelling ] {4896}{4946}Whoa!|[ Screams ] {4948}{4994}[ Cloth Rips ]|Ohh! {4996}{5090}Hello, everybody.|l'm Stan lndursky, Reuben's boss. {5092}{5125}Thank you. You"re very kind. {5126}{5198}Now, Reub's not the sort of fellow|to brag about his own success, {5200}{5246}so l'm going to do it for him. {5248}{5305}The fact is, this young man here... {5306}{5370}is the best risk assessment expert... {5372}{5445}in this whole meshugas|we call the insurance business. {5446}{5522}lrving, Vivian,|you"ve raised a wonderful son. {5524}{5570}Let"s hear it for him. {5571}{5672}Reuben, Lisa, let me just say... {5674}{5778}that I would insure your marriage|any day of the week. {5780}{5826}Mazel, you two. Good things. {5828}{5884}[ Woman ]|Mazel Tov! {5886}{5978}Oh, and, Lisa, don't tire him out|too bad on the honeymoon. {5979}{6073}- I need this kid fresh when he gets back.|- [ Laughing ] {6074}{6155}- Mazel, mazel! Good things.|- You know what, the truth is, {6157}{6232}l've been waiting for this day|my entire life. {6234}{6325}And about four and a half years ago,|I met a real estate agent named|Lisa Kramer, {6326}{6390}[ Woman ]|Lisa!|who showed me an apartment, {6392}{6444}which I rented|just so she'd go out with me. {6446}{6498}I gave him a good price.|Yeah, not good enough. {6500}{6565}She's a killer. No, seriously, um-- {6566}{6648}After about a month of dating,|I knew she was the one. {6650}{6744}[ Woman ] Aw.|And I couldn't be happier... {6746}{6825}that on this day that l've been|dreaming about for so long, {6826}{6931}the woman l'm standing|next to... is you. {7536}{7609}[ Lisa Laughing ]|Oh, my goodness! {7611}{7667}I lost my shoe!|Look at this place! {7669}{7719}Oh, it's so pretty!|lt's beautiful. {7721}{7780}What?|[ Screams ] {7997}{8050}How's your bruise?|lt's okay. {8052}{8117}You know, it's a little sore. {8118}{8212}You know, they really should tell you|if they"rejust gonna let komodo dragons|run loose around the hotel. {8214}{8260}Really. {8300}{8382}Oh! How about this one? {8383}{8509}Let's see. "Recently renovated colonial|in Montclair, three-bedroom." {8511}{8582}Sweetie, remember?|We took a virtual tour of this one|on the lnternet. {8584}{8637}lt was perfect,|but just a little pricey. {8638}{8707}Oh, right, right. That's right. {8709}{8755}lt's probably off the market anyway. {8757}{8803}Why do you say that? {8805}{8868}'Cause I bought it. {8870}{8918}You what? {8920}{8977}I bought it! {9004}{9061}Uh--|[ Both Laughing ] {9062}{9161}Reuben, l'm in shock.|I mean, you just--you don't--|you don't do things like that. {9162}{9212}You love it, right?|Yes, I do, but, Reuby-- {9214}{9265}We have a house!|Oh, my God,|we have a house! {9267}{9314}Honey! {9330}{9381}- Hi. Hello.|- [ Laughs ]|Oh! {9383}{9442}- [ French Accent]|How's it going?|- [ Chuckles ] {9443}{9517}Uh, it's, uh, going great.|Thank you. {9518}{9632}So I see you gang are new to the island.|I want to come have a meet with you,|show you my boat. {9634}{9689}That is my boat there|on the sandbar. {9691}{9798}- lt's very, uh, big.|- Yeah, it's pretty good size.|lt's good size. {9799}{9888}So, tell me true,|are you guys for scuba? {9890}{9936}What does that mean? {9938}{10001}l"m like the unofficial|scuba king of St. Barts, {10003}{10060}so if you are for scuba,|I take you out on the boat, {10062}{10109}I show you the coral reef, {10110}{10168}and we have kinda like a--|like a scuba party. {10170}{10253}That sounds great,|but we're not certified,|so we're gonna have to pass. {10255}{10334}That is no biggie.|I get you resort-certified|couple of hour. {10336}{10425}- Oh, I have always wanted to try it.|- Yeah? {10426}{10480}Good. My name is Claude.|What is, uh, you guys' name? {10482}{10529}Uh, my name is Reuben. {10530}{10609}This is my wife, Lisa.|"Leuban, "|I am here all afternoon. {10610}{10690}All right, au revoir, Leuban, Lisa. Solid. {10692}{10747}Solid. {10749}{10802}Hi. Hello.|How's it going? {10927}{10974}Leuban! Lisa! {10975}{11021}Hey.|Hi! {11022}{11061}Hello. {11063}{11178}lsn't this exciting?|lt is. lt's fun. {11180}{11242}You know what? I think l'm gonna|skip the scuba diving. {11244}{11329}Reuben, no. You called eight hotels.|They all said that this guy was the best. {11330}{11404}I know, but you know|how I am about boats,|and l'm feeling a little queasy. {11406}{11452}Oh, no.|Your stomach's acting funny? {11454}{11536}lt's okay now, but I think it might--|You know how it gets, you know?|So why don't you go? {11538}{11585}We're on our honeymoon.|l'm not gonna go without you. {11587}{11664}No! You've been wanting to try this.|I want you to go, okay? {11666}{11740}No.|lt'll be fun. l'll pick you up|like at 4:00, all right? {11742}{11805}I love you.|I love you too. {11886}{11940}Okay? Okay. {11980}{12034}You're not for scuba, Leuban?|No, Claude. {12036}{12101}- l'm gonna go run some errands in town.|- [ Scoffs ] {12103}{12145}But you guys go. You have fun.|Can I talk to you for a second though? {12147}{12217}- Of course.|- [ No Audible Dialogue ] {12242}{12342}Hey, listen, this woman means more|to me than anything else in the world, {12344}{12440}so be careful 'cause scuba can be|very dangerous if the proper|precautions aren't taken. {12442}{12519}Leuban, look to me in my eyeball. {12521}{12633}I promise you I take care of Lisa|as if she were my own flesh and blood. {12634}{12681}Thank you.|Okay? {12682}{12718}Okay.|Okay. Solid! {12720}{12754}Okay. Solid.|Okay. {12811}{12863}All right? Are you ready?|Yeah, yeah. {12865}{12930}So is there gonna be|a little boat that comes over--|Alley-oop. {12932}{13006}[ Screams ]|Oh! {13008}{13061}Ha ha! {13062}{13113}Au revoir, Leuban.|Bye-bye, honey! {13114}{13174}I love you!|I love you! {13175}{13260}We"rejammin"|Jammin; jammin; jammin" {13262}{13332}l"m jammed|I hope you"rejammin"too {13370}{13466}Jam"s about my pride|and truth I cannot hide {13468}{13545}To keep you satisfied {13547}{13621}True love that now exist|is the love I can"t resist {13622}{13686}Lisa! Claude!|Sojam by my side {13727}{13805}Guys? Hello!|We"rejammin" {13845}{13891}Lisa? {13962}{14026}Knock, knock!|[ Metal Clanging ] {14028}{14074}Oh, my God. {14076}{14153}[ Lisa Moaning ]|Ooh la la! Ooh la la! {14154}{14202}[ Glass Shatters ]|Oh, my God! {14204}{14293}Holy shit, Leuban!|This is not what it look like. {14294}{14390}- You're staying on the island with Claude?|- l'm a little confused right now, Reuben. {14392}{14445}I think I need a little time|just to figure things out. {14446}{14518}What did you do to her?|Did you mess around with her|oxygen tanks or something? {14519}{14605}I did nothing, Leuban.|My name is not "Leuban"!|lt is "Reuben"! {14607}{14693}Look, we had a scuba,|we talk about life,|we drink some white wine. {14695}{14761}We cannot help it.|lt is like love at first sight. {14762}{14829}She make like the fire in my trouser. {14830}{14937}- Ohh!|- What he's trying to say, Reuben,|is that we didn't plan it. {14939}{14989}Reuben, itjust--it happened. {14990}{15038}lt's like the story of the hippo. {15040}{15104}l'm not familiar with that story. {15106}{15216}The hippopotamus, he is not born|going, "Cool bean, I am a hippo."|No way,Jos�. {15218}{15341}So he tried to paint the stripe on himself|to be like the zebra, but he fool no one. {15342}{15431}And then he tried to put the spot|on his skin to be like the leopard, {15433}{15484}but everyone know he is a hippo. {15486}{15597}So at certain point,|he look himself in the mirror,|and hejust say, {15598}{15709}"Hey, I am a hippopotamus,|and there is nothing I can do about it." {15710}{15813}And as soon as he accepts this,|he live life happy. {15815}{15873}Happy as a hippo. {15874}{15921}You understand? {15983}{16061}- l'm gonna kill you!|- Reuben! No, Reuben! {16063}{16124}- [ Gasps ]|- Leuban, this is not the way! {16194}{16297}You're gonna be fine, Reuben.|No, l'm not gonna be fine. {16299}{16361}l'm not gonna be fine at all. {16363}{16446}- [ Engine Starts ]|- And don't come back to me|when you've changed your mind! {16448}{16507}'Cause this ship has sailed. {16509}{16565}[ Screams ]|[ Horn Honks ] {18154}{18229}Hey, Tina. Hey, Mitch. {18231}{18278}Hey, Reub. {18322}{18420}- Cheryl.|- Hey. {18422}{18469}[ Chattering Stops ] {18552}{18602}[ Phone Ringing ]|[ Woman ]|lndursky and Sons, how may I help you? {18604}{18665}[ Chattering Resumes ] {18762}{18817}What? {18906}{18977}How does everyone|know about this? {18978}{19087}Your mother called Mr. lndursky|and told him what happened. {19089}{19165}I am so sorry, Reuben.|Thanks, Gladys. {19166}{19214}Come here.|Oh. Okay. {19215}{19262}Thank you. All right. {19263}{19341}I know, I know.|Okay. {19343}{19405}Fuck. Hey, there he is! {19407}{19486}The big man"s back.|Hey. {19488}{19553}Reub, come on in here.|I want to spitball something with you. {19555}{19656}All right. Can you give me a minute, Stan?|l'm just gonna run to the men's room. {19658}{19725}l'll join you. {19726}{19790}I heard about your honeymoon. {19792}{19846}Just terrible. {19848}{19908}I knew that girl was a slut|the second I met her. {19943}{19990}Yeah, well, you know,|it's kind of complicated. {19992}{20089}Hey, don't make excuses.|She's a dime-store hooker,|and she always will be. {20090}{20171}Just put it behind you.|Speaking of which, {20173}{20248}you ever hear of a guy|named Leland Van Lew? {20250}{20309}Um, Leland Van Lew.|Yeah, yeah. {20311}{20383}Australian guy, right?|Um, was on the cover|of Forbes last year? {20385}{20431}Exactly.|[ Farts ] {20433}{20499}[ Urinating ]|Yeah, he started one of|those high-tech, modem-scrotum, {20501}{20547}God only knows what they do|companies anyway. {20549}{20630}Jesus Christ. They want to take|the company public, {20632}{20710}and if he wants to remain the C.E.O.|of a publicly held company,|guess what he needs. {20712}{20765}Life insurance.|Bingo was his name. {20767}{20832}All right, you want me|to check him out?|Yeah. {20834}{20902}There's just one catch.|[ Urinating Continues ] {20904}{20960}Yeah?|This Van Lew has|a reputation as a cowboy. {20962}{21040}Apparently, he's one of these|extreme sports nuts. {21042}{21113}[ Splashing ]|So it's a long shot, {21115}{21173}but if you can|pull this thing together,|[ Zips ] {21174}{21221}might be a lot of dough in it for us, {21222}{21290}maybe a little extra bonus for you,|help you with those house payments. {21292}{21392}All right. Well, let's make sure|he checks out first and--|You see? {21394}{21506}This is why you're the only one|I can trust with these jobs. {21508}{21602}I was worried that you'd|been through hell and back|with that whore wife of yours. {21603}{21653}You sure you don't need|some more time off? {21654}{21701}Mm-hmm. l'm good.|Absolutely sure? {21702}{21777}Yeah, no, l'm fine.|Yeah? All right? {21779}{21826}All right, good things. {22127}{22174}[ Car Door Closes ] {22246}{22292}[ Man On Megaphone ]|Excuse me. {22294}{22370}This is private property.|Oh, yeah. No, I know. {22372}{22461}I just bought this house.|I move in next month. {22463}{22525}Oh, sure. Mr. Phifer, right?|Feffer. {22527}{22574}Yeah, but you can just call me Reuben. {22576}{22661}- Okay, then.|Welcome to the neighborhood.|- Thanks. {22709}{22757}[ On Megaphone ]|Sorry about your wife, Reuben. {22886}{22949}[ Reuben ]|First of all, I just want to say thank you|to everybody for coming out, {22950}{23013}and this has just been|an incredible day and night. {23015}{23157}lt"s just so great to see all these people,|friends and family and--|[ Doorbell Rings ] {23158}{23244}To tell you the truth, l"ve been|waiting for this day my entire life. {23290}{23358}l'm so sorry, Reuben.|Oh. Thanks. {23360}{23426}Thanks, Sandy.|Whatever you need,|l'm here for you, brother. {23428}{23474}Thank you.|We're rolling. {23476}{23508}Hey!|Sound speed. {23510}{23572}What the hell is this?|You remember Dustin and Vic. {23574}{23641}- They're doing the|E! True Hollywood Story on me.|- Right. {23643}{23702}Sorry about your wife. {23703}{23763}Sandy, do you want us over here?|Put it over by the table. {23765}{23817}Are you sure?|Yeah. {23860}{23930}ls this better?|Oh, yeah, thanks. {23931}{23978}Look, you can forget it.|l'm not going to a party. {23979}{24077}What do you think is gonna happen?|Lisa's gonna come waltzing through|that door, saying she made a mistake? {24078}{24138}No, of course not. l'm just--- {24139}{24186}l'm trying to make sense|out of what the hell she did. {24187}{24234}I mean, what can I say?|You"re my best friend. {24236}{24321}Oh, oh! Hold on.|Let me see something here.|You"re my partner. {24323}{24378}You"re my wife.|Man, it feels good to say that! {24380}{24428}Ah, and, uh-- {24430}{24538}[ Tape Rewinding ]|You're my wife.|Man, it feels good to say that! {24644}{24734}- What?|- Check out her expression.|She's terrified. {24811}{24920}- She's smiling.|- l'm a student of acting, Reuben. {24922}{24968}She's faking it. {24970}{25020}The woman got spooked. {25022}{25081}She needed to explore,|which is exactly what you're gonna do. {25082}{25141}You've been given the gift of freedom.|Don't turn your back on that. {25142}{25209}I don't want freedom, Sandy!|I want to be married! {25211}{25300}I bought a goddamn house!|I got to move out of this apartment|in like six weeks! {25302}{25365}- [ Laughing ]|- Look at her. {25367}{25470}She"s not thinking about having|a deep, committed relationship... {25472}{25578}with a complex individual|like yourself. {25617}{25726}- She's not?|- No! She"s daydreaming about having|hot, shallow sex with a French nudist! {25728}{25832}"Oh, l"m hugging.|Oh, I love you so much. "Liar! {25834}{25899}[ Elevator Motor Whirring ]|So whose party is this again? {25901}{25983}lt's an art opening|for this Dutch guy,Jost. {25985}{26049}His art sucks, but he used to sell me|really good pot. {26117}{26210}Oh, man, l'm so friggin' horny. {26212}{26272}[ Dance ] {26331}{26391}Look,just don't|leave me alone, okay? {26393}{26439}I haven't been to a party|by myself in a long time. {26441}{26487}Relax. l'm your wingman. {26489}{26576}l'll be right by your side|the whole time. {26578}{26639}So what do we do?|Do we, like, get a drink... {26641}{26697}or take a lap around the-- {26736}{26822}Sandy? {27071}{27121}- More wine?|- Sure. {27158}{27230}- Thank you.|- This party is so boring, {27231}{27303}and there are no cute guys here.|I haven't noticed. {27305}{27351}l'm appreciating the art. {27353}{27399}l'm not looking for cute guys. {27401}{27460}Oh, so you've sworn off men since|you dumped your last boyfriend? {27462}{27532}He was not my boyfriend.|We went out for like three days.|lt was two months! {27534}{27580}Really?|Yeah. {27806}{27860}I hope he doesn"t have|to buy that now. {28056}{28158}Oh, my God!|I think I know that guy. {28160}{28206}[ Bell Rings ] {28347}{28394}Reuben? {28396}{28442}You're Reuben Feffer, right? {28444}{28549}Uh, yes.|l'm Polly... Prince. {28550}{28650}We went to junior high|or middle school or|whatever it's called together. {28652}{28704}You were next to me--|Yeah! Polly Prince! {28706}{28776}Yes!|No, it's coming back to me now.|You left before high school. {28778}{28857}Yeah, after seventh grade.|My mom and l, we moved to Michigan. {28859}{28944}And now you live here in New York?|Yeah, moved here|a few months ago. {28946}{29017}So, you know-- Yup.|Wow. {29018}{29069}[ Giggles ] {29070}{29150}Friend of yours?|Yeah, that's Roxanne. {29152}{29253}She does that with,|uh, bread, wine bottles and-- {29255}{29356}Anyway, uh, so what's your deal?|You've got to be married with kids... {29358}{29404}and the whole thing. {29406}{29505}No, l'm not. l'm single.|Yeah, I haven't taken the plunge. {29507}{29558}- Oh.|- Can I talk to you for a sec? {29560}{29681}Yeah. Hey, Sandy, this is Polly Prince.|Remember? From middle school?|Hey, how you doing? {29683}{29764}Wow. Okay. Sandy Lyle. {29766}{29877}Last time I saw you, you were|playing bagpipes in that movie. {29879}{29924}Croco Tears.|Yep, that's me. {29926}{29986}[ Laughs ]|Polly, can I have a word with you? {29988}{30049}Yeah. Sorry.|Excuse us. {30051}{30142}What happened to you?|Reuben, l'm in a situation here.|We have to leave now. {30144}{30193}No. Can we stay|a couple more minutes?|Dude, no. {30195}{30266}This is serious.|I just sharted. {30268}{30328}I don't know what that means.|I tried to fart|and a little shit came out. {30330}{30397}I just sharted. Now let's go. {30440}{30516}You're the most disgusting person|l've ever met in my life. {30518}{30578}You have to walk around|and pour wine.|Mm-hmm. {30580}{30637}Polly?|Focus for one second, okay?|l'm sorry. {30720}{30810}So, hey, guy.|I got to go circulate.|[ Chuckles ] {30812}{30904}Um, but-- So, Sandy,|you're good though?|You're still acting? {30906}{30973}I am. Yeah. lt's going incredibly well. {30974}{31049}l'm actually headlining a new revival|of jesus Christ Superstar. {31051}{31098}That's great!|Yeah. {31099}{31157}Well, it was really good|seeing you guys.|Yeah, you too. {31158}{31205}Okay. See ya.|All right. Bye, Polly. {31206}{31273}- Be good.|- Bye. More wine? {31275}{31334}Polly Prince. {31336}{31389}lt's funny, huh? Seeing her. {31391}{31481}Are you okay?|Great. Thank you. {31482}{31542}Huh. She looks good. {31582}{31632}Let it rain! {31634}{31728}So I did a lot of thinking last night,|and there's something|l'm pretty excited about. {31730}{31787}What's up? Nice. {31789}{31900}Let it rain!|I feel like I might be ready to move on. {31902}{31952}You know, get my life back on track. {31954}{32034}So, I am going to ask|Polly Prince on a date. {32036}{32116}Oh, that's a mistake!|She's not right for you, dude. {32118}{32173}Rain dance! {32175}{32237}Hey, you guys|want to play some twos? {32239}{32329}Actually, we're kind of|in the middle of a conversation, so--|You douche bags bring your "A" game? {32330}{32377}What was that? {32378}{32464}l'm just messing with you,|sasquatch. Let's get it on. {32490}{32580}Pick and roll! Pick and roll!|Outlet! Outlet! {32582}{32663}Rain dance!|Sandy, come on. {32665}{32712}Sandy! Sandy! Sandy! {32714}{32756}[Yells]|Sandy! {32758}{32797}Sandy!|White chocolate! {32832}{32885}Raindrop! {32887}{32941}Old school! {32942}{32993}"T." " T." {32994}{33073}Time-out. l'm burning.|My lungs are burning. {33074}{33174}Time-out. Time-out.|So why do you think|Polly's so wrong for me? {33176}{33232}[ Panting ] {33234}{33281}You don't even know|this girl, Reuben. {33282}{33329}You haven't seen her|since seventh grade. {33330}{33416}How different could she be?|I mean, she was a senior delegate|at the Model U.N. {33418}{33478}She was in the chess club.|She was a "mathlete." {33480}{33550}Her yearbook stats are really impressive.|Did you see the tattoo on her back? {33551}{33594}Yeah. So what? {33596}{33672}Mathletes don't wear body art|like that. 'Nuff said. Ball in! {33674}{33763}I really feel like|I ran into Polly for a reason. {33765}{33825}Really. I mean, l'm sorry|if you don't agree, Sandy, {33827}{33888}but I happen to believe|in a little thing called destiny. {33966}{34014}You guys ready? {34042}{34109}You know what? You think maybe|you could put your shirt back on? {34139}{34186}You guys ready to play? {34355}{34405}Good shot. Good shot. {34407}{34468}Could I have the ball for a second?|Could I have the ball? {34628}{34679}Hey, you know what?|Could we switch? {34681}{34768}l'd rather not, dude. I just found out|how to cover this man right here, okay? {34770}{34816}Come on, let's play. {35089}{35159}[ Groans ] {35290}{35337}Ohh! {35384}{35443}Yes, can I get the number|for a Polly Prince, please? {35445}{35491}Prince with a "P." {35560}{35625}Okay, great.|And can I get the address as well? {35870}{35940}[ Beeps ]|[ Line Ringing ] {35942}{35989}[ Polly ]|Hello? {36086}{36148}[ Phone Ringing ] {36150}{36232}- Oh, shit!|- [ Ringing Continues ] {36234}{36280}[ Answering Machine ]|Hi. This is Reuben.|No! {36282}{36328}I am unable to get|to the phone right now,|No! No! {36330}{36388}but please leave a detailed message|after the beep. {36390}{36436}lf you're calling for-- {36631}{36687}Yeah {36749}{36795}Yeah {36849}{36981}Yeah, l"ve always been this way {36983}{37090}Never known any other way to feel {37091}{37209}Got the right of way {37210}{37293}And all of the others must yield {37295}{37397}But l"m naked {37399}{37446}And l"m in school {37447}{37494}Oh. {37495}{37592}And I can"t make it {37594}{37645}To the door|Polly? {37646}{37688}[ Cell Phone Beeps ] {37690}{37753}Gladys, I got to call you back. {37754}{37817}Reuben?|[ Laughs ]|Hey! {37818}{37908}Hi.|Hi. This is so funny.|I didn't know you lived down here. {37910}{37980}Yeah, yeah, I do.|Hey, do you live around here too? {37982}{38049}Yeah. No, I don't.|I don't live down here. {38106}{38165}Hey. Did you call me last night? {38167}{38253}Um, no, I don't think so. {38255}{38316}Are you sure?|'Cause I got a hang-up, {38318}{38442}so I did that star-69 thingy,|and I swore I got your answering machine. {38444}{38502}Really? You know,|I heard that from a few people. {38504}{38581}So maybe, I don't know, the phone lines|got crossed or something. {38582}{38653}Oh, you doing some shopping?|Oh. Yeah. {38654}{38762}l-- Gosh. I spent like|200 bucks on this loofah.|Hmm. {38764}{38845}And it's supposed to be like|specially made in Sweden or something. {38847}{38894}Wow.|So, yeah. {38896}{38973}Would you like to go|to dinner sometime?|Oh. {38975}{39064}Oh, yeah. Okay.|You know, l'm not-- l'm not sure. {39066}{39121}Okay. Really? {39123}{39185}I mean, not that I wouldn't--|l'd like to. {39186}{39266}lt'd be great to catch up|on stuff and all that. I just-- {39268}{39370}I got to check my schedule.|All right, well, how about|l'll give you my card. {39372}{39421}Here you go.|Okay. {39423}{39498}Ah!|And on the back l've written|my home and my cell number, so-- {39500}{39549}There's also a fax number.|Right on. {39550}{39597}And, um, there's|a pager number too. {39598}{39677}Reuben Feffer,|senior risk assessment "analysist."|Right. {39679}{39725}Analyst.|Analyst. Analyst. {39726}{39766}Yeah.|Right. Right. {39768}{39857}- All right.|- [ Keys Jingling ] {39859}{39924}- l'll see you.|- See ya. {39954}{40001}Oh. {40002}{40049}See ya.|See you later. {40150}{40228}[ Fanfare ] {40230}{40276}Leland Van Lew's office.|This is Deborah. {40278}{40357}Hey, Deborah. lt's Reuben Feffer from|lndursky and Sons calling for Mr. Van Lew. {40359}{40450}Ah, right. The insurance man.|l'm afraid Leland's in the hospital. {40452}{40517}He got bit while swimming|with great whites last week.|l"m sorry? {40518}{40570}Swimming with who?|Great white sharks.|But don't worry. {40572}{40628}lt was only a flesh wound.|[ Phone Ringing ] {40682}{40749}Gladys!|He's due in Los Angeles next week. {40751}{40813}Should I set something up for then?|Okay, you know what, Deborah?|Could you hang on one second, please? {40815}{40862}No worries.|Reuben Feffer. {40863}{40910}Hi, Reuben.|lt's Polly Prince. {40911}{41006}Oh, hey, Polly! How's it going?|Good. {41008}{41097}l'm just calling to say that, um,|l'm free tomorrow night|if you want to get together. {41098}{41175}Yeah, I would love to get together.|That'd be great. {41177}{41236}Should l, um--|Should I pick a restaurant or-- {41238}{41344}Oh, no, no. You know what?|I should probably just check|my schedule, see if I can even do it. {41346}{41460}Okay. l'm--|Did you say you were free? {41462}{41534}Yeah, no, l'm actually not sure.|But okay, l'll talk to you later. {41536}{41606}Bye.|Hello. Okay. Hello.|Hello, Polly? {41608}{41661}[ Man ]|One, two, three and-- {41662}{41710}What"s the buzz|Tell me what"s a-happenin" {41712}{41761}What"s the buzz|Tell me what"s a-happenin" {41763}{41812}What"s the buzz|Tell me what"s a-happenin" {41814}{41866}What's the buzz|Tell me what's a-happenin' {41868}{41918}What's the buzz|Tell me what's a-happenin' {41920}{41966}What's the buzz|Tell me what's a-happenin' {41968}{42030}Why should you want to know {42032}{42128}Don't you mind about the future {42130}{42230}Don't you try to think ahead|Uh, Sandy? {42232}{42313}Save tomorrow for tomorrow {42346}{42397}Think about today instead|Sandy! {42398}{42445}What? {42446}{42501}l'm playing Jesus.|That's my song. {42503}{42594}I know it"s your song, but I felt something,|and I decided to go with it. {42596}{42652}But you're playing Judas. {42654}{42746}Judas. All right, look. Here's the deal.|l'm the star of the show, okay? {42748}{42860}So if I decide to bust out a solo,|do me a favor and give me|the freedom to rock out. {42862}{42898}From the top, okay, Wonsuk? {42900}{42947}So the play's going well? {42949}{42995}Yeah, I think it's gonna be fun. {42997}{43044}I mean, I just wish they wouldn't|surround me with a bunch of amateurs. {43046}{43164}Uh-huh. lsn't that like|the point of community theater?|Whatever, Reuben. {43166}{43212}So l'm going on a date with Polly. {43214}{43265}All right! Where are you taking her? {43267}{43320}I don't know.|Some restaurant in the East Village. {43322}{43391}She left the address on my machine. {43393}{43481}How could you let Polly|pick the restaurant? {43482}{43535}Well, I had no choice.|She called me, like, seven times... {43537}{43600}to confirm and then cancel|and then confirm again. {43602}{43654}Why? What's wrong with|letting her pick the place? {43656}{43761}You've got irritable|bowel syndrome, dude. {43762}{43850}lf she chose an ethnic restaurant,|you're gonna be running to|the bathroom every five seconds. {43888}{43934}Oh, my God. You're right. {43936}{43993}Thank you. {43995}{44085}You know, I doubt it'll get this far,|but if she turns out to be|easier than I thought, {44087}{44134}there's something|you need to know. {44135}{44189}l'm not a virgin, Sandy. {44191}{44262}No, not technically,|but times have changed|since you were last single. {44264}{44389}Now, listen, when l'm making out|with a girl for the first time, {44390}{44436}I like to give her|a little spankin'. {44438}{44485}What?|Nothing violent. {44487}{44552}You just tap her real light|right on the tushy and say, {44554}{44630}"Hey, l'm your daddy.|l'm your daddy." {44632}{44689}Listen to me. {44691}{44746}What are you doing?|l'm blotting the grease. {44748}{44837}That's the best part. Let me see that.|Listen, don't be shy. {44838}{44924}- lt's just a little tap. lt's like saying,|"Boop, l'm your daddy."|- l'm not gonna tap her. {44926}{45038}Brings 'em right back to childhood.|Trust me, they're putty in your hands|after that. {45040}{45110}I gotta tell you,|l'm really excited about this. Really. {45111}{45165}I feel like this could be|one of those... {45167}{45233}defining moments of my life|or something, you know? {45234}{45296}[ Laughs ]|Yeah, I actually think|it's not gonna work out, {45298}{45344}but l'm pulling for you, Reub. {45370}{45429}Just pray to God|she doesn't go ethnic. {45430}{45487}The place didn't sound ethnic. {45489}{45552}What was the name?|Al Hafez. {45554}{45637}[ Middle Eastern ] {45639}{45693}So when did you live in Morocco? {45695}{45802}ln the late '90s. I bounced around|to a bunch of different places|over the past few years. {45804}{45856}Oh, yeah? Like where?|Oh, God, where? {45858}{45964}Let's see, Austin, lstanbul,|Sri Lanka, Portland, {45966}{46021}Costa Rica, Buffalo,|a couple other places. {46023}{46101}Wow. Were you in the Peace Corps?|No, I just like to move a lot. {46102}{46177}I kinda get stir-crazy if l'm stuck|in one place for too long,|you know what I mean? {46179}{46244}- Oh, yeah, completely.|- [ Both Laughing ] {46246}{46305}No, remember?|You were the person who broke--|Oh, my God! {46307}{46390}I can't believe|you remember that.|Oh, of course. {46392}{46462}You were like the greatest delegate|in Model U.N. history. {46464}{46525}I guess I did manage|to pass a few resolutions. {46527}{46573}[ Laughs ] {46575}{46658}Are you okay? 'Cause you're|sweating pretty profusely. {46660}{46737}Yeah, no, l'm fine.|I always react this way to spicy food. {46739}{46788}Okay.|Yeah, but I love it. {46790}{46872}I can't believe you're not married.|I mean, even when we were kids, {46874}{46957}I always saw you as that guy that would|settle down at a young age,you know? {46959}{47025}You were always kinda like|an old young guy.|Yeah, well, it just hasn't happened. {47026}{47125}[ Stomach Growling ]|But, uh, what about you?|You ever gotten close or-- {47126}{47198}To the whole marriage thing?|Oh, God, no. No way. {47199}{47249}No,yeah, no, no, no, no,|no, no, no, no, no, no. {47251}{47325}l'm not really big on the whole, um,|long-term commitment thing. {47326}{47421}Mm-hmm. Why? Are you coming out|of a bad relationship or-- {47422}{47478}No, l'm kinda coming out of like|eight bad relationships. {47480}{47545}- Eight?|- You sure I can't get you|a towel or something? {47547}{47649}No, no. l'm good.|But if the right person came along,|things might be different, right? {47651}{47736}Oh, yeah. {47738}{47789}You're probably right.|[ Stomach Growling ] {47829}{47872}Sorry. Um-- {47910}{47957}- Hey, you mind if I go to the men's room?|- Please. {47958}{48006}Sure. Oh, gosh! {48070}{48150}[ Man ]|Occupied. l"m gonna|be here all night, dude. {48226}{48292}All right, well, this is me.|Great. {48294}{48358}Why don't you come upstairs and,|uh, l'll make you some coffee or tea. {48360}{48406}Okay, great. {48408}{48506}I just gotta find my keys here.|Oh, shoot. {48550}{48642}- [ Stomach Growling ]|- They're right there, I hear 'em. {48644}{48690}[ Growling Continues ] {48692}{48738}Oh, yeah. Okay. {48740}{48765}Oh, wow. This is great.|lt"s so cozy. {48802}{48850}Thanks.|Did you just move in or-- {48851}{48915}No. l've been here|about four months.|Uh-huh. {48917}{48989}- [ Yelps ]|Rat! Rat in the house!|- Oh, no, no. {48991}{49068}This is Rodolfo.|He's a ferret. {49070}{49130}I got him in Sicily|at a flea market years ago. {49132}{49210}He's old.|He can't really see anymore. {49212}{49266}Cute. Hey, you mind|if I use your bathroom? {49268}{49334}Oh, sure,yeah. Oh, actually,|that"s not the bathroom. {49336}{49421}- My bathroom's right here.|- Oh. Okay. {49422}{49554}Yeah, 'cause I just, uh,|had a lot to drink, a lot of water.|l'll just be a second. {49556}{49602}Okay, take your time.|[ Door Closes ] {49708}{49797}Ohh! I don't believe this.|[ Small Fart ] {49884}{49934}[ Squeaks ] {49936}{49989}- Go away. Go away.|- [ Squeaks] {49990}{50045}Go! Go! Shoo! Poo! {50070}{50137}- [ Farting Continues ]|- Oh, God. {50190}{50226}[ Squeaky Fart ]|Ohh! {50228}{50274}[ Big Fart ] {50358}{50457}[ Shower Running ] {50635}{50688}Oh, no. {51334}{51390}[ Shower Running ] {51467}{51528}[ Toilet Flushes ] {51566}{51629}Oh, God, I beg you, please.|lf you make this water go down, {51631}{51694}I will sit at your feet,|and I will serve you for all of eternity. {51743}{51838}l'll adopt a Somalian kid,|or l'll work in Calcutta, or l'll-- {51839}{51886}Please,just make the water-- {51887}{51949}- No! No!|- [ Squeaking ] {52239}{52293}Oh, my God!|[ Yelps ] {52328}{52405}This was fun.|Yes. {52406}{52462}Hmm.|lf l'd known your grandmother|had embroidered that towel, {52464}{52525}I would've never--|Oh, really, you know what,|that's okay. {52527}{52598}Okay, well-- {52600}{52646}Good night, Polly.|Good night, Reuben. {52648}{52680}Good night.|Oh, okay. {52682}{52788}All right, okay.|Oh. All right.|That's nice. Okay, so-- {52898}{52963}[ Sandy ]|Dude, why would you make|number two in her apartment? {52965}{53029}She asked me to come upstairs.|I mean, what should I have done? {53030}{53096}[ Woman Singing ]|Tell her you're tired|and shag ass out of there. {53098}{53149}Guys.|I called her to apologize. {53150}{53198}What was that?|I called her to apologize. {53199}{53290}But it doesn't really matter|'cause I doubt she'll ever|want to see me again. {53292}{53342}You know what?|I gotta call you back.|Cool. {53344}{53397}[ Elevator Dings ]|Mr. Van Lew? {53399}{53460}Feffer?|Yes. Hi.|Reuben Feffer. {53462}{53508}I recognized you|from the Forbes cover. {53510}{53577}You're way early, sport.|Come on, then. Get in. {53578}{53625}ls this the service elevator? {53626}{53722}Yeah. I don't think we'll have a problem|with this insurance business. {53724}{53822}Sure, I take chances, but, hey,|you can't build a successful business|without the occasional risk. {53824}{53934}Oh, of course. What l'm trying to|determine are the kinds of risks|you actually do take. {53936}{54020}I only take the calculated ones.|Trust me, I plan on being round|for ages yet. {54022}{54108}Well, I know we'd really love|to give you a policy|if we can make it work. {54110}{54166}We'll make it work, sport.|Great. {54168}{54214}So, uh, what are we doing on the roof? {54216}{54262}l'm just gonna do|a bit of a BASE jump. {54264}{54349}Here. Keep the walkie|on channel 1 3, all right? {54350}{54445}I don't know what you're talking about.|A BASE jump. A free-fall|from an inanimate object. {54446}{54510}I always carry me chute|in case I find a good launching point.|Oh, no. {54512}{54592}[ Cell Phone Ringing ]|All right, look,|just don't do anything, all right? {54594}{54652}Reuben Feffer.|Hey, Reuben, it's Polly Prince. {54654}{54733}Hey, Polly! How's it going?|l'll give you a shout|when l'm through, all right? {54734}{54803}No! No, that's not all right.|Polly, can I call you back in a second? {54805}{54885}Okay. I just wanted to tell you|I got your message, and you know what? {54887}{54960}Let's just start over and forget about|that whole loofah thing.|Holy shit! {54962}{55004}No!|Yahoo! {55006}{55074}Oh! Holy shit!|I didn"t like that loofah. {55076}{55158}- [ Screams ]|- Relax. Leland's meeting with|the insurance guy right now. {55160}{55224}[ Screaming ] {55276}{55358}- Oh!|- Oh, crap! {55360}{55420}Oh, shit!|l'll just call you|in the next few days. Bye! {55422}{55484}Leland to Feffer, Leland to Feffer.|You there, mate? {55486}{55539}Yes, Feffer to Leland, hello? {55541}{55587}Come on down|and give us a hand. {55589}{55653}I think I might have|fractured me coccyx. {55654}{55741}[ Sitar ] {55784}{55869}[ Polly ]|Oh, look at that.|You got me a new loofah. {55871}{55973}Yeah, it's from Finland, and the salesman|said it has a very ergonomic design, so-- {55974}{56069}Oh, Reuben, that's really--|thank you-- really sweet. {56070}{56166}Oh, my God! [ Laughs ]|I don't believe this! {56168}{56215}Oh, what are you doing here? {56217}{56291}We're having an early supper.|I wanted your father to try new cuisines. {56293}{56361}Really? lt's only 3:00.|lt's a crime to beat|the dinner crowds? {56362}{56413}Who is this young woman? {56415}{56496}This is Polly Prince.|Polly, these are my parents.|No! {56498}{56578}lrving and Vivian Feffer.|Polly, it's so good meeting you. {56580}{56672}- How are you?|- I can't believe you're eating lndian.|You hate spicy food. {56674}{56726}- No, I don"t, Mom.|- [ No Audible Dialogue ] {56728}{56821}Well, l'm gonna-- Psst!|l'm gonna ask--|[ Snaps Fingers ] {56822}{56885}l'm gonna ask this nice|Native American man|to get us a bigger table. {56886}{56934}Mom, they're lndian.|You can call them lndian. lt's okay. {56935}{57037}Hi. Need big table, please.|Four people. {57039}{57082}Many thanks. {57120}{57154}Okay. {57183}{57249}Now, how do you kids know each other?|I told you. {57250}{57326}Mom, we went to middle school together.|We were both delegates in the Model U.N. {57328}{57389}Oh, you still work in government, honey? {57391}{57466}No, no. l'm a waitress. {57468}{57536}- Mm.|- She's also writing a children's book. {57538}{57658}Oh, very nice. Reu, you'll never guess|who I ran into yesterday. {57660}{57713}Who's that?|Lisa"s mother. {57715}{57777}That"s good. Hey, Dad, did you try this--|What is this stuff called? {57779}{57834}- Sag.|- Sag. Did you try this? {57836}{57924}Apparently, Lisa"s doing wonderfully|down there in St. Barts, {57926}{57982}- selling villas, happy.|- That's good for her. {57984}{58044}- Now, who's Lisa?|- Nah. {58046}{58097}- Not important.|- Lisa's Reuben's wife. {58099}{58172}- Mm. Oh.|- She left him for another man|on their honeymoon. {58174}{58262}- Oh.|- Are we ready for the check?|I think l'll take the check. {58264}{58318}- [ Sighs ]|- What? {58320}{58389}Well, you know,|your dad seems really nice. {58391}{58458}Yes. A man of few words.|[ Chuckles ]|Yeah. {58460}{58522}Hey, look, I just want you to know|I was gonna tell you about Lisa. {58524}{58619}I just, um--|I was embarrassed, and l... {58621}{58689}I guess 'cause I hadn't seen you|for so long and--|Oh, it's so okay. {58690}{58740}I understand.|No, I was an idiot. {58742}{58797}I should've just told you the truth|right from the start. {58798}{58916}Reuben, l'm really-- l'm not upset.|But when did this happen? {58918}{58968}Two weeks ago. {58970}{59016}Two weeks ago? {59045}{59109}Oh, my God!|Are you okay? {59166}{59241}Well, it was a pretty big shock.|[ Scoffs ] {59242}{59314}I walked in on her, on Lisa, {59315}{59425}with, um, a scuba instructor|on the first day of our honeymoon. {59484}{59557}They were still wearing their flippers.|Anyway-- {59559}{59616}[ Chuckles ]|Oh. {59702}{59765}I mean-- Ohh! {59826}{59861}[ Beeps ] {59862}{59945}Hey, Reuben!|Uh, it's Polly... Prince. {59946}{60036}Um, I don't know|if you have any plans tonight, {60038}{60132}but if not, you should swing by,|uh, 37 Gansevort Street... {60134}{60195}around 9:00|if you can make it. {60197}{60262}You know, it's no big deal,|but it could be fun. {60264}{60330}So, you know, think about it. {60332}{60473}Okay, so, um, l'll see you later...|or not. I mean either way. {60474}{60565}And-- Oh, if you do come,|you should wear comfortable shoes. {60566}{60629}That is if you come.|But you totally don't have to. {60631}{60689}I mean, I might not even be there. {60852}{60954}I am so glad that you came.|Yeah. I wore my comfortable shoes|just like you said. {60956}{61002}[ Laughs ]|So what are we doing? {61041}{61087}Oh, crap. {61122}{61182}[ Salsa ] {61232}{61340}This place is a total secret.|lt is the best underground|salsa club in New York. {61342}{61388}Yeah, you know,|l'm not really a big dancer.|I don't know-- {61390}{61436}Oh, come on. You know what?|lt's easier than it looks. {61438}{61520}Oh! Oh, okay.|There you go.|Just feel it in your legs. {61522}{61570}All right.|Okay. Ow! {61572}{61653}Sorry, sorry.|That's okay.Just step on my feet|a little less than that. {61881}{61927}Work it {61978}{62069}Hey, hey, hey, hey!|Looking good, Pollyanna. {62071}{62129}- Hey,Javi.|- [Javi Mumbling ] {62130}{62202}You stop that.|This is my friend Reuben. {62203}{62250}- Hey.|- This is Javi. {62252}{62304}Hey, you mind if I dance|with the beautiful lady? {62306}{62401}- Um, I guess not. Yeah.|- All right, thanks, man. {62682}{62754}[ Spanish ] {62846}{62900}[ Slow Tempo ] {63288}{63334}Hey.|Hi! {63336}{63374}I think I might take off.|Really? {63376}{63406}Yeah. {63408}{63454}Are you having a bad time?|No, no, no! {63456}{63502}l'm just not into this whole|dirty dancing thing. {63504}{63550}What do you mean,|dirty dancing? {63552}{63632}I saw that movie. I know that's what|you and that, uh, Spaniard were doing. {63634}{63725}Whoa. Wait a minute.|First of all, he's Cuban, {63727}{63808}and that wasn't dirty dancing,|that was just salsa. {63810}{63879}Okay, it's just l'm just really,|truthfully not the kind of guy... {63881}{63933}that's ever gonna be into|these kind of clubs or any-- {63935}{64042}Okay, Reuben, you know, then tell me,|what kind of guy are ya? {64043}{64108}What kind of guy am l?|What do you mean? {64110}{64233}Well, up until now, you haven't|exactly been the portrait of honesty,|so just come clean, okay? {64235}{64300}Just tell me who you are. {64302}{64349}I hate spicy food.|I knew it! {64351}{64437}Yeah, I don't like it at all.|I have a mild case of l.B.S. and--|What is that? {64439}{64461}lrritable bowel syndrome. {64463}{64509}What?|lrritable bowel syndrome. {64511}{64577}Oh, God. That's terrible. {64579}{64637}Um, what else?|Look, the thing is, {64639}{64716}I assess risk for a living,|so I know that I have a .01 3% chance... {64718}{64764}of being hit by a car|on my way home, {64766}{64833}or a one in 46,000 chance|of falling through a subway grate. {64835}{64914}Really?|So I try to manage that risk|by avoiding danger... {64916}{64969}and having a plan and|knowing what my next move is, {64971}{65037}and I guess you don't exactly|live your life that way. {65038}{65109}No, I do it--|I do it a little differently.|Yeah, which is great. {65110}{65157}But l'm not gonna ever be|a dirty dancer, {65158}{65205}and I don't eat food|with my hands, {65206}{65288}and I really like you, but I just don't think|this is gonna work out. {65490}{65546}I just have to go pee.|Okay. {65652}{65705}[ Soul ] {65847}{65905}[ Water Running ] {65907}{65972}just kidding!|Oh! {65974}{66030}[ Mock Chuckle ]|Funny. {66083}{66134}[ Woman Vocalizing ] {66160}{66223}Do it, do it {66225}{66283}Do it again {66285}{66348}Do it again {66350}{66404}Let"s do it again {66491}{66528}I wanna do it again {66624}{66681}Sometimes the rain {66682}{66761}- Hey.|- Hi. {66762}{66844}Like you and me, baby {66846}{66939}Gettin"down with the sounds around {66941}{67022}Oh, the smell|of the morning flower {67024}{67083}As we pass away the hours {67085}{67133}I wanna do it again {67135}{67208}Do it again|Do it {67210}{67267}[ Stops ]|Ow! {67269}{67337}Did you just spank me? {67338}{67386}No!|I don't-- No. {67388}{67434}Mm-mmm.|Are you sure? {67436}{67493}'Cause it felt|like you just swatted me.|No, no, you-- {67494}{67552}I have a little crick in my wrist.|You just felt that little-- {67554}{67600}I was just--|Do you hear that?|Really? {67602}{67665}Yeah. You hear that?|Well, I got it out.|Yeah. {67667}{67713}Yeah.|[ Mutters, lndistinct ] {67715}{67770}[ Salsa ] {67917}{67981}[ Reuben Thinking ]|Oh, wow. This is incredible. {67982}{68038}Oh, man. {68040}{68101}Oh, God.|Oh, yeah. {68103}{68185}Oh, no! No, no.|You can't be done yet. {68186}{68277}Come on, Reuben, focus.|You have to last at least five minutes here. {68279}{68373}Four minutes, 27, 26, 25. {68375}{68488}Two minutes 20, 1 9, 1 8, 1 7. {68490}{68523}Come on.|You can do it. {68525}{68592}5 5, 54, 53, 52, 51 --|Oh, God! {68594}{68641}Fifty! {68706}{68753}[ Giggles ]|Fifty? {68754}{68845}Yeah, 50! Whoo! {68846}{68894}[ Sandy ]|Let it rain! {68895}{68964}I tell ya, I think I might end up|marrying this woman. {68966}{69017}Really? After one night? {69019}{69065}Did you spank her? {69067}{69125}Yeah, I tried,|but I don't think she liked it. {69127}{69202}Yeah, some women find it offensive. {69204}{69270}lceman! {69272}{69354}I did not sleep with him|out of charity. {69356}{69441}You weren't interested till you found out|his wife boned some other guy|on their honeymoon. {69443}{69545}That's not it.|He is a kind, decent, solid guy. {69546}{69601}l've never been|with anybody like that. {69602}{69673}Still sounds like a charity boning. Hi.|Thank you. {69674}{69753}Do you have to use the word|"bone" every time? {69755}{69810}I use it when it's appropriate. {69839}{69926}Have you ever heard of a guy|shouting out "50" when he orgasmed?|Yeah. {69928}{69980}Yeah? {70004}{70093}Okay, so throw pillows|go in this cabinet here. {70145}{70198}Oh, you don't--|you don't sleep on these? {70200}{70269}No, no, they're... decorative. {70271}{70356}- For who?|- What do you mean? {70358}{70421}You're the only one who sees them,|but you don't sleep on them. {70423}{70492}Then you take them off the bed every night,|put 'em in a box, take them out of the box. {70494}{70557}I just don't understand the point. {70558}{70630}I don't know. I mean,|Lisa thought they looked nice. {70631}{70688}Oh. I see.|Yeah. {70762}{70812}Yeah. {70950}{71033}I don't see what the big deal is.|They make the bed look nice. {71095}{71156}Hey! {71158}{71214}What are you doing?|That's goose down!|l'm liberating you. {71244}{71280}Try it.|No! {71282}{71357}l'm not gonna--|Just one stab. Come on.|See how you feel. {71358}{71404}Come on!|This is ridiculous. {71406}{71445}lt's not ridiculous. {71446}{71556}lt's not like driving a knife into a pillow|is suddenly gonna make me feel-- {71558}{71604}Wow. That feels really good. {71606}{71673}Huh? Right?|[ Chuckles ]|Yeah! {71675}{71729}- What did I tell you?|- You know what? You're right. {71731}{71790}Come on. Bigger one.|What is the point|of these things really? {71792}{71862}No point.|They're stupid.|Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! {71864}{71953}Ha! Ha! Ha!|I mean, what, am I running|a bed-and-breakfast? {71955}{71998}Not anymore.|You know how many minutes a day... {72000}{72048}I spend getting throw pillows|on and off the bed?|How many? {72050}{72100}Four minutes in the morning,|four minutes at night.|That's eight minutes of my life. {72102}{72217}I figured it out. lt's 56 minutes a week.|That's nearly two days of my life a year|I spent putting pillows on and off a stupid bed! {72219}{72280}Ha! Ha!|Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! {72282}{72334}[ Yelling ]|Whoa, whoa, whoa! {72336}{72425}- Wait, wait, wait. You hit mattress.|- Oh, yeah.|[ Sighs ] {72426}{72488}You know what?|I really gotta go. l'm late. {72490}{72539}Shoot.|[ Reuben ] What's wrong?|You lose your keys again? {72541}{72614}No, they're just not|where I left them before. {72616}{72696}Hey, why don't you use|that key finder I bought you?|Reuben, I don't... {72698}{72770}I think it could help.|need the stupid key finder! {72772}{72843}All right. Anyway,|I was thinking l'd come meet you. {72845}{72940}Really? I thought you hated|dirty dancing clubs.|[ Beeping ] {72942}{72993}No, it's just salsa.|lt'll be fun. l'll watch. {72995}{73041}Hey, what's that noise?|Nothing. {73043}{73113}lt's the key finder, isn't it?|No, it's so not the key finder. {73115}{73164}Yes, it is!|lt is not the key finder.|l'll see you later. Bye. {73166}{73264}Yes, it--|Oh! How? {73270}{73321}[ Man Singing ln Spanish ] {73951}{73999}Hey, Reuby Tuesday.|Cmo est�s? {74001}{74050}Yeah. Doin' all right. {74152}{74252}You know what? Actually,|me no est�s too good,Javier. {74278}{74329}I want you to stay away from Polly,|all right? {74330}{74377}Find yourself another dance partner. {74378}{74433}- Why?|- Why? {74435}{74502}Because she and I are a couple, all right?|Yeah, we're dating. {74504}{74576}And l'm not gonna let|some big shot salsa king... {74578}{74650}sweep in with your mambo moves|and your Erik Estrada look... {74652}{74740}and come in and try to take her away,|because l've had that happen before|and it's not gonna happen again. {74742}{74816}- Reuben, I am gay.|- Hey, I don't care what you-- What? {74818}{74909}l'm homosexual. My boyfriend Hector,|he plays the keyboards in the house band. {74911}{74959}Oh. {75003}{75076}Hey, you think maybe|you could give me some salsa lessons? {75078}{75165}[ Salsa ] {75710}{75765}Huh. {75794}{75854}You hated it.|No, I don't. {75856}{75957}lt's just-- lt's very graphic|for a children's book. {75959}{76088}You know, like this one:|"The Boy with a Nub for an Arm." {76090}{76148}Well, that one has a moral. {76150}{76248}You know, to teach kids they gotta be careful|when they're playing with fireworks. {76250}{76332}Right. No, and-and I think|it's brilliant, by the way. Seriously.|Uh-huh. {76334}{76389}I mean, like,|you really convey... {76390}{76486}the pain and the fear,|and I love the little doggy too. {76488}{76576}But-- And I don't mean|this in a bad way.|Right. {76578}{76653}Just what were you thinking? {76692}{76740}[ Salsa ] {77090}{77165}So I put all the risks and rewards|into the program,|Okay. Right. {77166}{77219}which helps me finalize|my recommendations. {77221}{77293}"Leland Van Lew. "|Ooh! BASE jumping! {77295}{77404}That is supposed to be so much fun.|That should be on the rewards side. {77406}{77477}lt's one of the most dangerous activities|a human being can do. {77478}{77540}Really?|Have you done it?|Yeah. {77542}{77609}Have I parachuted off|the top of a building? No.|Uh-huh. {77610}{77641}No?|No. {77642}{77706}So how do you know|what it's like? {77756}{77852}I don't.|Huh. lnteresting. {77890}{77937}Would you like|some more bulgogi?|Sure. {77938}{77973}Yeah?|Yeah, thanks. {77974}{78028}I actually like this.|Yeah, it's good.|You do? {78030}{78078}[ Vomiting Loudly ] {78115}{78176}Now you look like|a pro racquetballer.|How's that shirt fit, all right? {78178}{78250}Uh, yeah, it's fine.|You know, I was thinking|maybe we can just sit and talk. {78252}{78300}l'm not really|a big raquetball player.|No worries. {78302}{78352}We'll just get up a bit of a sweat.|Have a few giggles. {78354}{78401}- [ Yelling ]|- [ Screams ] {78494}{78557}So l've been running the numbers, {78590}{78670}and I gotta say...|things aren't looking|too good from our end. {78672}{78725}Bollocks! {78727}{78822}[ Groans ]|Geez! {78824}{78889}Leland, I mean,|it's not just the BASE jumping. {78890}{78937}lt's the heli-skiing,|[ Yells ] {78938}{78986}volcano luging, shark diving. {78987}{79081}Bottom line is, unless|you drastically alter your lifestyle, {79083}{79142}we won't be able to insure you. {79144}{79201}Reuben, I came to you|for a reason. {79202}{79249}I was told that you had|more imagination... {79250}{79302}than any of the other blokes|in the big firms-- {79304}{79369}that you analyze the man|and not just the numbers. {79371}{79443}I guess I was wrong. {79445}{79502}Are you trying to manipulate me?|Of course I am. {79504}{79573}But I wanna hold onto me company.|[ Yells ] {79660}{79737}- Oh!|- l'll tell you what. {79738}{79794}l'm gonna be in Nantucket|at the end of the month. {79796}{79850}You'll come up and be my guest|aboard the "Roo Shooter. {79852}{79898}Aboard the what?|My sailboat. {79900}{79965}l'll take you for a bit of a sail,|give you a chance to really get to know me. {79967}{80049}And I guarantee you|by the end of the weekend,|you'll know what a safe bet I really am. {80050}{80134}Yeah, you know what?|Uh, you're bleeding pretty bad. {80136}{80192}Yeah, I think l've swallowed|a tooth or something. {80194}{80249}Oh! {80251}{80328}No. Got it.|[ Chuckles ] {80330}{80380}Your serve. {80382}{80454}[Jazz ]|So I tell Leland|we can"t insure him. {80456}{80549}He responds by|inviting me up to Nantucket|for some Death Ray Sailing Challenge. {80551}{80578}Really?|Yeah. {80580}{80656}Oh, we gotta go do that.|l've never been to Nantucket.|You wanna come? {80658}{80715}I would-- Well, can-- ls that rude?|ls it all right if I invite myself? {80717}{80801}No! That'd be great. Okay, good.|So you're actually gonna|commit to something in advance. {80803}{80872}Yeah-- Oh.|Oh, my God. {80874}{80956}Okay, yeah, I am.|I think that would be really fun. {80958}{80996}Whoa, whoa, whoa.|What? {80998}{81061}What are you doin'?|l'm-l'm gonna have some nuts. {81063}{81153}No. You don't eat mixed nuts|at a bar. Everybody knows that. {81154}{81197}What are you talking about? {81199}{81260}Okay. Let's say, uh, {81262}{81362}conservatively, I don't know,|1 7 people eat these nuts on a given night. {81364}{81449}Okay? lf they"ve been here|for even two weeks,|we"re talking about... {81451}{81517}238 people who dipped|their dirty hands into that bowl. {81519}{81573}Dirty-- Why are their--|Why are their hands dirty? {81575}{81653}On average, only one out of|every six people wash their hands|when they go to the bathroom. {81655}{81742}[ Gasps ]|Yeah, so when you think you're|innocently eating a little bar snack, {81744}{81835}you're actually ingesting potentially|deadly bacteria from about|39 soil-handed strangers. {81837}{81916}I mean, people wonder|why they get E. coli poisoning|or salmonella or hepatitis, {81918}{82009}when all they gotta do|is look at the snack bowl|at their local watering hole. {82051}{82085}l'm not being neurotic.|No. {82087}{82146}lt's an absolute hot zone in there. {82232}{82287}How could you have eaten those? {82289}{82345}l-l-l-l mean,|I made such a compelling argument. {82346}{82393}I like to live life on the edge. {82394}{82477}Oh. Thank you.|Yeah. You never know. {82479}{82556}[ Sighs ]|[ Salsa ] {82757}{82821}[ Ends ]|Reuben, I mean,|you don't have to do this. {82823}{82896}I don't care that you--|that you don't know how to dance. {82897}{82959}No, I thought l'd give it one last try.|Hey,Javi. {82961}{83013}Hey, Reuben. You ready? {83014}{83061}Uh-huh.|What is happening? {83063}{83136}- [ Shouts ln Spanish ]|- [ Polly ] What? {83138}{83222}- [ Singing ln Spanish ]|- What are you doing? {83758}{83815}Tzzz! {83891}{83918}Yi! {84104}{84139}[ Yells ] {84346}{84425}Yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi! {85069}{85131}[ Ends ] {85133}{85254}I don't even know where that|"yi, yi, yi, yi, yi, yi" thing came from.|lt was just awesome. {85256}{85303}[ Polly ]|Holy shit! {85493}{85553}What are you doing here? {85611}{85659}l'm back. {85698}{85745}Who's this? {85746}{85815}Who's this?|This is my girlfriend.|What? {85817}{85861}- You have a girlfriend?|- l'm not your girlfriend. {85862}{85951}I mean, we"rejust kind of--|Hi, l"m Polly. {86001}{86062}Lisa.|[ Polly ]|Right. {86210}{86297}So, yeah.|You know, you guys probably have|a lot to talk about. {86298}{86359}So l'm just gonna go.|No, no, no, no, no.|I don't want you to go. {86361}{86425}That's okay. Please. I wanna go.|Bye, Lisa. Nice to meet you.|I don't-- {86426}{86511}I don't want you to go.|l'm just gonna--|You gotta talk about it. {86513}{86560}l'm just gonna go. {86668}{86745}[ Scoffs ]|[ Reuben ]|I don"t understand. {86746}{86817}I mean, I thought--|I thought you were really happy with Claude. {86819}{86904}l-l was for a few weeks.|But then all he ever talked about|was scuba diving. {86906}{86953}- Really?|- I missed you. {86955}{87027}Reuben--|I missed you too, but--|I mean, come on! {87029}{87114}What was I supposed to do?|I moved on. l'm in a relationship. {87116}{87157}- What, with that Polly person?|- Yeah. {87158}{87205}She doesn't even|call herself your girlfriend. {87206}{87271}She-- That's-- No.|She just doesn't like the phrasing. {87273}{87353}Oh, okay. Okay.|Then let mejust ask you this. {87354}{87445}Are you really gonna spend|the rest of your life with her? {87446}{87499}I don't know, Lisa. {87501}{87558}Because l'm ready|to do that with you, Reuben. {87560}{87627}I made a mistake|and I took you for granted, {87629}{87723}but I promise you that|I will never, ever hurt you again. {87779}{87845}I love you, Reuben. {87993}{88057}You know what?|I think, um-- {88059}{88134}I think you should, um,|go stay with your parents, okay, {88136}{88182}'cause I gotta|be out of here in a week. {88184}{88230}What are you talking about?|Where are you going?|Where am I going? {88232}{88285}l'm going into the house, remember?|The house that I bought for us to live in. {88287}{88360}Well, then, let's-let's do it together.|Let's go move into our house. {88362}{88417}You don't just--|No, we can't just go-- I can't-- {88419}{88467}No. I can't-- {88530}{88629}I don't even know|what to say right now, okay? So-- {88681}{88730}Okay. {88796}{88842}[ Polly ]|lf you wanna get back together|with her,just let me know. {88844}{88890}No, l'm not planning|on getting back together with her. {88892}{88944}I wouldn't be seeing you|if I was planning--|lt's cool, you know? {88945}{89005}You guys are married.|She came back.|All right, Polly-- {89007}{89086}How's it coming|with Herb Lazare, D.D.S.?|Hello? {89088}{89146}I haven't even gotten into it yet.|l'm-l'm still working on Van Lew. {89148}{89209}Wait a minute. I thought|you decided on Van Lew two weeks ago. {89211}{89259}We're presenting to AFLAC|on Wednesday. {89261}{89334}Polly, can you hang on a second?|Just hang on one second.|No, I kinda have to go. {89336}{89401}You better not be|bonus hunting on me, Reuben.|Bonus hunting? {89403}{89473}Stan, the man's career is on the line.|I owe it to him to give him|a thorough analysis. {89474}{89519}All right. {89521}{89570}l'm going to Barbados|with my mistress for the weekend. {89572}{89637}I want this Van Lew thing settled|by the time I get back. All right? {89638}{89688}I am on it,|and l'm gonna make it happen. {89690}{89727}Good things.|Good things. {89729}{89773}[ Dial Tone ]|Polly? {89775}{89821}Oh, damn!|[ Doorbell Rings ] {89823}{89884}Hey, pal.|Hey, Larry. {89886}{89945}Lisa dropped this off for you. {89946}{90019}Oh. Thanks. {90258}{90337}[ Reuben"s Voice ]|I met a real estate agent|named Lisa Kramer... {90338}{90433}who showed me an apartment,|which I rentedjust so|she"d go out with me. {90435}{90481}[ Lisa"s Voice ]|I gave him a good price.|Yeah, not good enough. {90483}{90531}She"s a killer! {90648}{90708}[ Rock ] {90710}{90778}Hey, hey, hey, hey {90780}{90837}I just can't believe|she came back.|[ Continues, lndistinct ] {90838}{90912}Can we please just focus for a second?|l'm almost finished. {90914}{90995}What's next?|Polly's career prospects. {90997}{91069}Risky. She's writing a children's book|where kids get maimed. {91071}{91129}Yeah, see, I think her lack of career|is actually a positive, {91131}{91177}'cause she'd have more time|to spend with the kids. {91179}{91226}[ Sandy ]|You"re skewing the numbers|in Polly"s favor, Reuben. {91228}{91274}Why are we even doing this? {91276}{91324}Because l'm confused, Sandy. {91325}{91387}I mean, my goddamn wife|shows up on my doorstep... {91389}{91457}wanting to get back together,|Polly's freaking out. {91458}{91530}I just wanna make sure|l'm making the right decision. {91532}{91574}[ Moans ] {91576}{91678}I don"t see how putting these two girls|in the Riskmaster"s gonna help you|make up your mind. {91680}{91726}Mmm. {91807}{91853}lnteresting.|What"s it say? {91855}{91913}Polly. {91915}{91955}Polly?|Yeah. {91957}{92031}No way.|You should just cut your losses|and get back with Lisa. {92033}{92146}Nah, I checked it, like, three times.|The program says she's the safer choice.|Whatever. {92148}{92205}By the way, dude,|is your health okay? {92206}{92264}I mean,|you're looking kind of thin. {92265}{92313}Uh, no. Polly's been|making me eat ethnic food, {92315}{92389}so l've been|throwing up a lot lately. {92391}{92449}Cool.|Polly Prince. {92493}{92541}Polly Feffer. {92588}{92641}Polly Prince-Feffer. {92643}{92714}Come on. You can't cancel.|I thought you were so excited to go. {92716}{92762}I know, but--|Polly. {92764}{92811}We fell in love with these|funny little Bolivian mud huts.|Hello? {92813}{92919}- Hold on.|- So we had our designer use|a similar color palette in here. {92921}{92969}Hi. l'm sorry.|l'm on the phone. {92971}{93029}Would you just please keep it--|Shh. {93031}{93087}So, also, you know what else? {93089}{93164}lt"s like I feel weird going away|for the weekend when|your wife"s just come back into town. {93165}{93213}I don't know why you're making this|into such a big deal. {93215}{93300}I told you l'm not|getting back together with her.|Okay. {93302}{93359}So are you coming or not?|l'm coming. {93361}{93414}All right.|Okay? {93416}{93462}Bye.|Okay, bye. {93674}{93765}Goddamn right|it"s a beautiful day {93767}{93855}Uh-huh, goddamn right|it"s a beautiful day {93857}{93916}Uh-huh {93965}{94021}[ Continues, lndistinct ] {94023}{94081}You're pretty good at it.|You're a natural. {94082}{94139}[ Polly ]|Oh! This is amazing!|Hey, Leland! {94141}{94242}Are those storm clouds up ahead? {94244}{94346}Nah. We might just get|a light dusting, that's all.|Nothing to write home about. {94348}{94396}[ Thunderclap ] {94429}{94475}Are you sure you're all right? {94477}{94550}[ Reuben ]|Oh, no, l"m okay.|I don"t think I have my sea legs yet. {94552}{94601}l"ll be out in a sec.|All right. {94603}{94682}Oh, God. {94684}{94775}[ Fanfare ] {94777}{94831}So I know we haven't been|seeing each other that long, {94833}{94930}but I really feel like|it's time we take things to the next level, {94932}{95021}and l'd like you to consider|moving in with me. {95219}{95274}Why don't we just--|Why don't we just move in together? {95461}{95542}Oh, yeah. We're gonna|have ourselves a tussle. {95544}{95617}[ Chittering ]|Hey, Polly! {95619}{95689}Oh, my God.|Rodolfo"s in your toiletry kit!|Did you know that? {95691}{95746}Did you pack him,|or did you-- did you-- {95748}{95837}What-What is this?|I mean, why am I in your computer... {95839}{95886}on your Riskmaster thingy and--|Okay, you know what? {95888}{95989}I can explain this, Polly.|Well, no, it's fascinating.|I learned a lot about myself. {95990}{96081}l've learned that I have no career,|l'm flaky, I like ethnic food. {96082}{96129}Polly, would you let me explain this?|Uh-huh. {96130}{96210}Lisa came back, and l, you know,|l've been trying to figure things out. {96212}{96317}What are you figuring out, Reuben?|Just about us and our future. {96319}{96362}Future?|What are you talking about? {96364}{96410}What future?|Reuben, come on! {96412}{96510}This is a fling, you know?|Come on. What, did you think|we were gonna get married? {96512}{96579}Whoa! Maybe... {96581}{96627}I was gonna ask you|to move in with me first. {96629}{96686}Oh, my God.|You expect me to move|to the suburbs with you? {96688}{96763}Reuben, are you insane?|Whoa! Why is that so crazy? {96765}{96837}People do that all the time.|They have kids,|they-they-they make plans, {96839}{96885}they get married,|they buy houses.|You know what, though? {96887}{96957}That's you, Reuben.|You do that, right?|That's what you do. {96959}{97037}I don't live my life that way.|ls your lack of a plan|that different than my plan? {97039}{97095}I don't--|I don't have a plan.|Yes, you do! {97097}{97185}You're on the non-plan plan.|I am not on a non-plan plan! {97187}{97273}You are too!|l've never met anybody more afraid|of committing to anything. {97275}{97349}I mean, you were a senior delegate|at the Model U.N., Polly. {97351}{97400}What the hell happened to you?|Whoa! {97402}{97471}[ Leland ]|Wahoo! {97502}{97581}Come on, you mother!|You can do better than that! {97583}{97629}l've been living my life, okay? {97630}{97701}l"ve been in good relationships|and l"ve been in shitty ones, {97702}{97786}and l've moved a lot,|and l've been happy|and l've been sad, {97788}{97836}and l've been lonely,|and that's what l've been doing, {97838}{97901}which is a lot more than I can say|for some freak who thinks... {97903}{97974}he's gonna get the Ebola virus|from a bowl of mixed nuts. {97976}{98038}Those nuts have pee on them!|lt's common sense! {98040}{98129}Oh, trust me, that is|so far beyond common sense, Reuben. {98130}{98181}[ Grunting ] {98183}{98220}You don"t understand|what I grew up with. {98222}{98269}I had a mother|who made me afraid of everything. {98271}{98351}Okay, well, big deal, Reuben.|My dad had a whole second family. {98353}{98411}- What?|- Yeah, on Long lsland. {98413}{98490}A wife and kids|and a golden retriever. {98492}{98555}A second family? {98557}{98603}Whatever. Hey, you know what? {98605}{98694}l'm, uh, glad I saw that. {98696}{98737}Polly--|I am.|"Cause you know what? {98738}{98812}l'm gonna make this|really, uh, easy for you, Reuben. {98813}{98883}I have, um--|I have no interest... {98885}{98975}in getting married|and moving to the suburbs. {98977}{99032}And, obviously, that's something|that's really important to you. {99033}{99093}So here's what I think|your new plan should be. {99095}{99141}I think you should|get back together with Lisa, {99143}{99221}move into your house,|and move on with your life. {99222}{99306}And-And, uh, I think|you guys will be really happy together. {99308}{99373}Oh, dear Lord. {99375}{99405}Whoa! {99501}{99556}[ Reuben ]|You"re not making myjob|any easier, Leland. {99557}{99658}Ah, come on, Reub.|Weather report said sunny skies. {100115}{100182}Your sorry eyes {100213}{100294}They cut through the bone {100296}{100366}They make it hard {100368}{100409}To leave you alone {100411}{100460}[ Polly On Answering Machine ]|Hey, it"s Polly... Prince. {100462}{100539}Leave me a message, or call back,|or not. {100541}{100593}You know, whatever.|Okay, bye.|[ Beeps ] {100594}{100664}Hey, Polly, it's me.|Listen, um, {100665}{100712}I would like to talk to you,|all right? {100713}{100763}'Cause I feel really bad|about what happened, and-- {100765}{100811}Just give me a call|on my cell phone, all right? {100878}{100927}Baby,you"re a lost {100971}{101025}Baby,you"re a lost {101027}{101087}[ Ringing ] {101089}{101152}Baby,you"re a lost cause {101153}{101229}Hello?|Hi. lt's Lisa. {101231}{101330}Oh. Hey.|So, how's the house? {101332}{101401}The house is, uh--|it's great. {101402}{101456}Yeah, it's big,|but, you know, great. {101457}{101545}Well, I can't wait to see it.|Hey, did you get the gift I sent you? {101547}{101593}Yeah, I did. Thanks. {101595}{101682}I really wanna|see you, Reuben. {101684}{101750}I don't know, Lisa.|Let me think about it. {101752}{101831}Fighting for a lost cause {101836}{101900}[ Man Over P.A.]|Ladies and gentlemen,|please take your seats. {101901}{101965}The premiere ofJesus Christ Superstar|is about to begin. {101967}{102013}Hey! {102015}{102068}Reuby Tuesday!|Hey!Javi! {102069}{102108}C�mo est�s?|What are you doin' here? {102109}{102164}What else?|Hector's playin' keyboards|in the band. {102165}{102227}Ah.|I didn't figure you|a fan of musical theater. {102229}{102302}No, my friend Sandy Lyle|is in the show. {102304}{102362}Hey, have you, um--|have you talked to Polly? {102364}{102465}She was upset, bro.|Must've been some kind of fight, huh? {102466}{102539}Yeah. I keep calling her up,|and she won't pick up the phone. {102541}{102617}I don't know, I was thinking|about maybe dropping by tomorrow. {102618}{102705}lt's a bit too late, papi.|She's leaving town in about two hours. {102707}{102809}What? W-Why?|Where is she going?|I don't know. {102810}{102850}She said good-bye.|That's it. {102852}{102909}Hi. l'm sorry l'm late.|Hey. {102911}{102946}Oh, no. Yeah.|Hi. {102948}{102989}Hi. {102991}{103038}Hey,Javi, this is Lisa, {103040}{103097}my... wife. {103169}{103215}[ Guitar ] {103241}{103297}Hey.|Oh. {103547}{103634}Her mother told me she was back.|You're doing the right thing here, Reub. {103636}{103725}Relax, Mom.|l'm not promising anything.|lt's very exciting. {103825}{103876}[ Cell Phone Ringing ]|Reuben Feffer. {103878}{103925}Reuben, Stan.|Change of plan. {103926}{104017}The meeting with Van Lew's board|and the AFLAC people's moved to 4:00.|4:00? {104018}{104106}I don't know if I can do that.|What the hell is wrong with you?|Get your ass over here! {104108}{104173}[ Over P.A.]|Good evening, folks.|Uh, l"m Sandy Lyle, {104174}{104246}and l"ve got|a very special announcement. {104248}{104295}Please note that in tonight"s performance,|[ Stops ] {104297}{104343}in addition to playing|the role ofJudas, {104345}{104385}l"ll be playing Jesus as well. {104386}{104454}Thank you very much|and enjoy the show.|[ Man ] Sandy, what are you doing? {104456}{104501}Wonsuk is playing Jesus. {104503}{104549}[ Sandy ]|lt"s cool. l"m playing dual roles. {104551}{104601}Give me your crown, okay, Wonsuk?|[ Wonsuk ]|Screw you, Sandy! {104603}{104675}You"re a has-been.|No one even cares|you were in that stupid movie. {104677}{104739}- Oh, no.|- Oh, shit! Aah! {104768}{104835}[ All Gasping ]|[ Wonsuk ]|judas is biting me! {104892}{104964}What just happened in there?|I am a professional, Reuben, {104965}{105078}and l'm not gonna put|my reputation on the line|for a group of freaking amateurs. {105080}{105169}[ lrving ]|lt"s always the same story|with you, huh, pal? {105206}{105287}You did this one movie|a hundred years ago. {105289}{105359}From then on, you thought|you were better than everybody else. {105361}{105461}Why don't you let go?|Move on with your life. {105463}{105524}lt's not about|what happened in the past... {105525}{105576}or what you think|might happen in the future. {105578}{105637}lt's about the ride, for Christ's sake. {105663}{105722}There's no point going through|all this crap... {105724}{105774}if you're not gonna|enjoy the ride. {105776}{105842}And you know what?|When you least expect it, {105844}{105896}something great might come along-- {105897}{105982}something better|than you even planned for. {106030}{106118}You were funny as hell|playing those bagpipes, though. {106120}{106168}Did I ever tell you that? {106170}{106275}l-l don't think l've ever heard you|speak before, Mr. Feffer. {106415}{106536}So, Reuby, we"re gonna grab a bite|after your work thingamajigy? {106538}{106602}No, Lisa. {106604}{106667}I shouldn't have asked you|to come down here. {106669}{106715}l'm not getting back together with you. {106749}{106837}What are you talking about?|W-Why?|Why? {106889}{106985}You screwed a scuba diving instructor|on our honeymoon. {106987}{107046}I mean, what kind|of cold, heartless bitch... {107048}{107117}would do that to someone they love? {107118}{107180}l'd have to be an idiot|to get back together with you after that. {107236}{107299}Oh, and by the way,|I destroyed all your little throw pillows. {107301}{107367}Yeah, because throw pillows suck, okay? {107369}{107461}They serve no purpose.|They're purely decorative. {107544}{107594}Dude, that was incredible. {107596}{107653}You're the one who told me|I should get back together with her.|Reuben. {107679}{107733}Whatever you do,|don't ever take my advice again. {107734}{107794}Your dad totally|put it in perspective for me. {107796}{107877}I was barely famous back then,|and l'm never gonna be famous again. {107902}{107947}What about your|E! True Hollywood Story? {107949}{108021}The E! Channel doesn't even know|we're making this show. {108023}{108089}What do you mean? {108090}{108161}I hired Dustin and Vic myself. {108162}{108251}And I was gonna try and sell it|to the network when l"m done. {108253}{108333}You mean you're doing|an E! True Hollywood Story|on yourself? {108335}{108379}[ Chuckles ] {108381}{108455}Sandy, that's so--|That's the stupidest thing|l've ever heard. {108457}{108516}I know. l'm such a loser. {108642}{108730}Look, I need you to do something|for me that's really, really important. {108732}{108787}So you gotta promise me|just this one time|you won't screw it up. {108789}{108843}Reuben, l'm your wingman. {108845}{108913}Whatever it is,|I will not let you down. {108914}{108974}Your Reuben's proxy?|What the hell does that mean? {108976}{109067}Now, he's dealing with a personal situation,|so he asked me to fill in. {109069}{109118}Now, you gotta relax.|l'm a professional actor, {109120}{109186}and these dudes|will never know the difference.|I can't freaking believe this is happening. {109188}{109277}Be quiet, 'cause l'm...|tryin' to prepare. {109361}{109407}l'm gonna vomit. {109666}{109716}I am so sorry|for the delay, folks, {109718}{109818}but one of our senior analysts,|Reuben Feffer, {109820}{109899}had his spleen burst|just a few moments ago, and-- {109901}{109955}That's not good.|ls he gonna be all right?|Well, God willing, Leland. {109957}{110089}But anyway, be that as it may,|we have Mr. Feffer's associate here,|Mr. Sanford Lyle, {110091}{110175}who"s been briefed on the case|and will present Reuben"s recommendations. {110177}{110237}Thank you, Stanley. {110239}{110305}[ Clearing Throat Loudly ] {110365}{110483}[ Clearing Throat Loudly ]|I just need a little bit of water. {110485}{110541}[ Slurps, Groans ] {110699}{110790}[ Clearing Throat Loudly ] {110792}{110882}As you know,|this is a highly complex case. {110884}{110934}Um, let me see here. {110936}{111037}[ Clearing Throat Loudly ] {111038}{111096}Yeah, on the plus side, {111097}{111175}Leland's blood pressure is pretty solid. {111177}{111244}And he's, uh, at a decent weight, {111245}{111309}and he looks|pretty damn healthy, right? {111311}{111382}And he"s a sexy guy, right? {111384}{111514}And he is sexually active|in the community. {111721}{111781}[ Honking, Tires Screeching ] {111865}{111941}- Polly?|-J.F.K., please. {112441}{112505}[ Rodolfo Chittering ] {112689}{112726}Let's not bullcrap each other. {112728}{112814}On paper, Van Lew is one of|the riskiest sons ofbitches alive. {112816}{112881}But, people, {112883}{113000}we cannot sum up a man's life|with a bunch of numbers|on a computer screen. {113001}{113073}All right, we all need to|look into our hearts and go, {113075}{113186}"Do I think this dude is gonna die|in a few years or not?" {113188}{113260}ls old Leland here|gonna fight off a man... {113261}{113342}with the last name "Reaper,"|first name-- {113344}{113439}who goes by the last name "Reaper,"|first name "Grim"? {113441}{113513}Or will this BASE-jumping, {113570}{113626}crocodile-wrestling, {113628}{113729}shark-diving,|volcano-luging, {113730}{113812}bear-fighting,|snake-wrangling, {113813}{113893}motocross-racing bastard die? {113895}{114011}And the answer is no, friends, {114013}{114086}which is why myself, {114088}{114165}Reuben Feffer, Stan... {114201}{114257}and all of us here|at lndurby and Friends... {114259}{114325}are willing to lay our asses|on the line... {114326}{114407}and proudly recommend|that Leland Van Lew... {114409}{114491}receive fifty million dollars|in life and health... {114493}{114542}and automobile insurance... {114544}{114628}for a duration of no less than 20 years. {114693}{114757}Hey, what do you think, guys? {114825}{114871}Are you that kid from Crocodile Tears? {114960}{115006}You're goddamn right I am. {115008}{115104}I thought so.|lmpressive presentation.|He's insured. {115106}{115171}Yeah! Bloody ripper!|Congratulations. {115173}{115246}Love ya, son! {115365}{115437}[ Beeping ] {115474}{115537}[ Polly ]|Rodolfo, wait! {115539}{115600}l'm so sorry!|[ Beeping lntensifies ] {115731}{115816}Reuben, it's too late.|I have to be on a plane|in, like, 45 minutes. {115818}{115865}I don't think|you really wanna leave here. {115866}{115938}You have no idea what I want. {115940}{115990}You left Rodolfo behind.|Does that mean anything to you? {116049}{116131}Look, I made a mistake, all right?|I should've never put you in|the Riskmaster. {116133}{116184}Truth is, no matter|what happened on our honeymoon, {116186}{116245}you're much riskier|than Lisa could ever be.|Yes. {116246}{116301}Right. That's why|it's not gonna work out between us. {116302}{116379}Reuben, you are a nice, safe,|conventional guy. {116381}{116427}Just--|lt's not gonna work out. {116429}{116493}I don't think|that's who I really am. {116494}{116544}lt is, Reuben.|That's okay. {116546}{116614}What do I have to do|to prove it to you? Huh? {116616}{116665}Hey!|Huh? {116667}{116743}What are you--|Oh, my God. {116745}{116804}Hey, look.|Look, l'm eating nuts. {116831}{116890}- What the hell are you doing?|- Those nuts aren't even dirty. {116892}{116940}Hey. {116967}{117017}Oh! {117081}{117158}Since we've been together,|l've felt more uncomfortable, {117160}{117206}out of place, embarrassed... {117208}{117278}and just physically sick|than I have in my entire life. {117280}{117326}But I couldn"t have|gone through all that-- {117328}{117445}I couldn't have thrown up|1 9 times in 48 days... {117446}{117506}if I wasn't in love with you. {117575}{117639}Maybe you were right.|Maybe this is just a fling. {117641}{117692}But if you get on that plane|and you go to Cincinnati... {117693}{117746}or Tanzania|or wherever you're going, {117748}{117812}we'll never know if|it could've been something more. {117857}{117905}Oh, no.|No, no, no. {117907}{118008}No. Oh, no.|N-No. {118163}{118231}- Oh, Reuben.|- Please don't eat those. {118289}{118335}No, really. {118337}{118372}Oh, God. {118505}{118552}I don't want you to go away, Polly. {118590}{118637}l'm not gonna marry you, Reuben. {118638}{118711}I don't wanna get married. {118713}{118774}I just wanna take you to dinner... {118776}{118822}sometime this week. {118952}{118994}Can I pick the place? {119367}{119415}Solid. {119443}{119489}Excuse me. Hi. Hello. {119491}{119590}I see you two are new to the island.|I want to come have a meet-- {119592}{119640}Oh, my stars and stripe.|Leuban! {119642}{119725}Oh, my God.|I cannot believe it is you.|This is Polly. {119727}{119759}Hi, Polly.|I am Claude. {119761}{119825}Wow. Hi.|So how's it goin'? {119827}{119883}ln truth, uh, {119885}{119944}it has been a little bit|tough noogies for me. {119946}{120019}Lisa, she-- she broke my heart. {120021}{120097}- l'm sorry to hear that.|- Ah. That is life, huh? {120098}{120162}Well, you have to be like the hippo. {120164}{120246}Exactly. Like the hippo. {120248}{120356}So, let me guess.|You are here on honeymoon again?|This is your beautiful bride? {120358}{120417}Oh, no, no, no, no, no.|We're just, uh--|We're just hangin' out. {120419}{120467}Oh, come on.|lt's a little more serious than that. {120469}{120517}Well, yeah.|l'm just sayin' we're not married.|Right. {120519}{120583}- No, definitely not married.|But it"s possible.|- lt is possible. {120585}{120658}We"re takin"things step by step,|seein"how they work out. {120660}{120720}Okay, I don't really understand|what you are talking about, {120721}{120794}but, uh, any chance|you are for scuba today? {120796}{120850}You know what?|Actually, we are for scuba. {120852}{120913}- No way,Jose!|- Yes way,Jose! {120915}{120966}But we're goin' out with that guy. {120968}{121075}Hey, Leland!|We"ll be out there in a minute! {121077}{121174}Ah, you know what?|As long as you are for scuba, Leuban,|I am happy. {121176}{121234}Oh. Sweet. {121236}{121305}So, au revoir, my good friend.|Okay. Hey. {121307}{121370}Thank you for everything, Claude. {121372}{121446}lt's good to see you again.|Good-bye, Polly. {121448}{121500}Good-bye.|Nice to meet you, Claude. {121502}{121549}You as well. {121584}{121661}So you ready?|Let's do it. {121663}{121741}But you can"t seem to get enough {121743}{121811}Let my love open the door {121813}{121883}Let my love open the door {121885}{121939}Let me love open the door {121941}{122023}To your heart|Let my love open the door {122025}{122092}Let my love open the door {122093}{122130}Let my love open the door {122161}{122233}Let my love open the door {122234}{122305}When everything feels all over {122307}{122372}When everybody seems unkind {122373}{122441}l'll give you a four-leaf clover {122443}{122511}Take all the worry|out of your mind {122513}{122580}Let my love open the door {122581}{122649}Let my love open the door {122650}{122712}Let my love open the door {122713}{122785}To your heart|Let my love open the door {122786}{122861}To your heart|Let my love open the door {122863}{122930}Let my love open the door {122932}{123017}Let my love open the door {123019}{123083}I have the only key to your heart {123085}{123144}I can stop you falling apart {123146}{123213}Try today,you"ll find this way {123215}{123280}Come on and give me a chance to say {123281}{123341}Let my love open the door {123342}{123420}lt"s all l"m living for {123421}{123489}Release yourself from misery {123491}{123554}There"s only one thing|gonna set you free {123556}{123620}That"s my love {123622}{123689}That"s my love {123690}{123757}Let my love open the door {123759}{123829}Let my love open the door {123830}{123897}Let my love open the door {123898}{123982}Let my love open the door {123984}{124043}When tragedy befalls you {124045}{124114}Don"t let it drag you down {124116}{124184}Love can cure your problem {124185}{124252}You"re so lucky l"m around {124253}{124324}Let my love open the door {124325}{124388}Let my love open the door {124389}{124456}Let my love open the door {124457}{124505}To your heart83550