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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:11,414 Okay, so my wife and I just finished watching "Psycho," 2 00:00:11,415 --> 00:00:13,622 and now she's taking a shower. 3 00:00:13,623 --> 00:00:16,932 Who takes a shower after watching "Psycho," right? 4 00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:21,223 So I'm gonna play a little trick on her. 5 00:00:21,224 --> 00:00:22,224 Watch. 6 00:00:24,325 --> 00:00:26,025 (whistling in shower) 7 00:00:30,710 --> 00:00:31,892 (wife screaming) 8 00:00:31,893 --> 00:00:33,585 (thud) - Oh my God! 9 00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:35,784 No! No! 10 00:00:36,898 --> 00:00:39,425 [Child] Oh my God, what did you do to Mom? 11 00:00:39,426 --> 00:00:42,230 It was an accident! She just slipped! 12 00:00:42,231 --> 00:00:43,410 I'm calling the cops! 13 00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:44,557 Wait, wait, wait, just! 14 00:00:44,558 --> 00:00:46,229 - Let go of me! - Just wait! 15 00:00:46,230 --> 00:00:48,878 (Child screaming) (crash, bones snapping) 16 00:00:48,879 --> 00:00:52,007 Oh my God! No, no, no! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 17 00:00:54,842 --> 00:00:56,487 What have I done? 18 00:01:04,404 --> 00:01:08,606 ♪ Listen people, and listen well ♪ 19 00:01:08,607 --> 00:01:11,822 ♪ I've got myself a little story to tell ♪ 20 00:01:11,823 --> 00:01:13,547 ♪ The kind that make you sweat ♪ 21 00:01:13,548 --> 00:01:16,408 ♪ Turn you into wreck ♪ 22 00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:20,256 ♪ Make the hair stand up on the back of your neck ♪ 23 00:01:20,257 --> 00:01:24,496 ♪ Something's happened we cannot explain ♪ 24 00:01:24,497 --> 00:01:27,436 ♪ But they're happenin' just the same ♪ 25 00:01:27,437 --> 00:01:29,671 ♪ Like you wake in the night ♪ 26 00:01:29,672 --> 00:01:32,012 ♪ With something strange in your bed ♪ 27 00:01:32,013 --> 00:01:33,627 ♪ You tell yourself it's nothing ♪ 28 00:01:33,628 --> 00:01:35,958 ♪ It's all in your head ♪ 29 00:01:36,850 --> 00:01:39,108 I've got a good feeling about this place, 30 00:01:39,109 --> 00:01:40,518 and it's fully furnished. 31 00:01:40,519 --> 00:01:42,625 Why does the listing say it's "evil"? 32 00:01:42,626 --> 00:01:44,446 That's the East Village. 33 00:01:44,447 --> 00:01:46,067 You know, it's just an abbreviation 34 00:01:46,068 --> 00:01:49,925 like SoHo, Dumbo, Tribeca, the eVil. 35 00:01:49,926 --> 00:01:52,465 You know, we could get more space in Brooklyn. 36 00:01:52,466 --> 00:01:54,813 Brooklyn's priced out now too. 37 00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:57,013 Dude, what do you got against this place anyway? 38 00:01:57,014 --> 00:02:00,106 - It's too cheap. - Oh, what a great problem 39 00:02:00,107 --> 00:02:03,292 to have. What will we do with all of our extra money? 40 00:02:03,293 --> 00:02:06,355 Alex, there's got to be something wrong with it. 41 00:02:06,356 --> 00:02:10,248 Nobody rents a three bedroom for two grand in East Village. 42 00:02:10,249 --> 00:02:12,883 The eVil, get with the times, Ben. 43 00:02:16,850 --> 00:02:18,092 (ominous music) 44 00:02:31,098 --> 00:02:35,377 Hi, Ben, hi, Alex. I am Parker. So good to meet you. 45 00:02:35,378 --> 00:02:36,935 So you're here for the eVil three bedroom? 46 00:02:36,936 --> 00:02:38,777 - Yeah. - Awesome, let's go look. 47 00:02:38,778 --> 00:02:41,022 (eerie music) (door creaking) 48 00:02:42,072 --> 00:02:43,867 Now the entrance isn't so inviting, 49 00:02:43,868 --> 00:02:46,661 but it gets better, I promise. 50 00:02:46,662 --> 00:02:48,538 So each unit has its own floor, 51 00:02:48,539 --> 00:02:50,321 and we're going to Number Two. 52 00:02:50,322 --> 00:02:51,635 But isn't this the third floor? 53 00:02:51,636 --> 00:02:53,921 Oh, yes, but there's no unit on the ground floor. 54 00:02:53,922 --> 00:02:56,519 So Number One is one flight up, Number Two is two flights. 55 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:57,726 It's very French. 56 00:02:57,727 --> 00:02:58,727 Ooh la la! 57 00:03:01,023 --> 00:03:04,565 So it's a fully-furnished three bedroom. 58 00:03:09,101 --> 00:03:10,692 Doesn't get a lot of daylight. 59 00:03:10,693 --> 00:03:15,625 (gasps) Ooh, I think we just found our dream apartment. 60 00:03:15,626 --> 00:03:17,762 Mmm! And it's near three subway lines, 61 00:03:17,763 --> 00:03:20,622 has two full closets... - Get out! 62 00:03:20,623 --> 00:03:23,115 - [echo] Get out! - an eat-in kitchen. 63 00:03:23,116 --> 00:03:26,343 - Wow. - What's wrong with it? 64 00:03:26,344 --> 00:03:29,405 Oh, you know, it's an old building. 65 00:03:29,406 --> 00:03:30,720 The lights flicker sometimes, 66 00:03:30,721 --> 00:03:32,753 the hot water runs out too fast. 67 00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:34,583 Oh, and it's supposedly haunted. 68 00:03:34,584 --> 00:03:35,918 The last tenant went crazy, 69 00:03:35,919 --> 00:03:37,774 killed his wife and child, chopped up their bodies, 70 00:03:37,775 --> 00:03:39,932 buried them in the garden, and blew his brains out. 71 00:03:39,933 --> 00:03:41,699 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 72 00:03:42,796 --> 00:03:43,995 There's a garden? 73 00:03:43,996 --> 00:03:46,129 - There is! - No, no! 74 00:03:46,130 --> 00:03:49,531 Go back to the other thing. - Oh, I know. 75 00:03:49,532 --> 00:03:52,642 I was kind of freaked out about that myself at first. 76 00:03:52,643 --> 00:03:53,767 But yes, 77 00:03:53,768 --> 00:03:57,020 there is a 432-square-foot eat-in kitchen 78 00:03:57,021 --> 00:04:00,441 with a gas stove. - No, no, no, the murders? 79 00:04:00,442 --> 00:04:03,734 Oh, that. Yeah, well, he claimed it was an accident. 80 00:04:03,735 --> 00:04:07,731 He only cut up and hid the bodies because he panicked. 81 00:04:07,732 --> 00:04:12,210 Look, the listing did say, this place is evil. 82 00:04:12,211 --> 00:04:14,184 Now, the lease holder insisted I'd be up front 83 00:04:14,185 --> 00:04:17,705 about how a lot of the previous tenants came to 84 00:04:17,706 --> 00:04:19,473 horrific ends. - A lot? 85 00:04:19,474 --> 00:04:23,250 I like to say don't focus on the rumors. 86 00:04:23,251 --> 00:04:26,575 Focus on the rooms. 87 00:04:26,576 --> 00:04:28,020 They're high ceilings. 88 00:04:28,021 --> 00:04:29,990 High enough to hang your large artwork. 89 00:04:29,991 --> 00:04:32,447 - Or yourself. - Whatever floats your boat. 90 00:04:32,448 --> 00:04:34,631 (laughs) Let's go see the kitchen. 91 00:04:39,044 --> 00:04:42,244 New fridge, new stove, big oven. 92 00:04:44,115 --> 00:04:45,676 Oh yeah. 93 00:04:46,542 --> 00:04:47,932 Look at all this storage space. 94 00:04:47,933 --> 00:04:49,715 So the garden is out here. 95 00:04:49,716 --> 00:04:52,307 Just under the fire escape. (children playing) 96 00:04:52,308 --> 00:04:55,115 Perfect place to get away, clear your head. 97 00:04:55,116 --> 00:04:56,945 And it's shared with the other families in the building? 98 00:04:56,946 --> 00:04:58,263 Three other units. 99 00:05:00,195 --> 00:05:02,906 They're all currently vacant. 100 00:05:02,907 --> 00:05:05,339 Wait, we're the only ones here? 101 00:05:05,340 --> 00:05:07,319 The other apartments are empty? 102 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:08,767 Don't get too spoiled. 103 00:05:08,768 --> 00:05:11,593 In this market, the other units will fill up soon. 104 00:05:13,988 --> 00:05:15,956 This room's set up as an office, 105 00:05:15,957 --> 00:05:18,624 but it could be another bedroom. 106 00:05:21,202 --> 00:05:23,355 Master bedroom. 107 00:05:23,356 --> 00:05:28,323 Oh, that's kinda cool. Wow. 108 00:05:31,118 --> 00:05:32,839 Oh my God, what is this? 109 00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:34,997 A lot of the past tenants left in a hurry. 110 00:05:34,998 --> 00:05:37,500 So people's stuff just got thrown in here. 111 00:05:37,501 --> 00:05:40,613 Before or after they were hauled off to the sanitarium? 112 00:05:40,614 --> 00:05:42,826 No, the last tenant that happened to, 113 00:05:42,827 --> 00:05:44,567 they got rid of his stuff. 114 00:05:44,568 --> 00:05:46,800 I could have my recording booth in here. 115 00:05:46,801 --> 00:05:49,717 I don't know. It doesn't feel right. 116 00:05:49,718 --> 00:05:50,742 I totally get it, 117 00:05:50,743 --> 00:05:52,970 I can show you other listings in this price range. 118 00:05:52,971 --> 00:05:54,636 In Manhattan? 119 00:05:55,745 --> 00:05:56,969 No. 120 00:05:56,970 --> 00:05:59,327 But East New York, Gravesend. 121 00:05:59,328 --> 00:06:02,745 Are you open to the Bronx? 122 00:06:03,637 --> 00:06:06,571 So it's just first and last month's rent, 123 00:06:06,572 --> 00:06:09,425 one month's security deposit, my fee, and the credit check. 124 00:06:09,426 --> 00:06:12,808 It just amounts to $8,100. 125 00:06:12,809 --> 00:06:14,235 Do you take credit cards? 126 00:06:14,236 --> 00:06:15,428 No. 127 00:06:23,345 --> 00:06:25,160 Lorne, we're so late. 128 00:06:25,161 --> 00:06:26,270 Please don't stop to give out charms 129 00:06:26,271 --> 00:06:27,783 to homeless people again. 130 00:06:27,784 --> 00:06:31,017 You're so mean. When did you get so mean? 131 00:06:31,018 --> 00:06:32,393 I'm not mean. 132 00:06:36,738 --> 00:06:39,013 Oh, excuse us, sorry. 133 00:06:40,955 --> 00:06:41,955 Alex! 134 00:06:43,104 --> 00:06:45,895 I had to stop and buy this good luck charm 135 00:06:45,896 --> 00:06:47,948 from a homeless man. 136 00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:49,509 I think if it was really lucky, 137 00:06:49,510 --> 00:06:51,416 he would've been less homeless. 138 00:06:51,417 --> 00:06:53,304 But we need all the luck we can get. 139 00:06:53,305 --> 00:06:55,286 Look, the best part about it, it's a whistle. 140 00:06:55,287 --> 00:06:58,728 Don't put your lips on it! (whistle screeching) 141 00:07:05,051 --> 00:07:06,542 (mysterious music) 142 00:07:15,271 --> 00:07:18,060 So I found him in a secondhand store 143 00:07:18,061 --> 00:07:20,365 and I decided to bring him home. 144 00:07:20,366 --> 00:07:22,142 - Why? - I don't know. 145 00:07:22,143 --> 00:07:23,507 I thought maybe I could learn 146 00:07:23,508 --> 00:07:25,613 a ventriloquist act or something. 147 00:07:25,614 --> 00:07:28,343 Not a typical 21st century career 148 00:07:28,344 --> 00:07:31,888 or hobby choice, but okay. - I know, right? 149 00:07:31,889 --> 00:07:36,534 So I put him in a rocking chair opposite my bed. 150 00:07:36,535 --> 00:07:38,899 You have seriously never seen a horror movie, have you? 151 00:07:38,900 --> 00:07:39,900 No, why? 152 00:07:40,989 --> 00:07:43,196 So when I woke up, 153 00:07:43,197 --> 00:07:46,563 there was blood running out of his mouth, 154 00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:52,267 and all my roommates were dead. 155 00:07:52,268 --> 00:07:53,500 And then 156 00:07:53,501 --> 00:07:56,054 I woke up for real. - Oh, Jesus! 157 00:07:56,055 --> 00:07:57,549 No, you don't understand. 158 00:07:57,550 --> 00:08:00,913 I've been having nightmares like this every night. 159 00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:03,023 They said you deal with this sort of thing. 160 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:05,013 - Who? - Yelp. 161 00:08:05,014 --> 00:08:08,111 Okay, what you have here is what is commonly referred to 162 00:08:08,112 --> 00:08:10,431 as a creepy fucking doll. 163 00:08:10,432 --> 00:08:13,529 And you're having nightmares because it's fucking creepy. 164 00:08:13,530 --> 00:08:17,678 There is nothing supernatural about this stick of wood. 165 00:08:17,679 --> 00:08:20,236 Can you just test it to be sure? 166 00:08:20,237 --> 00:08:21,828 There's not really any kind of... 167 00:08:23,137 --> 00:08:24,202 No! 168 00:08:24,203 --> 00:08:27,670 They say that you can sense things. 169 00:08:27,671 --> 00:08:30,024 My husband is not some circus freak here 170 00:08:30,025 --> 00:08:31,942 to amaze and amuse you. 171 00:08:34,082 --> 00:08:35,898 Okay, technically, but... 172 00:08:35,899 --> 00:08:38,328 Look, if there's nothing supernatural about it, 173 00:08:38,329 --> 00:08:40,757 then there's nothing to worry about or fear. 174 00:08:40,758 --> 00:08:43,724 But if there is, shouldn't I be the one to know? 175 00:08:43,725 --> 00:08:46,262 - It can't hurt, Ned. - Lorne... 176 00:08:46,263 --> 00:08:47,263 Thank you. 177 00:08:50,338 --> 00:08:52,138 (suspenseful music) 178 00:08:58,536 --> 00:08:59,807 Babe? 179 00:08:59,808 --> 00:09:01,934 Oh, you used him as a sex toy? 180 00:09:01,935 --> 00:09:02,768 Oh, no! You really... 181 00:09:02,769 --> 00:09:04,643 No wonder you're having nightmares. 182 00:09:04,644 --> 00:09:06,570 - I'm having nightmares. - Oh, come on. 183 00:09:06,571 --> 00:09:08,327 It was one time! - Get out! 184 00:09:08,328 --> 00:09:10,857 Wait, wait, wanna see my ventriloquist act? 185 00:09:10,858 --> 00:09:11,691 - No! - No! 186 00:09:11,692 --> 00:09:13,858 This is my hit song, it's called "Saltwater Taffy." 187 00:09:13,859 --> 00:09:14,999 Get out! 188 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,874 ♪ Who wants a saltwater taffy ♪ 189 00:09:16,875 --> 00:09:18,665 ♪ I've got a saltwater taffy ♪ 190 00:09:18,666 --> 00:09:22,513 ♪ Hey, hey, hey, who wants a saltwater taffy ♪ 191 00:09:22,514 --> 00:09:24,671 ♪ I've got a saltwater taffy ♪ 192 00:09:26,171 --> 00:09:29,088 (mysterious music) 193 00:09:35,778 --> 00:09:38,222 It's crazy. We can't afford to stay in our place, 194 00:09:38,223 --> 00:09:41,858 but we also can't afford to move to a cheaper one. 195 00:09:41,859 --> 00:09:46,692 So you are a computer programmer, and you are an actress. 196 00:09:47,756 --> 00:09:49,176 Voiceover artist. 197 00:09:49,177 --> 00:09:51,750 Well, we certainly can give you an overdraft loan. 198 00:09:51,751 --> 00:09:55,550 There will of course be a fee and a 21% finance charge. 199 00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:59,724 21%? What's the interest on our savings account pay? 200 00:09:59,725 --> 00:10:02,783 - 0.01%. - Why is it so much cheaper 201 00:10:02,784 --> 00:10:04,686 for you to borrow money from us? 202 00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:07,060 We obviously aren't borrowing money from you. 203 00:10:07,061 --> 00:10:08,086 Isn't that the deal? 204 00:10:08,087 --> 00:10:10,564 Like, while you're holding our money, 205 00:10:10,565 --> 00:10:12,637 don't you speculate with it in a bunch of... 206 00:10:12,638 --> 00:10:14,733 What's it? Dirigibles? - Deliberatives. 207 00:10:14,734 --> 00:10:16,045 - Derivatives. - Thank you. 208 00:10:16,046 --> 00:10:17,626 - And we are not. - And you know what? 209 00:10:17,627 --> 00:10:19,221 We actually would have the money 210 00:10:19,222 --> 00:10:22,287 if you didn't charge us a fee every month for the privilege 211 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,012 of letting you borrow our money. 212 00:10:24,013 --> 00:10:27,126 The fee is because you don't have more money 213 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:30,213 in your account. - Oh, Ben, that's it. 214 00:10:30,214 --> 00:10:32,341 We should have just had more money. 215 00:10:32,342 --> 00:10:34,587 You really should keep more money set aside. 216 00:10:34,588 --> 00:10:37,539 I mean, especially at your age. 217 00:10:37,540 --> 00:10:39,572 Okay, you know what? 218 00:10:39,573 --> 00:10:40,863 We might not have made 219 00:10:40,864 --> 00:10:43,369 all the best financial decisions so far, 220 00:10:43,370 --> 00:10:47,168 but at least we haven't needed the taxpayers to bail us out 221 00:10:47,169 --> 00:10:49,761 to the tune of a trillion dollars. 222 00:10:49,762 --> 00:10:52,094 So I'm not here to be lectured by a loan shark 223 00:10:52,095 --> 00:10:54,236 with a gambling problem. - Excuse me? 224 00:10:54,237 --> 00:10:57,063 Listen, Sparky, if we write this check today, 225 00:10:57,064 --> 00:10:59,310 will it clear or not? - Technically, yes. 226 00:10:59,311 --> 00:11:02,327 Then we're done here. Thank you. 227 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:22,229 (ominous music) 228 00:11:28,129 --> 00:11:30,543 Why is this chest so heavy? 229 00:11:30,544 --> 00:11:32,197 I put a lot of heavy stuff in it. 230 00:11:32,198 --> 00:11:34,962 Ben, you don't fill up a chest like this 231 00:11:34,963 --> 00:11:37,292 when you're moving. - Yes, you do. 232 00:11:37,293 --> 00:11:40,401 Otherwise, it would take you like 10 trips 233 00:11:40,402 --> 00:11:42,296 to get this many books up here. 234 00:11:42,297 --> 00:11:44,515 Wow, just wow. 235 00:11:44,516 --> 00:11:46,353 - You're welcome. - I can't believe y'all 236 00:11:46,354 --> 00:11:48,567 are paying $2,000 a month for this. 237 00:11:48,568 --> 00:11:50,283 [Hedy] I know. Great deal, right? 238 00:11:50,284 --> 00:11:53,150 No, it's more than the mortgage on my house. 239 00:11:53,151 --> 00:11:55,188 We have an eat-in kitchen. 240 00:11:55,189 --> 00:11:57,389 We have a pool and a tennis court. 241 00:11:57,390 --> 00:11:58,365 Yeah, 242 00:11:58,366 --> 00:12:00,256 but you live in Alabama. 243 00:12:01,457 --> 00:12:03,935 Whoa, what is that? 244 00:12:03,936 --> 00:12:06,091 [Ben] Oh, it's an old Coney Island banner. 245 00:12:06,092 --> 00:12:07,926 We'll take you out there this weekend. 246 00:12:13,286 --> 00:12:15,846 [Hedy] Alex, this place is wild. 247 00:12:15,847 --> 00:12:17,380 I know, right? 248 00:12:17,381 --> 00:12:19,039 It's like every single person 249 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:20,985 who ever lived here left their stuff 250 00:12:20,986 --> 00:12:23,032 and scooted out in the middle of the night. 251 00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:25,734 Ah, it's like they just ghosted. 252 00:12:25,735 --> 00:12:30,386 Hey, Ben? Don't you find it weird that your wife 253 00:12:30,387 --> 00:12:34,040 and her ex-wife are still friends? 254 00:12:34,041 --> 00:12:37,960 We're New Yorkers, Sis. We don't find anything weird. 255 00:12:37,961 --> 00:12:40,505 Well, I still don't understand 256 00:12:40,506 --> 00:12:42,397 what y'all are paying for this. 257 00:12:42,398 --> 00:12:45,850 [Oliver] Seriously, such a good deal! I pay more than that 258 00:12:45,851 --> 00:12:47,973 and my apartment doesn't even have a bathroom. 259 00:12:47,974 --> 00:12:48,974 [Ben] Alex! 260 00:12:50,632 --> 00:12:52,523 Why do we have so many bowls? 261 00:12:52,524 --> 00:12:54,939 [Oliver] I'll take some if you want. 262 00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,847 I could really use them. 263 00:12:56,848 --> 00:12:59,160 Oh, y'all need some fresh milk. 264 00:12:59,161 --> 00:13:00,486 I just got it. 265 00:13:13,506 --> 00:13:15,839 [Alex] Thanks, Oliver. Thank you. 266 00:13:36,555 --> 00:13:38,913 (music box playing) 267 00:13:54,912 --> 00:13:56,437 Oh my God. 268 00:14:00,905 --> 00:14:01,880 Nope! 269 00:14:01,881 --> 00:14:03,413 Buh-bye. 270 00:14:06,597 --> 00:14:09,846 Oh, you guys, I just cannot thank you enough. 271 00:14:09,847 --> 00:14:13,187 Anytime, this place is awesome. 272 00:14:13,188 --> 00:14:14,699 And let me know if you need a roommate. 273 00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:17,635 - (laughs) Okay. - No, really. 274 00:14:17,636 --> 00:14:21,017 Hey, let me ax you a question. 275 00:14:21,018 --> 00:14:22,341 What do you think this is doing here? 276 00:14:22,342 --> 00:14:24,552 Oh, that's probably what the last tenant used 277 00:14:24,553 --> 00:14:27,351 to chop up his family before he buried them in the garden. 278 00:14:27,352 --> 00:14:28,628 Oh, that makes it less funny. 279 00:14:28,629 --> 00:14:30,857 This place has a garden? 280 00:14:30,858 --> 00:14:33,596 - Oliver, you're my hero. - Anything to get out 281 00:14:33,597 --> 00:14:35,264 of my own apartment. 282 00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:40,084 Thanks, Hedy. Hey, now! Okay. 283 00:14:45,696 --> 00:14:47,003 Hey, you guys, 284 00:14:47,004 --> 00:14:48,877 there is a bag of trash just outside the door. 285 00:14:48,878 --> 00:14:50,291 Would you mind taking it down on your way? 286 00:14:50,292 --> 00:14:53,100 - Sure. - Thank you very much. 287 00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:54,669 And seriously, if you wanna get rid 288 00:14:54,670 --> 00:14:59,253 of some bowls or... - Thanks, Oliver. We're good. 289 00:15:09,345 --> 00:15:11,403 Where's that trash? 290 00:15:12,452 --> 00:15:14,688 I don't know. Maybe Ben took it? 291 00:15:33,920 --> 00:15:37,040 Hey, Ben, check this out. 292 00:15:37,041 --> 00:15:41,099 Am I crazy or does this light actually make the room darker? 293 00:15:43,774 --> 00:15:45,805 Maybe it's straining the current or something. 294 00:15:45,806 --> 00:15:50,029 Hey, how come there's a step to get into the guest room? 295 00:15:50,030 --> 00:15:52,973 The whole floor, it's a foot higher. 296 00:15:52,974 --> 00:15:56,137 You think there's something buried under the floorboards? 297 00:15:56,138 --> 00:15:57,538 Maybe. 298 00:16:01,529 --> 00:16:04,780 Here's a white noise machine, 299 00:16:04,781 --> 00:16:08,086 in case there's too much street noise. 300 00:16:08,087 --> 00:16:09,952 We got a motion-activated nightlight 301 00:16:09,953 --> 00:16:11,081 in case you gotta get up. 302 00:16:11,082 --> 00:16:14,305 Hmm, well, thanks for putting me in the freak show room. 303 00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:16,207 I'll make sure not to wake you up 304 00:16:16,208 --> 00:16:18,807 with my screaming nightmares. 305 00:16:18,808 --> 00:16:20,400 Goodnight, Sis. 306 00:16:24,283 --> 00:16:26,159 [Woman] Karen, oh my God. 307 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:27,524 You have got to try this new brunch place. 308 00:16:27,525 --> 00:16:30,852 They have oat milk martinis. - [Woman 2] Oh my God! 309 00:16:30,853 --> 00:16:34,946 (young women hooting) - [Woman 3] OMG, Karen! 310 00:16:34,947 --> 00:16:36,447 Very funny, Ben. 311 00:16:48,620 --> 00:16:49,953 What the hell? 312 00:16:55,156 --> 00:16:57,219 You're gonna have to help me up here. 313 00:16:59,027 --> 00:17:02,187 Push! Come on. 314 00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:04,670 - Looks pretty high. - Push! 315 00:17:04,671 --> 00:17:06,120 Oh! 316 00:17:06,121 --> 00:17:09,204 Oh, happy new home. - Mm-hmm. 317 00:17:16,258 --> 00:17:18,507 (clanking) 318 00:17:18,508 --> 00:17:20,082 What the fuck was that? 319 00:17:20,083 --> 00:17:21,815 Old pipes. 320 00:17:23,549 --> 00:17:25,032 (pipes thumping) 321 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,000 (eerie music) 322 00:17:48,740 --> 00:17:51,407 [voice] What did you do to me? 323 00:17:56,578 --> 00:17:59,236 What did you do to me? 324 00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:02,380 What did you do to me? 325 00:18:29,405 --> 00:18:32,031 (scratching sound) 326 00:18:48,813 --> 00:18:50,438 (Sis screaming) - Oh shit. 327 00:19:00,603 --> 00:19:01,957 Welcome to New York. 328 00:19:01,958 --> 00:19:03,771 - What happened? - Oh, it was just a roach. 329 00:19:03,772 --> 00:19:05,704 It was as big as my thumb! 330 00:19:05,705 --> 00:19:07,545 Oh, so it was a baby then. 331 00:19:07,546 --> 00:19:10,642 - That's probably the mom. - Oh God! Get it! 332 00:19:10,643 --> 00:19:12,845 - Well, it's gone now. - No, find it! 333 00:19:12,846 --> 00:19:15,575 Please, I can't even find my cell phone. 334 00:19:15,576 --> 00:19:16,746 I'm not gonna be able to find a bug 335 00:19:16,747 --> 00:19:20,309 that's slightly smaller. - Slightly? 336 00:19:20,310 --> 00:19:24,994 Okay, no, I'm not staying here. Motel! 337 00:19:30,455 --> 00:19:32,597 (mysterious music) 338 00:20:00,471 --> 00:20:02,937 (shower running, whistling) 339 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:21,360 Well you're chipper this morning. 340 00:20:21,361 --> 00:20:24,831 Hey, babe, I think we've got some black mold up there. 341 00:20:24,832 --> 00:20:26,501 We better take that seriously. 342 00:20:27,451 --> 00:20:30,451 Morning. I got us some fresh milk. 343 00:20:56,295 --> 00:20:59,212 (mysterious music) 344 00:21:13,514 --> 00:21:14,668 Oh my God. 345 00:21:18,060 --> 00:21:20,152 That's weird. 346 00:21:20,153 --> 00:21:21,869 Hey, Ben? 347 00:21:21,870 --> 00:21:23,539 Benny! 348 00:21:23,540 --> 00:21:25,098 Cupcake? 349 00:21:26,048 --> 00:21:27,048 Lollipop! 350 00:21:27,049 --> 00:21:29,501 Ding-doing! Muffin! What the...? 351 00:21:30,527 --> 00:21:33,027 What... Ben! What are you...? What? 352 00:21:34,448 --> 00:21:37,436 Did you not hear me screaming my lungs out for you in there? 353 00:21:37,437 --> 00:21:38,925 - No, what's up? - Did you come in 354 00:21:38,926 --> 00:21:40,949 and take my paper towels? (negative grunt) 355 00:21:40,950 --> 00:21:42,409 What? 356 00:21:46,178 --> 00:21:50,944 Hey, Lexi, please add paper towels to my shopping list. 357 00:21:50,945 --> 00:21:54,097 [Lexi] You have 13 items on your shopping list. 358 00:21:54,098 --> 00:21:56,268 What did you add? 359 00:21:56,269 --> 00:21:59,581 Hey, Lexi, what's on my shopping list? 360 00:21:59,582 --> 00:22:02,323 [Lexi] You have 13 items on your shopping list. 361 00:22:02,324 --> 00:22:04,606 Paper towels, fresh milk. 362 00:22:04,607 --> 00:22:07,009 You should leave here, leave now, 363 00:22:07,010 --> 00:22:10,250 leave now, leave now, leave now, leave now, 364 00:22:10,251 --> 00:22:13,407 leave now, leave now, leave now, 365 00:22:13,408 --> 00:22:16,544 bananas, leave now, leave now. 366 00:22:17,506 --> 00:22:19,547 You know, um... 367 00:22:20,721 --> 00:22:23,153 I was trying to set an alert 368 00:22:23,154 --> 00:22:25,097 to let me know when it was time to leave for work. 369 00:22:25,098 --> 00:22:26,655 I guess I just, I screwed it up. 370 00:22:26,656 --> 00:22:28,980 I'm terrible with technology. 371 00:22:28,981 --> 00:22:32,654 But you're a tech guy. Isn't that literally your job? 372 00:22:32,655 --> 00:22:34,086 Yeah, it's a problem. 373 00:22:39,378 --> 00:22:41,269 (woman screaming) 374 00:22:41,270 --> 00:22:42,699 (carnival music) 375 00:22:47,091 --> 00:22:49,956 [Ben] This is the oldest operating Ferris wheel 376 00:22:49,957 --> 00:22:50,790 in the country. 377 00:22:50,791 --> 00:22:52,916 [Sis] Well, that doesn't make me feel safer. 378 00:22:52,917 --> 00:22:54,530 Oh, it's great. 379 00:22:58,065 --> 00:23:00,541 The Wonder Wheel opened up in 1920, 380 00:23:00,542 --> 00:23:02,722 and it's the first Ferris wheel to ever do this. 381 00:23:05,488 --> 00:23:06,887 - What? - Oh, you'll see. 382 00:23:08,373 --> 00:23:11,214 (screaming) 383 00:23:11,215 --> 00:23:12,221 Shh! No screaming. 384 00:23:12,222 --> 00:23:14,054 You've gotta record your audition tomorrow. 385 00:23:14,055 --> 00:23:15,289 In that room? 386 00:23:15,290 --> 00:23:17,792 Oh, I would be a nervous wreck if I had to record 387 00:23:17,793 --> 00:23:19,515 with all those sirens and party people 388 00:23:19,516 --> 00:23:22,524 and weeping children next door. 389 00:23:22,525 --> 00:23:24,598 Don't let nerves get the best of you. 390 00:23:24,599 --> 00:23:28,246 Ask your doctor about Raehydu. - What? 391 00:23:28,247 --> 00:23:30,317 That's my audition. Wait, get this. 392 00:23:30,318 --> 00:23:33,652 "Stop taking Raehydu if you experience uncontrolled bleeding 393 00:23:33,653 --> 00:23:36,028 from the mouth, nose, or rectum, loss of hair 394 00:23:36,029 --> 00:23:39,337 or fingernails or suicidal thoughts or actions." 395 00:23:39,338 --> 00:23:40,339 Let me just tell you something. 396 00:23:40,340 --> 00:23:43,078 If I were bleeding from my nose, mouth, and rectum, 397 00:23:43,079 --> 00:23:45,047 losing my hair and fingernails, 398 00:23:45,048 --> 00:23:47,994 I would definitely be having some suicidal thoughts. 399 00:23:47,995 --> 00:23:50,980 Whoo! - Whoo! 400 00:23:50,981 --> 00:23:53,438 Shh, no screaming, no screaming. 401 00:23:53,439 --> 00:23:55,088 Oh, mama! 402 00:23:59,647 --> 00:24:03,371 So I got this really cool Ouija board back tattoo, 403 00:24:03,372 --> 00:24:04,898 but I think I might've summoned Satan 404 00:24:04,899 --> 00:24:07,983 when I was getting a massage. - Uh-huh. 405 00:24:08,953 --> 00:24:11,126 See my masseuse, she just started talking 406 00:24:11,127 --> 00:24:14,136 in Greek, like outta the blue. 407 00:24:14,137 --> 00:24:17,587 - Is your masseuse Greek? - How should I know? 408 00:24:17,588 --> 00:24:19,257 Okay, fair. 409 00:24:21,241 --> 00:24:24,753 [Alex] (laughs) "Grandmother's Predictions." 410 00:24:24,754 --> 00:24:27,912 All right, what's she got to say about you? 411 00:24:30,265 --> 00:24:32,215 "You are known for your generosity, 412 00:24:32,216 --> 00:24:35,532 but sometimes friends take advantage of you." 413 00:24:35,533 --> 00:24:39,894 Huh, "A journey awaits you with promise of riches." 414 00:24:39,895 --> 00:24:42,657 You will return changed." - Ooh. 415 00:24:42,658 --> 00:24:43,658 I like it. 416 00:24:45,534 --> 00:24:48,246 Okay, it's completely black. 417 00:24:48,247 --> 00:24:52,996 - Spook-a-Rama! - Ooh, Spook-a-Rama! 418 00:24:52,997 --> 00:24:55,519 Don't you think that's weird? 419 00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:57,641 Jesus! - I am not riding alone. 420 00:24:57,642 --> 00:25:00,236 Aw, then I have to ride by myself. 421 00:25:01,144 --> 00:25:03,411 Wah! I gotta ride by myself. 422 00:25:03,412 --> 00:25:05,513 They take your picture on this ride. 423 00:25:05,514 --> 00:25:06,638 So if you scream like a baby, 424 00:25:06,639 --> 00:25:08,580 I'm gonna post it for everyone to see. 425 00:25:08,581 --> 00:25:11,339 (fun house music & noises) Ooh-ho-ho. 426 00:25:29,572 --> 00:25:33,589 [Alex] Hey guys? What just happened? 427 00:25:37,705 --> 00:25:38,921 Hello? 428 00:25:41,487 --> 00:25:42,527 Where's Alex? 429 00:25:42,528 --> 00:25:44,808 (gasps) Look, there's our picture! 430 00:25:49,807 --> 00:25:51,057 Hey guys? 431 00:25:52,224 --> 00:25:54,753 (moaning) 432 00:26:01,955 --> 00:26:04,797 Ah shit! Oh, my God! What the...? 433 00:26:18,025 --> 00:26:20,453 Fuck! Oh my God! 434 00:26:20,454 --> 00:26:21,454 Oh my God! 435 00:26:22,174 --> 00:26:23,007 - What, hey? - You guys, 436 00:26:23,008 --> 00:26:24,665 that ride was way too scary. - You all right? 437 00:26:24,666 --> 00:26:26,494 Did you see that freaky-ass man in there? 438 00:26:26,495 --> 00:26:28,248 What, freaky-ass man like he was weird 439 00:26:28,249 --> 00:26:30,159 or freaky ass-man like he was into your butt? 440 00:26:30,160 --> 00:26:31,304 'Cause there's guys like that. - Yeah. 441 00:26:31,305 --> 00:26:33,236 You guys, all I know, 442 00:26:33,237 --> 00:26:35,304 you were in the car in front of me, right? 443 00:26:35,305 --> 00:26:37,343 And then all of a sudden, I dunno what happened 444 00:26:37,344 --> 00:26:40,013 - Lorne! - Hey, hey, hey, hey! 445 00:26:40,014 --> 00:26:41,469 What the fuck? - I'm sorry, 446 00:26:41,470 --> 00:26:42,604 my husband is prone to fits. 447 00:26:42,605 --> 00:26:44,401 Well, keep your hands off of my wife! 448 00:26:44,402 --> 00:26:45,334 - Lorne... - It's okay, it's okay. 449 00:26:45,335 --> 00:26:46,965 Can we just go? - What just happened? 450 00:26:46,966 --> 00:26:48,118 You embarrassed yourself again. 451 00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:50,035 That's a freaky-ass man. 452 00:26:50,036 --> 00:26:51,677 - You okay? - What the fuck? 453 00:26:51,678 --> 00:26:53,752 You can't keep doing this. 454 00:26:53,753 --> 00:26:55,785 Ned, they need our help. 455 00:26:55,786 --> 00:27:00,786 ♪ Here comes that wave of ghosts ♪ 456 00:27:02,905 --> 00:27:05,621 ♪ Rising up again ♪ 457 00:27:07,197 --> 00:27:08,554 (woman screaming) 458 00:27:08,555 --> 00:27:10,260 (suspenseful music on TV) 459 00:27:24,899 --> 00:27:27,348 Is there some kind of draft in here? 460 00:27:27,349 --> 00:27:29,475 You and your scented candles. 461 00:27:29,476 --> 00:27:31,901 Man, it's the only way to get any light in here. 462 00:27:31,902 --> 00:27:34,293 You know what they really should make? 463 00:27:34,294 --> 00:27:36,344 Fart-scented candles. (Alex laughing) 464 00:27:36,345 --> 00:27:39,345 That way, nobody'd think it was you. 465 00:27:40,413 --> 00:27:41,975 That's the worst idea I've ever heard. 466 00:27:41,976 --> 00:27:44,877 People would be like, "Did he just...?" 467 00:27:44,878 --> 00:27:46,886 "Oh, it's the candle." 468 00:27:48,017 --> 00:27:49,521 [Alex] What are you watching? 469 00:27:49,522 --> 00:27:51,464 [Ben] Oh, some horror movie. 470 00:27:51,465 --> 00:27:53,909 Oh, my God! Why does anyone 471 00:27:53,910 --> 00:27:56,654 in a horror movie go down to the basement? 472 00:27:56,655 --> 00:27:59,040 Because they don't know they're in a horror movie. 473 00:27:59,041 --> 00:28:03,100 No one should ever go down to the basement, period. 474 00:28:03,101 --> 00:28:08,101 (victim screaming) See (laughs)? 475 00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,519 Oh, hey, I'm sorry your sister's too afraid to stay 476 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,427 with us on her last night. - I mean, hey, 477 00:28:13,428 --> 00:28:16,066 at least we got the place to ourselves. 478 00:28:16,067 --> 00:28:17,567 Ooh, that's true. 479 00:28:21,323 --> 00:28:23,842 Oh, my God, was that you? 480 00:28:23,843 --> 00:28:26,718 - I think it was your candle. - Oh my God (laughs). 481 00:28:26,719 --> 00:28:28,919 (thumping outside) 482 00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,179 Sounds like the neighbors are moving in. 483 00:28:31,180 --> 00:28:33,345 At night? 484 00:28:33,346 --> 00:28:34,840 - [Neighbor] No! - Oh, my God. 485 00:28:34,841 --> 00:28:36,858 Sounds like they need a hand. 486 00:28:43,440 --> 00:28:44,524 Hello? 487 00:28:50,621 --> 00:28:53,138 I must have just missed them. 488 00:28:54,873 --> 00:28:57,157 So tomorrow let's go say hello to them, okay? 489 00:28:57,158 --> 00:28:59,731 - I'm turning it, I'm beat. - Oh, okay. 490 00:28:59,732 --> 00:29:00,948 I'll be in in a while. 491 00:29:03,202 --> 00:29:05,119 (cartoon music on TV) 492 00:29:22,216 --> 00:29:23,474 Yes? 493 00:29:27,223 --> 00:29:28,223 Hon? 494 00:29:37,196 --> 00:29:38,196 What are you...? 495 00:30:02,995 --> 00:30:05,253 (door creaking) 496 00:30:07,962 --> 00:30:08,962 Ben? 497 00:30:15,666 --> 00:30:16,666 Ben? 498 00:30:31,267 --> 00:30:35,426 Okay, if you open one more time, 499 00:30:37,432 --> 00:30:40,265 I'm gonna be a little freaked out. 500 00:31:11,124 --> 00:31:12,892 - What the fuck was that? - I don't know. 501 00:31:12,893 --> 00:31:14,726 I honestly don't know. 502 00:31:31,202 --> 00:31:32,202 (glass breaking) 503 00:31:35,483 --> 00:31:36,483 Aw... 504 00:31:38,549 --> 00:31:39,858 Jesus! 505 00:32:05,342 --> 00:32:07,384 Not funny, Ben! 506 00:32:24,738 --> 00:32:26,128 Oh! 507 00:32:26,129 --> 00:32:27,804 Ah, gross! 508 00:32:34,418 --> 00:32:37,411 Alex, I'm gonna go see my sister off before work. 509 00:32:37,412 --> 00:32:38,971 Good luck with that submission today. 510 00:32:38,972 --> 00:32:40,263 Thank you. 511 00:32:41,497 --> 00:32:43,054 Oh, I'm gonna go upstairs 512 00:32:43,055 --> 00:32:45,345 and meet our neighbors later. - Nice. 513 00:32:45,346 --> 00:32:47,363 Bye. (suspenseful music) 514 00:33:06,965 --> 00:33:08,773 (child coughing) 515 00:33:46,485 --> 00:33:47,818 (carnival music) 516 00:33:59,108 --> 00:34:00,937 Excuse me. 517 00:34:00,938 --> 00:34:03,443 You sell pictures taken at the "Spook-a-Rama," right? 518 00:34:03,444 --> 00:34:04,609 - [Vendor] Yep. - So a friend of mine 519 00:34:04,610 --> 00:34:08,013 rode yesterday, and I'd like to surprise her. 520 00:34:08,014 --> 00:34:10,566 Is it possible to print out some pictures from yesterday? 521 00:34:10,567 --> 00:34:12,016 - Yeah. - Great. 522 00:34:12,933 --> 00:34:15,618 Ah, that's it! That's her. I'll take it. 523 00:34:15,619 --> 00:34:18,761 - Okay, $7. - Thank you. 524 00:34:37,503 --> 00:34:39,539 Don't let nerves get the best of you. 525 00:34:39,540 --> 00:34:44,540 Ask your doctor about Raehydu and say goodbye to your life 526 00:34:44,556 --> 00:34:46,949 long fears and anxieties. 527 00:34:46,950 --> 00:34:47,950 Okay... 528 00:34:49,033 --> 00:34:52,091 Is anxiety holding you back from your dreams? 529 00:34:52,092 --> 00:34:56,005 Ask your doctor about Raehydu, a prescription medication 530 00:34:56,006 --> 00:34:58,413 for moderate to severe anxiety. 531 00:34:58,414 --> 00:35:00,821 Side effects may include nausea, dry mouth, 532 00:35:00,822 --> 00:35:03,566 abnormal ejaculation, hallucinations, 533 00:35:03,567 --> 00:35:06,764 irreversible change in skin color, sleep paralysis, 534 00:35:06,765 --> 00:35:10,713 or explosive diarrhea that may be difficult to predict. 535 00:35:10,714 --> 00:35:13,472 Stop taking Raehydu if you experience uncontrolled bleeding 536 00:35:13,473 --> 00:35:15,623 from the mouth, ears, or rectum, 537 00:35:15,624 --> 00:35:16,924 loss of hair or fingernails, 538 00:35:16,925 --> 00:35:18,971 or suicidal thoughts or actions. 539 00:35:18,972 --> 00:35:21,500 Don't take Raehydu if you are allergic to Raehydu 540 00:35:21,501 --> 00:35:22,623 or its ingredients. 541 00:35:22,624 --> 00:35:24,709 Fatal incidents have occurred. 542 00:35:24,710 --> 00:35:27,023 Don't let nerves get the best of you. 543 00:35:27,024 --> 00:35:29,291 Ask your doctor about Raehydu 544 00:35:29,292 --> 00:35:32,345 and say goodbye to your lifelong fears and anxieties. 545 00:35:33,278 --> 00:35:35,780 And send. 546 00:35:35,781 --> 00:35:37,331 (scream and thud) 547 00:35:40,022 --> 00:35:42,113 (muffled voices) 548 00:36:03,269 --> 00:36:05,186 Is there anybody there? 549 00:36:22,699 --> 00:36:24,705 Okay, I'm documenting this. 550 00:36:24,706 --> 00:36:27,474 I came in the bathroom because I heard some crazy sounds 551 00:36:27,475 --> 00:36:31,046 from inside, but the water was just running 552 00:36:31,047 --> 00:36:33,538 in the sink all by itself. 553 00:36:34,997 --> 00:36:36,196 That's fucked up. 554 00:36:38,246 --> 00:36:39,387 (pipes clanking) 555 00:36:41,930 --> 00:36:42,930 Gah! 556 00:36:44,050 --> 00:36:46,233 (Alex gasping) Whoa! 557 00:37:18,171 --> 00:37:20,162 Oh my God, I think I'm gonna barf. 558 00:37:33,455 --> 00:37:34,455 God! 559 00:37:36,622 --> 00:37:39,722 Ugh! That was nasty! 560 00:37:51,518 --> 00:37:53,034 Benny, Benny, Benny! 561 00:37:53,035 --> 00:37:55,085 (phone ringing) 562 00:38:04,002 --> 00:38:05,795 - [Ben on phone] Hey, toots! - Hey. 563 00:38:05,796 --> 00:38:07,814 - What's up? - You owe me big time, bud. 564 00:38:07,815 --> 00:38:09,285 Oh, yeah, why? 565 00:38:09,286 --> 00:38:11,947 Because I just worked my ass off 566 00:38:11,948 --> 00:38:13,973 cleaning all that black mold out of the 567 00:38:17,502 --> 00:38:19,193 - Alex, you there? - Oh my God. 568 00:38:19,194 --> 00:38:21,322 What, what happened? (phone beeping) 569 00:38:21,323 --> 00:38:22,884 Alex? - Ben, it's my agent, 570 00:38:22,885 --> 00:38:25,084 hang on. - What, what happened? 571 00:38:25,085 --> 00:38:26,317 - Hello? - [Agent] Alex, 572 00:38:26,318 --> 00:38:27,703 what did you send me? - Huh? 573 00:38:27,704 --> 00:38:29,811 [Agent] Your voice over submission, it's a total garble. 574 00:38:29,812 --> 00:38:32,246 - What? - [Agent] It's a total garble. 575 00:38:32,247 --> 00:38:35,533 Oh... Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I can rerecord it. 576 00:38:35,534 --> 00:38:37,220 [Agent] No, no, no. It's too late. 577 00:38:37,221 --> 00:38:39,986 Get your act together, Alex, you embarrassed me. 578 00:38:39,987 --> 00:38:41,362 I'm so sorry. 579 00:38:44,787 --> 00:38:46,835 Ben, I don't know what's going on here, man. 580 00:38:46,836 --> 00:38:48,648 [Ben] What? What happened? 581 00:38:48,649 --> 00:38:50,189 [Alex] I don't know what's going on. 582 00:38:50,190 --> 00:38:51,838 [Ben] Alex, you're not making sense. 583 00:39:08,666 --> 00:39:10,631 [Alex recording] Is anxiety holding you back 584 00:39:10,632 --> 00:39:12,531 (recording becomes distorted) 585 00:39:24,102 --> 00:39:26,281 (recording screeching) Raehydu. 586 00:39:26,282 --> 00:39:28,956 [child's voice] Mom... Mom... 587 00:39:28,957 --> 00:39:31,374 [Alex] Raehydu... 588 00:39:38,786 --> 00:39:40,834 (backwards voice) [Alex] Raehydu... 589 00:39:40,835 --> 00:39:43,178 - [child] Mom. - [Alex] Raehydu. 590 00:39:43,179 --> 00:39:45,929 - [child] Mom. - [Alex] Raehydu. 591 00:39:49,549 --> 00:39:51,444 [Backwards Alex Voice] We die here. 592 00:39:51,445 --> 00:39:52,445 [child] Mom? 593 00:39:53,403 --> 00:39:55,021 [Alex backwards] We die here. 594 00:39:55,861 --> 00:39:57,095 [child] Mom? 595 00:39:57,096 --> 00:39:58,495 [Alex backwards] We die here. 596 00:39:58,496 --> 00:39:59,496 [child] Help me! 597 00:40:37,135 --> 00:40:39,548 Lorne, what do you want for lunch? 598 00:40:39,549 --> 00:40:42,949 Mm, I'm really in the mood for that Mongolian place. 599 00:40:42,950 --> 00:40:45,051 - They don't deliver. - Yeah. 600 00:40:45,052 --> 00:40:47,627 I'm really in the mood for that Mongolian place. 601 00:40:47,628 --> 00:40:51,711 Well, I guess it's dead. I could use a walk. 602 00:40:54,406 --> 00:40:56,323 See you in a bit. - Bye. 603 00:41:05,044 --> 00:41:06,252 Where are you? 604 00:41:07,768 --> 00:41:09,476 Now, where are you? 605 00:41:11,777 --> 00:41:13,836 Where are you? 606 00:41:18,455 --> 00:41:20,489 [Echoey Lorne] Where are you? 607 00:41:32,650 --> 00:41:34,918 - Hey, I'm home. - Oh my God! Ben, 608 00:41:34,919 --> 00:41:36,017 you have got to come and listen to this. 609 00:41:36,018 --> 00:41:38,268 Okay, wait, wait, wait, I've got to take a piss. 610 00:41:42,512 --> 00:41:44,133 What the fuck happened in here? 611 00:41:44,134 --> 00:41:45,261 It's the mold. 612 00:41:45,262 --> 00:41:47,105 - You said you cleaned it! - I did. 613 00:41:47,106 --> 00:41:48,986 Well, what did you use, Miracle Grow? 614 00:41:48,987 --> 00:41:50,242 Listen to me! 615 00:41:50,243 --> 00:41:52,525 I recorded my voice over audition earlier today, 616 00:41:52,526 --> 00:41:54,036 and then when I played it backwards. 617 00:41:54,037 --> 00:41:56,215 Okay... Whoa... No! No rational conversation 618 00:41:56,216 --> 00:41:58,771 ever followed the words, "when I played it backwards." 619 00:41:58,772 --> 00:42:00,004 Listen to me! 620 00:42:00,005 --> 00:42:01,254 (intercom buzzing) 621 00:42:01,255 --> 00:42:03,566 - Are you expecting somebody? - No. 622 00:42:03,567 --> 00:42:05,116 Hello? 623 00:42:05,117 --> 00:42:06,500 (garbled voices) 624 00:42:08,587 --> 00:42:10,587 That's weird. - Ben, we gotta move out. 625 00:42:10,588 --> 00:42:11,514 What are you talking about? 626 00:42:11,515 --> 00:42:13,223 We just moved in. We were just talking 627 00:42:13,224 --> 00:42:14,444 about having a house warning party. 628 00:42:14,445 --> 00:42:16,994 I know, this place is bad. I mean, can't you feel it? 629 00:42:16,995 --> 00:42:19,032 - Where would we even go? - I don't know. 630 00:42:19,033 --> 00:42:21,391 A hotel maybe? - We can't afford that. 631 00:42:21,392 --> 00:42:23,467 - Just for one night then. - No, look 632 00:42:23,468 --> 00:42:24,676 (intercom buzzing) 633 00:42:24,677 --> 00:42:26,325 Hello? 634 00:42:26,326 --> 00:42:27,400 (garbled voices) 635 00:42:28,418 --> 00:42:29,595 (buzzing door) New neighbors 636 00:42:29,596 --> 00:42:31,679 probably locked themselves out. 637 00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:33,643 Look, you were the one who was afraid this place 638 00:42:33,644 --> 00:42:35,742 might be haunted. - No, I was afraid you 639 00:42:35,743 --> 00:42:36,798 would freak out. 640 00:42:36,799 --> 00:42:38,997 Let's not pretend that you don't have a history 641 00:42:38,998 --> 00:42:41,065 (pounding on door) 642 00:42:44,355 --> 00:42:45,355 Hello? 643 00:42:53,355 --> 00:42:55,271 Don't open that door! 644 00:42:55,272 --> 00:42:57,422 It's the door. I'm gonna open it. 645 00:42:59,876 --> 00:43:00,876 Hello? 646 00:43:07,169 --> 00:43:08,169 Hello? 647 00:43:18,078 --> 00:43:19,152 There's nobody there. 648 00:43:19,153 --> 00:43:21,929 Oh, that was nobody, practically breaking the door down. 649 00:43:21,930 --> 00:43:23,649 It's probably somebody who's looking for the neighbors. 650 00:43:23,650 --> 00:43:25,703 What sense does that even make? 651 00:43:25,704 --> 00:43:29,655 Ben, there is something seriously fucked up going on here. 652 00:43:29,656 --> 00:43:31,619 Read the writing on the wall. 653 00:43:31,620 --> 00:43:34,053 I don't know what you're talking about. 654 00:43:35,375 --> 00:43:36,375 What? 655 00:43:38,608 --> 00:43:39,662 There's nothing there. 656 00:43:39,663 --> 00:43:40,870 Come on, let's go. - You can't see that? 657 00:43:40,871 --> 00:43:42,265 Let's go. Let's just go in here. 658 00:43:42,266 --> 00:43:44,460 - You can't see that there? - There's nothing there. 659 00:43:44,461 --> 00:43:46,378 Look at me. Look, look. 660 00:43:47,463 --> 00:43:51,574 I think it's time when we go see Dr. McMichaels again. 661 00:43:51,575 --> 00:43:52,942 Come on, let's sit down. 662 00:44:27,882 --> 00:44:29,732 (pop music) 663 00:44:33,615 --> 00:44:36,424 I don't care what Ben and my shrink say, 664 00:44:36,425 --> 00:44:39,798 there is something wrong with that apartment. 665 00:44:39,799 --> 00:44:41,204 But you did see a shrink, right? 666 00:44:41,205 --> 00:44:44,335 Oh, yeah. You'll never guess what she prescribed 667 00:44:44,336 --> 00:44:49,158 for me: Raehydu. It's the drug that I just auditioned for. 668 00:44:49,159 --> 00:44:51,524 You supposed to be drinking while taking that? 669 00:44:51,525 --> 00:44:53,490 No. 670 00:44:53,491 --> 00:44:55,281 You're just under a lot of stress. 671 00:44:55,282 --> 00:44:56,782 God, Hedy, you're worse than them. 672 00:44:56,783 --> 00:44:59,372 - Worse than they. - That can't be right. 673 00:44:59,373 --> 00:45:02,083 Trust me, I was captain of the high school grammar team. 674 00:45:02,084 --> 00:45:03,504 Which you never let me forget. 675 00:45:03,505 --> 00:45:05,532 Oh God, you must've been so cool. 676 00:45:05,533 --> 00:45:07,223 Anyways, you had to overextend yourself 677 00:45:07,224 --> 00:45:08,792 to get this apartment. 678 00:45:08,793 --> 00:45:10,625 Now that you're in a situation where you can't afford 679 00:45:10,626 --> 00:45:13,405 to move again, your brain is punishing you 680 00:45:13,406 --> 00:45:16,314 by creating scenarios where you'd have to. 681 00:45:16,315 --> 00:45:18,767 Damn, girl, you are better than my shrink. 682 00:45:18,768 --> 00:45:21,846 Psychological insight, killer bod. 683 00:45:21,847 --> 00:45:24,359 Why'd you ever leave me? 684 00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:28,577 Uh, I think it was because of all the screaming fights. 685 00:45:34,088 --> 00:45:35,595 [TV Host] After reviewing all our footage, 686 00:45:35,596 --> 00:45:37,991 our paranormal investigation team has come 687 00:45:37,992 --> 00:45:41,210 to a conclusion about the strange phenomena in your home. 688 00:45:41,211 --> 00:45:42,894 [Home Owner] Is it a ghost? 689 00:45:45,883 --> 00:45:49,006 [Host] No, it's a squatter living in your crawl space. 690 00:45:49,007 --> 00:45:51,370 [Home Owner] So then it's not supernatural? 691 00:45:51,371 --> 00:45:52,647 [Host] That's right, it's just the result 692 00:45:52,648 --> 00:45:55,346 of a nationwide affordable housing crisis combined 693 00:45:55,347 --> 00:45:57,477 with decades of underinvestment in mental health. 694 00:45:57,478 --> 00:45:59,571 (intercom beeping) - [Home Owner] Oh, thank God! 695 00:45:59,572 --> 00:46:01,064 Who is it? 696 00:46:01,065 --> 00:46:02,248 (unintelligible) 697 00:46:03,656 --> 00:46:06,670 I'm sorry, did you say "murderer"? 698 00:46:06,671 --> 00:46:08,894 [Delivery Person] Burger. You ordered a burger 699 00:46:08,895 --> 00:46:12,307 from Sidney's Five. - Oh, "burger." 700 00:46:12,308 --> 00:46:14,675 Yeah, that makes more sense. (buzzing door) 701 00:46:27,777 --> 00:46:29,885 (oven rattling) 702 00:47:06,463 --> 00:47:08,024 Hello? 703 00:47:11,827 --> 00:47:14,234 Ben! Oh my God! What... 704 00:47:14,235 --> 00:47:15,992 (Ben's head banging) Ben, Ben, Ben! 705 00:47:15,993 --> 00:47:18,075 Shit! You scared me. 706 00:47:18,076 --> 00:47:21,616 I scared you? What were you doing? 707 00:47:21,617 --> 00:47:23,271 Something's written on the back of the oven. 708 00:47:23,272 --> 00:47:25,046 I was trying to read it. 709 00:47:25,047 --> 00:47:26,770 Well, what did it say? 710 00:47:26,771 --> 00:47:28,534 It said, "Don't stick your head in here." 711 00:47:28,535 --> 00:47:30,065 This apartment is driving you 712 00:47:30,066 --> 00:47:31,881 to do self-destructive things. 713 00:47:31,882 --> 00:47:34,747 I have always done self-destructive things. 714 00:47:34,748 --> 00:47:37,153 Don't tell me you don't feel it. 715 00:47:37,154 --> 00:47:40,123 Dear God, you won't even go into the room 716 00:47:40,124 --> 00:47:42,448 with the typewriter in it. 717 00:47:42,449 --> 00:47:43,939 It's on my list. 718 00:47:43,940 --> 00:47:46,248 You just get these weird ideas about the paranormal, 719 00:47:46,249 --> 00:47:47,533 like after we saw "Hamilton," 720 00:47:47,534 --> 00:47:49,282 and then you went to the Aaron Burr house 721 00:47:49,283 --> 00:47:52,090 to try and harass his ghost. 722 00:47:52,091 --> 00:47:53,619 You're a real jerk, Aaron Burr. 723 00:47:53,620 --> 00:47:55,299 Ma'am, please leave. 724 00:47:55,300 --> 00:47:59,677 Anyway, I just found out I've gotta go to a conference. 725 00:47:59,678 --> 00:48:01,229 Oh my God, are you kidding me? 726 00:48:01,230 --> 00:48:03,448 [TV ad] ...anxiety. Side effects may include nausea, 727 00:48:03,449 --> 00:48:05,638 dry mouth, abnormal ejaculation... 728 00:48:05,639 --> 00:48:06,888 Motherfucker. 729 00:48:06,889 --> 00:48:08,198 Is this the ad you tried out for? 730 00:48:08,199 --> 00:48:09,189 Yes. 731 00:48:09,190 --> 00:48:10,269 [TV ad] ...explosive diarrhea 732 00:48:10,270 --> 00:48:12,062 that may be difficult to predict. 733 00:48:12,063 --> 00:48:15,143 Stop taking Raehydu if you experience uncontrolled bleeding 734 00:48:15,144 --> 00:48:16,628 from the mouth, nose or rectum... 735 00:48:16,629 --> 00:48:18,118 Sorry, babe. 736 00:48:18,119 --> 00:48:20,355 [TV ad] ...or suicidal thoughts or actions. 737 00:48:20,356 --> 00:48:23,045 Please don't have suicidal thoughts or actions. 738 00:48:23,046 --> 00:48:25,507 Don't worry. I'm only having homicidal thoughts. 739 00:48:25,508 --> 00:48:27,326 [TV ad] Don't take Raehydu if you are allergic 740 00:48:27,327 --> 00:48:28,704 to Raehydu or its ingredients. 741 00:48:28,705 --> 00:48:30,075 Fatal incidents have occurred. 742 00:48:30,076 --> 00:48:31,858 Hey! 743 00:48:31,859 --> 00:48:32,850 What? 744 00:48:32,851 --> 00:48:35,225 [TV ad] Ask your doctor about Raehydu 745 00:48:35,226 --> 00:48:38,229 and say goodbye to your lifelong fears and anxieties. 746 00:48:38,230 --> 00:48:42,813 Stop taking Raehydu if some other bitch gets the job. 747 00:48:51,897 --> 00:48:53,739 (glass shattering) Shit! 748 00:49:58,988 --> 00:49:59,988 Hello? 749 00:50:08,466 --> 00:50:10,809 (bowl shattering) What are you doing? 750 00:50:10,810 --> 00:50:14,523 Please don't do this, you don't want to. 751 00:50:14,524 --> 00:50:16,595 (bowl shattering) Can you hear me? 752 00:50:18,211 --> 00:50:20,133 If you're in there, please don't 753 00:50:20,134 --> 00:50:22,307 You don't belong here! 754 00:50:22,308 --> 00:50:25,193 (Lorne gasping) - It's okay. It's okay. 755 00:50:25,194 --> 00:50:27,885 It's okay. I've got you. You're okay. 756 00:50:29,794 --> 00:50:32,343 What the hell are you doing? 757 00:50:32,344 --> 00:50:33,367 I don't know. 758 00:50:33,368 --> 00:50:35,627 You're smashing all our stuff? 759 00:50:35,628 --> 00:50:37,084 I must have been sleepwalking. 760 00:50:37,085 --> 00:50:38,730 That's a side effect of the drug. 761 00:50:38,731 --> 00:50:40,020 - Jesus! - Well, you're the one 762 00:50:40,021 --> 00:50:41,759 who wanted me to see a shrink. 763 00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:43,281 Well, we got people coming over in a week. 764 00:50:43,282 --> 00:50:45,232 What are we gonna serve 'em stuff in? 765 00:50:45,233 --> 00:50:47,177 Well, you always said we have too many bowls! 766 00:50:48,994 --> 00:50:51,640 ♪ If I were crazy ♪ 767 00:50:51,641 --> 00:50:55,049 ♪ I'd write your name across my head ♪ 768 00:50:55,050 --> 00:50:58,117 ♪ In purple crayon with big Crayola ♪ 769 00:50:58,118 --> 00:51:00,154 ♪ I'd never wash it ♪ 770 00:51:00,155 --> 00:51:02,110 ♪ I wouldn't have to ♪ 771 00:51:02,111 --> 00:51:05,134 ♪ If I were crazy ♪ 772 00:51:05,135 --> 00:51:08,207 ♪ The voices wouldn't let me be ♪ 773 00:51:08,208 --> 00:51:11,533 ♪ They'd talk in Spanish, talk in German, ♪ 774 00:51:11,534 --> 00:51:15,436 ♪ I'd never get a word in edgewise ♪ 775 00:51:15,437 --> 00:51:18,545 ♪ If I were crazy ♪ 776 00:51:19,832 --> 00:51:22,707 (music playing on phone) 777 00:51:23,751 --> 00:51:25,275 (music playing through stereo) 778 00:51:25,276 --> 00:51:27,185 - You look great. - Thank you. 779 00:51:27,186 --> 00:51:29,066 - Feeling okay? - Yeah. 780 00:51:29,067 --> 00:51:31,067 Oh yes, you do. 781 00:51:34,450 --> 00:51:39,292 (ceiling rattling) - [Neighbor] Oh my God! 782 00:51:39,293 --> 00:51:41,804 - Did you invite them? - They're never home. 783 00:51:41,805 --> 00:51:43,119 I slid a note under the door though, 784 00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:44,798 so maybe they'll show up. 785 00:51:44,799 --> 00:51:46,841 Well, clearly they're home now. 786 00:51:52,745 --> 00:51:54,911 (suspenseful music) 787 00:51:59,089 --> 00:52:01,189 - Tonight's gonna be fun. - Yeah. 788 00:52:01,190 --> 00:52:03,861 We finally got the place all put together. 789 00:52:03,862 --> 00:52:07,038 We got the mold under control. 790 00:52:07,039 --> 00:52:08,651 You're feeling more settled. 791 00:52:08,652 --> 00:52:10,485 Things are looking up. 792 00:52:25,668 --> 00:52:28,565 - [Alex] Oh! - [Ben] What the fuck? 793 00:52:28,566 --> 00:52:30,921 [Inhuman Voice] Stay out! 794 00:52:37,118 --> 00:52:39,689 [Ben] I think the fuses are in the basement. 795 00:52:39,690 --> 00:52:41,465 - I'll go. - Oh, I thought you 796 00:52:41,466 --> 00:52:43,274 were never going to the basement. 797 00:52:46,671 --> 00:52:48,796 (door creaking) (suspenseful music) 798 00:53:04,456 --> 00:53:05,339 (Alex gasping) 799 00:53:05,340 --> 00:53:06,554 Oh, shit! 800 00:53:11,104 --> 00:53:12,679 Oh, it's funny. 801 00:53:42,184 --> 00:53:44,017 Oh God. 802 00:53:45,750 --> 00:53:47,416 Oh, what's this? 803 00:53:49,244 --> 00:53:50,527 Oh, cool. 804 00:54:08,054 --> 00:54:10,121 (upbeat music) 805 00:54:14,710 --> 00:54:17,135 (intercom buzzing) (music playing through stereo) 806 00:54:19,886 --> 00:54:23,259 You should see all the crazy shit that's down there. 807 00:54:23,260 --> 00:54:26,420 Plus there's a secret exit out the back of the building. 808 00:54:26,421 --> 00:54:29,263 Oh, that's cool. Uh, people are already arriving. 809 00:54:29,264 --> 00:54:34,264 Oh. Oh, Oliver, thanks for coming! 810 00:54:34,791 --> 00:54:36,182 [Ben] Lemme make you a drink? 811 00:54:36,183 --> 00:54:38,206 - Thanks. - Come on in. 812 00:54:40,298 --> 00:54:41,754 Hey, I'm Oliver. 813 00:54:41,755 --> 00:54:44,874 - Lisa, I live here. - Oh, the neighbor. 814 00:54:44,875 --> 00:54:46,325 You moved in last month, right? 815 00:54:46,326 --> 00:54:50,718 I guess. I've kind of lost track of time. 816 00:54:50,719 --> 00:54:52,515 There's something wrong with this building. 817 00:54:52,516 --> 00:54:53,824 It's better than mine. 818 00:54:53,825 --> 00:54:55,257 There are all these strange noises. 819 00:54:55,258 --> 00:54:57,179 Marco says it's the plumbing. 820 00:54:57,180 --> 00:55:00,618 At least you have plumbing. The landlord turned mine off. 821 00:55:00,619 --> 00:55:03,639 He's trying to drive me out so he can raise the rent. 822 00:55:03,640 --> 00:55:07,188 But I don't have anything saved to move. 823 00:55:07,189 --> 00:55:11,993 My whole retirement plan is hoping I die early. 824 00:55:11,994 --> 00:55:13,783 There are all these banging noises. 825 00:55:13,784 --> 00:55:15,979 Mine too, they're gutting the apartment next to mine. 826 00:55:15,980 --> 00:55:19,626 And blood runs down the walls. 827 00:55:19,627 --> 00:55:21,217 Okay... 828 00:55:21,218 --> 00:55:22,934 My apartment doesn't do that. 829 00:55:22,935 --> 00:55:27,010 Marco doesn't believe me. He never believes me. 830 00:55:28,538 --> 00:55:32,170 He deserves what I did to him. 831 00:55:32,171 --> 00:55:33,355 Olive? 832 00:55:34,886 --> 00:55:36,244 You're the first one here. 833 00:55:37,194 --> 00:55:39,581 So this isn't just a housewarming. 834 00:55:39,582 --> 00:55:41,732 It's actually a sendoff party as well 835 00:55:41,733 --> 00:55:44,699 because Ben's gotta go to some huge conference tomorrow 836 00:55:44,700 --> 00:55:46,110 and leave me... 837 00:55:46,111 --> 00:55:49,484 Are you okay? Oliver? 838 00:55:49,485 --> 00:55:50,964 Oliver?! 839 00:55:50,965 --> 00:55:54,255 Oh my God! Ben, call 911! 840 00:55:54,256 --> 00:55:56,221 Ben! He's choking, choking, choking! 841 00:55:56,222 --> 00:55:57,929 Here, here, here, here! 842 00:55:57,930 --> 00:55:59,902 Where's my phone? Where's my phone? 843 00:55:59,903 --> 00:56:02,018 Where's your phone? - I don't know, in my pocket. 844 00:56:02,019 --> 00:56:03,694 I don't know. - Oh, God! No it's not! 845 00:56:03,695 --> 00:56:07,127 Well go get somebody! Go get the neighbors, or the... 846 00:56:07,128 --> 00:56:08,253 Just get somebody! 847 00:56:08,254 --> 00:56:09,479 Come on, man, breathe! 848 00:56:12,456 --> 00:56:14,261 (ribs breaking) 849 00:56:14,262 --> 00:56:16,787 [Paramedic 1] Jesus, these stairs! 850 00:56:16,788 --> 00:56:18,902 - Up here, hurry! - [Paramedic 2] Sorry, ma'am, 851 00:56:18,903 --> 00:56:21,701 we're responding to an emergency in Apartment Two. 852 00:56:21,702 --> 00:56:23,326 Yeah, this is Apartment Two! 853 00:56:23,327 --> 00:56:24,380 That's the third floor. 854 00:56:24,381 --> 00:56:26,033 Yes, Apartment Two is on the third floor. 855 00:56:26,034 --> 00:56:27,305 That doesn't make any sense. 856 00:56:27,306 --> 00:56:28,651 Must be like in France. 857 00:56:28,652 --> 00:56:30,756 - Hurry, please! - We're coming. 858 00:56:30,757 --> 00:56:33,559 More stairs! Ugh, I need a minute. 859 00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:36,544 My friend has choked on something and he's not breathing. 860 00:56:36,545 --> 00:56:37,770 Ma'am, one second. 861 00:56:37,771 --> 00:56:39,282 Vic, you okay? 862 00:56:39,283 --> 00:56:41,041 It's just a lot of stairs. 863 00:56:42,235 --> 00:56:43,667 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 864 00:56:43,668 --> 00:56:45,431 You have got to come and help us! 865 00:56:45,432 --> 00:56:48,088 Ma'am, please, I'm dealing with an emergency here. 866 00:56:48,089 --> 00:56:50,454 Well, my friend is not breathing! 867 00:56:50,455 --> 00:56:52,070 Hang in there, buddy. We're gonna get you to the hospital. 868 00:56:52,071 --> 00:56:53,912 No, no, no, no, no, I don't have insurance. 869 00:56:53,913 --> 00:56:56,351 - We've been doing CPR. - Do you know CPR? 870 00:56:56,352 --> 00:56:57,784 I've seen it on TV. 871 00:56:57,785 --> 00:56:58,892 Amateurs! 872 00:56:58,893 --> 00:57:01,143 How's his pulse? - He doesn't have one! 873 00:57:01,144 --> 00:57:02,494 - How long? - I don't know! 874 00:57:02,495 --> 00:57:05,075 Like 15, 20 minutes? 875 00:57:05,076 --> 00:57:06,583 Yeah, he's dead. 876 00:57:06,584 --> 00:57:07,884 Drink this. 877 00:57:10,013 --> 00:57:12,389 Ma'am, please! I'll be there in a minute! 878 00:57:29,829 --> 00:57:31,834 - Lorne. - Oh, so rude! 879 00:57:31,835 --> 00:57:33,304 Where the hell have you been? 880 00:57:33,305 --> 00:57:35,050 - I went out walking. - After midnight? 881 00:57:35,051 --> 00:57:37,305 - Out in the moonlight. - What is going on? 882 00:57:37,306 --> 00:57:40,445 You've been distant, you disappear for hours. Are... 883 00:57:41,311 --> 00:57:42,751 Are you seeing someone? 884 00:57:42,752 --> 00:57:45,118 No, no, no! 885 00:57:47,503 --> 00:57:49,103 Okay, you're not going to like this, but 886 00:57:50,350 --> 00:57:53,600 I could use your help on some research. 887 00:58:04,857 --> 00:58:07,872 We did everything we could. 888 00:58:07,873 --> 00:58:09,047 At least that 889 00:58:09,048 --> 00:58:11,064 paramedic is okay. 890 00:58:14,672 --> 00:58:17,099 You can't still say 891 00:58:17,100 --> 00:58:20,325 that there is nothing crazy happening inside this apartment. 892 00:58:20,326 --> 00:58:22,674 Oliver wasn't killed by a ghost. 893 00:58:22,675 --> 00:58:25,034 He was killed by an olive. 894 00:58:26,671 --> 00:58:28,935 Where was my phone? 895 00:58:28,936 --> 00:58:30,932 I can't keep track of your phone! 896 00:58:32,274 --> 00:58:33,423 I gotta pack. 897 00:58:33,424 --> 00:58:35,707 Whoa, whoa, whoa! You are not going. 898 00:58:38,569 --> 00:58:41,215 I can't just not go to the conference. 899 00:58:41,216 --> 00:58:43,768 Have you given any thought to my responsibilities? 900 00:58:44,718 --> 00:58:48,665 I think under the circumstances they would understand. 901 00:58:48,666 --> 00:58:51,208 Do you understand how much pressure I'm under 902 00:58:51,209 --> 00:58:52,897 from everybody else at work? 903 00:58:52,898 --> 00:58:56,120 From these kids? And we need this job! 904 00:58:56,121 --> 00:58:58,029 I mean, it's not like you've been booking a lot 905 00:58:58,030 --> 00:59:00,121 of voiceovers lately. 906 00:59:01,772 --> 00:59:03,080 Get out. 907 00:59:05,199 --> 00:59:09,350 Okay, okay. To be clear, you're mad I'm leaving, 908 00:59:09,351 --> 00:59:11,354 so you want me to leave sooner? 909 00:59:11,355 --> 00:59:13,938 Just fucking go! 910 00:59:39,156 --> 00:59:40,539 Hey, how you doing? 911 00:59:49,677 --> 00:59:51,343 (footsteps upstairs) 912 01:00:01,245 --> 01:00:03,120 (phone ringing) 913 01:00:07,686 --> 01:00:08,519 Hello? 914 01:00:08,520 --> 01:00:09,809 [Hedy on phone] Alex, you okay? 915 01:00:09,810 --> 01:00:10,643 Hedy? 916 01:00:10,644 --> 01:00:12,665 We were gonna meet for drinks at 6:00. 917 01:00:12,666 --> 01:00:14,025 It's almost 7:00. 918 01:00:14,026 --> 01:00:18,211 Yeah, six o'clock at night. I know I'm a wreck, 919 01:00:18,212 --> 01:00:21,410 but I'm not a drinking in the morning wreck 920 01:00:21,411 --> 01:00:22,969 yet. - It is night. 921 01:00:24,610 --> 01:00:26,067 I slept all day? 922 01:00:26,068 --> 01:00:28,295 Wow, well, after what you went through last night, 923 01:00:28,296 --> 01:00:31,036 it totally makes sense. - No, it doesn't. 924 01:00:31,037 --> 01:00:33,589 (child laughing) 925 01:00:34,439 --> 01:00:35,837 Hedy? - Yeah? 926 01:00:37,095 --> 01:00:39,561 I hear sounds coming from the next room. 927 01:00:39,562 --> 01:00:40,769 Will you stay on the line? 928 01:00:40,770 --> 01:00:41,813 Yeah, yeah, of course. 929 01:00:48,733 --> 01:00:51,204 Hedy, there's a door in this room. 930 01:00:51,205 --> 01:00:53,156 Yeah, well, most rooms have doors. 931 01:00:53,157 --> 01:00:55,089 No, another door. 932 01:00:55,090 --> 01:00:58,525 I walked through one door, and now there's another door. 933 01:00:58,526 --> 01:01:00,884 Is this some kind of philosophical statement? 934 01:01:00,885 --> 01:01:01,943 I'm gonna call you back. 935 01:01:33,975 --> 01:01:35,491 (phone ringing) 936 01:01:36,492 --> 01:01:37,325 [Hedy on phone] Hello? 937 01:01:37,326 --> 01:01:41,904 Hedy, our apartment has another secret room. 938 01:01:41,905 --> 01:01:45,172 Alex, it's 4:00 in the morning. 939 01:01:45,173 --> 01:01:46,288 What did you say? 940 01:01:46,289 --> 01:01:49,312 It's 4:00 in the morning. 941 01:01:49,313 --> 01:01:51,753 Please, you need to sleep. 942 01:01:51,754 --> 01:01:55,153 I promise, this is gonna look better in the morning, okay? 943 01:01:55,154 --> 01:01:57,654 - Sleep. - Yes, okay. 944 01:01:58,658 --> 01:01:59,692 Yeah, okay. 945 01:02:06,836 --> 01:02:09,128 [Alex recorded] Is anxiety holding you back 946 01:02:09,129 --> 01:02:13,024 from your dreams? Ask your doctor about Raehydu, 947 01:02:13,025 --> 01:02:16,503 a prescription medication for moderate to severe anxiety. 948 01:02:16,504 --> 01:02:18,906 Side effects may include nausea, dry mouth, 949 01:02:18,907 --> 01:02:21,576 abnormal ejaculation, hallucinations, 950 01:02:21,577 --> 01:02:24,709 irreversible change in skin color, sleep paralysis, 951 01:02:24,710 --> 01:02:28,444 sleep paralysis, sleep paralysis, sleep paralysis... 952 01:03:50,090 --> 01:03:51,950 These are known side effects. 953 01:03:51,951 --> 01:03:54,739 These are just known side effects. 954 01:04:00,031 --> 01:04:02,098 (child laughing) 955 01:04:16,815 --> 01:04:18,073 Oh my God! 956 01:04:19,975 --> 01:04:23,644 Stop taking Raehydu if you experience bleeding. 957 01:04:35,669 --> 01:04:36,851 That does it! 958 01:04:36,852 --> 01:04:39,869 Oh, you think you're so bad? 959 01:04:39,870 --> 01:04:43,466 I have had way worse roommates than you! 960 01:04:43,467 --> 01:04:46,994 And I will not be bullied out of my dream apartment! 961 01:04:46,995 --> 01:04:49,391 I've had a roommate with a serious gas problem! 962 01:04:49,392 --> 01:04:51,960 I've had a roommate take a shit in the sink! 963 01:04:51,961 --> 01:04:54,155 I've had a roommate fuck a dog on the couch, 964 01:04:54,156 --> 01:04:57,093 and I have had a roommate that composted! 965 01:04:57,094 --> 01:04:58,963 So I am definitely not afraid of you! 966 01:04:58,964 --> 01:05:01,693 I will sage the fuck outta this place! 967 01:05:01,694 --> 01:05:03,883 My God, you don't even have a body! 968 01:05:03,884 --> 01:05:05,917 Look at me! I've got arms and legs 969 01:05:11,478 --> 01:05:13,645 (phone ringing) 970 01:05:13,646 --> 01:05:14,604 [Hedy on phone] Hey, what's up? 971 01:05:14,605 --> 01:05:16,525 Heddy, I need your help. 972 01:05:16,526 --> 01:05:18,822 I got you, babe. What do you need? 973 01:05:18,823 --> 01:05:21,431 Pants, I need fucking pants! 974 01:05:23,462 --> 01:05:25,676 Shit was just like being thrown at me. 975 01:05:25,677 --> 01:05:29,031 I mean like a lamp was thrown at me. 976 01:05:29,032 --> 01:05:30,423 Maybe the apartment was built 977 01:05:30,424 --> 01:05:32,209 on an Indian burial ground or something. 978 01:05:32,210 --> 01:05:35,405 Isn't all of a Manhattan built on an Indian burial ground? 979 01:05:35,406 --> 01:05:37,104 I don't know. Look, if there's an answer to be found, 980 01:05:37,105 --> 01:05:38,405 it's probably from this guy. 981 01:05:45,657 --> 01:05:50,049 Hi, is this the Miraculous Mr. Moon's Fortune Consultation? 982 01:05:50,050 --> 01:05:52,658 That's my grandfather. I do the consultations now. 983 01:05:52,659 --> 01:05:56,466 Well, here's the thing, I have ghosts in my apartment. 984 01:05:56,467 --> 01:05:59,136 Is this like a Halloween attraction? 985 01:05:59,137 --> 01:06:02,501 No, actual ghosts, like shit flying off shelves. 986 01:06:02,502 --> 01:06:05,004 - Could it be a draft? - Um, that's what I said. 987 01:06:05,005 --> 01:06:07,720 No, I have real ghosts, 988 01:06:07,721 --> 01:06:09,569 and I need real mystical guidance 989 01:06:09,570 --> 01:06:12,521 from the Miraculous Mr. Moon. 990 01:06:12,522 --> 01:06:15,779 Oh, I see. 991 01:06:15,780 --> 01:06:18,857 A book falls off your shelf, and you come down to Chinatown 992 01:06:18,858 --> 01:06:20,976 and find an old man with all the answers. 993 01:06:20,977 --> 01:06:22,721 What kind of racist '80s B movie 994 01:06:22,722 --> 01:06:23,924 do you think you're living in? 995 01:06:23,925 --> 01:06:25,378 Aren't you a fortune teller? 996 01:06:25,379 --> 01:06:29,216 Fortune consultant, we help you make a fortune. 997 01:06:29,217 --> 01:06:32,259 It's business seminars, not mystical shit. 998 01:06:32,260 --> 01:06:33,800 All right, well, what's with all this 999 01:06:33,801 --> 01:06:36,179 Miraculous Mr. Moon business then? 1000 01:06:36,180 --> 01:06:37,682 Okay, my grandfather came here 1001 01:06:37,683 --> 01:06:40,598 without a cent in his pocket or a word of English 1002 01:06:40,599 --> 01:06:43,307 and became a successful textile importer. 1003 01:06:43,308 --> 01:06:45,218 That's pretty fucking miraculous. 1004 01:06:45,219 --> 01:06:46,501 It is. 1005 01:06:46,502 --> 01:06:47,879 So unless you've got a business idea, 1006 01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:49,413 get the fuck outta my office. 1007 01:06:50,604 --> 01:06:52,353 Puppies on demand. 1008 01:06:52,354 --> 01:06:54,077 - What? - You rent 'em by the hour. 1009 01:06:54,078 --> 01:06:57,642 It's like an escort service, only for puppy cuddling. 1010 01:06:57,643 --> 01:06:59,143 - Huh. - Oh my God! 1011 01:07:00,788 --> 01:07:01,788 We'll talk. 1012 01:07:03,697 --> 01:07:04,955 (upbeat music) 1013 01:07:09,415 --> 01:07:14,294 Oh my God, I cannot go back to that apartment again. 1014 01:07:14,295 --> 01:07:15,966 You can stay with me until Ben's back. 1015 01:07:15,967 --> 01:07:17,011 Are you sure? 1016 01:07:17,012 --> 01:07:19,729 That's asking a lot? - What are exes for? 1017 01:07:19,730 --> 01:07:22,158 I can't tell you what it was like. 1018 01:07:22,159 --> 01:07:25,941 When shit started flying through the air coming at me, 1019 01:07:25,942 --> 01:07:28,180 I was so scared, I literally shit myself. 1020 01:07:28,181 --> 01:07:32,118 I hope you didn't literally, "literally shit" yourself. 1021 01:07:32,119 --> 01:07:36,015 I came close, grammar captain, my captain, very close. 1022 01:07:36,016 --> 01:07:40,618 (phone buzzing) Ben, I just cannot right now. 1023 01:07:40,619 --> 01:07:43,158 What am I gonna tell him, that I'm too scared 1024 01:07:43,159 --> 01:07:44,741 to go back to our apartment? 1025 01:07:44,742 --> 01:07:46,382 He's gonna think I'm fucking crazy. 1026 01:07:46,383 --> 01:07:49,261 So what if you call that guy on TV 1027 01:07:49,262 --> 01:07:50,432 who talks to dead people? 1028 01:07:50,433 --> 01:07:54,363 Oh, no, no, no, he had a Me Too issue, I think. 1029 01:07:54,364 --> 01:07:55,538 What about this guy? 1030 01:07:55,539 --> 01:07:58,457 Televangelist says he can drive out demons. 1031 01:07:58,458 --> 01:07:59,732 Uh, I'm pretty sure that he 1032 01:07:59,733 --> 01:08:02,367 had a sexual harassment claim against him as well. 1033 01:08:02,368 --> 01:08:04,457 Look, Hedy, I have ghosts in my apartment. 1034 01:08:04,458 --> 01:08:07,357 I'm not gonna invite a sex monster in on top of it. 1035 01:08:07,358 --> 01:08:09,943 Well, maybe just a regular priest can do an exorcism. 1036 01:08:09,944 --> 01:08:12,409 (coughs) The Catholic church? 1037 01:08:12,410 --> 01:08:15,581 Are you even listening to me? - Mm, how about this one? 1038 01:08:15,582 --> 01:08:17,237 They sound like "The Conjuring" couple, 1039 01:08:17,238 --> 01:08:18,952 only gay. - Aw. 1040 01:08:18,953 --> 01:08:20,620 Seems safe, right? 1041 01:08:27,150 --> 01:08:29,208 (determined music) 1042 01:08:41,576 --> 01:08:43,191 Oh dear. 1043 01:08:43,192 --> 01:08:44,109 You! 1044 01:08:44,110 --> 01:08:45,701 I've been expecting you. 1045 01:08:45,702 --> 01:08:47,566 You're the guy who grabbed me. 1046 01:08:47,567 --> 01:08:49,821 - I can explain that. - He can. I promise. 1047 01:08:49,822 --> 01:08:51,494 He's not creepy. - So, I've been following you 1048 01:08:51,495 --> 01:08:52,937 and I found out where you live. 1049 01:08:52,938 --> 01:08:54,519 - Uh, how is that not creepy? - You are making it sound 1050 01:08:54,520 --> 01:08:55,619 a little creepy, hon. 1051 01:08:55,620 --> 01:08:57,145 Okay, it sounds creepy, I admit it. 1052 01:08:57,146 --> 01:08:59,968 Lorne's a little creepy, but he has a good heart. I'm Ned. 1053 01:08:59,969 --> 01:09:02,594 - I'm Alex. - Tell her what you found out. 1054 01:09:06,639 --> 01:09:08,703 I consulted this book of dark secrets. 1055 01:09:08,704 --> 01:09:11,123 What is that, the Necronomicon? 1056 01:09:11,124 --> 01:09:13,317 It's a history of Manhattan real estate. 1057 01:09:13,318 --> 01:09:16,273 Now your building was erected in 1851 1058 01:09:16,274 --> 01:09:19,593 as a single family residence. (Lorne laughing) 1059 01:09:19,594 --> 01:09:22,091 You said erected. (phone ringing) 1060 01:09:22,092 --> 01:09:24,222 I'm sorry, go on. 1061 01:09:24,223 --> 01:09:27,195 Three workers died in the construction. 1062 01:09:27,196 --> 01:09:30,356 The first owners were Ephraim and Fanny Wigglesworth. 1063 01:09:30,357 --> 01:09:32,481 - Sorry, seriously? - [Lorne] Funny names, huh? 1064 01:09:32,482 --> 01:09:34,662 They are, they really are. 1065 01:09:34,663 --> 01:09:36,517 They suffered horrible deaths. 1066 01:09:36,518 --> 01:09:38,560 Their three-year-old daughter got a hold of a gun. 1067 01:09:38,561 --> 01:09:40,395 See now, if they had also had guns, 1068 01:09:40,396 --> 01:09:42,832 they would've been able to defend themselves. 1069 01:09:42,833 --> 01:09:45,446 The only thing that can stop a bad toddler with a gun... 1070 01:09:45,447 --> 01:09:49,583 Anyway, the girl shot off their knees and their genitals. 1071 01:09:49,584 --> 01:09:51,022 (gun shots, screaming) 1072 01:09:53,098 --> 01:09:56,062 They slowly bled to death, and the girl starved 1073 01:09:56,063 --> 01:09:58,230 and died in her own filth. 1074 01:10:00,441 --> 01:10:04,735 (snorts) Fanny (laughs). (Alex laughing) 1075 01:10:04,736 --> 01:10:06,616 They were all found in the third floor parlor. 1076 01:10:06,617 --> 01:10:09,316 - Which is now our apartment. - Right. After that, 1077 01:10:09,317 --> 01:10:10,819 it was home to a civil war surgeon 1078 01:10:10,820 --> 01:10:13,106 who came home and dismembered his family, 1079 01:10:13,107 --> 01:10:15,949 some circus folk who died in a knife-throwing accident, 1080 01:10:15,950 --> 01:10:18,629 a mad artist who mixed her own blood with the paint 1081 01:10:18,630 --> 01:10:20,241 until she didn't have any left. 1082 01:10:20,242 --> 01:10:22,173 - Gross. - There have been 1083 01:10:22,174 --> 01:10:23,806 193 homicides, 1084 01:10:23,807 --> 01:10:25,447 117 suicides, 1085 01:10:25,448 --> 01:10:27,079 37 heart attacks, 1086 01:10:27,080 --> 01:10:29,529 three autoerotic asphyxiations, 1087 01:10:29,530 --> 01:10:30,879 one death by 1088 01:10:30,880 --> 01:10:31,993 peanut allergy, 1089 01:10:31,994 --> 01:10:34,534 42 fatal falls down the stairs, 1090 01:10:34,535 --> 01:10:36,176 eight deaths by fire, 1091 01:10:36,177 --> 01:10:38,003 one tenant eaten by his own dog. 1092 01:10:38,004 --> 01:10:40,254 I wish they had told me they allowed dogs. 1093 01:10:40,255 --> 01:10:41,964 We've been really wanting to get one. 1094 01:10:41,965 --> 01:10:43,984 - Aw. - The point is, 1095 01:10:43,985 --> 01:10:47,754 every time someone new has signed a lease on your unit, 1096 01:10:47,755 --> 01:10:50,751 three people have died, exactly three. 1097 01:10:50,752 --> 01:10:53,170 The number three came up on my television set. 1098 01:10:53,171 --> 01:10:55,432 And then right after my friend died, it said two. 1099 01:10:55,433 --> 01:10:58,020 Right. The apartment's going to kill two more people. 1100 01:10:58,021 --> 01:11:00,523 Now, the building's had a number of owners. 1101 01:11:00,524 --> 01:11:03,389 In 1989, it was purchased by a shell company 1102 01:11:03,390 --> 01:11:05,765 owned by a holding company owned by an LLC 1103 01:11:05,766 --> 01:11:06,787 with a PO box in Romania. 1104 01:11:06,788 --> 01:11:09,090 So we have no idea who the real owner is, 1105 01:11:09,091 --> 01:11:13,459 but the lease holder on your unit is Reena Baker. 1106 01:11:13,460 --> 01:11:16,351 Now, since you're not actually on the lease... 1107 01:11:16,352 --> 01:11:18,270 No, technically we're subletting. 1108 01:11:18,271 --> 01:11:20,681 Yes, so I think Reena Baker is using you 1109 01:11:20,682 --> 01:11:21,976 to get the three deaths outta the way 1110 01:11:21,977 --> 01:11:23,219 so she can move back in. 1111 01:11:23,220 --> 01:11:27,392 Ah! Okay, well then, how come the ghosts 1112 01:11:27,393 --> 01:11:29,336 are coming after me sometimes 1113 01:11:29,337 --> 01:11:31,214 when I'm not even in the apartment? 1114 01:11:31,215 --> 01:11:32,662 And why aren't they going after her? 1115 01:11:32,663 --> 01:11:33,704 Well, how the hell should I know? 1116 01:11:33,705 --> 01:11:35,847 You think there's a rule book on all this? 1117 01:11:35,848 --> 01:11:37,547 - No, I just... - Excuse me, I know 1118 01:11:37,548 --> 01:11:38,381 how disappointing it must be 1119 01:11:38,382 --> 01:11:40,624 that I've only been able to unravel 170 years 1120 01:11:40,625 --> 01:11:42,787 of well hidden history, cross-reference hundreds 1121 01:11:42,788 --> 01:11:44,772 of coroners' reports, and derive a pattern, 1122 01:11:44,773 --> 01:11:47,594 the understanding of which may save your very life. 1123 01:11:47,595 --> 01:11:48,944 - Thank you. - I'm sorry that I'm not 1124 01:11:48,945 --> 01:11:51,399 also able to fully explain the realm 1125 01:11:51,400 --> 01:11:54,800 beyond this mortal coil. - I am very grateful. 1126 01:11:56,020 --> 01:11:57,320 What do I do? 1127 01:11:58,541 --> 01:12:00,550 I don't know. 1128 01:12:00,551 --> 01:12:02,228 You could probably Airbnb it, 1129 01:12:02,229 --> 01:12:03,365 let someone else take the hit. 1130 01:12:03,366 --> 01:12:05,763 I'm not gonna invite people to be killed. 1131 01:12:05,764 --> 01:12:07,636 It's gonna happen one way or the other. 1132 01:12:07,637 --> 01:12:10,079 Even if you move out, it's just gonna get somebody else. 1133 01:12:10,080 --> 01:12:12,698 Isn't there a way to drive the evil out of the apartment? 1134 01:12:12,699 --> 01:12:14,140 - Yes. - No. 1135 01:12:14,141 --> 01:12:16,172 Someone with a stronger psychic force 1136 01:12:16,173 --> 01:12:19,475 could drive the evil out. - Stronger than what? 1137 01:12:19,476 --> 01:12:24,361 This apartment feeds on souls. It's already eaten 500. 1138 01:12:24,362 --> 01:12:26,240 It's stronger than you can imagine. 1139 01:12:26,241 --> 01:12:28,264 It's going to take two more souls soon, 1140 01:12:28,265 --> 01:12:29,920 and it's not gonna be ours. I'm sorry. 1141 01:12:29,921 --> 01:12:31,238 There's gotta be somebody. 1142 01:12:36,197 --> 01:12:38,997 This guy gave me his card once. 1143 01:12:38,998 --> 01:12:41,468 He claims he's a psychic. He's probably full of shit. 1144 01:12:41,469 --> 01:12:43,779 Most of them are. 1145 01:12:43,780 --> 01:12:45,269 I don't know what else to tell you. 1146 01:12:45,270 --> 01:12:48,295 What about this Baker woman? Where is she? 1147 01:12:48,296 --> 01:12:50,318 Oh, you don't wanna go looking for her. 1148 01:12:50,319 --> 01:12:52,526 Trust me. 1149 01:12:52,527 --> 01:12:54,185 She lives on Staten Island. 1150 01:12:55,833 --> 01:12:57,416 (ferry horn) 1151 01:13:01,474 --> 01:13:05,626 Oh, I am going to lay into her so hard. 1152 01:13:05,627 --> 01:13:07,544 Yeah, but you said she was an old lady. 1153 01:13:07,545 --> 01:13:10,031 I don't care. 1154 01:13:10,032 --> 01:13:13,901 She used us as ghost bait. 1155 01:13:13,902 --> 01:13:15,181 You better hold me back, 1156 01:13:15,182 --> 01:13:17,199 or I'm gonna turn her into a ghost. 1157 01:13:19,142 --> 01:13:20,142 God! 1158 01:13:22,228 --> 01:13:23,844 (ominous music) 1159 01:13:35,175 --> 01:13:37,382 (phone ringing) 1160 01:13:37,383 --> 01:13:40,011 Oh my God, could Ben have worse timing? 1161 01:13:40,977 --> 01:13:42,816 Hey Alex, are you sure this is the right place? 1162 01:13:42,817 --> 01:13:44,444 It looks like a storage facility. 1163 01:13:44,445 --> 01:13:46,836 I know, right? Well, they've got a unit number. 1164 01:14:02,426 --> 01:14:03,259 Oh, hello. 1165 01:14:03,260 --> 01:14:05,875 - Ms. Baker? - Please come in. 1166 01:14:07,127 --> 01:14:08,548 All right, you old bat, 1167 01:14:08,549 --> 01:14:11,232 you have some serious explaining to do. 1168 01:14:11,233 --> 01:14:13,315 Ms. Baker, do you live in here? 1169 01:14:13,316 --> 01:14:14,753 It's all I can afford. 1170 01:14:14,754 --> 01:14:16,206 Uh-uh, don't gimme some pity party 1171 01:14:16,207 --> 01:14:18,583 while you're literally trying to kill my husband and I. 1172 01:14:18,584 --> 01:14:20,522 - My husband and me. - Not now, Hedy. 1173 01:14:20,523 --> 01:14:22,789 I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to do. 1174 01:14:22,790 --> 01:14:24,264 And we pay you two grand a month. 1175 01:14:24,265 --> 01:14:25,559 I mean, that's not a lot. 1176 01:14:25,560 --> 01:14:27,107 But come on, you can do better 1177 01:14:27,108 --> 01:14:29,782 than a storage unit on Staten Island. 1178 01:14:29,783 --> 01:14:33,314 That's barely enough to cover my medications. 1179 01:14:33,315 --> 01:14:35,123 You don't know me. 1180 01:14:36,340 --> 01:14:41,339 When my husband died, I lost the house. 1181 01:14:41,340 --> 01:14:43,240 Our son OD'd. 1182 01:14:44,436 --> 01:14:47,356 I didn't have anyone to help me. 1183 01:14:47,357 --> 01:14:50,152 I thought I was going to be homeless. 1184 01:14:50,153 --> 01:14:53,817 And then I found what looked like the perfect apartment 1185 01:14:53,818 --> 01:14:56,117 at a price I could actually afford. 1186 01:14:56,118 --> 01:14:57,868 I didn't know its history. 1187 01:14:57,869 --> 01:15:02,053 After I moved in, things started happening. 1188 01:15:02,054 --> 01:15:05,620 When I found out the truth about the place, 1189 01:15:07,119 --> 01:15:08,808 I was scared. 1190 01:15:10,150 --> 01:15:11,974 I didn't know what to do. 1191 01:15:11,975 --> 01:15:14,711 It was trying to kill me. 1192 01:15:14,712 --> 01:15:18,268 I know. I am so sorry for your losses. 1193 01:15:18,269 --> 01:15:21,426 I guess you were just doing what you thought you had to do. 1194 01:15:21,427 --> 01:15:23,665 Look, 1195 01:15:23,666 --> 01:15:27,781 maybe there's a way that we could drive the ghost out, 1196 01:15:27,782 --> 01:15:29,410 and then you could move back in. 1197 01:15:30,452 --> 01:15:32,316 Do you think that's possible? 1198 01:15:32,317 --> 01:15:33,403 Honey, two days ago, 1199 01:15:33,404 --> 01:15:36,590 I didn't think any of this was possible, so who knows? 1200 01:15:36,591 --> 01:15:38,875 But listen, what you did was still wrong. 1201 01:15:38,876 --> 01:15:42,621 I know. I just didn't know what to do. 1202 01:15:42,622 --> 01:15:44,900 I thought that that colored broker, 1203 01:15:44,901 --> 01:15:46,355 she might rent it to some coloreds 1204 01:15:46,356 --> 01:15:48,448 and then it wouldn't matter so much. 1205 01:15:48,449 --> 01:15:50,016 - I'm sorry, what? - Or maybe some queers. 1206 01:15:50,017 --> 01:15:52,002 I mean, who's gonna miss them? 1207 01:15:52,003 --> 01:15:54,398 Or maybe the Japs. Those slanty-eyed bastards 1208 01:15:54,399 --> 01:15:55,828 are taking over the neighborhood. 1209 01:15:55,829 --> 01:15:57,344 It's not good. - Oh my God! 1210 01:15:57,345 --> 01:15:59,071 - What? - Okay, we're going. 1211 01:15:59,072 --> 01:16:00,714 Are you fucking kidding me? 1212 01:16:00,715 --> 01:16:03,561 - Young lady, language. - Oh my God! 1213 01:16:03,562 --> 01:16:06,154 We are gonna drive those ghosts out, 1214 01:16:06,155 --> 01:16:08,470 but you are never getting that apartment back, 1215 01:16:08,471 --> 01:16:10,892 you racist, homophobic bitch! - How dare you? 1216 01:16:10,893 --> 01:16:13,031 Don't engage. It was really nice to meet you. 1217 01:16:13,032 --> 01:16:15,175 Make America great again! 1218 01:16:15,176 --> 01:16:18,518 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, 1219 01:16:18,519 --> 01:16:20,710 no, no, no, no, no! 1220 01:16:26,096 --> 01:16:27,691 Well, that could have gone worse. 1221 01:16:27,692 --> 01:16:29,594 I really don't see how. 1222 01:16:29,595 --> 01:16:31,678 Mm, she called you young lady. 1223 01:16:34,011 --> 01:16:35,665 Oh God, Hedy, 1224 01:16:35,666 --> 01:16:37,853 look, I still don't have any answers. 1225 01:16:37,854 --> 01:16:40,929 I have no money. I have no career, effectively, 1226 01:16:40,930 --> 01:16:45,463 and I am about to be homeless. I have nothing. 1227 01:16:45,464 --> 01:16:47,271 That is not true. 1228 01:16:47,272 --> 01:16:50,667 You have a beer. 1229 01:16:50,668 --> 01:16:53,141 - And that is a good thing. - And you have a friend. 1230 01:16:53,142 --> 01:16:56,588 - Almost as good. - What about that guy 1231 01:16:56,589 --> 01:16:59,237 that the couple from Coney Island referred you to? 1232 01:16:59,238 --> 01:17:01,519 Well, I wouldn't exactly call it a referral. 1233 01:17:01,520 --> 01:17:02,607 They gave me some guy's card 1234 01:17:02,608 --> 01:17:03,933 and said he's probably full of shit. 1235 01:17:03,934 --> 01:17:06,706 Hmm, beggars and choosers. 1236 01:17:06,707 --> 01:17:10,149 Hedy, I can't thank you enough. 1237 01:17:10,150 --> 01:17:11,822 I think you literally saved my life. 1238 01:17:11,823 --> 01:17:15,756 And I mean "literally" literally. Just that you believed me. 1239 01:17:15,757 --> 01:17:19,896 Of course I believe you, and I believe in you. 1240 01:17:19,897 --> 01:17:21,336 You will never have nothing 1241 01:17:21,337 --> 01:17:24,528 because I will always be there if you need me. 1242 01:17:30,549 --> 01:17:33,003 I think I know something that will cheer you up. 1243 01:17:33,004 --> 01:17:37,131 There is a show tune for every situation. 1244 01:17:37,132 --> 01:17:39,959 - Not haunted apartments. - Yes. 1245 01:17:39,960 --> 01:17:41,757 Hey, do you have the karaoke tracks 1246 01:17:41,758 --> 01:17:44,856 for the Edgar Allan Poe musical? 1247 01:17:44,857 --> 01:17:46,372 Yes! 1248 01:17:46,373 --> 01:17:47,781 (music) 1249 01:17:51,319 --> 01:17:54,454 ♪ When I'm wakened in the night ♪ 1250 01:17:54,455 --> 01:17:59,025 ♪ By creaking footsteps in the hall ♪ 1251 01:17:59,026 --> 01:18:01,442 ♪ Or the crying of a cat ♪ 1252 01:18:01,443 --> 01:18:06,075 ♪ That I've bricked up inside the wall ♪ 1253 01:18:06,076 --> 01:18:10,123 ♪ I think of you and suddenly ♪ 1254 01:18:10,124 --> 01:18:15,124 ♪ I'm not scared of them at all ♪ 1255 01:18:16,078 --> 01:18:19,275 ♪ For the passion that you stir ♪ 1256 01:18:19,276 --> 01:18:24,276 ♪ Could make the House of Usher fall ♪ 1257 01:18:27,341 --> 01:18:29,753 ♪ Thoughts of you haunt me ♪ 1258 01:18:29,754 --> 01:18:32,638 ♪ Like evil spirits, they taunt me ♪ 1259 01:18:32,639 --> 01:18:34,478 ♪ And if you don't want me ♪ 1260 01:18:34,479 --> 01:18:37,283 ♪ I'll get drunk and go die in the street ♪ 1261 01:18:37,284 --> 01:18:39,339 ♪ I can't be near you ♪ 1262 01:18:39,340 --> 01:18:41,989 ♪ My conscience tells me to fear you ♪ 1263 01:18:41,990 --> 01:18:44,288 ♪ With fettered words, my dear, you ♪ 1264 01:18:44,289 --> 01:18:47,780 ♪ Enchain me in this prison that's so sweet ♪ 1265 01:18:47,781 --> 01:18:50,568 Even on a midnight dreary I'll never get weary, 1266 01:18:50,569 --> 01:18:52,562 if it's yes to my query, my dearie, 1267 01:18:52,563 --> 01:18:54,088 let's elope on the double. 1268 01:18:54,089 --> 01:18:56,120 We'll make a castle out of a hovel. 1269 01:18:56,121 --> 01:18:58,592 I give you my heart till death do us part, 1270 01:18:58,593 --> 01:19:01,259 maybe longer if I can find a shovel. 1271 01:19:01,260 --> 01:19:04,823 ♪ Can a passion once entombed ♪ 1272 01:19:04,824 --> 01:19:09,560 ♪ Return to life when re-exhumed ♪ 1273 01:19:09,561 --> 01:19:12,823 ♪ Tell me that my hopes aren't doomed ♪ 1274 01:19:12,824 --> 01:19:16,709 ♪ And the love that I crave won't get left in the grave ♪ 1275 01:19:16,710 --> 01:19:18,482 ♪ Ravens are singing ♪ 1276 01:19:18,483 --> 01:19:21,395 ♪ My heart's a pendulum swinging ♪ 1277 01:19:21,396 --> 01:19:23,116 ♪ Can't help it, I'm flinging ♪ 1278 01:19:23,117 --> 01:19:26,532 ♪ Myself into this dangerous new start ♪ 1279 01:19:26,533 --> 01:19:28,523 ♪ We can't be apart ♪ 1280 01:19:28,524 --> 01:19:31,189 ♪ So please don't break ♪ 1281 01:19:31,190 --> 01:19:36,148 ♪ My tell-tale heart ♪ 1282 01:19:37,666 --> 01:19:40,049 (audience applauding) 1283 01:19:42,808 --> 01:19:44,666 - Oh, Hedy. - Oh wow. 1284 01:19:44,667 --> 01:19:46,630 I don't know how you always manage 1285 01:19:46,631 --> 01:19:48,379 to make me feel better. 1286 01:19:48,380 --> 01:19:51,196 I don't know how I managed to let you go. 1287 01:20:09,941 --> 01:20:11,315 - Oh God. - Sorry. 1288 01:20:11,316 --> 01:20:12,651 - I gotta go. - Go where? 1289 01:20:12,652 --> 01:20:14,236 I can't stay with you anymore. 1290 01:20:17,765 --> 01:20:19,281 (ominous music) 1291 01:20:36,505 --> 01:20:37,505 Hello? 1292 01:20:43,504 --> 01:20:45,304 (phone ringing) 1293 01:20:48,720 --> 01:20:49,553 [Ben on phone] Alex? 1294 01:20:49,554 --> 01:20:51,735 Ben, hi, how are you? 1295 01:20:51,736 --> 01:20:52,992 I've been worried sick. 1296 01:20:52,993 --> 01:20:55,041 You haven't answered my calls. Is everything okay? 1297 01:20:55,042 --> 01:20:56,807 Yeah, everything's fine. 1298 01:20:56,808 --> 01:21:00,782 I'm just here in our apartment. Everything's normal. 1299 01:21:00,783 --> 01:21:03,216 Everything's clean and... 1300 01:21:05,817 --> 01:21:08,121 Everything's clean and tidy. 1301 01:21:10,671 --> 01:21:11,694 Oh yeah, great, 1302 01:21:11,695 --> 01:21:14,892 'cause I guess I'm not around to mess stuff up, huh? 1303 01:21:14,893 --> 01:21:17,567 (typewriter clacks) 1304 01:21:17,568 --> 01:21:18,420 I gotta go. 1305 01:21:18,421 --> 01:21:19,924 Hold on, hold on. I gotta tell you something. 1306 01:21:19,925 --> 01:21:21,737 - No, I'll call you back. - I'm on my way home. 1307 01:21:21,738 --> 01:21:22,835 I left the conference early 1308 01:21:22,836 --> 01:21:26,038 'cause I was worried about you. Alex? 1309 01:21:26,913 --> 01:21:29,396 (typewriter clacks) 1310 01:22:10,299 --> 01:22:11,748 You shouldn't have come back! 1311 01:22:45,907 --> 01:22:48,001 (phone ringing) 1312 01:22:49,017 --> 01:22:50,411 [Voice on phone] Good evening. 1313 01:22:50,412 --> 01:22:55,136 Hi, uh, is this "The Great Manfredo?" 1314 01:22:55,137 --> 01:22:56,959 Why, yes. 1315 01:22:56,960 --> 01:22:59,392 Do you do emergency house calls? 1316 01:22:59,393 --> 01:23:00,568 (carnival music, fireworks) 1317 01:23:06,390 --> 01:23:08,718 - Oh no! - What? 1318 01:23:08,719 --> 01:23:10,306 That apartment, 1319 01:23:10,307 --> 01:23:12,661 it's going to kill the last two people. 1320 01:23:12,662 --> 01:23:15,462 We've got to go! - What, and be the two people? 1321 01:23:15,463 --> 01:23:16,778 You don't understand. 1322 01:23:16,779 --> 01:23:19,677 If you knew, deep down in your soul knew 1323 01:23:19,678 --> 01:23:20,898 somebody was going to be hurt, 1324 01:23:20,899 --> 01:23:22,790 you'd do everything you could to stop it. 1325 01:23:22,791 --> 01:23:24,231 That's why I'm trying to stop you. 1326 01:23:26,507 --> 01:23:28,574 Fine, let's go. 1327 01:23:32,344 --> 01:23:34,170 How can there be no cars available? 1328 01:23:35,037 --> 01:23:36,370 Subway. - Subway. 1329 01:23:53,897 --> 01:23:55,282 Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. 1330 01:23:55,283 --> 01:23:56,962 - That doesn't help. - Shut up. 1331 01:23:56,963 --> 01:23:58,973 - Don't tell me to shut up. - Don't talk to me. 1332 01:23:58,974 --> 01:24:03,757 I have to warn you, this is some pretty fucked up shit. 1333 01:24:05,610 --> 01:24:08,102 Since I was small child, 1334 01:24:09,531 --> 01:24:11,568 I have been in constant communication 1335 01:24:11,569 --> 01:24:14,093 with the spirits of the other side. 1336 01:24:14,094 --> 01:24:15,866 The phantom, 1337 01:24:15,867 --> 01:24:18,633 the wampyr, 1338 01:24:18,634 --> 01:24:21,757 the were vulva, 1339 01:24:21,758 --> 01:24:23,241 They frighten me not. 1340 01:24:24,732 --> 01:24:26,224 Okay, well, this is the place. 1341 01:24:34,943 --> 01:24:38,625 This is quite charming. 1342 01:24:38,626 --> 01:24:41,800 Oh, you say that now. 1343 01:24:41,801 --> 01:24:44,404 You have all this space to yourself? 1344 01:24:44,405 --> 01:24:47,142 Oh no, I share this with my husband. 1345 01:24:47,143 --> 01:24:49,247 And where is he now? 1346 01:24:49,248 --> 01:24:50,804 Oh, business trip. 1347 01:24:50,805 --> 01:24:54,251 Oh, how inconvenient. 1348 01:24:54,252 --> 01:24:56,466 All right, how do we start? What do we do? 1349 01:24:56,467 --> 01:24:58,817 First, we must brew some tea. 1350 01:24:58,818 --> 01:24:59,818 Okay. 1351 01:25:10,288 --> 01:25:13,990 Eat-in kitchen... How much you pay? 1352 01:25:13,991 --> 01:25:15,313 Can we just stick to...? 1353 01:25:15,314 --> 01:25:18,790 Okay, well, I've got Sleepy Time and chamomile. 1354 01:25:18,791 --> 01:25:22,568 There's some mint, and... - I have brought my own. 1355 01:25:22,569 --> 01:25:27,552 It must be loose leaves for me to read. 1356 01:25:28,489 --> 01:25:33,413 Oh, okay, but we're not just gonna 1357 01:25:33,414 --> 01:25:36,296 have like a fortune telling thing, right? 1358 01:25:36,297 --> 01:25:38,963 We're gonna have a full-on 1359 01:25:40,322 --> 01:25:42,773 exorcism, right? 1360 01:25:42,774 --> 01:25:44,892 I was about 12 years old 1361 01:25:44,893 --> 01:25:48,368 when I performed my first exorcism. 1362 01:25:48,369 --> 01:25:51,092 You will have peace in this house tonight. 1363 01:25:51,093 --> 01:25:53,335 I swear upon my life. 1364 01:25:54,540 --> 01:25:55,540 Okay. 1365 01:25:56,964 --> 01:25:58,347 Make yourself at home. 1366 01:26:02,239 --> 01:26:04,098 [Announcer] Stand clear of the closing doors. 1367 01:26:05,190 --> 01:26:08,042 - [Lorne] Finally. - What stop is it? 1368 01:26:08,043 --> 01:26:11,448 - Um, 2nd Avenue. - 24 stops away. 1369 01:26:18,348 --> 01:26:20,648 I must read your palm. 1370 01:26:30,917 --> 01:26:32,716 Is this really necessary? 1371 01:26:32,717 --> 01:26:36,760 Yes, yes indeed, it is. Have no fear, my dear. 1372 01:26:36,761 --> 01:26:39,418 Uh, this is making me really uncomfortable. 1373 01:26:40,443 --> 01:26:42,035 Oh, no! 1374 01:26:42,036 --> 01:26:43,036 Oh, no! 1375 01:26:44,126 --> 01:26:48,152 Oh, no, no, no, no, oh, no, no, no, no, no! Oh no! 1376 01:26:49,200 --> 01:26:51,642 You look faint, my dear. 1377 01:26:52,669 --> 01:26:55,730 Perhaps the spirits have overcome you. 1378 01:26:55,731 --> 01:26:57,840 Oh no! Oh, no, no, no! 1379 01:27:04,949 --> 01:27:05,941 Stop it! 1380 01:27:05,942 --> 01:27:08,996 But you called me in the middle of the night, 1381 01:27:08,997 --> 01:27:13,784 when your husband was away, and I have come to 1382 01:27:13,785 --> 01:27:15,566 (door bursting) Holy fuck, what was that? 1383 01:27:17,849 --> 01:27:18,998 Oh my God! 1384 01:27:20,007 --> 01:27:21,491 Ow! 1385 01:27:21,492 --> 01:27:22,688 Augh! 1386 01:27:22,689 --> 01:27:24,929 How did you do that? 1387 01:27:24,930 --> 01:27:25,889 Ah, oh! 1388 01:27:25,890 --> 01:27:30,089 I'm shitting myself. I'm actually shitting myself. 1389 01:27:31,108 --> 01:27:32,499 Oh my God! 1390 01:27:34,324 --> 01:27:36,613 I'm still shitting! 1391 01:27:36,614 --> 01:27:38,114 Still think it's charming? 1392 01:27:46,074 --> 01:27:47,074 (neck snapping) 1393 01:27:55,782 --> 01:27:57,507 (dramatic music) 1394 01:28:19,895 --> 01:28:21,336 For Christ's sake, 1395 01:28:21,337 --> 01:28:23,056 I know you're just walking slowly behind me 1396 01:28:23,057 --> 01:28:25,640 to scare the bejesus out of me. 1397 01:28:26,608 --> 01:28:29,819 Just fucking catch me already and get it over with. 1398 01:28:31,328 --> 01:28:32,328 (dildo squeaking) 1399 01:28:45,422 --> 01:28:50,263 Really? The basement is the only option? 1400 01:28:52,014 --> 01:28:53,014 Motherfucker! 1401 01:29:17,552 --> 01:29:18,767 [Announcer] Ladies and gentlemen, 1402 01:29:18,768 --> 01:29:21,005 we are being held momentarily by the train's dispatcher. 1403 01:29:21,006 --> 01:29:22,414 Thank you for your patience. 1404 01:29:27,207 --> 01:29:29,231 (old record playing) 1405 01:29:31,824 --> 01:29:36,249 ♪ Hello, Georgie, hello, George ♪ 1406 01:29:36,250 --> 01:29:37,250 (Alex screaming) 1407 01:29:40,029 --> 01:29:42,371 ♪ Are you sure you're all alone? ♪ 1408 01:29:47,383 --> 01:29:51,473 Oh, you've come to see my masterpiece! 1409 01:30:02,198 --> 01:30:05,206 ♪ Are you sure you're all alone? ♪ 1410 01:31:14,362 --> 01:31:15,362 Oh, oh! 1411 01:31:17,245 --> 01:31:19,995 (ghoul laughing) 1412 01:31:37,118 --> 01:31:38,218 (Alex screaming) 1413 01:31:49,255 --> 01:31:50,421 (whistle howling) 1414 01:32:12,020 --> 01:32:13,180 Oh my God. 1415 01:32:13,181 --> 01:32:14,599 You look like you could use a drink. 1416 01:32:14,600 --> 01:32:19,176 Yes, because I survived. I am the victor. 1417 01:32:19,177 --> 01:32:23,225 I won, and I am never going into that apartment again. 1418 01:32:23,226 --> 01:32:25,134 I don't care what Ben says. 1419 01:32:25,135 --> 01:32:27,038 I've had some apartments like that myself. 1420 01:32:27,039 --> 01:32:28,778 Oh God! Hey, is there a place back there 1421 01:32:28,779 --> 01:32:30,358 where I could plug this in? - Sure. 1422 01:32:30,359 --> 01:32:31,846 Thank you so much. 1423 01:32:31,847 --> 01:32:33,700 Oh, well, at least I have a few days 1424 01:32:33,701 --> 01:32:37,534 before I have to try to explain things to Ben. 1425 01:32:56,905 --> 01:33:00,269 (messages chiming) 1426 01:33:00,270 --> 01:33:02,193 I guess you missed some messages. 1427 01:33:02,194 --> 01:33:04,457 Oh, God. What does it say? 1428 01:33:04,458 --> 01:33:08,762 Uh, Ben: "I am coming home," "I am at Grand Central." 1429 01:33:08,763 --> 01:33:10,591 - No, no, no, no. - "Just got a cab." 1430 01:33:10,592 --> 01:33:12,648 "I'm almost home." - Oh, no, no! 1431 01:33:12,649 --> 01:33:13,489 "Pulling up now." 1432 01:33:13,490 --> 01:33:14,715 Oh, no, no, no! 1433 01:33:19,156 --> 01:33:20,072 Come on, pick up! 1434 01:33:20,073 --> 01:33:21,197 (phone buzzing) 1435 01:33:29,578 --> 01:33:31,127 [Ben's voicemail] Hey, you've reached Ben. 1436 01:33:31,128 --> 01:33:32,581 Don't leave a message 1437 01:33:32,582 --> 01:33:34,445 'cause it's really not a thing anymore. 1438 01:33:34,446 --> 01:33:35,854 (phone beeping) - Ben, whatever you do, 1439 01:33:35,855 --> 01:33:39,392 do not go into that apartment! Do not go upstairs! 1440 01:33:39,393 --> 01:33:41,558 The apartment is going to kill one more person tonight, 1441 01:33:41,559 --> 01:33:43,926 and I am not fucking around! Do not go upstairs! 1442 01:33:43,927 --> 01:33:46,348 That place sounds like a real shit hole. 1443 01:33:46,349 --> 01:33:47,816 Oh God, I gotta go! 1444 01:33:55,260 --> 01:33:57,626 (unholy howling) 1445 01:34:14,008 --> 01:34:15,198 Alex! 1446 01:34:25,130 --> 01:34:28,939 We just need one more. 1447 01:34:41,004 --> 01:34:42,866 - Don't go in. - I have to. 1448 01:34:42,867 --> 01:34:45,151 - Don't go in. - I have to. 1449 01:34:45,152 --> 01:34:47,669 - I can't lose you. - You're not going to. 1450 01:34:54,914 --> 01:34:55,747 Ben! 1451 01:34:55,748 --> 01:34:57,755 Oh, I see you've met our roommates. 1452 01:35:01,149 --> 01:35:02,149 Oh, shit. 1453 01:35:03,441 --> 01:35:04,602 Stop! 1454 01:35:04,603 --> 01:35:08,132 They can't hurt us. I won't let them. 1455 01:35:08,133 --> 01:35:13,116 No, but you can hurt each other. 1456 01:35:14,058 --> 01:35:15,632 Ben! Ben! 1457 01:35:15,633 --> 01:35:17,640 Ben, Ben, Ben, what are you doing? 1458 01:35:17,641 --> 01:35:18,699 Ben, what are you doing? 1459 01:35:21,532 --> 01:35:22,932 I don't know. 1460 01:35:37,430 --> 01:35:38,430 What did I do? 1461 01:35:41,248 --> 01:35:42,248 What did I do? 1462 01:35:43,868 --> 01:35:45,068 (Lorne wheezing) 1463 01:35:46,650 --> 01:35:49,407 It's not his fault. 1464 01:35:49,408 --> 01:35:52,615 He can't be blamed. 1465 01:35:52,616 --> 01:35:57,591 I can't regret 1466 01:35:58,682 --> 01:36:00,615 doing good. 1467 01:36:04,714 --> 01:36:08,038 ♪ We were young back then, ♪ 1468 01:36:08,039 --> 01:36:13,039 ♪ But not too young to know ♪ 1469 01:36:16,148 --> 01:36:20,147 ♪ I wonder if you knew ♪ 1470 01:36:20,148 --> 01:36:25,148 ♪ How much I loved you so ♪ 1471 01:36:28,268 --> 01:36:33,245 ♪ Lost at sea, we were drifters there ♪ 1472 01:36:33,246 --> 01:36:38,246 ♪ Not headed for the coast ♪ 1473 01:36:39,836 --> 01:36:44,836 ♪ Memories of holding you ♪ 1474 01:36:45,766 --> 01:36:50,766 ♪ Waft right in like a ghost ♪ 1475 01:36:51,474 --> 01:36:52,606 (Alex knocking) 1476 01:36:52,607 --> 01:36:54,207 [Reena] I'm not here! 1477 01:36:56,259 --> 01:36:57,592 Okay, you win. 1478 01:36:59,404 --> 01:37:01,650 You were counting on the apartment to kill three people, 1479 01:37:01,651 --> 01:37:04,623 and now you could go claim your reward. 1480 01:37:04,624 --> 01:37:06,509 I hope you feel just great about it. 1481 01:37:06,510 --> 01:37:09,535 That's kind of you. You could've hidden it 1482 01:37:09,536 --> 01:37:11,624 and kept the apartment for yourself. 1483 01:37:11,625 --> 01:37:13,491 You think I still wanna live there? 1484 01:37:13,492 --> 01:37:16,092 Oh honey, please! Lemme tell you something. 1485 01:37:16,093 --> 01:37:18,642 There is nothing in that apartment 1486 01:37:18,643 --> 01:37:21,093 that is as evil as you. 1487 01:37:23,450 --> 01:37:25,141 You flatter me. 1488 01:37:25,142 --> 01:37:26,508 Let's go. 1489 01:37:27,860 --> 01:37:32,860 ♪ Memories of lovin' you ♪ - There's no place like home. 1490 01:37:33,743 --> 01:37:38,743 ♪ Enfold me like a ghost ♪ 1491 01:37:39,777 --> 01:37:44,777 ♪ That's when I miss you ♪ 1492 01:37:45,252 --> 01:37:49,127 ♪ Most of all ♪ 1493 01:37:50,123 --> 01:37:54,407 Hey! ♪ I miss you most ♪ 1494 01:37:54,408 --> 01:37:57,465 - How is he? - Seems like he'll be okay. 1495 01:37:57,466 --> 01:37:59,370 It's a miracle. 1496 01:37:59,371 --> 01:38:02,125 Ned, I'm so sorry. 1497 01:38:02,126 --> 01:38:04,957 - Can we see him? - It's, uh, probably better 1498 01:38:04,958 --> 01:38:06,812 if you stay away for now. 1499 01:38:06,813 --> 01:38:10,495 Cops still have a lot of questions about exactly how this 1500 01:38:10,496 --> 01:38:12,969 woodworking accident happened. 1501 01:38:12,970 --> 01:38:14,025 I'm so sorry. 1502 01:38:17,245 --> 01:38:19,695 (Reena panting) (eerie music) 1503 01:38:46,003 --> 01:38:49,297 Home again, home again, jiggity jig! 1504 01:38:49,298 --> 01:38:50,832 Oh shit. 1505 01:38:50,833 --> 01:38:52,458 (Reena screaming) (flesh tearing) 1506 01:38:53,438 --> 01:38:54,438 (thud) 1507 01:39:11,740 --> 01:39:13,606 (Christmas music) 1508 01:39:26,264 --> 01:39:27,267 Hey now! 1509 01:39:28,775 --> 01:39:29,752 Thank you. 1510 01:39:29,753 --> 01:39:31,991 I still think you're brave to stay. 1511 01:39:31,992 --> 01:39:35,438 Well, supposedly we're safe for now, 1512 01:39:35,439 --> 01:39:39,437 but if somebody else moves in, they wouldn't be. 1513 01:39:39,438 --> 01:39:42,411 At least that's what Lorne said when I asked him. 1514 01:39:42,412 --> 01:39:45,154 When you axed him? 1515 01:39:45,155 --> 01:39:47,435 - Not funny. - What? 1516 01:39:47,436 --> 01:39:48,885 I thought, you two buried the hatchet. 1517 01:39:48,886 --> 01:39:50,277 Okay, don't... 1518 01:39:51,494 --> 01:39:52,751 Thank you. 1519 01:39:52,752 --> 01:39:54,894 So the old lady stays on the lease. 1520 01:39:54,895 --> 01:39:56,608 Yep. She's got no family. 1521 01:39:56,609 --> 01:39:58,620 So as long as we pay the rent, 1522 01:39:58,621 --> 01:40:01,538 apparently nobody knows she's gone. 1523 01:40:02,392 --> 01:40:03,702 (Ben knocking on wood) 1524 01:40:03,703 --> 01:40:05,925 (something knocking back) 1525 01:40:05,926 --> 01:40:08,842 (intercom buzzing) (unearthly moaning) 1526 01:40:12,689 --> 01:40:14,841 Uh, think that's Lorne and Ned. 1527 01:40:14,842 --> 01:40:19,836 Hi, welcome! Wou're looking wonderful. 1528 01:40:19,837 --> 01:40:22,978 Hey, hey! Hey, welcome. Could I get you a drink? 1529 01:40:22,979 --> 01:40:24,852 Oh no, thank you. 1530 01:40:24,853 --> 01:40:27,960 When I drink now it all dribbles out the hole in the front. 1531 01:40:27,961 --> 01:40:30,185 (Lorne laughing) 1532 01:40:33,701 --> 01:40:37,478 May I make a toast please? 1533 01:40:37,479 --> 01:40:38,986 Here's to good friends 1534 01:40:38,987 --> 01:40:41,394 and an apartment big enough to entertain them. 1535 01:40:41,395 --> 01:40:42,228 Seriously! 1536 01:40:42,229 --> 01:40:44,630 When is the last time you saw a Manhattan apartment 1537 01:40:44,631 --> 01:40:46,548 with an eat-in kitchen? 1538 01:40:46,549 --> 01:40:50,371 ♪ Listen people, and listen well ♪ 1539 01:40:50,372 --> 01:40:53,776 ♪ I've got myself a little story to tell ♪ 1540 01:40:53,777 --> 01:40:55,527 ♪ The kind that make you sweat ♪ 1541 01:40:55,528 --> 01:40:57,857 ♪ Turn you into wreck ♪ 1542 01:40:57,858 --> 01:41:01,841 ♪ Make the hair stand up on the back of your neck ♪ 1543 01:44:29,052 --> 01:44:30,599 Fucking ghosts! 1544 01:44:31,707 --> 01:44:32,956 All right, fine! 1545 01:44:32,957 --> 01:44:34,748 It was a little funny. - See? 105550

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